All language subtitles for TheMonocledMutineer_4_ADeadManOnLeave_engx

I've got a name for you, you know.

You're not the only one.

A special name.

Late at night, when I'm thinking of you,
when inevitably you're not there,

you're not Johnny Walker to me.

I'm Gordon's Gin.

No.

You're sometimes.

My Mr Sometimes.

I was going to call you
Mr One-weekend-in-five,

plus-the-odd-unexpected-Tuesday-night
if-I'm-really-lucky.

- But I...
- Go down well in high society.

"And who shall I say is calling, sir?"

I've never been invited
inside your house.

All this time,
and every daft excuse under the sun.

I'm not complaining.
But I haven't, so don't start on me.

All right.

But don't go. Please don't go this time.

Whatever the reasons. Do you hear me?

Actually, it's funny
you should say that.

I've just found out
I have to go to London.

Why?

There's a by-election in Southwark.
Labour are expected to win.

(PERCY CHUCKLES)

What will you do
after you've been to London?

Come back and see you. I won't be long.

Not this time.

There may not be anybody there
to pay the bill.

- It's 6:00 in the morning.
- That's not a problem.

But I... I haven't...

I paid it. Last night.

You're married, aren't you?

No. No, I'm not married.

I just wish it was as difficult as that.

Don't forget, I will see you. Soon.

Dog. Woof! Woof!

(GROWLING)

(SNARLING)

(STRIKES MATCH)

Don't you push me around! Get off!
Get off me!

MAN: Hey, what's going on?
What's going on?

(BOTH SHOUTING)

Pack it in, you daft bitch!

Hey, missus!

- Mary!
- Leave her alone! Leave her alone!

Get off me!

Listen, my girl!
So far I've been sodding polite to you.

MAN: Mary, look. Come on now.

WOMAN: You're a right pair!
ANNIE: Percy!

Percy!

WOMAN: Get in there
and make a cup of tea. Go on.

- What is the matter there?
- Oh, the usual.

Mary Turner's husband went to war
and when he come back,

Kitty Harrison's got his job.

Ah, there's a lot of it about.

In fact, I'd go so far as to say
it's an epidemic.

(FRANK COUGHING)

Blimey.

It's the lungs, isn't it?
It's the bloody coal.

Some fancy name they come up with now.
It just means your lungs are buggered.

- So what will you do?
- I don't know.

Well, I was thinking
of sailing around the world.

Me and the Aga Khan.

- But Douglas Fairbanks stepped in.
- (CHUCKLING) I know.

Still, it's not so bad, though.
He's leaving me Mary Pickford.

She's upstairs now.

Anyroad, where you been, Captain?
Long time no see.

I had a war to win, Uncle Frank.

The bloody war?
It has been over nigh on a year.

Aye, I know.
Bloody country couldn't do without me.

I kept saying to old Haig,
Lloyd George, I said, "Gentlemen,

"me Auntie Annie and me Uncle Frank,
they'll been missing me." But...

Mother's been missing thee.

How could she?
Never even noticed me when I were there.

You'd have had to call me Johnnie Walker
and distil me first.

- She's been poorly.
- What, another bad fall, was it?

Late at night, down the steps
at the old Dog and Garter?

She's near blind and all on her own.

Oh, you took me in, Auntie Annie,
you know why.

Listen, I may not have been
much of a son to you,

with one thing and another,
but you're the only parents I ever had.

(FRANK COUGHS)

Now, you look after yourself.

He'll be up in a minute, Mary.

(WHEEZING)

- How is he, really?
- As bad as can be expected.

He'll not work again.

I suppose there's lots of younger men
could say the same

with unemployment as it is, but...

Well, at least they can get about,
they can breathe.

- So, he don't get out much?
- Not at all.

Then he won't be needing his bike, then,
will he, Auntie Annie?

Do you mean the bike he bought
to replace the one you stole?

The very one.

Well, it's a...

It's an improvement, I suppose.
At least you asked this time.

- I was gonna sell it.
- Yeah, I was gonna buy it.

No, just as soon as...

Times are hard, Annie.

No, you see,
this wartime companion of mine,

I just found out he's made good.

Now, I predicted as much meself,
so I was gonna cycle down to London,

share in his good fortune for a while.

I'm in love now as well.

Oh, aye?
And what have you stolen off her?

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

Oh, go on. Get off with you.

I'll see thee next time
you want something.

Go on, take the bike.
Send us the money when you can.

