All language subtitles for ChadGetstheAxe.2022.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

[Up-tempo music playing]

Downloaded from
YTS.MX

-Hey, yo, Spice Squad!

I am here at
the old paper warehouse,

Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

where, legend has it,

a psychotic janitor was
let go from his job,

and was so pissed off,
he went on a killing spree.

Legend also has it that
his ghost still roams

this very property!

Guess we'll find out if he's
here tonight, Spice Squad.

Let's rack up some views.
Here we go.

[Laughs]

Holy crap.

Hold on,
you all have to see this.

For a place haunted
by a janitor,

this place sure is messy.

Mr. Clean! Hello!

Are you home? Anyone in here?

What the --

Yo, dude!

Hold on.

Okay, screw it.

[Laughs]

Good news, guys,
there's no killer janitor here.

Bad news, God,
his shoes sure as hell are.

[Sniffs, gags]

Smells like janitors'
jock strap.

Or is the proper term
"custodian" these days?

Come on. [Laughing] Holy crap.

Yo, 10k? Come on, guys,
let's get this thing trending.

Share, share. Send this
to your friends, your family.

What other Live Life
streamer is taking you

through a haunted
paper warehouse,

risking their life?
No one.

Okay.

Let's see what's around here.

[Laughing] Holy crap.

[Sighs] Yes.

And this completes
the janitor's cosplay set.

Beautiful.
What's behind door number one?

It's Spicy Steve!
[Laughs]

[Sighs]

What the hell?

That's definitely
not a coat hanger.

-[Muffled yelling]
-Oh, God!

[Crying] No, please, please,
please, don't hurt me, please!

-Gotcha, bitch! [Laughs]

My props to Big Tony
for the assist.

Go Team Chony!
-What the hell, dude?

-Oh, my God, did you just piss
your pants?

-No, I did not piss my pants.
-Did you really?!

He did!
-Shut up!

-I told you I was gonna punk
his ass.

-Turn this off.
-He's literally crying, look.

[Mouse clicks]

[Mouse clicking, man sighs]

-* Boy, no Shot, no gimmick,
no give me luck *

* No playing, go get it,
no giving up *

* No gas? Get a mask,
like give it up *

* Gotta get it,
gotta kill it, like fill it up *

* No drop, no wait, no hold on

* Cocked back, let it go,
like so long *

* Black suit, black tie,
with a slow song *

* Come through, clean 'em up,
put the soap on 'em *

* No quit, no wait,
no stopping *

* Pull it, pop it, flip it,
cop it *

* No bull, no wait, no --

-* Better than a champ
-* What

-* Better than a champ
-* What, what

-* You're a Chad
-* What

-* C-C-Chad
-* What

-* C-C-Chadpion
-* What?

Yo, it's your boy, Chad Ryan,
coming at you

from my beautiful neighborhood
here in heavenly Santa Monica,

right before I take my trip
into hell.

That is right, Chadpions,

the journey into Devil's Manor
is finally here.

But I will not be taking
this quest alone, though.

Oh, no, no, no.
We got Spennifer tagging along.

So if we need
an acoustic love song

or a makeup tutorial,
we're all set.

Along with my main man,
Spicy Steve.

Now, Spencer and Jennifer

are gonna be on the Spennifer
Live Life stream --

you can file that
under no shit --

while I am gonna be
with Steve on his stream.

Yes, you heard that right,
Chadpions.

I have agreed to let Steve run
the show this one time,

but don't you worry.

I'll be there to make sure he
doesn't cry like a little baby
--

[Steve sighs, mouse clicks]

You can find all the products
that we used today

up in my bio,
so go ahead and click that link.

Anyway, that concludes our...
-Both: Devils Manor glow up.

-...this little prank war
going on with Chad.

-Yeah...
-So people think we're,

you know,
trying to do something.

-Everybody -- Yeah,
everybody just keeps asking.

They're like, you know,
are we gonna pop up

to Devil's Manor
and try to scare them?

It's like, you know...
-I mean, I get it.

It's the perfect set up
for guys like us.

-It is.
-But do you really think
we're crazy enough to fly

out all the way to Louisiana,
like,

just to play a prank
on Chad Ryan?

I mean, come on.
-Yeah.

-Definitely. We're definitely
crazy enough to do it.
-Absolutely.

-But I'm just not --
[Chat notifications pinging]

[Typing]

[Sighs]

[Dinging]

-Tomorrow night is the night.

We are going to Devil's Manor.

It is gonna be hella scary!

Scary -- Not that I get scared.

I -- I -- I don't get scared,
I -- I -- I -- Um...

[Sigh] Damn it.

Spice. Spice.
[Dinging]

What's up, Spice Squad?

It's the one,
the only Spicy Steve --

the man, the myth, the legend.

And I'm here to remind you
that tomorrow night,

it's finally here.
And guess what?

That's right,
we are going to Devil's Manor.

You are not gonna
want miss this

because, boy, you are in
for a treat.

We have got Chad Ryan,
Jennifer Ortiz,

and Spencer Logan
coming along with me.

It's like the Avengers
of social media.

And they're all coming
along with me

to my hometown in Louisiana
for a little road trip to hell.

So tell your family, tell
your friends, tell your priest,

because you are
not gonna want to miss this.

I'll see you all tomorrow,
8:00 p.m. sharp.

Steve out.

[Clicking]

[Sighs]

[Notifications pinging]

Yes.

[Click]

-Whoa! [Laughs]
Look who it is.

Just a few influencers
in the wild.

-There he is.
-Oh, Chad Ryan, look at you.

[Smooching]
-You look so, so cute.

-Ooh, Jen, look --
-That is so excessive,
these highlighter colors, ew.

-I'm sexy, okay?
-Awful.

-Where the hell we going?

-We're not going anywhere.
-About the time I got here.

-This is crazy.
-Yeah, I don't know
what time it is now.

-This would never happen in L.A.
-Okay.

[People cheering]

-Jesus. My hair and
my eyelashes are gonna fly off!

Honey!
-I swallowed a skeeter.

-Ugh!

-[Whispering indistinctly]

-Hi-yah!

-[Screaming]

-You guys, I am so sorry.

[CHeeky D's "The Kangaroo"
plays]

-* It's time to put in work

* Better now before I get put
in the dirt *

-* Baby, I've been thinkin',
thinkin', thinkin' 'bout you *

* When the light's out

* Mmm, I'm still thinkin' 'bout
you, where you at now? *

[Indistinct vocalizing]

*

[Screams]

Are you not entertained?

-Where do you --
Where do you even get this?

-Internet, brother.

-Hey, guys, it's your boy,
Chad Ryan.

I'm an actual piece of shit.

