Original subtitles

Downloaded from YTS.MX

Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX

[woman] Once upon Christmas in the 21st century--

[man] No, no, no.

Once there was this French guy--me--

here in Mexico,

and he wanted to be a bullfighter.

[woman] Uh, well, let'’s--okay.

This French bullfighter

didn'’t know much about Christmas.

[man] It'’s not a Christmas story.

That'’s a very important part.

It'’s much, much more complicated.

It'’s about a man-- French guy--me--

[woman] Okay, well, obviously, you know the story.

You tell the story.

[man] No, no, do it,

but I think we are totally agree.

[woman] Okay, the story revolves around you,

so sure.

[woman clears throat]

Once there was a battle between good and evil.

[man] Yes, that'’s right.

It was terrible, and this French guy--

oh, yeah, it'’s more about--

[woman] Oh, okay, we'’re not gonna-- tell the story.

[man] No, no, I think it'’s not--

[woman] Yes.

[man] Yes, yes, but, no,

it'’s much more complicated than that.

[woman] Okay, okay, just watch this.

[man] Okay, watch this.

[electronic whirring sounds]

[woman #2] ♪ Are you going

♪ to Scarborough Faire?

♪ Parsley, sage,

♪ rosemary, and thyme.

♪ Remember me

♪ to one who lives there.

♪ Once he was

♪ a true love of mine. ♪

Hey!

[lights thunking]

Ah.

[girl] Big French Jacques.

I just wanna see how big.

[screeching noises]

You want a real bull?

[snorting]

[giggles]

Like you always say,

if you love me, show me.

[rock music]

[man] ♪ I feel you.

♪ Your sun, it shines.

♪

♪ I feel you

♪ within my mind.

♪ You take me there.

I'’m not dead yet, pretty bull.

[man] ♪ The kingdom comes.

♪ You take me to Babylon.

Diablo!

[man] ♪ This is the morning of our love. ♪

No!

[girl grunts]

[man] ♪ This is the morning of our-- ♪

What happened?

[man] It'’s okay. It'’s okay.

[bull grunting]

I'’ll get help.

Daddy won'’t understand.

Go now.

[man] Hey, who turned on the goddamn lights?

I'’ll tell what happened.

Yeah, go now.

[metal clanking]

[man] Who let the damn bull out?

[indistinct voices]

[man] Oh, God damn it!

Mr. Cordobes!

Mr. Cordobes!

Mr. Cordobes!

Good boy.

Mr. Cordobes!

Your daughter!

[breathing heavily]

It'’s Laila.

[Cordobes] How'’d this happen?

Jacques.

Get the boys, and find him.

All right.

[Cordobes] Call a doctor.

[door creaking]

[gun cocks]

[gunshots]

[distant gunshot]

Jones.

Yeah.

Long time.

Need to see ya.

Yeah.

[light polka music]

[Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeerplaying]

♪

[woman] All right, everybody, and here we go.

Mary the Blaster is back.

[scattered applause]

All right.

Blast is the name, and Blast is the game.

Four days to Christmas, everyone.

Unbelievable.

And I have one of my favorites here:

Tony and the Desert Kings honkin'’ your way.

[scattered applause]

[O Come, All Ye Faithfulintro]

[music warbles]

Okay, don'’t stop dancing!

[people murmuring]

[cheers and applause]

[music resumes]

[record scratches]

All right, Christmas 2000, everybody sing with me.

[all] ♪ O come, all ye faithful,

♪ joyful and triumphant.

♪ O come, ye, O come, ye, to Bethlehem. ♪

[Mary'’s voice] Hail Mary, full of grace. The Lord is with thee.

Blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed is--

♪ Come and behold Him,

♪ born the king of angels.

[Mary] Joy to the world.

[all] ♪ O come, let us adore Him.

♪ O come, let us adore Him.

♪ O come, let us adore Him,

♪ Christ, the Lord. ♪

[fireworks crackling]

[cheers and whistles]

[fireworks whooshing]

[panting and coughing]

Which way? Which way? Which way?

[fireworks exploding]

Yeah.

Mary the Blast.

[whispering] You meant the world to me, Daddy.

What'’s that,baby?

You meant the world to me, Daddy.

[man] She'’s gone, sir.

Please.

[Mary humming]

Mary.

[humming stops]

Go to hell, Jacques.

I need your help, for real.

You--you got to take me

to the American border very quickly, please.

[engine revving]

Man, trouble still follows you like a horny dog, doesn'’t it?

[Jacques] Oh, shit.

[Mary humming]

[men humming]

[chimes tinkling]

Hello?

