Original subtitles

If you're not happy, Ruth here

has offered to make those changes for you.

It's my book.

I'm not changing it

and I won't let any of you change it.

I'm the reason Trevor went down.

If I find out that this was you...

..all of your lives is gonna become miserable from now on.

You have to get the kids now

and you have to take them to your sister's in Sydney.

Why did Trevor go down and Joey didn't?

Why didn't you?

Where does one go to request the application

on a historic search warrant?

I don't care how many doors you slam,

you still can't see him.

You have no idea

how fucked up that family is.

I've had an offer.

What do you mean? What offer?

The pub.

Who made the offer?

I'm not living here

and running a pub.

We're not gonna run a pub, Vic!

We're gonna buy it

and then burn it to the fucking ground!

♪ We were young girls

♪ In a strong world

♪ I'm on your doorstep, man

♪ Ringing your bell again

♪ Ringing your bell again

♪ Well, here I am

♪ On your doorstep again

♪ I let the winds of time pass through my life

♪ Oh, maybe there's an end

♪ Who the fuck protects you?

♪ Who the fuck is gonna resurrect you? ♪

♪ I know it all comes back times three

♪ That human

♪ That demon showed me

♪ So don't come looking

♪ For me

♪ I've got my walls up now

♪ Anhedonia

♪ Ahh

♪ Ahh. ♪

Do you know how insane this is?

Your abusers walk away with our savings

so you can fucking burn down a pub

and probably the whole state

in the height of summer and go to prison.

We'll wait for winter.

I'm not letting you put our money on a bonfire

for the sake of your revenge, warranted as it is.

OK, then, we'll board it up,

leave it as a stinking carcass

on the side of the road like a fucking eyesore.

- You're better than this, Tess. - Am I?

'Cause I feel like I'd like to be much worse than this.

They can't have my money.

And neither can you.

End of story.

All your cold, secretive behaviour,

the phone calls,

vomiting,

it's all part of your addiction, and I get why that's there,

and I am very understanding about that,

I really am,

but you are just fuelling it.

It's not good for you to stay here.

It's not good for me.

Or the kids.

And I booked tickets for us to fly home.

I've put deposits on the school in Sydney.

We won't be able to afford school

or the mortgage or a fucking box of crackers

if you go through with this.

Don't look at me like that.

It's patronising bullshit, Vic.

I'm going home and I'm taking the kids.

And I've already put a freeze on the accounts.

They're in my name too.

Why are we leaving?

- We're not. - Yes, we are.

- We're going home. - But I can't go home.

I've already told all my friends that I live here now.

Is this my fault?

Oh! No, darling.

So are we packing or unpacking?

- Unpacking. - We're packing.

I'm packing.

You do what you want, Tess.

Can I do what I want?

Trevor was arrested.

Just Trevor?

For the drugs.

Oh.

Just so fucked up.

Joey's still out there.

Come on. We should leave here.

Tess.

Simone.

Simone, wake up.

Mon!

Simone!

Mon, it's Hat.

I'm sleeping!

Can you open up?

I don't want to talk to you!

Don't worry, a very nice assistant

is gonna amend my book to suit you.

Please speak to her

if there are any further changes you'd like to make.

Well, there's no point, because Trevor's read it.

He walked into my house

and threatened to kill me.

Oh, shit!

Fuck!

Are you OK?

There's something else.

The detective who arrested Trevor Calley

applied for a surveillance device warrant on the pub

two days before the party.

Probably to catch him moving drugs.

What do you mean? Like, a camera?

I don't know.

But if it was a camera,

then the police would have known what happened to Tess.

Which is so much worse than them

not giving a shit about us in the first place.

Right!

But also, if they did record the sale,

they would have seen me and Joey

helping Trevor move the kegs into the van.

So why... why weren't we arrested?

Maybe they weren't fucking recording, Hat.

I don't fuckin' know.

Or they're protecting somebody.

Like who?

What if it's Joey?

What, you really believe Joey worked with the cops

to get his own brother sent down?

Trevor always bullied him.

And you always protected him.

If the cops were watching him,

they're as guilty of rape as he is.

Oh, Mon.

If he knew the cops were watching him,

he could not have raped her!

Nobody's ever gonna admit anything.

What if I just confront him, just ask him?

How is this gonna help Tess?

What if there's this whole other story?

Tess would want to know.

We need to know.

You think I haven't got a voice in my fucking head

saying, "You've got it wrong"?

My instinct says that what I saw was what it was.

Where were you

when you dumped the beer on that guy's head?

By the bar.

By the jukebox.

No, we were dancing by the jukebox,

and then I went and bought a beer.

Nah, mate.

Where did I kiss Tess?

That actually happened?!

Ha!

You don't know everything.