-Okay, Stevie's turn.
Now it's Stevie's turn.

-I can't see. I can't see!
-[Screaming]

[Laughter]
-I actually couldn't see.

-Oh, good.
-We love that.

-Here's a little sample
of my latest single,

"Swipe Right on My Heart."
-[Chuckles] You're so cute.

-* Swipe right on my heart
and swipe left on your doubts *

* All we need is our love
to figure this out *

-No stop, don't. Dude.
-* Swipe right on my ass

* Swipe left on my dick

* All I need is for you
to give my ballsack a lick *

-Enough. Enough.
Hey, hey, hey.

-Alright, that's enough.
-Okay.

-The golden hour's right here.
Look, I can see it.

-Yeah, more like golden shower.
Zing-a-da-ling.

-Stop. You really gotta
go there all the time.

-Ew.
-What?

-Alright, that's kinda cool.
-You guys, we're not into
piss kink stuff?

-Would you do it?
-Yeah.

-Yeah? Have you done it?
-How many followers?

[Laughter]

-Steve, I should've
probably asked you this earlier,

but what does the bathroom
situation look like?

-Well, the closest town is,
like, an hour away, so trees.

-Oh, yeah, I love that for me.
That's awesome. Thanks.

-Ayo, Chadpions, it's your boy,
Chad Ryan,

and we are how far out?
-Quarter mile.

-Quarter mile away
from Devil's Manor, bitches.

It's about to get hunky-gory,
if you know what I'm saying.

Best watch out Satan,
because I'm cumming.

-Want a less R-rated,
crude version?

Go ahead and look at us
on our Spennifer channel.

It's gon' be hot, it's gon' be
sexy, it's gon' be cute, ah!

-So maybe R rated?
-A little.

-Can't make any promises though.

[Rock 'n' roll music plays]

*

Alright, it's --
it got dark so fast.

-It's here somewhere.
Oh, is this it?

-Yes. Whoo!
-Okay, great.

-Alright, let's flip the stream.
-Wait, no, no, no.

Dude, we still gotta drive
a little further up.

-No, no, no, let's walk.
We gotta build anticipation.

-Now you want to walk?
-Yeah, buddy.

-I think I have a great opening.

-Wait, hold on.

Alright.

-Yo, yo, yo, dude, alright,
so I think I'm gonna, like --

-Does everyone have
their flashlight?

-Yeah.
-Okay.

-I'm gonna start, like -- God,
I can't see anything,

-I'm gonna go over here.
-I'm gonna start on
the woods, right?

And then I'll turn it
around on us, right?

You know, like a reveal.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Love that shit, bro.

Love that shit. Let's roll.
-Alright.

-What is up Spice Squad?
It's your boy, Spicy Steve,

and this is my 533rd day
of consecutive content and --

-And your man, Chad Ryan,

is also along for the ride
here at Devil's Manor, bitches.

Where we're going so far
up Satan's ass,

he's gonna need an enema
to get us out.

-Yeah.

-Shout out to my main man,
Spicy Steve.

He's on camera. Hopefully,
he doesn't come running,

crying for his mommy
this time,

because where we are,
ain't no help coming.

-Right, anyways, like I --
I was saying --

-So remember to like,
comment, subscribe @ChadRyan,

and don't forget
to check out the merch --

www.komodope.com.
Link is in the descripsh.

-And -- And don't forget
you can get some of my merch --

we got hats, shirts,
at Spice -- SpiceSquad.com.

Uh -- Whoa, dude.
We have 50,000 viewers, dude.

-I told you, buddy,

do not underestimate
the power of the Chad!

So, Devil's Manor.
A place where people died.

Steve. What else
you got on the history?

-Right. So, Devil's Manor --

back in the day there was
this guy named Wilson Burrows

who formed a cult that operated
out of this property right here.

They performed Satanic shit,
did dark rituals,

drank blood, probably sacrificed
some goats --

pretty nasty stuff.

But look y'all it --
it gets way, way worse.

They went into town, captured
and drugged five people,

brought them back
to this property, to this house,

and then butchered them
with an axe.

Nobody's heard from Burrows
or his posse --

-[Creepily] Until tonight!

-Hey guys, wait up.
-Oh.

-Hey.
-What's up?
We thought a bear ate ya.

Real quick question --
are we going the swamp first

or the house?
-Swamp? Swamp?

-You didn't know? They literally
fed one of the bodies

to the gators in the swamp.
-Steve-o!

-Dude --
-There's literally,

I'm sorry, Satanic,
human-eating alligators,

and you didn't open with that?
-That wasn't even confirmed yet.

And it was fifteen years ago.
-Actually, it was seventeen,

and it was confirmed
by the Monroe Times
newspaper archive.

-That's my girl.
Friggin' genius.

-I actually reached out
to one of the suspected members

of the cult
and asked if we could sit down,

talk about what happened,

have some delicious
homegrown Java Jen coffee,

but he didn't get back to me.
So rude.

But we still have coffee. Yay!

-Maybe someday there'll be
a ring at the bottom of that.

Who knows?
Subscribe to find out.

-[Laughs] Yeah.

Please don't put
any metal objects in my coffee.

It's gonna ruin it,
and I might choke on it.

Anyway, Steve-o, are we close
or what?

-Just keep going.

-It's just a little further.
It's right over this clearing.

-Okay.
-Hey, wait, before
we get up there, yo,

safety meeting, okay?

This place is really old,
and I read there's, like,

dangerous parts of the house
you just don't want to be in.

So --
-Oh, my God! There it is!

-Wait, dude! No, dude! Come on.
-Bye!

-Wait, Jen -- Wait, what?
Wait!

-Chad, hold on.
-Come on guys.

-[Screams]
-It's dark!

-Whoo!
-Yo, wait up!

-I'm coming for you!
-Come on!

-Oh, my God, this is crazy,
guys.

-Oh, my God.
-Okay, Spice Squad.

Here we are.
-This house is insane.

Ain't she a beaut?
It's so much scarier in person.

-No way!
-This is awesome.

-I'm the lady of the manor.
-[Sings "Addams Family" theme]

-[Laughs]
-Look at this.

-Ew, it's so -- [Gasps]
-Thanks for waiting for me.

-Baby, come here.
-Ah, Spennifer, once again.

-So when I said I wanted to get
a place outside of the city

with a nice fireplace, this was
not what I was thinking about.

-Oh, it's not so bad.
-Plenty of room

for little Spennifers
to run around one day.

-Oh, okay,
you can just say kids.

-[Singsong] Chaddy,
where are you?

-Chad Ryan, you better
come out right now.

Or I'm gonna hit you
in the balls

so hard you're gonna
be coughing them up tomorrow.

[Knocking]

-It's coming from there.
Open it.

