Original subtitles

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

(LAWNMOWER WHIRRING)

RUBEN: Yeah, I'm turning it on now.

(MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY OVER PHONE)

RUBEN: Yeah, I figured so.

♪ ("HOW CAN I KEEP FROM SINGING?" PLAYING OVER SPEAKER) ♪

RUBEN: George is a real big fan of Enya.

♪ My life flows on ♪

♪ In endless song ♪

RUBEN: At first, it was just a matter

of playing them in the morning.

♪ Above earth's lamentation ♪

RUBEN: Just for his morning routine.

And then it just became dragging on longer and longer until...

- (WATER SPLATTERING) - RUBEN: Now it plays all day.

♪ (SONG CONTINUES FAINTLY) ♪

RUBEN: The whole day. For six years.

(WORKERS SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)

♪ (SONG CONTINUES FAINTLY) ♪

♪ While to that refuge Clinging ♪

♪ Since Christ is Lord ♪

♪ Of heaven and earth... ♪

(VOICES MURMURING)

VOICES: Don't sell the festival, George.

Don't sell. Don't sell.

(OVERLAPPING CHATTER)

VOICE: George!

♪ (SONG FADES) ♪

(SCRAP METAL CLATTERING IN DISTANCE)

Stand by, I'm rolling, and in three, two...

GREG: All of you goodly folks,

you have one chance to share all the wonders

and joy and magic and merriment

that the Texas Renaissance Festival has to offer.

ACTRESS: And here's to hoping to another decade

of partnership. Happy 43rd, Dennis!

It's been over a decade

that folks have been receiving two free Sunday tickets.

When they bring their metal to recycle at C&D.

And that's a whole lot of two-dollar bills

- and a bunch of tickets. - (CHUCKLES)

DENNIS: When you recycle your scrap at C&D,

we will pay you in...

...two-dollar bills.

And I'm going to give you two Sunday tickets to the 45th...

Anniversary of the Texas Renaissance Festival.

Bethy-poo, have you got Louie's letter ready?

BETH: Oh, yeah, I had it ready, uh, yesterday.

We're working on a letter of intent.

- I should have that in about two hours. - GEORGE COULAM: Now listen.

Let me tell you, my dear.

- This is a very simple thing. - BETH: Yes, sir.

All I'm trying to do is get him a thing that says,

"This is how much it is."

"This is how much you're going to pay down."

"And this is how much is the payout."

- BETH: Mm-hmm. -"And this is the interest

on the unpaid balance."

- BETH: Yes, sir. - All I've got to do is have that.

- BETH: It's right here. - And I'm done with him.

BETH: It's here.

- GEORGE: Okay? - BETH: Mm-hmm.

That's for Louie, the Louie deal.

- BETH: Yes. - Pie in the sky, Louie deal.

- (BETH CHUCKLES) - GEORGE: And with him buying,

I'm gonna get seven million net per year.

- BETH: That's here. - Mm-hmm.

BETH: That's here.

So, that's-

But that ain't gonna work, you see.

(CHUCKLES) It's got to be seven.

- I gotta get- - BETH: Okay, yeah...

- There's no reason to sell it... - BETH: I hear what you're saying...

...if I'm not gonna make as much or more,

there's no reason to sell it.

BETH: Seven, so...

You have to raise the price.

- (CHUCKLES) - BETH: 'Cause I can't read them upside down.

I can barely read them right side up.

♪ (INTRIGUING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

GEORGE: Louie's family are businesspeople

and their philosophy is to get the best deal they can.

(CAR DOOR OPENS)

(MACHINERY WHIRRING)

GEORGE: But you know, I worked on this thing for 50 years,

so they can pay me the proper price

if they want it.

(NEWS REPORT PLAYING INDISTINCTLY)

GEORGE: Fifty years. That's a long time.

When I got out of school, I had a master's degree in art

and I couldn't get a job.

I'd been in a festival in San Francisco.

And I says, "I'll start one of those."

And so in Salt Lake City,

I started my first Renaissance festival.

(ENGINE RUMBLING)

GEORGE: But my art,

businesspeople don't understand it,

just the money.

So the land is the most valuable.

Eight-hundred and eighty-five acres, that's a lot of land.

(CASH REGISTER DINGING)

♪ (INTRIGUING MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪

GEORGE: After a few years,

I wanted the freedom to do what you want to do.

But the only way you could do it,

is to incorporate a city.

So I bought Walt Disney's book, and I just did what he said.

WORKER: Tree coming down! Tree coming down!

BOBBY GILES: King George. Yep, that's right, that's right.

We just finished over here clearing some trees.

It's beautiful, George.

GEORGE: Without a dictatorship of, uh, counties and states,

we became the best festival in the world.

Everything we did,

we're simply copying

how Leonardo and Michelangelo did it in the 14th century.

In the Renaissance period, the artists

were revered in society right at the top.

They were painters, sculptors, poets, entrepreneurs.

So that's what I wanted to be.

All the things that the Renaissance people did.

♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪

(INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER)

Yes, I know Louie wants to buy the fair, I do.

And I can't fault Louie for that, you know?

And if Louie could, you know, I've asked George,

I mean, "Why do you care about your legacy?

What do you want?"

I don't know what he tells other people.

All I can do is go on what he tells me.

But, you know, I don't know what my position would be

if Louie were to own the festival.

