All language subtitles for Despicable Me 4

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[speaking Minionese]

[screams]

[chuckles]
[Bob sighs]

[electricity hums]

Ah. Hmm.

[screams]
[exclaims]

[chuckles] Stuart.

Illumination! [laughs]

["Double Life" playing]

♪ That's the question ♪

♪ Who will Gru be tonight? ♪

♪ That's the question ♪

♪ Hey, what are you hiding? ♪

♪ Whatcha doing
When you gone? ♪

♪ Nothing wrong being private ♪

♪ Make sure it ain't wrong ♪

♪ Your life, double-sided ♪

♪ Two-faced like coins ♪

♪ What side do I get? ♪

♪ Which side are you on? ♪

♪ So what have you done? ♪

♪ Some of your dirt
Has come to light ♪

♪ Why were you ♪

♪ Speeding up that hill
Until the brakes came off? ♪

♪ And someone saw you
In a fight ♪

♪ Am I right? ♪

♪ I know
You heard the rumors ♪

♪ You must get over to it
Right away ♪

♪ If anyone can do it ♪

♪ You gotta get there soon ♪

♪ It's not okay ♪

♪ You got cars to drive ♪

♪ Plenty jets to fly ♪

♪ When will you arrive? ♪

♪ You're running out of time ♪

♪ Don't you see that everything
Is on the line? ♪

♪ Am I right? ♪

♪ Who will you be tonight? ♪

♪ That's the question ♪

♪ Who will Gru be tonight? ♪

♪ That's the question ♪

♪ The thrill
Of the double life ♪

- [car alarm chirps]
- [tires screech]

[grunting]

[laughs]

Phil, Ron, Ralph! Stay focused.

Uh. Uh, okay, okay.

[Ralph] Hmm.

Okay, our target
is Maxime Le Mal,

one of the Anti-Villain League's
most wanted.

And, trust me, a real jerk.

So, there is no room
for error. Got it?

Sí, boss.

[inhales]

[speaking Minionese]

["Word Up" playing]

Phil, Ron!

[speaking Minionese, laughs]

[speaking Minionese]

[exclaims]

[speaking Minionese] Ah.

[grunting]
Ah!

[speaking Minionese, muffled]

[person] Kids can be so cruel,
but Maxime can be even crueler.

[laughing]

Ho, ho, ho.
Well, well, well.

Look who it is.

If it isn't Gru-ser the Loser.

Well, if it isn't Maxime Le Mal.
You look--

Magnificent? Yes, I know.

What did you think, huh?

I was going to look
like a bald loser
with a dad bod?

Oops. Looks like
you beat me to it, no?

[crowd murmuring, gasping]

Ooh.
Ooh!

Oh.

It's good to laugh, no?

[chuckles]

Anyway, you remember
my girlfriend, Valentina?

She was captain of
the Femme Fatale cheer squad,

and the most popular girl
at school, huh?

I remember.

Good to see you, Valentina.

[scoffs]
[dog growls]

[chuckles] What happened, Gru?

All your dreams of becoming
a famous villain,
they go poof-poof, huh?

Well, I don't know if you know,

but I did manage
to steal the moon.

Really?

You mean, that moon?

[laughs]

[feedback whines]
[principal] Is this on?

Can I have
everyone's attention, please?

Good evening and welcome,
Lycée Pas Bon alumni.

Now, we're going to
kick off the festivities

by announcing the winner
of our most coveted award,

The Golden Alumni.

[crowd cheers]

And so, without further ado,

the winner of this year's
Golden Alumni is, uh...

Oh, my favorite student.

Maxime Le Mal.

What?
Are you kidding me?
Thank you. Thank you.

Merci. Merci beaucoup.

No, you don't have to.

[groans]

["Unbelievable" plays]

[laughs]

Oh, thank you. Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm sure you all know

that I have something
very big in the works.

Now, some of you laughed at
my childhood obsession
with cockroaches.

But I quickly learned
that they are
a miracle of evolution.

[crowd murmuring]

And I have found a way
to harness the strength

and the speed and the--
What is the word?

"Unsquishability" of the most
powerful creature on the planet.

Which makes me
indestructible and unstoppable!

Maxime! Maxime! Maxime!

Behold the power
of the cockroach!

[grunts]

[crowd gasping]

[gasps]

[Maxime laughs]

[imitating Maxime]

[exclaiming, speaking Minionese]

So, my sad little friend,
what do you say about that, huh?

Well, I'd say you're...

under arrest,
courtesy of
the Anti-Villain League.

Oh... [chuckles]
...I don't think so, mon ami.

Oh, yeah? Goop grenade!

[yelps]

[grunts]

No!

[chuckles] Hi-yah!

Move in.

[agent 1] AVL!
[agent 2] Everybody, freeze!

- [agent 3] Stay where you are.
- [agent 4] Move!

Ha!

[agent 5] Stay there!

Freeze!

Gotcha!

No, no, no! No!

This is not happening!

C'est impossible. [grunts]

Get your hands off of me!

- I am commanding you
to let me go.
- [chuckles]

So long, Maxime!

Who's the loser now?

[both] Loser, loser, loser!

[Maxime screams]

This is not over!

You won't always
have the AVL

to fight your battles,
you coward!

Mark my words!
I will exterminate you!

[laughing]

[chuckles] Not, uh--
Not scary at all. [chuckles]

[birds chirping]

[Lucky bleats]

Hello, everybody!

[Edith] Gru, what's up?
[Agnes] Yay, Gru!

Hey, Gru.
I'm so happy
you're here!

What's shaking
in the Gru house?

Look what I taught Lucky.

- Lucky, sit.
- [bleats]

[farts, bleats]

Aw, Lucky, I said sit.

[bleats]
[giggles]

Well, it is only
his first lesson.

Uh, maybe we practice
outside from now on.

There's my favorite husband!

Did you remember
to get the milk?

Well, yes. They had a few kinds.

They got the almond milk,
soy milk, hemp milk,

oat milk, goat milk,
chocolate milk, half-and-half,

powdered, and of magnesia.

What about regular milk?

No, they don't
make that anymore.

Oh!

Wait a minute.

[Agnes giggles]
One, two, three girls.

One wife.

Something is missing.
[children giggle]

No, I think
that's all of us. Yeah.

You know what?
I keep forgetting...

this guy!
[gurgles]

Oh, ho, ho! There's my boy!

There he is!

Ah, coochy, coochy, coochy.

Where is Daddy's hug? [gasps]

Oh, looks like
somebody's a little cranky!

Behind that sourpuss,
I know you love your dada!

Go on, say it.

Dada. Dada.

Yes, of course
he loves you! He just--
[babbles]

He just doesn't show it
on his face,

or with his body language.

Right, Gru Jr? Come on.

Show Daddy how much
you love him.

Oh, I know what
will make you happy!

Mmm, Bahama Medley!

[cries]

No? It's from The Bahamas.

All of them. Look.

Oh, so yummy!

Mmm, mmm, mmm.

[coughs, gags]

Oh, that really tastes
like The Bahamas!

See? He loves his daddy!

He's sharing. [chuckles]

[laughing]

Phil, Ralph, Ron!

["Hot for Teacher" plays]
Hup, hup, hup!

