Original subtitles

The one thing human beings want

is to be loved.

We make...

great structures, humanity does,

and we go to the moon,

and we make poetry, and science, and all that we do

is to be loved.

We all want

that... To be loved.

IN CHILE THEY TORTURE, RAPE, KILL

How scary.

This is the poster.

Team, get ready.

- Good luck. - Thank you.

Break a leg!

I always felt, like,

alone, like... not enough.

When I'd go to school,

I'd sing a song,

and I'd have everyone's attention, the whole class, the teacher,

and they'd applaud for me.

They loved me, they all wanted to be my friends.

And if I add hand gestures to this song,

I'll be like their...

their fool, you know? Like their clown.

But they loved me more, they saw me more.

It's my first Latin Grammy.

And then I'd go home,

and everything was the opposite. I was invisible.

I didn't matter.

So,

I pushed myself my whole life to prove that I was enough,

and I also got used to doing outstanding things

to be loved.

So people would love me.

My love was true

I really loved you

In spite of your silence

I loved you more

A kiss on the train

Was suddenly so violent

Sometimes so wild

I'm desperate...

Joelito's birthday was the 10th. We were in the pool all day.

We had a barbecue.

It went late. It was dark and we were still in the pool.

How delicious.

We grilled pizza and rolls, and we sat there...

How nice.

- Do I look good? - Yes.

- Yes. - Look.

YOU WILL BE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL FLOWER 2021

To tell you this story, I have to tell you the whole thing.

We all lived with my grandma.

My parents,

my sister, and I,

and my uncle,

and his family.

We all lived here.

My grandma was a singer and composer.

She wrote boleros.

She told me they called her "The Queen of Bolero" in her time.

She taught me to sing and...

she'd put on music and we'd sing together and she'd play guitar.

She taught me to, like,

to do stage shows, to stand up straight.

To do all this stuff.

For example, I wanted to be a composer.

That came from her, because she wrote her own songs.

Her writing her own songs

was important to me

'cause not all women wrote their own songs.

Women, especially during that time,

were more in a role of playing the songs.

And my grandma did write her own songs, right?

So, I wanted to do that too.

I like to bring my grandma flowers.

She liked that. In fact, she always came to the cemetery

and brought flowers to her mom, to her husband...

and I'd always come with her.

"Don't get married. Say no to men. Men are bad."

"Love doesn't exist. Look for someone with money."

My grandma and her advice. She was really funny.

My grandma would always tell me

that I had to...

get out of this neighborhood.

For her that was the best thing that could happen to me in life.

I think it had to do

with the suffering and violence that existed

in our family, too.

Then we moved. We went to live

a bit more downhill, in Gómez Carreño.

It was my parents' first apartment

as husband and wife.

It was one of those... those government facilities.

I felt like they were happy because they had

their little home, like they were starting their family.

I have this strong memory of them buying a boom box.

When it arrived, we opened it,

and it smelled like plastic, like new.

And we turned off the lights,

and they put the radio on really loud to listen to music.

Us four were seated.

All you could see was the little red light on the radio,

and us four were seated like...

just listening to music on our new radio.

A beautiful memory.

What is that?

Baby clothes.

Are you having a baby?

- Congratulations. - Thanks so much.

- Me too. - I know. It's the same baby.

Under the bed is where the spider dance

is held...

It smells like shit.

I need to take out the trash.

Hello.

The tour begins today.

I'm three months pregnant.

I feel...

huge.

I've never felt so... giant.

And I'm super excited.

I'm going to get on the bus.

I'm in Los Angeles, and we're going to Seattle.

So... that's it.

This concert is my twenty...

No. Which concert is this?

Seventeen, I think? 18?

Well,

I still have ten left.

Don't bother me

I feel good.

Like, I feel alive again, singing and everything.

But it's super different while pregnant.

I mean, managing both things.

It's something I wanted so much, being pregnant.

We did IVF,

and were successful on our second try.

We were ready to try a third time,

even though it's really tough, really tough emotionally.

And I believe I'll keep doing my things with my baby.

I'll do it all the same way.

I don't want to leave him in his crib.

I don't care what they say, I'll be with him.

