Original subtitles

[insects buzzing]

[birds squawking]

[buzzing continues]

[grunts]

[snorts]

[snorting]

[grunts]: It's in my nose!

Why would you want to be in there?

[grunts]

[slapping, groaning]

♪

Ow.

Look at you all.

Flea-riddened.

We'll have to have this party indoors.

What? No!

No, I've spent ages rigging up

Gerry's rope-ride.

[sighs]

I loathe insects.

So unimaginative.

Gerry, nature is a disgrace!

Don't be mean to him on his birthday.

Maybe we can distract the bugs.

What, tell them there's a big open pot of jam in Corfu Town?

No, start a fire or...

You all think I'm an idiot, don't you?

I've been trying to think of anecdotes about Gerry's life.

And apart from ruddy animal stories,

there aren't any... or photos.

Last child syndrome.

You know, it's not fair.

He's my little boy,

and if we don't have any memories about him,

we'll just have to make them up.

That's ridiculous.

[exhales]

There's nothing better

than a children's birthday party, is there?

Gerry has changed.

Oh, good, yes, we must all change.

Not change clothes.

She means he's growing up.

[insects buzzing]

Ah!

♪

♪

♪

♪

LOUISA: Gerry!

Gerry, I've got a cake bowl for you to lick!

Yum, yum![grunts]

[insects buzzing]

Leslie,

I told you we need to have the party indoors.

Oh, God, one's got in!

Just please come inside... this is hopeless.

No, no, it'll be amazing.

When Gerry comes down this, he'll feel like a bird!

But we've got pass-the-parcel.

He wants something more manly than that!

We're like three peculiar brides.

Oh, yes, I'm very hot in here.

Yes, this isn't going to work, is it?

Oh, no.

I hate being indoors!

It reminds me of being in Bournemouth.

LOUISA: So how's your Gerry anecdote coming along, Margo?

I'll do the time we were shopping

and we lost him and we found him in a sweetshop

telling the shopkeeper he was a lord

and deserved more sweets.

Oh.

I don't remember that.

No, it didn't happen.

MARGO: You said make something up.

Yes. You do like to manage our lives,

don't you?

Parties are much work.

Yes, pleasure often is.

Surprise yourself, Lugaretzia, relax.

Wear a bloody colour.

MARGO: I wonder if Gerry's little girlfriend's

coming to the party.

He's not old enough for a girlfriend.

Daphne's well enough to come, I hope?

Of course.

Pregnancy isn't an illness.

Are you actually telling me, mother of four,

what pregnancy is?

Well, you've probably forgotten.

What's happening with you and Daphne?

I can't keep up.

She and I are good friends who, through no fault of our own,

are having a baby together.

It's all very modern.

Well, I'm intensely modern, but what's wrong

with a bit of romance?

♪

LARRY: Gerry says his first word...

[footsteps approaching]

Tortoise.

Have you wrapped the pass-the-parcel parcel?

The pass-the-parcel parcel?

Yes. And I hope you put in what I said,

not a French letter, as you threatened.

We'll have to find out, won't we?

LARRY: Spiros!

[places box down, glasses clink]

Drinks, glasses, cutlery...

And Leslie's favourite little sausages.

[sighs]: Now it's a party.

Thank you, Spiros.

Do stay and relax.

[chuckling]: Yes, hang up your stylish headwear.

[others chuckling]

[chuckling stops]

Oh, I'm sorry.

I will bring the rest in.

LARRY: He's not his usual

blithe and festive self, is he?

He, he hasn't been for a while.

Good.

Can't stand people who are jolly all the time.

Well, I like them.

Ah, the birthday boy!

Are you looking forward to the fun and games?

Can we please not make a fuss?

It's your birthday, we have to!

It's not really about you.

Fine, but no speeches... or actual games.

But lots of people who love you are coming,

so we may say a few words.

[muttering]: In between the games.

[exhales in annoyance]

[footsteps retreating]

[exhales]

What's the matter with him?