Blaster.

Whew.

I know you.

You were up at Cordobes'’ last Easter.

You'’re Chollo, right?

Mm-hmm, that'’s right.

Well, Blaster, we'’re out here lookin'’ for a goddamn fool.

You, uh, seen any?

[chuckles] Come on, now.

I hate fools.

Yeah, well, this ain'’t any old fool.

This here'’s that flimsy little French fool, Jacques.

We heard he was headed this way.

[Mary] Yeah? What you want with him?

Oh, Mr. Cordobes would like to talk to him is all.

Mr. Cordobes?

You tell Mr. Cordobes

that if I bump into any fools,

especially French ones,

I'’ll give him a call.

While you'’re at it, uh,

why don'’t you give me a call too?

A little bit later.

I'’d like to show you what a man like me can do

to a, uh, girl like you.

Phone sex with a chainsaw doesn'’t turn me on, Chollo.

Yeah, well, I never quite knew

what the boss saw good in you anyhow, Blaster.

[kissing noises]

Come on.

[humming][whistling]

[engine revs]

Cordobes?

What are you,crazy?

That old skull, he'’s disgusting.

He scared me last Easter just looking at him.

Boy, did you ever mess with the wrong joker.

I don'’t understand what'’s happened.

I was just playing at bullfighting at Cordobes'’ place,

and next, I don'’t know.

Laila let Diablo out.

That kid, Laila?

She turned that killer on you?

She said, "Like you always say,

if you love me, show me."

W-w-w-wait a second.

You were courting Cordobes'’ kid?

And you used that dumb phony line on her?

Mary, it was a real bull, understand?

And the bull turned

and gored her.

Would I make that up?

I don'’t think she was hurt too bad.

No.

And she told me to run.

It was not my idea.

She told me!

[chuckles]

Amazing.

[sighs]

You'’re always the victim.

[man] From the book of Wisdom, chapter 3, verses 1 through 9.

"The souls of the just are in the hand of God,

"and no torment shall touch them.

[car engine revs]

"They seemed, in the view of the foolish, to be dead,

but they are in peace."

St. Paul'’s first letter to Corinthians,

chapter 15, verses 51 through 57.

"Behold,

"I tell you a mystery.

"We shall not all fall asleep,

"but we shall be changed in an instant,

"in the blink of an eye,

"at the last trumpet,

"for this which is corruptible

"must clothe itself with incorruptibility,

"and that which is mortal

"must clothe itself with immortability.

"Then it shall be brought to pass

the saying that is written"--

[door creaking]

♪ I said-a, "Hey, ho, and that-- ♪

[man] "And where, O death"--

Thank you, Padre.

Amen.

I ain'’t seen my old partner in 15 years.

Ring, ring, he calls me,

only to invite me to a funeral.

That'’s my daughter, Jones.

[sighs]

Sorry, I, uh--

I mean, uh, what happened?

Last night,

gored by the bull.

Doesn'’t make any sense.

Scared to death of that bull.

I believe she was pushed or baited.

She is--she was-- she is beautiful.

So was her mama.

We lost her a long time ago.

When Allison died,

I said I'’d spoil her.

I probably did a little bit.

But she had the devilin her.

She was doing things behind my back.

I'’m so goddamn tired.

I'’m sorry

that it got this bad.

Anything you need...

I need your talent.

I fill you in on that son of a bitch.

You just track him

and bring him back to me.

You got it.

[Cordobes muttering]

Look out.

[coyote howling]

[static hissing]

[Mary yawning] Yeah, the radio doesn'’t work all the time.

Aw.

[woman] ♪ And an angel'’s kiss-- ♪

Ah, Summer Wine.

This song is a poem.

[laughing]

[singing along] ♪ Summer wine is really made for all these things. ♪

[clapping rhythmically]

♪

[singing along] ♪ I walked in town

♪ on silver spurs that jingled to-- ♪

[both chuckling]

Come on, sing.

I don'’t know the line after.

[laughing]

[humming]

[man] ♪ She saw my silver spurs--

[Mary] ♪ And helped me pass the time-- ♪

Da-da-da-da-da-da.

♪ And I will give to you-- ♪

[both] ♪ Summer wine.

♪ Ooh-ooh, ooh, summer wine. ♪

[Mary] But I'’m dropping you in El Paso.

I'’m gonna have to make a stop.

I got a gig up in San Miguel tomorrow night,

and I am not missing it.

[van creaking]

[groans]

[woman] ♪ My summer wine is...

Would you let me see your arm?