-What, me?
-Yeah, yeah, you.

I'm not doing it.
There's two of you.

-Okay. Um...Here.

You can come over on this side.
You can get a better angle.

-W-Wait, d-do it together,
you know, like --

-Ah, good idea!
-Ok.

-[Shouting]
-[Screams]

-[Laughing]
-Oh, my God,
you're such an asshole.

-Dude, I got you
so fucking good!

Steve, did you piss
your pants again?

-No. No, I --
-Be honest.

Look at me.
-Tell the truth.

Come on, let's take a peek.
-Maybe a little.

-Dude, we knew it was you
or the Benson brothers.

-Oh, my God,
the Benson brothers!

They fucking would come out here
and pull some dumb ass prank.

Fucking stans.
They wish they were me, yo.

-Dude, you wish you were hot
as the Benson Brothers.

-Ooh! Trouble in paradise.
-I'm just saying,
they're really hot.

-Yo, Steve.
Where the Satanic shit at?

-Uh, most of the murders
happened in the bedrooms.

-Alright, Chadpions.

Steve and I are gonna head to
the bedroom for a little action.

-Ooh!
-Oh, kinky.

-We're just gonna be
in the kitchen.

-Where...
-Where are they going?

-Ooh, this is sketchy!
-Did you grab my mask?

-What? No, dude.
You left it in the kitchen.

We'll get it, we'll get it.
-Okay.

Just remind me to grab it later.

I don't want to leave
without that.

-Yo, what?
-Ooh!

-Someone got down
and dirty right here. [Laughs]

-Wait, I think they --
-Oh!

-Let's check out the view,
Chadpions.

-Wow!
-Yep, no thanks.

-I'm feeling a little
claustrophobic.

-Crime scene photos show there
was a pentagram on the floor.

-[Gasps, laughs]

-Yo, I think they filmed
"two girls, one cup"
right there.

-Oh, yeah. [Laughs]

Yeah, wasn't your sister
in there?

-Dude!
-Holy shit!

Are you fucking kidding me?
-Dude!

-You know what's
freakier than a pentagram?

A pentagram stained in blood!

Dude, this is -- this is
where they found the bodies.

-Oh, my God. [Laughs]

I'm gonna piss on it.
-What?

-Yeah. Alright, guys,
who wants to see your boy

take a pentagram piss?

Dude, why are you even gonna --
-Hey, what are we on views?

-About 100,000.
-Alright. Alright. Alright.

I want to see this hit 150,000,

and then I shall release
Little Chad.

-Seriously, Chad?

-Yo I -- I would release
my little dick, but I --

uh, like little Chad,
but I um...

I don't want to embarrass
little Chad.

Yo.
-Are you good?

-Yeah.
-150k.

-Alright.

Yeah, you gotta give
the people what they want.

-Alright, I mean, anyways,
you guys asked for it.

-Oh, yeah!
-Oh, dude.

-Yeah!
-Dude,
you haven't peed in weeks.

-Fuck you, Burrows,
fuck you, Devil's Manor.

Yeah, baby. Oh!
-Oh, that is so nasty.

-Been holding that in
since the car, bro.

Oh, my God. Oh,
that's not fucking funny, dude.

-It's dripping all over you,
dude.

-That is foul, dude.
-It's all on your hand.

That's disgusting.
-Wait, so what are we at, 155?

-160, baby.
-Great. How are Jen
and Spencer doing?

-Let me see.
"You're about to
freeze the stream.

Do you wish to keep this stream
going while you're away?"
-Do it. Do it.

[Typing]

-He probably took a shower
right here.

Oh, my God, look at that toilet.
Honey, this is insane.

-Yeah this is --
-[Gasps] OK.

-Don't touch anything in here.
-I'm not, I'm not.

What part of the Devil's Manor
do y'all wanna see next?

"Spencer's abs."

Okay, um, a little bit off
topic, but sure, why not.

Okay, baby, show the people
what they want.

-Okay.
I gave up pizza for these.

One, two, three, four,
five, six.

Beautiful, right?
-They have more views than us?

-Dude, not even close.
-Oh, Team Cheeve forever, baby.

-Whoo!
-That's what I'm talking about.

-Yo, Spice Squad, Chadpions,
keep liking,

keep sharing,
keeping commenting.

Let's break a million tonight!

-Bro, check it out.
They got cable.

-Yo, this is a dinosaur.
-Check out the knobs on her.

[Laughter]

-Oh, my God.
-What?

-What is this? Yo.

-What the hell.
-Are you kidding me?

-Dude, that's on the outside
of the door.

-Oh, my God,
you're totally right.

-Dude, there's no other way --
What?

-That's so crazy, man.
-Dude, stop.

-I would never leave you,
Steven, please.

-You would absolutely leave me.
-God, this place goes on, man.

-They said there was
an attic around here somewhere.

Oh, dude, dude, dude.
-My dad's an addict.

Attic...t.
[Laughter]

-Let's go.
-Come on.

Spice Squad, we've found an
attic that's definitely haunted.

-Oh. It's cold.
Holy, holy shit.

-Yo. What the hell is that?
-Wow.

-Huh? [Gasps]

-Holy shit, no, dude.
That's a body.

Dude, that's a real
fricking body right there.

Oh, my God.
[Hyperventilating]

-I -- I-I have never been this
close to a dead body before.

Like, like, ever.

Like, this is -- this is
the realest thing
I've ever seen.

-Yo, yo, yo, this was supposed
to be funny

and stupid and wacky.

Yo, you think Burrows did this?

-Whoever it was hasn't been
here in forever.

Because this thing smells
so fucking bad.

-This is so messed up.
We have to get out of here.

-Wait, wait, wait, wait, what--
what's the rush, you know?

He's not going anywhere.

-Dude, there is a body
right there, okay?

-I'm gonna poke it.
-What?

-I'm gonna poke it.

Okay, everybody,
you hang back and film,

and watch the master at work,
okay?

-Okay, Spice Squad.

I-I guess Chad is -- is
gonna go poke the dead body.

Yo, LIV4EDM wants me to make it
a Chadpion?

What -- I mean, he has some dope
swag, what?

Seriously, guys?
You --

Okay, look, if -- if we get
to 300,000 views, I --

I'll put the Spicy hat
on the dead body, okay?

Deal?

Well, OK. No, no, scratch that,
scratch that, 400,000.

If we get to 400,000 views,

Spicy hat goes
on the dead body, okay?

-Now we're talking, baby.
-I hope it's size dead.

Oh, boom! 400,000 views, what?
-Oh, yeah.

-Oh, Jen.
Jen has joined that stream.

What's up, Jen?

Hey, just handing out some
merch, I'll be down in a minute.