Oh, you know Gerry, probably just missing his animals.

Yes, you're right, let's bring some indoors.

♪

♪

[speaking Greek]:

[donkey snorting]

[bleating]

[animals bleating, chirping]

Gerry!

Happy now, poppet?

[goat bleats]Thank you?

No, you mustn't...

Oh!

[goat bleating, insects buzzing]

What the hell is wrong with Gerry?

It's his birthday.

He needs to have fun.

And I'm going to make sure he gets it.

[goat bleats]

[people laughing, talking softly]

THEO: We need to breed certain wild species in captivity,

otherwise they will just disappear.

The problem is that

we need to find a way to help them.

To adjust back to their natural environment.

And how are Gerry's studies going,

since I had to give up tutoring him

after he wrestled me to the ground?

Excellent.

Yes, his French is every bit as good as his arithmetic now.

Ah, and how good is that?

We're surprised by how good it is.

Ah.

Well I had holidays in Scotland as a child

so I'm used to plagues of midges.

[in Scottish accent]: Ah, the Auld McMidges.

[in Scottish accent]: Aye, buzzin' 'round the hoose.

[laughing]: Aye!

We can do better than that.

Yes.

Oh, have you met my niece Nelly?

She's 17, visiting from Batley.

Hello, I'm Larry.

As in "Happy as..."

Happy as what?

[stammers]: Happy as Larry.

[quietly]: Oh, well.

Nelly's come to help look after the baby.

Hmm, how's that going?

Dreadful.

Sausages.

So, no help whatsoever, but awash with northern charm.

I think you've found your look, Zoltan.

[music playing in background]

Are you all right, Spiros?

Yes.

This isn't you.

Where's the buoyant Spiros?

Dead.

I'm his miserable twin brother, Roy.

Bad things happen to me.

What bad things?

Roy?

SVEN: As you're here, Dr. Petridis,

my knee is doing odd things.

I'm afraid this evening, I'm not a doctor, please.

I can hear it in bed, creaking.

[imitating bed creaking]

[sighs]

[talking softly]

Darwin is interested about the gender gap

in relation to natural selection.

Yeah, but what did Darwin know?

Just an old bloke in a white beard.

[laughs]

Well, he evolved into the white beard

from a face like yours.

Time for some games.

Hoorah!

Apple bobbing contest!

[laughs]: Right.

Now, Gerry...

I'll let someone else do it.

Mr. Kralefsky.

Oh, with pleasure! I love to bob!

No, no, thank you, no, you'll never get up again.

Oh, I'll have a go.

Uh, Leslie?

LESLIE: No, no, no, no.

I'm a respectable policeman.

[muttering protest]

Oh, go on, then.

Must be the highest average age for apple bobbers ever.

One minute, no hands... imagine you're a goat.

A goat?

[blows whistle][cries out]

[water splashing]

[muttering]

[blows whistle, exclaims]

Oh, well done!

[clapping]

LESLIE: Slightly less weirdly...

Who'd like to fly through the air

like a bird?

On my thrilling Birthday Ride Of Death!

Well, that's not gonna attract people, is it?

KRALEFSKY: I would like to try again with bananas.

I am always much better with bananas.

LOUISA: Well, give someone else a go.

Larry? LARRY: No, thank you!

[sighs]

[insects buzzing]

♪

Daphne!

You came!

I slept all day to be lively now.

[chuckling]: There you go.

Easy does it.

[glass clinking]

Glass of wine, for the pregnant lady.

[pouring wine]

There you go.

So that's all... that's all fine.

I've been reading books about having a baby.

I see it may cause gas and bloating.

Yeah.

For me or for you?

[laughs]LOUISA: Daphne!

Hello, ladies.

Can anyone guess why Spiros is being moody?

Perhaps his children are annoying him.

Hmm... does that happen?

Sven, Florence!

Why don't you come and have a go

on my Thrilling Aerial Safety Trapeze,

as I'm now calling it.

Love to, but I want to live.

I've got water in my head.

Oh, all right then... I'll demonstrate.

