Original subtitles

Abigail.

'I have had it with you!'

Abigail?

Abigail.

Abigail! Abigail!

Don't say it.

Say what?

The job's too much for me.

Wasn't going to.

You said you needed to be up early.

I am absolutely fine.

I know what day it is, love.

How on earth did we all squeeze into there?

I'll see you downstairs.

Heavy goods vehicle.

Cool. I am on a roll.

Caravan...

Will you please just fuck off?

Oil tanker...

Ah, Dr Robertson! I need your advice.

Would I be able to talk to you about night shifts at some point?

Not right now, Addy, thank you.

Good morning, Constance. Let's get started.

I'd like you to take a look at these.

You're being very assertive today.

Very Helen Mirren.

It's quite sexy.

You need to try and remember anything at all from that night.

I've been looking at the weather reports.

That storm was pretty severe.

The rain would have been blowing across the bridge in strong gusts.

However insignificant, Connie, it doesn't matter.

What is it?

You're not going to throw up again, are you?

I don't think DCI Tennison would have done that.

You still don't get it, do you?

Right now, your alternatives are looking pretty grim.

Life in prison, or life in a psychiatric hospital.

Did you sleep badly?

You're being very irritable. OK.

Ah. I can see that you started on the antidepressants three years ago.

And then in May, you were put on corticosteroids for hair loss

and lorazepam for extreme anxiety and insomnia. Is that correct?

If you say so.

Did you know that hair can fall out from stress?

Or shock.

Can it?

Had something happened?

Just one little question first. Of course.

Who's Kenneth Baines?

OK.

Let's get back to Ness.

What do you want to know?

Did we have sex?

I'm jolly glad to see this.

It's very important, darling...

a healthy sex life.

Yep. Is anyone gonna get that?

God knows, I'm slacking.

Your father and I hardly ever do it these days.

Well, maybe once a fortnight.

It's all right, I'll get it

Hello! How nice to see you!

What's up? Come in, come in.

Are you all right? Um...

Are you all right? What's wrong?

She's gone. Leah's left us.

What? Shit!

Darling, why don't you go upstairs? Annie's up there.

Darling, go on. Connie?

It's all right, Mum.

What happened?

She says she's miserable.

Well, she's always bloody miserable. Mm.

Oh, darling, it's all right.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. It's all right.

I'm gonna be one of those single people

no-one invites to dinner parties.

We'll invite you.

You can have dinner with us every night.

Am I unlovable?

Ness, no, don't be silly. Of course not!

Connie! Connie!

Why doesn't she come?

Who? Ness? No, my mum. Where is she?

I need to see her. I feel all... wobbly without her.

I'll give you something for the anxiety.

Sit down, I'll get you some water.

Where did you get this?

It's mine.

Underneath that chilly veneer, I reckon you've got quite a temper.

What are you so angry about? Don't talk to me like you know me.

You do not know me. No?

I know you got pretty wrecked at dinner on Thursday.

And I know you ordered a bad of cam-free sh“ on Ocado.

I also know when “Si hubby“ has orchestra.

So you can have a furtive fiddle to some MILF-y porn.

Hide notifications, Ems. Schoolgirl error.

- You can be very tedious, Connie. - Oh, "tedious", am I

I'm sorry, have I lost my gloss

Do you think it's inevitable in female friendships

that after all the stories have been told and secrets have been shared,

that a kind of sisterly irritation takes hold?

I'm not your sister, and I'm not your friend.

I'm your forensic psychiatrist.

And let's not forget,

I'm not the one who drove a car into the river...

You've wanted to, though, haven't you?

With children in the back. No!

That is not what fucking happened!

What did fucking happen, then, Connie?! I'm waiting!

There...

I knew you had a temper.

Emma?

Emma Davies?!

Oh, my God - Dougie Thompson!

I thought I recognised that girl!

Do you live round here? Yeah, it's me, Em. You look great!

Oh, I've put on weight and...

