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NARRATOR: They say a good story makes us human,

so I'd like to tell you mine.

But don't think you've got it figured out.

It's complicated.

The summer of '64 changed all of us.

When you live your life on the road,

freedom's a crap shit.

Hey, is it uh, the Hoover Dam or is it-- is it um,

is it just Hoover Dam?

With the-- no "the"?

[engine revving]

[birds chirping]

I think it's the Hoover Dam. Uh-uh.

Thang is not just a monument you know, it's a--

It's a statement.

It's like, uh, it's like, "Hey, Colorado River, fuck you.

No rollin' through here on our watch."

[♪♪♪]

[cheers]

♪ Hmm ♪

♪ You know I smoked a lot of grass and I-- ♪

NARRATOR: So, before I get ahead of myself,

let me take it back a few weeks to Death Valley, California.

♪ Hey, but I never-- ♪

NARRATOR: Things hadn't been easy

and life wasn't the same anymore.

People weren't the same anymore.

Everyone was killing each other, even on the TV.

♪...in their eyes ♪

NARRATOR: And there we were,

another long hot day on the road,

car breaking down on us again.

[sighs]

So, it's the air filter.

Was the air filter.

Now, it's pretty much the whole thing.

Huh.

[indistinct radio chatter]

I was uh, was so hopin' that you could fix it for me.

Well, I could fix it if you gave me a few days.

You gave me an hour.

Did enough to patch it.

But you'll need an overhaul as soon as you can,

especially carrying cargo like that.

[indistinct radio chatter]

Here you go. Thanks.

You're short.

Well, you said that it--

That it wouldn't be so expensive.

Earlier.

That's before you told me you needed rush work.

Had to get right on it.

Set all other business to the side.

Uh, um...

Hey, I can always put her back the way you brought her in.

No, uh...

That's rush work, so you know...

I understand.

[telephone rings]

[♪♪♪]

[sighs]

ESTHER: Hello.

[beeps]

Hello, hi. Hi, it's me.

ESTHER: What? W-- what is it?

I just wanted to say that you know,

it looks like I'm actually a bit ahead of schedule

and so I think I have some-- some time tomorrow.

I could maybe stop in and see Saul.

ESTHER: Oh, Jesus Christ. We went over this.

No, I know, that's true, but um, I'm--

I'm just sayin' that you know,

if I go there you know, he-- he owes me, so uh--

ESTHER: We agreed no getting sidetracked, right?

JIM: Yeah.

ESTHER: I worked hard setting this up.

No, I know that, but um--

ESTHER: I worked hard to make something happen

after you quit making anything happen.

So, all you need to do now is focus on the destination.

JIM: No, I'm just sayin'

- that if I go there-- - BOBBY: Hi.

And have a talk with him that I--

ESTHER: Jim, you wouldn't. You wouldn't.

BOBBY: I'm kinda stranded out here

and I'm tryin' to get home in Michigan.

ESTHER: You'll have a talk with Saul about what?

BOBBY: Maybe I could get a ride with you guys?

ESTHER: Don't say anything, right?

[chuckle together]

ESTHER: [overlapping speech]

GIRL IN CONVERTIBLE: I don't think so.

BOBBY: Like you know, Mobile--

[chuckles]

ESTHER: Jim? Jim, don't go see Saul. Are you listening to me?

Oh, Jesus Christ, I'm hanging up.

[sighs]

[beeps]

[indistinct radio chatter]

Hey! This ain't no hitching post!

So, unless you wanna buy candy or Camels...

BOBBY: What?

Oh!

Oh, you wanna take a swing at me? Is that it?

Well, come on, big man, I ain't got all day.

JIM: Excuse me.

Do you uh, do you need a ride?

[munches]

Uh, um-- I'd be happy to uh...

I'm going East on 66.

You a suck?

- JIM: I'm sorry? - Sick fuck. Suck.

Um, no, I'm not.

Um, I'm not sure where you headed,

but you're-- you're welcome to come along for a ways.

I'm Jim.

- Bobby. - Well, hop in, Bobby?

The uh, wheels died on me back near Death Valley there.

I'm in a hell of a hurry.

[indistinct radio chatter]

BOBBY: Damn, it feels good to be moving.

Yeah, I gotta hit uh, I gotta hit Michigan quick.

Night after next, I got a uh, got a homecoming

with the honey in South Haven.

Oh, well, I'm heading that way. Chicago, actually.

Oh. A first-timer, huh?

You just told me exactly where you're going

instead of waiting to tell me, or you know, being vague-like.

So, uh, now I know how long I can ride for.

Well, I fell a little bit behind today,

so I thought, you know...

BOBBY: Yeah! Get a back-up wheelman.

Sure thing. I can burn.

Hell, this is 66. We're on the Mother Road.

Plenty of room out here to do some damage, right, Jim?

Can I ask you a question?

Roaming. That's all.

That's what you were gonna ask, right?

Where I been. I been roaming.

Experiencing America.

One end of the 66, back to the other.

You're uh, what, in the army?

Air Force. I mean I was.

I ain't even make it overseas. I got discharged.

It was damn shame, too, 'cause I was all ready

to go do me some bombing.

So, why the discharge?

[takes a drag, puffs smoke]

Say, what's with all the questions?

Oh, I'm sorry, I-- I thought I was--

What is this, a game show?

What's My Line? Well, I'll tell you my line.

Not answering any more of your fuckin' questions.

Whoa, honest, Bobby, I'm sorry.

I'm-- I'm just makin' a conversation--

What the hell is that?

No, no, it's okay.

- BOBBY: Oh, you. - Just gonna...

BOBBY: What the fuck? Oh!

JIM: It's okay, Bobby. Bobby, it's okay, Bobby.

BOBBY: [indistinct speech]

- Shit. - JIM: It's okay, Bobby.

BOBBY: You fuck. Fuck.

JIM: Hey, big fella.

Hey. It's okay.

It's okay. Hey, hey, buddy.

The fuck are you talking to?

JIM: Oh, I was meanin' to mention.

So, you're just gonna hang out?

I want you to meet him. His name is Bobby.

Okay, okay.

[screams]

What the... fuck is that?

Bobby, Bobby! Bobby, just calm down.

Get a hairy a foreign fucking baby in there!

Listen, it's alright. Shh! Bobby, Bobby! Calm down, okay?

- BOBBY: What the fuck? - Listen. Hey, listen.

You're a fucking creep!

You're a fucking creep!

Listen, you've got to calm down.

I wanna introduce you, but you gotta calm down, okay?

Calm down? Fuck you!

Please, please, calm down, okay?

Oh, shit!

JIM: I wanna introduce you to him.

Alright? Hey.

Hey, hey, hey, it's okay. Hey, hey.

BOBBY: You're worse than a suck, mister.

You're a fuckin' super-suck, I swear to God.

Alright, Spanky. Alright, buddy. Here you go, okay?

Who's always got you, right? Who's your friend?

Who's gonna make sure you're okay all the time, huh?

Okay, okay. Okay. Come on. Yeah, yeah, yeah!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[chuckles]

Yeah.