LAUREN CROFT: Right.

JEFF BALDWIN: He hasn't had George as his mentor like I have.

- (PHONE KEYBOARD CLACKING) - JEFF: It's not like Willy Wonka,

as soon as he gave Charlie the chocolate factory,

Willy Wonka says, "It's yours. I'm out of here, dude."

You know, Willy Wonka was there with Charlie

- probably for decades. - (PHONE DINGING)

Teaching Charlie how to operate the chocolate factory.

Yeah.

♪ (INTRIGUING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

JEFF: The only place anger or frustration

is going to get me is in the unemployment line.

So I'm trying to play the long game.

You serve the king. That's the tactic.

And if you do that, the king will be benevolent,

which he has been. He always has been.

And he won't sell the place.

(CAN POPPING OPEN)

LOUIE MIGLIACCIO: Really? That's how much it's gonna cost me?

Okay. All right.

So you don't know for sure then, huh?

I've told him, like, I said,

"George, it's hitting a moving target with you.

We talk about something, and then you change it."

I think that George's new price is based on numbers

that are, like, not even real.

(TELEPHONE RINGING)

So what we're trying to do, what George wanted us to do

is project an average amount of growth over the year

since 1980,

to try to come up with an attendance number.

Thirty-eight, eight.

Plus 25, seven.

Equals... It's not right.

LOUIE: Jeffrey's a pushover.

He doesn't want to be the messenger.

He won't tell George any bad news.

He doesn't want to be the bad guy.

'Cause if you're the bad guy, you get hit.

- JEFF: Here it comes. - (PRINTER WHIRRING)

(SNIFFS)

(KEYBOARD KEYS CLACKING)

JEFF: Really? That's it?

He's wanting more for next year.

Can you draw something up?

Some Excel spreadsheet that's gonna show that.

LOUIE: Came from a family that is all about

emotional belief in yourself.

When I grew up, my dad was in the military.

And when I was in the Air Force,

I was actually slated as a pilot.

And, um, I just didn't play by the rules.

I basically did some aerobatic maneuvers

in a non-aerobatic airplane.

I didn't break anything, didn't kill anybody,

but was it smart? Hell no.

(AIRPLANE ENGINE REVVING)

LOUIE: But I was able to do it 'cause I was confident

that I could make this plane fly inverted and in loops

when it wasn't designed for it.

SPEAKER: (OVER RADIO) Migliaccio, get your ass down here, boy.

LOUIE: And it did.

EMPLOYEE: Is the ice machine on, right now?

LOUIE: We're up. Let me turn it on.

LOUIE: George doesn't think I can get the money.

He just doesn't think I can do it.

The fog, why didn't it start?

And that's okay, because a lot of people think

I can't do things.

Here, let me try something.

(POWER TOOL WHIRRING)

LOUIE: Um, but I can.

WORKER: Louie, that ain't working-

- (GROUP GASPS) - (CRACKLING)

LOUIE: Shit. Fuck. I broke it. I fucking broke it.

Real quick, guys, if we can fix that.

Fuck.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER AND LAUGHTER)

JEFF: Guys, it's upon us.

We've got six weeks.

But, you know, before we start,

I just want to say, Kaltenberger Ritterturnier,

what George really sent me for is to network,

and it's very valuable.

What Europe taught me is that we can dream big.

If we can- And it's just like George was in his infancy.

If you dream it, you can make it happen.

You can, and all we have to do is dream,

and we can't be afraid of dreaming too big.

Okay, so...

(PAPER RUSTLING)

- JEFF: Uh, tickets? - ♪ (DREAMY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

EMPLOYEE 1: We are at 27,792 tickets sold.

- Net income is 975,000. - EMPLOYEE 2: We got all

of the credit card machines for parking

and for camping set up.

I will give you a list of the receipts

that I do not have.

EMPLOYEE 3: If you have hired somebody,

I need to know who they are. I need to know that

- so that I can pay them. - JEFF: I understand.

EMPLOYEE 3: See, some people got paid on Thursday.

EMPLOYEE 2: For me, it's the bank.

And we will- I'm trying to also get geo-fence in...

(OVERLAPPING CHATTER)

♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪

DARLA SMITH: Jeff could never wear the crown.

Because Jeff's a follower, he's not a leader.

♪ (INTRIGUING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

DARLA: He's a good soldier. He's a very good soldier.

But business is not his forte.

So he could never be king.

I know many of these vendors.

I've worked with many of these vendors

for 30-plus years.

So I understand the investments that they have.

But when I started my Renaissance Festival career,

I specialized in exotic animals.

- Mainly elephants. - (ELEPHANT TRUMPETS)

DARLA: When you're working with elephants,

it is all about communication.

You have to bridge the gap

between what you're saying to her

and what you want her to do.

♪ (INTRIGUING MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪

DARLA: It's not just elephants, it works with people too.

(ELEPHANT TRUMPETING)

Six of the vendors

have to design a 14th century pub.

And we're going to have ten different cocktails

with all these stories behind it.

And then they'll all be fancy,

and they'll have, uh, swag in the top of the cup.

DARLA: We need to come up with the history,

and the development, and this king, and his wife,

and the magical peach, and the wizard,

- and the... - GEORGE: Well...

- Now... - DARLA: Mm-hmm.

- ...the vendors understand this. - DARLA: Absolutely.