I saw your name in the paper. You're working on that case.

Yeah, they should never have got my name.

Amazing work you do. Oh, not sure about that.

Well, you actually make a difference.

You were always gonna do well.

Your mum once told me that you were far too good for me.

Oh, my God. My mother was a racist narcissist.

I still see the old crowd. Seriously?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, Jim, Pete, Sally.

Sally P? Oh! How is she? Oh, she's great.

She's having a birthday party on Friday at The Bell.

You should come. She'd kill me if she knew I'd saw you and didn't ask.

How are you, Dougie? Me? Good. Good.

Yeah, um, married, mortgage, kids. The works. You know. And you?

Yeah.

How many?

Um... just the one, actually.

Sensible. Hm. What flavour?

Girl. Girl.

How (Ad?

She, er...

seven, today, actually. Aw!

Is she, um... is she here? Um... No, she's not. Um...

I've got to go, Dougie.

Yeah, yeah. Are you on Facebook?

No, I'm not, actually. Look, I've gotta go, too.

Get on it! All right, I will.

Get on it.

I can't wait to tell Sally. Bye, Dougie.

Bye... Emma Davies.

I'm very sorry...

for the way that I reacted in our previous session.

It's often difficult for patients to understand, but...

the line has to be kept very clear.

This is a professional relationship.

You try so hard, don't you, Doc?

To do everything right.

To keep everything in its place.

But you know as well as I do that life is a messy business.

So...

did Karl find out about your feelings for Ness?

Questions, questions, questions.

That's my job, asking questions.

Did he?

You don't have to, Connie.

I want to.

Don't you?

Dunno.

What's the matter?

I really don't know. I just, erm...

just feel like, erm...

What?

Just feel like I fell in love with you all those years ago

because you were this livewire.

This artist, with big dreams.

Full of energy. Wildness.

Wow.

I notice you're using the past tense!

Well, yeah, bubs.

Sometimes I feel like I might have clipped your wings.

You haven't, Karl. I've...

I've just had to grow up.

Don't you feel like you're not living any more,

you're just going through the motions?

Maybe it's the antidepressants.

I think they make me feel a bit numb.

Yeah, that's it, numb. I feel numb.

Don't you wanna feel alive again?

Are you having an affair?

No, I'm not having an affair.

But you fancy other people?

Well, do you?

Yes.

Now you.

Yeah.

OK, well...

I mean, we shouldn't beat ourselves up about it.

It's natural after 15 years together.

You're brilliant, you are.

God, why are these things so hard to talk about?

Hm?

Admit it, Con...

you've always held a torch for that professor bloke,

Jonathan Hapgood, haven't you?

He said...

he said What?!

He said he thought that we should take lovers.

Well, say something! You seem...

disapproving?

Hm, no, it just sounds like Karl's trying to have his cake and eat it.

Maybe.

But this could be really good for me as well.

It means I'll be...

I'm available.

So... what?

You gonna get in touch with him?

Your old professor?

Polly, no, can you not snatch that off Annie, please?

Can you give it back? Thank you.

Wow! Connie de Cadenet.

Wow, indeed, Professor Jonathan Hapgood.

It's so good to see you. You, too.

Please. Thanks.

Er, wine? Yes, please.

Well, you look stunning. Thank you very much.

And I thought I was going to be overdressed for this interview,

but you look spectacular. I thought I'd make an effort.

It's appreciated. Thank you.

Cheers. Cheers.

Listen, I'd better go.

W hy?

It has been a lovely evening.

I can't.

OK. Why not?

I'm kinda seeing someone.

Oh! Like, it's fairly new.

Oh, right.

I'm sorry, I should've said something. It's just...

I thought you wanted to write an article?

I do, I absolutely do.

I should go. Connie...

Yeah. I should go.

Connie...

Leave a message, and I'll get back to you when I can.'

Hey, Karl, it's me. I guess you're still at work.

Look, I know we agreed not to talk about the details,

but that was such a disaster.