[Bobby laughing]

[shushes]

[laughs]

- It's a monkey. - It's okay, it's Bobby.

He's our friend. You wanna say "hi"?

You Spanky? Are you Spanky?

Yeah, huh? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know.

What? Did you just say Spanky?

Jim, you don't understand I seen everything

that fuckin' monkey ever did.

- Chimp. - Huh?

- He's a chimp. - BOBBY: Huh?

Chimpanzee. He's a ape family.

It's the closest relative to humans. It's--

Ed Sullivan, Perry Como, Today Show.

Motherfucker's done 'em all, right?

- Yeah. - Yeah, I can't believe.

In middle of 66-- middle of 66, I'm racin' home,

and I run into a certified legend.

Alright, alright, shh. Yeah, yeah, alright.

God Bless America, oh!

Say, Jim, shouldn't he be on a plane right now?

Monkey-humpin' stewardesses?

- JIM: Okay. - Sipping wine in first-class?

JIM: It's harder to fly with him commercially.

Um, some new regulations.

Yeah, but he's got gigs, alright?

Jim, what's he doing in Chicago?

It's a private engagement.

[sighs] It's really important.

So, um, where do you guys plan on stopping tonight

before you got to running behind?

Um, Albuquerque.

Albuquerque. Albuquerque.

Yeah. Yeah, sure thing, I can burn.

And you can tell me every last thing

about that famous fucker.

Monkey!

[Bobby chuckling]

Bobby.

[♪♪♪]

♪ Last night your shadow fell upon my lonely room ♪

♪ I touched your golden hair and tasted your perfume ♪

♪ Your eyes were filled with love ♪

♪ The way they used to be ♪

♪ Your gentle hand reached out to comfort me ♪

♪ Then came the dawn ♪

♪ And you were gone ♪

♪ You were gone, gone, gone ♪

♪ I had too much to dream last night ♪

JIM: You know, there's a theory about chimps?

Give him a typewriter and enough time,

and Spanky could write all of Shakespeare's works.

[sighs]

BOBBY: Well, Shakespeare's an asshole.

♪ Last night ♪

♪ Last night ♪

♪ Oh, too much to dream ♪

♪ Oh, too much to dream ♪

♪ Too much to dream last night ♪

♪ Oh, too much to dream ♪

♪ Oh, too much to dream ♪

♪ Oh, too much to dream ♪

♪ Oh, I had too much to dream ♪

♪ Oh, too much to dream ♪

[Bobby grunts]

Hey, New Mexico! Let's dance.

So, I burned it or what?

Oh, yeah. That was, uh, good drivin'.

Um, well, I'm-- I'm beat.

I'm gonna get the uh, the room.

Yeah, sure thing.

Hey, remember, we're out 6:30, sharp.

We gotta keep movin'.

Okay.

You know, um,

I'm sure there's rooms with two beds.

BOBBY: Oh, I'm good up front there.

- You sure? - BOBBY: Yep!

Okay.

- Hey. - BOBBY: Say, uh, Jim!

(WHISPERING): -Shh, he's sleeping. -Oh, sorry. Okay!

He's sleeping.

JIM: Yeah.

[chuckles]

- What is it? - Say, you think I uh,

you think I can feed him?

Oh, uh, well, he's restin' now,

but uh, that's a really nice offer.

Oh, yeah.

So, h-- uh, maybe how about breakfast?

Um, well, I don't know, Bobby.

I don't-- I don't know if it's such a good idea.

Jim, come on. You said it yourself

he's got like 99% human characteristics.

- How hard can it be? - Bobby, it's the 1%

you gotta be careful of.

That's-- that gets tricky, you know?

It's uh-- look, here. Here. See, yeah?

And I'm trained to deal with him.

Look what he did to my arm.

I mean honest, Bobby, it's for your own good. Really.

Chimpanzee has the strength of seven men.

Hmm, seven queer men maybe. I ain't no queer.

Ed Sullivan fed him,

but I guess I ain't no Ed Sullivan neither, huh?

[sighs]

I'm sorry, I-- I don't-- I don't think it's a good idea.

[takes a deep breath]

[puffs smoke]

[sighs]

Okay, um...

Get some rest, buddy, okay?

JIM: Hello? Sir, hi.

Um, was hopin' I could check in.

So, you're rollin' by moonlight.

Rough out there.

You know, the things I hear on this police CB.

[sighs]

Yeah, too many miles can shake a man's insides.

But I've got somethin' that could clear that up.

Yes, sir.

[indistinct radio chatter]

[indistinct radio chatter]

My daughter keeps askin', "Daddy, why do you do this?"

And I say, "Because I'm trying to help.

I'm just tryin' to make this world better

instead of a little worse any way I can."

[indistinct radio chatter]

Great deals on each. Best medicine around.

There's nothing more calming than to know

you've got one of these close by right there in your glove box.

Puntilla, the Mexicans use these on their horses.

Slices the bones right off the flesh.

Me? I just keep one under the bed.

Helps me sleep at night.

Now, let's say a man who's a little bit more uh, frail,

get a knife like this.

You see that handle?

You just touch that and it's calming.

You just touch that

and that will cool a man's blood temperature

right down.

Now, the cheapest is the neck knife.

Now, you wear it right back there

and it firms up your whole posture.

Say, you got a firm neck, so you got firm shoulders.

You got firm shoulders, you got a firm back.

You got a firm back, strong stomach.

And you, my friend, have the perfect neck

for a neck knife.

Hell, I could see that.

Uh, thank you kindly, but um, I think I'm okay on the knives,

but um, maybe I just take the room tonight, you know?

A fellow like you for sure oughta have himself a blade.

Well, uh,

a fellow like me would really like

to have a room tonight, so...

I'm just tryin' to get you well.

Uh...

[sighs]

[clears throat]

Best of luck.

Okay.

Thank you.

[indistinct radio chatter]

[Bobby whistling]

Hey-o! Over here!

Hey, I need your help with something.

What are you doin' in that car?

Come here.

Whose car is that?

Come here.

Come take a look what I got in my hand. Come.

I'm sorry, it's too dark. I can't see.

Oh, it's okay, come here. Come closer.

[♪♪♪]

What are you gonna do with that?

BOBBY: What do you think I'm gonna do with it?

It's a stick-up, Jim.

What a stick-up, what?

- Bobby. - Don't go acting like

you're the monkey now, Jim.

[sighs]

Bobby.

Bobby, you-- you don't wanna do this.

Yeah, you don't know what I want, Jim.

But I-- I-- I do know what you want.

We spent all day together talkin' about it.

You-- you wanna get back to Michigan to your girl,

to her party, and you--

You wanna tell her all about the Hoover Dam.

You met Spanky today.

Bobby, we're-- we're-- we're friends!

Why're you holdin' a gun in my head?

Shit!

God, fuckin', fuckin' fuck!

[groans]

Shit! Why!

[coughs, grunts]

Shit! You fuckin' fucking fucker!

What did I say?

Give me your wallet. Give me your wallet.

[grunts]

What's that? Hey, give me your fuckin' ring.