I can't believe I'm doing this.

Yo, take over.
-Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Wait, wait. Hold on.

Check this out. Selfie!
[Laughs]

#DeadAss.
-Come on, get this.

-Right, right, right, right,
right. You're good, you're good.

[Laughter]

-Holy shit.
-Go on. Go on.

-Oh, my God. Go, go, go!
Better than a Champ!

Better than a Champ!
You're a Chadpion, baby!

Team Cheeve forever!
-Whoo!

-Bro, I'm so proud of you!

That was some
real Chadpion shit back there.

-You guys, that wasn't real,
right?

-It definitely smelled real.
What? Why? Did it look real?

-I can't tell if you're kidding
or not

because you both have very
strong resting douchebag faces.

If you could wink
or tap on the ground

and tell me, no, that was
a prank, that would be great.

-It was real.
-Yeah.

-There was a dude right up
in there.

I can show you.
Come on.

-We need to call the cops
right now.

-Well, he's --
he's already dead.

I mean, you could try CPR,
but Spencer might get jealous.

-You guys,
that's really messed up.

-Okay, yeah, yeah, we're out.

Give me the keys, bro.
-What?

-Come on, give me the keys.
-Okay.

-Gimme the keys.
-Gimme the keys.

-Bring it back tomorrow,
I don't know.

-Have a nice drive.
-Bye.

-More views for us!

-Holy shit, bro! 500k!
-Whooooo!

Hey, finally popped your
half a mil cherry!

-Tell your friends, tell
your family, tell your preacher,

Spicy Steve won
the internet tonight.

Whoo!
-That is right. That is right.

-Thank you, Spice Squad,
thank you, Chadpions,

and thank you, dead body!
-Whoo!

-[Laughs] Whoo!
-Whoo! Yeah, baby.

-And some of you
are not happy about it.

"Eat shit and die?"
What...

-Ooh!
-Yo, dude, these --
these people are pissed.

-Fuck that, it's, like --
it's just typical PC, hippie,

cancel culture bullshit.

-People hate us.
-It doesn't matter, okay?

It doesn't matter
if they hate you

or if they love you, as long
as they're watching.

It's like a hate fuck, you know?

You feel bad
about it afterwards,
but it's still fucking.

-What, I don't --
What are you talking about?

I don't want my audience
hate-fucking me, dude.

-Would you man up, dude?
You're in the big leagues now.

Come on, I haven't
even got to see the swamp yet.

-Dude, no, I'm going up there.

I'm gonna get the hat
off that thing,

then we're gonna leave.

-Yeah, you know what?
Fuck you, dude!

I'm starting my own stream.

I should've done this shit
from the beginning.

-Dude, Chad come on.
Don't be like that, man.

-I thought we were Cheve, bro.
I thought we were Cheve.

Yo, Chadpions,
I'm gonna continue the tour

of Devil's Manor as promised,
so if you want

the rated-R, full penetration,

skull fucking Casper
the Friendly Ghost version,

you can switch to me.

-So, uh, that was something.

Sorry, Spice Squad,
I'm starting to realize

that Chad kind of sucks ass.
You know?

Look, I'm gonna go
back up there,

I'm gonna get the hat,
and then I'll call the cops.

Cool?

All right, Spice Squad, making
our way back up to the attic.

Probably shouldn't
have given my keys to Spencer,

but we'll deal with that later.

And it's gone.

What? Yo.

Can every one
of the 400,000 people watching

the stream right now agree there
was just a body right there.

What? The hat's still here.
Someone's pranking me out there.

Whoa. Shocker there.

Always got to one up me, Chad,
don't you?

Well, you know, hey, uh,
fun fact,

Chad was actually arrested
at his grandmother's funeral

for necrophilia.
So, I think we all know

what he's doing with
that dead body right now.

[Sighs] Yeah, he probably had
an accomplice. [Laughs]

What do you all think?
Spennifer?

The Mocksies?
The Benson Brothers!

They hate him,
but they love a good prank.

Anyways, leave no Spice gear
behind, squad.

It's gonna take two hands.

Hold on, stay right there.

Alright. Spice Squad,
stay right there.

What the hell?

This ceiling get taller,
or did I get shorter?

Alright, Spice Squad,
watch the hops.

Wanna rate one to ten?

Eight years of basketball, baby!

This thing is disgusting.
Wash that later.

Alright, moving on.

"Look behind you?"
[Scoffs]

Look, alright, guys,
you can mess with me

all you want, alright?
I'm not falling for it anymore.

There are no killer
ghost janitors here, okay?

Unless...

Boo yah! [Laughs] Get it?
Like ghost, boo.

Okay I'm sorry, that was dumb.
It won't happen again.

Anyways, um, yeah, I think it's
time for Steve-o to leave-o.

What's that?

That's weird.

Is this thing glitching?

Huh. Okay, and that is my cue
to leave.

Yep. It's been really real,
can't wait to come back.

Actually one more thing --
um, fuck you, Devil's Manor!

Zero stars.
Would not recommend -- Ow!

[Blows landing, Steve gasping]

[Choking]

[Choking stops]

[Wind howling]

[Typing]

[Cellphone chimes]

-Hey, guys. Um,
I just saw Steve's feed,

and it's just a shot
of the ceiling,

which is, I don't know,
kind of weird.

I'm gonna make a call
real quick.

Can you pull over, baby?
-Okay.

[Ringing]

[Cellphone chimes]

[Scoffs]

-Oh, he's such an idiot.
But, yeah, we should

head back to the house.
-Just wait, hold on. Listen.

Satanic cults
and dead body pranks?

That's not our thing.

I mean, you guys
don't want to see that, right?

-Well, tonight,
it is our thing, honey.

So, yeah, let's go.

-Oh, come on,
let's just find a hotel.

Hey, you can help me work
on a new track.

I was thinking a song
maybe about ghosting.

You know, like, with
Halloween sounds for the beat.

Like, * Spooky love! Ooh
-Spence.

We are not gonna go to
a hotel

while Steve and Chad

are out there racking
up thousands of views.

Like...

Oh, my God.
People think we're boring.

No, no, no, no, no.
I'm gonna go back to the Manor ,

with or without you.

-Come on Jen,
no one wants to see you alone.

You can't spell Spennifer
without the "Sp," part.

-Are you fucking kidding
me right now?

"Sp" isn't even supposed
to be here.

It's just supposed to be
"Nnifer. "

I don't even know
why I'm talking like that .

Like, this is my thing,
not yours.

God, I'm leaving.
-Wait, just hold on.

Let's talk.
-You can't even spell Spennifer.

-Come on, Jen. Wait, come back.
-Ugh!

[Sighs] Okay.

