Original subtitles

Me next! Me next! Oi!

Hey, mate. Mate, come on, come across.

Don't be shy. It's half price tonight.

Yeah, I'd really like to, but I've got this war wound.

Enjoy yourselves, lads.

Little sod!

AUSSIE SOLDIER: Just remember this. We're being civilised... sir.

There's men out there who'd be inclined otherwise.

SCOTS SOLDIER: There's one or two in here as well.

So if I were you, I'd just sign that. It's not a lot to ask.

It's just asking for some decency on your part.

And that bastard there.

After all, it's only our decency that's keeping you alive.

SCOTS SOLDIER: For the time being.

You gave me half an hour

40 minutes ago.

Christ, I hate heroes.

I will not be threatened and abused in my own office.

I will not be spoken to like this by a colonial, do you hear me?

I am not going to sign your wretched piece of paper.

And I warn you that you will suffer the consequences of your actions.

- SCOTS SOLDIER: Whoever we are. - You are to leave my office now.

Now!

The bullring to be closed.

The military police and the Assistant Provost Marshal to be removed.

That's you, sir.

Food and general conditions to be improved,

the town of Etaples to be made more accessible to private soldiers.

And no reprisals.

Now surely there's nothing wrong with that,

except we spelt "accessible" wrong.

You have told me what you were going to do,

and I have told you. That is all there is to it.

I am not going to do what you want me to do.

Are you

going to do whatever it is you are going to do?

Your command of the English language,

if I may be so bold, sir, almost rivals your command of this camp.

Well, are we gonna do it or what?

- You won't sign? - Of course I won't.

Gentlemen, your bluff has been called.

Back.

Oh, well, is the transport ready?

- I'm still for burning the bastards. - Not just yet, Jock.

This time I think we'll just throw them in the deep end.

If you would stand, please, gentlemen, while we escort you to your transport.

And no false bravery, please,

'cause believe me, you'll need our safe escort just to stay alive.

Get up!

Leave him.

Now get up.

(SOLDIERS SHOUTING)

Attention!

Gentlemen!

Well, gentlemen, regretfully we must now part company

until you're ready to agree to our demands.

SOLDIER: Providing, of course, you can swim.

I have nothing to say.

My son, my only son, died in the first weeks of the war.

He died in battle, and you, you bastards, you're still alive!

I had three brothers in 1915, sir.

And now I've only got one. We've all got hard luck stories.

Now get in there.

Bye-bye!

Phlegm, good old British phlegm, eh?

Wouldn't have done them much good if their faces were on fire, though, eh?

You can kill as many Red Caps as you can find, Jock, you'll be all right.

You burn down a Brigadier General, mate,

you'll be hunted down for the rest of your life.

No, he's gotta give in.

We gotta make sure that he does. Come on, let's get a drink.

You all right, sir?

(SPEAKING FRENCH)

Cruikshank?

Come back to bed, yes?

- I am safe with you in bed. - Safe?

I've never been so insulted in my life.

Pardon?

It's all right. I feel safe with this in bed.

I don't want Cavalry Corps HQ,

so it doesn't matter if there's no one there, does it?

I want 9th Cavalry Brigade...

Good God, man, of course there's a bloody difference,

I want the Corps Commander, shall I spell it?

Will you also continue to ring GHQ?

And do not be put off by some pimply little corporal.

Thank you.

Where was I?

Oh, uh, "Feeling in the crowd was only against the police,

"and officers were treated respectfully."

However, the demeanour of the crowd was so threatening to the police

that they were obliged to retreat.

The officers got the men back into camp, and by 2200 hours...

2230, all was quiet.

They took all the drink?

They did that to you?

I'm sorry.

Look, lads.

Wake up, lads.

Wait.

Where's Strachan?

They must have risen very early this morning, General.

SOLDIER: Did you have a good swim, General?

- Who must? - All the men that you assured me

were back in the camp by 10:00 last evening.

Perhaps they have a problem with regards to sleepwalking.

My information was...

Look, the situation is still under control.

On the other hand, it could get worse.

I don't think it will.

- What? - Yes, I know, the Bolsheviks,

the French mutiny, the summer socialists

and strikes in our green and pleasant land,

but I think this is different.

This is not, I suspect, political, more personal.

I suggest you get the remaining men back down to the bullring...

Training camp number one.

Yes, well, get them down there,

and we'll see what tonight brings.

What if it brings...

GHQ will have to consider bringing reinforcements from the front.

Yes, I have kept the situation at a deliberately

rather low level of priority with Headquarters.

I thought if I could whistle up the cavalry, the matter could be...

- Hushed up? ...cleared up.

Very quickly.

By the way, have you seen Strachan at all?

- Not since last night, no. - He hasn't disappeared, too, has he?

