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I just ate a bag
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of cheese boodles
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without using my hands.
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Lazy Tuesday, you are
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delivering in a big way.
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Yeah, it's nice
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to finally have a day
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where nothing interesting
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happens whatsoever.
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[screaming]
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Everyone get down!
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Don't let it taste
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human flesh.
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- What is it?
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- Can we keep it?
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Kill it, kill it!
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Patience.
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[growling, screeching]
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Gotcha!
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Great. Now get it
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outta here.
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Smells like if death
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could barf.
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Grunkle Ford,
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need any help with that?
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I've read all about
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these creatures in your journal,
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- and I think I--
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- No!
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I'm sorry, Dipper.
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On the dark, weird road
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I travel,
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I'm afraid you
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cannot follow.
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Well, call me for dinner.
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Maybe next time then?
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Or not.
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Or never.
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Oh, Dipper, don't
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take it so hard.
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No, do take it hard.
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Take it hard
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and serious.
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My brother is
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a dangerous know-it-all
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and the stuff he's messing
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with is even worse.
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Do yourself a favor and stay
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away from him, you hear me?
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But Grunkle Stan,
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all summer long,
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I've wanted to know who
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the author of the journal was.
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Now the guy lives
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in our basement,
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and I can't even
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talk to him.
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Don't worry about
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what's on the basement.
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- You belong up here with me and Mabel.
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- Yeah!
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Besides, the season finale
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of Duck-tective is Friday.
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That's all the mystery
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you need this week.
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Come on, quack
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with us, Dipper.
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Quack, quack, quack.
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Yeah. Quack, quack, quack.
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[both quacking]
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[quacking continues]
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Quack, quack, quack!
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Why isn't he quacking?
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♪♪
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Dear Mom and Dad,
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we've been in Gravity Falls
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for a few months,
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and so much has happened.
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Just yesterday,
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gravity reversed itself,
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almost destroyed
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the universe,
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and totally wrecking
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the whole town.
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They say it was
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an earthquake,
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but you know what I think?
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I think I'm gonna
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have to start serving
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pineapple
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right-side up cake.
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[laughs]
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Am I right?
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Am I right?
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Let the rebuilding
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of the town begin.
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Wrecking ball,
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start wrecking things.
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[laughs]
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The coolest part
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of the summer
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was Grunkle Stan's
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twin brother
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came out of
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this portal thingy
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Now we have two grunkles
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for the price of one.
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And they are adorable
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together.
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"We love each other
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so much!"
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[kissing sounds]
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Mabel, you'll never guess
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what I found
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at the store today.
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Dogs. Dogs with hats!
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No. It's my favorite
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fantasy-talking, level-counting,
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statistics and graph-paper
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involving game of all time:
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Dungeons, Dungeons,
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and More Dungeons!
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You wanna play it
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with me?
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Well, I do like uniforms,
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and that hot elf
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looks promising.
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- How do you play?
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- The rules are simple.
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First, you roll
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a 38-sided die
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to determine the level
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of each player's
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statistical analysis
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power orb.
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These orbs relate directly
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to the amount of power quadrants
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that your tem
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has dominion over,
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which is inverse to
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the anti-quadrants
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in your quadrant satchel.
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And then
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we ride unicorns?
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- Yes!
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- [gasps]
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And no.
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First, we make a graph.
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[groans]
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This is like Homework the Game.
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Come on, Mabel. I need at least
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two people to play.
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Oh, wow,
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would you look at that?
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Two people.
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Hey, Soos, up for a little game of
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D & D & More D?
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Sorry, Dipper, I don't
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go in for
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that pen-and-paper
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kinda stuff.
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- I'm more of an FCLORP-er.
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- A what?
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FCLORP.
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Foam & Cardboard Legitimate
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Outdoor Role Playing.
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It is where a passionate
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brethren of craftsmen
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bring their dreams
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to magical reality.
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Let yon priestess go,
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Elf Mage.
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Never, Paladin
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Radmaster.
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Fireball, fireball,
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fireball.
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I'm a fortress.
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Well, thanks
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anyways, Soos.
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Say, is this that game
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that's mostly math and writing
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and isn't anything like
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the picture on the box?
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Yes, it is! You wanna
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play with me, Grunkle Stan?
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Ha! Look, kid, I prefer
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to do my dice rolling in Vegas.
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Besides, only a game
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designed by nerds
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would have "Charisma"
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as a fantasy power.
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Check this out.
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"When facing
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yon adversaries,
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shield thyself under
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an elfan buttress."
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Ha ha, say it again.
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- Buttress.
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- [both laughing]
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Hey, laugh all you want.
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You guys just aren't
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smart enough to understand it.
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Sorry, dude, but it is
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kinda nerdy.
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Well, I'm off to lay siege
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to a goblin fortress.
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To my grandma's backyard!
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[sighs]
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Oh, nice, you rolled a 17.
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- [bleats]
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- And this is sad.
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Maybe I should start obsessing
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over Wendy again.
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- [crunching]
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- Hey, give it back.
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Come on, Gompers.
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Let go.
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Oh, man, my 38-sided die!
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Dipper, stop!