But on one condition.

Look, I ain't seen me mum proper
in 13 years. Why now?

Because she's your mum. Your proper mum.

I'm gonna go and get the bike.

(WOMAN SINGING)

# With nothing to mar our joy

# There would be such
wonderful things to do

# I would... #

There's someone there.

Who is it? Come on.

I can feel the cold. The door's open.

Is it you, Annie?

Annie?

Who are you? You a man?

Oh, Mrs Toplis, isn't it?

- Who are you? There's nothing here.
- I'm a doctor. Dr Walker.

Doctor? I didn't send for a doctor.
I can't afford a doctor.

No, no, no, no. It's free.
This one's free. It's a free visit.

I'm new around here, you see.
I'm trying to drum up some business.

- Is medicine free?
- Well, no, it isn't.

Just as well. Otherwise
you'd be bankrupt with me alone.

Well, come on in, then, lad,
and shut the door.

(PERCY CLEARS THROAT)

Now...

- Any complaints?
- I don't like the man next door.

- Health complaints, Mrs Toplis.
- It is a health complaint.

He makes me sick!

Now, your sister-in-law, Mrs...

- Webster, Annie Webster.
- Yes, Annie Webster.

Now, she says
that you haven't been at all well.

- Where's your stethoscope?
- I think we can save that for now.

Oh, oh. Till I have to pay for its use.

Now, just tell me, how have you been?

Well...

Well, me eyes are gone.

And me bowels are all buggered up.

But I can't afford the medicine,
so don't bother.

(LAUGHS)

Oh, is that a...
What do you call it, up there?

- A monocle? Yes, yes, it is.
- Mmm.

I took one in the eye during the war.
Shrapnel.

Been a bit dicky since.

My son was in the war.

He was a hero.

- That's him up there on the mantelpiece.
- What a strange place to sit.

(SPLUTTERS)

(LAUGHING)

Ah, a captain by the look of him.

Yes, he's dead now.

Well, come on, then.
At least you can feel me pulse.

Tell me something.

This boy of yours, how did he die,
Mrs Toplis?

Oh, very bravely. Very bravely indeed.

(SIGHS)

If you stay down on your knees
holding me hand much longer, young man,

I'll take it as a proposal of marriage.

- It is a fine pulse, Mrs...
- Toplis.

Yeah, see you through the winter,
that will.

I hope so. I'm 43, you know.

Don't you want to know that
for your records?

The next time. The next time.

- Oh? Is that it?
- Yes, it certainly is.

Good job it were free, then.

Are you sure I don't know you, lad?

Absolutely.

I've just arrived here
and I'll just be going.

- Hey, how much do you charge, then?
- Standard rate.

Mmm.

- Gin's cheaper.
- Yes, but is it wiser?

Nothing to live for, so does it matter?

God knows I've had nothing to live for
since me only boy died.

Goodbye, Mrs Toplis.

Dr Walker?

- Long way.
- Yeah.

Luton will do me.
Heard there's work in Luton.

That's all there'll be.

(GUN FIRING)

MAN: Mark my bird.
Do you see it, George?

(DOG BARKING)

MAN: Over there, I think.

(DOG BARKING)

Hey, I hope it's dead.
Its beak's right up my arse.

(CHUCKLES)

Aye. Two leg wounds, one medal,
no job when I come home.

That's why I'm here.
The wife's going loopy.

It's understandable.
It's the least I could do for her, kids.

You got anyone, Lawrence?
Family and that?

I found someone. I really...

You know.

- What's her name?
- Dorothy.

She's had money in her time.
I've got to get some.

What do you reckon?

Well, I reckon if it gets any smaller,
we'll be eating wood pigeon.

If there's nothing for me in Luton,
I'm re-enlisting, bad as it is.

- What, till there's another war?
- There won't be another war.

That was the Great War.
There won't be any more.

- Not like that.
- Yeah, course there won't.

Not till the next madman or king
or capitalist says so.

Not till the next
financial or national crisis.

Not till.

It's all right.
I was thinking of re-enlisting meself.

After all, it could be years
before we're cannon fodder again.

You're not one of them socialists,
are you?

No.

I used to know one once.

- Mmm.
- Hey, she's all right.

Have you ever wondered
what it tastes like

when them rich bastards
in their manor houses have it?

Left to hang in a cellar for days,
roasted, spiced, sauce.

Saute potatoes.
Wine, silver, chandeliers.

Totally different.