All the time.

...and hummingbirds fly around

Sunflowers sparkle

And seeds rain down

I've waited so long for you

And I'll take care of you...

My intuition is telling me now that I'm going to be super creative.

I mean, I've woken up working,

and the next day I wake up as if nothing has happened.

Like, getting up early,

or not sleeping because I'm caring for the baby I so sought for and wanted,

I think that will be... beautiful.

Orchid hair...

I was terrified of this wall as a child because my mom traumatized me.

She told me a story about a kid who ran through here

and smashed into the wall and died.

My mom and her methods so I wouldn't run.

That's how I was educated.

In that building there, where we came from,

that's where I had my first tongue kiss.

With tongue.

That's where I'd sit and write songs.

Right there. All afternoon.

I strove to be a songwriter.

I remember that I'd try to make a song out of everything.

I mean, any situation I was in. If I liked someone or...

I don't know. Anything. I'd try to make it a song.

I remember there was no internet during that time,

so I had a notebook where I'd write

all the words that rhymed.

So when I needed, when running out of ideas,

I'd be like, "I need something that rhymes with this,"

and the rhyme would appear.

My parents separated when I was seven years old.

That was a turning point. My father left.

My mom had a lot of financial problems, she got sick.

She was doing her thing, I think, trying to live... her own life.

That tree is gorgeous.

We went to the hillside every day, and we'd collect these white, dry flowers.

We'd take a ton of flowers.

My mom would paint them, and we'd make bouquets and sell them.

We had fun with my sister.

It was like a game for us, going to collect things from the hill,

and that turned into an income in the end.

I remember one time, I found five lucas

on the ground, and I put my foot like this...

My heart was beating like this...

So, I kept the five lucas. I took them.

Look, the story with my dad...

They separated and started fighting about who would keep us.

I remember feeling like a bargaining chip,

because they were fighting about who would stay,

but I didn't really feel like either wanted to stay with us.

It was a fight between them.

When he loses custody of his daughters,

he leaves. He decides to leave. To disappear... completely.

Both physically and financially.

My mom was always looking for my dad.

My mom would send us out, saying,

"Knock on that door, that's where your dad lives."

And we'd knock and they'd say, "No, not here." Things like that.

Years looking for him.

In reality, it was tedious for me,

it was going back to this place, knock, walk.

It was hot, I was hungry, and I had to look for Dad.

So I didn't want to look for him.

Until one day, I was already living with my grandma,

I was like 17 or 18... I was 17.

I called him...

and... he hung up on me.

Then I tried to call again, and he hung up again,

until I finally said, "Dad, I don't want anything from you."

"I don't want money."

"I just want to know you."

He hung up on me.

Let's go! Up! Ready?

I used to walk with the shadows

Waiting

Waiting for you

Sometimes I played with the waves

I'd ask them

"Where did he go?"

And while my eyelashes danced

The spiders were climbing me

With my little finger I covered the sun

While my heart drowned...

How's that? Get up!

Like a broken spring

I'm split in half

Even today, I feel alone

Searching in thousands

Searching in people

Searching in men

In so many men

Your humanity, your paternity...

Non, rien de rien

Non, je ne regrette rien

Ni le bien...

- You sing great. Sounds great. - Thank you!

I should do this for a living.

...ni le mal

Tout ça m'est bien égal...

We're in Las Vegas.

You remind me of someone

With the way you dance

What is it about your gaze?

I feel like everything burns me

I thought about you all afternoon

Anywhere you go, I see you

I want to kiss your lips

It's just that I want to touch you...

Wait until 8:30. I'll tell you then.

Know what? Ready? Prepared?

- Ready. Yes. - Juan Carlos, shot. Audio.

- Okay. We're good. Rolling. - Perfect. Three... two, one.

Mon Laferte.

One of the... most nominated women in these Latin Grammys.

I'm nominated for Regional Mexican Song.

Don't even ask me the question.

- Just stamp me. - Exactly.

"What else? I represent them."

Nancy, about the Chile show,

I think it would be best to go there for the summer,

because if you guys want me to go...

it'd be best in summer.

But what I need is a 100% confirmation,

with exact dates, so I can block that date.