Come on... [claps] ...upstairs.

Spiros is sick,

and will not live.

Oh, who did you hear that from?

No.

You say, "Guess what is wrong."

What?

♪

[insects buzzing]

LESLIE: Always remember to hold on tight.

Nobody else is going down, Leslie.

[insects buzzing]

Also, always bend your knees as you make...

You're letting in bugs!

[Leslie yelping]

[grunts, groans]

♪

[people laughing and talking]

Yeah, I've been having some...

exotic dreams recently.

Oh!

What about?

[whispering]: You don't want to know.

Hm?

Hm.

[chuckles softly]

You look horribly solemn.

[sighs]

[people talking in background]

[clinking, talking stops]

I hate to interrupt

the slightly subdued fun,

but we'd love to say a few words

about Gerry on his birthday.

You only turn 12 once.

13.

Isn't he 13?

That would be twice.

Oh, yeah, right, sorry... anyway.

Gerald.

He loves an animal, as you'll all be aware.

[donkey braying]

Yes, thank you.

But to us, he'll always be

the eternal baby of the family.

Though the youngest in a crowded family,

we have so many happy memories of him.

We really do.

[chuckles]: Margo?

Yeah.

[sighs]

We were out shopping once,

probably for gin, as it was Mother's drinking years...

Yes, thank you.

And we looked around

and Gerry was lost.

But we found him in another shop.

Oh, crap, did I miss something out?

As Mark Twain said,

"There has never been as yet an uninteresting life."

He clearly hasn't met my Uncle Geoffrey.

[Larry chuckles]

No, he's fine. [clears throat]

But picture this scene from Gerry's youth.

The Durrell family were at a civic unveiling...

[sighs]

Ooh, I love this one, sweetie.

Yes, yes.

[insects buzzing, Leslie panting]

You try and do something special...

LARRY: And Gerry looks the mayor in the eye,

and says, "Well, I don't know what you call it,

but that looks like an arse to me!"

[chuckle lightly]

LOUISA: Thank you, Larry.

And now if you'll all join me in raising a glass

to Gerry on his 12th birthday.

It's my 13th birthday.

I'm 13... everyone knows except you.

[chuckling]: Yes... oops.

No, not "oops."

You keep treating me like an infant.

I knew you'd embarrass me.

And do you think I'm stupid?

I know all those stories were made up.

And do you know I'm a vegetarian now,

but what do you do?

You cut ham into the shape of carrots for me!

[puts ham down]

Why won't you just let me grow up?!

LARRY: Come on, Gerry.

Hopeless!

Gerry, it's all right!

And this pass the parcel...

[paper ripping]

♪

[ripping stops]

[toy animal thuds]Leave me alone!

♪

[footsteps retreating]

[chuckling]: What a lovely baby dog.

[exhales]

♪

[grunts softly]

It's me.

[places jar down]

[sighs]

[knocking]

♪

He hates me.

Little wretch.

How dare he not warm to our finely honed reminiscences?

I just want to hold him and squeeze him,

like he's five again.

Well, that is his point.

He's leapt forward.

Haven't you noticed?

The average age of his human friends is about 50.

Yes, but that's another reason

to treat him like a child.

You know, he was so angry, with me.

[sighs]

Look at these.

Gerry wrote this

just after we arrived in Corfu.

And this one last week.

They're historical documents.

Gerry's going to be a really good writer.

I'm proud.

You're all just moving further away from me every year.

You know, the last time you let me

brush your teeth for you all,

or the last time you let me hold your hand

as we walked across the road.

And look what replaces that!

Living as equals, us helping you for once.

Holding your hand to help you cross the road.

[sniffles]

Right, well from now on, I'm going to treat Gerry

like a 13-year-old.

[sniffles]

Or 14, to be on the safe side.

Hmm.

[insects buzzing]

[nickers]

[insects buzzing]

♪

[knock at door]

[sighs]

[people laughing in distance]

Let's be miserable sons-of-the-bitches together.