[woman] ♪ ...made from all these things. ♪

Ay!

[groans] Oh, that'’s infected.

Okay, you need stitches.

You'’re nothing but trouble.

Uh, there'’s a doctor up in San Miguel, I think.

[phone beeping]

If this thing doesn'’t keep cutting off.

[woman] ♪ Summer wine. ♪

[explosion rumbling]

What was that?

[booming and whooshing sounds]

[woman] Jacques?

Your planet, Earth.

The universal evil is encircling pure good.

You must wake up!

That'’s why the Messiah comes now--comes now.

The Messiah will arrive in precisely 72 hours.

An extinctor comes to hunt down and kill the Messiah!

You, Jacques, must prevent this.

I'’m always helping you.

This is your last chance.

[sizzling sound]

You'’ll meet a soldier who waits to give you a book.

Check your wound next time.

You'’ll see what is real.

[horn blaring]

[Mary] Jacques!

Jacques!

Jacques! Jacques!

Jacques! Jacques, wake up!

Wake up!

Jacques!

[tires squealing]

[metal clanking]

Did you hear that?

Hear what?

The bell.

How the hell?

How the---

Gomez?

How the hell did we get here?

Where--what, did I sleep all night?

[breathing heavily]

We'’re 300 miles from where we started.

Come on, guy, this is Christmastimes.

I want to see Santa Claus is Coming to Town.

[water dripping]

Check your wound next time.

Mary, maybe the most--

Maybe I am taking a shower...alone.

Out!

Jacques.

[sighs]

Just go to sleep.

You have to rest until we get your arm fixed.

No, my arm, it'’s different now.

Did you get the big picture here?

I shower, and you sleep.

Then we go find a doctor.

All right? Now, get out.

Touch.

What'’s wrong with this?

Nothing.

Nothing.

What I thought.

Just checking.

When you finish your shower,

no doctor needed.

Got to keep going through to San Miguel.

[mellow reggae music]

♪

You okay?

Can I see your arm again?

You want to talk about your arm?

Well, what'’s up with that?

What, is it the shower? Did I piss you off?

No, no, you'’re helping me. Thanks.

You know, we'’re gonna be locked up in this tin can

for the next couple of days.

You might as well spit it out.

[man singing in Spanish]

♪

I had a vision.

An angel lady spoke to me

about protecting the future world.

Shit!

[tires squealing]

Would somebody like to tell me why I'’m saving his crazy ass?

Hey, remember that big light?

Hitting us off the road?

I remember you driving straight into that 18-wheel truck.

No, no, before that, when we were singing.

Singin'’?Yeah.

Then bam! There she was.

Angel lady.

She said I'’m on a mission.

Mm-hmm.

Protecting some Messiah guy from the underworld.

But she'’ll be helping me.

Okay, Jacques--No, no, let me finish.

Anyway, I don'’t think I start this mission

till tomorrow night

because that'’s when the Messiah comes.

Hmm.

You doin'’ a lot of drugs, Jacques?

Talking to her was as real as talking to you now.

Really?

Actually, more real.

What?

You'’re--you're fighting me about this?

You?

But you believe in all these things.

You know, um, how do you say that in English?

Religion stuff.

Religion stuff?

Right.

Okay, there'’s one thing I don'’t get, Jacques.

You don'’t believe in God, right?

You have never set foot in a church.

Right?

And...

you'’re a pagan loser.

So this mission...

why you, Jacques, huh?

Why you?

Maybe I need this shot.

She said this is my last chance.

For redemption,I guess.

Jacques, you got no chance.

And no angels talk to jerks.

Angels don'’t like jerks.

So who fixed my arm?

Maybe it wasn'’t as bad as it seemed.

♪

[tires squeal]

♪

[sirens wailing]

Jones, get your fuckin'’ ass in gear!

We'’re running behind!

[eerie music]

Daddy?

[tires squealing]

[sirens wailing]

They'’re gone for now.

[Cordobes] Laila.

I miss you, Daddy.

Will you do your little girl a favor?

Come with me.[giggling]

[man grunting]

[gasping]

[man] This can'’t be real.

No?

Did you think maybe it'’s the movie?

Know what I say?

I say, if the movie don'’t have Elvis in it,

it ain'’t worth a damn.

[Laila] They can'’t see or hear you, Daddy.

[piano keys play discordantly]

A little, uh, thinkin'’ music for ya.

[snaps fingers]

[plays discordant glissando]

[playing Chopsticks]

Jones, you lying son of a bitch.

He got caught in the vault.

He jumped into the vault.

He shoot to protect himself.