How exciting.

I'm feeling...

- I'm feeling the first little kicks, I'm... - He's moving?

...very excited.

First time.

How exciting.

My shoe size went up like a whole size.

- Really? - Yeah, from fluid retention.

My feet... I feel like an empanada.

Bye.

What part of "This is Moulin Rouge and this is mariachi" do they not get?

I don't know.

- I understand... - I mean, that is Moulin Rouge.

- Totally. - And from day one I've rejected that.

I don't want Moulin Rouge because I'm going Mariachi.

Explain this stage design to me.

- We have to change it. - Of course.

They fucked up.

- Seems like it. - And?

And they're fixing it now.

They called the creative content team to fix it.

Then my mom got a boyfriend.

An alcoholic guy.

Violent.

He lived there with us for seven years.

We had a lot of financial problems. A lot.

It was not a family environment.

I mean, it's also important

to understand that poverty brings many problems along with it.

I think my mother was trying to survive day by day,

to not be so sick, to have enough to be able to eat.

To come up with ways for us to have money.

And she got into a relationship

that was toxic, violent, that she couldn't leave.

When you're a child and you're poor,

I don't think there's much time to ponder.

It's just day-to-day.

We'll finish today and see what comes the next.

It was hard.

He also abused me. A lot of things happened.

I didn't tell my mom.

I didn't understand what was happening.

I didn't understand.

Yeah, that's it.

It's also not something I've talked about much.

I felt a lot of rejection towards my mom during that time.

Even physically, I couldn't get close to her.

There was a lot of... pain there. A lot of rage.

How beautiful you look There in the kitchen

A little slower With your hands spread apart

When you hugged me

I became your daughter again

And now, in your arms I make the bitterness a lost cause

Sometimes you'd yell

Sometimes you'd hit

But you, Mommy

You were so alone

And you knew how to give me

What you didn't have

I saw you cry over the lack of bread To keep us alive

And now that I'm here today

I saw you

So regretful and so tired

From carrying your cross And in that wounded heart

I have no doubt that you loved me

I saw you...

"Te vi."

"Te vi."

That song is really important to me.

When I showed it to my mom, she said

I didn't have to show it to anyone,

'cause everyone would know she hit me when I was little.

That she didn't want people to know

because she was so ashamed.

...and you sang to me...

It suddenly happened that,

it's still happening that, I feel kind of trapped,

and there have been a few times

when I start having, like, panic attacks... like I can't breathe.

Because I feel like motherhood is a lot of responsibility.

I've been able to connect more with my mom now.

I'm very close to my family, but not the type of closeness where...

where we talk every day,

like, "Mom, I want to see you." I don't know. Like...

We've learned to live with the distance.

No one is perfect.

Moms are imperfect women.

They're human beings.

Whatever it may be... however her...

her way of raising me was,

I'm here, and I'm grateful.

I'm... I'm here.

My dear love

There's truly nothing else

That I can do

You won't change You won't convince me

That now

Everything will be okay

For how long will you

Keep thinking

That you can play at asking With nothing to give?

Well, now

I won't be waiting for you

My dear love

If you don't want to come back

Why do you return to look for me Once again?

Don't ask me to give you one final night

My dear love

It seems easy for you

To leave only to later demand

That I love you

Like I feel nothing

Nothing...

The only place where I feel whole,

like if I were in a deep meditation,

is onstage.

I connect with my feelings, my emotions.

I connect with the people, and the people connect with that,

and are really honest, as well.

There's, like, this brutal honesty in performing live music.

My dear love

If you don't want to come back

Why do you return to look for me Once again?

Don't ask me to give you one final night...

There's this beautiful but irrational thing, it's ancient, from...

like, our ancestors and...

that thing is living to the fullest.

At times, I truly feel like...

I'm complete in that moment.

I love giving myself completely on stage.

Because that is living in the moment completely.

...that I loved you

Like I feel nothing

Nothing...

I started participating in school programs.

And after school,

I went to sing at a sports club.

At that sports club,

I met a man who was a hustler.

He called me on the phone one day and said, "Hey,"

"they're looking for a singer to work for them."

