Original subtitles

Love is like toothpaste...

Toothpaste?

Love... is like toothpaste?

Ever watched a couple brushing their teeth together?

It's more intimate than sex!

Think about it.

Toothpaste in their mouths,

foam dripping everywhere...

no filters.

Like this?

What they're really saying is that, 'I'm not going anywhere.'

Get lost!

I look like a clown.

Don't worry. I'm not going anywhere either.

Love and toothpaste...

maybe...

When the tube is new we handle it with care...

we squeeze gently from the bottom.

We even fold the bottom so the shape isn't ruined.

As time goes by...

we just end up pressing and squeezing everywhere.

Wherever we spot a bit of toothpaste, we go for it.

The poor tube stays half full, bent and squeezed...

We could just throw the damn thing out.

Go buy a new one...

But we don't!

What if there's some left?

And there always is.

If we manage to find the leftover toothpaste...

There's some paste here, yes...

There it is. There is something there.

Give me your hands, photographer!

So you're marrying her?

Just because she's pregnant?

You're the one who said

that it's time to move on.

Since when did you start listening to me?

Why are you throwing the keys?

This is not my home anymore.

This will always be your home, Rosie.

Then why did you take down my curtains?

Why did you change the locks?

I never wanted to leave you, Rosie.

That's why I'm the one who should leave.

I said...

that's why I'm the one who should leave, Fawad.

What the heck, Anirudh!

Oh my god!

I'm trying my best, Nora.

I'm not an actor!

Also, I got totally drenched in the rain...

your beloved Salman Khan also catches a cold now and then, doesn't he?

Ever seen Salman Khan sneeze?

Don't touch me!

It's just a cold.

You can't touch me because I'm a ghost.

You can't touch a ghost.

Don't you get it?

I see...

I see now, you're a ghost.

You haven't even read the script!

Why am I wasting my time with you?

I've told you so many times that Rosie is dead.

She's just a ghost...

...a soul flowing through the house.

Why would a ghost need keys?

She could just float right in.

Come on, why are you getting angry?

You know how important this audition is for me.

This could be my big break.

I'm sorry.

Really sorry.

Fine.

Badminton, wine stoppers, notice boards...

that's all people think of when we say 'cork'.

It's the most misunderstood product.

Do you know, half the life jackets in the world contain cork.

Also, if you spread a layer of just 5mm cork between the floors of a building,

you won't hear anything from above and below.

Only 5mm cock, yes?

Just 5mm cock? It's enough?

It's how you use it, Nobu San.

If the EMI works out and we can figure out the down payment...

What?

Sorry, I can't hear you.

We can think about it - can't we, Vik?

We're definitely not going back to your New York apartment anytime soon.

Even that apartment is on rent, Kavs.

Buying a home is a serious commitment.

Why do you want to stay in Bombay all your life?

It's a whole world out there.

Okay.

Just imagine...

we'll put up black and white photos of your favourite things...

Me.

That famous staircase photo from your book.

Your couch over there and

what if we paint the walls blue?

A blue wall?

What are we? Twelve?

It will complement the color of the sea, Vik.

This sea is grey, Kavs.

Gutter-like grey!

It's still the sea!

And now Bombay is your home too.

Gutter-like grey!

The moisture ruins electric appliances.

People would die for this view

and you're worried about your blender?

I really like this apartment.

You are a house....

What?

You mean I'm a house?

I meant,

wherever you are, is home.

Get lost, rascal!

I love it when you swear in Tamil.

Sameer, the broker, will be back in five minutes.

You know what I'm thinking?

About tea?

[speaking in Tamil]

Sorry, I got stuck at work.

Happy anniversary, Rosie darling.

I didn't get the role.

What do you mean?

They just said 'no' right away? No callbacks?

There won't be any callback.

I fell off that stupid chair in the middle of the audition!

It was so bloody humiliating.

Why does a ghost need a chair anyway?

Sorry...

I hope you didn't get hurt.

Of course I got hurt.

Where? Show me.

The girl from the silly Paan Masala ad...

that's all I'll ever be.

Everyone loves that commercial.

It's my favorite.

Dhishoom Paan Masala... A Storm is Coming.

Is it better?

Listen, can we cancel the dinner reservation?

Please?

I was about to say the same.

We'll buy some eggplants on the way home.

And I'll make my grandmother's special

'Eggplant á la poppy seeds' for you

Eggplant for our anniversary dinner?

You should try it once.

Easy...

Is it hurting very bad?

I hope there's no fracture.

Should we get an X-RAY?

Actually, I hurt my hand.

Not my foot.

You're such a fraud!

♪ What came to me in this dream ♪

-♪ Can I tell you? ♪ -Happy anniversary, Mr. Ani Banerjee.

♪ Where are you? ♪

♪ I've brought all my love ♪

♪ To your doorstep ♪

♪ Where are you? ♪

♪ Don't make me wait Come to me just this once ♪

♪ Come and fall into my arms ♪

Where did you find this?

It was in your email.

From some college alumni group.

It's such a beautiful song.

I love it.

You sang so well.

♪ Where are you? ♪

It's all in the past, from a different era.

By the way, what were you doing in my inbox?

Why?

Are you hiding something from me?

Let's go find eggplants.

Forgot to buy milk again.

Hi.

Hey.

Penguins are among the 3% of the rare animal species that are monogamous

When a penguin finds its mate, they stay together forever

and never look at another member of the opposite sex.

Humans are not part of that little club.

I'm vegan, so no milk.

Like the other 97% of species, humans are not monogamous...

Not even milk?

We just pretend that we are, but we wish we were penguins.

Animal-based products.

...they stay together forever.

The male and female share everyday duties.

In fact, while waiting for their partner to return...

But your face wash has milk.

...even years after they mate, penguin couples dance excitedly.

Wait a minute.

I'll buy some small garbage bags.

Couldn't hit the jackpot last night too?

Suction.

And he didn't even realize?

How would he?

You've been married for five years, Lata.

So?

He's only bothered about his own jackpot,

he gets lucky every night.