Hup!

Pistachio. Yeah, cashew.

[giggles]

[speaking Minionese]

Gotcha!

[speaking Minionese]

[speaking Minionese]

[speaking Minionese]

Thanks, guys.

[doorbell rings]

Ramsbottom?

[snickers] Bottom.

I need a word with you both.
Sure, but what--

I'm sorry.
There's no time for chitchat.

Maxime Le Mal has sent you
a message from prison.

Bonjour, Gru.

I know you can hear me,
so hear this.

You think you can humiliate me
and get away with it? Yes?

But, no!

When I break out of prison,
I'm coming for my revenge, Gru!

But this time,
I won't go so easy on you!
[laughs]

And I know where you live!

So you better sleep
with one eye open,
because you can't hide from me!

Sweet dreams, Gru-ser!

[both gasp]

Don't worry.
He can't get out of there.

It's a maximum security prison.

Ah, yes, well, um...
[clears throat]

...he escaped yesterday.

What?

Leave our home?

Oh, no. You're gonna love it.

It's called "the safe house,"

and it's fun, and it's safe,
and it's fantastic
and we're going.

Yeah, you'll get a new room,
go to a new school.

It'll be fun, right?

Everything's gonna be new.
We love new!

What about all my friends?

You'll make new friends.

Probably better ones.

[groans]

[muffled] I can't believe this.

Yes, yes. Lot of emotions.
Big life change.

Less talking, more walking.

Come on, here we go.

[Lucky bleats]

[sniffles] I'm sorry
you can't go with us, Lucky.

[bleats]

Take good care of him.

Be good, Lucky!

Don't forget
to practice your tricks!

[sighs]

We'll arrive at
the AVL safe house
in a few hours.

Mayflower is a lovely town.

A lovely, safe, boring town.

Trust me,
it is for the best, Gru.

And what about Grandma
and Uncle Dru?

I'm sorry. No one can know
of your whereabouts,
not even family.

Bingo!
There's your silver lining.

And you promise
to take care of
the other Minions?

They'll be safe and sound
at AVL Headquarters.

I have big plans for them.

[scoffs] Good luck with that.

["BOOMBAYAH" playing]

[Minions clamoring, laughing]

[grumbles] That is it!

[tires screech]

[air brakes hiss]

Quiet!

You are now on Carl's bus.

And Carl is
a longtime AVL employee

whose retirement benefits
are almost vested.

So, while on Carl's bus,
you follow Carl's rules.

No shenanigans,
no antics and no tomfoolery.

Tom?
[blows raspberry]

So this ends now.

Or you're gonna see
a side of Carl
you do not wanna see.

Do I make myself clear? [grunts]

[Minion] Bazooka!
[Minions laughing]

[party horns blaring]

[clamoring]
[Carl]
This won't st-- [groans]

Carl does not like this!

Watch your hands.
What are you doing?
Who's pinching?

No, no!

[Silas] Here we are.
The town of Mayflower.

This safe house has been used
to protect our agents
for decades now.

Whoa, look at that place.

[Lucy] Wow, look at these lawns.
The flowers.

- [chuckling] Whoa! That is cool.
- Are we really gonna live here?

[gasps]
Look at that fountain.
Whoa!

[Edith] Awesome.

[snoring]
[Edith] Ooh, ooh, ooh,
is that one ours?

Hey, hey.

[Edith] Whoa, look at that.
[Agnes] Ooh, that's pretty.

[Lucy] I could get used to this.

[snorts]

[both laugh]

[Agnes] Ooh, it looks like
a princess lives there.

And here it is.

Your new home.

[bird squawks]

Oh.

Hmm, no fountain.

I'm sure
it's gonna be great.

Come on.

Silas says that there is
a pool in the back.

That'll be fun, huh?

Wow, it's so cold
and uninviting.
[Agnes giggles]

But in a homey
kind of way.
What?

Yes, everything here
is AVL standard.

What it lacks in comfort,
it more than makes up for
in functionality.

There's even
a fully automated lockdown mode.

Isn't that fun?

Ooh, full lockdown mode.
[chuckles]

Yay.

[gasps]
It has a vending machine.
Oh! [chuckles]

I love this place!

Ooh. [speaks Minionese]

[screams]

[speaks Minionese]

Eh, eh. [speaks Minionese]

[groaning]
[laughing]

This will be great.

All right,
now down to business.

For your own safety,
you'll all be assuming
new identities.

New identities?
Is that really necessary?

It's not up for debate, Gru.

Now, you are
a solar panel salesman.

Lucy, you're a hairstylist
at an upscale salon.

A hairstylist? Yes, jackpot!

Silas, did you choose that
because you knew
I cut my own hair,

and that I would
totally rock at this?

No.

"Chet Cunningham."

Ah, that's got
a nice ring to it.

Girls.

Cool. I'm Blair.

"Britney"?

My name is Bree?

Oh, come on.
There are worse names than Bree.

Yeah, like Blanche.

[laughs] Yes, Margo.

Blanche? Ugh,
that is a terrible name.
[laughs]

Imagine being named Blanche.
[chuckles]

Truly, I cannot think
of a worse--

My name's Blanche, isn't it?

Yep.
[children giggle]

Well, I'll get used to it.

Well, why don't you girls go
and pick out your rooms

while I have a word
with your parents?
[speaking Minionese]

Yes, I didn't want
to frighten the girls,

but it is absolutely crucial
you keep your true identities
under wraps.

Gru, you're going to have to try
to not be so "Gru-ish."

What is that supposed to mean?

Well, I'm just saying
you tend to stand out
in a crowd, that's all.

You know... [stammers]
...like the way you're always
cranky and irritable.

And how you make things
a bit awkward
for everyone around you.

You do do that. [chuckles]
I mean, you know--

Okay, enough.

I don't make people
awkward or uncomfortable.

I'm very comforting.

Like a nice meat loaf.

I'm pretty delicious.

This is not awkward.
You're the ones
who are making it awkward.

Gru, you have to blend in.

Your family's lives
are at stake.

You understand?

Of course, yes.
Fully understand.
[giggles]

We would do anything
to keep our family safe. Yeah.

Right, well, I'll be in contact
when this is all over.

Until then,
capturing Maxime Le Mal
is our top priority.

Stay safe.

[door closes]

You know what, Gru,
maybe this isn't so bad.

We need a break
from chasing down villains
and dangerous missions, right?

We can actually be
a normal family for once.

[gasps] And I can finally spend
some real bonding time
with the baby.

It's gonna be great.
Right, pal?

Who's got your nose?
Who's got--

He's got my nose.
[gurgles]

Quite the grip there.
That kid is strong.

[groans]

Ah.

[humming]

[babbles]

[exclaims]

[shouting]

[grunts]

["Freedom" playing]

♪ Let's be free, baby
And cruise the world ♪

♪ Are you with it, girl? ♪

♪ I'm free to do what I want ♪

♪ And have a good time ♪

[laughing]

Thank you.
Look at everyone. Yes.

We are having
a good time, right?

[singing]
♪ I'm free to do what I want ♪

♪ And have a good time ♪

Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!

[cheering]
Whoo-hoo!

[laughs]
No, I love you. [kisses]

Thank you, my beautiful army.