- And they're going to do it. - Mm-hmm.

- That'd be fabulous. - DARLA: It would be, I agree.

A lot of people,

they want to keep their head below the grass

because if George notices you,

he's going to make you do something big.

And as my relationship with George grows or what not,

it's not as dangerous for me to be noticed.

♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪

- ♪ (AMBIENT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ - (PEN SCRIBBLING)

(TELEPHONE RINGING)

(SIGHS)

George.

VICTOR: (OVER PHONE) Hey, George, you called?

Yeah, I can't find, uh, Naomi's file.

(OVER EARPHONES) Have you got her phone number?

VICTOR: Yes, sir.

GEORGE: Okay, let me have that.

Yes, sir.

Okay, thank you.

(HUMMING)

I need to make a phone appointment with Sarah.

No, this is Natalie. Naomi.

(LINE RINGING)

- NAOMI: (OVER PHONE) Hello. - Naomi?

(NAOMI SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)

This is George.

Have you got time to talk for a little bit?

Well, okay.

I just- Okay. (CHUCKLES) I need to know about your, uh,

what you want from our relationship.

Do you want to have fun and laugh and talk and...

Okay.

(NAOMI CONTINUES SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)

♪ (PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

Okay.

Well, I think it would help us,

you know, to understand each other better

and have a chance for a... a, you know,

a longer relationship, if we can do that.

(NAOMI SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)

I didn't understand.

Well, none of it.

I didn't understand your words.

(NAOMI CONTINUES SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)

You see, you talk too fast. (LAUGHS)

You gotta say, "George, I must talk very slowly

and pronounce my words very clearly."

(SCOFFS, INHALES)

Okay.

Well... (CLICKS TONGUE) Okay.

- (NAOMI SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) - Bye-bye.

- ♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪ - (PHONE BEEPS)

JEFF: Entertainment.

Auditions are underway.

In fact, they start here in an hour.

So we've got stage acts coming out from everywhere.

Okay.

I just need your marketing plan.

JEFF: I've got next year's marketing plan

with me right now.

It's interesting.

Paper brochures are much more desirable now

than they were five years ago.

Jeffrey, all you have to do is have a thing

that had every goddamn penny in there and says,

"We're getting good value out of this

and it stays just like it is."

- JEFF: Yeah. - That's all you have to do.

- JEFF: Gotcha. - GEORGE: Do we send an email

to our customers?

JEFF: We do. We have an enormous email blast.

- One just went out. - LAUREN: We sent one yesterday.

Okay. Wait a minute. (CHUCKLES)

- JEFF: One just went out... - GEROGE: Is that in here, in this?

There's no thing for e-blast.

- JEFF: Yeah. E-blast. - Is it what it's called?

- E-blast? - JEFF: Exactly what it is.

- Uh-huh. - E-blast.

E-blasting.

Bring me a copy of the e-blast.

- Gotcha. - GEORGE: Okay.

We need to talk about your wife.

All we gotta do is have a new entertainment director.

JEFF: I talked to Brandi about it.

The entertainment plan is here.

We've got it taken care of.

What is that?

Jack Thurman, worked as a festival director

at the Holly Weird Film Festival in Los Angeles, California.

- Founder and artistic director. .. - GEORGE: Now wait a minute.

- ...of non-profit theater. - GEORGE: What?

- This is an application. - JEFF: Entertainment director.

It's a very- It's very promising.

- This is application for... - JEFF: Entertainment director.

- Entertainment director. - JEFF: Yeah.

GEORGE: This is who you need.

JEFF: It's got a great resume.

- I'll talk to him. - Okay.

And that...

And we're done, right?

- Yeah. - (GEORGE CLEARS THROAT)

GEORGE: Okay. They've started mining.

JEFF: I want Brandi in that position.

But right now, I can't.

I can't.

(GEORGE SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)

JEFF: Is it worth me putting my position on the line

to make sure that she has that position?

She'll agree that it's not.

He's the king.

We're going to side with the king.

- (BIRDS CHIRPING) - ♪ (INTRIGUING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

JEFF: Good morning!

CROWD: Good morning!

JEFF: My name is Jeff Baldwin and I am the general manager

of the Texas Renaissance Festival.

On behalf of our owner,

George Coulam, the management staff,

I'd like to thank you for coming out today.

My assistant director, not my assistant director,

it's going to take some getting used to

because I'm recently made the general manager.

- (CROWD APPLAUDS, CHEER) - Thank you.

JEFF: My wife Brandi is gonna be leading you

through these exercises.

Remember, in this theater, there is no fourth wall.

Make big choices.

Acting is all about choices.

How we walk, how we talk, how we stand, how we move.

Choices. Big choices get you noticed.

I want energy, I want quickness. Go.

- (IMITATES GUNSHOT) - BRANDI BALDWIN: Don't think, don't think.

Just go, just go. Just go, faster.

JEFF: George made up his mind.

It's that easy, it's that black and white.

I don't have the final say. Everybody knows that.

I have to put faith in

"Ultimately, it's gonna work out."

It's not what I want.

♪ (MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪

JEFF: Let's see about some fun with dialects.

All right. Fun with dialects.

- Um- - JEFF: And stereotypes are your friends.

- Yeah. - JEFF: So immediately

I start thinking Austrian.

(IN AUSTRIAN ACCENT) I go Arnold Schwarzenegger.