That's it.

I pretend a bit.

How will he know if you don't tell him?

You know, 90% of Indian women have never had an org--

er... have never hit the jackpot.

This is why!

Because we never tell the men what we want.

I can't live like that!

What's the point of living a lie?

A happier marriage.

I'd rather not buy a ticket than win a false jackpot.

Done, Rama Aunty.

Aren't there people in Cuba?

Come with me.

We'll go look for people together.

Raise your chin.

There's no internet in Cuba.

No one will be able to find us.

We'll be like lost lovers in Cuba!

Even Cuba has internet now, madam.

You won't even come to Gurgaon with me.

Not Gurgaon, that's near Delhi.

You mean Goregaon.

Go-re-gaon!

Will you come to Go-re-gaon with me?

I'll just take this.

Yes?

Anti-allergens are in the bedside drawer.

120mg is fine.

Take 180mg then.

It won't kill you, Ani.

Bye.

Feeling insecure of all this medicine talk?

You know this is all we ever talk about now.

Allergy medicine, garbage bags,

AC temperature...

Please say something.

Why are we looking at houses

if you're still discussing the air-conditioning with him?

He just needed his medicines.

He forgets everything.

What do you want me to do, Kavs?

I gave up my whole life in New York just to be near you.

Now it's nearly two years and we're still--

I just don't know how to tell him.

We've spent half our lives together.

You know you have to tell him sometime--

I know.

I have an appointment with the lawyer tomorrow.

Won't cancel it this time.

What will you tell Mum, Dada?

I can't imagine our lives without Kavu.

Don't complicate things further, Aditi.

I just don't get you.

You had it all and...

still you had to go look for someone else?

Come on, it has nothing to do with Nora.

Sharing a bedroom is not marriage!

Then just get it over with.

Why are you wasting each other's time?

She's still young, she can meet someone new,

have a family, kids.

You know she doesn't want kids.

Should I talk to her?

It will break her heart.

It's already broken, Dada.

She just doesn't know it yet.

Was it a love marriage?

Yes.

We eloped and got married.

A court marriage.

The first few years...

Ani and I were happily married.

Now, we're just married!

Why do you want a divorce?

You can be honest with me, Kavya.

Everything is confidential.

I'm on your side. Okay?

Yeah.

Has he done anything?

I mean, any form of abuse?

Abuse?

Never!

Any affairs?

Cheating?

Ani is not like that.

Kids?

No, I didn't want kids.

I even had an abortion.

Is there someone else in your life?

Whatever happened between us, Kavya...

She's your wife, Anirudh.

Not a one-night stand.

Show some respect!

Kavya...

How much?

Two hundred rupees.

Try again.

Don't need the flowers. I will do it... hang on.

Kavya, thank you.

Thank you for the last twelve years.

Kavya, thank you.

Thank you for the last fifteen years.

We dated for three years before we got married.

Yeah, whatever. Go on.

It's not your fault, Kavya.

It is my fault.

There's someone... by mistake,

I've fallen in love with.

So I'm a mistake?

I didn't mean that.

It's just...

Why didn't you meet me last night?

Where were you?

In office.

I got done with work at 11 p.m. I was very tired.

I dropped Mapuskar, went home and slept.

With her?

Not with her, beside her.

Come on, married people don't have sex.

This is crazy, Nora.

Don't call me crazy.

My life wasn't this messed up until I met you.

Calling someone ten times a day...

that's not me.

In the last two years, I've become a crazy wreck thanks to you.

You did this to me.

Wrong time of the month?

A woman is not defined by her time of the month, Anirudh.

That's so bloody sexist!

No, I didn't mean that.

I'm seven days late. I think...

I think I'm pregnant.

Shit!

That's all you have to say?

Must be mine, right?

Get out of the car.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean--

Get out of the car!

Nora, seriously? Here?

Go!

Grow a spine, Anirudh.

Tell her.

Otherwise it's over between us.

It's not goodbye.

It's thank you.

Anirudh doesn't know, I'll tell him when I see him.

Don't know what?

Okay, bye. He's here.

Grandpa passed away

in his sleep this afternoon.

Grandpa?

Grandpa has been around since time immemorial.

How old was he?

God knows.

On his birthday last year,

we spent more on candles than on the cake.

Why flowers?

Just...

I'm taking the morning flight tomorrow,

the cremation is in the evening.

Karthik will also reach by then.

Karthik is coming down from LA?

He was Grandpa's favorite.

Are you okay?

I don't know.

I've informed the cook, she will come in early from tomorrow.

You just tell her what to cook.

Your phone is ringing.

It's okay.

I'll come with you... to Ooty.

Why?

At a time like this, we need to be together as a family.

That's exactly what I'm dreading.

My entire family.

Everybody. Together.

I'll come along.

But... why?

You're not a favorite there.

Neither are you.

Her grandfather... they were very close.

Poor thing was crying so much.

Ani... have you seen my charger?

This isn't the right time to tell her, Nora.

There's been a death in the family.

Pulli!

Welcome!

Kavu Paapa, Mapillay (son-in-law) sir...

All well?

All okay.

Looking superb.

Has Pulli sent his son to receive us?

Come come!

Twelve years passed by in a flash, isn't it?

You've put on some weight, Mapillay sir.

But you still look like a movie star.

You had a big fancy wedding in Bombay...

but didn't invite Pulli.

Because, the Ganeshans would've disowned you too, like us.

Nobody even showed Pulli a photo.

Sir, did you wear one of those weird Bengali hats?

Yes. Look ahead, now.

♪ My careless heart has lost its way ♪

♪ And you... ♪

♪ You sit there cold, you sit there selfish ♪

Mapillay sir, why weren't you here for Shanthi's wedding?

Kaavya didn't have fun without you.

Always on her phone.

-♪ In these quiet dangling moments ♪ -Missing you too much.

♪ Our silences shout out loud ♪

♪ Remember my old address? ♪

♪ I am still right there, what about you? ♪

♪ If you can't come in ♪

♪ Then meet me as you go ♪

♪ We'll sing a song of empty words ♪

♪ And sing it to me ♪

Kavya, your lamp post!