Um, so sorry you guys had to see
that.

It's a little bit embarrassing,
but it's fine.

Onto bigger and better things.

I am currently on my way back
to the Devil's Manor by myself.

So, if you guys could like and
share, that would be amazing ,

because this is literally
the scariest thing

I've ever done in my
whole entire life.

Okay. Wow.

Good job wearing your cute white
boots in a fucking forest, Jen.

God. Okay. Let's do a quick AMA.

Okay, any questions
not about Spencer?

Like, I'm going to a Satanic
cult house right now you, guys.

Like, come on.

Okay, guess not.

Um, I'm gonna go ahead
and take a little break ,

but stay tuned because there's
more on the Devil's Manor.

Okay, bye, stay beautiful.
[Laughs]

[Cellphone chiming]

Okay. And we're back.

Wow, I'm a mess, my hair's
a mess but, like, it's fine.

We're cute.
It's -- We're great, yeah.

Let's go find Steve, guys.

Wow.

Steve? Chad?

Well, definitely creepier
all alone.

God, this is awful.

Chad?
Dude, come on, where are you?

Oh, actually...

Chad's on his way
back to the house right now.

-Here's Chaddy!
-Dude, what are you --

-Do you have my phone?
-Where did you come from?

-Upstairs,
but I can't find my phone.

I set it down to take a piss,
and now it's gone.

I checked the attic, by the way.

It's totally empty.
No Steve, no body, no iChad.

-Wait, iChad?
-That's my phone's name.

-Oh. He named his phone iChad.
That's cute.

-Mm-hm.
-Talking about iChad,

he's live streaming
right now in front of the house.

-What? Show me.

-Who is it?
-I don't know.

Steve. Bensons? Burrows?
-Stop, no.

-Whoever it is,
they're heading this way.

-I don't like this.

[Man breathing heavily]

[Loud knocking]

-Who is it?
-Come in!

-No, what do you mean,
"come in?"

-Come on,
we gotta open the door.

-Uh, do we, though?
-Yeah, we do. Come on, let's go.

-Whoa, whoa, whoa.
My live stream.

I open the door. Here.
-Alright. Respect.

I respect that.
-Okay.

Wait, don't be too far away
from me.

-I'm right here.
-Okay.

Okay. One, two, three...

Wait, where'd he go?
There's no one here.

-What?
-Swipe over, swipe over.

-That looks like the forest
from the swamp.

-Let's go, let's go.

-Okay, I guess
we're going to the swamp.

Chad, slow down, hold on.
Chad. This is crazy.

Careful, Chad.
So, you guys,

I definitely didn't
have running around the forest

at midnight with Chad Ryan

chasing after a Satanic
cult leader on my bingo card

for tonight but,
you know, here we are.

[Grunting] My god.
-Get up, soldier!

Move, move, move!

Don't you quit on me!
-Oh, my God, you guys.

High key, low key
just wiped out.

-Uh, 900,000 viewers, girl.

Ain't nothing low key
about that.

-That's insane.

Okay.

-Oh, shit.
It's getting thick now.

-Oh, I think...

[Laughs] Oh, my God.
-Did we -- did we just find him?

-I think we did. Oh!

-Christ. Dude.
We made it.

-Oh, man.
-What?! This is --
oh, my God, totally insane.

You guys, I've never been
to a swamp before.

It's, like, so pretty
and creepy at the same time.

-Yeah, it's, kind of,
like a pond but with gonorrhea.

-Oh, my God.

You never cease
to amaze me with the shit

that comes out of your mouth.
[Laughter]

-Wait, where's my phone?
Swipe over, swipe over.

-Oh, they -- they stopped
streaming.

-Fuck. Where are they?
-I don't know.

-I have a message
for whoever has my phone.

-Whomever. Whomever.

-Whoever or whomever
is in possession of my phone,

you should know I have
a very particular set of skills.

Return iChad to me unscathed,
or I will find you,

and I will kill you.
[Imitates cutting throat]

[Laughter]

Where are the gators at, man?

Come and get it, boys!

-Maybe they don't like
bleach or assholes.

-What?
My asshole's not bleached.

-Oh, I thought it was.
[Laughs]

-No, it's just naturally pale.

-Oh, dude,
your stream's back on.

-What? Let me see.
-Yeah.

-[Laughs] I'm coming for you,
buddy.

-[Sighs] Chad Ryan, everybody.

Okay, I wasn't expecting it to
be this cool, but just hold on.

Give me one second, everybody.

Just gonna put on
my cute flannel,

which you can find in my bio
from a cute boutique in LA.

Oh, my God.
Holy shit, it's freezing.

Okay, amazing. Okay.
So much better.

Here we go. Gators? [Laughs]
You guys are funny.

So, fun fact, I have
a crazy phobia of alligators.

I'm not looking to get close
to any one of those things.

Shoot --
And maybe I don't have to.

Get ready for mission
Jen-possible.

Yeah, no, we're
not gonna do that ever again.

Shh-shh. Don't tell anybody.
[Laughs] Okay, you guys.

So, I found a paddle,
and I don't know what this is --

string, twine, dirt --

I don't know, but we're gonna
make a little DIY selfie stick

and see where it goes
in the swamp.

God, this is so weird. Okay.

So, my phone's been
underwater a lot --

like, pool, ocean, the toilet --
that last one was an accident,

but we're not gonna
talk about it.

Hopefully, my phone is
under warranty

because it's going in the water.

Okay. Yikes. Are you guys ready?

Let me know
if you see any gators.

Did you guys see any gators?

[Splash]

Wait. Did you guys hear that?

Weird.

[Screams]

[Splashing]

[Gentle music plays]

-* Swipe right on my heart,
and left on your doubts *

* All we need
is love to figure it out *

* And I got Tinder feelings

* Baby, and they're for you

Come on, Jen. Pick up the phone.
Come on.

What are you doing?
What the fuck?

* Gonna make you my boo, gonna
slide in your DMs -- *

-I got you.
You're okay. You're okay.

Okay, they didn't crack
your screen.

Thank God. [Smooches]
You're alright.

I'll put you on a nice,
warm charger when we get back,

how does that sound?
Thank God.

Alright, Chadpions,
now that I've been reunited

with iChad,
the stream shall resume.

-* Make you my boo, gonna slide
in your DMs, your DMS *

[Ringing]

*

-What's up, Spencer?
-You think this is funny?

-Your song? I mean, yes, but
it's not supposed to be, right?

-No, the song is fire, okay.
I'm talking about Jen.

-What about her?
-Someone pulled
Jen into the swamp.

-It was Steve, dude,
it had to be.

Look, Jen knows how to swim.
-No, bro, like, this isn't cool.

Your whole vibe is really off,
Chad.