Mmm. What does it taste like?

Shite.

Hmm.

- Come on. Let's eat.
- Oh, Annie.

My boy.

I don't believe it.

And they marched, brothers.

They marched not for money,
nor for jobs,

nor against the wealthy
or for fear of the workhouse,

but they marched in bitter remembrance
of Armistice Day.

Just a year gone by and so, already,

have the hopes and dreams
of those returning heroes.

(CROWD MURMURS)

And if you were there, as I was there,
you will know the numbers.

And you will know that 10,000 marched.

And you will also know

that the capitalist newspapers
never saw fit to print that news.

News of 10,000 men, and more,

coming out of the grey mist
of a November morning

approaching the Cenotaph,

the wail of the fifes
from the marching bands,

the measured tread of tramping men,

their war medals
hanging from red banners

and pawn tickets pinned to their coats,

a silent indictment of a system
which praises the dead

and condemns the living to starvation.

ALL: Hear, hear!

And at the head of that procession
they carried a large wreath

with an inscription that read,

"From the living victims,
the unemployed,

"to our dead comrades who died in vain."

And they lay that wreath
where all the other wreaths lay,

and, yes, they played the dead march
and then Auld Lang Syne,

but, my God, I tell you this,

we finished off with the Red Flag
and the Internationale.

And then,

with quickened step, the living heroes
passed out of Whitehall

on their way back
to their cold and hungry homes.

And brothers and sisters,

my Conservative
and so-called Liberal opponents,

and every Conservative newspaper
in the land asks,

"Why all this unrest?
Why these protests?

"What ails the common workers?"

And I will tell you
what I will tell them

when I am voted into Parliament
on your behalf.

I will tell of those
who laid down their lives

for a land fit for heroes.

MAN: You tell them.

I will tell of the two million
unemployed in this land fit for heroes.

ALL: Aye!

I will tell of the poverty and the slums
where there should not be

one hungry mouth to feed
in this land fit for heroes.

MAN: Yeah!

And I will demand changes.

I will demand them in the name
of working-class solidarity

against the capitalist warmongers
and profiteers.

And only then,

only then will we have
a land fit for heroes.

(ALL CHEERING)

(BAND PLAYING)

Hello, stranger.

Percy! By Christ, man.

Brother, surely.

What are you doing here? How are you?

- John, this man... This man...
- No, look. Look, not tonight, really.

Don't talk of me
in a land fit for heroes.

Just give me 10 minutes,
somewhere, alone.

Of course.

We've got every exit covered, sir.
But what about his men around him?

Two of them are mine.

- So what was wrong with the other rooms?
- Oh, you know me, Charles.

Always like to have an option,
way in, way out. It's a habit of mine.

- Are you running?
- No. I play the odd game of football.

(CHUCKLES)

- What happened to the stammer?
- Oh, I made it go away.

- And I paid someone to make it go away.
- That's a very sound policy.

- So what have you been doing?
- Sweet FA. Struggling.

What else is there to do,
except save mankind?

- And you're already doing that.
- You could join me.

No. No, thanks.
No, the decency of it would kill me.

All right.

- But what do you want?
- £100, Charles.

Pardon?

Granted.

Off me?

Why?

Because you're somebody now
and you can stand it.

And because I'm in debt and I'm in love.

I wouldn't have thought
the latter was possible.

I don't want your philosophy.
I want your money.

And what happens if I don't?

I do something
really, really despicable.

- You would, as well, wouldn't you?
- Course I would, if you say so.

But, Percy, don't you realise?

Can't you see
I would have given it to you?

All you had to do was ask
and I would have given it to you.

Why didn't you?

Because life's not like that, Strange.

You will accept a cheque, won't you?

Oh, come on, Charles.
You know I trust you.

This is goodbye, isn't it?

Believe me, I shall never darken
your destiny ever again.

You were very good in there, you know.

In fact, you were great. A great man.

You even had me convinced.

Almost.

Perce.

You pacifists are all the same.

All right! All right.

- It's not him.
- Well, who is it, then?

- I'm the caretaker.
- Sorry about that.

We just can't be too...
Who did that to you?

Some bastard socialist.

- What's going on?
- Police business.

And none of your business,
so make sure it stays that way.

- Just take a walk, eh? A long one.
- Bournemouth and back. Now.

MAN: He's coming.

There he is.

(ALL TALKING AT ONCE)

(WOMAN SCREAMS)

WOMAN: Here! Here,
this is supposed to be a free country!