Maxime's back, baby. [laughs]

And a special merci beaucoup
to everyone who helped me
break out of AVL prison.

Todd and Linda, where are you?
Where are you? Yes.

For distracting the guards.

Oh, très magnifique.
Yeah!

Now, silence!

We must make Gru suffer
for arresting me.

[chuckles]

And what better way

than to take away from him
his precious little baby.

[cockroaches gasp]
I want to take that baby.
[laughs]

Whoa.

[whistles]
Yeah!

Oh, Maxime.

No, no. Wait, wait. Not Maxime.

What if I start going by
"Cockroach Man," huh?

Little on the nose,
but it is very clear.

It's good, no?
Ugh.

I am not calling you
that stupid name,
but I love this evil plan.

Well, Gru has it coming.

He humiliated me
in front of the whole school.

I had my trophy and everything.

But now the game begins.
[cockroach babbles]

He runs and hides
like the mouse,
and we find him like the cat.

Game on.

[Ron giggling]

[speaking Minionese]
[giggles]

- [speaking Minionese]
- [giggles]

[screams]

[chuckles]

Okay, we've got Chet's famous,
super cheesy scrambled eggs.

And Blanche's famous bacon
that spells your name.

- Here you go, Britney.
- [burbles]

Wait, I can't say
my name is Britney.

That would be a lie.

Yes.

But we aren't
"stupposed" to lie.

Don't think of it as lying.

Think of it
as high-stakes pretending.

Well, I'm not going to.

Bah, it's just
a little white lie.

No.

Agnes, as your father,

I command you to lie.

No.

- Yes, lie.
- Mm-mmm.

You are walking
on thin ice, little lady.

Hmm!

[exclaims, chews]

Why can't you be more
like your sister Edith?

She lies all the time.

No, I don't.

See? See? She's lying right now.

Beautifully, I might add.

[Lucy] Okay, you guys.

This is our first big day
in Mayflower,

and I say
we make it a great one.

Right, Chet Jr?
[giggles]

Whoo-hoo, Mayflower. Yes!
Whoo-hoo. [chuckles]

We're gonna be late for karate.

And you have to
get Margo to school.
Ah.

It's gonna be awesome.
Ugh. Yay.

Hey, you just have to
put yourself out there,

and I promise Mayflower
will love Chet Cunningham.

Well, they're gonna love him
just as much as I do.

And you, little man,
are gonna have so much fun
with your daddy today.

[babbles]

Yep, just you and Dada.

Come on, say it. Dada.

Dada.

[blows raspberry]

Gonna be a fun day.

[breathes deeply]

["Hot for Teacher" plays]
Hup, hup, hup!

Hup, hup, hup, hup!

Buddies.

Okay.

[speaks Minionese]

[exclaims, giggles]

Thanks a lot, guys.
Ah, ha-ha, buddy.

[speaking Minionese]
...check ya.

[giggles]

All right. Thanks, hon.

Bye.
Bye.

Look, Margo, neighbors.

Hello!

Hmm?

Come on.

You got this, Chet.

[groans]

I'm your new neighbor,
Chet Cunningham.

Uh-huh. Perry Prescott.

So, what, uh, brings you
to the neighborhood, Chet?

Well, uh...

[gasps] Solar panels. That's it.
I sell solar panels.

Have you joined
the solar revolution?

Yeah, no.

Uh, I think I'm good.

Good to know.

So, what do you do, Perry?

I own Prescott Motors.

The largest auto dealer
in the state.

Wow, that's impressive.

This is my daughter Margo.

Bree, Dad.

Ah, yes. Yes. Did I say "Margo"?

It's funny,
because I was thinking--

I was thinking about a fish
I once had as a pet,
named Margo.

Who lived in the pond
and then died.

Uh.

Anyway, I, uh--

I'm about to take Bree
to school for her first day.

Yeah, I was about to take Poppy
to school, so...

Poppy. Hello, Poppy.

That's a fun name to say.

You want to carpool with us?

No.

You could be friends
with Bree.

Right, Bree?

You don't have any friends.

[chuckles]

Well, love to chitchat, Chet,
but she's got school,

and I'm meeting some pals
over at the country club, so...

Ooh, country club.
That sounds like a lot of fun.

If I were ever invited
to a country club,
I am sure that I would love it.

Yeah, well,
we really have to get going,
so nice meeting you, Chet.

["I'm Too Sexy" plays on stereo]

Okay, cool.
Any time you want to hang out,
just hit me up with a text.

He's gonna text me.

That was painful.

You'll see. By lunchtime,

you will have forgotten
all about
your old, lousy friends.

Mmm, not so sure about that.

[students chattering, giggling]
Right? Oh, my gosh.

Not my problem, bro.

[sighs]
Hey, honey,
you got this.

You're smart.

You're funny.

What's there
to worry about, right?

They're gonna love you.

Thanks, Gru.

[Gru] Bye-bye.

Oh, please let them love you.

[sighs]

Ooh!

Hey, Poppy.

Eh...

[horn honks]
[screams]

Come on. Hey. Move it!

Sorry. My bad.
I'm going. All right.

I'm going.

Ooh, glassos.

- [shouts]
- [screams]

[groans]

[straining]
[barking]

[whimpers]

[chuckles, speaks Minionese]

[leash snaps]
[screams]

[barking]
No, no, no. Sit. Sit.

No.

[speaks Minionese]

[screams, speaks Minionese]

[speaking Minionese, muffled]

All right, gentlemen.

Fall in.

Some of you may be wondering
why you're here.

Uh, sí.

As you may or may not know,

I was recently
called out of retirement

to head up the AVL's
new top-secret initiative

to take down Maxime Le Mal.

And that's where you come in.

We need volunteers.

Me! Me! Me!

We are looking for
the strong, the mighty...

Ooh. [groans]

...the fearless.
Uh, nope.

We need the best of the best.

So, who's it going to be?
[chuckles]

Yes, nice work, gentlemen.

[speaking Minionese]

[laughing]

The AVL is known for
cutting-edge weapons
and vehicles,

but now we are developing
cutting-edge agents.

And I can think of
no better guinea pigs than you.

Guinea pigs!
[cheering]

[blows raspberry]

You will be the first
to test our super serum.

Designed to transform you
into elite agents

with powers and abilities
far beyond those of mortal men.

Or you might just explode.

We don't really know.

Eh? Huh? [shouts]

[Minions screaming]
Oh, ah.

Hey.

[Minions struggling]

[yodels, growls]

[chuckles]

[chews, crunches]

[speaking Minionese]
[metal clanging]

[pops]

[giggles]

[growling]

Ladies and gentlemen,
I give you the Mega Minions.

[cheering]

[bell rings]

Cool.

Aw, you guys look adorable.

And-- And really tough
and scary.

I'll look even better
when I have a black belt.
Hi-yah!

Ooh, ooh!
I'm gonna break a brick
with my head.

That's the spirit. Oh!
[gong sounds]

Oh, okay. Now, go have fun
while I'm at work.

Blair and Britney.
Right?
Mmm.

We will.

Okay. Bye, Mom.

[Lucy] Bye.

Got ya.
[giggling]

Hi-yah!

Circle up, people.