-Where are you going, Spence?

-To find my girlfriend --
[Grunts]

-Spence?

Yo, Spencer?

[Typing, cellphone chiming]

[Sighs]

Okay.
So, Spencer just called me,

bitching about Jennifer falling
into a swamp.

I don't know what
the fuck is going on.

His call cut out.

What I do know is Spencer is
not nearly funny enough

to pull off any prank
of any kind.

Literally ever.

So, that just leaves
the Bensons and Steve,

with a possible assist
from Jennifer,

but I didn't see what happened.
Did you guys?

Did Jennifer fall into the swamp
or was something else going on?

Okay, I mean, yeah,

I guess I could go back
and check at the pier.

Hold on.

Okay. Okay.
This just in,

officially confirmed --
it's all an elaborate prank,

orchestrated than none
other than Spicy Steve himself.

Wow, I mean,
I got to give it to you man.

Game respect game.
You really stepped it up.

I mean, I did know shit
was going down the whole time,

but, you know,

when -- when Spencer
and Jennifer went down,

I mean, you had me wondering.

So, Chadpions,
did you fall for it?

On a scale of one to shit your
pants, how scared were you?

Let me know in the comments.

Also don't forget
to check out my merch.

www.komodope.com.
Link is in the description,

and with promo code "devil,"
you get 20% off all merchandise.

I'm heading back to the house
now to link up with Steve

and make him explain to me
how this all went down.

How we doing on views?
Holy shit.

One motherfucking million, baby!

That's amazing. Oh, my God!
Guys, I love you all so much.

I love you so much.
Even though I know half of you

are really only here
to hate on the old Chadmeister,

but we can just keep
those views coming.

Steve said he was
in the TV room.

[Whispers] What the fuck?

So, Steve is sitting
in the corner,

wearing my LED mask,
being creepy as fuck.

This is no way not a set up.

So I'm gonna turn
the tables on him.

[Muffled] Fireworks, baby.

You never leave home
without them.

Suck it, Steve!

You come for the king,
you best not miss!

[Chad cheering,
fireworks exploding]

Alright. Yo, dude, could you,
like, quit being weird?

It's boring.

Okay.
Yeah, we get it Steve.

Or is it Benson?

Which Benson brother
am I looking at?

What the fuck? What?
Hey. What the fuck is that?

Hey. Hey, man. Back off.
Back off, bro.

Look, I got --
I got a million people

that are stream watching
right now.

You hear that?

And you're not funny.
It's not funny.

I -- I'm not afraid of you,
but I will call the cops.

Hey. Fuck! Get off! Get off!

Fuck! [Panting]

What the fuck? Hey.
Hey, why are you locked?

Why are you locked?
Fuck! Wait, wait.

[Clattering]
Shit.

Um...

[Dialing, thudding in distance]

-911, what's your emergency?

-Hi, yeah, me, Steve, and
Spennifer are at Devil's Manor,

right, and we found a dead body
and he put a hat on him

and then Steve disappeared and
then Spennifer fell into a swamp

and there's this big dude.

His name is Wilson Burrows,
and I threw fireworks at him,

and now he's trying to kill us.

-Okay, calm down.
What's your name?

-Chad Ryan.
-Chad Ryan, the vlogger?

-Yes.
-I have real emergency calls

coming in on other lines.
Don't prank 911.

[Beep]
No.

Fuck! Someone call 911.
Someone.

What the fuck?

[Whispering] Someone call 911.
Someone call 911.

[Dramatic music plays]

*

[Axe scraping]

*

[Cellphone playing rap music]

Jesus. Shit. Fuck.

[Shouts, groaning]

[Panting]

Oh, God. Oh, God.
Oh, God.

I -- I can't see.
Shit, man, I can't see.

Fucking -- Damn it. Damn it.
Damn it.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh,
my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Are you kidding me?
Are you kidding me?

Come on. Come on.
Come on. Come on.

Hey, ho, ho, please, please.

Oh! Oh! Oh, yeah, baby!

[Panting]

[Panting continues]

[Sighs]

[Panting, hisses]

It's not that bad, right? Shit.

Do I have any doctors,
or -- or MDs, med students?

Hm? I'll take a vet tech.

And people say I'm the asshole.
[Scoffs]

Can -- Can someone call 911
for me?

Come on, dude.

[Cellphone ringing]

-Cousin,
how are we doing tonight?

-Not great.
-These are so good.

-There's a man with an axe
hunting me like I'm a squirrel,

and he managed
to take a chunk out of my arm.

It's like my shoulder's on fire.

Also, my friends are missing,
possibly dead.

-Sounds like a cool video.

Hey, so, have you signed
that contract yet?

-Contract?
-For my reality pilot?

The network's really
pushing the family angle hard,

and you are my cousin.

They think you can bring
in the Gen Z audience.

-I need you to call 911 and
tell them to send some police

out to Devil's Manor, okay.
-I'll have another margarita.

-It's, like, 90 miles outside
of Monroe, Louisiana.

-Gracias.

-Okay, hypothetically a false
police report is a felony,

but I guess since I'm
technically doing this for you,

then I'll be fine any way.
So, while I'm working on that,

check the e-mail
for your contract.

-Call the fucking cops.

-I will, I will, but since I'm
helping you out with your thing,

help me out with mine.

You should be able to do
an e-signature.

So, go to the top left corner,
check the tools icon, tap that,

and then if you don't have
a signature stored,

you can just run your fingers
across it,

and it'll --
-Yeah, Eric,

I know how to do an e-signature.

I have a fucking internet
company.

-Oh, good.

-There, it's --
it's signed and sent.

Happy?
-Yes.

Let me check and make sure
that it went through.

I'm doing this for the both
of us, you know.

You'll thank we me
when we're the next Kardashians.

-I'll thank you when you call
the motherfucking cops!

-Got the contract.
Calling now. Stay safe, cuz.

-Great, okay.
-Gracias.

I think I'm gonna try to find
a -- a -- a --

Alright, Chadpions,
I would love to go back in there

and take on Burrows
mano y Chad-o,

but he's a serial killer
with an axe.

So, fuck that.

If one of you guys could please
call the cops, that'd be great,

or I don't know
if you saw where the car was,

if you could pull up
the coordinates.

North. Where the fuck is north?

Okay, okay, great, great, great.

Chadpion22,
cannot thank you enough.

You are a real one.

Okay, now we're heading north,
baby, like a white walker.

[Dramatic music plays]

*

What is that?

[Ding]

*

Fuck.

I'm gonna find them.

[Panting]

[Gasps, panting]

Satanic paparazzi
on my ass.

I see the jeep.
I see the jeep.

We got the jeep.
We got the jeep.