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Great-uncle Ford.
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What did I say
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about coming down here?
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My work is far too dangerous
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for a single living soul
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to spend even one second--
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Wait. Is that
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a 38-sided die
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from Dungeons, Dungeons,
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And More Dungeons?
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Yeah. You know that game?
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With pen and paper,
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shield and sword...
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[both]...our quest shall be
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our sweet reward!
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[laughing]
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This is my favorite game
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in the whole multi-verse.
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I can't believe
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they still make it.
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They do, and I've been
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looking all day
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for someone
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to play with me.
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My boy, do you know
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what this means?
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We must stop everything
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I've been working on at once,
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and play!
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That's going
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to leave a mark.
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Okay, I think we've got
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everything we need to watch
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the season finale of
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Duck-tective tomorrow.
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00:07:06,090 --> 00:07:07,720
I even made mouth ramps
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00:07:07,860 --> 00:07:09,480
so we can pour food
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into our mouths
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without taking our eyes
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off the screen.
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[chewing loudly]
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And I recreated
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the main character
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out of spare
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taxidermy parts.
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Quack, quack,
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I'm the duck detective.
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Who stole my bread loaf?
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[both laughing]
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That is so messed up.
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Dipper would love that.
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Yeah, where is
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the little squirt anyway?
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I haven't seen him
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all afternoon.
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All right, you
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enter the chamber.
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Princess Unattainabelle
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beckons you.
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- But wait, it's a trap.
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- [gasps]
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An illusion cast by
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Probabilitor the Annoying.
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You know his weakness, right?
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[both] Prime statistical
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anomalies over 37
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but not exceeding 51.
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Yes! In your face,
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you cardboard wizard.
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Hmm, the old boy looks
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a bit different
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than he did back in my day.
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Yeah, they change the art
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every few years.
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Thankfully, you missed
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the period
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when the creators of the game
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tried to make it "cooler."
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Man, this game
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is boring.
300
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You dare challenge
301
00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:10,790
Probabilitizzle?
302
00:08:10,950 --> 00:08:13,050
♪ Put the cat back
303
00:08:10,950 --> 00:08:13,050
and roll the dice ♪
304
00:08:13,190 --> 00:08:16,160
♪ Don't step to the wizard
305
00:08:13,190 --> 00:08:16,160
'cause the wizard... ♪
306
00:08:16,320 --> 00:08:18,260
...updated for
307
00:08:16,320 --> 00:08:18,260
the nine double-deuce!
308
00:08:18,430 --> 00:08:20,900
- Available wherever dope games are sold.
309
00:08:18,430 --> 00:08:20,900
- Peace!
310
00:08:21,030 --> 00:08:24,020
[shudders] Must've been
311
00:08:21,030 --> 00:08:24,020
dark times, those '90s.
312
00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:27,860
Sounds like a good time
313
00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:27,860
to be stuck between dimensions.
314
00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:31,100
Great-uncle Ford,
315
00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:31,100
I've been meaning to ask you.
316
00:08:31,270 --> 00:08:33,370
Where were you before
317
00:08:31,270 --> 00:08:33,370
you came out of that machine,
318
00:08:33,540 --> 00:08:35,010
and what have you
319
00:08:33,540 --> 00:08:35,010
been doing down here?
320
00:08:35,180 --> 00:08:36,840
Are you working on something
321
00:08:35,180 --> 00:08:36,840
behind that curtain?
322
00:08:37,010 --> 00:08:39,000
Dipper, it's best if
323
00:08:37,010 --> 00:08:39,000
you and the family
324
00:08:39,180 --> 00:08:41,510
stay away from
325
00:08:39,180 --> 00:08:41,510
that subject.
326
00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:44,280
Honestly, I'm not sure any of you
327
00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:44,280
could handle the real answer.
328
00:08:44,420 --> 00:08:46,220
- But I could handle it.
329
00:08:44,420 --> 00:08:46,220
- Ah!
330
00:08:46,350 --> 00:08:48,120
But I can show you
331
00:08:46,350 --> 00:08:48,120
a little something
332
00:08:48,260 --> 00:08:49,490
I brought back with me.
333
00:08:52,490 --> 00:08:54,930
An infinity-sided die.
334
00:08:55,100 --> 00:08:57,030
[Dipper gasps]
335
00:08:57,170 --> 00:09:00,100
That's so cool...
336
00:08:57,170 --> 00:09:00,100
and impossible.
337
00:09:00,270 --> 00:09:02,930
These things are outlawed
338
00:09:00,270 --> 00:09:02,930
in 9,000 dimensions.
339
00:09:03,100 --> 00:09:06,070
Wanna know why?
340
00:09:03,100 --> 00:09:06,070
Look at those symbols.
341
00:09:06,240 --> 00:09:09,110
Infinite sides means
342
00:09:06,240 --> 00:09:09,110
infinite outcomes.
343
00:09:09,280 --> 00:09:11,580
If I rolled it,
344
00:09:09,280 --> 00:09:11,580
anything could happen.
345
00:09:11,910 --> 00:09:13,510
Our faces could
346
00:09:11,910 --> 00:09:13,510
melt into jelly.