[groans]

Very serious.

Why are you doin' this?

[sighs]

Hey, Jim.

Ow, Bobby!

[groans]

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Here's a deal.

If I see a car with sirens anywhere in this zip code,

Spanky gets it.

Bobby, I promise, you won't-- you won't see any cops.

I promise.

[pants, sniffles]

[pants]

[mimics monkey hooting]

[taking deep breaths]

Hell of a thing, this.

Nobody in South Haven would ever believe it.

[scoffs]

BOBBY: You know, I don't wanna scare you, Spank.

That's what I've been trying saying.

I'm not like you know, I'm not a bad person.

Not at my core.

Yeah, I just got pushed, see?

I was set off when I got on this road.

I'm just gonna make sure you're all nice and tight here,

so you don't slip away on me?

Say, ain't you Mr. Calm?

I fly jets at Fort Custer.

Hmm. Hmm.

You even make it through basic?

[sighs]

You ever shot one of those? At a person?

Look, there's no money back here.

You can look on the ground for a few pennies.

Take your girl out.

Oh, God!

Goddammit, look what you made me do!

Well, I guess now you know

I know how to shoot it, huh,

fly-boy?

- ESTHER: In New Mexico? - JIM: Yeah.

So, um, just about uh, 60 miles from Albuquerque.

- ESTHER: Alright. - Yeah.

ESTHER: Well, there should be no more trouble now.

So, no, but uh, tomorrow, I think I'll--

I'll definitely have chance to um...

ESTHER: Ugh, here we go.

Just you know, swing by Saul's and-- and uh, say, "Hey."

ESTHER: You're not funny, Jim.

No, it's not a joke, Esther.

ESTHER: [sighs] For goodness sake, Jim, why're you being so stubborn?

Because I feel like he--

- ESTHER: The show is over. - Uh-huh.

ESTHER: You're not gonna ruin this for us.

Well, we'll see, huh?

[telephone beeps]

[scoffs]

[takes deep breaths]

[gasps, pants]

[telephone rings]

ESTHER: The show is over, Jim.

Spanky?

ESTHER: The deal is done, Jim. You had your chances.

Spanky!

ESTHER: The show is over, Jim.

Spanky!

[sighs]

Hey, big fella!

How you doin', huh?

You looking good.

BOBBY: Yeah, he just got up.

- JIM: Oh, yeah? - BOBBY: Mmhmm.

- JIM: Hey. - BOBBY: Breakfast?

JIM: No, no, I-- I'm okay.

More stellar threads! Jim, that's a nice shirt!

You know, if I had a shirt like this,

I'd be President Jack himself without the um,

blown-out head.

Um...

Well, listen, Bobby, I was thinkin' uh,

last night as I was um, tryin' to sleep,

I-- I thought if we could just have a quick chat about um--

- You okay? - Just turn with me slowly.

Over my shoulder.

Did you call 'em?

- No. - No?

- Don't lie to me. - I don't lie.

We had a deal, Bobby, and I kept it.

I swear.

Get in the car real normal, alright?

But I have to check out and--

Get in the fucking car.

Shit.

Start the fucking car!

Shit.

Just go steady.

You uh, you been thinkin'?

- I'm sorry? - Before, you said,

"I been thinking."

Oh, uh, yeah, I-- I was thinkin' about um,

a-- a new deal you know, for us.

Uh, you're headed to Michigan, right?

South Haven, girlfriend, before midnight tomorrow.

I'll take you as far as I'm goin'.

Uh, end of 66, Chicago, and you know,

we'll arrive early evening, and--

And you're only 120 miles away.

Easy to hitch a ride from the big city, right?

Uh, that's no deal. I could've done that myself.

That is just pointless.

Yeah, but I'll guarantee that you get there.

Quick stop in Amarillo later, a motel

outside of Tulsa tonight,

and you know, no trouble, no police.

Uh, well, what's in it for you?

Um, I get the wallet and my ring.

And you can hang onto them till we get to Chicago.

Well, why you want 'em so bad?

I just do. Very much.

Say, I got a uh--

[clears throat] How do you-- what do you uh,

what do you call it. I got a uh, I got a counteroffer.

How about I shoot you in both eyeballs?

I get your ring, your wallet, your car, your keys,

and you get to be blind and dead.

How does that sound?

[chuckles] Okay, well, you know, if I'm dead then you know,

who's gonna take care of Spanky?

[chuckles]

You think-- oh, you think I give a fuck about a monkey?

Bobby, I told you already he's a chimp.

There's a difference. He's not a monkey.

Fucker could be Ed Sullivan himself.

I don't give a shit.

Oh, come on. It's a fair deal, Bobby.

And I'll honor it just like I honored my deal back there,

and-- and you honored it, too.

Hmm.

Can you drive fast? Your drivin' is driving me nuts.

[♪♪♪]

♪ The Eastern world, it is explodin' ♪

♪ Violence flarin', and bullets loadin' ♪

♪ You're old enough to kill, but not for votin' ♪

♪ You don't believe in war ♪

♪ But what's that gun you're totin' ♪

♪ Even the River Jordan has bodies floatin' ♪

♪ And you tell me ♪

♪ Over and over and over again, my friend ♪

♪ How you don't believe ♪

♪ We're on the eve of destruction ♪

♪ Don't you understand what I'm tryin' to say ♪

♪ Can't you feel the fears I'm feelin' today ♪

BOBBY: Where you goin'?

JIM: A quick detour.

You won't find Jesus in Amarillo.

♪ There'll be no one to save with the world in a grave ♪

♪ Take a look around you, boy ♪

♪ It's bound to scare you, boy ♪

♪ And you tell me

♪ Over and over and over again ♪

♪ How you don't believe

♪ We're on the eve of destruction ♪

♪ How you don't believe

♪ We're on the eve of destruction ♪

- SAUL: Hey! - I won't be long.

Uh, you take long, I take off.

SAUL: No service today. You gotta come back tomorrow!

Jim! Keys.

[sighs]

SAUL: Did you hear me?

Saul?

My Lord, hey, is that Jimmy?

Yeah. [laughs]

- Jimmy? - Yeah!

[laughs]

Can't believe that we found you out here, huh?

Good Lord! I-- my Lord in heaven.

[chuckles] I thought--

I thought you were a mirage or somethin',

a flicker in the heat devil. What are you doin' here?

[chuckles] You're allowed to say "devil"?

SAUL: Come on, out here, in the promised land,

I can say a lot of words.

I can even say "damn".

As in it has been too damn long!

Oh! [both chuckle]

Oh, man, look at you!

- Yeah. - You smell like flowers.

[spits]

- Oh. - Oh, hey, sweetheart.

[whistles]

SAUL: Genesis, inside! So, where you been?

Uh, you know, work.

- Lot of travelin' and-- - Sure, work, work, work,

work, work, work!

Mm! That fancy life, huh?

JIM: Mm, you know.

Showbiz!

Of course uh, I guess sweepin' up all that ape shit

really isn't all that fancy, is it?

Well, it's not all there's to it, you know?

