Original subtitles

(ominous music)

- I've cracked the case.

Detective Robert Calhoun is the copycat.

So I took a leaf out of Melissa's book

and started gathering evidence and mind-fucking him.

- Why the fuck is this guy in here?

- He got suspicious.

(gunshot)

But couldn't prove it,

thanks to the piece of shit cell phone Melissa gave me.

Wheelchair Wendy was still a loose end,

so Melissa encouraged me to do what I do best.

(screaming)

And I've got to admit,

it was nice having her watch my genius plan unfold.

When Melissa asked.

- What was all that about?

- I explained time had come to frame Robert the copycat

as the Christchurch Carver.

Bonus was, Wendy had excellent taste in fish.

Welcome back, boys.

The cellie has been lurking more than usual,

but the plan is in place.

Pity it's just gone tits up.

(dramatic music)

- I fucking knew it was you.

- What if I make it worse?

(groaning)

- Sally speaking.

Sorry?

(dramatic music)

- Sorry, what's his blood pressure?

And his heart rate?

I'll meet you at the hospital.

(dramatic music)

(car engine roaring)

(groaning)

- Never any doubt, fucked hard.

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

- If you think this is a tough ride, Bob,

wait till I get you upstairs.

(dramatic music)

(groaning)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

(thudding)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

- Hey, sleepyhead.

Nice nap?

You can't do this.

- Hey, save the denials.

An innocent man would have come here

with his colleagues instead of all this.

- Oh.

You've made a mistake.

An innocent man wouldn't have turned his cell phone off

before coming here.

- Hey, Joey, listen to me.

I'm sorry that I need you in the balls, okay?

I shouldn't have done that,

but whatever the fuck you think you're doing here--

- Save it.

That's somebody that wants to meet you.

Hold that for me, would you?

Detective?

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

(door slams)

- Pickle?

What?

I should have known you'd try to come back.

Where's Jehovah?

(cat meows)

You.

(cat meows)

(cat meows)

Aren't you a good boy, Karma?

I mean, good girl.

Come on.

- Right now, appreciate if you deposit your weapon.

- And if I don't?

(gun fires)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

- You've reached the Crashage Carver tip line.

- I have some information for Detective Schroeder.

- If you'd like to tell me what it is,

I'll pass it along.

- I need to speak to Schroeder directly.

- That's not how it works, sir.

Now, what is the information you have?

- He's the one in the newspapers, not you.

Do you wanna catch the Carver or not?

(dramatic music)

- Schroeder?

- T7, speaker?

- Yeah?

- There's a guy with info on the Carver.

He wants you.

- That's okay, put him through.

- Is this Schroeder?

- Yep.

- And what do you know?

Perfect timing.

- You sure about this?

- No.

The fact that the caller didn't mention tarot cards

gives me hope.

- We should tell Stephen.

- Why?

So she can tell me I can't do that either?

- No, so you can put uniforms on.

- Look, they all have to be followed up, Bex.

- Yeah, I know, but there's--

- Plus, I need a fresh air.

- Happy hunting.

(dramatic music)

(door creaking)

(dramatic music)

- Nobody will care that Melissa's sketch

doesn't line up with Calhoun,

or that dental records won't match

the bite marks on the apples.

This parking ticket will trump all of that.

It's the final nail.

- Yeah, whatever, go for it.

- Thank you.

- Oh, Jesus.

- I think someone's fucking with us.

- Possibly.

(dramatic music)

Or maybe not.

(dramatic music)

- Come on, Trotter, you're almost there.

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

- Anything yet from Travis?

- No, still waiting, you?

- Number that called in the knife

was a phone booth in town.

Officers there are asking around,

but as yet, no one's seen anything.

- There's a reward on the line.

I'd give you bloody details.

- Maybe they'll call in if it pans out.

- What time did he say that these prints were ready?

- Fuck it, I'll call them.

- You got something?

- Yeah.

You're not gonna like it.

Don't forget to check the pockets.

(dramatic music)

- You miss me?

(dramatic music)

Ooh.

What's that smell?

Did you piss your pants?

You just stay quiet, Detective,

and I promise you can walk out of here alive.

Some people have no class.

Melissa.

(dramatic music)

- Get it? - Got it.

(water splashing)

(dramatic music)

(water splashing)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

- Clear. - Clear.

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

- Bingo!

- A hundred bucks, she says.

- Honey, I'm home.

- Bingo.

We're upstairs.

- So this is the cop?

- He admitted it.

- Hmm.

People will admit a lot of things

if you have a knife to their throat.

- Trust me, it's him.