Stop the car.

♪ I don't know what I'm looking for ♪

♪ But the spaces between us keep growing ♪

It's still bent...

From when you crashed your scooter into it.

Hey, I just grazed it a bit.

This stupid lamp post was always bent.

The lamp-post was straight, Kavya.

You two abandoned the scooter and fled.

It was such a disaster!

Everyone blasted Pulli!

What do you eat Pulli? You remember everything.

Remember- ♪ All that I have dreamt of♪

♪ I want to tell you ♪

Kavya's song! - ♪ In these quiet dangling moments ♪

-♪ Our silences shout out loud ♪ -Pulli is so happy to see both of you together.

So many years...

you'd give me the slip after your classes...

Look ahead, Pulli.

♪ ...where are you? ♪

...what audacity.

The boy has come here for the first time.

This is the boy that Kavya ran away with...

Ma...

Kavya.

Kavya.

Dad.

Thanks for coming.

Good of you to come.

Of course.

I'm sorry for your loss, Uncle.

I mean... Appa.

Uncle Appa...

Appa Uncle?

Appam (pancakes)!

How is Grandpa?

Still dead.

Right.

He was a good man.

Even in his death, he gave us no trouble.

No trouble at all.

Ani, do you want to freshen up and change?

Come.

You didn't wear a bindi?

(Indistinct)

Can I see Grandpa?

What news of Karthik?

He is stuck in Frankfurt.

His connecting flight is delayed.

However long it takes, we'll have to wait for him.

It's what Grandpa would have wanted.

Come here, Kavya.

Have you cried yet?

I really haven't had a moment alone, Aunt Sudha.

The whole family has been crying nonstop.

You are here.

So good of you to come.

His spirit is still hovering....

waiting to land.

This is the happiest I've seen Grandpa look.

It's good to cry.

It will come.

When it happens, it's going to last for days.

And you too must cry

and ask for his forgiveness

for running away with his grand-daughter.

Aunt Sudha, Aunt Meera, Aunt Lalitha...

Aunt Sudha, Aunt Meera, Aunt Lalitha...

Alone?

I thought you were a singer or something.

Didn't you have a band?

Everyone has a band in college.

Coolimuttam Ramakrishnan Surya.

Uncle Ramakrishnan's son.

You can call me C.R. Surya.

Okay, C.R. Surya.

Where is the washroom?

What are you doing?

I thought we are going to...

What?

Get out.

Leave.

You hid Kavya in that shady Elephanta Hotel?

Then smuggled her out on a stolen motorcycle

and bought tickets to Bombay?

Who told you all this?

You're cool, man.

You stole a bike.

I didn't steal it! And it was a scooter, not a bike.

How do you go from a man like that to somebody who's into--

Cork!

It's cork. With an R!

R for rascal.

Keep quiet for some time.

Potty?

Did you just relieve yourself in Grandpa's toilet?

I'm sorry for your loss, Appam (pancakes)!

Really?

They still look at us the same way.

What could they be discussing?

That... Look at this Bengali's guts,

he's back with stolen goods.

Me? A stolen good?

If I'd known Anirudh would become so handsome after ten years,

I'd have never called him a cheap musician.

Oh, he must look so good naked.

He would look so good on my hammock.

He'd recite Tagore's poems

while lying on the sunset orange cushions.

Sure.

All my aunts fantasize about you all day.

On sunset orange cushions.

(speaks in Tamil)

What?

Look at your shameless daughter laugh.

Is this a funeral or a wedding?

What do you mean by 'your daughter'?

It's all your fault, Savitri.

If you hadn't been wearing that sexy lingerie that night,

it wouldn't have come to this.

I was only wearing it. Who took it off?

By the way, if you hadn't run away with me...

your photo would've been up here as well.

And I'd get my share of this massive house too.

This relic is still here?

Does it even work now?

Who knows.

[Old film song playing]

Softly. They're sleeping.

I still remember all the moves!

Remember the video?

The lovers were dancing

with malnourished cows in the background.

I know. Why cows?

Such simpler times.

Life was so easy.

Easy for you, you mean.

I risked my life every time I came in through this window.

Why don't you change the frame?

Doesn't the bed feel small?

Has it been changed?

No.

It's the same one.

But I guess...

When did we ever sleep on it?

Kavya, you just got here...

don't start right away, please.

You can fight later.

What did I do?

You never pick a side, Ma.

You didn't attend my wedding

but sent me your sari secretly.

Why are you so scared of him?

Kavya, do you know what we were dealing with here?

Your father is such a respected person in society

...so many questions.

Your father really loves you, Kavya.

You know that.

He could have shown me some of his love.

You go to Karthik's house for Diwali,

fly eighteen hours straight every year.

Every year!

Have you visited me even once in the last twelve years?

And it's a two-hour flight to Bombay, Ma.

Fine.

Have you ever invited him?

I haven't told him not to come either.

Sometimes I really wish you both could see

how similar you both are.

Dad and I?

Yes.

No chance!

The director said, he knew I was perfect for the role,

when I fell off that chair!

He was looking for that rawness, you know.

I told you, you'd get the role.

We'll celebrate once I'm back. Okay?

Hey, I just called to check how you were.

You're always sitting on my head.

What?

Really.

Always.

Say it in English?

You are always on my mind.

Stop murdering Hindi!

See, you're missing me too.

Of course I miss you.

You are also 'always sitting on my head'.

What about the pregnancy test?

Yeah, I got one.

And?

I haven't taken it yet.

Look, Nora...

no matter what, I'm there.

We'll figure it out. Okay?

Hey, photographer...

Hey, dentist.

Do you think I'm bull-headed?

Bull-headed means...

stubborn, right?

Not bad. Full marks.

I mean nobody can tell you what to do but...

Bull-headed?

Never.

I listen, don't I?

I'm open-minded, right?

Sure, you listen but then

you go ahead and do exactly what you want.