I go to those stereotypes that help lead me. Spanish.

(IMITATES RICKY RICARDO) "Lucy, you have some splainin' to do."

Stereotypes work.

(STEREOTYPICAL FRENCH LAUGH)

- (INDISTINCT CHATTER) - BRANDI: Hiring a person

to do a job

because they are more than experienced to do that job

is not nepotism.

Now, how do you move up and down

the evolutionary ladder?

There's no right or wrong as to-

You know, Brandi says there's no right or wrong,

but there is one way to be wrong,

and that's by denying.

By denying what they tell you,

by not accepting it and going with it,

or just deciding to do something else.

People who play that game with wild abandonment...

- (BOTH GRUNT) - ...and are willing to completely get rid

of their self-conception

and look incredibly stupid playing those games,

that's the person who's gonna succeed.

It's gonna work out fine, babe.

- (CHUCKLES) - It's gonna work out fine.

Will it be different? It's always gonna be different.

Babe, we are in act five of King Lear.

We're in act five.

(ACTRESS VOCALIZES)

JEFF: Today we have specialty acts.

Amazing. You are cast as a fairy.

(BOTH GRUNT)

(VOCALIZES)

JEFF: Let's hope, you know, that we get something

out of it in the long run.

George has always been good to me.

- BRANDI: Mm-hmm. - Always been good to me.

Has he?

(ECHOING LAUGHTER)

JEFF: Guys, I had a lot of talent up there today.

It's like you guys have been working together for years.

I'm so impressed by this group,

I can guarantee you

I'm gonna cast every single one of you.

- (ACTORS CHEER) - Okay?

- So my hat is off to all of you. - (ACTORS APPLAUD)

- ♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪ - (APPLAUSE STOPS)

GEORGE: Jeffrey's taken the cure.

I think Jeffrey just told his wife

that it just wasn't gonna work

and this is the way it has to be.

I mean, I respect the guy. I mean...

It's a lot.

- You know what I mean? - But Jeffrey's learning.

He's in a, you know, he's an unfinished book.

He's trying to learn. He's-

Empirically, he's thinking things out

like a normal person,

but he's learning that sometimes that doesn't work.

And so you take a big gulp and you go on.

Right.

GEORGE: Here we go.

Here we go.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

♪ (GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS) ♪

- POPE: Hi! - Here's Cynthia.

POPE: Hi, I'm Pope.

- Did I say your name wrong? - POPE: Uh, it's Pope.

- Pope! - POPE: Yeah, hi.

- Why did I think you were Cynthia? - (POPE LAUGHS)

Um, I'm not sure.

- (CHUCKLES) Okay. - (POPE LAUGHS)

- Sit down over here. - POPE: Sweet.

- (SIGHS) - How are you?

- Okay, how are you? - POPE: Good.

- (LAUGHS) - Are those your natural breasts?

- (LAUGHS) They are. - GEORGE: Okay.

- All natural. - I've had problems with dates

and they said they were natural breasts,

but they weren't. (CHUCKLES)

Oh, how did you figure that out?

Well, because then we had a date, and, uh-

(BOTH LAUGH)

And she... (LAUGHS, MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY)

-"Lady, those are plastic." - (LAUGHS)

So I have a-

you know, a... a fear.

♪ (DREAMY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

- POPE: Well, you're good. - GEORGE: Those are good?

- POPE: Yep. - GEORGE: Okay.

POPE: What are you looking for in someone

that you want to date?

Well, just like any normal couple.

- Mm-hmm. - Just, you know,

"Hi honey, what was your day like today?"

And you'd say, "Okay, well, this, this, and this."

And you tell me what your day was like,

and then in between that,

we just screw the shit out of each other,

- and you have a nice climax. - (LAUGHS)

Huh?

I'm sure you could get me there.

"My God. Oh my God.

- Yeah. Oh, goddamn right!" - (LAUGHS)

"Oh, that's just perfect."

Oh, you said, "Oh, God, this is it."

- Madly in love. - (LAUGHS)

GEORGE: Where do you live?

POPE: Um, I live in San Francisco right now.

You just came out here to meet me?

Yeah.

And who bought your ticket to come here?

I did.

- You paid for your own ticket... - Mm-hmm.

- ...for God's sake? - (LAUGHS)

Well, I have this theme park called the Renaissance Festival.

Mm-hmm.

Have you been to the one in San Francisco?

No, I haven't.

Well, that's where I got the idea

for the Renaissance Festival, was at the San Francisco one.

Oh, cool.

I've been in the business 55 years.

POPE: Yeah. Whoa.

- That's a long time. - That's a long enough.

- POPE: Yeah. - That's long enough.

POPE: (LAUGHS) Aw.

Well, are you trying to retire soon?

A what?

Were you planning on, like, continuing the festival?

Say what?

Are you planning on continuing the festival?

Oh! I want to sell it.

(SIGHS) I got this guy,

and they were negotiating and talking,

but I- Doesn't have enough money.

But he... he's got a little bit.

He's got ten million put down, but...

- (SIGHS) - POPE: Hmm.

Well, won't you miss being king?

Shit no.

(POPE CHUCKLES)

I hope not.

Okay.

- (CAR ENGINE STARTS) - ♪ (MUSIC STOPS) ♪

♪ (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

GEORGE: She was very pretty girl, but...

it's not gonna happen.