Look, all I'm trying to say

is if we both remember different things,

then neither of us really knows what happened.

And just because you turned what you remembered into a book

and I didn't

doesn't make your memories the right ones.

God.

I don't think it's wise that Joey sees you.

I think you should stay in the car.

I'm not letting you go in there alone.

Mon, we have one chance at this.

Stay in the car.

Please.

OK, call me if you see Trevor.

I thought it was me, all these years.

If you can believe it.

I really did.

What?

But now I'm pretty sure it was you.

What the fuck are you talking about?

You colluded with the police.

You got your own brother sent to prison.

Not that he didn't deserve it.

You really want to keep your voice down

saying shit like that.

I know you think you're smarter than everybody, Hat.

But you really got the wrong end of the stick this time.

No.

No, I am not wrong.

When a cop wants a warrant,

they have to make an application to the court,

and even if the operation is covert,

they have to have a sworn affidavit

to support the application.

It's bureaucratic, it's boring,

but it's also the only piece of paper that slips through

when they think they've redacted all files.

This signed copy of the affidavit

submitted to the on-call registrar

at 2:00 in the morning

for a surveillance device warrant on your pub

two days before the party.

And if there was covert surveillance down here,

then why weren't we all arrested?

Everyone goes down in those networks,

even the smallest ant on the pile.

Why not us?

Did you protect me?

You're out of your fuckin' mind.

No.

He was cruel to you, he never respected you.

- I really get why you did it. - Stop saying that, OK?!

I made no fuckin' deals!

So you left me alone on the bar

on the busiest night of the year

to come down here and sexually assault my friend

in the middle of your shift?

It doesn't make any sense, Joey.

I do not think you raped Tess,

but I do think you know what happened to her.

Hey.

I told you you're naw welcome here.

Who are you sat waitin' fer?

You've had to live with this

hanging over your head for 20 years.

This is your chance to come clean.

Give Tess the truth.

Right.

Well, the police have to report to the magistrate

if the warrant was used.

How it was used,

whether the device was mounted on a wall

or a person,

and the name of any persons it recorded.

And I've applied for that information

and I'll have it back within a week.

You trying to get me killed, are you?

Trevor thinks that I dobbed on him.

He's threatening my kids.

And that'd be on you, Joey.

It wasn't a camera.

You tell me what you're doin' here!

Why don't you ask your rapist sons?

Oh, you...

You're the abuser here.

You're the only one.

You fucked off and all went away

and now you come back and you make everybody's life miserable.

- Oi! - Mum!

What's wrong with you?!

Fuck off! Go on! Fuck off!

Just get out of here or I'll scalp you,

you skinny waste of space!

Get out!

That's what you deserve, you slut!

Filthy sluts!

Alright, alright.

Whew.

You think I didnae ken what that book says you did?

You fuckin' know me, Ma?

You look me in the eye and tell me she's lying.

Fuck off.

Turn your fuckin' head and look at me!

- Just fuck off, Ma! - Alright, go on.

Donnae look at me.

Get away. You make me sick!

I'm fuckin' selling up and I'm going home.

I'm not letting go of this.

If I go back home...

..I've done nothing.

I've achieved nothing.

I've gone backwards.

It's like I'm...

..stuck back here, back in time.

Because...

..she's still down there, Vic.

I still see her every day.

And I can't save her.

I can't pick her up off that floor.

And I can't let that happen to anyone else.

Do you not think that that's important?

Yes!

But I do feel... that you're stuck.

And it's somewhere else.

You aren't with us.

But this is the first time I've had an image in my mind

that feels like an antidote.

There are other ways.

What would happen if you spoke with them?

- No, no. - It might help.

I wouldn't trust myself. I don't...

I don't want to be weak in front of them.

I don't want them to see me like this,

needing anything.

Because they wouldn't be weak.

They would just... ignore me,

or worse, laugh at me.

I don't want to look at their faces,

I don't want to be in the same world as them,

I just want them gone.

If that's how you feel, OK.

But you don't need to live where they live.

You don't need that.

Darling...

..let's just get out of here.

Who's gonna tell her?

You.

It's massive for me too.

I mean, I thought I got Trevor put down.

Turns out I did nothing.

And maybe I could have been...

..more understanding...

..how hard it's been for you

to carry all this shit around in your head.

On your own.

I'm really sorry that I couldn't take that from you.

Oh!

But you both left and I never did.

And it's been hard, you know,

always being the one that you don't want.

Hat!

You're the truest.

No, I'm not.

I'm very talented

at deceiving myself and everybody else.

Mm.

What happened to you?

If you can...

..talk about it.

A man at my mum's wake...

..while I was sleeping...

..sat on my feet and rubbed himself.

And it woke me up. I couldn't move.

And I think I keep putting myself in Tess's position.