Couldn'’t get the money.

Had to run out.

[shouting] Lying son of a bitch!

I had to show you,Daddy.

Give him some air.

Now, you know, it only takes telling me eight little numbers,

and he'’ll breathe.

Elvis, huh?

I'’m beggin' you.

[Jones] You'’re what?

Tell me numbers.

[cackling]

You laughin'’?

Laughin'’ at my Elvis piano playin'’?

[shouts] No! No!

[keys banging]

[sighs]

[Chopstickscontinues]

I'’ll, uh, give him some air.

[gunshot]

[whimpering]

Sweet air.

No. Goddamn you!

[grunting]

[groaning]

[plastic whooshing]

No.

8-6-7...

Come on.

Give me the rest of it.

Unh!

Come on.

Uh--

[sighs]

8-6-7-5-3-0-9-1.

Gee, thank you, Colonel.

Ah!

No!

[grunts]

[humming]

8-6-7-- ah, God damn it.

8-6-7-5-what?

[man] 3-0-9-1.

Appreciate that.

Look at that sneaky little son of a bitch.

Money in the safe belonged to Ronnie the Dog.

The cops were supposed to get it,

get a kickback.

You rotten, dirty, little wormy son of a bitch.

If I'’d have known at the time,

I'’d have blown a goddamn hole in his ass a mile wide,

given the money back to Ronnie the Dog,

and never have to go to Mexico.

You'’ve been running 17 years,

my whole life.

Ah, baby.

Obliged to you all.

Thank you for a fine performance.

No.

And now the fat lady sings.

[man screams] No!

[gunshots]

[wheezing]

[gunshots]

[gurgling]

[Laila] Jones wasn'’t true to you then.

He'’s not true to you now.

[cell phone ringing]

Yeah, Jones.

Hey, you know this girl they nicknamed Mary the Blast?

Some kind of road-running DJ?

Yeah, yeah, I know her.

Met her last Easter at bull testing. Why?

Well, the target'’s with her

on the road to San Miguel.

Oh, really?

[Jones] Uh-huh.

Do nothing till I get there.

[Jones] Hummah-hummah.

Love it when you try to control Elvis.

I'’ve played this searching game.

And you know I run the fucking game.

I won'’t lose the beat.

Off to San Miguel.

Right, meet you in San Miguel, High Noon Cantina,

today at sunset, E.

[kisses]

[engine revs]

[sentimental accordion music]

♪

[whistling]

[horn honks]

[chuckles] Maria.

Blaster, my heart.

[chuckling]

It'’s been too long.

But you'’re right on time.

[whooshing sound]

♪

Who'’s he?

He'’s just a hitch I picked up.

♪

So I'’m settin' up?

The usual spot.

Near the church of St. Michael.

Anything you need, come get from my store.

Okay.

Send your...

hitch friend.

Got a thing going with the blind man, huh?

[chuckles]

He'’s only half blind.

You jealous, Jacques?

Outta my way.

You know, Father Ramirez,

he started these small-town Christmas linkups

back in the '’60s with my uncle.

Here?

Better make it fast.

We got to be set up by sunset.

There'’s laws against this slavery shit, woman, okay?

Oh, that'’s right.

You'’re my little Frenchy slave boy

till we get to El Paso.

[scoffs]

[menacing music]

♪

Viva...Las Vegas.

I used to help him out on my school breaks,

and then I took over when he died.

I said viva...

[breathes deeply]

Las Vegas.

♪

♪ The target'’s now-- ♪

[humming]

♪ down by the church-ahhh.

♪

[Cordobes] I used to wish I could sing.

Now I wish you could.

Ain'’t you proud?

I sing better than you, daddio.

How are the boys?

I got '’em all gunned up, ready...

outside.

None for me.

Huh?

Bad innards.

[sighs]

[sniffs]

To revenge.

[slurping]

[sighs]

Come on.

Get into it.

I never thought I'’d see the, uh--

the old maestro upset over an old rumble.

Like the million other crazy shit times

we hit for Ronnie the Dog.

Ronnie the Dog.

Different time.

I was a different cat.

Different cat?

Nobody changes that much.

Her name was Allison.

[sighs]

You made me what I am.

I'’m grateful.

I never asked you to kill anybody ever.

Remember?

Oh, I don'’t forget.

I listen.

You call the tunes.

Me, I--

I just jump when you whistle.

I never asked you to kill anybody, all right?

[snickers]

Now, tell me how you feel about that.

How I feel?

How I feel.

Ahhh.

That'’s how the fuck I feel.