"Go audition."

I was 13 years old.

And I got picked.

And he said,

"Well, the payment right now is 1,500 pesos a day."

WHORES

1,500 Chilean pesos.

I mean, nothing.

I mean, context.

We were eating stale bread then, right?

So that 1,500 pesos was a lot for me.

I loved it. I mean, I'd go out every day

and meet people, and sing and sing.

I never stopped singing.

I had entered middle school,

and I wasn't interested in studying.

I think that was a relief for my mom

because it was her responsibility to take me,

and watch out for me.

I was very messy, rebellious,

I'd started using drugs.

And I didn't want to. I didn't want to be in school.

I only wanted to sing, I already had that job,

so I was doing something else.

No. School wasn't something that interested me.

And, well, that's when I started... my...

time working, and it never ended.

WHEN I WAS 13, I HAD A 34-YEAR-OLD BOYFRIEND.

AT FIRST, I WANTED NOTHING TO DO WITH HIM,

BUT HE INSISTED AND I FINALLY LET HIM KISS ME.

IT LASTED FIVE YEARS AND IT...

...AND IT WAS MY FAULT.

I found this singing job,

and that's where I met an older guy.

He was 21 years older than me.

He got close to me, saw I was a lonely girl,

and told me that

he would help me, he'd take away my problems,

that God put him on my path,

that he was my savior, and that he'd only give me love.

But that I'd have to give up drugs, I'd have to give up all my vices

in order to surrender to God's love.

And I bought it.

I was a very lonely girl, very lost.

He was also very uneducated.

I taught him to write and to read.

And...

I wound up having a romantic relationship with him for five years.

He was a married man, with kids.

I saw him like a God.

I respected him, but I was afraid of him.

I did what he told me.

He was a street performer.

A clown.

I'd go with him.

I also sang there sometimes, I sang on the street.

I sang in bars, at the circus,

I sang in taverns,

at festivals, I traveled all over Chile.

He wound up becoming my "manager."

He took half of all my earnings.

In our family, it was like,

"She quit studying,

but she's working."

"She's bringing home money,

she doesn't do drugs, doesn't drink."

So no one said anything.

They all knew

what was going on, even though it was a well-known secret.

Because he was my "manager."

So no one said anything.

I remember during that time,

working on the streets and spending many hours there,

looking at the ground for a coin.

It was sometimes like, "A coin."

I'd always walk around with a bunch of coins,

I smelled like coins,

because they'd do jokes on the street

and we'd grab the coins, count the coins,

or sometimes I'd sing, and the coins, it was always like... a lot of coins.

I didn't do anything but work.

And do what he said I had to do.

Yeah, things just happened.

I remember feeling miserable...

...during those years.

WHORE. THIS HAPPENED TO YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE A WHORE

I was very afraid of him.

I was afraid he would kill himself, too,

because he used to say that he came into this world

to take care of me, and if we weren't together,

he had nothing left to do

in this world. But that I was free.

I could leave whenever I wanted.

So much manipulation.

He didn't think about me. He didn't love me.

I think.

I remember going on a trip to Antofagasta, in the north.

With him.

One of the last trips I took with him.

We went to work in the street.

I met a girl that used to date him

when she was also a minor.

And I talked with her and...

and it opened my eyes, I understood that what was happening to me

was abuse.

In that moment, I understood. I didn't understand before then.

I kept on

believing his God story, you know?

And when I realized what he was doing,

that he'd done it several times with other minor girls...

my eyes were opened on that trip.

And I wanted with all my soul

to achieve something in my life in order to get out of that,

of being with an older guy,

of that violence.

And... that's how I went to the TV casting, with a lot of wishful thinking.

I remember telling that guy.

And that day, at the bus terminal, I said, "This is the last time I'll see you."

I mean, I'd never dared to say anything to him.

I was terrified of him.

In that moment, when I said goodbye to him,

I was afraid he'd kill himself.

I thought, "He's going to kill himself, but..."

"It doesn't matter." It stopped mattering to me.

And he said, "Okay."

And he left.

And I never heard about him again.

He disappeared completely.

That's very strange.

Never hearing anything about him again.