Because I couldn't...

Because I couldn't do anything to help her either.

Oh, Mon.

I'm actually fine staring right at the fucked-up shit I've done.

The hardest part is seeing everything that might have been.

Are you gonna put your name on your book?

I can't even talk about my book.

They made me sign an NDA in order to give me my royalties.

I don't even want them.

It feels like blood money now.

No, it's your money.

You earned it.

And it could help pay for your dad's care.

Yeah.

Ohhh.

Hey, what's up?

Mum's making us go home.

She's not even letting me say goodbye to anybody.

Where's Tess?

She's packing the car right now.

OK, we're coming.

Whoa.

Yeah, I understand that.

Please.

Hey, what's he up to out there?

I know it's not protocol, but I need...

Dunno.

He better not be fucking around

with my share of the pub.

Well, he doesn't want to sell it.

It's not up to him, is it?

It's Ma's pub.

Hey.

You and me, we could... we could buy ourselves something else.

I gotta go. Gotta go see Lily.

Her mum's making her move back to London.

Oh. Shit, mate, why?

Well, Tess still hates our family.

She, uh...

..won't let me and Lil see each other.

Tess, eh?

Tess.

Fuck.

I just want to do something.

I want to do something right for you, for once.

Like what?

- Like protect you. - Mum!

Before I don't get another chance.

You're yourself, it's fine.

I don't want to be myself.

Has anybody seen my red bag?

Arthur.

There's a box for you.

From Amazon Prime.

I didn't order anything.

Oh, that's really going to fit on a plane.

- Oh, stop it! - I'd love to keep it, Helly.

Mum's scheming to keep you kids here.

Hey!

Hey.

This is gonna be hard to hear.

OK.

Maybe we should...

- OK. - Yeah.

What are you saying?

I'm saying that Joey was wearing a wire.

The cops are never gonna admit it.

They're gonna protect Joey

and that information at all costs.

So you're telling me they know what happened to me,

but I'm not allowed to know?

I'm telling you that Joey knows what happened to you.

Please talk to him.

He's not gonna tell Tess anything if he hasn't already.

Well, I told him I'd out him to Trevor

if he didn't tell her the truth.

Nothing anyone is ever gonna tell me

will make an iota of difference.

I will always carry it.

Should I not have told you what I saw?

It kills me sometimes, wondering.

I would have known.

I needed to know.

Well, now you should know the whole story.

So you can tell it.

For the both of us.

I'm with you.

Whatever happens.

But this has gone on too long.

"What do you remember?

"How every moment felt like forever...

"because you forgot there was a future or a past...

"just this glorious present.

"How you wanted to kiss her lips all night...

"and watch the sun rise together

"and go for an early swim,

"the cool, blue waves enveloping your skin.

"And then go on with your lives.

"Together.

"What do you remember?"

He's out the back.

He's got glasses.

Thanks, mate.

- No, no. He came back up. - Did he?

You may listen to this on the understanding

that it otherwise does not exist.

You won't be told how the device got into the room,

only that it was lawfully installed on site

and the local police did not know about it.

A warrant for the surveillance was obtained

only for the specific reason of capturing

a major drug importation crime

and for no other purpose.

When we heard the recording, we had a moral dilemma.

Kicked it upstairs to the boss who made the call

that unfortunately, it would have interfered

with a major prosecution

and potentially put our informant's life at risk.

Which, I'll add, is again the case.

You should know this is all his own doing,

against my better advice.

I need a drink.

Do not look at me.

I'll leave you to it.

I'm sorry.

You!

- You... - I'm sorry.

- I fuckin' hate you! - I'm sorry.

You left me!

You left me in there!

You could have stopped it!

- Joey, why didn't you stop him? - I'm sorry!

Why did you leave me there?

- Shh, shh, shh. - Why did you leave me there?!

Why did you leave me there?

I'm sorry.

Joey, why did you leave me?

It's kinda funny, I saw what, um...

Oh, yeah?

Here.

- Thank you. - Cheers.

Jase says you're leaving us.

Yeah.

It sucks.

At least I got two more days.

Your mum doesn't think much of us, then.

Oh, she just... She hates being back here.

I once heard her say she'd buy the whole town and burn it down.

Not very nice.

She must have done alright for herself, then?

If she can buy a whole town.

Both my mums work for banks.

Both mums?

Carpet munchers?

That's not very nice.

What about your dad?

I don't have one.

That's what they told you, is it?

Come on. Seriously?

She must have a dad.

Well, it's impossible otherwise, or last I heard.

Why don't you just fuckin' lay off, then?

I'm gonna go up and charge my phone.

Mate...

..you need to get another girlfriend.

You can't fuckin' say that shit.

And where the fuck have you been?

I guess someone put me in prison for a fuckin' long time.