(ALL CLAMOURING)

MAN: Out of the way, please.

WOMAN: You can't do that!

You were very impressive at the meeting.

- So I've been told.
- Very noble.

The references to war heroes,
the Cenotaph.

"Comrades who died in vain in the war."

A moving tribute.

It's all going exceptionally well,
really, isn't it?

Already there's considerable speculation
you're gonna win.

- That's up to the people who vote.
- Not entirely, fortunately.

- Meaning?
- Oh, well,

people can be influenced,
opinions can be changed.

Past events can be recalled. Revealed.

Made public.

So I'm afraid you're going to have to
withdraw from this election

and disappear from public life.

That is a generous offer.

I've been told to tell you that
if you'd have proved difficult about it,

the alternatives would be
far more damaging.

In all honesty, I do think my masters
are being exceptionally decent.

Tell me,

have you seen him on your travels?

During your war years, perhaps?

How long have my two colleagues
been working for you?

Since before they worked for you.
Sad story, isn't it?

- Have you seen this man?
- And who do you work for?

Oh, come on, play the white man.
I asked first.

Never seen him before in my life.
Who do you work for?

Liar.

- I'm employed by the government.
- Not the Tory party.

And what if there was
a socialist government?

I don't deal in dreams.

No.

Just in nightmares.

It's registered.

Mmm. Who do we owe?

- Frank...
- What is this?

(CHUCKLING)

Come on, Edwin, take the floor.
Take some praise, tell all.

Stand up, young man.

Stand up and receive
our most gracious...

Oh. I see you are already standing.

(ALL CHUCKLING)

Oh, I didn't mean to be...

- That's quite all right, Sir Jordan.
- Good, good.

Well, gentlemen... And remember, Edwin,

people like you are preserving
the very fabric of decent society.

The Telegraph said as much
only this morning.

(ALL CHUCKLING)

Uh, Top...

Toplis, Percy.

Yes, that's the chap.

I was at Woolwich
with Andrew Thomson, you know.

Fine man, gentleman.

I'm glad to be part of this exercise,
I can tell you.

We'll get him. Won't we, Edwin?

A long walk? Slow drive?

A cold picnic?

- It could snow.
- Yes, it could.

It'd be lovely if it did.

Cheer up, Johnny.

This is the quietest you've been
since I've known you.

Come on, mystery man.

You always have a story,
always have an answer.

Different clothes, different names,
different cars.

You turned up on a pushbike one weekend.

Yes, I couldn't get any petrol.
Dorothy, please! Don't ask questions.

I'll only tell you lies.

You think you've got
the copyright on lies?

One or two of them.

- Not on mine.
- Don't...

Yes, I will.

What about my lies, Johnny? You know.

You know that
your high society Nottingham lady,

friend of the Duke of Portland,
is not the lady she pretends to be.

You know that.

You played burglar in my empty house
and you still won't talk about it.

- I'll go now.
- No, you listen to me. Listen, you...

You dog. I don't want you
going away again.

I want you to stay with me.
I want you to live with me.

Sometimes isn't enough any more.
I want all the time.

I want that...

That boy that's there in you,
behind that...

That thug's embrace.

- That what?
- That...

Let me...

I want to show you where I was born
and why I chose this hotel.

Johnny...

Johnny, I was born in the next village.

Geography's never interested me,
Dorothy.

When you went to London,
something happened.

What was it? What's gone wrong?

Do you think...

Listen, when I came back from France...

When I came back and everything...
Everything was the way it was, worse.

But that's how it is.
That's how people's lives are.

That's how people's lives
are made to be, miserable, desperate.

But me, I thought,

"No. They won't get me
because I don't care."

But what happens if you do care?

I feel like an old man.

I feel like a dead man on leave.

Why do I feel like this
at the age of 21?

Twen...

You're 21?

- Twenty-bloody-one?
- Yes.

Oh, my God.

So, I lied.

Oh, God. God. God, you're 21?

You don't tell anybody else about this.

Are you listening to me?
Are you listening to me?

Yes, I'm listening to you.
And I'm taking you out.

So long as you don't take me away.

Oh, stop it.

Stop it.

PERCY: You lived there?
DOROTHY: Mmm-hmm.

Most of me life.

See? I was never worth a bean, Johnny.

And the man I married had more nerve
and style, but even less money than me.

We were staying
with the Duke of Portland

and he fell downstairs
in the dead of night and broke his neck.