[sighs]

Gerrys.

You're sad

because you are... at the start of your adult life,

and that can be hell.

And I'm sad because suddenly it feels

like I'm at the end of mine.

[singing in Greek]:

[dog barking]

[barking, Spiros singing faintly]

So the first person to pin the tail on the donkey...

[donkey whines]

Well, attach it, because it's alive... wins.

♪

Go!

[various people shouting commands]

♪

Careful, careful!

MARGO: I said he's cheating... you have to go the other way.

[speaking Greek]:

PAVLOS:

PETRIDIS:

[yelps]

[knock at door]

Gerry threw me out of his room.

It smells of animals and the sloth scares me.

Right.

Larry! I will teach you songs

that will make you cry hot tears of sorrow.

Where did you find my guitar?

SPIROS: Gerry was hiding it, because you are so bad.

LARRY: What?

MARGO: Leslie, what are you doing? You're cheating.

LESLIE: I'm not cheating, I'm protecting my unborn child.

MARGO: Turn around!

That's it, Daphne, come on!

I can smell you.

Well, you've had practice with Leslie.

[laughing, people talking]

Gerry worships you, you know that.

[exhales]

He won't if I keep getting it wrong.

Well, I was a bit surprised you hadn't noticed.

Gerry's been the most mature person in your family for years.

[exclaiming]

[laughing]

You're right.

Fine... change of plan.

DAPHNE: I found it!

[donkey braying, people cheering, clapping]

[mouse squeaking]

[knock at door]

It's Theo.

How's the party?

Lively.

Your outburst lit the touch paper on the evening.

I shouldn't've done it... just couldn't shut myself up.

Your mother can't always get it right.

She loves you.

Love's easy.

It's not embarrassing me, that's the hard part.

Embarrassment is temporary.

Love is eternal.

I promise I didn't get that out of a Christmas cracker.

Make her feel less bad.

I don't know why,

but I've never been very good

with the... emotional words.

[footsteps approaching]

Hello.

Hello.

I'm sorry I miscalculated your age.

I brought you a beer.

Thank you.

[gulps]

[strained]: Yep, tastes good.

It's a shandy, actually, but there's a lot of beer in it.

Do come and join us.

When you feel ready.

I will.

[doorknob rattles]

♪

Let's play!

[talking excitedly]

Love to see knowledge being passed on!

Easy does it.

[talking excitedly]

LESLIE: Come on, Zoltan, that's it!

[groans]

Zoltan, what was that?

Squeeze harder, Pavlos!

LESLIE: That's it, Zoltan, come on!

Come on, come on, come on.

Pick up the pace!

Yes!

Yes, we won! Even with a setback!

[speaking Greek]:

LUGARETZIA:

[guitar playing]

[singing in Greek]

[singing along hesitantly]

[both singing]

[repeating Spiros's lines]

[singing continues]

[strums guitar, song ends]

Right, I must just go...

Now I will translate.

[groans]

"I feel dead inside.

"I am crying all the time.

"We are in the...

[hums]: We are in the..."

What is it?

In the way?

In the conservatory?

No!

♪ We are in...

Wouldn't you prefer a cheerier song?

♪ I'm Henry VIII, I am

♪ She wouldn't have a Willy or a Sam ♪

♪ I'm a bit of a nob I am

[imitates drumming]

[clears throat]

Yes, no, I can see that wouldn't work.

I should really be downstairs helping.

One more, one more.

[sighs]

[snapping a beat]

[strumming guitar]

[cheering, laughing]

Spiros says, divide the cube root of 64 in half

and give the answer in your second language!

Do! Two!

[exclaims]

SVEN: Two.Wait...

Spiros says, shake your scaphoid bone in the air!

FLORENCE: Margo! Yeah!

[laughing]

Get down on the floor and roll over!

Yes!

♪ Bye, Margo

FLORENCE: He didn't say, "Spiros says."

I'm not playing anymore.

[groaning]Margo.

Come on, Pavlos.

Yay, Gerry!