- Mmhmm. - It's uh,

it's worth it for me.

SAUL: Is it?

I'm not so sure now when the beast in the box

keeps you from the man on the cross.

[Jim chuckling]

That's-- that's why I never did showbiz, you know?

- JIM: Oh. - I could've.

I mean we both know I had the talent.

[sighs]

Then the man called.

Oh, the man called and you heard.

SAUL: And he led me to places of need.

There's a lot of need out here, huh?

[spits]

Come on, let's get a beer. Let's go. Come on!

[chuckles]

[sighs]

SAUL: ♪ Jimmy, crack corn and I don't care ♪

I'm just gonna be a sec, Bobby, okay?

So, why don't you uh, tell me what you're really doing here,

huh?

Uh, oh, I'm-- I'm good. Thanks.

Uh, I'm really here, because you know,

when Esther told me where you were,

I couldn't pass without sayin' "hello".

Hello.

You know, I wanted to see what you've been

up to since I saw you

and it seems like things are goin' real well, huh?

It's impressive.

And just uh, you know, well, I wanted to just have a chat

about the loan.

[chuckles] There it is. I see it.

That is why you didn't call me in advance!

You figured you'd just show up here and corner me.

- No, no, no, it's not-- - Start talkin' about loan.

No, no, it's not about cornering you, you know?

Uh, it's just it's been almost two years.

- SAUL: Mmhmm. - And you said you'd pay us

back and I'm just here to talk about that, you know?

I thought we can have a conversation about--

Jimmy, Jimmy! Come on, Jimmy, I told you that I am a man

who pays his debts, didn't I?

But then you haven't paid it back, Saul.

- Any of it. - SAUL: Take a look around.

I'm not exactly ridin' high hog here, okay?

Well, I'm not either.

Please.

Listen, the uh--

[sighs] The network canceled Spanky's contract.

Saul, I'm havin' a real hard time

gettin' us jobs.

Hmm. Mmhmm.

Last year, he had a-- a lung issue.

I had to take out a loan to fix it.

You know, he almost didn't make it, Saul.

And there's the food for him, and the car,

and all the travel that we have to do.

And I don't know what to do. There's a lot of--

- Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy! - [yells]

Shut up! I don't wanna hear it!

[pants]

My God, he rolls in here

lookin' to fill up his collection cup.

It seems to me that he has forgotten

who here serves the shit and who eats it!

No, Saul. No. No, no!

[Saul laughing]

Seems like you've forgotten it, huh?

SAUL: Wooh! [laughs]

Seems like you've forgotten, huh?

Yeah.

You've forgotten a lot of things, huh?

You wear that cross,

call yourself a "minister", the little girls, huh?

[laughs] Fiery! I like it!

JIM: You don't wanna talk to me about this, huh?

- SAUL: No, sir. - You don't wanna talk to me

about what you owe me?

I got nothin' to say to you at all, Jimmy.

JIM: Okay, okay.

Well, maybe you should talk to my friend Bobby.

Ooh, Bobby! Who's Bobby?

Is that your little boyfriend there?

Is he uh, is he your muscle, is he?

You know,

he's gonna tell you more than you're gonna wanna hear.

Hey, Bobby, you should say "hey" to my--

My brother-in-law.

Uh, he-- he was just tellin' me that uh, derringers are for uh,

what'd you say?

Uh, faggots.

Oh, Lord! Hey, friend, I--

I don't know how you got mixed up with Jimmy here,

but you are gonna run fast in the other direction, okay?

I mean this man is no more than an ant

enslaved by an animal!

[chuckles]

Oh.

You know, you might have my sister fooled,

but not me.

I don't know who you are or what you've become,

but I do know this, God hates you.

Deeply.

[chuckles]

You have a good trip.

[Saul chuckling]

Oh, Jimmy.

Bobby!

[Saul chuckling]

Hey, uh, Bobby, can you come down here a sec?

[sighs] Please, just come down here for a second.

[grunts]

Listen um, I was just--

[grunts]

Whoa!

[grunts]

Get in the back!

- Please. - In the back!

- Bobby. - Get in the back!

- In the fuckin' car! - Oh, we got ourselves

a lover's-quarrel. Oh, oh. Oh, no!

JIM: Hey, big fella, it's me. It's okay. Okay.

SAUL: Ooh, you city boys, you like it rough, huh?

- You're okay. - Open the fucking cage!

SAUL: [overlapping speech]

It's okay, okay, okay. I'm with you.

In the cage. In the fucking cage!

Well, thank you, Bobby. Cheers to you.

[Saul chuckling]

SAUL: Oh. Oh, come on now, Bobby. Calm down.

Hey, Bobby. Hey. Hey! Come on now.

Hey, I'm a man of the cross! No!

[gun shots]

[chimpanzee noises]

Fuck!

[chimpanzee noises]

[♪♪♪]

JIM: Bobby, what-- what did you do?

Bobby, please.

What did you do?

Please be reasonable, huh?

Let-- let me out of here!

[Jim grunting]

JIM: I can barely breathe here.

Okay. It's okay.

It's okay. It's just-- It's our friend Bobby.

[sighs]

Just admit it.

What?

You know goddamn well what I'm talkin' about, Jim.

You used me.

I mean you wanted to rattle God Almighty back there,

so you trotted me out like an ape on skates.

This your plan all along?

Listen, I-- I didn't do anything until he got violent with me.

And I needed help.

And I thought you could help me. That's all.

That's all. I thought you could help me, okay?

You said we had a deal.

We-- we do!

BOBBY: You said you're a straight shooter.

JIM: I am!

But you're not.

JIM: Bobby, Bobby, listen to me.

I thought you could help me, okay?

I-- I never did anything, I never planned it.

No, no, Bobby, we-- we can talk about it out there, huh?

Just-- just open the cage, huh?

Please, Bobby!

Bobby?

[Luis sobbing]

Say, why are you bouncing?

There's no-- no-- there's no need to bounce.

Hey! Hey, hey, hey! Stop fuckin' bouncin'?

You speak English?

Yes, sir. My family, they...

Oh, your family. Yeah.

[sighs]

Yeah, we all got family.

[groans]

I had a dad.

Used to beat me with a 34-inch Louisville Slugger.

[grunts]

I remember coming home one day...

[sobs]

And all I saw was red.

[sobs]

That fucker beat my mother so bad,

and I thought he repainted the walls.

[sobs]

You ever seen anything like that?

[sobs]

You see, the problem is

I just don't know what to do with you yet.

[pants]

[sighs]

Hey.

[sniffles]

[screams]

You lyin' fucker!

Goddammit, you sneaky bastard!

Oh, fake cryin' on me, motherfucker!

[cries]

BOBBY: Fuck you.

[takes a deep breath]

[sighs]

BOBBY: You just don't get it, do you, Jim?

I turned a corner when I got on this road.

I realized I was tired.

Tired of people, tired of the sneering,

jabbering, the lying.

And I decided if I catch a liar lyin' to me...

...well...

[sighs]

[♪♪♪]

So, we gonna be straight with each other from here?

Mmhmm?

