Original subtitles

[V.6.]

I see this experience as being born again.

Born into the world, from the world itself.

And I don't know.

There's just something kind of beautiful about that.

Not a religious thing.. I...

Don't die.

Don't die.

Don't die.

Don't die. Don't die.

Don't die.

Don't die..

Okay... Okay... Okay.

Okay.

Fucking kidding me.

It's gonna work.

It's gonna work.

It's gonna work.

It's gonna work.

Right now.

Fuck!

Okay. Maybe this...

Maybe this is some kind of a fucking joke, Man.

This can't possibly be happening.

Okay, maybe it's happening, but it's.. It's not happening the way that I think it's happening.

It's just.. It's not happening the way that I think it's happening.

You look like shit.

Okay, I got to think this out.

I took the morning.

I skimmed through the Marketing Research.

I was gonna go meet the client for lunch.

I was driving, got my car, I was on the phone, was talking to Terry.

Was it raining?

I can't remember.

Jesus Christ.

Okay, I'm recording.

So, um...

I've started talking to myself,

which I take as a bad sign in

just about any situation.

So, I decided that I'm gonna address my phone.

Hello.

Uh... I guess.. I guess I'm

thinking that a disaster like

this would lead to some kind of a public response.

I think it would have to.

Which brings me to the question, where the hell is everyone?

It's 15, 20 minutes to call it in, half an hour to dispatch.

I mean, it wouldn't even take that long.

It's probably only a couple of feet of dirt.

All right, it's 1:48 in the afternoon.

I haven't even been down here for an hour.. I'm fine.

Everything's fine.

I'm fine.

You're fine.

Everybody's fine.

I just got to wait.. Just got to wait.

Nothing to do but wait.

You know, mother nature just

came by for a little, unexpected visit, so...

Fantastic.

How would I sell mud, I wonder.

Oh, my God.

I cannot believe that I am stuck

down here, and terry got to go

to the meeting, and he probably fucked it up.

I got to get out of here.

Okay, that can't be good.

Yep.

You are slowly tilting to the left, aren't you?

Ow!

Fucker.

Where are you?

That's 20.

That's 20%.. Or 21% or...

Or...

Or something.

And the... Rest is nitrogen and traces of other shit, like...

Hydrogen and Carbon Dioxide.

That's why they say it's like the silent killer.

It's the Co2 that kills.

I'm like the fucking blob.

I'm like the fucking blob.

Why can't I be like Steve McQueen?

Steve McQueen would have found a way out of this by now.

Steve McQueen would already be up on the surface, at a bar,

having a drink and a smoke and a laugh.

I'm down here stuck, because I wanted to move to California.

Fuck.

Why did I move to California..

Where there are mudslides, apparently?

Mudslides.

There isn't even any fucking water in California, and there are mudslides!

Oh, fuck.

There's no water.

It's a goddamn, glorified desert, but when the water

comes, hold on to your ass, everybody, 'cause you're gonna get fucked in it!

Well, you know what?

You know what?

Fuck you.

Fuck you, California.

Fuck you and your fucking raisins.

I mean, what a stupid ad campaign that was, right?

Okay.

I got to calm down.

I got to calm.. I got to calm down.

I got enough air.

I'm gonna be okay.

I just need to calm down.

Okay, come here.

What?

Come here.

What? What? What?

Look, film this.

It's right here.

This. Look at this mess.

Holy shit. What is that?

Mr. Del Acosta, as you can

see, our yard has been decimated

by a pack of unruly coyotes.

They come down from the

mountains in the hours before

dawn and destroy our humble yard

that I've worked so hard to create.

Excuse me. Sorry.

Can I just.. Can I ask a question?

Why don't you just talk to him?

Talk to who?

Our landlord, Del Acosta.

I am talking to him.

You're filming me talking to him.

I know, but it's just.. It's a little antagonistic.

Don't you think?

I'm protecting my rights, Jackson.

We pay rent for this place.

Uh huh.

I'll probably just use it for my Small Claims Class.

But still, it's important to document.

Just covering my ass here.

I thought I was covering your ass.

My God. Give me that.

What?

Stop it.

See how this feels?

Yeah, it feels pretty good.

Feels.. Oh, it feels good?

Yeah.

You want me to try?

Yeah.

Mr. Del Acosta.. Well, you're moving in on me.

You.. Stop it.

That's how it feels.

You can do it again.

I just.. I'm saying, I need to see more passion.

I need more passion, okay?

You want to see passion?

Yeah.

I should have gone shopping for that stuff.

I better save my battery.

Endeara springs...

I'm so sorry. What is the line?