[laughing]

Gerry!

LOUISA: Ah, Gerry.

Have you met Florence's niece Nelly properly?

No... good evening.

How do.

Why don't you two join me in the kitchen,

where it's quieter?

DAPHNE: Leslie, I'm looking forward to...

Oh, busy here.

Ah, come through.

I'm looking...

[footsteps retreating]

I'm looking forward...[door opens]

[sighs]

[footsteps retreating slowly]

[bottles clink]

[sighs]

[chuckling]

I'm looking forward to our baby's parties.

[chuckling]: Right.

So are you scared of having the baby?

Oh, no.

Why spoil the joy by being scared?

♪

There, that's much nicer.

Now you can get to know each other quietly here.

Ooh!

[footsteps retreating]

[quietly]: Party gets better and better.

[exhales]

I hope that's reassured you.

Although it looked angry,

it's... perfectly harmless.[mumbles]

[people laughing and talking in distance]

♪

MARGO: Are you sure, Pavlos?

PAVLOS: Yes.

[praying]

[shouting]

[shouting in Greek]

Whoa!

I'll get a ladder.

[whimpering]

I hear Yorkshire has some stunning habitats for...

for birds of prey.

Does it?

Yes.

[opens bottle]

[people laughing in distance]

Mmm, that's a good beer.

I don't like beer.

Glad you said that... nor do I.

Why am I sitting here wi' you?

I've no idea.

Thank you.

It was nice here... wi' you,

but I don't think we could ever be

boyfriend and girlfriend.

What you going on about?

You're a flamin' kid.

I'm a worldly-wise woman.

[laughing in distance]

[scoffs]

[groans]

Stupid embarrassing mother!

♪

So you like me more now.

[laughs]

You know I always liked you.

It's just, when this happened, when you stopped being Daphne

and became the mother of a child I thought I didn't want...

And now?

Come here.

[thumping loudly, guitar playing in distance]

[Spiros playing guitar, singing loudly in Greek]

[song stops]

Goodbye.

It's important that men are sad together sometimes.

No, it isn't!

And I wasn't sad

until you dragged me into your crucible of despair.

I'm starting to envy the bugs

who knock themselves out on the window.

Sorry.

I'm going downstairs

on the off chance that anyone's still there.

Come on!

Apart from anything,

Mother is twice as happy whenever you're around.

But first...

quickly, and without singing about it...

you have to tell me what is the matter with you.

People change.

Sometimes you feel

that you know someone,

but it turns out...

[guitar thuds on bed]

...you don't.

Who are you talking about?

♪

[insects buzzing]

[sighs]

[fast-paced music playing]

Dancing and drinking!

[laughing, party horn tooting]

[talking excitedly]

You need to talk to Spiros.

What's happened?

He said not to tell you, but...

...his wife has left him.

[music continues, people talking excitedly]

[dance music continues, people talking excitedly]

[grunting]

[barking]

[knock at door]

[excitedly]: Galini!

I wanted to come before,

but I was looking after my little brother.

It's okay.

[paper rustling]

Happy birthday.

Oh.

It is now you're here.

[chuckles]

Oh, it's the dog-worming powder I need!

Thank you so much!

[chuckle softly]

[dance music playing]

♪ Ba ba ba ba ba

Hey!

[singing along to beat]

[giggling]

[singing continues]

Come on!

What's that?

This?

Nothing, really.

[paper rustles]

"Do you understand me at all?

"No supreeze the young fly the nest

"To make their own way in freedom

without your suffocating embrass."

Gerry didn't mean it.

He's just experimenting with verse and form...

It's all right.

Gerry's not the first angry adolescent.

I just... I just thought I was his friend,

as well as his parent.

Come on, that never works.

Friendships are two-a-penny.

Why do you want that when you're his mother?

And a stonking row is much more illuminating than civility.

[singing continues]

[laughing]

[singing, talking excitedly]

It has never been the same

since I single-handedly defended

an innocent postmistress

from an unruly mob!

Oh.