[grunts]

[takes breath]

Say, we have any more bumps on this road,

I'm gonna crush your little ring and feed it to Spanky.

I'm sorry, Bobby.

[pants]

You deserve respect.

And-- and respect means honesty. Always.

I know.

Don't get too comfy here.

We're just makin' a pit-stop, okay?

Can you dance?

I-- yeah.

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Drivin' home tonight ♪

♪ All of the stars ain't shinin' too bright ♪

♪ Although, I know you're right ♪

Can I use this?

Sure, yeah.

[Bobby clearing his throat]

What do you think?

A real man about town, huh?

Um, you look fine.

I mean you-- you could look better.

Better?

[clears throat]

♪ Just tell me you'll be mine ♪

Come here.

♪ Tell me you'll be mine ♪

MAN OUTSIDE BATHROOM: Hey! What's going on in there?

Try it. We'll just be a minute.

♪ Just tell me you'll be mine ♪

♪ Tell me you'll be mine ♪

[grunts]

♪ Tell me you'll be mine ♪

Okay, let me see.

Hi, I'm Jim. You seen my monkey?

Oh, I wouldn't go that far.

[chuckles]

But you know, it's a little bit different,

you know?

It's a good color.

- Here. - Mm-mm.

Cologne's for queers. Mm-mm.

But that's not true.

Smell it.

Just smell it.

You're tellin' me that doesn't smell nice?

Yeah?

[grunts]

[sniffles]

And we kind of uh, you know, complement each other

a little bit.

Both wearin' sweaters. I mean...

Yeah. [clears throat]

You don't have a tie on, but that's more my speed.

That looks good, too.

Thanks. You, too.

Come on, Tulsa. Let's dance.

♪ Tell me you'll be mine ♪

♪ And my heart will surrender ♪

♪ Tell me you'll be mine ♪

I'm-- I'm coming.

♪ Tell me you'll be mine ♪

BOBBY: What do you mean program switch?

It's not my program.

[chuckle]

BOBBY: This is Rodney's, right?

Yeah, okay.

So, you go to Tulsa, you go to Rodney's.

You go to Rodney's, you go ballroom dancing.

Says it on your sign.

It says on the fuckin' pencil! "Rodney's Ballroom Dancing."

TUX: We still offer ballroom dancing, sir.

Tuesdays, Thursdays, every other Saturday.

- This is the other Saturday. - Oh, fuck. So, what's--

Okay, what's-- what's the program tonight then?

The rock and roll program, sir.

I'm gonna take this pencil

and I'm gonna stab it in your fuckin' eyes!

Have a good night.

Bobby.

Hey, you said you liked rock and roll.

That ain't the point.

You can't meet a girl at rock and roll.

It's too damn loud.

You have a girl.

South Haven, homecoming, the party?

I know, I ]-- I just wanna talk.

You actually gotta meet somebody first

to talk to 'em.

Well, you can still do that.

I'm not---

I'm not the kinda guy just go up to somebody.

You know, I-- I got-- I gotta have a thing first.

You can still do that.

[indistinct chatter]

[indistinct lyrics]

Go on, buddy. Say "hello" for Bobby.

[chuckle together]

Oh, my God! Oh! Oh.

WHITNEY [laughs]: Oh.

AMY: Oh, hello.

- This is Spanky. Say "hi". - GIRLS: Hi.

- WHITNEY: How're you, Spanky? - Spanky!

Say "hi". [chuckles]

- WHITNEY: Adorable! - AMY: Nice to meet you.

[chuckle together]

- Yeah. - He really wanted to meet us?

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

When Spanky really truly likes someone,

he smiles in this um, really particular way

and um, he shows every tooth.

[laugh together]

Yeah, that's exactly what he did when he saw the two of you,

you know?

Same as with my good friend here.

This is so cool.

We got his doll right now in our basement.

- JIM: Uh-huh. - [chuckle together]

So, you're saying we can...

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, you can smoke in front of him.

Just don't give him one, 'cause I'm sure he's gonna ask.

[chuckle together]

JIM: But uh, you know, just-- just be relaxed

like you're at the drive-in with your boyfriend.

Oh, we don't got boyfriends. Daddy won't allow it.

He's super-strict.

And he'll be coming by the theater later

to pick us up.

[clicks tongue] Psst. Come here.

Hey, you shouldn't call him uh, "Spanky the Chimp".

You should call him "Spanky the Pimp", huh?

[chuckles]

Okay.

[both chuckle]

So, you're gonna talk like you wanted?

Yeah, just gotta figure out which one I'll have first.

Hey, you said you wanted to talk.

Yeah, I wanna talk.

I wanna ask 'em some specific questions, you know?

Talking is just one part tonight's festivities.

[both chuckle]

Hey, I cannot be a part of some--

Some depraved scheme

to get these girls.

Oh, you can.

Jim, I think it's time for you to stop bein' Mr. Tight Ass,

start bein' Mr. Fun.

Ladies!

Oh.

What do you say we uh, give daddy a call

and tell him we're gonna get a ride home

with our classmates?

[Bride and groom chuckling]

- BRIDE: [indistinct speech] - I can't believe we did that.

[screams & chuckles]

Go ahead, grab the door, darlin'.

JIM: Well, that's just not how-- that--

That's just not how it works. I'm sorry.

MAN ON PHONE: Okay [indistinct speech] I discussed it with my team

and it's just not

- the right time right now. - Well, then,

I guess we're not your team. Okay.

MAN ON PHONE: Oh, don't look at it that way.

Listen, you have a good day, alright? I'll talk to you--

You, too. Thanks for your time. Okay.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, no, no, no.

I-- I still have the skates, the same exact ones.

You can strap 'em right on him.

He's-- he's as fast as a Cadillac.

Yeah, I'm-- I'm not sure who told you he cradles infants.

That-- that is not correct.

WOMAN ON PHONE: Look, even if I believe you--

That is not correct.

I-- I can call you next month. Sure.

ALAN: You know I love you and Spanky.

I'm sorry. I wish I could do more.

- Okay. Thanks, Alan. - ALAN: Mmhmm. Yeah.

Take care. Hmm, Bye-bye.

Yeah, all the best to you, too. O-- okay.

[sighs]

So, uh, no boyfriends, huh?

Amy says she can wait till college.

I can't.

That's 'cause Whitney won't get in to college.

So, your dream-boat guy, what's he uh,

you know, what's that guy look like?

The two Ms.

Mantle and Maris?

Money and muscles.

Hmm.

So, that's what does it for chicks now, huh?

Money and muscle.

Not me. I like Paul McCartney.

Oh, yeah? He in your class?

[both chuckle]

Yeah, I sit next to him in home ec.

Well, so, say, um, say,

you and this guy Paul,

you been goin' steady for a while.

Amy, uh, you decide to end it with him,

but you know, Paul really likes Amy.

He wants to get back together with you. What--

What can a guy like Paul do?

Gin!

[chuckles]

I never lose at cards.

[♪♪♪]

- ESTHER: Hello? - Oh, hello.

ESTHER: Yes?