I don'’t.

You taught me.

Remember?

Aha!

Oh, beautiful.

Ha-ha, Blast time.

I think we broke a setup record today.

You wanna be my roadie?

[child] Wait for me!

I don'’t understand why you break your back here in nowhere,

when you'’re making good money in Texas as a teacher.

[Mary] It'’s for them,

the music and fun,

light up the God path to Christmas.

And maybe it'’s for me too, my own secret life.

[cat yowling]

What the hell?

[Jacques] Easy, I know these guys.

Just jerk-offs, wannabes.

Jacques, those aren'’t wannabe guns.

[rock guitar music]

♪

[glass shatters]

[man laughing]

♪ I'’m definitely in the house. ♪

♪

♪ I'’ll rip your head off, ♪

♪ and I'’m-a defecate down your neck. ♪

♪ You better aléjate because I don'’t give a heck. ♪

♪ Can'’t understand how I kicks my lingo. ♪

♪ You better stop that

♪ '’cause here comes the crazy gringo in your face. ♪

[machine gun fire]

[Mary screaming]

♪ I can'’t understand why you can'’t be your own man. ♪

♪ People try to get with the style I got. ♪

♪ Don'’t you know I'm doin'’ it without coke or pot? ♪

♪ I'’m naturally kind of fucked up like that. ♪

[man] Whoo! Look out; look out.

Ah, at last.

It'’s music to my soul.

[machine gun fire]

Mm, you remember

back when you stuck that gun in that Chinese grocer'’s mouth?

Do you remember?

And the guy, he almost creamed his pants.

And you turned to his wife and his kids,

and you said,

"They shouldn'’t look up to a man who wouldn'’t pay his debts."

[machine gun firing]

Now, what you taught me--

fear will get you whatever you desire.

Nothing magical about fear.

Easiest fucking thingto get.

[sighs]

[exhaling quietly]

[distant shouting]

[gun clicks]

[both grunting]

[machine gun fire]

I don'’t recognize you.

I mean, is this the Good Samaritan, you know?

Who the fuck are you?

Oh, that'’s a good question.

[distant choral music]

[glass shattering]

The door, you could use the door.

Do you have guns, bullets?

Oh, no guns here.

This is a church store.

We sell cleanliness.

Cleanliness?

Cleanliness is next to godliness.

[distant machine gun fire]

Ohhhh...

you...

Jacques.

Deus vault.

Ohhh.

Later, Father.

He'’s holier.

Such an honor

for a knight Templar.

I'’ve been waiting for you all my life.

Who are you?

No time.

Here, in the bottom panel,

for you,

something handed down from knight to knight.

Yes, I know the second I saw you.

You can'’t see. You are blind.

But I knew you were him,

the soldier.

It is written!

[chortling]

[whistling]

Putos, ven pa'’ acá.

Down!

iFeliz Navidad!

[gunshots]

[both speaking Spanish]

The soldier.

[men chanting]

[guns cocking]

[man] Uno, dos, tres!

[machine gun fire]

Acaba con ésta.

[men laughing]

[Ramirez] Here is written...

in the book

your destiny.

You must watch her well.

[machine gun fire]

The book.

Hey!

Whoo-hoo.

Don'’t see him? No?

I want him.

[whistles]

Jacques, Jacques, Jacques, Jacques, pretty Jacques.

Ohhh.

Oh, Jacques.

[whistles]

[motor revs]

[men groaning and coughing]

[shouting] Crazy, stop this!

[Chollo] Bonjour, Jacques Strap.

Now!

Laila didn'’t tell you?

Laila'’s dead.

That'’s right.

Yep.

[tires skidding]

And so are you.

Jacques!

♪

Run to me!

[fuse hissing]

[rocket firing]

Go! To me!

Ohhh!

Remember the bank job in upstate New York?

Remember that?

Those bankers?

[creaking sounds]

[man] ♪ La unión hace la fuerza,♪

♪ el respeto ayuda♪

♪ a salvar diferencias que a menudo ensucian.♪

Mary, stop! Stop! Stop!

[man] ♪ Para hacerse avalancha arrasando al paso.♪

[shouting]

♪ En el fin del siglo la esperanza proclama♪

♪ que los hombres protejan a esta tierra sagrada♪

♪ donde el diablo a metido♪

♪ tantas veces la cola,♪

♪ ya es tiempo, latinos,♪

♪ de ordenar las cosas juntos!♪

Laila will tell you what to do.

[Laila] Daddy? Daddy?

[woman] So you'’ve come back after all these years,

and Ronnie the Dog is still mad as hell.