Here's 85-year-old man

with 24-year-old beautiful princess.

They don't understand what I want.

They haven't read a lot of poetry

about love and relationships and sex and...

There's nothing to talk about.

So there you go.

Life in the dating of Georgie Poo. (CHUCKLES)

♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪

(CRICKETS CHIRPING)

- GAYLE: (ON TAPE) Say hi. - Hi.

- GAYLE: (ON TAPE) Say hi, George. (LAUGHS) - Hi, George.

We're playing with your new video camera.

GAYLE: (ON TAPE) I carry it. He just paid for it.

WOMAN: (ON TAPE) We're having fun.

GAYLE: (ON TAPE) I am now videoing the house.

GAYLE: Sometimes George remembers the worst,

then I always remember the good times.

GAYLE: (ON TAPE) I'm gonna go video George naked until...

Oh! He's tee-teeing, cute little thing.

(CHUCKLES)

We were married for 12 to 15 years, off and on.

Whenever we split up,

I still cared about what happened to him.

But he could care less if I got ran over by a truck.

GAYLE: (ON TAPE) Don't be getting out of the pool and showing your nudity.

GAYLE: He can be so kind and generous

and considerate one minute,

and then the next minute...

it's all about him.

He could punish you.

- (INDISTINCT CHATTER) - ♪ (PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

GAYLE: He had to be in control, and when he lost control,

that's when his other personality came out.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER OVER TV)

(SLIDE PROJECTOR WHIRS AND CLICKS)

DARLA: If he had just stayed with Gayle,

he would have been a lot different.

PAUL: My wife and I were quite literally his only friends.

- HONEY: For years. - PAUL: For years.

But the only things that George cares about now,

he cares about power over the people.

Power and control.

HONEY: Very simple.

He's got to control everything.

GAYLE: I don't know what changed.

I don't know why he's got to have that

with everybody.

PAUL: After 35 years, we were told,

"We're not renewing your contract."

And we were forced to sell our operation at the festival.

And it was done.

(SLIDE PROJECTOR CLICKS)

PAUL: My question to him was, "Why?"

I think everybody deserves a reason why.

He never said.

(SLIDE PROJECTOR CLICKS)

PAUL: And now...

HONEY: He has, um, no one.

No one in his life.

(SLIDE PROJECTOR CLICKS)

PAUL: Nothing but the festival.

(SLIDE PROJECTOR CLICKS)

♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

- ♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ - GEORGE: Okay, here we go.

GREG: (OVER RADIO) Good morrow and well met.

It's a beautiful morning here in Newmarket Village.

My goodness.

Is it time for the festival to begin already?

HEAD GUARD: Men, and women,

I'm going to be conducting a guard post inspection.

I'm going to be talking to each of you in turn.

I'm going to be making sure

that your uniform details are just so.

That your bearing is correct.

And to make sure that you're motivated

for today's tasks. Do you understand that?

- GUARDS: Aye, Chief. - Marvelous well.

(BLINDS WHIRRING)

(COFFEE MACHINE WHIRRING)

HEAD GUARD: Feeling motivated about today's tasks?

- GUARD 1: Yes, Chief. - HEAD GUARD: Outstanding.

- ♪ (MUSIC STOPS) ♪ - (BABBLES LOUDLY)

(BABBLES, BLOWS RASPBERRIES)

(CONTINUES BABBLING)

(BABBLES AND BLOWS RASPBERRIES)

♪ (MUSIC RESUMES PLAYING) ♪

GREG: So goodly friends, wake up, put on your lederhosen.

- It's time to celebrate Oktoberfest... - Uh-oh.

...and we're going to have a glorious time. Huzzah!

Lens just fell out of my glasses.

You got a pair of glasses up there, Eddie?

EMPLOYEE: Welcome to the largest Renaissance Festival

in the United States.

(SCANNER BEEPS)

EMPLOYEE: I have programs here for five pounds,

maps, menus, showtimes,

all that you need and much more!

GEORGE: We're supposed to be on an inspection tour

of the campground.

- Is that correct? - (EDDIE RESPONDS INDISTINCTLY)

Okay.

Then we got to inspect the campground.

Edward.

- EDDIE: Yeah. - Back up.

- (EDDIE SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY) - Back up!

Shit. (CHUCKLES)

EMPLOYEE: Good day, milord. How art thou?

Let me see your handout sheet

for what you give them when they come in.

This is the booklet.

It has a map of the grounds inside.

- Very good. Okay. - EMPLOYEE: Thank you, sir.

- You pass. - EMPLOYEE: Have a blessed day.

- Thank you. - EMPLOYEE: Thank you.

No hat.

Call Laura.

Now, you see why I suffer from the gross inadequacies

of the human race?

- You have a prime example. - (LINE RINGING)

LAUREN: (OVER PHONE) Hello?

Yeah, I just went to the campground gates.

She doesn't have a hat on.

LAUREN: She didn't have a hat on?

Are they supposed to have a hat?

LAUREN: I will find out. That is a great question.

- I will definitely ask. - In the 14th century period,

it was the rule that people had functions like this

and everybody had to wear a hat.

And so everybody that works in the festival

has to have a hat on.

Clearly states in section two, paragraph four.

LAUREN: They should have a hat.

I will make sure everyone out there gets a hat.

GEORGE: Okay.