They said it was the drink
and the darkness.

But it wasn't.

It was burglary?

Yes.

When I first saw you I thought,
"Aye, aye."

- With a car, the house.
- Oh.

I thought I could well do with that.

- I'd well do with your money.
- I didn't have any.

Yes, I know. I know that now.

Well, remember, I saw an officer
and a gentleman and a wit and a card.

I thought you had money.

Yeah, well...

No, but I couldn't let you keep me.
That's why I was away so much.

Trying keep meself from you
and all that.

Oh, Christ.

- Press the horn.
- No!

Don't. Don't. It's a trap.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

(CAR HORN HONKING)

Unless you're wanted dead or alive
by the deaf and dumb society,

I suggest you get up off the floor.

(CAR HORN HONKING)

There's a few things
you should know about me.

And not before time.

(HORN HONKING)

It says here it was suicide.
Been drinking heavily.

It wasn't suicide!

He wouldn't take anyone else's life,
so he's not gonna take his own.

Oh, he loved... He cared.

He was a decent man.

I laughed at him for it
and they murdered him because of it.

You don't know that, Johnny.
Please, can we drive on the road?

They arrested him.

Now, I've looked in the papers all week.
Nothing. Not a word.

But Charles went into that van with him
and he had a gun,

so they weren't going
to the Savoy or the Ritz.

Are you sure it was the same person?

I saw his face when he took
the stranger. It was him.

He was there in front,
he was after us then and he still is.

All 3'7" of him.

And the problem is, my dear,
I think it's me he really wants.

You don't know The Mountains of Mourne,
do you?

# Let the great big world keep turning

# Never mind if I've got you

# For I only know that I want you so

# And there's no one else who will do

# Let the great big world
keep on turning round

# Now I've found someone

# Like you #

- How do you feel now?
- Cold.

I'm all right.

You've just seen too much, Johnny.

All your generation saw too much.

No, some of them didn't see enough.

And I'm going back in.

Yeah, I am. Safety in numbers.

Somehow I know where I am in there.

But out here, recently...

Sell the car, get a few bob,
and then I'll come good again.

Or bad.

- I just can't get his face out of...
- Well, of course you can't.

Not yet. You will.

Must be like...

Well, you talked to me about ghosts
a long time ago

when I was lying about my husband.

- It's as if you're seeing a ghost.
- Or the future.

No, Johnny.

No!

Oh, come on, you cocky little...

No, not little. Oh, my God, not little.

You big boy.

Big, handsome, warm, generous,
dirty, filthy, don't-caring Johnny.

Or Percy. Or Tom, Dick or Harry.

And lover and son and father.

Mmm.

Father, forgive me.

- For I know not what I do.
- Father?

Yeah, I think so.

There. That'll take your mind
off things.

It is. It's him. Bloody hell, Harry.

Pint, please.

I'll pay for that.

No, you won't.

Who you looking at? Eh?

I got a message for you.
Someone wants to meet you.

Well, you tell "someone" I'm here.

Well, he wants to meet you in private.

Tell him I prefer public meetings.

I also prefer drinking on me own.

Hey, sorry about that. No offence meant.

Don't mind me, boys.

- But this is for you.
- No, it's all right. You have it.

- I know you.
- Fancy that.

Where's the rest of my hut?

I sent them away. They'll be back later.

- But I know you.
- So?

We've met before.

I'm sorry. I've had such a varied life.

I thought you might not recognise me.
Not like this. Not like I am now.

Oh, I see.
You were someone different at the time.

Perhaps we met in another life,
who knows?

Perhaps you were Napoleon,
I was Wellington.

Yeah. It's coming back to me now.

There we were at Waterloo,
train was late. Stop pissing about.

You might remember me more like this.

I kept it as a souvenir
of that day in Etaples.

I was right. It was another life.

Oh, come on, Percy. You're with friends.

- Now you've really got me worried.
- Look, we all know. But it's all right.

- You were a hero that day.
- No, I wasn't a hero.

Oh, relax. You're with me.
I'm Tommy Turner. I run everything here.

Everything worth running,
if you follow my meaning.

You just tell me what you want
and I'll arrange it.

If it's mine to give you, Percy,
you can have it.

I want you to forget Percy Toplis
for a start.

I signed up here as Johnny Walker
and that's me name.

(CHUCKLES) I'll drink to that.

- I want a gun.
- I've got one. You can have mine.

I want me own. A good one. Webley VI.