347
00:09:13,650 --> 00:09:15,170
The world could
348
00:09:13,650 --> 00:09:15,170
turn into an egg.
349
00:09:15,350 --> 00:09:17,440
Or you could just
350
00:09:15,350 --> 00:09:17,440
roll an eight. Who knows?
351
00:09:17,620 --> 00:09:21,280
That's why I have to keep it in
352
00:09:17,620 --> 00:09:21,280
this protective cheap plastic case.
353
00:09:21,420 --> 00:09:23,190
Now, back to the game.
354
00:09:23,360 --> 00:09:25,220
You've got Probabilitor
355
00:09:23,360 --> 00:09:25,220
on the ropes.
356
00:09:29,560 --> 00:09:31,190
[Dipper] Oh, man.
357
00:09:31,330 --> 00:09:34,430
Then if I drag it here,
358
00:09:31,330 --> 00:09:34,430
and then a plus-three--
359
00:09:34,600 --> 00:09:36,500
Dipper, are you gonna
360
00:09:34,600 --> 00:09:36,500
go to sleep?
361
00:09:36,670 --> 00:09:38,570
You've been saying
362
00:09:36,670 --> 00:09:38,570
dork words for hours.
363
00:09:38,940 --> 00:09:41,500
Sorry, Mabel.
364
00:09:38,940 --> 00:09:41,500
I gotta finish this dungeon.
365
00:09:41,680 --> 00:09:43,440
It's gonna totally stump
366
00:09:41,680 --> 00:09:43,440
Great-uncle Ford tomorrow.
367
00:09:43,610 --> 00:09:45,510
I can't wait to see
368
00:09:43,610 --> 00:09:45,510
the look on his face.
369
00:09:45,680 --> 00:09:49,580
You're, uh, spending a lot of time
370
00:09:45,680 --> 00:09:49,580
with old Fordsie lately, huh?
371
00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:51,350
You have no idea.
372
00:09:51,520 --> 00:09:53,080
I knew the author
373
00:09:51,520 --> 00:09:53,080
must be cool,
374
00:09:53,250 --> 00:09:54,480
but he's better
375
00:09:53,250 --> 00:09:54,480
than I imagined.
376
00:09:54,620 --> 00:09:56,490
And he doesn't make fun
377
00:09:54,620 --> 00:09:56,490
of me all the time,
378
00:09:56,620 --> 00:09:58,320
the way you
379
00:09:56,620 --> 00:09:58,320
and Grunkle Stan do.
380
00:09:58,490 --> 00:10:00,460
Give him time.
381
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,660
Hi-oh!
382
00:10:03,030 --> 00:10:04,660
Ah, you got me.
383
00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:08,600
You got me.
384
00:10:11,240 --> 00:10:12,470
Thanks for coming over
385
00:10:11,240 --> 00:10:12,470
to watch tonight's
386
00:10:12,640 --> 00:10:14,510
Duck-tective
387
00:10:12,640 --> 00:10:14,510
finale, Grenda.
388
00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:18,240
Of course. I'm so invested
389
00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:18,240
in the life of these characters.
390
00:10:18,410 --> 00:10:20,280
Hey, hey,
391
00:10:18,410 --> 00:10:20,280
look at you.
392
00:10:20,450 --> 00:10:22,140
Someone's
393
00:10:20,450 --> 00:10:22,140
all dressed up.
394
00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:23,480
It's a big night.
395
00:10:23,650 --> 00:10:25,590
I think we all remember
396
00:10:23,650 --> 00:10:25,590
where we were
397
00:10:25,950 --> 00:10:27,510
when we learned
398
00:10:25,950 --> 00:10:27,510
Duck-tective was shot.
399
00:10:27,690 --> 00:10:29,250
[clock strikes]
400
00:10:29,420 --> 00:10:31,590
Viewing positions,
401
00:10:29,420 --> 00:10:31,590
everyone!
402
00:10:34,060 --> 00:10:37,260
Ahh! Graph paper.
403
00:10:34,060 --> 00:10:37,260
Kill it, kill it!
404
00:10:37,430 --> 00:10:40,160
Dipper, could you maybe
405
00:10:37,430 --> 00:10:40,160
move this to another room?
406
00:10:40,340 --> 00:10:41,460
No dice.
407
00:10:41,640 --> 00:10:43,160
We ran out of room
408
00:10:41,640 --> 00:10:43,160
in the basement
409
00:10:43,340 --> 00:10:44,430
and we're going for
410
00:10:43,340 --> 00:10:44,430
a world record.
411
00:10:44,610 --> 00:10:46,270
Now dice!
412
00:10:46,410 --> 00:10:47,670
Thirty-two.
413
00:10:48,040 --> 00:10:51,270
- Yes! 7,000 points damage.
414
00:10:48,040 --> 00:10:51,270
- You got me.
415
00:10:51,410 --> 00:10:53,240
Why with this?
416
00:10:53,410 --> 00:10:55,180
Wanna break
417
00:10:53,410 --> 00:10:55,180
a record, Ford?
418
00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:57,480
You already got it for
419
00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:57,480
world's nerdiest old man.