This is Mario's parking.

Tradition is we always stop and say hello to Mario.

Then we ask Mario,

"How many people are coming to the festival?"

And Mario's one of the best guessers.

- Mario? - MARIO: Hey, Mr. George.

- Twenty-four. - GEORGE: Twenty-four thousand?

My God, I hope so. I hope- That'd be damn good.

- I... I think so. Going 24. - GEORGE: Okay.

Thank you, Mr. George, for everything.

- GEORGE: Okay. - Thank you.

GEORGE: Call Jeffrey.

- (LINE RINGING) - JEFF: (OVER PHONE) Yes, sir.

Okay, we're on for eleven o'clock?

JEFF: I've got the carriage waiting here for us.

LAUREN: We're on the way. Bye-bye.

GEORGE: There's my statue.

Well, he made me a lot better looking.

The projection is?

EMPLOYEE 1: Eighteen thousand.

Eighteen?

- Mario said 24. Okay. - EMPLOYEE 1: Mm-hmm.

- EMPLOYEE 2: Your majesty. - Good afternoon, your grace.

GEORGE: Thank you, ladies.

(HUMMING)

- ♪ (MUSIC TURNS CALM) ♪ - (LIVELY CHATTER)

♪ (MUSIC STOPS) ♪

(LIVELY CHATTER CONTINUES)

LOUIE: (IN BRITISH ACCENT) Good day indeed.

Hello. Hello

Are you having a good time?

Perfect, perfect.

Hello, milord. Good day, good day.

Good day.

ACTOR: Welcome to the Ren Fair!

It's our first day!

Hi, you dressed up for our first day?

- Wonderful! - ACTRESS: Milords and miladies!

Welcome to this wonderful kingdom!

- ♪ (EXCITING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ - (PHONE BUZZING)

LOUIE: This is Louie.

- (MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY OVER PHONE) - Hold on.

Good day, good day. Space Force.

Are you from the future, milord? Excellent, excellent.

Yeah, okay, I'm not really supposed to be on the phone.

Um, you know, 'cause we're in costume, yeah.

I know you're busy, so- But yeah,

so at the end of the day, man, it's a good deal.

It looks good, it should work.

I'm excited about it,

and I think there's support for us.

♪ (EXCITING MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪

All right, here we go, boys and girls!

Coming up!

We're running out of time. I don't want to wait.

George is at the point now where he's ready.

Trust me, it's definitely worth it.

Spending habits have changed

and with Live Nation up 63%, Disney's up 73%.

People are really spending money out at these parks.

Hello, milady. When I see you smile,

I can take over the world, milord.

This is a throwback, and I think it hits

the emotional heart of humans. And that's where we need to be.

It's hot. (GROANS) Oh, can I get some water?

- Milords of the day! - LOUIE: People come in

and they feel like they're truly part of a village.

That's what people are craving for.

(GROANS) Who has my water?

It's just a matter of growing it,

making it more efficient from a financial standpoint

to generate cash for the investors.

I got to take this off. God, it's too fucking hot.

Make things more interactive.

Holy fuck. I really feel sick.

Take what we do...

- (SIGHS) - ♪ (MUSIC STOPS) ♪

...and just push the envelope.

I got hydration!

♪ (EXCITING MUSIC RESUMES PLAYING) ♪

ACTRESS: ...to become king or queen

in this wonderful kingdom!

LOUIE: I'm like George, I'm impatient.

♪ I can't stop this feeling ♪

I want it now.

Yes, milord!

I want it fucking done now.

Hip, hip, huzzah! Hip, hip, huzzah!

Just explain it to Dad and Mom.

I'm not gonna let anybody lose money.

We have to have a deal that's gonna be able to pay for itself.

- Love you too. - MAN: (OVER PHONE) I'll talk to you later.

All right, thanks. Go to go. Bye.

♪ Who is going to be the next king? ♪

♪ The next king! ♪

- (VOCALIZING) - Yup.

Give me a dollar!

ACTOR: Make a hall for the carriage!

Make way for the king!

Make way for the king!

♪ (ACCORDION TUNE PLAYING) ♪

ACTOR: Make way!

JEFF: ...without upselling that top.

(HORSE WHINNIES)

Good crowd we had when the gates open today.

There were probably 300 people.

- Yeah. - You know, I feel lucky today.

DARLA: Yeah?

I think so far things have been running so very smoothly.

Amazingly so.

Good, so all right. We're on the ball apparently.

- Moving in the right direction. - JEFF: We are.

Definitely moving in the right direction.

George, you know what we've done really well

over the last couple of years? Is putting in all these tables.

All these places for people to sit

because there's so many festivals across the country...

Are these guys are working out here with these tents?

- DARLA: You like that? - Yeah.

- DARLA: This is what I've been working on. - Very nice. Very nice.

Oh, those are nice tents. Super good, man.

DARLA: I've been talking to the vendors

and they say, "More traffic already."

They can tell there's more traffic through here already.

GEORGE: Oh, yeah, Darla. Very nice.

DARLA: Thank you, sir.

That kettle corn smells good.

I think even, you know, in the future,

there might even be one at the other end of the fair.

- Let's go that way. - DARLA: To the right, please, if you could.

We're done.

- Okay. - DARLA: You want to buzz

by the Thirsty Pirate real quick?

- Let's buzz by, yeah. - GEORGE: No.