[students giggling]

[grunting]

Show respect for your sensei.

[students]
Yes, Sensei O'Sullivan.

Hai!

You, Moscovitch,
didn't I tell you
to cut that hair?

You look like a sheepdog.

Sorry, Sensei.

[whimpers, giggles]

Now, we have
two new students today
ready to begin their journey--

Hi-yah! To awesomeness.

- You, tiny girl.
- [gasps]

Step forward
and tell us your name.

Um...

It's Britney.

Uh, m-my name?

I can't.

There's no "can't" in karate.

Ten push-ups after class!

Hey, that's not fair.

Huh! Ha! You better not be
talking back to your sensei.

Hi-yah! [karate yell]

Now, are you ready
to tell us your name
and participate?

Mmm.

I guess not.

Then why don't you go sit
in the corner of
disgrace and reflection

and think about
what kind of person
you wanna be?

Now, am I gonna get
any trouble from you?

Yeah, probably.

Excuse me?
[bones pop]

If you think
I'm above fighting children,

you picked the wrong dojo.

[grunting]

Hi-yah, hi-yah, hi-yah!
Hi-yah!

[karate yell]
Ha!

[sobs, groans]

[all gasp]

[children cheer] Yeah!

That was for my sister.

[O'Sullivan screams]

You broke my pinkie toe.

[chuckles]
That's gonna be
a lot of push-ups.

[Lucy] Okay,
then put this over here,
then the hair gel.

Hair spray.
Oh, uh,
Mrs. Cunningham?

Oh! Uh, yeah. [stammers] Hi.

I have to say,
this is quite a résumé.

Well, what can I say?

I'm good at what I do.
[chuckles]

Well, you are
exactly what we need here.

Lot of vain, demanding divas
in this town.

[both chuckle]

I have a hair emergency, people.

Where's what's-her-name?

Remy? Rhonda?

Oh, Melora, I'm so sorry.

Rachel's on maternity leave.

What? Oh, that is unacceptable.

But you are in luck,
because Blanche here
is fantastic.

Perfect. I'll be in my chair.

Okay, kiddo, you're up.

[chuckles]

["Dynamite" plays]

So, Melora,
what are we thinking?

What if we just wet the hair
and let it dry in the air?

Let nature do its thang...
[chuckles] ...you know?

No, no, no, no.
That style is dead to me.

It's-It's time
for a whole new Melora.

I want this.

Wow. [chuckles]

Wow. Um...

Okay, let's start with color?

Yes, color.
Because that's what
you start with.

Little of this.

Some of that.

Ooh, that's pretty.

This isn't so hard.

[sizzling]

Uh...

What?

[sniffs] Should it be smoking?

Yes. Uh-huh.

Smoking means it's working.

[gasps]

[shouts]

[whimpers]
What's going on?

Perfect. No one panic.

Call 911.

[fire alarm ringing]

Quickly, quickly.

Oh... [chuckles]
...wonder where they're going.

[Maxime laughing]

Voilà! My latest creation.

All of my transformation powers
in a handheld design, huh?

Ay! I love it.

Oh, and look at
the little antenna.
That's so cute.

It's not supposed
to be cute. No.

I'm going for intimidating.
Terrifying, even.

Now, all I have to do is find
that walking boiled potato,

and his baby is mine.
[laughs]

Check this out.
[alarm beeps]

Whoa!

[barking]

[cackles]

No, I kid you not.
I'm being serious-- Whoa!

Whoa!

[shutter clicks]

[Maxime cackles]

Oh, this is going to be so good.

[sighs]

- Okay, Daddy is
officially exhausted.
- [gurgles]

I changed your diaper.

I've got your bottle,
your Binky,
and here are your balloons.

[giggles]
There you go.
You like those, right?

All right.
A little bit of me time.

[breathes deeply, exhales]

[balloon pops]
Ah!

[groans]

[grunts]

[horn honks]
[shouts]

[groans]

[growls]

[whines]

[groans]

Someone put a glitter bomb
in my locker. Ugh.

Teenagers are the worst.

Yeah. Babies are
no picnic either.

[giggles]

[balloon pops]
[Gru] Ah!

Junior!

[Ralph snoring]

[shushes, speaks Minionese]

Ah, okay. Okay.
[grunts]

- [shushes]
- Dua Lipa prosciutto.

[thuds]
[exclaims]

[laughing]

[speaks Minionese]

[speaks Minionese]
Fire in the bowl.

[both laugh]

Good night, Ralph.

[scatting]

♪ Taking out the trash
'Cause I'm an awesome dad ♪

♪ And the baby
Finally went to sleep ♪

[scatting, humming]

[person] Hello, Gru.

Hello. Hey! What the...

Oh, hello, Poppy.
Did you say something?

Wha-- Uh... [stammers]
...my name's Chet, by the way.

Chet Cunningham.

Gru? What does that even mean?
[chuckles]

It means you're bad at lying.

Hey. That's not nice.

Ever hear of
respecting your elders?

I don't respect boomers.

I just mock them.

Ah, ha, ha. Is that, like,
a joke you read on the Web?

Wow. "The Web"? How old are you?

Well, old enough to know
that you are a rotten little--
[grunts]

Huh?

You better watch yourself.

[gasps] Ooh-hoo. Oof.

You used to be a master villain.

[scoffs] That's not me.
I don't even see a resemblance.

Clearly, you have the wrong guy,
as I sell, mmm, solar panels.

Oh, don't worry.
I'm not gonna expose you.

Because you're gonna
help me pull a heist.

We start planning tomorrow.

You want to pull a heist?
[chuckles]

Listen, kid,
I'm not going to--

No. You listen, old man.

Ow.
I own you.

And I promise,
you do not want to cross me.

Okay. [stammers] All right.

But tomorrow is
not really good timing.

Bummer for you.

Because this is happening.

Unless you want the whole world
to know exactly who you are...

Gru.

[gasps] She is terrifying.

[hums]

[exclaims, speaks Minionese]

[Minions cheer]

[speaking Minionese]

Ow!
Ooh!

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

[speaking Minionese] ...five!

[chuckles]

[screams]

Oh! [speaks Minionese]

- [shutter clicks]
- [screams]

[microwave pings]
Yay!

Aw. [speaks Minionese]

[Mega Mel] Hey, Jiminy!

No problemo.

[shouts]

[screams]

[screaming]

[screaming]

Oh, phew. [speaks Minionese]

Oy.
[laughs]

[growls]

[speaking Minionese]

All right, all right.
Settle down.

Settle down!

Thank you.

It's time to get you out
for some real-world training.

Liberty.

And, if you do well out there,

you'll be
the AVL's new secret weapon.

Pomodoro!

Pomodoro!

[Minion] Ouch.

I'm quite sure
I won't regret this.

No.
The painters canceled.
Uh-huh.

True story.
Wow.

I don't know
what is the deal with--

[Gru] Morning, neighbors.

Hey there!

Still waiting on
that invite, Perry.

Ugh.
Oh!

No. No, no.
Yoo-hoo!

Patsy!
[Patsy] Oh, neighbors.

Oh, Patsy.

Hi there.
I'm Perry's wife, Patsy.

Oh! I'm Blanche.
And this is Chet.