420
00:10:57,650 --> 00:11:00,250
Hey, at least I'm not all keyed
421
00:10:57,650 --> 00:11:00,250
up to watch a kids' show.
422
00:11:00,420 --> 00:11:02,320
I'll have you know
423
00:11:00,420 --> 00:11:02,320
that Duck-tective
424
00:11:02,490 --> 00:11:05,020
has a big mystery element,
425
00:11:02,490 --> 00:11:05,020
and a lot of humor
426
00:11:05,190 --> 00:11:06,530
that goes over kids' heads.
427
00:11:06,690 --> 00:11:08,220
I don't get
428
00:11:06,690 --> 00:11:08,220
a lot of it,
429
00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:10,190
but I like animals
430
00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:10,190
in human situation.
431
00:11:10,370 --> 00:11:12,300
Grunkle Stan,
432
00:11:10,370 --> 00:11:12,300
it starts in a few minutes.
433
00:11:14,170 --> 00:11:17,000
Move that
434
00:11:14,170 --> 00:11:17,000
and pay the price.
435
00:11:17,170 --> 00:11:19,540
Oh, what, 50 magical
436
00:11:17,170 --> 00:11:19,540
dwarf dollars?
437
00:11:19,670 --> 00:11:22,110
Don't mock our fantastical
438
00:11:19,670 --> 00:11:22,110
monetary system.
439
00:11:22,280 --> 00:11:24,040
I'll mock all I want.
440
00:11:22,280 --> 00:11:24,040
It's my TV room.
441
00:11:24,210 --> 00:11:25,480
It's my house!
442
00:11:24,210 --> 00:11:25,480
You...
443
00:11:25,650 --> 00:11:28,580
Listen, Stanley,
444
00:11:25,650 --> 00:11:28,580
did it ever occur to you
445
00:11:28,750 --> 00:11:31,520
that if you joined us,
446
00:11:28,750 --> 00:11:31,520
you might actually have fun?
447
00:11:31,690 --> 00:11:33,180
What? Now you listen to me.
448
00:11:33,320 --> 00:11:35,380
As long as I live,
449
00:11:33,320 --> 00:11:35,380
I will never—
450
00:11:35,560 --> 00:11:36,750
- Grunkle Stan, wait.
451
00:11:35,560 --> 00:11:36,750
- Ever.
452
00:11:37,130 --> 00:11:39,150
- Stanley!
453
00:11:37,130 --> 00:11:39,150
- Play your smarty-pants nerd game.
454
00:11:39,330 --> 00:11:40,690
No!
455
00:11:48,070 --> 00:11:52,030
Mortals of Dimension 46
456
00:11:48,070 --> 00:11:52,030
Apostrophe Backflash.
457
00:11:52,210 --> 00:11:53,640
Kneel before me and...
458
00:11:55,680 --> 00:11:58,370
Snivel.
459
00:11:58,550 --> 00:12:00,450
I am Probabilitor,
460
00:12:00,620 --> 00:12:03,350
the greatest wizard
461
00:12:00,620 --> 00:12:03,350
in all mathology,
462
00:12:03,520 --> 00:12:05,580
give or take
463
00:12:03,520 --> 00:12:05,580
an error of 0.4.
464
00:12:05,750 --> 00:12:07,280
Is this normal?
465
00:12:07,460 --> 00:12:10,020
Have you come to send us
466
00:12:07,460 --> 00:12:10,020
on the quest of a lifetime,
467
00:12:10,190 --> 00:12:11,490
because we're the smartest
468
00:12:10,190 --> 00:12:11,490
players you've ever met?
469
00:12:11,660 --> 00:12:14,720
You are the smartest
470
00:12:11,660 --> 00:12:14,720
players I've ever met.
471
00:12:15,100 --> 00:12:16,590
That's why I'm going
472
00:12:15,100 --> 00:12:16,590
to eat your brains,
473
00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:18,160
to gain your intelligence.
474
00:12:18,300 --> 00:12:19,390
It's what I do.
475
00:12:19,570 --> 00:12:22,040
- It's his thing.
476
00:12:19,570 --> 00:12:22,040
- What?!
477
00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:24,260
Seize them!
478
00:12:24,440 --> 00:12:27,100
Your math is no match
479
00:12:24,440 --> 00:12:27,100
for my gun, you idiot.
480
00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:28,500
Math ray!
481
00:12:30,810 --> 00:12:32,800
I'm not here to play games.
482
00:12:34,780 --> 00:12:38,180
Now to the forest
483
00:12:34,780 --> 00:12:38,180
for the ultimate game.
484
00:12:42,460 --> 00:12:45,520
So the room's
485
00:12:42,460 --> 00:12:45,520
free now.
486
00:12:45,660 --> 00:12:47,460
- Who wants to watch Duck-tective?
487
00:12:45,660 --> 00:12:47,460
- [squeaks]
488
00:12:48,830 --> 00:12:51,800
Nobody?
489
00:12:48,830 --> 00:12:51,800
More couch for Grenda.
490
00:12:53,740 --> 00:12:55,640
Oh, no. That crazy wizard
491
00:12:53,740 --> 00:12:55,640
is gonna eat
492
00:12:55,800 --> 00:12:58,830
our brother's brain.
