Original subtitles

-It's nice that the bathroom's done. -Yes.

I'm excited to take a proper shower.

You need it, you dirty girl.

You're so dirty.

Dirty.

Hi, sweetie.

Why didn't you wake me up?

I didn't know you were awake. Go downstairs, I'll be right there.

-Where's dad? -I think he's downstairs.

-Are you eating croissants? -Yes.

There's a lot more downstairs.

Dad?

Boo!

Oh my god.

Don't you want a ride?

-We traumatized him. -Yes.

Where were we?

-I have to work. -Work can wait.

-Forget about work. Forget it. -I was in the middle of something.

This calls for penalty rounds tonight.

Coming!

Take a look. I've nearly reached 200 followers, which is really good,

but no one wants to buy my pictures.

-Do you chat with them? -Chat? With these people?

This guy will pay me 100 dollars to put a hamster on my kitty.

Tell him that's butter on bacon.

"You are hot. Give me rondastakk and a bunad crown." That I can do,

but then he starts sending me pictures of his willy.

-I'll get you a bunad crown. -No, I blocked him.

You blocked him? You need to take care of your customers!

Don't block them. Those guys are your fans. Your customers.

-Come on, he could be a rapist. -How do you know that?

He could be the world's nicest teddy bear.

You have to find a way to cooperate with them.

They can get pictures and videos for free anywhere.

Create a connection with them.

A bond. They need to feel your presence. That's what they pay for.

Create a dialogue.

I found this after my grandmother.

I thought I'd get people to pay to guess what I use these tools for.

If they guess correctly, they'll receive a naughty surprise.

I think we've got it.

-Hi. -Hello.

-What are you looking at? -An auction.

-Vintage? -Yes, shoes.

I'm trying to get a pair of Nike High Dunks from 1985.

Could you get me a pair?

-Yes, sure. -Thanks.

What size...

No one's responding to my competition.

I thought it was funny. Any suggestions?

I don't know, maybe try to chat with them?

It's easier to split them into two categories.

One for comfort and consolidation. One for admiration and validation.

-And the hamster guy needs comfort? -Yes, comfort him.

How?

How do you comfort your son?

How do your parents comfort you?

My mom died when I was five, and my dad isn't the comforting type.

That explains why you're so emotionally illiterate.

Why are you so in touch with your emotions, then?

My dad told me to imagine a pyramid of all the people in the world.

Normal, average people are at the bottom.

They do boring stuff. I don't know what they're doing.

If you're a bit different, you're higher up on the pyramid.

There are fewer people up there. It's lonely,

and it's hard to meet people who get you.

That makes you a bit... It's difficult to...

Just...

-Your dad seems lovely. - Your dad seems lovely.

I'm not mad at you. Just write something nice to them.

-Whatever. Can you do that? -Yes.

I know someone who'd like to buy those.

Alright, I'll try.

Do you have any cool shoes for women?

-For your mom? -No.

We've got these.

Or these. These are pretty cool, but a bit pricey.

-Are they for your girlfriend? -No.

I CAN BUY THESE

I'll take them.

-Thank you. -You're welcome.

-Bye. -Bye.

-Is it Aimon or Aiman? -Aimen Mahmood.

He'll be here soon. He didn't want to miss class.

What school does he go to?

-He's in 10th grade. -10th grade?

-He's really young. -Yes.

-Hello. -Good day.

-Hi. -Hey.

-Hi. -Aimen. Nice to meet you.

Aimen is very sorry for all of this.

Can you tell them how you made this song?

I made the song to encourage people to volunteer as a football coach.

Aimen volunteers for the U10 team, and loves his town district.

This means a lot to you personally. Right, Aimen?

I made the song to encourage people to play and have fun.

I have never heard your song before. I don't really know who you are.

That's bullshit, son. Sorry.

You know exactly who I am, and you've heard my song before.

The song was a symbol for Norwegian hip-hop in the 90's.

Regardless, none of our experts hear any significant similarities.

I wonder what kind of "experts" you have summoned.

Either you're in the hip-hop scene, and you know me and my song.

Or you're not in the hip-hop scene, but why did you make the song then?

We'll deal with this later.

It's just childish to lie and say he doesn't know who I am.

-I don't have patience for this. -We'll talk about it later.

-Okay? -Fine.

YOU'RE HOT

HI, STUD. WHAT'S UP?

ARE YOU A STUDENT?

Hey. I got these shoes...

Hey. I got these shoes right here.

They are very popular, so please let me know if you want them.

I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE THEM

You can rent a car through the company.

Yes, but I don't have a license.

Really?

-This one? -Yes.

Just like that. Right there. Hold on, you pressed something.

Just like that. Good.

-Yes! -Good. You're driving.

-There's a car... -Yes, just be a little...