Did uh, Saul call?

[sighs]

ESTHER: Of course, he called. What do you think, Jim?

Oh, uh, hmm. He-- what did he say?

ESTHER: Some crazy man in the car with you.

Oh, uh, alright, yeah, yeah, I did have someone with me,

but it's just someone who needed a ride and he's--

ESTHER: He had a gun, Jim.

No, no, no, he's a really nice fella.

ESTHER: He almost shot Saul.

So, I don't think you have to worry about it at all.

ESTHER: I'm way past worrying. How could you even do this

to my brother? I can't even trust you anymore.

I'll make it real simple.

If you're not here in time tomorrow

to complete the deal that I made for us,

it's gonna be you making that--

Uh, okay, I'll call you tomorrow, okay?

- I love you. - ESTHER: Yeah, right.

But I gotta go.

ESTHER: This is the final straw, Jim.

- We'll be done. - Bye.

-ESTHER: I mean done. The end.

[indistinct conversation, yelling]

JIM: Now, what is goin' on?

- There's nothing goin' on. - Your friend, he grabbed her.

Jim, she touched my arm. She grabbed-- she was ho--

We need to leave now.

Our father works for the mayor

and we're gonna tell him everything.

You know, I n-- I never get a chance to talk to women.

We're done talking.

We might start screaming, though.

- No. Bobby. - Really? Really?

Why don't you try it then, you smarty little bitch?

- Stop. Bobby! Hey! - [both gasp]

Calm down, Bobby. Settle down.

[thudding]

I-- I'm sorry, ladies, about my friend.

But do we look like the kind of guys

that would do anything to upset anybody?

Yeah, you do. Couple of creeps.

Specially him.

Alright, uh, alright, I wasn't here,

so I don't know what happened, but I-- I do know--

[pants]

[puffing smoke]

That-- that he is just stayin' in character.

I mean you do know who that is, don't you?

You seen that program Route 66? On television?

Remember two seasons ago? That's him!

You know, they say he could be the next James Dean.

And well, he could. I mean look at him, right?

And we were just tryin' to have a nice night out in Tulsa

to do research for him.

'Cause he's gonna have to go back to the show uh,

next season recurring.

So, we -- we were just doin' some research and--

And I think maybe he just got a little carried away

is all.

So, why don't we um, just get these cards back up

and um, maybe we could just play some more gin, right?

Nice and easy.

And then we could uh, we'll tell you anything

that you wanna know about workin' in television.

Really?

Yeah, we can um, we could just deal into another um,

another hand of gin if you-- if you want.

- Sure. - Yeah.

Okay, good.

[Bobby sniffles]

JIM: So, what'd you wanna ask them?

Or was that just your way of gettin' them here?

You see, Bo-- Bonnie was my girl and--

And she decided that she didn't wanna be my girl anymore.

Said I was a nobody.

So, you wanted advice

from some other girls about yours?

[sighs]

You ever think about

tryin' to be a little less forceful?

I mean just not as um,

quick-tempered.

Maybe instead you could try to be a little more gentle.

I'm just saying.

That might be the kind of advice a girl would give you.

Mm-mm. Nah.

Nah, I'm-- I'm gentle.

I am. I'm-- I'm gentle.

I-- I am gentle when I wanna be.

(WHISPERING) Watch this. Shh.

How's that for gentle?

[kisses]

Was that gentle?

How's that for gentle?

[kisses]

That's gentle.

[kisses]

[gulps]

[car passing by in background]

[grunts]

[dog barking in distance]

[Jim puffing smoke]

(♪♪♪)

BOBBY: Come on, let's go. Tonight's the night.

JIM: Shh, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby.

BOBBY: We gotta keep moving.

[takes deep breaths]

BOBBY: What? The whiskey or the cigarettes?

[takes deep breaths]

♪ When the sadness fills your heart ♪

♪ And sorrow hides the longing to be free ♪

♪ When things go wrong each day ♪

♪ You fix your mind to escape your misery ♪

[grunts]

♪ Your troubled young life ♪

You okay?

You know, the highway will settle me down.

Well, come on, we gotta get rollin'.

Yeah.

[engine starts]

♪ How strange, your happy words ♪

♪ Have ceased to bring a smile from everyone ♪

♪ How tears have filled the eyes ♪

♪ Of friends that you once had walked among ♪

♪ Your troubled young life ♪

♪ Had made you turn ♪

♪ To a needle of death ♪

[Spanky making calm noises]

♪ One grain of pure white snow ♪

♪ Dissolved and blood spread quickly to your brain ♪

[laughs]

♪ In peace your mind withdraws ♪

♪ Your death so near your soul can't feel no pain ♪

BOBBY: Hey, look at this. Almost home.

I just saw it in his back pocket.

Gave him a nickel for it.

Fucker didn't tell me it was yesterday's.

Okay, well, you're gonna have to pay for this, too.

[sighs]

But you have the money.

Oh, I'm not payin' for this.

Bobby, you're just gonna...

No. You are just gonna...

Just uh, Jim, clear your head, you know?

Think of some normal like um,

like givin' Spanky a sponge bath.

- Okay? - Hey, Bobby, don't do--

BOBBY: Jim, we gotta move.

We gotta get goin'.

There's this uh, diner in St. Louis,

world-famous pancakes.

[indistinct lyrics]

[indistinct chatter]

[licks fingers]

[slurps, gulps]

It's good stuff, huh?

Yeah.

It does the trick, I suppose.

BOBBY: I'm not talkin' about the drink. I'm talkin' about the lift.

Well, oh, uh, yeah, it was um,

It was something, like a--

Like a feeling you know, walkin' past the clerk,

makin' it to the curb, I-- I--

Hmm. Yeah, I know, I know.

You know, sometimes it gives me a hard-on.

Maybe just 'cause I'm thinking about Bonnie, though.

Hey, maybe I should tell her that tonight.

Yeah, maybe I should tell her before I, uh...

[sighs]

JIM: What?

Before you what?

Hmm? Before I give her stuff.

It's her birthday.

See, she's havin' this big birthday party.

That's why I've been uh--

That's why I've been racing back.

Um, figured I'd try to you know, surprise her.

See uh, see what happens.

Have a little uh, a little reckoning.

[gulps]

A reckoning? What does that mean?

I guess.

[clears throat]

This is from Hoover Dam.

Yeah, this one's from uh, from Death Valley.

This one's from Rodney's.

[indistinct speech]

This one is from here.

And I gotta tell you, Jim, these pancakes, not too great.

Kinda doughy.

Well, I guess I won't order any then.

[both chuckle]

[sighs]

Well, I'm gonna give her this stuff, see,

I'm gonna show her the places I been,

the things I seen.

And-- and maybe I won't just be this you know,

a discharged shitkicker from down the road

with a freak for a brother and a drunk for a dad, you know?

Maybe if I give her this stuff, she sees what I've seen,

maybe I can be better.

[clears throat]

[coffee pouring]

JIM: Thank you.

[slurps]

I don't know, man, I don't know. We'll see.