493
00:12:55,800 --> 00:12:58,830
We have to stop him.
494
00:12:59,210 --> 00:13:01,510
Maybe let him get a couple
495
00:12:59,210 --> 00:13:01,510
of bites in Ford's brain first.
496
00:13:01,680 --> 00:13:03,580
Even things out,
497
00:13:01,680 --> 00:13:03,580
smartness-wise.
498
00:13:03,750 --> 00:13:06,410
- Grunkle Stan!
499
00:13:03,750 --> 00:13:06,410
- All right, all right.
500
00:13:06,580 --> 00:13:07,810
I guess if we have
501
00:13:06,580 --> 00:13:07,810
no other choice,
502
00:13:08,150 --> 00:13:09,850
we'll go on a...
503
00:13:08,150 --> 00:13:09,850
[sighs]
504
00:13:10,220 --> 00:13:11,650
epic wizard quest.
505
00:13:11,820 --> 00:13:14,620
- [cheering]
506
00:13:11,820 --> 00:13:14,620
- Everyone grab a weapon.
507
00:13:18,630 --> 00:13:19,790
Nice.
508
00:13:22,500 --> 00:13:24,230
We're coming
509
00:13:22,500 --> 00:13:24,230
for you, Dipper.
510
00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:25,530
And Great-uncle Ford.
511
00:13:25,670 --> 00:13:27,100
And possibly
512
00:13:25,670 --> 00:13:27,100
that hot elf,
513
00:13:27,270 --> 00:13:28,790
if he's got anything
514
00:13:27,270 --> 00:13:28,790
to do with this.
515
00:13:33,340 --> 00:13:34,670
[laughing]
516
00:13:35,840 --> 00:13:37,540
With each brain
517
00:13:35,840 --> 00:13:37,540
I eat,
518
00:13:37,710 --> 00:13:40,480
I shall increase
519
00:13:37,710 --> 00:13:40,480
my enchant-elligence.
520
00:13:40,650 --> 00:13:41,840
If my hands were free,
521
00:13:42,220 --> 00:13:44,210
I'd break every part
522
00:13:42,220 --> 00:13:44,210
of your face.
523
00:13:44,390 --> 00:13:45,650
The time has come.
524
00:13:45,820 --> 00:13:48,520
Hot elf, ready
525
00:13:45,820 --> 00:13:48,520
the brain-cooking pot.
526
00:13:48,690 --> 00:13:51,180
Uh, yes, Probabilitor.
527
00:14:02,740 --> 00:14:04,600
We must be getting close.
528
00:14:04,740 --> 00:14:06,440
These fairy bites
529
00:14:04,740 --> 00:14:06,440
are getting more frequent.
530
00:14:06,610 --> 00:14:08,670
Hey, look, listen.
531
00:14:10,410 --> 00:14:13,180
Halt! You interlopers
532
00:14:10,410 --> 00:14:13,180
are trespassing
533
00:14:13,350 --> 00:14:15,610
on the ancient forest
534
00:14:13,350 --> 00:14:15,610
of Probabilitor the wizard.
535
00:14:15,780 --> 00:14:17,310
If ye wish to pass,
536
00:14:17,450 --> 00:14:20,650
first ye must complete
537
00:14:17,450 --> 00:14:20,650
seven unworldly quests,
538
00:14:20,820 --> 00:14:23,720
each more difficult
539
00:14:20,820 --> 00:14:23,720
than the last.
540
00:14:25,430 --> 00:14:27,550
Is he... dead?
541
00:14:27,730 --> 00:14:30,220
He's magic, sweetie.
542
00:14:27,730 --> 00:14:30,220
I'm sure he's fine.
543
00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:31,890
There's no cops
544
00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:31,890
in the forest.
545
00:14:32,230 --> 00:14:34,630
We take this
546
00:14:32,230 --> 00:14:34,630
to our graves.
547
00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:36,600
[laughing]
548
00:14:36,770 --> 00:14:38,570
- What do we do, what do we do?
549
00:14:36,770 --> 00:14:38,570
- Stop thinking, Dipper.
550
00:14:38,740 --> 00:14:40,570
The more wrinkled
551
00:14:38,740 --> 00:14:40,570
your brain gets,
552
00:14:40,740 --> 00:14:42,180
the more he'll
553
00:14:40,740 --> 00:14:42,180
wanna eat it.
554
00:14:42,340 --> 00:14:44,640
And now, a little
555
00:14:42,340 --> 00:14:44,640
math problem.
556
00:14:44,780 --> 00:14:47,650
When I subtract
557
00:14:44,780 --> 00:14:47,650
your brain from your skull,
558
00:14:47,820 --> 00:14:51,550
add salt and divide your family,
559
00:14:47,820 --> 00:14:51,550
what's the remainder?
560
00:14:51,720 --> 00:14:53,480
[Mabel] Your butt!
561
00:14:53,650 --> 00:14:56,650
What? My butt isn't part of
562
00:14:53,650 --> 00:14:56,650
this particular equation.