What is the slogan?

Just drink it.

Do I say, "Just drink it," or

do you want me to just drink it?

I'm sorry.

Just pop the cap open and start drinking it.

Oh. I'm sorry.

What's the problem?

It's.. The cap's not coming off.

Is this glued?

I'm sorry, I can't get this open.

It's just.. I'm sorry.

You got it.

Just keep going. Come on.

What is the problem?

Jackson?

Wake up!

Ow.

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

Ow!

Cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp.

Ah.

Oh.

Are you kidding me?

Oh, my God.

Over five hours passed.

Oh, my God.

I wonder if I'm tired because I'm running out of oxygen.

No, you're tired because you haven't slept.

Just.. You just didn't sleep last night.

You were working on the pitch.

You were up late, so...

It hasn't been that long.

Just relax.

Relax.

All right, give me something hollow.

Unh unh unh unh unh.

Aah!

Blech.

Ugh.

I was planning on masturbating, too.

Ohhh, scratch that idea.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no. No.

Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.

Shit!

Okay.

Oh, fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck fuck, fuck, fuck.

Why did I do that?

Why did I just do that?

Oh, Man.

Oh, fuck it.

Oh, God, that was good.

Okay.

I know I'm not the best person in the world.

But I'm also.. I'm not the worst person in the world.

And I just.. I just want to say this, that...

If you get me out of this,

Then I.. I know you've heard

this before, but if you get me

out of this, I mean it.

I will do anything.

I will do anything.

Anything.

I just.. I just want to see Laurie again.

I just had to record this

because I can't believe that

bands still go out of their way

to record their shit on vinyl.

What is that?

Is that, like, some cool hipster

thing that I'm not aware of?

I don't know.

Do you like it, though, the song?

What's it about?

Heroin.

I was gonna say heroin, actually.

Oh, you would have been correct.

Hmm.

"Rat's rabbits are calling."

Yeah.

I think that's drug influenced.

Do you like it?

I mean, it's okay.

Why?

'Cause I was thinking, if you liked it, you could give it to somebody.

Is that was that was all

about, me just playing this so

that you could ask me for

another favor for your brother?

I know you think he's a loser, but, you know, you know people.

You have connections.

Maybe you could give it to someone.

Okay, first of all, I never said that your brother was a loser.

I just think he's really unreliable.

And second of all, I don't work in radio.

I work in commercials.

I've told you this.

What can I do?

You broadcast your commercials on the radio.

Look at the little lawyer nailing me on a technicality.

That's true.

He looks up to you.

You know, he thinks you're cool.

Oh, come on.

That is such B.S.

Your brother doesn't even use the word "Cool."

And he wouldn't use it to describe me.

I'm and "Ad" man.

I like everything rock and roll is against.

Is that a no?

You're really lucky you're cute.

You know that?

Have him convert it to an mp3,

and I will see what I can do.

Aren't we a little old for Easter?

No. Never.

Easter is important, Jackson.

The Easter Egg represents new life, resurrection.

Okay.

The egg lays dormant with its

life suspended until it's ready

to hatch into something new.

That's beautiful.

Is that why you boil the shit

out of them and then soak them in food coloring?

I'm a believer.

You want to go hunt some eggs?

If that means what I think it means.

Come on, Babe.

It's not even gonna be Easter anymore.

Okay.

Yeah? You ready?

Yeah.

Wow. Finally.

Whoa.

You know, I never had Easter Egg Hunts like this when I was a kid.

Aah!

What?

What?

No, no! No!

Why are you so shy?

I think I'm done with the filming.

No, no, no.

Keep filming.

Okay.

I mean, I won't have my hands free for "Hunting."

Well, it depends on what you're hunting.

What do you think I'm hunting?

Eggs.

Well, you already found mine.

Oh, come on.

Easter Egg is, like, the perfect metaphor.

Are you serious?

Yeah.

No more miracles.

I'm not gonna convince myself

that God is gonna reach down and pull me out of this shit.

I don't believe in miracles.

You want something done right, you got to do it yourself.

Burma.

Why did you say Burma?

I panicked.

Forget the penguin on the telly.

It ain't Burma anymore.

No, Sir.

Don't like your name?

Well, that's okay.

We can change it for you.

We're in advertising.

Shit, we can change anything.

Recently toppled your National Government?

Well, terrific.

Congratulations, you know?

What is your chief export?

Heroin?

Well, you know that used to be a

problem, but we find that people

are a lot more amenable to how

Governments remain profitable these days.

Take bottled water for instance.

You know?