You'll have it tonight.

And I want to make a lot of money. Fast.

A lot of money fast. You see?
Told you you'd like him.

Know anything about petrol, Percy?
Johnny.

Yeah, it makes motor cars go.
I drank a lot of it in France.

You're going to know
a lot more about it tomorrow.

Can I have
Goldilocks and the Three Bears?

(LAUGHS)

- Good gun, innit?
- Is it?

- Aren't you gonna look at it?
- No.

What do you want it for?

To kill people
that keep me awake at night.

Don't be like that.

What was it like over there?

I was too young to go, see.

What was it like killing someone?
You know, really killing him.

- Face to face.
- I wouldn't know.

- Oh, come on, Percy.
- My name is Johnny.

Oh, I wish I'd been there with you.
You're famous, you are.

Even before you came here,
I heard Tommy Turner talk about you.

You sat in that general's car,
didn't you? You on your own with him.

Bloody hell. And here I am now.
Me and Percy Toplis.

I'll break the habit of a lifetime
and murder you if you don't go away

- right now.
- SOLDIERS: Shut up!

And you mention Percy Toplis once more,
I'll tear you so far apart,

they'll bury you
in five different cemeteries.

You're a case, you are.
It's all right, I'll go now, hmm?

No offence meant.

Sorry about that.

Come on! Come on.

- Another full tank, Johnny?
- Remarkable, Tommy.

- So what do you need me for?
- Distribution, Johnny.

Haulage firms, bus services,
taxi companies,

all crying out for cut-price petrol.

This little racket
isn't little any more.

It needs someone like you

to add your considerable charm
and organisation to the proceedings.

- And what do I get out of it?
- Same as me.

Straight down the middle
with everything you handle.

Once we've made our donations
and deductions to unworthy causes,

such as Harry here.

Yeah, forgive my suspicions.

I'm not used to such generosity.

Oh, call it for old times' sake as well.

- You do remember me there, don't you?
- Totally, Tommy.

Well, to be honest with you,
the first minute I saw you.

No, it's me, you see.
I don't like to be recognised.

Sure. Sure.

And it's yours for the duration, Johnny.

You've got a meeting at 8:00
with a taxi driver

who's one of my contacts here.

- Sidney Spencer...
- Who's asking you?

Oh, he's the local hard case
and bigmouth.

If you can cope with him,
you can cope with anything.

Harry will be there.

And here's your pass
and a few quid for drinks.

Anything else you want?

Are you crazy?

I fell on my feet, Dorothy.
We both have.

Just go into the estate agent's office
this afternoon.

Tell him you want to rent it
with a view to purchase.

Use your very best
high-society Duke of Portland voice.

(IN UPPER CLASS VOICE) My good man,

- come here one moment, will you?
- Duchess!

- It's too dear.
- Then fill up at a petrol pump.

It's too dear for the chances I take.

And we think we sell it too cheaply
for the chances we take.

And not only that, I've been sold short
the last three times.

Ten gallons a time, that's all,
but that's not the point, is it?

Can you prove it, Mr Spencer?

I could probably convince
the proper authorities.

Now, there'd be nothing gained by that,
would there?

Another pint of bitter, is it?

Amazing what one little telephone call
would do...

And don't you soft-soap me.

Just don't let it happen again.

I've been brought in, Mr Spencer,

for exactly the sort of problem
you describe.

You see me, you deal with me,
and you'll be a satisfied man.

I'm acting for others, you know.
I've only got three taxis,

but there's over 20 lads
I'm representing.

Any shortages means
one of my cabs goes off the road.

I could see you were a man of principle.

Now, we're making a note of all this,
aren't we, Harry?

- 30 gallons is 30 gallons.
- And a pint's a pint.

They serve food in here, you know.

- You've had a visitor.
- What?

A visitor.

Someone was looking for you,
but he's gone now.

What was he like? Was he small?

Anything but. It's your friend and mine,
Sidney Spencer.

Well, why didn't you say so,
for crying out loud?

I was just having a bit of a laugh.

Well, anyway, he wants
to see you tonight. Usual place.

- Tommy says I should be there.
- All right.

But listen, anybody small ever comes
around here, really small,

funny-looking, sort of wavy hair,
but above all small,

you don't know me, all right?

Right. I won't forget that, Johnny.
Very small, wavy hair.

Tommy took a gun with him
every time he went to see Spencer.

You need to with Spencer.

He hit me once, Spencer did.