Hi. So, I look over here
and I see you...
[laughs]

...and I have
one of my brilliant ideas.

Perry needs a fourth
for tennis tomorrow.

Oh, honey.

[chuckles] I don't know.

He doesn't seem like
much of a tennis guy.

Much of a tennis guy?
I'm too much of a tennis guy.

I'm Mr. Tennis.

It's my favorite
of all the sports games.

With the racket
and with the balls.
So yellow and fuzzy.

[groans, grunts]

Oh, then we're all set.

See you two
at the club tomorrow.

Toodle-oo!

Okay. Toodle-oo
to you two too. [laughs]

So, you-- you play tennis?

Yes. Yes. I play tennis.

I'm pretty fantastic actually.

Well, at least
I was at summer camp.

Wow. That's great.
Here you go. [kisses]

- Okay, bye.
- [fusses]

Have fun!

There you go.

Okay.

[grunts] Huh?
[giggles]

What the...

[exclaims]

[groans]

Gru.

You can't hide from me, Gru.

Ay! My back is killing me.

How long is this gonna take?

It will take
as long as it takes.

Mark my words, Gru will not win.

This won't be like
the ninth-grade talent show.

Ay, again with this.

Yes, again.
It was a pivotal moment.

Why can't you indulge me?

[groans]
[sighs]

It was the night
of the big show.
[groans]

[Maxime]
I had practiced for weeks,

perfecting a number that would
blow my classmates away.

♪ Karma, karma
Karma, karma chameleon ♪

[Maxime] I was about
to go on when...

What? Wh-- Oh!
...I heard it.

♪ Karma, karma
Karma, karma chameleon ♪

There was that little jerk
doing my big number.

[young Gru] ♪ You come and go ♪

He ruined everything.

I couldn't go on after him.
I would have looked like a fool.

Like I was copying him.

Maybe it was just a coincidence.

That was a very popular song.

Oh, no, no, no, no. He knew.

He did it on purpose.

He reveled in
humiliating me. Oh!
[alarm beeps]

What now?

[sighs] We're low on fuel.

It's always something.

Look, I can never focus
on just being evil. [groans]

Okay. Pull over.

[barking]

[whimpers]

[coughs]

Okay, let's see.

Regular unleaded. Oh.

Wow. It is expensive, no?

Okay. Insert card
and remove rapidly.
[card reader beeps]

"Card not read"?

- [beeps]
- Oh, come on.

Did you pull it out rapidly?

Yes. Yes. Very rapidly.

[beeping]
Come--

[grunting]

[beeps]
[shouts]

Ay, get me a slushy.
It's my cheat day.

Hey, you. Your stupid machine
won't read my card.

Did you remove it rapidly?

Yes.
[sighs]

Well, sometimes it's too rapid.
You should probably try again.

[growls] I don't have
time for this.

Okay. Whoa!

I'm trying to
destroy my arch nemesis!

Now, give me 900 gallons
on pump four, you idiot.

Whoa! Please, don't hurt me.

Oh, I'm not going to hurt you.

[chuckles]

Wha--

[exclaims]

[muttering]

Oh! Look at you!

Ha, ha! Much better.

Now, get me a purple slushy!

[groans, growls]

I'm not paying for that,
just so you know. So there.

[chuckles] I know. I'm so bad.

[laughs]
[mutters]

[bell rings]

Hmm. Okay, why don't you guys
pick out a healthy cereal?

[gasps] This is
Lucky's favorite cereal.

You don't think he'll forget me?

Do you?

Oh, sweetheart,
that's impossible.

You play with Lucky
and dress him up.

And you guys have your podcast.

There is no way in this world
he could ever forget
his best friend.

[giggles] Thanks, Mom.

Oh, lookit!

This one has extra marshmallows.

Double-frosted choco clusters.

[Agnes] Yeah.
Yeah.
Let's go with those.

All right. What else do we need?

[gasps]

[gasps] Oh, no.

Nobody see. Nobody notice.
Nobody notice.

[Agnes exclaims]

[exhales]

[Edith] What's wrong?
Huh?

Oh, nothing. Just, uh... Ooh.

Stretching before
we hit the aisles.

Shopping is the number one
cause of pulled hamstrings.

Huh. You probably
didn't know that.
[laughs]

Okay, all stretched. Let's go.

Quickly. Quick, quick, quick.

[sighs] Okay.
Coast is clear-- [screams]

[grunts] Oh.

[gasps] You.

[chuckles]
[employee sighs]

You did this to me, you fraud.

Come on, girls.

Clean up on aisle nine!

I've always wanted to say that.
Just hide over here.

What does that lady want?

Lady? I didn't see a lady.

[gasps] Lady!

Come on. Let's go.

Faster!
Whoa!

You're no hairdresser.

[Lucy whimpers]

I'm on to you! Get back here.

I gotta get out of here.

- [screams]
- [shouts]

Okay.

[breathing heavily]

[screams]

[wails]

Come back here.

Whoa-ho-ho. [giggling]

Hey! No, no, no, no!

- You can't just--
- Open, open, open!

Whoa!

Let's go!

[Melora shrieks]

Stop! Come here, you!

[panting]

[sobbing]

Whew. That was a close one.

Always a fun time
when you go shopping with Mom.

- Yeah! I feel so alive!
- Best shopping trip ever!

[meows]

["Through the Fire and Flames"
plays]

[meowing]

[music stops]

[announcer on game] Perfecto.
[meows]

[Gru] Poppy!

[gasps]
Poppy!

[meows]

I don't see her, Junior.

Look up, genius.

Huh? [groans]
[Poppy] You're late.

How do I get up there?

Use the trampoline.

Huh?

[sighs]

Here we go.

[panting]

[grunting]

[Junior giggles]

[breathing heavily]

[groans]

Ow, ow, ow, ah, ow!

[groans, strains]

[Poppy] It is I,

- Poppy Prescott, villainess.
- [meows]

Have a seat, Gru.

All right, I'll sit-- Ah!

Okay. Why am I here?

Because, like you,
I was born to be bad.

And now, it's time to discuss
our big heist.

Pfft, heist. Please.
You're just a child.

All great villains start young.

Didn't you steal
the Crown Jewels
when you were 12?

I was a lot younger than that.

And, no offense,
but you're not me.

Oh, I plan on being
a lot better than you.

Check this out.

Hey, is that my old school?

Bingo.

Which I have expertly modeled

with glue and Popsicle sticks.

And it's where we are going
to steal the school mascot.

You want to steal Lenny?

Exactly.

Lycée Pas Bon
has always been my dream school.

And this heist will
look so great on
my villain transcripts.

That is a terrible idea.

Have you ever even seen
a honey badger?

They are vicious
little monsters.

They literally eat bees
and cobras for breakfast.

Honey badger don't care.

No way. No way am I helping you.

Well, that's the thing
with blackmail,

you kinda have no choice.

[Junior giggles]

[speaking Minionese]

Ha, ha! [speaking Minionese]

Okay. [speaking Minionese]

[sirens wailing]

Oh. Ah. Uh...

Tim! Tim.

[speaking Minionese] Go, go, go!

[speaking Minionese]

Chihuahua. [groans]

[gunshots]
[screaming in distance]

[speaking Minionese]

[speaking Minionese] No!