Otherwise we'd have been on a beach in Cuba by now,

sipping on coconut rum.

Really, Ani? Really?

What will we do if it's positive?

How will we figure it out?

And if it's negative?

What then?

If it's negative, we'll do nothing.

Exactly.

That is what I'm scared of.

We'll keep doing 'nothing' forever.

I just don't like it here.

You want me to come there?

Yeah, right.

Then this will become my funeral as well.

Huh..You'll say nothing and refuse to listen.

Is there any coffee left?

No.

It's cold.

At least both of you are still together...

Happy to see that.

What? Why?

We thought this boy was a phase,

like when you had chopped off your hair.

Remember?

You thought our marriage was a phase?

Akka (Sister),

when did you realize that he's the one?

I don't remember.

You broke off ties with the entire family for him

and you don't remember?

He doesn't look like the 'love at first sight' type.

Hey, CRS... you should see me in a tuxedo.

Tell us, Akka.

Let me tell you my version.

It was raining heavily.

Kavya forcefully locked me in Grandpa's study...

then she leapt up on Grandpa's mahogany study table

and with a swift swish of her hand, threw all the books on the floor!

She wore the stethoscope and called me seductively...

like this... like this...

Obviously he's joking.

Fine. I'll tell you what really happened.

On graduation day, Dr. Kavya Ganeshan picked me up

on Grandpa's scooter.

Everyone knows.

Then you went to Hotel Elephanta and broke that lamp post

and sang for her.

She was driving the scooter?

Yes.

And then we ordered beer and onion rings.

With the last onion ring, she came to me and...

What are you saying?

She proposed to you?

Obviously.

What a badass!

What did you do?

He ate the ring...

with chilli sauce!

Karthik's flight is landing at midnight.

Anirudh was telling us a story.

It's a great story, Uncle.

On graduation day, when Kavu akka became a doctor--

Dentist.

She's a dentist.

Uncle, do you know whose teeth she worked on last week?

Who?

The famous Amitabh Bachchan.

Wow!

The most valuable set of teeth in India.

Does Jaya Bachchan also accompany him?

What about his daughter-in-law Aishwarya?

Do her teeth also need cleaning?

And superstar Rajinikanth?

He doesn't need any dentist.

He cleans his teeth with dynamite!

Poothankurissi Doraiswamy Ramaiyer,

left for heaven at 2:47 p.m.

Heavenly abode, sir.

Okay.

Poothankurissi Doraiswamy Ramaiyer,

left for his heavenly abode at 2:47 p.m.

on Saturday afternoon.

His medical legacy is being carried forward by

his three sons, two daughters

and nine grandchildren.

Please specify - eight doctors and one dentist.

Don't write that.

Use your common sense. Are you an idiot?

So no dentist?

Yes, dentist.

Kavya, go and see if Aunt Sudha wants more coffee.

How much more coffee will she drink?

Let her make her own coffee! I'm not going anywhere.

See, no respect for elders!

What is this obsession with respect, Appa?

There are other kind of feelings too, you know.

This fixation with 'respect',

has left no space in your heart for 'love'.

We are not disrespecting anyone.

Excuse me!

This is between my daughter and me.

-What-- -Sir...

I can come back later.

Where are you going? Sit down.

Can I copy-paste my Grandma's obituary?

-She was also a nurse... -He sells corks.

Why are you asking him?

Why? Can't Ani have an opinion?

He's part of the family whether you like it or not.

Savitri, please tell your daughter that this is not the time and place to--

Talk to me. I'm standing right in front of you.

-Lower your voice. -I will not!

Lower!

Have you ever listened to me?

This is why I shout.

Both of you stop this.

We have guests at home.

I still can't understand how selfish you still are.

Why has the family gathered here?

For Grandpa.

Why is Karthik struggling to get here?

For Grandpa.

But, congratulations.

You somehow managed to make even this about yourself.

Good!

Now if you'll excuse me, I have some arrangements to make.

Sure, just walk away.

What else can you do?

Kavya...

Kavya. Kavya.

Give me the keys.

Pulli will get reprimanded, Kavu paapa.

Go slow, Ganeshan. What are you doing?

Why don't you get off?

Okay, look in front.

What's wrong with cork?

Exactly. This is my sales pitch.

Cork never sinks.

It is light but sturdy.

Come hail, come storm, it's impossible to make it sink.

The thing about cork is...

Ani, please!

Err...Ganeshan, where are we headed?

Fine...

Welcome home, Ganeshan.

Thank God you came, Banerjee.

Even after all these years, Appa still...

-I just don't get-- -Let it be.

That grumpy Poothankuresi Ramaiyer Ganeshan will never change.

For whatever it's worth,

I'm proud of you, Ganeshan.

I'm proud of you too, Banerjee.

Me?

What have I achieved?

You... survived.

One needs guts for that, Banerjee.

You gave up your music and dreams

to take care of your family.

You took care of your sisters, took care of your dad's business.

I wouldn't have been able to do all this.

Dad had done so much for us....

And then he was suddenly... gone.

This stupid cork company was his legacy.

It was his name on the board.

This is all I can do, Ganeshan...

taking care of things.

Thank God.

-Thank you. -Welcome, sir.

That doesn't sound romantic but...

it's not nothing.

You miss dad a lot, don't you?

If he were here today,

he, too, would have been very proud of you.

Don't spoil the mood with a bad joke. Please.

This time it was really good.

You mean, a good bad joke?

God, my head is reeling.

I'd forgotten how much we used to laugh together.

And I'd forgotten how easy it was to make you laugh.

Keep it in your pocket. Quick.

Mend your ways, Banerjee.

We are forty now.

Thirty-eight... don't kill the mood.

Don't fight now.

We don't fight, Banerjee.

There was a time when we fought over everything.

We fought with your family.

We fought to get married.

Correct.

We fought to get the house.

We'd fight over every little thing.

Now I don't even remember when we fought last.

Why don't we fight anymore?

Are you upset because we don't fight?

Of course.

One should fight.

Fights keep a relationship alive.