Now I feel like an idiot. I mean, what was I thinking?

OK, well, I'll talk to you about it when I see you.

OK. Um, love you. Bye.

H ello?

I'm home.

Can you turn that off now, please?

'Hi, it's Vanessa. 'Fraid I'm busy right now,

'but if you leave me a message, I'll get back to you.'

Thanks, Billie. Where's Annie?

She's dressing up. OK, thank you. I'll see you soon.

Mum, can Billie stay for one more game? No, she can't, Josh.

And I want you to clean up this mess before you go to bed.

Idiot.

Mum!

Mum?

Mummy?

Polly and I are going to be Catholics.

I thought you were Buddhists?

Yes, but Catholics are into blood and stuff.

Annie-pops, promise me you won't wear this nun's costume outside?

Josh says nuns do sex with Jesus' peanuts.

Penis. Singular.

Karl?

Hello?

Sorry, darling.

It's a really bad line. Hang on.

Hold on. Hello.

'Oh, baby, oh...'

Hi, baby, I can't... I can't hear you properly.

Hello. 'Oh, that's so good. It's so good.'

'Oh, you're the best.'

'Oh, that's so good.'

'Yeah, yeah. Oh, my God.'

'No, no, stop, stop, stop.

'I have to fuck you. Come here, come here.'

Oh, my God.'

'You're so beautiful, Ness.

'Oh! You're so good.'

'Oh, my God.' 'Closer, Ness. Oh, yeah, like that.

'Don't stop, don't stop.' 'Yeah.'

'Closer, closer.'

Hi.

I left you a message. Did you?

How was work? Erm...

Yeah, good. We, erm... met in the pub, actually.

Fatal.

Which one? Coach And Horses.

Did they have a lock-in? Yeah.

You didn't stop in anywhere on your way home? Nah.

Not even Ness's?

Yeah, erm, just briefly. Her boiler was up the spout again.

And while you were fixing it,

you fell over and your cock accidentally slipped into her mouth?

What? Your phone rang me.

You stupid prick!

How could you do that to me?! Hey! Keep your voice down.

Oh! I don't ask What you're up to,

you're out shagging that Hapgood bloke. Wrong!

And that is not even the point!

This was the agreement, wasn't it? Why should you mind?

Because she's my best friend!

I knew it. You were never gonna hack this.

Whoever I chose. Oh, I was.

I fucking was. Just not HER!

So, that was the shock... Doc.

And that was when my hair thought, "That's it. I'm of"

How long do you think that kite's been stuck up there,

all tangled up like that?

'Throw away the key, I say.'

Thanks for your call, Jamie.

'Ewan from Gravesend has texted in to tell us

”chat people like Mortensen are known as family annihilators.

'I've got a question. Normally, they're men, right?

'But is this just because in most divorce cases...?' Shut up.

'Hi, this is Simon Robertson's voicemail. Please leave a message.'

Erm... Hi, it's me. Er...

I thought I was going to be early, but...

it's OK, I'll meet you there.

I've got something to say.

A letter arrived on Tuesday from Kenneth Baines.

It arrived Tuesday?

Do you think he knew the date?

I'll give it to you later. I haven't read it yet. I...

wanted to wait until we were together.

Who's that?

Do you have it here with you?

Not now.

Go on.

What does he want?

He wants to meet.

No.

No.

Come on.

I...

I can't remember where we are in our relationship.

We're at the end.

Oh.

How are Josh and Annie?

Brought you some magazines and stuff.

Bye.

I've got to go.

'It was as if he wished he'd never met me.'

But I'm the mother of his children.

You know what really got me?

It was the fact that I'd been left out.

The two people closest to me had started a club without me.

I felt like such a fool.

Thank God you had your mum.

Horse. Apple. Tuesday.

Horse. Apple. Tuesday.

That's it. All right, Mrs de Cadenet.

Erm... What day of the week is it today?

Tuesday.

No, it's Thursday, Mum.