[speaking Minionese]

Suppository!

[laughing]

Give it!

Hey! Police!

No problemo!

Ooh.

Uh, piña colada.

[cord snaps]
[metal groans]

[window cleaner screams]

Help!

[speaking Minionese]

Hola.

Please. Can you help me?

Oh, sí, sí.

[singing in Minionese]

Ah. [splutters]
Hey! All is good. Ciao!

[meows]

[owner] Smudge!
Smudge, come down.
Hey! [speaking Minionese]

El gato.

Thank you. Thank you.

Ooh, smooch.

Smoochy.

[straining]

Help!

Bazooka!

[grunting]

[straining]

[sighs]
[passengers cheering]

[Mega Tim screams]
[crash]

Ah. Eh. [chuckles]

Hey, hey.

[speaking Minionese]

Yeah!

[belches]

[car alarms sounding]
[people grunting]

[speaking Minionese]

There they are.
Those guys crushed my car.

They destroyed the coffee shop.

[bystander 1]
Yeah! Get outta here!

[bystander 2]
They're ruining everything.

I'm sick of superheroes.
Yeah! Let's get 'em.

No more superheroes!
Oh, no, no, no!

Get in!

[Minions clamoring]

[bystander 3] Boo!
[bystander 1] Yeah,
get outta here!

Gentlemen... [groans]

...our experiment has failed.

You are officially
going to be retired.

[cheers] Retirement!
[chuckles]
[Minions groan]

Uh, no?

[tires squeal]
[horn honks]

[gasps]

Whoa. There it is.

The castle, the gargoyles.

I can't believe
I'm really here.
[sighs]

[Phil speaking Minionese] Okay.

[humming, speaking Minionese]

[sighs] Okay.
Let's get this over with.

Ron, hand me my gear.
Voilà.

Keep a close eye on him.
[Ron] Okay.

If you need anything...
[Ron] Uh-huh.

...I brought formula,
extra diapers,
his favorite Binky--

Come on. Let's go.
Let's go. [grunts]

[imitating Poppy]

[grunts]

And now, we cut through
the glass with my...

diapers?

What? You've got to
be kidding with me.

[Ron speaking Minionese]

Muerte a la piñata!

[speaking Minionese]
Hey, guys.
Guys. Guys? Guys!

Guys, where is
the other bag with my gear?

[speaking Minionese] Balloon.

[Gru gasps]
[Phil] Ah.

Oops.

[laughs]
[laughs, speaks Minionese]

What? How-- [groans]

[screams, muffled]

All right. All right.
Let's see what
I got in here. Uh...

Come on. Come on,
come on, come on. Aha!

[grunts]

[speaks Minionese]

[chuckles]
Easy-peasy.

[grunting]

[grunting]
[giggling]

Huh?

[both gasp]

That's Mr. Friendly.

Stupid kids.

[whimpers, groans]
[grunts]

No, no, no!

[Poppy gasps]

[gasps]

Oh, I hate my job.

Whew.

[groans]

Stupid kids.

[grunts]
[grunts]

[yells, grunts]

Ha-ha-ha. [blows raspberry]

[Minions panting]

[gasps]

That's Dr. Destructo.
He was just a kid.

And there is Killer Driller's
original helmet.

Come on!

Stay focused.

[snaps] Diaper.
[speaks Minionese]

[door rattles]
[Gru groans]

I need something like--
Something that I can--

How about this?

Nice.

[lock rattles, clicks]

Yes! [squeals]

[door creaks]

[gasps] We're in.

Wait. No, no, no.

Baby powder!

Ah, sí, sí.

Whoa!

You know,
the most important part
of a heist

is being constantly aware
of potential danger.

[speaking Minionese]
Tiramisu!

No. Junior!

Junior, come back here.

[hums]

So, what's your plan now?

I am dealing with it. [gasps]

[giggles]
[Gru groans]

Don't touch anything. No.

No, no, no!

[all gasp]

[chuckles] Good job, Junior.
Way to go.

[groans]

[giggles]

Aw, he's having fun.

Ugh, too much fun.

[speaking Minionese]
[speaking Minionese]

Please, Junior.
[Junior giggling]

Daddy needs to steal
a honey badger.

[exhales] Okay.

I know they keep
Lenny here at night.

And, if memory serves,

there is a hidden switch
around here somewhere.

Ah! Ha-ha.

Yes!
[metal squeaks, groans]

[gasps]
Ooh.

[chuckles]

I'll hit him with this.

Once he's knocked out,
we'll open the cage.

That fuzzy demon
will sleep like a baby
the whole-- [gasps]

[shouts]

[exhales] Okay.
He's still asleep.
[growls]

[screams]

[screams] Mamma mia!

[growling]

I tranked myself.

[laughing]

[Minions screaming]

[Poppy] Hey! Hey!

[screams]

Gru, what do we do?
[screams]

No!

[screams]

[beeping]

Oh, no!
I've ruined our heist.

[beeping]

What? Who dares?

Intruders!

Intruders!

[growls]
[screams]

[giggles]

Wake up!

No!

[babbles]

What?

Hmm.

[giggles]

Aw.

[both] Aw.
[speaks Minionese]

No. Nope.

[Übelschlecht screams]

Come on. We have to go.

[panting]

[Übelschlecht screams]

Intruders!

You messed with
the wrong principal.

[gasps] Here we go.
Come on. Come on.

[giggling]

Go, go, go!
Go, go, go.

[shouts]

Come on! Come on!
Ooh, you won't
get away with this.

Ah!

[Übelschlecht screams]

[yelps]

[tires squeal]

[Ron screams]

[Poppy screams]

[panting]

Prepare to feel
the wrath of Übelschlecht!

- [gasps]
- [screams]

Diaper rash cream.

Oh, no. Oh, no!

[Ron] Stop, stop, stop!

[Übelschlecht screams]

Oh, dear.

Oof!

Get back here, you.

I want my Lenny!

[Gru grunts]

How are we getting out of here?

Follow me.

Get in!

Come on, come on, come on.

[sputters]

[all scream]

Mr. Friendly!

Whoa!

[shouts]

I have to say,
that was without a doubt
the coolest night of my life.

I can't believe
we actually pulled that off.

[chuckles] Not gonna lie,
that was pretty fun.

[speaking Minionese]

Thanks, Ron.

Phew. [speaking Minionese]

And thank you for everything.

Oh, and hey. Don't worry.

Your secret
is safe with me, partner.

Thanks.

Good night.

[babbles]

Your dada did
pretty good, huh, Junior?

[squeals, giggles]
[chuckles]

[chuckles, speaks Minionese]

Sí, sí, sí. Go, go.

Hello, Maxime.

How's my favorite student?

You know, I think you and I
might be looking for
the same person.

And I know exactly where he is.

[cackles]

[chuckles]

Thank you,
Principal Übelschlecht.

[line beeps]
We got him.

Valentina, to Mayflower.

With pleasure. [chuckles]

Ah, here we go.

[chuckles]

Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

It's all coming back to me.
[girls giggle]

[thuds]
[speaking Minionese]

[groans]
[Gru] Oops.

[chuckles] Okay.
See you later.