We stopped talking. We stopped fighting.

We stopped having sex.

Banerjee.

Oh no.

This look of yours is very dangerous.

Last time you looked at me this way, we eloped and got married.

What is it going to be this time, Banerjee?

♪ Without you, my love ♪

♪ I will die... ♪

♪ Come to me, you're my life ♪

♪ Without you, my love ♪

♪ I will die... ♪

♪ Come to me, you're my life ♪

♪ I had to come to you, my love ♪

♪ My heart led you to me ♪

♪ Without you, my love ♪

♪ I will die... ♪

♪ Come to me, you're my life ♪

♪ I had to come to you, my love ♪

♪ My heart led you to me ♪

♪ I had to come to you, my love ♪

♪ My heart led you to me ♪

♪ I know very well, my love ♪

♪ The road ahead will be difficult ♪

♪ We will overcome these difficulties with a smile ♪

♪ Come to me, my love ♪

♪ I had to come to you, my love ♪

♪ My heart led you to me ♪

Relax, Ganeshan.

No one will steal that old scooter.

Pulli will get it. Don't worry.

Ganeshan.

We always see a full moon in films.

How come we got stuck with half a moon?

You know, Banerjee...

As a child, I thought I was the moon's favorite.

And that's why it always keeps an eye on me.

You know, like...

my personal...

Personal spotlight.

Banerjee,

Climb up.

Climb up.

Banerjee.

Climb down.

Hands up!

Don't shoot, Ganeshan.

Why are we sneaking into the house?

Slow...

Ganeshan.

This is how it feels to enter through the front door

like an official son-in-law!

Mapillay sir.

What are you doing, Ganeshan?

People might wake up.

We're now allowed to do this, right?

What is allowed Banerjee? What is allowed?

What is allowed?

Kavya!

Appa.

Karthik?

Kavya?

What's going on?

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Mumbai's Chhatrapati Shivaji International Airport.

You may now use your mobile phones.

The seatbelt sign is still switched on, for your safety.

Just landed.

I know.

Ani, relax.

I'm not stalking you.

I can hear the flight announcements.

Of course.

I'm just tired.

Is it okay if we meet tomorrow?

I've made fish curry for you.

Can I have it tomorrow, please?

Just landed.

The flight was really delayed.

Is it okay if we meet tomorrow?

What about the test...?

Negative.

Let's cook something.

You just need an excuse...

This is the only vegan dish I know.

I'll make the rice.

Coming up...

my grandmother's famous recipe...

Eggplant la poppy seeds.

Oh, the joy of posto (poppy seeds)...

You'll miss it when I stop making it.

Who misses eggplants?

Drink?

Bad idea.

While cooking posto, the trick lies in the timing.

What a strange name... posto.

Like a sexy way of saying 'come here'.

Posto...

It sounds like a French name, ignoramus!

Oh, gourmet chef Banerjee.

I get it.

Cooking aubergine!

General Posto.

General Posto...

I'm starving.

Me too.

Chilli sauce makes everything better.

Sometimes you don't realize how much you miss something

till you have it again.

What?

Are vegans allowed to eat chicken after sex?

How come you suddenly turned vegan?

Do you know Chicken 65 originated in Tamil Nadu?

It used to be item number 65 on the menu of a popular restaurant.

It had a complicated name,

so people started calling it Chicken 65.

Cool, isn't it?

Come on.

You guys are always taking credit for everything.

Kabaddi, murukku, Sridevi, Rajinikanth...

Hey, Rajinikanth is a Tamil superstar!

-Shivaji Rao Gaekwad, he's a Maharashtrian. -Yeah, whatever.

Beer is not good for health.

We should only order wine.

Do you even like wine?

Then?

Cheers!

Beers!

Sir, there's a Ms. Rosie here to meet you.

I told her you're busy, but she insisted.

You look busy. Should I come back?

Come.

Please come.

What are you doing here?

What are YOU doing here?

This is my office...

And why are you in office?

You said you'd meet me right after you return.

Your phone was off all bloody night!

Come.

Please come.

This way.

Try to understand, Nora.

Her grandfather has passed away. They were very close

Where did this grandfather suddenly come from?

Never heard of him before!

Why would we discuss my wife's grandfather?

Oh, so now she's your 'wife'?

She has always been my wife.

Nora, listen...

Let's go watch a film.

What?

You and me.

Like a proper date.

Let's watch a film today.

Fine.

My favorite photographer.

My missing dentist.

The door, please.

All okay?

My family can get a bit much but...

I'm just tired.

No one sees me this way.

You just make me look so...

You are beautiful.

Come to New York with me.

New York? Now?

In three weeks.

It's Diwali in three weeks, Vik.

There's always something. Isn't there?

The lawyer has sent the papers.

I can't believe that we're actually on a date.

Like a normal couple.

...wearing normal clothes.

You looked like a fire engine this morning...

I wish something bad happens to her.

Who? Kavya?

I don't want her to come under a bus or anything...

but you know...

if she were to get chicken pox for a couple of months...

or if her doctor dad were to go to jail for tax fraud.

Must you go back tonight?

Not at all.

I'll call and tell her that I'll be working late tonight.

If it's mutual consent, the Judge will send you to a counselor.

Then there's the 12-18 weeks period.

Here I think they call it the...

'harmony period'?

...something like that.

How many marriages have you ruined?

I do my homework.

Kavya, it's okay to cheat you know.

Put some cheese on your salad if you want.

I'll still love you.

Get lost!

I'll probably need to take this.

It's Mum.

What's up?

Why are you speaking in Tamil?

Actually...

be quick.

Sorry, Ganeshan.

I will be working late today.

I have to close the Japanese deal.

I'll eat with Mapuskar and spend the night here.

Okay, sure.

Remember Lata from my clinic?

It's her birthday today.

We're planning a surprise for her.

I'll eat here as well.

Okay.

So what's there for dinner?

We'll probably order Chinese food.

Oh nice.

So will we.

Chicken 65?

That's a good idea.

Chicken 65 is the best idea.