That was intense.
That was so intense.

I think we lost him. Alright.

So, the key is in one
of two places.

It's either on Spencer,
or somewhere in the car.

Let's hope for
the second option.

And let's get a little --
a little battery in.

Great, now let's find some keys.

Spence, where'd you put
those keys, buddy?

Come on. Come on, don't fuck me.
Don't fuck me.

Come on.

Where did you put it?
Shit, shit.

Um, let's -- maybe let's try
to hot wire this bitch, right?

Can't be that hard.
Um, let's try it.

How do I...?

"How to... a car."

Okay...

[Theme song plays]

*

Okay, campers.
Looks like we've got everything

we need here with our tools.

It's time to show you
how to hot wire a car.

...that we're gonna use
quite a bit here.

We're gonna be in this --
Owner's manual,

which a lot of people
don't think about.

You do not want to
get electrocuted.

It isn't fun.

Sometimes, on
those cartoons and stuff they --

your hair just kind of sticks
up, like it's not a big deal.

It's a big deal.

So, let's identify
the different wires

we're gonna be working with.

Obviously,
the ignition wires create heat,

and what does heat do?

And that's why --
[Cellphone vibrating]

Oh --
Down to business.

Time to pop open the steering
wheel and hot wire this guy.

But before we do that,
I should mention that any car

that was made after,
let's say, 1999,

is virtually impossible,
if not impossible to hot wire.

The modern cars --
-[Sighs]

[Sighs] Alright, Chadpions,

I guess hot wiring a car is
a lot easier in the movies

than in real life.
[Laughs]

I guess I could try to find,
like,

a -- a road, and maybe hitchhike
but I'm not --

[Glass shatters]

[Car alarm blaring,
Chad screaming]

[Dramatic music plays]

*

*

*

*

[Panting]

[Cellphone chimes]

[Cellphone chimes]

That was intense.
That was so intense.

I think we lost him.
[Panting]

Come on. Come on.
Come on. Come on.

Come on.
I'm okay.

Are you okay?
You're okay. You're okay.

Shit. Is that a road?
That's a road.

[Laughing in relief]

[Panting]

Come on. Come on.

[Chime]

[Sighs]

I guess there's
no drivers in my area.

Cause why would there be?

"On our way. Almost there."

Yeah. Yeah, I'm sure you are,

'cause you guys have been
so fucking helpful.

[Laughs]
Why am I still filming?

What you --
you want me to just cut it off

and go dark on the craziest,
most fucked up night of my life?

Now you want me to quit when
I have almost 3 million views?

Why am I still filming?

Why are you still watching, huh?

[Vehicle approaching]

Hey, hey, man, hey.
Pull over. Pull over.

[Upbeat music plays]

*

-Chad Ryan, get in, bro.
-Who the fuck are you guys?

-Gunsandglory21.
You didn't see my comment?

I said I was coming, right?

-I -- fuck it, I did, I did,
I just thought it was a joke.

Now come on, let's get --
let's go.

-No, yo, Chad, Chad, Chad,
come on, man.

You ain't riding bitch.
Take shotty, come on, man.

-Fuck it, okay. Alright.
Shit. Alright.

What's up?
-What's up?

-Let's go. Let's go. Holy shit.
Thank you so much, bro.

Thank you so much.

-Shit, a chance
to pick up Chad Ryan?

I should be thanking you, man.

We watch your shit
all the time at the frat house.

-Like, all the time.

I mean, just this morning
I was watching you Live Life

while I was taking a shit.

Man, life's weird.
-Yeah. Yeah, man. [Laughs]

Alright, okay.
-What's up with your arm, dude?

-Oh, shit, yeah.

Fuck, I guess it's, like,
adrenaline.

I didn't feel it.
-It's -- It's like a cut.

-Yeah. Chadpions, it's looking
like we've officially escaped.

-Whoa, whoa, whoa,
are you still streaming?

-Yeah, bro.

-Holy shit, are we on
Chad Ryan's stream right now?!

-Yeah. Yeah, okay,
what've we got?

-What's up? It's your boy,
Trent, coming at you

from the dirty south.
Hit me up, Trentsanity69. Ha!

-Alright, alright, and
behind the wheel...

-What's up? It's Craig,
AKA C-Reg,

hanging with my new buddy,
Chad Ryan.

Phi Kappa Gamma for life, man!

Hey, make sure you tag me
in that.

Dude, it's gunsandglory,
all one word, underscore 21.

-Gunsandglory21. Sounds good.

-We're gonna get so many
fucking followers, dude.

-Yeah, bro.
-That's right. That's right.

Okay, so can we make sure --
we gotta get to, like --

-Yo, selfie, dog.
-What's up? Ah.

-Oh, sick. Okay.
-Can we get some merch, bro?

-Yes, anything
you guys want, free of charge.

Absolutely, yeah.
-Oh, hell yeah.
I'll take a tank top.

-A tank top.
-Hey, let me get a new --

A new Chadpion hat, dude,
this one's all fucked up.

-Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay,
can we --

We got to get to,
like, a police station ASAP.

-Wait, for real?
-Yes, for real.

-I thought the whole
Devil's Manor shit was a prank.

-No, no, for real, please.

-I mean, the nearest town's
about 90 miles from me,

but I can get you there
pretty quick.

-That'd be sick. That's be sick.
Right, thank you.

-Are you still -- you still got
those Chadpion beer pong kits?

-Yeah, yeah, sure.
I got you. I'll hook you up.

-Every fraternity brother's
gonna shit their pants

when they see this.

You and Spicy Steve,
Pizza Ninja!

-Oh, yeah. [Laughs]

-We fucked up so many
delivery drivers

after watching that shit.

-Fuck, yeah.
We got one fired, bro.

-No, no, you got him fired.
-Oh, yeah, whatever,

what the fuck ever, man.

-And then what was it called
when you guys were watching --

the -- the -- you were riding
the bikini bitches?

-Uh, She-Haw.
-She-Haw!

[Laughter]
-That's how it should be, bro.

-Girls just need to shut
the fuck up and get ridden,

Alpha dog shit.
-Right.

-No, that's -- that's
pretty fucked up actually.

That's -- that's not the point
of the -- the bit, man.

It was, like -- she was --
she actually got paid --

-Naw we learn from the best.
-We can read between the lines.

-Who the fuck is this guy?

-What the fuck is this guy
doing, man?

[Car horn honking]

-Let's turn around, alright?
Let's find a different road,
okay?

-I thought you said
you wanted to go to town.

This is the way.
-I do.

I just don't wanna die
on the way there, okay.

Like, this truck is
mad fucking sus.

So, can we just find
another route, please?

-No, man. Fuck this asshole.
Let's kick his ass.