Broke two of my teeth there at the back.

I thought Tommy was gonna
pull his gun on him.

He didn't in the end.

I've got the same gun as you, you know.
Webley Mark VI.

I thought what's good enough for you
is good enough for me.

Shall I come with you, then?
Tommy says I should come with you.

I'd take that gun if I was you.

There's always a price, Dorothy.

Even the things you steal aren't free.

- Lf you keep making all this money...
- That's what keeps me going.

See out the rest of the winter,
get through the spring and the summer,

have the baby and then...

- One-way ticket.
- For three.

- First class.
- But of course.

What do I have to do
to prove myself to you?

Emigrate.

Now, when we get in, you sit in the back
and you don't say a word.

Anything you say, Johnny.

You're making a bloody fortune
out of me.

And I suppose you're starving?

Look, Sidney, it's three and six
a gallon at the pump.

You're getting it for two bob.

But at the moment,
you're getting it for bugger all.

I got the money and you'll get paid,
when the price is right.

That is the price.
There's nothing wrong with it.

- One and sixpence.
- I'd rather set fire to it first.

It's really lonely round here, isn't it?

And what's that got to do with anything?

Nothing. Just nothing. No offence meant.

Just lonely.

You'd get five years for this, you know.
If you were caught, five years.

- Minimum.
- Wrong, Sidney.

I wouldn't get five years
and I'm not going to get caught.

Then take one and six.
1,200 gallon, it's still £90.

- I worked it out.
- Wasted your time.

And by the way,
I think that's a pretty lousy trick,

you selling it to the other taxi drivers
for two and ninepence.

Don't you get clever with me, Walker.

It costs me one and threepence.

I'm charging you for this journey
as well, you know.

It's already near a quid.

One and six it is.
Pull up, pay us, let's get it over with.

You did say a shilling, didn't you?

(GUN COCKS)

Just give us the wallet.

I've got a gun.
Now give my friend your wallet or else.

Oh, Jesus Christ!

Sod off, you little worm.

Leave it!

- Let go!
- Stop!

(GUN FIRES)

(HARRY SCREAMING)

Oh, my God!

(HARRY SOBBING)

(SOBBING)

(GUN COCKS)

You killed somebody.

Not like in the comics, is it, Harry?

I thought...
I thought you wanted me to do it.

You what?

For £90 and some loose change?
Jesus! Jesus!

Don't hit me! I thought you'd be...

I did it for you, Percy.

You should have killed yourself, then.

God, I wish I could kill you.
I wish you'd try and kill me.

I wouldn't do... I wouldn't do that.

You already have.

You little arsehole!

An hour before, what happens?
There's two people in this cab.

And where are we?
Standing in the headlights.

We may as well have been carrying
placards with our names on them.

I've never done
anything like this before.

Shut up! Shut up, shut up!

- I've got to go to the toilet.
- Piss in the car!

I don't care. Go on, piss on his blood.
You pissed on his life!

You... You...

(TYRES SCREECHING)

(ENGINE STALLING)

(GUN FIRING)

(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

Johnny.

Johnny!

What is the point talking about it?

But if it had stayed the same, you...

Well, it's my fault!
If you'd never have met me and...

And if we hadn't have
had to come here...

If we hadn't have needed
the money so much...

No, no, no! That is not true!

It had to happen one day,
a dead man on leave.

- Remember...
- No! No.

Don't ever forget

if I hadn't have met you,
I'd have been dead all me life.

Dead-handsome, dead-clever, dead-smart,
but dead.

And I wouldn't have missed
being with you for anything.

- I'm coming with you!
- No, you're not!

You're not gonna be there, Dorothy.
Neither of you are.

Get out of the car.

Get out of the car!

Get out.

Pick me some flowers.

I don't want to give you flowers.

Well, just one, then.

No bouquets.

Just one flower for Johnny.

He shot him. Then he tried to shoot me.

He's killed lots of people.
He's wanted by the Secret Service.

You check up, he's wanted.

He's a real killer.
I'm lucky to be alive.

(BOY WHISPERING)

Do you think they're coming round, eh?

Reel in. That's it.

- That's good.
- Got it, got it, got it.

(PHONE RINGING)

Oh, quick, phone!

Hello.

Thank you, Tommy.

Yes?

(BANGING ON DOOR)

Who's there?

Who is it?

Upstairs! Quickly, quickly!

Who is it?

No, hold on.

On you go.