- Why'd you pin Daniela's murder on Joe?

- The Christchurch carver killed...

(dramatic music)

- It can't be you.

- Oh, it's him, cop.

Get your head around it.

So did you decide to frame him before

or after you killed her?

- You've been watching us this entire--

- Hey!

Don't talk to him when I'm the one asking you questions.

- I didn't kill anybody.

Jesus.

Joe, hey, hey.

Wait.

We're gonna need a bucket.

- Get those hair.

We do not need a bucket.

- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, listen, hey.

Wait, no, no, no, wait!

After, okay?

After, after.

Shit.

Look, what happened?

It was an accident, okay?

- Is that a thing, detective?

Killing people by accident?

- That's not what I meant.

- What'd you mean?

- And you can start by telling us why you chose her.

- What?

I didn't choose her.

I just, look, we met, okay?

It's the way the world works.

People meet all the time.

- And some prefer to stalk.

Where?

- At a barbecue at Schroeder's house.

- He invited her?

- Yeah, he invited a lot of people.

- Didn't invite me, the prick.

- She came with her husband,

and within a couple of minutes,

I could tell that she was afraid of him.

- Oh, that's a pretty big assumption.

- Yeah, well, I've been in the game a long time.

- So then what happened?

- A few days later, I came here.

I told her if she wanted to talk, I would listen.

- If she wanted to talk to anyone,

she would have spoken to Schroeder?

- No, it doesn't work that way.

Look, most of the time,

it's easier for people to open up to a stranger.

- Is that like opening up a stranger?

- I gave her my number.

I said if she wanted to call, she could,

and a few weeks later, she called, saying

she wanted my help to leave him.

- Help yourself, more like.

- No, you're wrong.

Look, she asked me to come over here, all right?

And by the time I got here, she'd had a few drinks.

She'd changed her mind.

I don't even remember who kissed who,

but we kissed, okay, and then...

- And then?

- She accused me of using the situation

to try and get her into bed, which is bullshit,

but she got angry and things got out of control.

- Things often do.

You had her.

- Yeah.

Look, I didn't mean to, okay,

but she was yelling at me.

She was screaming.

She was gonna tell everyone that I was gonna lose my job.

- Fuck.

- If she'd just calmed down and listened to me,

we could have talked it through, but...

- Instead, she stabbed you with a pen.

- I'm sorry that I killed her, okay?

I fucking am, but...

It was an accident, okay?

I swear to God.

- Is that why you think you're here?

- Isn't it?

- I don't care that you killed her.

We're here because you framed me for it.

- That's not why I'm here.

(dramatic music)

I'm here for Melissa.

- What?

- Does the name Melissa Flowers mean anything to you?

- No.

Oh my God.

You're her sister.

- One day she was here, and the next day she wasn't,

and it was all thanks to one of your colleagues.

- Hey, hey, that shit had nothing to do with me, okay?

What the fuck is going on here?

- Tell him.

- Melissa Flowers, there was an allegation

that she was raped and killed by a police officer, but...

- It was a detective and it wasn't an allegation.

It was a fact.

- A case was being built.

- Oh, shit.

- No, it was, but these things take time,

and then he disappeared.

Oh, fuck.

- Hmm?

- What?

It was you.

- Hmm.

- What was her?

He disappeared, we thought that he'd run, but...

Fuck.

- He was my first.

- Hey, wait, wait, listen to me.

No, no, no, fuck, please.

- Kill him.

- No, no, please.

Joel, no, no, no, no, no, listen to me.

Please.

- This one's yours.

- What?

Joel.

- Hey, please.

- Joel, don't, please.

- No, no, please.

- Hey, listen to me, hey.

Joel, Joel, please.

Joel, no, no.

(Joel grunting)

(Joel grunting)

(Joel panting)

(soft music)

- Oh, that was fun.

- Who's next?

- Next?

- Yeah, there's always gonna be a next, Joel.

Let's meet after you clean this up.

- Where?

- In a park, midnight.

Don't be late, babe.

- Fucking doing this bullshit.

I'll show you what a Joe thing is, babe.

(Joel grunting)

- Wait a minute, Joe.

Every cop in the city will be looking for Calhoun's car.

Well, aren't you pretty?

(upbeat music)

I love window shopping.

(car engine revving)

(car engine revving)

(Joel grunting)

(car engine revving)

(car engine revving)

(knocking)

(suspenseful music)

- Detective Kent?

- I'm sorry, Sally, you're gonna have to come with us.

(suspenseful music)

(Sally grunting)

(suspenseful music)

(Sally grunting)

- Say hi to Daniela Walker for me.