But that's not really fair, because you just said Tuesday.

Don't worry. It's OK.

Erm... What might I put up in the rain?

A shelter. You could light a fire. OK. All right.

And what is nine plus five?

Nine plus five...

Come on, Julia, you know this.

It's all right, don't worry.

And what are the three words I asked you to remember?

Come on, Mum. Think of...

galloping across the fields.

Starlight! Starlight.

She had a pony called Starlight. That counts, right?

Yes, very good. You're doing really well, Mum.

I think I need the loo.

It's just through that door there, first on the left.

Well, we...

It's OK to say you're not coping, Connie.

I feel so low!

Despite the anti-depressants?

I'm so tired.

I haven't slept in nine days. My hair is falling out.

My chest feels like it's exploding.

We have something for the hair loss, no problem.

And the insomnia is also anxiety, Connie.

I've got just the thing for you.

Lorazepam.

Between you and me, Leah Worthington swears by these little beauties.

# Why does the sun go on shining? #

'Beauties was the right word.'

'I felt like someone had taken my brain out of my aching skull

'and put it in a warm, soapy bath.'

# Cos you don't love me Any more... #

'It's massaged away all the pain.'

# Why do the birds go on singing? #

'But I don't need to tell you that, do I, Doctor?

'How the second one is never quite the same.'

You're always chasing that elusive feeling...

until you find you need a pill just to feel normal.

And then right when you really, really...

need to ask for help...

you don't have the strength to do it.

Can we stop now?

I don't want to do any more. Of course.

You've done really, really well.

Emma...

who is Kenneth Baines?

He's a lorry driver.

Hello?

Hello, Mrs de Cadenet?

Hello? The door's open.

Are you here for the books? Er, no, I'm...

I tried the front door. I left a few messages.

I'm Emma Robertson, Connie's doctor. What?

Is Mrs de Cadenet in?

We were having a clear-out.

It's so hard, deciding.

Yes. Yes, it is.

Is it just you in, then?

'Fraid so.

Let me help you with that.

Here.

Would you like me to get that?

Oh, I never answer the phone.

You're here to collect the books?

No, I... I'm here to talk about Connie.

I'm her psychiatrist.

Of course you are.

'This is Julia de Cadenet...'

Terrible.

It's... terrible.

Although I'm more than happy to take some bags to the charity shop,

if that would help?

Karl said you call it...

something fancy.

Connie's condition. Yes. Dissociative amnesia.

It's a mechanism that the brain has to cope with trauma.

Like locking events away in a box and then burying the box.

Sounds damn sensible to me.

What good does more pain do?

But I just don't understand this.

How could she do that?

Those poor little girls!

Well...

that's what we're trying to find out, Mr de Cadenet.

We must have done something terribly wrong!

No, no, you did nothing wrong.

Perhaps it might help to visit her.

I can't. I wouldn't know what to say to her.

Julia always knows what to do when things go wrong.

Well, where is she? I told Connie I'd bring her mother to visit.

Where is she?

She's dead.

Julia died before all this.

Thank God!

I am so sorry.

He's in urgent need of home care.

He's showing signs of confusion and living in squalor,

and I need to know what's being put in place.

Please call me on this number as soon as possible.

Phil?

No, I'm not.

Why was this not on our notes, for Christ's sake?

Her mother had just died.

Didn't somebody perhaps think that that might be a contributory factor?

Ah, Doctor! Did you mention the night shifts?

Leave us alone.

Sit down, Connie.

Connie...

do you remember your mother died six weeks ago?

Did I know this?

Yes, you did.

She took a lot of paracetamol accidentally.

Just kept forgetting that she'd taken them.

What was her name?

What was whose name?

Your daughter.

Please keep my daughter out of this.

How can I...

when your grief runs through every syllable you utter?

We are the wrecked people.

You and I.

Abigail.

Abigail.

Happy birthday!

You look great. Thank you.

Do you want a drink? Yeah, I'll have one. Thank you.