563
00:14:56,820 --> 00:14:58,420
[all roaring]
564
00:14:58,590 --> 00:15:00,890
Drat! How did you make it
565
00:14:58,590 --> 00:15:00,890
past my one guard?
566
00:15:01,260 --> 00:15:02,530
Very well.
567
00:15:02,700 --> 00:15:06,530
There's only one way
568
00:15:02,700 --> 00:15:06,530
your family can save you.
569
00:15:06,700 --> 00:15:09,230
You must defeat me
570
00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:11,900
in Dungeons, Dungeons,
571
00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:11,900
And More Dungeons,
572
00:15:12,240 --> 00:15:14,440
real life edition!
573
00:15:15,510 --> 00:15:17,570
[maniacal laughter]
574
00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:19,680
What? Oh, come on.
575
00:15:19,810 --> 00:15:22,580
I choose my characters
576
00:15:19,810 --> 00:15:22,580
versus...
577
00:15:22,750 --> 00:15:24,380
[gasping]
578
00:15:24,550 --> 00:15:26,320
Yours.
579
00:15:26,490 --> 00:15:28,350
Oh, my ears.
580
00:15:28,520 --> 00:15:29,960
They're so pointy.
581
00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:31,660
There better be
582
00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:31,660
something protective
583
00:15:31,830 --> 00:15:34,350
under this tunic.
584
00:15:31,830 --> 00:15:34,350
Oh, no, there isn't.
585
00:15:34,530 --> 00:15:36,360
Seriously?
586
00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:38,360
Can't we just, like,
587
00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:38,360
arm wrestle or something?
588
00:15:38,500 --> 00:15:40,470
Come on, this game
589
00:15:38,500 --> 00:15:40,470
is a lot of fun.
590
00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:42,570
I had my mom
591
00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:42,570
pack me a lunch.
592
00:15:42,740 --> 00:15:45,330
Ew, apple slices?
593
00:15:42,740 --> 00:15:45,330
I'll eat you last.
594
00:15:45,510 --> 00:15:48,910
Just make with
595
00:15:45,510 --> 00:15:48,910
the rules, ugly.
596
00:15:49,280 --> 00:15:50,970
The game is
597
00:15:49,280 --> 00:15:50,970
a battle royale.
598
00:15:51,310 --> 00:15:52,540
We help our characters
599
00:15:51,310 --> 00:15:52,540
by casting spells
600
00:15:52,710 --> 00:15:54,510
determined by
601
00:15:52,710 --> 00:15:54,510
rolls of the dice.
602
00:15:54,680 --> 00:15:57,680
If you win, I go
603
00:15:54,680 --> 00:15:57,680
back to my own dimension.
604
00:15:57,850 --> 00:16:01,380
But if I win,
605
00:15:57,850 --> 00:16:01,380
I eat their brains.
606
00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:02,650
Hey, I'm not sure
607
00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:02,650
this is such a good—
608
00:16:02,790 --> 00:16:04,590
- Deal!
609
00:16:02,790 --> 00:16:04,590
- Oh, boy.
610
00:16:04,760 --> 00:16:07,660
Let the game begin!
611
00:16:10,870 --> 00:16:11,860
Attack!
612
00:16:16,670 --> 00:16:18,470
What do we do?
613
00:16:16,670 --> 00:16:18,470
What are our moves?
614
00:16:18,610 --> 00:16:20,600
There are no moves.
615
00:16:18,610 --> 00:16:20,600
You make them up.
616
00:16:20,780 --> 00:16:21,870
What? Really?
617
00:16:22,040 --> 00:16:23,910
Yes. I tried to tell you.
618
00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:27,570
This game involves math,
619
00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:27,570
but also risk and imagination.
620
00:16:27,750 --> 00:16:29,810
- Risk!
621
00:16:27,750 --> 00:16:29,810
- Imagination?!
622
00:16:29,980 --> 00:16:32,890
Grunkle Stan, make something up.
623
00:16:29,980 --> 00:16:32,890
It's just like lying.
624
00:16:34,390 --> 00:16:35,790
I cast... uh...
625
00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:36,790
[groans]
626
00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:39,360
Shield of shielding.
627
00:16:42,530 --> 00:16:43,550
Ha! We're doin' it.
628
00:16:43,730 --> 00:16:46,720
Shield of shielding
629
00:16:43,730 --> 00:16:46,720
reversal spell.
630
00:16:49,700 --> 00:16:51,900
I cast giggle time
631
00:16:49,700 --> 00:16:51,900
bouncy boots.
632
00:16:55,710 --> 00:16:57,580
Hot flame-y sword.
633
00:16:57,750 --> 00:17:00,010
Super-hot flame-y sword!
634
00:17:04,790 --> 00:17:05,980
No!
635
00:17:06,350 --> 00:17:08,620
Drat you.
636
00:17:06,350 --> 00:17:08,620
You'll never outrun my...
637
00:17:08,790 --> 00:17:13,560
Ogre-nado. It is what
638
00:17:08,790 --> 00:17:13,560
it sounds like.
639
00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:20,090
I cast Centaur-taur! Yah!
640
00:17:25,840 --> 00:17:29,070
Mabel, I am so confused
641
00:17:25,840 --> 00:17:29,070
and so proud right now.