I had been...

I'd been so afraid of what could happen.

You know?

And nothing happened.

I went to Santiago.

I was chosen for the program.

And for me it was...

It was the chance of a lifetime.

And I had to take it.

I can tell you that she's 19 years old, is single, and is from Viña del Mar.

Monserrat Bustamante singing "La media vuelta" by Luis Miguel.

MONSERRAT BUSTAMANTE SINGER

I took it very seriously.

For me, it was my... everything.

And... it was my salvation.

It changed my life.

Who did we invite to share with María José, Claudio?

We invited Monserrat Bustamente,

a new, 19-year-old singer.

She's singing with 12-year-old María José Quintanilla.

They're singing "La media vuelta" by Javier Solís.

I said I had a boyfriend my own age.

I could be myself.

I was happy because I was doing something I liked,

I could see the light.

Yeah, I felt very happy.

I wanted to win at life more than winning a program.

To win money.

Right? Like that Argentine singer who was asked

who taught her to sing and she said,

"Hunger."

I learned to do

all kinds of antics

and to be charming...

out of hunger.

Don Jaime Coloma, score for Monserrat Bustamante?

- 5.8. - 5.8!

JUDGE GIVES A SCORE TO MONSERRAT

Another thing that also seems complex, Monserrat,

I believe it's a flaw you sometimes have,

is not that your performance is excessive, but lacks feeling.

So, giving my all is bad, it's excessive.

- No. - You know I really give my all on stage.

I give it all, my whole heart.

I'm unhappy. They always give me low scores.

I don't get it. I look at myself and I'm happy.

I don't get why.

So great that you're able to self-criticize, Monserrat,

you'll go so far. Keep that up and you'll go super far.

A SINGER LEAVES THE PROGRAM TODAY

After I started to advance and do a bit better,

I came with my songs and wanted to express myself

because they told me, "You'll record an album

with Jaime Román, the music producer."

They weren't even good,

but he could've at least listened to them, but, no, he didn't want to.

And it was... horrible. Every time I saw him, he'd harass me.

I mean, we're talking the five years that the program was on.

That was the worst thing that happened to me on Rojo.

Very innocently, I went

and spoke with the program director.

For the first time, I told them, "Look, I'm being harassed by Jaime Román."

"And I want to leave."

And they said to me, "We'll help you."

"We didn't know this about Jaime. How horrible. We'd never imagine."

And I felt victorious. I said, "Good."

And absolutely nothing happened.

Nothing.

For most of my life, I was always escaping from something in some way,

or searching for something, maybe.

Right? Since I was little,

I wanted to leave my mom's house.

And that same thing happened. Suddenly like, "I'm leaving Chile."

"I'm searching for something. I don't know what."

"I don't know if I'm escaping or searching or looking for myself."

I saw that many people started going to Mexico, I was like,

"Okay, if everyone's going there, I'll have to go see what's there."

This is going to be insane!

To record a movie!

Hell yeah!

- Good evening. - Good evening.

No!

Is my body showing?

Just from your shoulders up.

And if I do this?

And this?

Are you ready for tomorrow?

Yes. I'm ready.

- Are you? - Me too.

When I got to Mexico, it was...

ultimate freedom.

In a huge city with 25 million people, and I didn't know anyone,

and...

and I felt so free to be who I wanted to be.

There was no past here, there was no family, no friends.

There was nothing. I was...

I could start a life like I wanted, from scratch, and...

I also allowed myself to do things that I hadn't previously.

To start to live and enjoy my...

my youth.

I came to Mexico at 23, 24 years old.

I don't know. I started to live... freely.

Yes. I'm ready.

- Want me to close these? - No. Keep them open.

Should I open more?

- How do I turn off this light? - I'll turn it off.

- I think I prefer this. - Okay.

Rafa is joining.

Today you begin the first of three concerts at the Metropolitan,

which is, in some ways, the closure of a great year for you.

We're seeing that it was tremendous.

Two completely different albums, winning a Grammy.

I'd like to ask you about that, how you assess your year.

This time, as an award-winner with a gramophone, right?