Not that I am aware of. And I doubt it very much knowing Strachan.

Good. Go on.

Still, if he has, you can always start dragging the river for him.

Can't you?

- Sod off, General. - Come back and join us!

- Hey, lads, where are you going? - Send us a postcard!

Yeah, all right, we're up for some trouble.

- About it, really, isn't it? - Aye.

We thought you might be able to give us a hand.

- Why is that? - Oh, I don't know.

Rumours you hear about you boys, agitators, revolutionaries...

I don't see any red flags.

As far as I know, there are two Bolsheviks here.

Four men on the run from the aftermath of the French mutiny,

and one or two potential socialists...

- Don't forget the pacifist. - Okay, forget politics.

How about revenge?

A lot of your boys still stuck in the prison compound

waiting around for a death sentence.

The place can be ours. Lock, stock and gun barrel.

- Until when? - Does it matter?

Hey, we're due for the front in less than a week, you know.

(MURMURING ASSENT)

I'm not.

No.

Look, we can win, you know. We can beat them for ourselves.

And get better conditions for the boys who come after us.

- That's right. - Sounds very political to me.

Well, hiding away here isn't going to do anything, is it?

I agree with you, but I can't force anyone...

Save yourself, we only came for a walk anyway.

So much for these stories you hear

about hundreds of desperate, passionate, violent men.

Two Bolsheviks. Four froggy deserters.

Junior socialists, pacifists, a few drunks.

I'd be careful what you say next, mate.

We can get 10 times this number here in an hour.

What do you do? Sing songs round the campfire?

Where's Baden-Powell? Or would you lot prefer his sister?

- Percy, you talk to the lads. - Come on, tommy.

I can't make public speeches. I would if I could, but I can't.

I know what to say, but I can't make people follow me that way.

Yes, well, somebody better had. 'Cause these lads are right!

Now, they're going up the line in a couple of days' time

and you know as well as I do that they'll be no worse off up there

than at that bloody camp.

- Why should we get involved? - Bugger it!

Those bastards in Etaples started this. Their sort always do.

Well, let's see if we can't finish it, eh?

ALL: Right!

- Give us an hour. - All right.

See you at the bridge.

- Come on, let's do it. - That's better.

You gotta give me some big words.

I don't know what's got into me today. I'm feeling all sort of honourable.

Won't last.

Hey, John, where are you going? Hey, John!

Look, Harry, look, I'm the revolution!

(ALL SHOUTING AND CHEERING)

SOLDIER: Plenty more on their way.

- Good to see you, mate. - So, how well do you know this camp?

We've only been here 10 days, we'll never forget it.

Good. So we want to be causing as much trouble as possible.

ALL: Yeah!

I reckon split the men up, four groups,

four different places, four times the trouble.

- You should have been a bloody officer. - You're not the first to remark upon it.

Right, we'll take the detention compound.

Franny, go down the bullring.

See what you can do down there for memories' sake.

Yeah!

You get the rest of your fellas together, smash the trains, anything.

What happens then, sir?

If I knew that, I'd be reading palms.

But if we just sit here on our arses, they're not going to sign anything.

They don't come to us, we go to them.

- You really love this, don't you? - Yeah. And you know why, Strange?

'Cause it's all bollocks, and I don't care.

Oh, yes you do.

We'll not go yet, Andrew, not yet.

It's not the army way.

Be all brushed under the carpet, shovelled out of sight,

seemingly forgotten about and then one fine day six months from now,

we'll both be posted to the Outer Hebrides

in preparation for a campaign against Iceland.

- Look, all I'm concerned... - And they'll call it promotion.

Where are all your men? Apart from outside here guarding you.

Some are inside, second line of defence, servants' quarters.

Otherwise I don't know.

Probably in the forests forming their own sanctuaries.

Now, that would be ironic.

If we get another night like last night,

I'm just gonna have to make the situation more defined.

I thought I'd get the cavalry just like that.

Swords and horses, mounted steel, soon sort them out.

Old friends, I had old friends in the cavalry.

Dickie Charlesworth, Freddie Hawkins...

They're either all at meetings or on leave.

(KNOCKING AT DOOR)

Come in.

"Reinforcements for the front are piled up at Boulogne

"awaiting the restoration of discipline and order.

"Every single man we sent down to camp one for training

"has sat on the sand and refused to budge."

A mere 3,500 men.

Tell my driver I'll be down in one minute.

Please.

Andrew.

I'd be glad to offer a few of my men as an armed escort, but

might be rather pointless.

Yes.

Crush the prison!

Smash the bloody fence down!

I am offering to save your life.

That's very generous of you. I'll remember you for that.

Listen, you may not have a chance to. The choice is yours.

Open up and clear off or stay and get beaten to buggery.

Do us a favour, no guns.