642
00:17:33,750 --> 00:17:35,610
[cheering]
643
00:17:51,670 --> 00:17:53,000
Ha ha ha, yes!
644
00:17:53,130 --> 00:17:55,690
I was saving
645
00:17:53,130 --> 00:17:55,690
the worst for last.
646
00:17:55,870 --> 00:17:57,100
Oh, no.
647
00:17:57,470 --> 00:17:58,630
The impossi-beast.
648
00:17:58,810 --> 00:18:00,670
Hey, I thought
649
00:17:58,810 --> 00:18:00,670
they banned this character.
650
00:18:00,840 --> 00:18:02,870
Think again. I'm playing
651
00:18:00,840 --> 00:18:02,870
the controversial
652
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:05,810
1991-1992 edition.
653
00:18:07,010 --> 00:18:08,570
I'll think of some weapons.
654
00:18:08,750 --> 00:18:10,380
You don't understand.
655
00:18:10,550 --> 00:18:11,710
This is the most powerful
656
00:18:10,550 --> 00:18:11,710
monster in the game.
657
00:18:11,890 --> 00:18:14,690
He can only be defeated
658
00:18:11,890 --> 00:18:14,690
by rolling a perfect 38.
659
00:18:14,860 --> 00:18:15,790
But the odds of that are--
660
00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:18,690
Hey, long odds
661
00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:18,690
are what you want
662
00:18:18,860 --> 00:18:20,490
when you're
663
00:18:18,860 --> 00:18:20,490
a world-class gambler.
664
00:18:20,630 --> 00:18:22,760
All right, Stan,
665
00:18:20,630 --> 00:18:22,760
you can do this.
666
00:18:22,930 --> 00:18:24,730
Papa needs
667
00:18:22,930 --> 00:18:24,730
a new pair of...
668
00:18:24,900 --> 00:18:26,560
twins!
669
00:18:34,540 --> 00:18:35,910
No!!
670
00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:37,770
Sorry, nerd wizard.
671
00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:41,580
All of your smarts
672
00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:41,580
are no match for dumb luck.
673
00:18:41,750 --> 00:18:43,510
I cast Death Muffins!
674
00:18:50,730 --> 00:18:52,130
[both] Yes!
675
00:18:53,760 --> 00:18:54,960
Ha ha ha!
676
00:18:55,130 --> 00:18:56,960
The game is, like, over.
677
00:18:57,130 --> 00:18:58,790
Excelsi-whatever.
678
00:18:58,970 --> 00:19:01,800
No! I'm returning to
679
00:18:58,970 --> 00:19:01,800
my own realm.
680
00:19:01,970 --> 00:19:04,630
I'm turning into
681
00:19:01,970 --> 00:19:04,630
pure math.
682
00:19:04,810 --> 00:19:08,440
What are the odds?!
683
00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:12,170
Grunkle Stan,
684
00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:12,170
that was amazing.
685
00:19:12,550 --> 00:19:13,840
How did you know
686
00:19:12,550 --> 00:19:13,840
that you would win?
687
00:19:14,020 --> 00:19:16,450
Hey, a gambler never reveals
688
00:19:14,020 --> 00:19:16,450
his secrets.
689
00:19:18,490 --> 00:19:21,680
Man, that was fun
690
00:19:18,490 --> 00:19:21,680
for ages eight to 80.
691
00:19:21,860 --> 00:19:24,550
Or a million or however
692
00:19:21,860 --> 00:19:24,550
old you guys are.
693
00:19:24,730 --> 00:19:27,960
You know, I'm sorry for
694
00:19:24,730 --> 00:19:27,960
making fun of your game, kiddo.
695
00:19:28,130 --> 00:19:30,000
Sure, it might be
696
00:19:28,130 --> 00:19:30,000
too nerdy for me,
697
00:19:30,160 --> 00:19:31,860
but it's just the right
698
00:19:30,160 --> 00:19:31,860
amount of nerdy
699
00:19:32,030 --> 00:19:33,660
for you and my brother.
700
00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:35,500
And if you two
701
00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:35,500
wanna hang out sometimes,
702
00:19:35,670 --> 00:19:36,690
I won't get in your way.
703
00:19:36,840 --> 00:19:38,140
Actually, after all that,
704
00:19:38,510 --> 00:19:40,100
I could use
705
00:19:38,510 --> 00:19:40,100
a little mindless fun.
706
00:19:40,270 --> 00:19:43,640
Guys, we can watch the second
707
00:19:40,270 --> 00:19:43,640
showing of Duck-tective.
708
00:19:43,810 --> 00:19:45,250
- It's not too late.
709
00:19:43,810 --> 00:19:45,250
- [squeaks]
710
00:19:52,620 --> 00:19:54,850
I just don't understand
711
00:19:52,620 --> 00:19:54,850
who shot you.
712
00:19:55,020 --> 00:19:57,490
The only person clever enough
713
00:19:55,020 --> 00:19:57,490
to defeat Duck-tective
714
00:19:57,660 --> 00:19:59,750
is... [gasps]
715
00:19:57,660 --> 00:19:59,750
Duck-tective.