- Yes. - You won it

for Best Singer-Songwriter Album if I'm not mistaken. But...

you're nominated for Best Regional Music Album,

but for the Grammy Award...

Not the Latin Grammys, but the big Grammys.

It's interesting to see how your music has evolved,

like your album Seis,

which was included on the list of the best albums of 2021,

but something I like is that you have two sold out shows.

You're adding a third date too, almost sold out.

But you're amongst the most listened-to artists.

You have 6.3 million Spotify listeners monthly.

Your most listened-to song,

"Tu falta de querer," has 241.6 million plays.

Well, that's a lot. I didn't know it had so many plays.

This makes me really happy.

I imagine you've had an easy pregnancy,

since you've been able to launch this tour in the United States.

And now, I don't know when you'll stop to give birth to that baby.

What can you tell us about that, Mon?

I won't stop. I'll give birth on stage.

My phone is ringing.

I'm not going to answer it.

Dani, I need the radio.

- Sorry? - The radio.

- I'm asking for it. - I need it now.

But I need it. It's more important than whatever you're doing.

Okay.

Hello, doctor.

Sorry to bother you again, but I'm having...

really bad allergies and I haven't taken the loratadine.

Since you said that...

I mean, you preferred I didn't use it.

I'm having these, like...

small asthma attacks.

Last night, it was really hard to breathe.

Actually, I can barely sleep because I can't breathe.

And I don't want to take anything that could harm the baby.

Tell me what I can do.

I have a show tonight.

I have a show tonight, tomorrow, and the day after that.

And my throat is very irritated, and...

And I can't breathe.

My airways are closed and I sound like... a whistle.

My allergies are killing me! I want to scratch everything.

What are you allergic to?

My job isn't being in an office or having a normal schedule.

This is my job and I've done the same thing my whole life,

so my body is used to doing this.

But, I have to work, and my doc gave me permission, so...

I'm going to work.

I love that one time, I saw an interview with Lady Gaga,

and they asked her, "Did you ever think that you'd be famous?"

And she said, "I've always been famous, it's just no one knew it yet."

- I loved that. - I saw that on YouTube.

We're going to connect to the music, to your emotions.

I know it's difficult when we always do the same thing,

but surely, there are songs that mean something to you,

melodies that touch you.

You're my backing band, you guys are the show,

and I need you more than ever because I'm...

operating at half capacity.

Even less.

We give it our all! If not, what's it for?

Honestly, it sounded really good, as usual.

- Your singing was perfect. - No. I sang horribly, dude.

- No. - I'm just really hard on myself.

I was struggling too much to sing.

I couldn't breathe.

During the second song I was like, "My God!"

I mean, I wasn't even at 30% capacity.

It's the first time.

- I sang horribly. - You did not sing horribly.

- I sang horribly. - You sang well, you just...

I don't like when you lie to me.

- You were very tired. - Dude.

No, but you could tell that you were suddenly...

- I mean, you were short of breath. - ...of breath.

I mean, yeah.

Yeah, so that it really helps you. That.

That.

That's what we should have, something like that.

- To elevate your feet. - For the last two songs.

I started to sing at a bar in Veracruz.

Six hours from Mexico City by bus.

Covers.

And I began to live the night.

I was there for a year. I sang on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday.

On Sunday, I'd take the bus back to my house in Mexico City,

since I lived in Mexico City.

I'd be there Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday,

trying to do something with my music,

like trying to meet people, or make connections, or do something.

Then, on the weekend, I'd go to Veracruz.

Two, three, four...

The next year,

I got a job at a bar in Mexico City,

and that's how it was for many years, I just played in bars.

My heart is racing

You shot me hard

You looked at me slowly, slowly

I have your body doing spins

I like them, like you

An electric crash inside

Give me a try...

At some point, I started to have a lot of fans of the covers.

I mean, they followed me to each bar I'd sing at.

I remember them saying, "When will you record your album?"

Next week, we start on Mon Laferte's album.

I'm happy. I'm nervous!

I think it will be incredible.

My first album is Desechable.

We're talking 2011.

But then, with Tornasol,

more people started following my music,

and there came a period when, at many places,

I'd play my own songs.