What better way to make money

than to sell off your water

rights to a private corporation

who's gonna bottle it and sell

it back to your poor citizens,

who can't even afford to buy it?

Bottled water.

Okay, I have newspaper, plastic bags, shirts, and five wire hangers.

Spool of twine, two magic

markers, about a half a roll of

tape, a quart of motor oil,

three empty bottles of water, one maglite flashlight.

I have my iphone with ear buds,

one packet of tissues, my nail

clipper, one pair of gardening

gloves, one blanket, one bicycle

pump, five cassette tapes..

Including "Bushmen of the Kalahari 2."

When the hell did I buy that?

Two foldable camping chairs in a pleasing blue carrying case.

I should be able to do something with this stuff.

Ow.

Damn it.

Aah.

Come on, come on, come on.

There we go.

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Oh, my God.

Ahh.

I tell you.

It's the little things in life you got to appreciate.

No, I'm not talking about you, Buddy.

I'm just talking about what you're doing.

Aah!

Aah!

Uhh...

Oh, yeah.

There you go.

Nice.

Phew. Lunch break.

Okay.

What is on the menu?

Let me see what we've got.

We have white fudge covered pretzels.

Oh, my God.

Not too many, so take it slow.

Guaranteed to be the best meal you ever had in your life.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Mm, we also have, to wash it down, silty mud water.

The less I say about that, the better.

Mmm. Gritty, but good.

Today, in Southern California, the ancient

tomb of Jeep Cherokee was uncovered along with the

mummified remains of one Jackson Alder.

Alder, a caucasian male, was

believed to be in his early 30s

at the time of his unscheduled mummification.

Historical Facebook records indicate that Alder was a member

of the groups "If one million people join this group, nothing

will happen" and "I still play that game where the ground is lava."

Scientists are running tests on

his remains to determine what

Alder's diet consisted of, how

often he engaged in the sex act,

and whether or not he can be reanimated.

For futuristic BBC News, I'm Ethan Hawke.

Good night.

Let's go. Let's go.

Yes.

Nice.

Oh, yes.

Aah!

Okay.

Okay.

Please, please, please.

Oh, yeah!

Whoo!

Hey!

I'm down here!

Oh!

Oh, God.

I'm down here!

Come on down!

There's plenty of room!

We got muddy water to drink and a couple of fudge covered pretzels!

Okay.

Okay. Okay.

Next is wait for it to fill up with air.

Fuck that. I'm not waiting.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

And you are gonna work just like a chimney.

And you're gonna work.

Help me!

Help me!

Shit.

I'm down here!

Ahh.

Fuck!

God!

Oh, brilliant.

Okay.

(Mumbling) My Tube TV.

What do I do with My Tube TV?

Oh, David Letterman.

You can throw it off a building,

or.. I don't even know if he

still does that anymore.

My Hibachi.. I'm gonna give

that to my brother, Paul, so

that he can carry on the grand

tradition at tailgate parties and beach barbecue.

Ahh.

Okay, well, you know what?

I don't have any more stuff left, so...

I'm gonna start giving stuff away that I don't own.

Who the fuck's gonna stop me anyway?

So, we'll start with the...

Eiffel...

Tower.

Laurie can definitely have that.

But she's gonna have to share it

with the other star crossed lovers...

Even if she thinks they're assholes.

"But must share..."

Shit!

Aah!

Oh, God!

Ugh.

Aah.

Aah!

Oh!

Oh!

How did you get in this mess?

Thought you guys could fly.

God.

If you couldn't make it out of

this, how the fuck am I supposed to get out of this?

Look, I'm sorry, but...

I may have to eat you later.

I'm sorry, Little Bird.

So sorry.

No!

Oh!

Oh, God, if I wasn't

such a fucking chicken shit, I would have already gotten out of this by now.

But I'm too stupid, and I'm too

fucking cowardly to get out of this.

You always thought you were gonna be a hero.

There's nothing you can do.

You're gonna die like a dog.

Your days are numbered.

It's a small fucking number.

When that.. When that number comes up, you're gone.

My number's up.

A little gardening?

Yeah.

What are you planting?

Baby blue eyes.

It's a wildflower native to

California and in some parts of Oregon, I think.

They're really nice flowers.

Till the coyotes come and get them.

They're rabbits, actually.

What?

Well, coyotes don't eat flowers.

It's probably rabbits, more likely.

Either way, I guess.

Yeah, well, either way, you

don't have to worry about it.

You know why?

'Cause I'm building you a fence.

You are?

Mm hmm.

That's manly.

Tell me about it.

Don't get too excited, though.

It' s just gonna be a few poles,

a little bit of chicken wire.