We won't use our guns if you don't use yours.

We weren't planning to.

Look, we got to put up a bit of a show, there might be informers.

We'll have a quick tussle and a bit of bruising, what do you say?

Fine by me.

(MEN CHEERING)

Was that all right?

Tied up all the rest, did you?

Remember me, eh?

Percy!

I knew it, man! I somehow knew it!

I told him you'd get me out of here, I told him,

and you bloody well have, man.

You're a hero, Perce. Christ, you're a flaming hero, man!

And you are one boring bastard.

You're not so hard now, are you?

Hey, you bastard!

What was that?

- It was the picture house, sir. - How stupid.

- Their recreation facilities gone. - Yes, sir.

It was Charlie Chaplin, sir.

- Very popular with the men, sir. - Seemingly.

(MEN SHOUTING)

No, wait.

I'm gonna talk to those men.

(ALL SINGING)

Get back to your units!

Call yourselves soldiers?

Report back to your depots!

Call yourselves British soldiers?

You're nothing but an undisciplined rabble!

Get back to your units!

(ALL JEERING ANGRILY)

He's a general!

He's a general!

Take it easy! Take it easy! Quiet!

Bombs are falling!

(ALL CHEERING)

Our demands.

- You've seen this before, I believe. - Get out of my car.

- Oh, come on, don't be like that. - Get out of my car.

But I've always believed that whatever's yours is mine

- and whatever's mine is yours. - SOLDIER: Yes!

Mainly because you've got more than I have.

- Get out of my car. - "Get out of my car."

The cavalry will be here by nightfall.

By nightfall, do you understand me? You'll be soon cut down to size then.

- Is that your uniform, Private? - For the time being, yes. If you...

But you're not a Highlander, you're not even a Scot.

No, you see, I was on holiday in Edinburgh when the war broke out.

(ALL LAUGHING)

- Get out of my car. - Agree to our demands.

- Get out of my... - Get out of my car.

We're gonna win.

(MEN CHEERING)

We are, you know.

- You're going to regret this. - Not as much as you will.

Sir.

Drive on. Drive on!

(ALL JEERING)

- Cavalry, eh? - Christ.

- So he says. - The cavalry's done nothing in this war.

- They're dying like the likes of us. - You heard what the man said.

Nightfall. You have until nightfall.

Well, let's see what happens at nightfall.

Until then, let's make the most of it, eh?

It'd be a shame to waste the opportunity.

Yeah.

Are we going to town or what?

(KNOCKING AT DOOR)

Chief Provost Marshal and General Asser, sir.

- Afternoon, William. - Afternoon, sir.

A bad business, Andrew. Gone too far now.

No choice. Outside troops.

- It looks like it, sir. - Withdrawn from the front.

- Well, how many? - And for how long?

Well, it depends who they are. I thought the cavalry.

- Decent men, regular soldiers. - You'll get the best we can give you.

You know the situation, Andrew. The big push is on.

Yes. Yes, thank you.

- How quickly can the men be got here? - Possibly by tomorrow night. Possibly.

Till then, you'll just have to do the best you can.

You know where you can find us.

(TELEPHONE RINGING)

Excuse me.

Hello. Oh, yes.

Could you ask him to hold on just for a few moments?

Thank you.

Thank you, General.

General Asser, thank you.

By the way, you ought to know, Andrew, Strachan's gone.

Gone?

- But I was with him... - Yes, transferred at his own request.

About an hour ago. Very sensible, all things considered.

He sends his regards.

- No doubt you'll see him again. - Yes, no doubt.

Hello, operator, I was speaking to Brigadier General Charlesworth.

Operator... Yes, hello.

Dickie? Dickie!

My God, it's a pleasure to hear your voice.

Yes. Yes, a long time. Very long time.

Listen, Dickie, there's been a spot of...

Well, a lot of trouble here.

I've been trying to contact you since Sunday night.

Oh, I see. You know about the events.

Yes, well, look, I'll come straight to the point, Dickie.

I need some assistance and quickly.

I need your men, horses and swords, put the fear of God up the buggers.

(KNOCKING AT DOOR)

I... Oh, 300 men, that's all.

But... See, it'll all be taken out of my hands if you don't...

If things don't improve.

So, if you can tell me by tomorrow morning.

(STAMMERING) If you can do that, if that's possible.

What?

Oh, yes, Kipling.

If you can keep your head when all about...

Yes, it's very appropriate, no doubt, Dickie,

but I'm not in the mood for poetry just at the moment.

Yes, thank you. Thank you for ringing.

Damn.

- ANGELA: Here's your tea. - Another egg, please.

- ANGELA: Next. - Three egg sandwiches, miss,

and a couple of woodbine.

ANGELA: Another one.

Two woodbines.