And there were many forums to play in,

and we did a lot of that in parks, we'd play on the street,

and they'd come with us and help us.

But at that time, there was a big independent music scene.

I hid

I held myself up But I can't anymore

I strongly remember

during that Tornasol period...

starting to also feel like...

capable.

I started to find myself too.

To listen to myself. To listen and to find my voice, you know?

In my writing, as well. And to trust, that's very important.

Yeah, it was a lovely time, like...

the Mexican underground, it was all very alternative.

- Hello? - Hello?

- Daniela? - No, this is Mon.

Tell me the truth, let's be super honest.

Is someone coming or not? Have they left or not?

- What's happening? - They left.

- Give me that person's number, please. - Sure, I'll send that to you.

I'm waiting for the person to help me because we have a ton of problems.

The nails are on backwards... So many things are wrong.

You put my nails on backwards.

They are about to be there...

Be honest, tell me if they're coming or not.

- If not, I'll figure it out myself. - No, they are coming.

The buttons are wrong, the belt is wrong, the nails are wrong.

The belt for the red dress comes off, so we need...

My love, my baby. Come here my precious boy.

Okay, tell me what we have.

Padded black belt, thin red ribbon, nails, black tie, and buttons.

- That's it. - Yeah?

I'll see if they come. I'll take care of it.

Right, my love? How nice to sleep until 9:30.

He knew. He said, "Okay, fine. You have to sing today, Mom."

My beautiful little boy.

My son makes me so happy.

- How are you? - Very good. You?

- Good. - What's going on today?

- Everything's just been so stressful. - I can imagine.

I've never had to run around so much for a show.

Yeah, I saw.

- My cell? Anyone know where it is? - Here it is.

- Thank you. - Let's hydrate your lips.

When we have a chance...

Here you go.

- Rule number two. - Say nothing.

The team doesn't talk.

The main rule is I'm always right and everyone does as they're told.

- Buddy. - Yeah?

- What time did she say? Okay. - She still hasn't said.

- Are we making the circle? - Yes.

Do you have another color? A little more.

We leave in four.

- Coming. - You leave in four minutes.

Bye, Emilita.

Bye, my little guy, I love you.

- Take care, Momma! - Okay. Ready.

Ready? Let's go.

How handsome! You look incredible. I love it.

Okay, band.

It's my first show as a mother.

So it's going to be super beautiful and special.

Welcome to the club. We're gonna have fun.

That's it! Let's have a good time!

We give it our all! If not, what's it for?

I said goodbye

But I lied to you I didn't want to leave

I hid

I held myself up But I can't anymore

I wanted to erase you To forget you

But I keep remembering you

Hands up, let's go!

Let's see. Volumen 1, well, I love that album.

I remember that

I was about to start recording a new album with César, who was my partner.

César was someone super important.

And he'll always be very important in my life.

- Mon, I would play it with a ride. - If you want, we'll do it with a ride.

- That's what I said. - I'm saying with a ride solo.

A ride, but on the edge.

And suddenly... I found out about...

a mistake, a foolish infidelity,

and I...

I was fucked up.

I felt that rejection

I had escaped from,

and...

I got really depressed, or better yet,

I realized that I'd been depressed for many years.

I've already got the gun ready

A shot to the head...

I stopped working.

I had no money. I mean, I was...

really bad.

I smoked like... I mean...

I think that it must have been very depressing to see me.

Unbathed.

With ashtrays full of butts.

Bottles. My house was a disaster.

I cried,

I made a scene, I threw myself to the floor, I drank, I screamed.

It was a disaster.

And...

And I became a horrible, dark,

dirty, and difficult person.

And I couldn't sleep. I had insomnia. I'd cry all day.

So, to sleep...

I'd drink my wine,

and without realizing it I started drinking more.

Glass after glass until, I didn't realize, but I'd become an alcoholic.

And I feel like there,

for the first time, I stopped fighting

and trying to be loved and be incredible, and strong, and marvelous.

Instead, I allowed myself

to suffer, I think, for the first time, like...

Or to cry for the first time.

Because I don't think I ever had.

And there was a moment when I started

googling every day

how to take my own life...

without pain.

And I went so far as to take pills, mix them.