716
00:20:09,300 --> 00:20:11,700
He had a twin brother
717
00:20:09,300 --> 00:20:11,700
all along?
718
00:20:11,870 --> 00:20:14,000
That's the big twist
719
00:20:11,870 --> 00:20:14,000
we were waiting for?
720
00:20:14,180 --> 00:20:15,170
What a rip-off.
721
00:20:15,540 --> 00:20:16,980
I predicted that,
722
00:20:15,540 --> 00:20:16,980
like, a year ago.
723
00:20:21,950 --> 00:20:23,980
This will be here
724
00:20:21,950 --> 00:20:23,980
if you ever need it.
725
00:20:24,150 --> 00:20:27,640
Really? Even though I got us into
726
00:20:24,150 --> 00:20:27,640
the whole game-playing mess?
727
00:20:27,820 --> 00:20:29,720
Ah, we both got
728
00:20:27,820 --> 00:20:29,720
carried away.
729
00:20:29,890 --> 00:20:33,550
I guess we'd both gone for
730
00:20:29,890 --> 00:20:33,550
a while without a friend.
731
00:20:33,730 --> 00:20:35,960
Dipper, can I
732
00:20:33,730 --> 00:20:35,960
tell you something?
733
00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:38,290
You asked me earlier
734
00:20:38,670 --> 00:20:40,070
what I was working on.
735
00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:41,690
Well...
736
00:20:41,870 --> 00:20:44,000
I dismantled
737
00:20:41,870 --> 00:20:44,000
the portal.
738
00:20:44,140 --> 00:20:46,270
An inter-dimensional
739
00:20:44,140 --> 00:20:46,270
gateway is too dangerous
740
00:20:46,640 --> 00:20:47,870
for the world
741
00:20:46,640 --> 00:20:47,870
it feeds into.
742
00:20:48,010 --> 00:20:50,740
That's why I was
743
00:20:48,010 --> 00:20:50,740
mad at Stan for using it.
744
00:20:50,910 --> 00:20:52,640
He saved me,
745
00:20:50,910 --> 00:20:52,640
but as I feared,
746
00:20:52,810 --> 00:20:55,840
the instability
747
00:20:52,810 --> 00:20:55,840
of the machine created this.
748
00:20:56,020 --> 00:20:57,710
An inter-dimensional rift.
749
00:20:57,850 --> 00:20:59,290
I've contained it for now,
750
00:20:59,650 --> 00:21:01,210
but it's
751
00:20:59,650 --> 00:21:01,210
incredibly dangerous.
752
00:21:01,590 --> 00:21:03,290
Dipper, I don't want you
753
00:21:01,590 --> 00:21:03,290
to tell anyone about this.
754
00:21:03,660 --> 00:21:05,180
Not Stan, not even
755
00:21:03,660 --> 00:21:05,180
your sister.
756
00:21:05,360 --> 00:21:08,560
- Do you understand?
757
00:21:05,360 --> 00:21:08,560
- Oh, of course.
758
00:21:08,730 --> 00:21:11,720
In my time, I've made
759
00:21:08,730 --> 00:21:11,720
many powerful enemies.
760
00:21:11,900 --> 00:21:14,270
But I trust you
761
00:21:11,900 --> 00:21:14,270
with this secret.
762
00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:16,600
Now get yourself
763
00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:16,600
to bed.
764
00:21:16,770 --> 00:21:18,900
I have much research
765
00:21:16,770 --> 00:21:18,900
to do.
766
00:21:19,070 --> 00:21:20,740
Good night,
767
00:21:19,070 --> 00:21:20,740
Great-uncle Ford.
768
00:21:20,910 --> 00:21:22,210
Good night, Dipper.
769
00:21:35,690 --> 00:21:37,890
Guys, do you ever think
770
00:21:35,690 --> 00:21:37,890
maybe we're doin' this
771
00:21:38,060 --> 00:21:39,960
'cause our lives
772
00:21:38,060 --> 00:21:39,960
aren't special enough?
773
00:21:40,130 --> 00:21:42,220
That we use fantasy as
774
00:21:40,130 --> 00:21:42,220
an escape to avoid
775
00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:43,660
the self-improvement
776
00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:43,660
we all need?
777
00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:44,960
That maybe we should
778
00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:44,960
just go out
779
00:21:45,130 --> 00:21:46,600
and grow with people?
780
00:21:46,730 --> 00:21:49,600
Fortresses can't
781
00:21:46,730 --> 00:21:49,600
speak.
782
00:21:49,770 --> 00:21:51,800
I'm a fortress.
783
00:21:54,210 --> 00:21:56,110
Does anyone
784
00:21:54,210 --> 00:21:56,110
wanna rescue him?
785
00:21:56,280 --> 00:21:58,750
- Ah, I'm tired.
786
00:21:56,280 --> 00:21:58,750
- I'm good.
787
00:21:58,910 --> 00:22:00,380
Long day.
788
00:22:00,750 --> 00:22:02,150
♪ Don't step to the wizard ♪
789
00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:03,720
♪ 'cause the wizard
790
00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:03,720
don't play nice ♪
42761
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