And now that someone's gonna wish they hadn't.

Wanna go and kill somebody and put yourself in prison again?

Nah.

No, no, mate. Son.

I might just take away the thing they hold most precious to them.

Whatever they love the most,

you find it... and you ruin it.

Can you ring Vicki?

Uh, she's taken my mum out.

What do you want me to say?

Tell her to come here.

I'm gonna put on a cuppa.

Please stay with me.

Ah!

Do you need a lift?

I'm fine.

Can you walk on it?

Hey.

I'll sort you out, eh?

OK.

This way.

Good girl.

Hey, it's Lily. I don't use this. Text me.

I know that Joey got you out of there,

but he let those men get in his head.

He kept quiet.

I could hear them talking about me.

Makes me realise I wasn't there.

I always wondered if...

..maybe I'd...

..gone along with it...

..myself and forgotten.

Hey. Can I ring you back?

She's always leaving me.

What are you talking about?

Lily went out again to see Jason.

She said, "My motto is 'You must always go to the party'."

And then she turned off her phone.

Hey, have you seen Lily anywhere?

Nah, mate.

Well, she came up from the beach about 15 minutes ago

to charge her phone.

We were down there talking to Dad

and I haven't seen either of them since.

I thought we were going back up to the pub.

Why so antsy?

Jason will be wondering where I am.

Hey.

Come on. I just wanna ask you a question.

Come here.

- That's it. - OK.

Look at me.

Look at you?

Yeah.

Look me in the eyes.

I don't want to.

I just... just said, "Look at me."

How old are you?

16.

No. No, you're not.

You must be 20.

I'm not.

I don't believe ya.

You look just like Tess.

No. I look like my mother, Vicki.

Maybe you're better off without a father, then.

'Cause I would have been.

Stop!

Get away from her!

What did he do to you? You OK?

What are you, a dog?

You're the fuckin' animal.

Oh, you wanna do what Dad did to me, huh?

I'm not like you.

Nah?

You always belonged.

I'm not saying we're good. We're not fuckin' good.

Joey always has to be the good guy!

"My sweet, sweet Joey.

"My little angel."

Nah, you beat the sweetness outta me.

Had to get what I could.

Why don't you open your mouth and sing for me?

And I'll piss in it for old time's sake.

It's too fuckin' late, mate.

I already sang like your fuckin' canary.

You alright? What's happened?

I've gotta get out of here, OK?

Stop it! Oi, get off of him!

You, ya fuckin' snake!

Dad, stop! Get off him, alright?

- Get off! - Fuckin' coward!

Fuck off!

Oh, stop it!

Oh, God, no!

For God's sake!

Tell Ma what you did!

Tell her it was you.

Tell her it was you!

Fuck you.

Guess you're gonna have to kill me first, aren't ya?

Joey, please, stop it!

Or I'll lose you too!

You carry it.

You can carry it.

He needs to go.

Or I will.

Thank God.

Lily.

You OK?

What happened? Are you hurt?

I'm OK. I'm OK.

I'm sorry.

It's not your fault.

I feel like it is.

I know I'm...

..emotionally unavailable and that must hurt.

I don't wanna... scare you...

..about what's out there.

Or make you avoid people.

I don't want you to flinch when someone touches you or...

..comes up and tries to give you a hug.

I don't want you to be scared of sleeping.

I don't want you to...

..be pulling out your hair

or stopping eating

or vomiting up every bit of nutrition.

I don't want you to hate your skin.

Or yourself.

And I don't want you to avoid falling in love.

But I don't wanna lie to you either.

I just want to protect you from the world.

But I don't know how to do that...

..and...

..still let you be free.

I love you. I fucking love you.

I love you.

Take that.

And dinnae come back.

Will I have to be your bodyguard at school in Sydney?

Everybody's gonna fall in love with you again.

No, I'm gonna be your bodyguard, OK?

So they've picked all the stuff up for storage

and the tenants are coming in on Friday.

And you don't mind letting them in?

- I already said I would! - I know.

I know!

Ohh!

Oh, Mum.

I've never not lived here.

It'll all still be here when you get back.

But what if we leave and everything changes?

That's OK.

Mon?

Not like that!

What are you doing?

Is that you, Don?

I'm bringing the chair out for you, Dad.

Simone, it's Tess. You rang me.

Careful! Don't want you to break a hip.

Good thing we don't have too many hips.

Just take my arm. We can go slow.

Sometimes we just have to take the time, but we get there.

I was a hare. Now I'm a tortoise.

Listen to that wind, Dad.

"One part of you must remember

"but one part of you must forget.

"You have to write it with one hand

"while erasing it with the other.

"That's the only way to tell it,

"as though you have written it only for yourself.

"Your younger self.

"And for her.

"And for her."