You and Anderson took my money from the manager'’s safe.

Why?

I sent you fuckheads to the bank

to cover with the robbery

so that the cops could pick up my money,

take their cut, and bring it to me.

That was the plan.

Remember?

Yeah, but see,

Anderson'’s plan was to rip you.

He took your money--

not my game, man.

Don'’t make me dead.

Don'’t make me fuckin'’ dead.

[woman]But now

you started war between me and the cops

when you turned that bank into a bullet festival.

[man] No!

[gunshot]

[woman] Then you dicks disappeared.

Jones, get your fuckin'’ ass in gear!

Yeah, after 15 years, he calls me.

He'’s changed his name to Cordobes.

Down in Mexico.

An address?

It ain'’t worth shit to Ronnie.

It'’s like air.

You inhale, but you don'’t get high,

so what'’s the point?

What if...

what if I make Anderson dead?

[Laila] What you gonna do now, Daddy?

Jones.

Leave it lay.

[gasps]

Leave it lay.

What'’s up?

Wha--

You stopped by, uh,

Ronnie the Dog'’s church spot.

You tried to sell me.

No.

No, I wouldn'’t do that to you.

I-I love ya, like I love myself.

Aw, Jones, you'’re my boy.

My boy, Jones, yes.

Hey, look...

did you ever see this old French movie?

This French piano player--

I don'’t want to hear your bullshit, Jones.

I got a story for ya.

Uh-huh.

It starts in the east.

Uh-huh.

A bad bank job goes sour.

And I have to take off.

[low piano notes]

If it means anything to me.

Seven months pregnant.

We have to run away from New York.

Now, Allison loved New York.

And when she found out

that she couldn'’t ever go back,

it broke her heart.

[low piano notes]

And she just stopped.

Stopped talking.

Stopped eating.

Stopped everything.

♪

Turned into...

skin and bones...

and went into a coma.

I'’ll never forget.

♪

That morning,

when she died...

it snowed.

In the desert, snow...

like a...

New York...

wintry day.

You stole my life.

You stole my life.

Sorry, big daddy.

Oh, shit.

[gun clicking]

[whimpering]

Just kiddin'’.

I was just kiddin'’.

Well, all kiddin'’ aside, Jones--

[gunshots]

[as Elvis] Thank you very much.

Allison...

this one'’s for you.

[gunshot]

[bells jingling]

It'’s not like I planned Laila, you know?

It'’s just, I'’m an idiot.

I took one look at her,

and all I could think about was getting her.

But she was more woman than you think, you know?

[snickers]

[scoffs]

She was not just a little rich girl.

Oh, brother.

What the hell do you know about women anyway?

I know women, okay?

Oh, okay.

So you remember the first night we met?

Yeah, at Cordobes'’ place last Easter, right?

Right.

Well, I guess you know so much about women,

then I guess you noticed

the second that you walked into that corral,

I picked you.

Meaning what?

Meaning--well, obviously you don'’t know this.

But I picked you to pick me up.

Get it?

What did you say?

Just forget it.

[tires popping]

[yells]

[tires skidding]

[Mary] Jacques?

Jacques?

You okay?

Jacques, you all right?

Yeah, I'’m okay. I'’m okay.

Oh, my Lord.

Four flats.

Four flats!

Never happens.

This is not even remotely possible.

Could I quote you on that?

[harp glissando]

My necklace.

And I want you to get the girl with Jacques too.

The girl has nothing to do with this.

Remember when you beat up that guy

who slapped me for totaling his '’68 Mustang?

You promised me then that you'’d do anything for me,

even die.

You promised.

Mm-mm.

You forget?

We could be together forever, Daddy,

if you'’d just finish this for me.

I...

Let'’s dance.

I'’m serious.

It'’ll keep us warm. Come on.

I'’m not a good dancer.

Neither am I.

[woman] ♪ Cold and bitter--

[Mary] So how'’d you get out here anyway?

I was in Australia.

Some guy showed me how to walk the edge,

you know, of the big reef,

surfing under the stars with night vision goggles.

Unbelievable.

Unthinkable.

Never felt something like that before.

So you learned how to feel and not think, huh?

[laughs]

[woman] ♪ We all need your favor.

♪ Your people--

Uh...

[woman] ♪ A savior.

[both snickering]

And then this guy from California

sends me on the ultimate thrill,

the top of the top.

Staring into the eyes of a bull

just before punching the espada into his neck.

So I end up here.

[whispering] Running for your life.

Oh, yeah, it'’s a high.