We'll do that next weekend.

DARLA: Okay. We'll do that next weekend.

We can head back to the front, please.

Thank you.

ACTOR: Make way for the carriage!

- (LIVELY CHATTER) - ♪ (PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

DARLA: Okay, George.

GEORGE: Yeah, touch base with Louie.

Can you do that?

- I'll make it work. - GEORGE: Okay.

I'll touch base with you tomorrow, George.

If you need me for anything, just let me know.

- Okay? - GEORGE: Okay.

- Have a good lunch. - (CAR ENGINE STARTS)

DARLA: It's very obvious, to me anyway,

that there are parasites on this fair.

It's the ones that think TRF is theirs.

Jeff's an artist and he's been involved

with this fair for a very, very long time.

He's been an asset for a very, very long time.

But what we need is someone to be the boss.

♪ ("HUNGARIAN RHAPSODY NO. 2" BY FRANZ LISZT PLAYING) ♪

LAUREN: (OVER PHONE) How was the carriage ride?

- JEFF: He was in good spirits. - LAUREN: Good.

- JEFF: You know? - LAUREN: Good, good.

JEFF: He was complimentary of everything.

You know, George, I mean, if he finds fault,

- he will point it out. - LAUREN: He will comment.

JEFF: Is there time for us to get sweets?

- (INDISTINCT CHATTER OVER TV) - BRANDI: Yay.

JEFF: Oh, boy. It's Lauren with butter bars.

Yeah, this guy is really good with coffee.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Mitch, come in.

I have one bone to pick with you.

- JEFF: Okay. - Very serious.

The first two costume contests,

- I know. (CHUCKLES) - ...we had the best costumes,

bar none, and you gave it to our friends...

- (PHONE DINGS) - ...who had these green costumes

that hadn't been even finished out.

And after you made that asinine decision...

(CHUCKLES) This is the same story I tell,

just from a different angle. Uh-huh.

- (PHONE DINGS) - MITCH: ...everybody came up to us and said,

"There is something wrong here

- because you always have the best costumes." - (PHONE DINGS)

JEFF: I gotta tell you that the year before...

- LAUREN: Hey, Jeff. - ...didn't we send you to England

round the trip with British Airways.

- (LAUGHS) - WOMAN: England?

MITCH: Day before fair, a year later,

I go to the post office and I get a...

- (PHONE RINGING) - JEFF: Can you take that, Lauren?

- (INDISTINCT CHATTER) - LAUREN: Hey, Neal.

Hey, I've already- They've...

Uh-huh. Give me one second.

Um, we are currently in a room with-

(GROUP LAUGHS)

- What happened to the... - Uh, two guests.

- Jeff. - LAUREN: Hey, Jeff.

I'm gonna need to cut this party short.

We have some work we need to deal with.

Okay, we need the room.

I gotta take care of some business.

(LINE RINGING)

- JEFF: Karl, I need you. - KARL: (OVER PHONE) Okay, where you at?

JEFF: Somehow the Navasota Examiner got wind

that the water supply was no good.

BRANDI: It's already at Houston Chronicle.

It's at the Chronicle. Here.

JEFF: Yeah, it's at the Chronicle now too.

(MOUSE CLICKING)

JEFF: All right, we all know it's a lie.

We're safe. We're good. We were good.

It's just a lie that some idiot posted on social media.

♪ (WHIMSICAL FRISS PLAYS) ♪

- Hello pirates... - (CROWD CHEERING)

...and welcome to the Thirsty Pirate Pub.

(WATER HISSING)

That's unbelievable. How could this be

even happening right now? We had a brand-new system.

- Not even a possibility. - (CROWD CHEERING)

No, it wasn't my fault, for sure.

It had to be... Whose fault was it then?

JEFF: George, the water has always been safe.

Always.

It was an anomalous test.

In fact, we even have a statement

from the health department saying that the water

is perfectly safe.

We're retracting it right now.

♪ (MUSIC SWELLS) ♪

- (CROWD CHEERING) - ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

JEFF: I thought we did everything right.

BRANDI: But the thing is, is that now you know

if something like this happens again...

JEFF: People aren't going to read

through to the end of the article.

People are going to read the headline.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

George will just say, "I fucked up."

And that's what matters to me.

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

- DARLA: Hi, George. - GEORGE: Darla.

Okay.

You probably noticed

we're suffering a lot of Jeffrey's fuckups.

- DARLA: Little bit. - GEORGE: A little?

- (DARLA SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY) - GEORGE: Jesus Christ.

DARLA: I'm trying to be kind.

GEORGE: Well, he just let a lot of things

all slip through the thing,

and he was off at Joy Land somewhere.

Darla, we're looking for some managers to help him.

- DARLA: Gotcha. - GEORGE: Can you do that?

- DARLA: Okay. - GEORGE: We'll explain that to him.

DARLA: Mm-hmm. GEORGE: Okay?

- GEORGE: Okay? - DARLA: Okay.

(CRICKETS CHIRPING)

Co-GMs.

Yeah.

Co-GMs, Jeff and Darla.

And who knows? Who knows if that's where the...

where it'll stop.

Maybe because I don't trust anybody,

I don't think it will stop there.

DARLA: I'm the co-general manager

of the Texas Renaissance Festival.

♪ (PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

DARLA: We've decided that it's going to take two people

to actually help run this show.