-Kick his ass?
What are you talking about?

-Hey, get the bat.
-Get the bat?

Wait, don't -- don't -- don't
take the fucking keys, dude.

-Hey, don't puss out, alright.

-What are you doing?
-Watch our back.

Don't be a fucking bitch.
We came to get you, dude.

What's up, dude?

Move your fucking truck outta
the way.

-Watch your back? I'll fucking
watch your back, "Craig".

Idiot. Please don't be Burrows.
Please don't be Burrows.

No, don't be Burrows.
Don't be Burrows.

-Oh, shit. Oh, no, no, no, no,
no, shit, shit, shit.

Go. What are you doing?
Fuck. The keys.

The keys. The keys.
Gotta get the keys.

[Car door closes]

[Man screaming]

*

[Car dinging, Chad panting]

[Tires squeal, Chad grunting]

Oh, no, no, no.
Shit, shit, shit, shit.

*

[Shouts]

*

[Laughs] Oh, look who got
stuck in a ditch, bitch!

[Laughs] Oh, fuck yeah.

It's the craziest night
of my life.

Craziest night of my life,

but I'm still here, baby.

I'm still here with,
with 4 -- 4 million views.

Holy shit.

Holy shit,
that's gonna be like a --

like a Live Life record, right?

Oh, man, okay.

Okay, so for the movie version
of this,

who should I cast to play me?

The Rock, or -- or Tom Holland?

No, no, no, no,
no, I'll play myself.

The Rock is Burrows.
Ariana Grande is Jen,

'cause she's hot as fuck,
and she's, she's --

Jen.

She's probably dead.

[Cellphone chimes]

What the fuck?

[Typing, cellphone chiming]

-Please, let me go.

-I -- I just got a video from
Burrows that shows Jen alive.

At least she was alive
when they shot it.

Does anyone know where Jen is?

Basement.
Basement.

I didn't get around to
checking the fucking basement.

Shit.

Okay, the -- the smart thing
to do is to go and --

and get the -- the cops, right,
get some -- get some help.

I can't go back in there alone.

I can't go back in there.

Okay.

Come on, come on.

[Sighs]

[Sighs]

-* Yeah

* Better than a champ
-* What

-* Better than a champ
-* What, what

-* You're a Chad
-* What

-* C-C-Chad
-* What

-* You're a Chadpion

-I changed my mind.

I'm back.

Okay, guess
I'm really doing this.

I know Jen and I have had
our ups and downs,

but I definitely don't want
her to die though.

And Steve, I'm hoping
he's still around, man.

He was was true Chadpion.
Maybe even better than me.

And Spencer, well, actually,
Spencer kind of sucks,

but if he's around,
we'll grab him.

I guess Burrows has Triple A.

[Sighs] Alright, Craig,

what have you got for me?

Oh, that's pretty sick,
but shit.

Alright, perfect,
that'll do nicely.

Batter up, bitches.
[Laughs]

I fucking sound like Craig.

Alright,
how the fuck am I gonna do this?

I need both hands for the bat.

I'm gonna be taping
you guys to the...

How does that --
don't have any --

maybe, can we put you in the-,

maybe I can strap the phone
to my head.

Damn it.

I can't believe I'm saying this,

but I think -- I think I'm gonna
have to leave iChad behind.

So, I guess this is goodbye.

Goodbye to the 5 million.
Holy shit.

Goodbye all 5 million of you.

I'll leave you with a nice shot
of the house on the dash here,

how's that?

What do I do here...
echoes in eternity.

"Gladiator," dope movie.

[Car door opens, closes]

[Car alarm blaring]

[Car alarm continues]

[Car door opens]

[Alarm stops]

[Dramatic music plays]

*

*

*

*

-Hey, hey, are you alright?
You're alright, aren't you?

Come on, okay, we're gonna get
you out of here.

[Indistinct conversation]

Fuck, fuck! Hey, hey!

You back the fuck off, bro!

Back! Stop!

[Laughs] That's right!
That's right, baby!

I'm gonna bash your
fucking brains in.

This is what's gonna happen.

You are gonna give me
the keys to this thing,

and then her and
I are walking outta here.

You got that, bitch?
You got that?

-Chad.
-What? What?

-What about the rest of them?

-The rest of them?

*

-Get the fuck back!

You get back!
You know who the fuck I am, huh?

You don't underestimate
the power, baby, of the Cha--

[Groaning and sputtering]

*

[Panting]

*

[Axe hitting flesh]

*

[Gasping]

*

Help!

[Panting and groaning]

*

*

*

*

[Groaning]

*

-Help!
Help! Help!

Help!
[Axe hitting flesh]

*

*

[Wood breaking]

*

-[Yelping]

*

[Axe dragging]

*

[Strangled shout]

[Rattling]

[Axe dragging]

*

No, no.

[Crying quietly]

I love you, Mom.

[Gurgling while crying]

[Footsteps leaving]

[Cellphone chimes]

-You know, I'm not really sure
if that is real,

but if it is,
Team Burrows all the way.

-#ChadGetsTheAxe.

-Oh, that is trending.

-* Do the axe,
do the axe *

* Now take a second to relax

* And do the axe,
do the axe *

-Some speculation on
how the cult happened

to be there the same night
that Chad showed up.

Was it just Satanic serendipity,
or was there more?

Jen said she --
-Fuck you,

you ignorant, misogynistic,
waste of bandwidth.

-What about-- I mean, that blood
looked, like, kind of, real no?

-I mean, have you seen what
they're able to do with, like,

movies and shit now?
Like, you think --

* And I've got Tinder feelings,
baby *

* And they're for you

* Tinder feelings

* Baby, I wanna make
you my boo *

* Tinder feelings

* Baby, and they're for you

-Yo.

-I'm devastated.

I was the last person to speak
with Chad before he died.

He was really excited about
my reality show,
"Essentially Eric."

-Rest in peace to the dude.
Let me just say that.

Rest in peace,
and I hope --

-* It feels good, feels good,
real good, real good *

* I really like it

-Hashtag Chad gets
the motherfucking axe.

Yo, Burrows is
a bad motherfucker.

Did you see that?
I'm gonna catch his ass.

[upbeat music plays]

*

*

-Do you like Chad Ryan, Louie?
[Dog whimpers]

It's a no.

-So, I don't know
who needs to hear this,

but if you're planning
to live stream yourself

trespassing in a place

where a Satanic cult killed
a bunch of people, don't.

-And, like, I didn't --
I couldn't tell.
I could not tell

if it was actually
a real live stream or not.

-Chad, you cannot act, dude.
You cannot act.

-It is wrong to kill people,
but --

and hear me out -- but is
anybody really gonna miss him?