Then, there was a night when...

I don't remember, honestly. I was so drunk.

I cut myself. I wanted to kill myself. Right?

I don't even remember.

I was fucked up.

I mean...

bad.

Ungrateful...

A friend of mine told me, "You'll be in really bad shape,

but a day will come when you'll wake up...

and the first thing you'll think about

won't be César or what you're going through."

"You're going to think of something else, and it won't be catastrophic."

"Hold on to that day."

Then, I remember waking up one day and looking at the ceiling,

and seeing there was a giant condensation stain.

I thought I'd have to fix it. So, I saw like...

hope, because I was worried

that I'd have to fix the condensation.

That speaks of wanting to be better.

And I had a ton of songs and I started recording them at home.

Me playing the guitar, me playing the bass,

with the help of my friends.

I'd say, "Record." And they would.

I'd say, "It doesn't matter. I'll record with what I have on hand."

My electricity was cut off.

Because I didn't pay the light bill since I wasn't working.

I remember being mad one day,

and taking an extension cord,

I put together all the extension cords I had,

and I went to the parking garage, plugged them in,

and I put... the extension cord went all the way to my door.

On the door, stuck like this... I put my computer and a lamp.

That's how I made the album.

And...

it healed me.

The launch was like, "I'm going to release it."

Push a button and... Internet, right? That's it.

Ready. Released.

Independent releases.

...Mon Laferte with "Tu falta de querer." Stay with us on Los 40.

We're on the radio, baby!

Today I went back

To sleep in our bed And it's all the same

The air and our cats Nothing will change

It's hard to forget you

And it started to go well...

It didn't make sense. I mean, everyone wanted to listen to the songs.

I was like, "What?"

And I realized that the songs, the music had magic too.

Because I didn't go out and sell this album.

I didn't do promos,

I didn't tell my story, nobody knew what had happened.

I mean, it's not like, "Poor girl." I wasn't being pitied.

It was incredible. It was a movie.

And at the end of the movie

I won.

I made my album with two pennies at my house,

and it's a success.

I have all these offers, and now I need to decide which to accept.

I felt incredible.

And tell me why

No

How is it

That you stopped loving me?

I could still put up with

Your complete lack of love

A month ago

I used to listen to you And be your accomplice

I thought there would be No one else but you

I was your friend I was your companion

Now I will sleep

Deeply to forget

I would like to die So as not to think

I cover myself up To relieve this bitterness

Come

And tell me the truth

Have pity

And tell me why

How did you stop loving me?

I could still put up with

Your complete lack of love

Come

And tell me the truth

Have pity

And tell me why

Why did you stop loving me?

I could still put up with

Your complete lack of love

Joel!

Team, blackout, please.

Encore!

Encore!

Did you look?

- Did you see? - Yes, I saw!

Team...

we've finished the tour.

It's been...

It's been a pleasure

to tour with you all. I love you very much.

We love you, Mon. Thanks for everything.

No, thank you!

Thanks, bitches.

I feel how I look.

It's so good to see you happy.

Of course, I had this kind of neurosis, I wanted everything to turn out well,

I wanted everything to be perfect.

I wanted to, like, return post pregnancy

and also to demonstrate that I could

do it again, and that I could

rediscover myself, like get back to the artist.

In the end I realized I'm not the same as before I had the baby.

I'm much more connected to...

to my feelings.

I'm much more

awake, conscious, so to speak,

of every step I take.

No

There's nothing better

Than trying

A first kiss

And more of you...

And... it's beautiful that today I'm a different woman.

In ten years, I'll be another woman.

And it's okay.

I'm a piece of a whole.

So, nothing is as important.

I've learned that too, to take life...

more lightly.

I look back and say,

"Would I take that journey again?"

"With all the effort I made to become... successful?"

And today, I think that I wouldn't do it again.

But I did it because I really needed to feel accepted.

I was desperate for people to love me.

But I'm not now.

Because I have people that I know love me

as I am.

But I didn't before, so

I was always searching for that desperate attention and that love.

I wanted to be someone important in someone's life, right?

In someone else's life.

Subtitle translation by: Ryan N. Becker