Say, "Bye, Mommy and Daddy."

Have fun at the club!

Make good choices.

Bye, guys.
Goodbye!

Bye!

Hey, Cunninghams.

Um, hey, Poppy.

I heard our parents
are having a playdate,
which is adorable, by the way,

and I thought
you might wanna hang out.

Oh, yeah. Sure. Come on in.

Let's get
this party started, people.

I like her.

Yeah. Most people do. [chuckles]

Sweet.

So, have you guys
ever seen a honey badger?

[grunting]

[grunts]

Whoa, okay, these guys
aren't messing around.

There are
my favorite new neighbors.

Hi.

I'm loving this whole vibe.

You two look like
a couple of pros.

[both laughing]

Yeah, but we're not. [chuckles]

Perry and the boys are waiting
for y'all on the court,

and we are
hitting the clubhouse.

And you're telling me
where you got
that to-die-for outfit.

[sighs]

[grunts]

Ah!
Ugh.

Over here, Chet.

Hello.

Okay.

Skip, Chip, Chet.

Chet, Skip, Chip.

Hey there, fellas.

Hello.
How are you doing, Chet?

Okay. [laughs, grunts]
[chuckles]

Chet here is gonna show
us fellas how it's done.

Right?

Um. [grunts]

[chuckles]
I'm gonna smoke this guy.

Okay.

[chuckles]

- [grunts]
- [screams]

- [whistle blowing]
- Huh?

What the...
[mutters]

[whistle blows]

Okay, let's do this.

[whistle blows]

Huh? You've gotta be kidding.

[whistle blowing]

Okay, okay.

Better?

[grunts]

What?

[growls]

That doesn't count.

And--
[whistle blows]

What? You can't just j--
Hey!

This is ridiculous!
[whistle blows]

[Ron hums, grunts, sighs]

[speaks Minionese] ...burrito.

[Ron screams]

[groans, sputters]

[giggles] Thanks, Ron.

Hey, no! Oh, no.
[speaking Minionese, muffled]

[children giggling]

[Edith] Come and get it.

Aw, he's so cute.
Whoa!

This is the weirdest dog ever.
[doorbell rings]

I'll get it.

[gasps]

Well, hello, little one.
Is your daddy home?

Sorry. I'm not "stupposed"
to talk to strangers.

[chuckles] Oh,
I'm not a stranger.

Well, you look strange to me.

[groans]
[Margo] Who is it?

I don't know.

But she's old
and smells like pickles.

[panting, sniffs, whimpers]

Okay, I'm coming.

[gasps]

Oh, no. Oh.

I'll be right back.
[whimpers]

Can I help you?

Well, I hope so.

I'm an old friend of Gru's.

Well, he's not here, so...

Oh, that's all right.

I'll wait.

[panting]

What? No. [screaming]
[whistle blows]

Whenever you're ready, Perry.
[phone chimes]

[phone beeps]
Hmm?

[gasps]

Needless to say,

Perry and I are
no longer welcome

on the island of Oahu. [laughs]

- True story.
- [chuckles]

[Gru] Honey!
Oh, thank goodness.

It's the children.
We have to go now.
[gasps]

Thanks. Bye.

Our cover's blown!
What?

Call Silas!
Oh, no.

[whistle blowing]

[line ringing]

[speaking Minionese]

[screaming]

[yells]

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

[spits, gags]

[chuckles]

Ah.

[beeps]
[gasps]

Gru's been compromised.

This is an emergency, people.

Retirement is officially over.

Assemble the Mega Minions.

[squawking]

[beeps]
Oh!

Pomodoro! [laughs]

[chewing] Mmm.

[beeping]

Ah! Pomodoro!

[laughs]

[laughs, speaks Minionese]

Hey. [chuckles]

[speaking Minionese] Busy bee.

Aw.

[beeping]
[laughs]

Pomodoro!

[laughs]

[moos]

Yeehaw.

[beeping]

Pomodoro!

[chuckles]

Pomodoro! Yeehaw!

[speaking Minionese]

[slot machine ticks]
Huh?

[coins clinking]
Whoa! Ha-ha! Yeah!

[chuckles]
[beeping]

[groans, grumbles]

So...

your father has been naughty.

Very naughty.

He took something of mine
that I desperately want back.

[gasps]

Ah! [grunts]
Ha!

Principal Übelschlecht?

Ooh! I know you took my Lenny.

Now hand him over.
Ah! Ow!

That's actually
a very funny story.

[Übelschlecht] Zip it.

I don't wanna hear your excuses.

I'm here to teach you a lesson.
Let's go, tough guy.

Okay. Okay. I'm not going to
fight an old lady.

Oh, yeah?

Well, I'm gonna give you
a whupping
for the history books.

Whoa! Whoa!

[grunts]

Take that.

Yeah! Go!

Girls, look out! Over here!
[children scream]

Everyone, get down!

Hey, back off, lady! [growls]

[Gru] Ow! [grunts]

[dog barking]

[grunting]

Stop it!

Let him go!
[screams]

Take that!

[giggles]

[giggles]

[chuckles] Now we have to
get in there
and find that baby.

What?

Oh, jackpot, huh?

Ay, Maxime.
This is too easy. [chuckles]

[Maxime] Come here, little bébé.

Come to Maxime.

Yes. Coochy, coochy--
[crunches]

[screams] Oh!
Ay, Maxime.

You little--

You are in big trouble.

Gotcha!

[grunts] Hi-yah!

[Übelschlecht screams]

Whew.
[panting]

Wait. Where's the baby?

Where's the baby?

[gasps]
Junior?

[Junior cries]

[Übelschlecht shouts]

[Gru] Lucy!

Go after the baby.

[gasps]

Maxime.

Say au revoir, Gru.

Oh, and don't worry.

He will be very happy
with his new daddy.

Right? Look at him.
Oh, he loves his new daddy.

Junior!

[sobs]

No!

[gasps]

Get in.

We've got a baby to save.

[chuckles]

We got him!
[laughs]

Oh, ho. Who is ready
to become a little roach?

[giggles]
[screams] Let go!

Those are very sensitive. Ah!

You squirmy little--

Oh!

Oh! Are you kidding me?

You got pee-pee
all over my ship.

[giggles]

Valentina!

Bring me the Roachification Ray!

[giggles]

There they are.

I'm on it.

Here we go.

[laughs]

[screams]

Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[shouts]

Mmm. [groans]

[beeping]
What's that? Oh!

Uh. [chuckles] Hello.

Ugh. Gru!

Get me closer!

[engine rattles]

Almost there.

[grunts]

Take them out!

[chuckles]

[grunts, screams]
[screams]

[screams]

[grunts]

You're doing great.

[grunts]

Go get 'em, partner.

[screams, whimpers]

[grunts]

[chuckles]

[screams]

Ay! I can't see!

[grunts]

[all scream]

[screams, grunts]

[coughs]

Junior!

[Maxime laughs]
Don't worry, Gru.

The baby is fine.

See for yourself.

[babbles]

[gasps] Oh, Junior.

And now he belongs to me.

Isn't that right, Maxime Jr?

Together we will wreak havoc,

cause mayhem,

and have so much fun
doing it, huh?

[giggles]

And best of all, he hates you!