Good luck, Perce!

(WHISPERING)

MAN: It's all right, he's asleep.

Come on! Get up!

Don't turn round.

And no messing about
'cause I don't care.

(HUMMING)

(LAUGHING)

South. Anywhere south.

Excuse me, ma'am,
I'm a bit down on me...

You haven't got a cup of tea, have you?

Please?

- Alf?
- Aye.

Hey, Alf?

Aye, I'm coming. What do you want?

How do?

Hey, hold on a minute!

That's him! It's Toplis!

Hello?

Cooee!

Are you there?

Hello!

Cooee!

Yes?

You haven't seen me wife, have you?
I were looking.

Cooee!

Mary!

Mary!

That is the best yet!

Look! There she is, over there.

Cooee! Mary!

Are you there?

(ALF GROANING)

I'll get you, Toplis.
I'm coming after you.

Yes.

Mary.

Cooee!

- Come on, Bob!
- Right, sir.

(PHONE RINGING)

Hello? Inspector Ritchie.

OFFICER: He's still north of Penrith.

What? Well, when will he be back, then?

Have you tried Penrith?

- Never there when you want them.
- Come on, Bob.

Scotland Yard?

Ah, yes. My name is De Courcy Parry.
I'm the Chief Constable of Cumberland.

I know it's Sunday,
but this is with regard to Percy Toplis.

Thank you.

Now, pull the map down,
would you, Norman?

Hello?

- What is he doing?
- I don't know. Come here.

(BOTH GIGGLING)

Well, let's hope it won't come to that.

To be perfectly honest, I don't know
exactly how many guns we can get,

but we'll do our best.

Of course. Goodbye.

This Toplis character
must be very special.

They're sending up
a Secret Service chap.

I'm sure I can be
of some assistance, Father.

I suppose you could go up to Alston
and organise a roadblock.

That's miles away. He won't reach there.

Very well, then.

(PHONE RINGING)

Hello? Yes, Parry here.

Hello? Hello?

Inspector Ritchie?

Every gun you can find, Inspector,
and every man.

If you need cars, commandeer them.

Come on!

Never mind that!

You know it isn't my car!

- Get in the car!
- Wind it up.

Get in!

Stop! Stop!

Stop!

- My father said to join you chaps.
- What for?

- Are you sure?
- Yes!

Well, come on, then! Come on, move it!
Come on!

(HORN HONKING)

Come on! Come on! Come on!

Move it!

I'm sorry, sir, but it's just struck me.
I think we've just passed him!

Turn around! Stop! Turn around!

Come on. Come on.

This time.
This time, little man, this time.

Slow a tick. Slower. Get nearer to him.

What's the matter with you?

Stop!

Stop! I'm ordering you!

The only orders I take
are behind the bar!

Oh, God! I'm gonna die!

Go on!

- Come on, hurry up!
- Back up the road.

Come on!

Cooee. Mary.

- Who are those men that keep passing?
- I think they're just out for a joyride.

Oh. But why did...

Do you know anyone small?

- Do you?
- What?

I mean, how small?

You gave them the thumbs up.
What'd you do that for?

I know two of them.

My bike's broken down.
I thought they may be able to help.

PERCY: Here it comes.

Everything comes. Everything.

You're never ready for it,
though, are you?

The funny thing is, when I had
nothing to lose, I always won.

Push it, man! Put your foot down!

He looks small.

Got him.

Well, he'll never talk now.

Just finishing him off now, sir.

WOODHALL: Right, Inspector.
Bury it as soon as possible.

And no newspapermen.

(ALL MURMURING)

MAN: Go in, then.

Up!

Whoa!

Get that.

Now, up!

Right, in.

All right, open the door. Right.

They've all gone now, sir.

You don't have to say too much
with this one, Reverend.

Gentlemen, please let us remember

that the deceased has not been convicted
of any capital crime,

and I intend to conduct
a proper service as best I can.

Circumstances have been such

that this man was violently
removed from this life

before he could be judged here on earth.

Let his only judgement therefore
be made in heaven.

Let us pray.

# There is a happy land

# Far, far away

# Where saints in glory stand

# Bright, bright as day

# O, how they sweetly sing

# Worthy is our Saviour King

# Loud let His praises ring

# Praise, praise for aye

# Come to this happy land

# Come, come away

# Why will ye doubting stand?

# Why still delay?

# O, we shall happy be

# When from sin and sorrow free

# Lord, we shall live with Thee #