My job is regardless what's going on

with the Willy Wonka situation,

I will keep this company afloat

and I will keep it moving forward.

We're kind of at a pivotal time

because I have yet to see a fair successfully handed

from one person to another.

If George can relax enough to let Louie come in,

and he and I work together,

and let us take that burden off of him,

then that would be the best-case scenario.

- LOUIE: Hey, Darla. - DARLA: Louie.

LOUIE: I have a question for you. I'm not sure

- it's the right time to ask. - DARLA: Absolutely.

(TELEPHONE RINGING)

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)

- (CAR DOOR CLOSES) - ♪ (PENSIVE MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪

♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪

ANNOUNCER: (OVER TV) This best of seven

has become a best of three

to decide a World Champion in 2022...

JEFF: Darla wants my job.

Louie doesn't give a rat's ass.

And they're working together?

JEFF: Yes.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

The term that I wanted to take to George...

is that they are thick as thieves.

(CROWD CHEERING OVER TV)

I'm worried.

I think that sometime this weekend,

George will sign something.

Something in the end I think he'll regret.

I just have to point it out to George.

I just have to point it out to him.

Either you pursue something

that you've given the last 43 years of your life,

or you let somebody come in

and just throw away everything that happened before.

I'm not gonna let someone come in

and throw away everything that happened before.

I'm not.

I'm not.

I've been true- (SCOFFS)

I've been truer to him.

I have.

I've been truer to him than I was my mother.

BRANDI: What do you mean by that?

(SIGHS)

(BREATHES DEEPLY)

Well, I've had to be.

My mother, I could push her away to a home

and not have to deal with the situation.

With George, I don't think there's anyone

who cares for him.

They don't.

BRANDI: But do you think he even appreciates that?

I know he doesn't.

So is it folly?

Of course it's folly. My- (SCOFFS)

Of course it's folly. Of course it is.

♪ (PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

Of course it is.

(CRYING) Goddammit. Why is it so important?

(SNIFFLES)

Why is it so important?

Why can't I just go in and leave it when I go home?

Why is it so important?

(SNIFFLES) And it's slipping.

- (SNIFFLES) - BRANDI: What's done is done.

It's not like you're gonna convince him.

♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪

GEORGE: The big meeting is tomorrow.

Louie thinks he's got the money together.

His family are going to come and kick the tires

and see if they want to buy the festival.

(LAUGHS)

Very exciting moment for Louie.

♪ (INTRIGUING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

This is his day in the sun.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

GEORGE: Yes, his mother and his father and his aunts

and uncles have some money

that they could put up as collateral for loans

from the bank to him to make the payment.

Jesus Christ. This is his dream.

This is the thing that he dreams about.

DARLA: He's going to bring you on, Louie.

George is headed to you.

Right now.

By the food booth there, by the new...

- LOUIE: (OVER PHONE) So you see him? - Yup.

- LOUIE: All right. Let's do this. - DARLA: Want me to get him?

- LOUIE: . - DARLA: Okay.

I got him.

(PHONE KEYBOARD CLACKING)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

DRAGON: Jeffrey, you're running out of time.

- (RADIO STATIC) - JEFF: Make good choices.

DRAGON: It's now or never.

You must speak to the king.

DRAGON: No more playing the long game, Jeffrey.

You know what you have to do.

LOUIE: My family loves it out here because it's fun.

They know the possibilities.

Based on a deal, it's a fucking win-win.

We can give him more upside

than he's ever had as long as I've been here.

Because it's never been managed with good people.

We all know what George wants, except for one person.

George wants to retire,

but if George retires and somebody buys it,

somebody's left out.

DRAGON: (ECHOING) Jeff!

LOUIE: I'm not here to fucking inherit something

and play games and be a yes-man. Fuck that.

I'm here to make decisions,

to make the best thing for this place,

and I want to do that and I want to pay for it.

I got the numbers in fucking line.

That's what I did.

♪ (MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY) ♪

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

(CRICKETS CHIRPING)

(CAR DOOR CLOSES)

BETH: Jeff's here.

- GEORGE: Jeff is here? - BETH: Yes, sir.

GEORGE: Is there anybody else with him?

Is he just by himself?

(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

Okay, Mr. Jeffrey.

George, I'm one of those actors that as much as I can act,

I cannot lie.

George, I don't want you to do this deal.

I don't want you to sell.

- (CHUCKLES) - JEFF: I want this place to go on

as you envisioned it.

As I like to think we envisioned it.

I mean, is sometimes change a good thing?

Yeah, I know that change can be a good thing,

but it has to be the right person.

(INHALES SHARPLY) George, don't sell.

Don't sell to Louie.

I'm afraid that once you are no longer the owner

of the Texas Renaissance Festival,

you're not the king anymore.

You are...

normal.

♪ ("HOW CAN I KEEP FROM SINGING?" PLAYING) ♪

♪ My life flows on ♪

♪ In endless song ♪

♪ Above earth's lamentation ♪

♪ I hear the sweet Though far-off hymn ♪

♪ That hails a new creation ♪

♪ No storm can shake My inmost calm ♪

♪ While to that refuge Clinging ♪

♪ Since Christ is Lord ♪

♪ Of heaven and earth ♪

♪ How can I keep from singing? ♪

♪ (SONG CONCLUDES) ♪

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