Alright, Bobby, I'm sure she's gonna love all that stuff,

and wanna hear all about your stories, and...

[scoffs]

Sure.

Hey, you are better, Bobby.

You can do whatever it is you wanna do.

Sure. Yeah.

You just decide to do it.

TV star, huh?

Well, why not?

Hey, if I can teach a chimpanzee how to play the piano then...

[chuckles]

...you can do whatever you wanna do.

[chuckles]

You know-- you know, I-- I got other stuff here, too.

Well...

Okay, close your eyes.

Don't peek. Okay.

[sighs]

[clears throat, sniffles]

- Alright, open 'em. - Open 'em?

BOBBY: Yeah, open 'em up. Let's go.

But w-- we're still 300 miles from Chicago.

That's right.

- JIM: Really? - Hmm.

Thanks, Bobby.

[Bobby slurps]

[clears throat]

Thanks.

JIM: Hey, Bobby, while we're at it,

I was wonderin' if I could get somethin' else from you.

You know, in the Chevy.

You know, the uh...

Yeah.

You're not gonna need it anymore, you know?

We said that that you can do whatever it is you wanna do,

so-- so I can take it off your hands for you and...

Um, uh, it-- it was just a thought, you know?

Just a uh, a passing thought.

Uh, I'm-- I'm gonna feed Spanky then I'll see you outside.

Sorry. Um, yeah, alright.

Keep the change.

[opens the door]

Hey, buddy, we got some pancakes.

♪ 1, 2, 3, 4 ♪

[groans]

BOBBY: Fuckin' look at me!

[groans]

BOBBY: I was telling you fuckin' lies!

Let's go! Let's fucking go!

JIM: What?

(♪♪♪)

CRISCO COOK: Fuck out of here!

[cheers] What the hell did you do back there, Bobby?

[Spanky screaming]

That chef was lookin' at me accusatory-like,

so I stabbed him in his fuckin' hands

- is what happened. - Jesus Christ, Bobby!

Jesus is not gonna help him!

[cheers]

(♪♪♪)

BOBBY: Oh, God.

[Spanky screaming]

JIM: Okay, buddy, it's okay.

Hey, hey, um, you know, Spanky hasn't had any food today,

so we're-- we're not goin' 10 feet

until he gets something.

[Spanky continues screaming]

[chimpanzee noises]

BOBBY: Alright.

Alright.

Okay. Here. Here you go.

Okay, I told you eye contact is number one.

I'm makin' eye contact.

Well, you're lookin' at him, but that's not the same thing.

[sighs]

JIM: So, contact is the key word. You wanna lock in--

Okay.

Without fear.

Just friendship.

BOBBY: Hey.

And trust.

Hi.

Hey, this is-- this is yours.

Hey, this is for you.

Okay. Right?

For you. This is yours. It's yours! Take it!

Oh, no. Okay, that-- That is just too fast.

That's okay.

You know, he-- he-- he sees--

[shushes]

Down. Okay.

He sees quick movements as aggression.

So, y-- you wanna move at an even tempo.

It's kinda like you're underwater with him, you know?

[chimpanzee noises]

JIM: No. Bobby, no.

No, like, no. Like, Bobby.

No, you just wanna-- uh-uh.

[shushes]

You just wanna go gentle like just-- like yes, slow but...

And then put it down.

The apple?

Yeah, put it down at his feet.

Then I'm not actually feedin' him.

JIM: It's somethin' better, it's you engagin' him.

See, you're showin' him respect by allowin' him to choose,

and then Spanky will respect you by choosing to eat.

- Yeah, there you go. - BOBBY: Okay.

JIM: Watch, watch it go. See? Yeah, yeah.

[chuckles]

Yeah.

RATSO: Damn, that's a pretty monkey.

He's a chimp!

[scoffs]

Well, see, Bobby, you just fed Spanky, huh?

You see that apple, huh? You want it, huh?

You want me to peel it for you?

Is that good?

- JIM: Yeah. - Yeah I bet it's good.

[chuckles]

BOBBY: Did you see how happy he looked when he was eatin' that apple?

His whole face just lit up when he took a bite, you know?

I mean it was-- it was kinda like he was jerkin' off

- or somethin'. - Oh, kind of.

Well, you know, he-- he does do that.

Huh? He beats off?

I mean you know, sometimes he just uh, you know,

he gets the urge.

[laughs]

It's true.

You know, you should get him

to do it at the gig tonight. That would be pretty funny.

Please, can you imagine how people would react?

I can't believe it. No kiddin', really?

What? Would I lie to you?

Well, you know, as a matter of fact,

you do lie pretty easily.

What?

BOBBY: Come on.

Route 66, TV star, and Jimmy Dean?

I mean that-- that's just show business, right?

Yeah, right. Is that all it is? Showbiz?

Showbiz.

[sighs]

Alright, I wanna get some sleep before the party tonight.

Okay.

You wake me up when we get to Chicago.

[sniffles]

Monkey jerkin' off.

(♪♪♪)

RADIO PRESENTER: [indistinct speech] Good evening, everybody.

It's a beautiful night out here in the windy city of Chicago.

I've got a question

for all my friends and neighbors out here

listening to me right here, right now, if you...

[chimpanzee noises]

JIM: Hey, buddy.

Say "goodbye" to Bobby, huh?

So, are you gonna be uh, you know, alright?

BOBBY: Yeah, yeah. No, I'll be fine.

I'll you know, I'll-- I'll find my way.

JIM: You want a-- you want an apple for the drive?

Uh, yeah. Sure.

(♪♪♪)

BOBBY: Where is it?

What?

BOBBY: You know goddamn well what.

Don't play any games with me. Where the fuck is it?

Well, I-- I-- I threw it away.

While you were sleepin', okay?

You know, I-- I thought it was the best thing to do.

For you.

Bobby, you-- you-- you don't need it.

We-- we got to a point where-- Bobby!

What the fuck!

[grunts]

[Spanky screaming]

[grunting]

[groaning]

[Spanky screaming]

[pants]

[chuckles, coughs]

[chuckles]

[chimpanzee noises]

JIM: Well...

[pants]

...I tried.

[grunts]

God.

[pants]

[sniffles]

[pants]

[grunts]

(♪♪♪)

[taking deep breaths]

JIM: I know, Spanky, we're gonna find him.

[Spanky making noises]

JIM: I know you wanna say "goodbye", buddy.

(♪♪♪)

JIM: Hey-o.

Just run to your damn gig.

[pulls the break]

It's-- it's not a gig.

I just wanna make good on our deal.

I'm not a liar.

BOBBY: Yeah, I don't think that's all.

I think-- I think maybe you wanna run off with me.

Or maybe-- maybe you just want me to kill you.

Put you out of your misery, once and for all.

And w-- w-- what happens to Spanky?

[cars passing in background]

Well, I don't care. I'll kill him, too.

You know, after everything that we've been through,

I have to believe you wouldn't do that.

[sniffles]

This one's autographed.

Sort of.

"Bonnie and Bobby."

[chuckles]

It got quite a ring to it, huh?

I think you and Spanky need to have a proper goodbye.