Fucked hard.

Good luck digging this up, Karma.

(suspenseful music)

(suspenseful music)

- I'm sorry to hear about your father.

- The doctor said he's gonna be fine.

Why am I here?

- Do you recognize this?

- A parking ticket?

- Yeah, it's got your fingerprints on it.

- I haven't used a parking ticket in months.

- Yeah, and when was that?

- I don't remember, it could have been longer than that.

- Okay, but this has still got your fingerprints on it.

Take a closer look.

- What is this, Carl?

Do I, do I need a lawyer?

- That parking ticket belongs to a car

that was found today in long-term parking.

- Well, I've never used long-term parking.

- There was a body found in the boot of that car.

At some point between that body being left there

and now, you've picked up that ticket.

- I've never seen this ticket in my life, I swear.

- Fingerprints don't lie, Sally.

- Nor do I.

- No, no you don't.

That's why you're here.

We think you might have picked it up

and moved it without knowing.

- I suppose that's possible.

- Good, great.

So, we're hoping together we can just figure this all out.

- Have you helped Detective Carhoon with anything lately?

- Like what?

- Well, anything.

Could be here at work, his house.

- I mean, maybe something at work,

but people are always asking me to do things.

- Have you ever been in his car or socialised with him?

(eerie music)

- What is it?

- I don't know.

- Sally?

- I think Detective Carhoon might be hurting him.

- Hurting who?

(cat meows)

- Sally?

You remember something, don't you?

(eerie music)

(cat meows)

(Sally sighs)

(eerie music)

(lighter clicks)

- See you on the other side.

(dramatic music)

(lighter clicks)

- Whoa.

You look nice.

I'm sensing a vibe.

- No vibe at all.

- You're about to fuck me, aren't you?

- Not at all.

(eerie music)

- What's your real name?

- Why, so you can use it in an "it's not you,

it's me" speech?

- It's an us speech.

- What is going on, Joe?

- Just trying to figure out what happened to your sister.

(eerie music)

- The same thing that happened to Daniella Walker.

A cop took an interest in her.

- And then you killed him and it felt good.

- Once you open that door,

there's no going back, it's like you ascend.

People aren't people anymore, they're prey.

- Is that what I am to you?

- No.

I'm starting to think that's what I am to you.

(lighter clicks)

You are fucking me.

- Open it.

- You open it.

(eerie music)

- The fuck is that?

- It's you killing Calhoun.

Why don't you take it home and watch it?

- On what?

It's not the 90s.

Fuck, fuck!

God damn it.

You really are the Scorpion, aren't you?

- I can't have you going to the police

because you wake up one day

either bored or pissed off with me.

So consider this a romantic gesture.

- How's that?

- 'Cause now we're even.

Fresh start.

- Together?

- If that's what you'd like.

(laughs)

- I can't believe I fell for something so--

- Simple.

- Archaic.

(sucks in air)

- I'm impressed.

And a little bit turned on.

What are you waiting for?

(screams)

(upbeat music)

(grunting)

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Just be careful.

- Oh, fucking--

- Oh, God!

- Are you gonna be like this the whole time?

(screams)

♪ Churches ♪

♪ Townships with churches ♪

♪ I'm counting bibles ♪

♪ Counting you ♪

- What about him?

♪ With cathedrals ♪

- What about him?

♪ Cities with cathedrals ♪

♪ Stained glass windows ♪

(grunting)

♪ Christchurch ♪

♪ And Castle Street are the whites ♪

- What about David?

♪ And the city where we live ♪

♪ Together, together, together ♪

♪ Wonder, wonder, wonder ♪

(screams)

- Archaic, stop!

- Archaic, stop!

- No, no, no, stop!

(dramatic music)

(sighs)

(sighs)

- Becky was right.

There really is somebody for everybody.

But how do you love the woman who terrifies you to death?

The woman who brings meaning to your life,

but who at any moment can end it?

Is that part of the attraction?

I've never had these feelings before.

I don't know what the future holds,

but I do know I'd be sad if I had to kill her.

(dramatic music)

- Hopefully it won't come to that.

But what does the future with Melissa look like?

Do we move in together?

Do we have cheese on toast for lunch

and break into people's homes in the evenings?

She said there was always going to be a next,

but a next who?

More cops?

And what happens if she gets mad at me?

Do I sleep with one eye open

and her with a pair of pliers beneath her pillow?

We're like everybody else who starts a new relationship,

entering the great unknown.

And more than anything, that's what Melissa is,

a great unknown, much like my mother.