Got yourself a fence.

Thank you.

Hey.

I'm here to protect you.

And our plant?

Do you believe in second chances?

What?

There's something I have to tell you.

I, um... I wouldn't have made it

out alive if it wasn't for you.

I mean, you're the only reason

that I'm here right now.

So I just wanted to say thank

you for living inside my head.

It's no problem.

Rent's cheap.

Not many occupants.

(Indistinct)

Damn it.

What's really important are the metrics on the

Endeara Springs Campaign you finished.

Pow!

Eye popping.

I mean, remarkable,

considering you refused to take

any time off after your... You know, accident.

Well, yeah.

Well, this business is as much an art as it is a science.

And you are selling thirst

better than anybody out there right now.

And I want you to know...

I am here to protect you.

And protect our plant.

Laurie.

What's wrong?

What's wrong, Baby?

Either way, you don't have to worry about it.

You know why?

'Cause I'm gonna build you a fence.

You are?

Mm hmm.

Very manly.

I know.

Don't get too excited, though.

It's just gonna be a few poles,

a little chicken wire.

Got yourself a fence.

Well, thank you.

You're welcome.

I'm here to protect you.

And our plant?

What?

It's, uh, nothing.

I just have to, uh...

I got a phone call.

Hi, Laurie.

Um...

I-I just want to say that I'm sorry for my appearance.

I know I look like shit.

I tried to clean myself up for

you, believe it or not, but this

is about as good as I could do.

Uh...

Sorry.

I just wanted to say that I can't stop thinking about all the stupid...

Conversations that we had about

getting married, and...

God, how many times I said that

I didn't want to get married.

And it's just so stupid because,

I got to tell you, there's

nothing that I'd rather do than to marry you.

God, I just wish I had the

chance to marry you, you know?

Just to have a family, just a normal family.. That's all I want.

Of course, I'd probably be

making you a widow if we got

married, so that's probably not good, but...

And we didn't even name our baby.

Paul said that, at the hospital,

if you don't have a name for the

baby then, that they would just call it Baby Alder.

So...

Um...

I'm recording this video...

For Baby Alder.

Sorry.

Hi, Sweetheart.

Hi, Baby.

You don't know me, but I'm your dad.

And I just want you to know that

I died a very happy man.. Very

happy.. Because I was thinking about you.

And I don't even know if you're

a boy or a girl or...

I don't know what you're gonna

choose to do with your life or

who you're gonna fall in love

with and who you're gonna get

married, or if you get married.

But none of that matters.

It doesn't change the way that I feel about you, and it couldn't

Change how much I love you.

And I'm sorry.

I'm really sorry that I can't be

there for you in your life.

You got to believe that there's

nothing in the world...

That I would have wanted more

than the chance to hold your

little hand, and take you to

soccer practice or ballet practice or whatever.

Whatever you do, I wanted that.

You know, if you see me upset, I-I'm sorry.

It's not because I'm sad.

You have to understand, and you will one day that...

It's 'cause I love you.

The way that I feel and the

tears that I'm crying right now, they're tears of love.

I'm gonna end this now, but I just wanted to get a chance to meet you...

And to tell you that you have a father who loves you.

You have a father that loves you

more than anything in the world.

And I will always be there for you.

Always.

I'm here to protect you, you know.

And our plant?

What?

It's, uh, nothing.

I just have to, uh...

I got a phone call.

Peanut.

Pea... Nut.

Tell me what you think of when

you hear the world "Peanut."

Go.

Butter.

Beer?

Okay, yawn.

Anything else.

Urination.

Interesting. Why?

Uh, well, "Pee."

Yeah, I know.

Terry, Baby, we can't use "Pee."

Okay?

All right, listen up for a second.

You might actually learn something, okay?

"P" is many things.

It is a letter, it is a

vegetable, it is urinary relief,

and frankly, it's not such a

stretch to that organ that we

all know and love.

So, all we need to do is connect

the peanut with the penis, and

we have ourselves a top selling product.

Are you on drugs?

I'm not on drugs.

I mean, what kind of a question is that?

You got to keep up with me here, Terry.

This is advertising 101.

I don't understand why this is throwing you for such a loop, okay?

Just do me a favor.

At this meeting, keep your mouth

shut, keep your ears open, and let me do that talking.

'Cause I've worked really hard

to get to this point, and I don't need you fucking it up, Okay?

Wouldn't an association with

a penis negatively affect the

perception of the viewer's endowment?

Peanuts are small.

Not our nuts, Terry. Come on.

Plainview Nuts, they're huge.

You still there?