Wasn't it delicious the last time?

You know what...

I think it was the best Chicken 65 of our lives.

Really?

We've had better, haven't we?

Let's have it again.

Sure.

This time it might be even better...

Hi.

So...

Mapuskar let you leave?

And Lata's birthday?

It's past midnight...

Happy Birthday, Lata!

Banerjee...

I look different now, don't I?

What do you mean?

I've changed, haven't I?

Your temper is not as bad.

I mean in the way I look...

You saw me now, right?...

I see you everyday.

Not this way...

My laugh lines are visible now...

Look closely.

They are visible.

That means I'm looking old.

No.

It means you like to laugh a lot.

And me?

You?

You haven't changed a bit.

You still make the same sound when you...

you know, when you...

What sound?

When you get very excited, you...

make sound like...

Just like a pressure cooker.

Which pressure cooker in the world sounds like that?

Since when does all this make you angry?

I don't make these sounds at all.

Maybe...

like an electric kettle...

♪ What will it say, what will it do... ♪

♪ Without a care in the world ♪

♪ This heart is indeed a fool ♪

♪ It'll go to that place ♪

♪ It's told not to chase ♪

♪ You see this fool ♪

♪ Writing paper tales ♪

♪ Singing out of tune scales ♪

♪ Of forgotten days ♪

♪ This spoilt, little child ♪

♪ Just wants to run wild And it does what it wants ♪

♪ This foolish heart... ♪

Are you having an affair?

Remember Lata from my clinic?

It's her birthday.

We're planning a surprise for her. I'll eat dinner with them.

I'll be working very late...

have to close the Japanese deal.

I'll eat with Mapuskar.

♪ This foolish heart... ♪

♪ This foolish heart... ♪

Can we take it from the top, please?

...we're all running.

Running from ourselves.

Running from our lives.

Only the city stands still.

Photographer Vikram Sehgal captures this stillness in the...

Kavya?

Kavya.

What happened?

You fell asleep. Again.

No, I was listening...

just shut my eyes for a bit.

I've just been so tired these past few days.

Please read. I'm listening.

What was the last thing you heard?

That bit about running.

How running is good for health

and everyone must run these days...

Affair? With who?

With my wife?

Are you?

You won't believe it, Nora...

I'm playing football with the Japanese.

Football?

Since when did you start playing football, Ani?

Yes, Takashi... Pass...

Arigato.

Nobu San...

[makes up some Japanese words]

Aannnddd Goal!

-Ani? -I'll call you back.

♪ This foolish heart ♪

♪ This foolish heart ♪

His monstrous claws appear after sunset.

Don't scream! Or they'll wake up

Let me get this straight...

First, you cheated on your wife with your mistress.

Don't call her a 'mistress.'

I detest that word!

And now you're cheating on your mistress

with your wife?

Stop calling her a 'mistress.'

I really don't know what to do, Aditi.

Just tell her that you're in love with someone else, dada.

I wish I knew who to say this to.

Just give me a minute.

May I speak to Dr. Ganeshan please?

Dr. Ganeshan?

She has already left for the day. Can I take a message?

No. Thank you.

The number you're calling is unavailable...

Excuse me.

Could you please step aside?

This is my spot.

I mean I live here. That's my space.

Floor?

Same.

Diwali is special, isn't it?

Hasn't Diwali arrived early this year?

Let's spend Diwali by ourselves this time.

Like old times.

Am I dying, Ganeshan?

Hiding my blood reports from me?

♪ Let's go, You and Me ♪

♪ To that open sky where we ♪

♪ Can spread our wings like birds ♪

♪ Let's see if we can wrap ourselves into the night ♪

♪ In a blanket of stars ♪

♪ And sing tara tara ta ♪

Ganeshan,

your moon is still stalking you.

Ani Banerjee?

Sign please.

-Sign here. -What's this?

Who sent this?

Ms. Rosie...

Good day, sir.

Are you just going to leave me here and go?

Happy Diwali, sir.

Let's go.

Hey...

Mom? Dad?

I mean Dr. Ganeshan...

I didn't know you were coming...

The door...

...the wind slammed it shut.

Don't you have the keys?

Sorry.

-It's okay. -Let me take the suitcases.

-It's okay-- -No, let me.

Mom, please call Kavya.

Of course.

Piano?

Hey, what are you doing?

Hi, Appa.

Kavya...

What happened?

Appa...

It's a full-size piano, Nora.

Not a keychain. I can't even hide it!

Why will you hide it? I just wanted to gift it to you.

We'll get to Washington on 27th,

but we need to sort out Grandpa's Will before that.

Yes.

The lawyer is from Bombay.

So you're not really here to visit me.

You're here for work.

But we're here now, aren't we?

Why didn't you call me?

I would have come to the airport.

I'll call you later.

Kavya's parents are here.

What? Why?

♪ There you stood, by the canteen ♪

♪ I was lurking, almost unseen ♪

Mom wanted to see our wedding photos.

There aren't too many, so...

Come sit, Kavya.

♪ I'm the one who made the mistake ♪

♪ And got stuck with you ♪

♪ All the hearts I had to break ♪

-You look beautiful. ♪ -Why didn't I just listen to my family? ♪

♪ This story of you and me is older than the movies ♪

♪ I'm crazy about you ♪

♪ And I'm crazy about me too! ♪

♪ I'll follow you around day and night ♪

♪ And cook Chinese for you on weekends ♪

♪ No matter how it tastes ♪

♪ I'll say, 'it's delicious' ♪

♪ This boy, he's handsome and smart. Oh, how lucky I am ♪

You recorded a football match over this?

No, no...

I don't know which tape this is.

Come on, Ani.

It says 'Salsa Class' on the tape, how would I know...

This is...

Why are you getting so angry?

Do you even remember the last time we watched this?

This is our only copy.

Is this the World Cup semi-finals?

Batman.

What?

Your dad is like Batman.

His alarm goes off when someone touches his daughter!

And he appears out of thin air!

The only year we wanted to spend Diwali on our own.

Feels like our college days...

we're 40 now...