Turn right here. Make a turn.

Can I post it? That's my train. I have to go.

Hey, do you think I'm emotionally illiterate?

No?

-Am I cold? -Not always.

-Your butt's cold. -Be serious.

I guess you're normal.

Hey?

-What about those penalty rounds? -I'm tired.

That's okay.

I WORK IN FINANCE AND TRAVEL A LOT

NICE

WHERE ARE YOU NOW?

BY THE POOL

SEND ME A PICTURE OF YOURSELF

HIHI, WHAT KIND OF PICTURE?

DO I GET TO DECIDE?

MAYBE?

When am I coming home? I don't know. By the end of the month.

Mondays are the cheapest travel days.

I can ask the neighbor to watch the house if it takes too much effort.

She'll probably be happy to swing by.

You're free to use your room, or even the living room.

I like to sleep in, you know.

There's one thing...

I was thinking that...

We've never talked about what it was like for you when mom died.

You were all alone.

I wasn't alone.

I had multiple agencies. You know how busy it was back then.

I always had some projects going on.

Brit isn't coming home. She wants to stay here in the heat.

I don't get it.

-Hello? -Hi, it's me.

Lars. It's nothing important, but...

I found something that belongs to you in my car.

Are you missing a hair tie?

-A hair tie? -I can give it to you on Monday.

I was granted the funding. Yesterday.

Really? Have you celebrated it yet?

I'm going to celebrate with my family today, at a Pakistani restaurant.

- It's the only one my dad trusts. -Tell your dad I said hi.

He doesn't know me, but... I mean, have fun.

I'll see you on Monday.

- Thank you. See you. - Bye.

What's happening?

-Wow! Cheers. -Did you win the lottery?

-That's one way of putting it. -Yes, it is.

Yes.

We're getting married.

-Again? -Congratulations.

-Thank you. -"Again". We're renewing our vows.

-I proposed. It was my idea. -Yes, it was.

-But it wasn't hard to convince you. -No.

-Cheers. -Cheers.

-Weddings are always fun. -Yes.

We were wondering if you wanted to be...

-...best man and maid of honor again. -Of course.

-Great. -That would mean a great deal to us.

Let me just get changed first.

What's that face?

-Nothing. -Stop it. Something's wrong.

-I'm just a bit surprised. -Why?

Because I'm renewing my vows with my husband and the father of my kids?

Yes.

Isn't it obvious? You know I've had a terrible time recently.

I want to do something romantic.

-Just go to therapy. -I'm sick of therapy.

I want a party. We deserve to have fun.

Hey. Of course I'm happy for you. I am.

Should I make you a sign that says "Pay to see my kitty" again?

-You don't have to... -No, don't you dare.

You can get whatever you want. A stripper, a karaoke party...

This is PM's song, the one that got plagiarized.

-Do you remember it? -Yes.

-This was 20 years ago. -I believe it.

Incredible. Just wait for the drop.

Oh my god, you guys need to get married. We can celebrate together.

We'll let the two of you shine.

Hi, Mons. Emilie couldn't make it. Too much homework.

-I could just swing by her. -She wanted the shoes immediately.

I can just take them.

Come on. I don't have all day.

Nice, thank you.

Emilie says that she's very thankful for the shoes,

And she asked me to give you a hug.

The trip to France could be our honeymoon.

And spend the wedding night together, too?

Yes, gangbang.

Mons?

Why does no one like me?

-A lot of people like you. -No, no one does.

I heard that...

Imagine a pyramid of all the people in the world.

The normal, boring people are at the bottom.

There are a lot of them. They can easily find each other.

But people who are different are higher up on the pyramid.

People with higher IQ.

The handsome ones with a better sense of humor.

They are higher up on the pyramid, where there's less space.

It won't be as easy to find someone who understands you.

I think you're very high up on that pyramid.

You're unique.

Maybe it won't be as easy for you to find someone. A partner.

But it's not impossible.

One day you'll find them, and they'll be an incredible person.

-You say that because you're drunk. -Yes, but I'm sure it'll turn around.

Before you know it.

It won't be like this forever.

-Why is there a party downstairs? -P�l and Kikki are getting married.

-Why, they are already married? -Don't ask.

They are leaving soon. I promise.

And hey.

Mom loves you.

And I like you.

I like you a lot.

Okay?

I wonder who's most excited to get married again.

Yes.

I'm glad you didn't tag along.

We don't need that type of validation to know we're doing okay.

No.

-I want to make nihari this weekend. -What's that?

The Pakistani national dish.

And some dhal. An easterly weekend.

I'll be right there.

I WANT TO SEE YOU BEING STUCK FROM THE FRONT AND THE BACK

WHAT DO I GET IN RETURN?

10.000 NOK

Subtitles: Marianne R. Antonsen LinQ Media Group