He really does.

Let my son go!

No, I don't think so.

The fun is just about
to start, huh?
[thudding]

[laughing]

[screams]

Oh! Look at what a coward
your old daddy is, huh?

[laughs]

[grunts]

[laughs]

[shouts]

[gasps]

[cracking]

[Valentina screams]

[panting]

[growls]

You crossed the line, Maxime.

Now, give me my son.

I told you.

He is my son now.

[grunting]

[screams]

[Gru grunts]
[chuckles]

Watch your step, Gru.

It's a doozy!

[chuckles] Too bad
you can't fly, huh?

[grunts, shouts]

Let go!
Ow! Ugh!

[screams]

- [grunts]
- [grunts]

Oh! [grunts]

This ends now!

Say goodbye to Daddy.
[babbles]

It's okay, Junior.

Dada loves you.

[chuckles]

[Gru groans, screams]

[screams]

Oh! [chuckles]

[screams]
[gasps]

Get back here.

Bad baby.

Ow, ow, ow! Ow!

Get off me, you demon.

- You're going to
feel the wrath of--
- [screams]

[screams]

[chuckles]

[groans, whimpers, screams]

[grunts] Whoa. [screams]

Ow! Oh. [screams]

[groans]

See? Not a scratch.

Huh? What?
[cow moos]

Salami!

[screams]

Pastrami!

No, no, no, no, no.

[speaking Minionese]

What?
Prosciutto!

Ew! Ew! Ew! Gross! [screams]

Ha! Nice try. When I--

[chuckles]

Antipasti. [chuckles]
[shutter clicks]

[chuckles]

Ho, ho!

[tires squeal]

Gru.
Gru!

- Yeah, yeah!
- Junior!

[chuckles] Woo!

[engine sputters]

Yes!

[Agnes] Yippee!
[Edith] Holy cow!

[Lucy] You guys okay?
That was insane!

[Lucy sighs]

Dada.

[gasps]

Mmm.

Aw!

- Oh, my boys.
- Dada.

[sniffles] You know something?

Today has been a real
roller coaster of emotion.

[inhales deeply]

Uh, Gru?

Can we go back home now?

All right. There you go.

[gasps] Yay.

Thanks, Dr. Nefario.
[gurgles]

Good as new.

No job too small,

or too mad. [chuckles]

Bye, then.

Bye.

Hey. You okay, sweetie?

[sniffles]
[Gru] Agnes,
someone's here to see you!

[gasps]

[gasps] Lucky?

[bleats]

Lucky!

[giggles]

Did you practice your tricks?
[bleats]

Okay. Play dead.

[gags, coughs]

Yay!

Ah, that was disturbing.
Yeah, little bit.

- Lucky. [giggles]
- [bleats]

Hey, I'll, uh...
I'll be back soon.

Oh, okay.
[kisses]

There's something
I need to take care of.
Yeah.

[kisses]
See you later, buddy.

Love you, honey.

[babbles]

Oh, how you doing, Maxime?

Ugh, what are
you doing here, Gru?

You came to gloat? No?

Gloat? No, no, no, no. I just--

- I wanted to
get something off my chest.
- [scoffs]

And it concerns
the ninth-grade talent show.

Well,

actually,

I did steal your song.

What? I knew it!

I knew there was no coincidence.
You little liar!

[grunts]

Well?

Well, what?

Well, where's my apology?
[Gru] Apolo--

What are you talking about?
I just apologized.

Oh, no, no, no.

No, that was no apology.

You just wanted to rub it in.

I can't believe
you stole my song!
[Gru] Hey!

I only did that to get back
at you for pantsing me
at the homecoming dance.

- [chuckles]
- Besides, you could've
gone on after me.

It is not my fault
that you were afraid.

Afraid because I killed it!

Afraid? Ha!

I could outsing you
any day of the week
and all day Sunday.

[chuckles]
I'd like to see that.

Anytime, anyplace.

You name it, mon ami.

["Everybody Wants to
Rule the World" playing]

[chuckles]

Oh, yeah.

♪ Welcome to your life... ♪

[grunts]

♪ There's
no turning back... ♪

[grunts]

♪ ...Even while we sleep... ♪

Oh, come on.

♪ ...We will find you ♪

♪ Act-- ♪
♪ ...ing on
your best behavior ♪

♪ Turn your back
On Mother Nature ♪

♪ Everybody wants to
Rule the world... ♪

Yes!
Whoo! Yeah!

[barking]

[groans]

♪ It's my own design... ♪

Uh-huh. Oh, yeah.

♪ ...It's my own remorse... ♪

Let's boogie!

♪ ...Help me to decide... ♪

Whoo-hoo!
[speaking Minionese]

♪ ...Help me make the ♪

♪ Most of freedom
And of pleasure ♪

♪ Nothing ever lasts forever ♪

♪ Everybody wants to
Rule the world ♪

♪ There's a room where
The light won't find you ♪

♪ Holding hands
While the walls
Come tumbling down ♪

♪ When they do
I'll be right behind you ♪

♪ So glad
We've almost made it ♪

♪ So sad they had to fade it ♪

♪ Pom, pom, pom, pom
Tra la la la la ♪

♪ Everybody wants to
Rule the world ♪

♪ Say that you'll never, never
Never, never need it ♪

♪ One headline
Why believe it? ♪

♪ Everybody wants to
Rule the world ♪

♪ All for freedom
And for pleasure ♪

♪ Nothing ever lasts forever ♪

♪ Everybody wants to
Rule the world ♪

[Gru] Oh, yeah!

[gasps]

[speaks Minionese]

[speaks Minionese]

[grunts]

[grunts]
[glass shatters]

[laughs] Whoo-hoo-hoo!

[speaks Minionese, screams]

[siren blares]

[Ralph] Oh, strudel.

[screams]

[chuckles]

["Double Life" playing]

[screams]

[chews]

[gasps]

[chuckles]

[speaks Minionese]

Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

[speaks Minionese]

[sneezes]

[speaks Minionese]

[breathes deeply]

[screams, burps]

[chuckles]

[speaks Minionese]

[screams]

[laughs]

[laughs]
[speaks Minionese]

[cheering]

Ah, whoops.

[giggles]

[screams]

[grunting]

[grunts]

[giggling, speaking Minionese]

[chanting in Minionese]

[speaking Minionese]
[laughs]

[speaking Minionese] Huh?

Mmm.

[grunting, screams]

[grunts, speaks Minionese]

[speaking Minionese]
[speaking Minionese]

[grunting]

[panting]

[chuckles]

No, no, no, no, no. [screams]

[screaming]
[shouts]

Ooh!

[grunts]

[screams]

[cracking]
Uh...

Uh-oh.
[screams]

Ugh.

[speaks Minionese, yelps]

[whimpers]

[chews]

- Oh? [screams]
- [bird cries]

[chirps]

[groans]

[groans, pants]

[groans, pants]

[pants]

[grunts]

Blah, blah, blah.
Blah, blah, blah.
Blah, blah, blah.

[sighs]

[groans]

[speaking Minionese]

[singing "Double Life"
in Minionese]

[gasps]

[speaks Minionese]

[laughs]

[whistling]

[straining]

[snoring]

[screams]
[chuckles]