38!

Where's the AC remote?

On the bedside table, Appa.

Good night.

Batman returns!

I told you

Poothankuresi Ramaiyer Ganeshan is Batman.

Who sent the piano?

-Hello? -Ani, it's the first dress rehearsal.

Can you come to the theatre?

Now?

I'm leaving for work now...

Please.

Everyone... Ready?

♪ What came to me in this dream ♪

♪ Can I tell you? ♪

♪ Where are you? ♪

♪ I've brought all my love ♪

♪ To your doorstep ♪

♪ Where are you? ♪

♪ Don't make me wait ♪

♪ Come to me this once ♪

♪ Come and fall into my arms ♪

♪ I'm right here but, where are you? ♪

♪ What came to me in this dream ♪

♪ Can I tell you? ♪

♪ Where are you? ♪

♪ I have stayed up nights waiting for you ♪

♪ Where are you? ♪

Ani!

Wait, Ani...

Wait, Ani...

You didn't like it?

Were the violins too much?

The troupe has been practicing for a whole month!

Ani.

Why are you using this song, Nora?

Without even asking me...

Ani, I love this song.

I wanted the world to hear your song.

I don't want anyone to hear it. No one!

You don't know anything about this song.

This is the ONE thing

that belonged to me.

Why on earth did you send a piano to my house?

I told you, I'll speak to her after Diwali.

Couldn't you wait for a few more days?

Did you have to send it now?

I just wanted to do something for you.

Don't. Please don't do anything.

Don't sing my songs.

Don't send a piano to my house.

Please don't do anything!

You think I want to do this shit?

I'm tired of finding ways to keep you close to me.

I don't know what to do

to hold on to you.

I know I'm a bit crazy...

I behave childishly, but

...all this madness is only for you, Anirudh.

I don't know how to live without you.

The play opens next week...

and I'm just not prepared.

You're going to be a star, Nora.

And I will be cheering for you from the last row.

Not the last row, Anirudh.

I want you in the front row.

I want to tell everyone,

'Guys, meet Mr. Ani Banerjee.

He'd rehearse lines with me every morning before work.'

Are you currently a ghost or am I allowed to touch you?

Ganeshan...

Kavya ma'am?

-Hello? -Sorry, Vikram sir?

I couldn't get through your phone

that's why I called Kavya ma'am.

Will it be just your name on the registration papers of the house

or should I add Kavya madam's name too?

Hello?

Vikram sir?

Vikram sir?

Hello...

Hello...

Vikram sir?

Vikram sir?

Add Kavya's name.

Alright.

Congratulations, sir.

This Diwali will be a special one for both of you.

I'll send the keys over to your studio, sir.

Happy Diwali.

What happened?

Ani, just pass me the chilli sauce.

Hi.

What happened?

Why are we back here?

I'll have to rush back soon.

Dad is coming to the clinic today. Alone.

I'm already quite stressed.

I have something to show you.

I got just one day to do this, madam.

Your favorite couch on the left...

for your early morning filter coffee.

And this is your blue wall

matching the color of your sea.

And here you go, our Bombay specialty...

the beautiful, Bombay sea.

What's going on, Vik?

A blender?

A special, state-of-the-art, long-lasting blender.

One that the sea won't ruin easily.

See, I figured it all out.

Open it.

'Very distress sale, madam'.

Isn't this what you wanted?

I don't know, Vik.

I don't know.

What do you want from me, Kavya?

You know, I've been running all my life Kavs.

I don't know if I've ever believed in the idea of a home.

I've chased after...

moments and

things and people.

I've clicked and framed and lived in every city in the world

but none of them felt like home.

Not even New York.

Then I met you.

You ruined my life.

And now I'm done...

I'm done wandering,

I'm done chasing.

I'm done running.

I feel homesick when I'm not with you.

So this is it.

This is what I want.

Right here. Right now.

With you.

Won't you stay here with me?

I don't know what...

Just move in here with me, Kavs.

Maybe we won't work out.

But maybe, just maybe...

we continue to be amazing.

We will never know until we try.

Mujhe chhodke mar jao (speaking in Hindi).

'Mar jao' means to die.

You mean 'mat jao'... don't go.

Please mat jao...

Keep the key until Diwali.

And then?

You decide.

Sorry I'm late, Dad.

Where were you?

Dr. Ganeshan...

Kavya, your 2 p.m. appointment is waiting for you in Room No. 5.

She specially asked for you.

It'll take me 15-20 minutes.

I'll wait.

Her name is Rosie. I'll be back.

Thanks.

Hi, Rosie.

Routine cleaning?

Any other issues?

Can you rinse for me, please?

What do you do, Rosie?

Nothing seems to be going my way today.

Sorry about that.

Let's see...

Open your mouth please.

Wider.

Sorry?

He is going to leave you.

What?

Anirudh. He's going to leave you.

I've paid online.

Thank you.

What happened?

I'll drive. Give.

Where are we going?

Why do you always drive so slowly, Appa?

Right or left?

I feel like I'll die of old age in this damn car!

Turn left.

Left!

Stop it, Kavya!

I feel like such a failure, Dad.

You were right...

no matter how hard I try,

I'm such a goddamn failure in what I do.

I'm a failure, Dad.

You and your Bengali...

you are planning to...

To separate?

Perhaps.

I don't know. I mean...

I have no clue.

Why couldn't you just show me some love, Dad?

All my life I've been so greedy for love that

if I don't get it,

I just go take it wherever I can.

How do you do it, Dad?

Mum and you...

every single day for so many years.

What's the secret?

There's no secret at all.

None at all.

You just keep showing up every day.

Do you know when I drive slowly?

When you are in the car.

What should I get for both of you from the US?

Nothing.

[indistinct chatter]

Bye.

Rosie?

Seriously, Ani?

Rosie?

What...

Who the hell has an affair with a girl named Rosie?

That's not her real name.

She's doing a play in which her character

is named Rosie.

That's it?

Wow! I have no more questions, Your Honor.

Case closed.