Maybe...

climbing the Rocky Mountains naked could beat it.

[woman] ♪ Messiana.

♪ Messiana.

You'’re standing on my toes.

[woman] ♪ Messiana, won'’t you come down? ♪

♪ Won'’t you come down? ♪

♪ Are we the children, or are we the lost? ♪

♪ Building a fortress without any cost. ♪

♪ Will we be redeemed?

♪ Are we what we seem?

♪ Messiana, won'’t you come down? ♪

Jacques.

Mmm?

Would you say you love me?

Go on.

Say anything.

I'’ll take my chances.

Yeah, okay, I do.

Wha--

Could you at least say it like you mean it?

You know, like...

[sighs]

Well, like the Bee Gees would.

I love you from my heart.

I don'’t know why I treat you bad.

I'’m stupid.

[woman] ♪ Messiana.

Boy, are you a smooth talker.

But honest.

I got something I want to show you.

[woman] ♪ Messiana.

♪ Messiana. ♪

[Jacques] Something very strange happened before Father Ramirez died.

He gave me this book.

It'’s an illuminated book.

"And the last of the knights of the temple of Solomon

"will vanquish the demons.

And the restless souls will wander the universe."

[gasping]

[Jacques] He said he'’s been keeping it for me.

It'’s been passed from knight to knight for a long time.

Fa-Father Ramirez was dying, Jacques.

You know, he was-- he was--

um, he was probably speaking in tongues, you know.

Okay, okay.

You couldn'’t see a miracle even if it'’s happened to you.

I stop to talk with you.

[pages rustling]

Is this a miracle?

Huh?

[sword shinging]

Jacques?

That'’s you.

[Jacques] It'’s a soldier.

Father Ramirez kept calling me the soldier.

But it'’s not me.

I run away all the time. That'’s all I do.

Jacques, kiss me.

[gagging]

What, Mary?

[retching]

Oh, God, why did I do that?

I don'’t know why I did that.

[fire roaring]

She'’s the angel lady.

Tomorrow night,

in precisely 24 hours,

you will give birth to the Messiah.

What are you doing to me?

[woman] Do not be afraid.

Jacques, you have to move faster.

She'’s too close to preventing the prophesy.

He will kill you if he can.

Wait, wait. Excuse me.

Excuse me. Question.

You said you'’re always helping me, right?

And now you tell me I'’m not gonna make it?

[crying]

Okay, we'’re cold sober, no drugs, no hallucination.

Everything is fine.

[sobbing]

So now...

you believe me?

I'’m pregnant.

Mary...

I'’ll take care of you.

Jacques, you don'’t even know

if you'’re going to be alive tomorrow.

Why are you doing this to me?

Why are you putting me through this?

I want to know.

You know I tried going straight once.

You know that.

But you weren'’t there.

You'’re never there...

when people need you the most.

You took the only thing that meant anything to me.

Wasn'’t that enough?

Now you take little Laila?

I don'’t think you ever existed.

Say something.

[Laila] I know where they are.

If we are lucky,

we can find some diner for Christmas turkey somewhere.

You feel okay?

Jacques, I don'’t think I can walk anymore.

My feet and my hands are all swollen up.

No problem.

Take a seat.

What are you do--

no, no, please don'’t.

My feet stink, Jacques.

Better now?

How'’s the baby inside?

I think I need tomatoes.

I remember my mother,

she told me that, um, Dr. Spock,

he said that pregnant women are supposed to eat tomatoes

when it'’s over 90 degrees in the shade, you know, so...

Jacques, what if it'’s dying?

What if it'’s dying?

Nobody'’s dying, okay?

Maybe we can flag downa plane.

[engine backfires]

[man laughing heartily]

Is that real?

[man shouting]

Much nicer than a mirage.

Hey, hey!

Whoa! Whoa!

[shouting indistinctly]

[laughing hysterically]

[gunshots]

Cordobes.

[Mary] Jacques!

I beg your pardon.

[Mary] It'’s kicking.

The baby'’s kicking hard!

[Jacques] Get down.

No guns, Jacques.

[Jacques] A guardian angel left it.

[gunshots]

[tires skidding]

Hold on.

[gunshots]

[Mary screaming]

[groans]

What?

What?

I think the contractions have started.

Huh?

No, no, it can'’t be right.

It is too early.

It'’s--it's-- it'’s not possible.

Oh, impossible? Yeah?

Everything since I woke up two days ago is impossible.

Oh!

[engine revving]

[harp glissando]

Run them down.

No, no.

I want to see the look in Jacques'’ eyes

when I pull the trigger.