The rat's rabbits are calling.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

Oh, boy.

Ohh, boy.

Okay.

I'm not gonna lie to you, Dude.

You look just like a zombie.

Brains!

That's it.

Oh, my God.

You guys are gonna love this.

♪ When you've had enough of brains ♪

♪ And your throat's so dry it stings ♪

♪ Cast away your zombie chains ♪

♪ So you can drink Endeara Springs ♪

That is brilliant.

It's better than brilliant.

It's a slam dunk.

Holy shit.

No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!

No!

No!

Bottoms up.

Happy Birthday, Laurie.

Baby blue eyes for my baby.

Bless this vehicle.

It was a good vehicle.

It didn't deserve this.

May it rise again one day into eternal life.

That's one small step for man...

One giant leap for mankind.

Shit.

I really don't want to do this.

Oh, God.

Oh, Go..

Ah!

Aah!

Aah!

Let me see.

"Rat's rabbits are calling."

"The rat's rabbits are calling."

"Rat's rabbits are calling."

♪ Ladies and rabbits are calling ♪

♪ They're calling, yeah ♪

"The rat's rabbits are calling."

♪ Ladies and rabbits are calling ♪

♪ They're calling, yeah ♪

♪ Ladies and rabbits are calling ♪

♪ They're calling, yeah ♪

♪ Ladies and rabbits are calling ♪

♪ They're calling, yeah ♪

♪ And, oh, the rat's rabbits are calling ♪

♪ They're calling ♪

♪ And, oh, the rat's rabbits are calling ♪

♪ They're calling ♪

♪ Ladies and rabbits are calling ♪

♪ They're calling, yeah ♪

♪ Ladies and rabbits are calling ♪

♪ They're calling, yeah ♪

♪ Ladies and rabbits are calling ♪

♪ They're calling, yeah ♪

♪ Ladies and rabbits are calling ♪

♪ They're calling, yeah ♪

♪ And, oh, the rat's rabbits are calling ♪

♪ They're calling ♪

♪ And, oh, the rat's rabbits are calling ♪

♪ They're calling ♪

♪ They're calling ♪

♪ They're calling, yeah ♪

♪ They're calling, yeah ♪

♪ La da da da ♪

♪ La da da da ♪

♪ La da da da ♪

♪ La da da da ♪

Drier than I thought.

♪ They're calling ♪

♪ They're call... ♪

Whew!

Aah!

Okay.

I'm not a religious man.

I can see this as being born

again, born from the world into the... Into the world itself.

And there's something kind of

beautiful about that, even if I don't see it as a religious awakening.

Hold on.

Don't die.

Don't die.

Don't die.

Don't die.

Don't die.

Don't die.

Don't die.

Don't die.

Don't die.

Don't die.

Don't die.

Don't die.

Let's go.

Let's go.

Let's go.

Let's go.

Let's go.

Okay.

Aah!

Aah!

Aaaah!

Aaaaah!

Push!

Push!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aaaaaaah!

♪ It's crippling ♪

♪ Never really knowing ♪

♪ We're huddling where it's always nice ♪

♪ And plus there is a flame ♪

♪ A flame that should be hot ♪

♪ In spite of being small and being still ♪

♪ Following wherever you will ♪

♪ Look at them ♪

♪ They're sensitive ♪

♪ And they inch out ♪

♪ Look at them ♪

♪ And plus there is a flame ♪

♪ A flame that should be hot ♪

♪ In spite of being small and being still ♪

♪ Following wherever you will ♪

♪ Ladies and rabbits are calling ♪

♪ They're calling, yeah ♪

♪ Ladies and rabbits are calling ♪

♪ They're calling, yeah ♪

♪ Ladies and rabbits are calling ♪

♪ They're calling, yeah ♪

♪ Ladies and rabbits are calling ♪

♪ They're calling, yeah ♪

♪ And, oh, the rat's rabbits are calling ♪

♪ They're calling ♪

♪ and, oh, the rat's rabbits are calling ♪

♪ They're calling ♪

♪ Ladies and rabbits are calling ♪

♪ They're calling, yeah ♪

♪ Ladies and rabbits are calling ♪

♪ They're calling, yeah ♪

♪ Ladies and rabbits are calling ♪

♪ They're calling, yeah ♪

♪ Ladies and rabbits are calling ♪

♪ They're calling, yeah ♪

♪ And, oh, the rat's rabbits are calling ♪

♪ They're calling ♪

♪ And, oh, the rat's rabbits are calling ♪

♪ They're calling ♪

♪ They're calling ♪

♪ They're calling, yeah ♪