[door opens]

JIM: Okay [indistinct speech]

Sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit. Yeah, good job, yeah.

[chimpanzee noises]

JIM: Yeah.

Hey. Come on, buddy.

You good?

[kisses]

BOBBY: I guess you completed our deal.

JIM: Guess, I did.

I, uh...

I hate to ask this, but um,

I don't have any money.

Yeah. Yeah, okay. Uh, what do you need?

Gas and uh, you know, food for Spanky.

He hasn't had anything solid today, so...

Of course, yeah, that's-- should be good.

Alright, well, see you later, Jim.

Oh, yeah, um, hang on a second.

It looks really good on you, so...

[chuckles]

Maybe you'll wear it for Bonnie when you-- when you get home.

Stellar threads, huh? Thanks.

[sniffles]

[chimpanzee noises]

JIM: It's okay, buddy. It's okay. Say goodbye to Bobby, huh?

That's right.

BOBBY: See you around, big guy.

[chimpanzee noises]

BOBBY: Aw!

Don't you even think about doin' that to me.

[sniffles]

Take it easy, huh?

Thank you, Jim.

[Bobby sniffling]

(♪♪♪)

[sighs]

[door opening]

[door opens and closes]

[indistinct lyrics in background]

[chimpanzee noises]

Okay. Okay.

SUMA: Impressed?

Um,

it's uh, striking.

It's sickening.

But sometimes sickening is good as a reminder.

JIM: Yeah, reminder.

I-- I don't know if my wife mentioned,

but I-- I did bring um, the apples that he likes,

'cause I thought you know, it would be good for you

to have a supply for a few days, so--

As a reminder of what people are capable of.

Like my parents in the past, killing for trophies.

JIM: Don't you let him guilt you

in to givin' him more than a few at a time,

'cause that's his trick, and-- and then he doesn't feel well,

and then you have to clean up after him, and that--

People who put animals on the stage

and make them dance.

Excuse me?

Pan troglodytes were never meant to dance.

I uh, pan troglodyte?

SUMA: The actual term for a chimpanzee.

Yeah, if you wanna call him a pan troglodyte, but...

[indistinct lyrics in background]

...I think you get farther just callin' him "Spanky".

[calm chimpanzee noises]

I'll get your check.

The price just went up $2,000.

Your wife and I, we made a deal.

Well, I don't see-- see my wife

anywhere around here, do you?

So, you're makin' a deal with me now.

And the price just went up if you want him.

I want all his paperwork. You can send it to my attorney.

JIM: Okay. Did you get new clothes for him?

He is done with clothes now. I'm setting him free.

JIM: Oh, no, no, no, no, Spanky, it's okay.

- SUMA: Oh! - No, no, Spanky. No, no, Spanky.

No, no, no, no. It's okay. No, no. No, no, no! No, no, no, no.

It-- uh, oh! Hey, it's okay. It's okay. It's okay.

It's okay, no, no. It's okay. You're okay.

SUMA: It's okay. It's okay.

[shushes]

It's okay. They can't hurt you anymore.

It's okay. It's okay.

Ow! Stop him! Stop him! Get him!

[screams]

SUMA: Get him!

[Spanky screaming]

JIM: Okay. Okay.

[pants]

Alright, Spanky.

Let's burn.

[engine starts]

NARRATOR: They say there's no wrong time to make the right decision.

Well, I guess there's always an exception to the rule.

[banging the trunk]

[man sobbing]

NARRATOR: That was Bobby.

He never made it to Bonnie in South Haven.

BOBBY: God dammit!

[closes the door]

Now, what's wrong with you, huh?

NARRATOR: Instead, he went back to his old ways,

because some endings are written before they've begun.

[Bobby cheering]

NARRATOR: It all caught up to him.

Two guys heard him talking about the men he murdered

and tipped off the cops.

[pants]

NARRATOR: At least that's what the paper said.

[pants]

[indistinct radio chatter]

BOBBY: You guys keep asking about the five guys

that I killed.

Hell, those fuckers are dead.

Why don't you ask me about the one that I let live?

(♪♪♪)

NARRATOR: As for us, things really turned around again.

We got the show back on the road

with new opportunity and some old tricks.

And that about does it for my story.

[clapping]

[typewriter clacking]

NARRATOR: I'm tellin' you just like I saw it.

You can trust me on that.

[puffs smoke]

♪ He was a friend of mine ♪

♪ Yes, he was a friend of mine ♪

Well, it ends up, the hero from this whole thing

was Spanky.

And I have never in my life picked up a hitchhiker.

But this time I thought, "Well, uh, it's a college kid.

I'll give him a ride."

And we got about halfway across, and out came the gun,

and then the-- the kid that I thought

was just a college kid who was bragging

about how 10 minutes before I picked him up

in that corner by uh, Las Vegas,

he had just murdered a couple that were over the hill

in their car.

When in the hell do I do? Is this kid for real or what?

But with that gun in your ribs the whole time

and you're drivin',

you had to go through a couple of small towns,

and when you stopped at the stop light,

you said, "Let's see, I can jump out now

and run away."

Yeah, but if you do, what's gonna happen to Spanky?

So the kid said later, "if I hurt you,

I'd have to hurt Spanky, and I like Spanky."

And I went, "Oh, that's nice."

[chuckles]

You know, you're goin-- your mind's goin' a mile

and it's trying to figure, "Oh, my God,

how did I get myself into this kind of a mess?"

PETER: Introducing Spanky.

They tell us he's the only chimpanzee in the world

who can ice skate.

[crowd cheering]

PETER: The Simeon star of the flashing blades

has a barrel of tricks.

Barrels that is.

[crowd clapping]

(♪♪♪)

♪ Don't lie to me ♪

♪ I see clearly tonight ♪

♪ Pull me closer ♪

♪ I need closure ♪

♪ In my life ♪

♪ You come, you go ♪

♪ It's like you never seem to know ♪

♪ When I need you the most ♪

♪ When I need you the most ♪

♪ Who does your heart beat for ♪

♪ It's not me anymore ♪

♪ It's not me anymore ♪

♪ Ooh, whoa, oh, oh ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Ooh, whoa, oh, oh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ It's not me anymore ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Flavors fadin' ♪

♪ I can taste it on my lips ♪

♪ Greater places ♪

♪ Find me wasted with a kiss ♪

♪ You come, you go ♪

♪ Feels like I'm sleepin' with a ghost ♪

♪ When I need you the most ♪

♪ When I need you the most ♪

♪ Who does your heart beat for ♪

♪ It's not me anymore ♪

♪ It's not me anymore ♪

♪ Ooh, whoa, oh, oh ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Ooh, whoa, oh, oh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ It's not me anymore ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ There is nothin' to say now ♪

♪ I'm reading your face now ♪

♪ What you feel for me ♪

♪ Ooh, whoa, oh, oh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, whoa, oh, oh ♪

♪ Who does your heart beat for ♪

♪ Ooh, whoa, oh, oh ♪

♪ It's not me anymore ♪

♪ It's not me anymore ♪

♪ It's not me anymore ♪