She came to my clinic herself to tell me that you're leaving me

because my husband is such a coward--

Damn you, Ganeshan!

I'm the coward here?!

You're the one who's gone and bought a house with someone else. What about that?

Your estate agent had called...

'My heartiest congratulations to you,

Kavya ma'am and some Vikram sir.'

I didn't know about the house...

He told me today.

Who is he?

How does it matter?

Classic Ganeshan.

You're the one always deciding what matters and what doesn't.

Stop calling me Ganeshan. I'm your wife, not a security guard!

What does he call you?

What?

When he f***s you, what does he call you?

Do you really want to know?

Yes, please. I want to know.

He just says he loves me.

Yes, walk away.

You're just like your Appa.

No, no... why will I walk away?

It's a big day for us.

Finally we're doing something together, even if it's fighting.

Couple goals. Woohoo!

What don't we do together?

Really?

After five full years, we managed to travel out of Bombay - for?

For a funeral!

I'm sorry.

I'm extremely sorry we can't go skiing in Switzerland.

Because I have to run this house.

The business is struggling.

I have to pay the EMIs.

I pay the EMIs as well! This is my house too.

Oh please!

You don't even turn off the lights.

Lights?

Are we going to fight over the electricity bill now?

Fine.

I'll switch off all the lights.

Sit in the dark and eat your disgusting eggplant.

If this was a problem,

why have you lied all these years saying you like eggplant?

Because that's marriage.

One needs to lie. And I did, too!

I hate your 'eggplant á la poppy seeds'.

And I hate your stainless steel utensils.

All this steel makes the kitchen look like a hardware store!

What's wrong with stainless steel?

I don't know.

I don't even know what to call you anymore.

Why, Ani?

Why did you leave everything?

After your dad passed away, not just music,

you left everything.

Your madness, your irritating cooking habits,

taking time out for me... for us,

being happy, laughing out loud... you gave it up all.

I had to.

Everything changed after Dad passed away.

I had to change too.

And the factory--

The damn factory!

You became obsessed with the factory, Ani.

You'd return home after I was asleep.

Every day.

I missed you.

Even though we shared a room

you appeared so distant.

Can you even imagine that kind of loneliness?

You weren't the same Ani who I -

What did you want me to do about it?

What did you want me to do?

I don't feel like laughing,

I couldn't hold on to the old Ani inside me...

I had to let him go.

You changed, Ani.

And you didn't.

What?

You did not change, Kavya.

Life changes and that changes people.

But you just refused to change.

Why didn't you talk to me?

You didn't talk to me either.

I just felt so trapped.

Why should I return to that emptiness every night?

Her name is Nora.

She likes me as I am...

clumsy, broken,

burdened with responsibilities...

plain and boring Ani.

You know the best thing about her...

she needs me.

I needed you too, Ani.

...back then, maybe.

You gave up on me, Kavya.

You gave up on yourself, Ani.

Is that why you got the abortion?

What?

We could have been a proper family.

That's not fair.

We both agreed, Ani.

It's what you decided.

The last few months felt like--

...if only we could press the reset button and

things would go back to the way they were.

If only...

Life has become so complicated, isn't it?

Now there are others involved too.

Who knows, in six months...

we might again go back to only talking about

the AC, garbage bags and anti-allergy medicines...

Sometimes love isn't enough.

♪ The two shores, they parted ways ♪

♪ And the river lost its way ♪

♪ The two shores, they parted ways ♪

♪ And the river lost its way ♪

♪ Was it the drops of water? Was it the waves? ♪

♪ Was it the drops of water? Was it the waves? ♪

♪ Whose fault was it? ♪

♪ The two shores, they parted ways ♪

♪ And the river lost its way ♪

♪ Was it the drops of water? Was it the waves? ♪

♪ Was it the drops of water? Was it the waves? ♪

♪ Whose fault was it? ♪

♪ The two shores, they parted ways ♪

♪ And the river lost its way ♪

♪ That crazy moon, it sits in the sky ♪

♪ Pens its stories on the sea ♪

♪ I try to reason ♪

♪ But the heart, it doesn't listen ♪

♪ The dawn we once shared ♪

♪ Got lost in the night ♪

♪ The two shores, they parted ways ♪

♪ And the river lost its way ♪

♪ The two shores, they parted ways ♪

♪ And the river lost its way ♪

♪ The stories of this heart ♪

♪ Cannot be captured in words ♪

♪ These moments, they have let us down ♪

♪ They sit quietly, teary-eyed ♪

♪ And the life that we once shared ♪

♪ Has suddenly become lifeless ♪

♪ The two shores, they parted ways ♪

♪ And the river lost its way ♪

♪ The two shores, they parted ways ♪

♪ And the river lost its way ♪

-Bye. -Bye.

Happy holidays.

Hello?

Hi, Kavya.

Hi.

I just wanted to let you know

The paperwork for the house is ready.

The new owners want possession next week.

That's nice.

The money from the sale will be equally divided between the two of you.

Great.

-Bye. -Thank you, Swati.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Taxi.

Happy Diwali, Kavya.

Happy Diwali.

The house is now...

I know.

Where are you?

By the way, I watched your Rosie's film...

Hate to admit, she's quite good.

She'll be a superstar.

I'd see her photos on Instagram and in magazines.

Bloody stalker.

Anyway, that chapter is closed now.

I know.

Read about that too.

I'm so sorry it didn't work out between the two of you.

Sure, liar!

You're not sorry at all.

She loved you a lot.

Sometimes love isn't enough.

I thought of calling you...

several times.

I wasn't sure if you'd want to speak to me.

I would want to talk to you all my life, Kavya.

Get lost!

How is your hot photographer?

Don't know.

Must be shooting dilapidated buildings somewhere in the world.

What do you mean?

Lata said that you were in Europe for six months.

I thought you'd gone with him.

Well, I did go to Europe. But alone.

I knew it...

I knew you weren't fully happy...

I felt it.

What?

I missed you, Ganeshan.

Banerjee...

pass me the chilli sauce.

Open it for me.