There were a dozen of them,

hell-bent on stealing postal orders.

No more doctoring!

I'm here to enjoy myself!

[singing to music]

Wait, wait, everyone, come back.

We can't hear the music, back!

[groaning, talking excitedly]

Come on!

We have to go home.

What?

Now, where did I leave the baby?

Oh, yes, kitchen.

Nelly!

Ten years learning to become a doctor.

I should have followed my dream, become a dancer.

Yes, darling... come on.

A dancer, yes... oh, yes, a dancer.

[singing to music]

[music fades]

[donkey snorting]

[hooves clomping, insects buzzing]

[inhales sharply]

As Gerry's been making a fuss about being older,

let me round off the evening with this note of levity.

[laughing]

Although as a policeman, I should advise you

that vandalism can carry a sentence of up to...

Oh, shut up.[groans]

You look like you're finally in love.

Are you happy to be having a baby?

[breathily]: Well...

It's been a very emotional evening, um...

No, it's fine... I'll, I'll answer.

Yes, I am glad we're having a baby

and I'm ashamed it took me this long to feel that way.

Blimey.

Excellent.

Since we're getting everything out in the open...

[quietly]: I'll only mess it up.

I have to go.

You can tell me anything... you know that, don't you?

Well, any of us.

You're like the sixth Durrell.

Unless that's a depressing thought.

You already have the sixth Durrell.

Tell Gerrys "happy birthday."

♪

Everyone's changing.

Except me, actually.

LESLIE: Come on, let's walk you home.

DAPHNE: Thank you.

MARGO: And I'll walk you home.

ZOLTAN: Thank you.

♪

I'm sorry, Frank, you're the only young male available.

Do you mind me talking to you like this?

Everyone else seems to have a partner.

Well, except Larry, and God knows who he's got lined up.

And perhaps Spiros, but he's gone.

[door opens]

Get some sleep.

I'll go downstairs and make up a bed for Galini.

No, stay.

Thank you for throwing me a birthday party,

I enjoyed it.

Oh, look, your pants are on fire.

[chuckles]

I feel like I'm always messing up

and having to apologize to you, but...

I won't apologize for wanting you to stay 12 forever.

Because I will always love you,

but you are especially perfect right now.

Or I was when I was 12.

Because I'm 13 now.

Oh, yes, yes, so I gather.

And I'll always love you, too.

I know you saw my... attempted poem

but that was a...

Well, let's call it a first draft.

This is what I really mean.

Oh, right.

"You understand me completely with occasional lapses.

"And when I fly away,

"It will always be to return to your embrace

"Here in this mad, warm nest of love.

"And one day, I will make you a zoo.

It's what you've always wanted... trust me."

♪

Thank you.

Two highly strung writers in the house.

No wonder I'm weeping.

Night-night.

♪

[thumping]

[thumping and yelping]

Dr. Petridis, is that you?

I heard you were kindly giving discreet consultations

in the cupboard.

[door opens, Louisa shrieks]

[clears throat]: Hello.

Thank you for a lovely party, Mrs. Durrell.

[whispering]: Where did she spring from?

Well, it is a party, isn't it?

[sighs]

I'll walk you home.

Well, halfway home.

LARRY: Right, let's go.

[knock at door]

[door closes]

Mrs. Durrells.

Spiros.

I think you know already.

My wife has left me.

Oh, Spiros!

And taken the children.

To her mother in Athens.

I couldn't tell you because...

I'm ashamed, that I...

that I've let my family break apart.

No.

Why has she gone?

I don't know.

I lend money and I lose it.

I...

Spend too much time with other people.

Including you.

Ah.

Maybe we are different now, and she has...

She has just fallen out of love with me.

What do you feel about her?

I don't know.

I just... can't bear not having my children near me.

Anyway...

I'm glad I told you.

It's not easy.

The house seems very quiet.

I'm sure.

I must go.

I saw several couples on the road, walking home.

I should drive them.

If I can't be happy, at least they can.

You know, you can.

Be happy.