[giggles] Yes, Daddy.

[giggling]

Damn it!

Hey, angel!

You said you'’re always helping me.

Fuck I am supposed to do?

[Laila] Gas.

[woman] Jacques, use the soldier'’s book.

Mary, get the book!

[gunshots]

[screaming]

What am I looking for?

Anything about traveling or cars.

[Mary] This isn'’t an Oldsmobile manual, all right?

[Jacques] Okay.

How to travel in time or in space.

God damn it!

[gasping]

[spits]

[angrily] Sit there.

Jacques, do something, please.

[garbled voices on radio]

[organ music grinds down]

Yes, that'’s what we did.

Mary, sing with me.

Close your eyes, and block everything out.

Just listen to the tune.

I hate this song. It'’s stupid.

Do it! Do it!

Just do it, okay? Deep and slow.

[groans] ♪ Should have married me.

Okay.

Keep concentrating on the rhythm,

just the rhythm.

♪

[woman on radio] ♪ You used to run away when you saw a road-- ♪

Right, what, hold on.

♪ Instead, you should'’ve married me. ♪

♪ Instead, you should'’ve married me. ♪

♪

♪ Instead of Elaine.

♪

♪ Instead of Elaine. ♪

[Mary groans]

Jacques.

Mary, is the baby okay?

Yeah.

The book'’s gone.

But...

I guess the book worked.

It'’s a strange place to end up.

It'’s underground.

Huh?

It'’s my parents' weird apartment building.

I just--I don'’t see their Volvo.

[chuckles]

That is the smell of turkey.

Turkey never smelled better.

Oh, it'’s a note from my brother.

It says, um,

that they'’re at midnight mass

and to forget about getting the cranberry sauce.

They'’ll just go to the store after church.

No cranberry, I like this kind of problem.

So no key?

I have a plan.

[doorbell rings]

Feliz Navidad, Mrs. Martinez.

Oh, so good to see you.

Uh, this is my friend Jacques.

Do you still have my parents'’ key by any chance?

[Mary] Gracias.

Et voilà.

This is it.

[laughs]

Cute.

You rest,

and I'’ll wash up,okay?

Okay.

I'’ll just watch your tree grow.

That'’s my favorite activity.

[whispering] Jacques, I love you.

[glass shattering]

Mary?

[cocks gun]

Mary?

[door rattles]

Shit.

What the fuck are you doing here?

Hi, I'’m Jacques.

You'’re a jock?

No, I'’m Jacques, French.

I'’m French,

Mary'’s boyfriend--

I mean, husband, but we are not married yet and--

these Volvo keys?

[tires squealing]

Cordobes!

Let her go!

This is between you and me.

Bastard.

[gunshot]

[Jacques groans]

[Mary whimpering]

Jacques.

[electronic whirring]

[gunshot]

[Mary screams]

Jacques?

[Mary crying]

[Jacques] Mary, get away!

[Mary] I can'’t!

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

[Laila] Shoot her.

Now.

[growling]

[calliope music]

God damn you!

It'’s her...

No!

Or me.

[Cordobes grunting]

No!

[gunshot]

[Mary] No! Jacques.

Son of a bitch!

Kill the baby.

♪

[shouting] Who are you?

Oh!

Careful.

No, Daddy, it'’s me.

Your little girl.

Shut the door!

[Laila] Daddy.

You meant the world to me, Daddy.

You meant the world to me, Daddy.

[Mary groaning loudly]

Jacques, don'’t leave me!

Don'’t leave me!

Somebody help me.

[Mary sobbing]

Somebody, please--

[gunshot]

[gunshots]

Why'’d you want this?

No wife.

No daughter.

No peace.

Go to Mary.

She needs you, Jacques.

Where were you?

Helping me?

You'’re alive.

What about him?

Like the Romans said,

"At the center of all things, there are tears."

Demasiado corazón.

Too much heart.

Or hate.

Too much hate.

I keep reaching,

but I can'’t touch him.

I can'’t.

Allison.

Yes.

Don'’t leave me.

No, my love.

Your love?

My husband.

[sizzling noise]

Go.

We must go and save Laila.

[baby cooing]

Come and say hello.

She won'’t bite.

It'’s a she?

Why not?

Uh, I just thought, uh--

okay.

Hello.

Hello.

What should I call her?

Her Majesty?

[snickering]

I call her "pumpkin."

Pumpkin?

Mm-hmm.

Oh, so, Pumpkins,

you are not a dream, huh?

[baby crying]

Now the real troublebegins.

[both chuckle]

Pumpkins.

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