(knocking)

- Joe!

- Hey, Mum.

- What's wrong?

Has something happened?

- I just came to say hi.

- Oh, well, it's wonderful to see you.

Even if you didn't call first, come on.

You're lucky you got me, honey.

Got home a few minutes ago.

- Oh, from the grocery store?

- No, Joe, you do know I do other things

than just shop for groceries, don't you?

- I know, Mum.

- But I did go shopping and I bought you something.

- A new phone?

It's a thank you for bringing Walt into my life.

Listen, Joe, I know you probably have questions

about Walt and myself, and when he's out of hospital,

we can all sit down and you can ask us anything you want.

- I'm fine.

- Your father's been gone for years.

And I'm not marrying Walt tomorrow,

if that's what you're worried about,

and nobody is asking you to call him Dad.

- I'm happy for you, Mum.

Actually, I have some news too.

- You've also met somebody.

- I have.

Her name is Melissa, for all I know.

She's wonderful.

In fact, she's coming over to my house this evening.

- Is she the woman who came around here a few days ago?

She was exactly the kind of good Christian woman

I've always imagined you with.

- I know that's the Sally from work.

She's just a friend who I need to pay a visit to.

Or I guess that's we now.

- I'm not sure what my friends will think.

- Sorry?

- They've always thought I was being so brave

by accepting you for who you were,

especially considering your father.

- What about him?

- Well, they always suspected his lifestyle

would have messed you up, if not his suicide,

but maybe they were wrong.

(ominous music)

- Dad?

(ominous music)

- They were wrong, Mum.

Dad dying didn't mess me up at all.

- Doesn't mean they won't think I was being so brave,

which is a shame, don't you think?

- Maybe that's what they'll say at your funeral.

She wasn't as brave as we thought.

(ominous music)

- Mum?

I have something for you.

I found it in the driveway.

(somber music)

(somber music)

- Before I met Melissa,

I was happy being the Christchurch carver,

but I really think I can be a better man

being Joe the Romeo.

This crazy mixed up world has taken it upon itself

to find me true love, to find me companionship.

I've lost two fish, gained two fish, and a cat,

but there's something even better.

I have a woman who gets me.

The possibilities for my future are endless.

The Sally.

Well, this'll save me and Melissa a trip later.

(ominous music)

- Oh my God, you're okay.

I'm so relieved, Joe.

- What the fuck is she doing here?

- Uh, stand down, everyone stand down.

- You need to stop lying to me, Joe.

- What are you talking about?

- The police came to see me.

- The police?

- They found something in your apartment

that belonged to Detective Calhoun.

What was it, Joe?

You know you can trust me, right?

And they won't tell me what's going on,

and I haven't been allowed back at work since.

- What are you talking about?

- Well, I know you didn't want me to say anything,

but I had to, and I had to tell them that someone hurt you.

And I told them that I thought

that it was Detective Calhoun because I--

- Fuck.

- I saw you meet him at that house, Joe.

- What the fuck have you done, Sally?

- All units, go, go, go, go.

(dramatic music)

- What are you doing?

- Shut the fuck up, Sally.

(sirens blaring)

- Hold her, don't shoot.

Don't shoot.

- I should have shot you the moment

you turned up with the fucking tuna sandwich.

- I always knew this day might come,

but why today of all days?

- No one needs to get hurt, all right?

We'll just have a few questions,

and then we can all be on our way.

- You guys really must believe I'm an idiot.

- Look, just--

- Back up, Schroeder.

- You know I can't do that.

Look, just let Sally go,

and we can talk about this like reasonable men.

- There's nothing reasonable about this, Schroeder.

- Come on, Joe.

Hey, you know me.

Look, I just want the best for everyone here, that's all.

(somber music)

- Joe, if there's no getting out of this, you know that, eh?

- He's wrong about that.

From day one, there's always been a plan B.

It's a cliche, but things are cliches for a reason.

- Joe!

- Get back, Sally.

- Don't do it, Joe.

I'm the one who decides who lives and dies,

not these assholes.

Christ, life really is like Romeo and Juliet.

- No!

- Joe!

- No!

(gun firing)

(somber music)

(siren blaring)

(siren blaring)

(siren blaring)

(somber music)

- Didn't wanna believe it.

I really liked you, Joe, and I stuck up for you.

You're fucking lucky Sally saved you.

- I am.

Praise Jesus.

(rock music)

- Hey, buddy.

(horn honking)

(siren blaring)

- I'm coming for you, Joe.

(siren blaring)

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(chimes tinkling)

(dramatic music)

(whooshing)

(whooshing)