SOLDIER: Good morning, General.

And one general on toast, please.

- Can I speak to you, Angela? - Oh, I'm far too busy at the moment.

I really must insist.

Could you...

(SPEAKS FRENCH)

Well?

Whatever is the matter?

I'm accompanying Brigadier Horwood.

Not a pleasant proposition, I'll admit.

But not one to merit quite this much gloom, surely.

I have a message from him.

- To order me out of the camp? - Almost correct.

You're to leave France.

- Don't talk such rot, John. - It's an order.

But why?

- Strachan's gone. - Good, I'm very glad to hear it. So?

So you have to go, too.

- But I don't understand. - It's all to do with enemies.

I thought our enemy was Germany.

There's a car waiting for you to take you back to your house.

- To pack? - Yes.

Look, I'm sorry, Angela. I'll come with you.

Is that an order, too?

Yes, I suppose it is.

Come on, let's get it over with.

- Can't I even say goodbye? - No.

But I don't understand. I haven't done anything wrong.

There are always casualties, innocent victims.

Yes.

And I've been stabbed in the back, haven't I?

Hey girlie, you're not leaving us, are you?

Where are you going, General?

Come on, General.

(SOLDIERS SHOUTING ANGRILY)

- Nightfall. - And no sign.

- They won't arrive now. - No, not tonight. No.

But they'll come.

Horses, swords, whatever, they'll come. They have to.

So let the bastards come.

Yes, and we'll probably see our own brothers turning on us.

Yeah, of course we will.

They'll beat seven shades of shite out of anyone they can get hold of.

And if their officers say shoot the sods, then they will

'cause it will be us or them.

We've only got one chance.

If we can get Thomson to give in,

the demands become officially recognised.

Good, eh? "Officially recognised."

If we do, then it might be hard for the top brass

to go back on the word of an officer.

- And a gentleman. - Oh, yeah, that and all.

"Get out of my car."

Anyway, there's not much we can do tonight.

I don't know. Enjoy yourselves.

(DOOR OPENS)

Hey, lads, listen,

there's two Red Caps and a Canary been spotted in the garret.

Didn't anyone tell you? Come on!

(ALL SHOUTING)

Here we go again.

(BUGLE SOUNDING)

- You're not joining in? - I don't think so.

I do find killing people so terribly

boring.

Shall we do something else, Charles?

How... Where did you learn...

- Yes, Charles? - Oh, I don't know.

- How old are you? - Twenty.

Very recently, in fact. Not a card nor kiss nor handshake.

But what happened to you to make you like this?

Nothing. Nothing worthwhile happened to me.

And nothing was ever going to. So I decided to do something about it.

When was that?

Oh, I think I was about seven at the time.

- You'll be seeing that girl now, I'll... - Yes, I will.

But I was thinking, you might like to keep us, sort of, company.

In a sort of fashion.

Me, company? Oh, no, God, no. I couldn't do that.

Oh, no. No, I didn't mean that.

Charles, I'm not in the habit of sharing.

No, it's more like,

you know, you see somebody like me with a pretty girl, like you did yesterday.

And, of course, you always say,

"She hasn't got a sister by any chance, has she?"

Well...

Entrez.

(WOMAN SPEAKING FRENCH)

Bonsoir.

- Her sister. That's her sister? - Well, sort of sister.

Shall we say a sister of mercy?

(SPEAKING FRENCH)

(LAUGHS)

Come here, Guiness.

Here.

No, here.

Get yourself a glass.

Sit.

That's it.

Drink?

Don't mind if I do.

Well, it's all bollocks, isn't it?

Guiness.

That's what the men would say, isn't it?

It's all bollocks.

Ranker's language.

There's an officer's expression, officer's language if you wish.

"You're going to get a bowler hat."

It means someone's going to be sent home.

Sacked. Sent somewhere out of the way.

The Outer Hebrides.

Did you know, Guiness,

that I was Commandant of the Royal Military Academy at Woolwich?

A coveted appointment.

September, 1908.

I was... Those young officer cadets, they looked up to me.

I had a way with them.

Yes, I was respected, Guiness.

I may well have been held in some affection.

Do you remember that long hot summer of 1911?

Day after day after glorious day.

And one day I announced

that parades could be held in shirtsleeves.

I thought it an act of generosity.

But I made enemies that day.

I know I did.

I know, too, now that I made enemies when I sponsored end-of-term dances.

When I encouraged the Academy's Dramatic Society.

My wife was a very keen amateur actress. Lovely soprano.

But knives were being sharpened.

And at the end of that summer, that long hot summer of 1911,

the Chief of the Imperial General Staff, Sir John French,

yes, Sir John French,

came to our Open Day.

You know, the usual sort of thing, Guiness. Well, perhaps you don't.

Usually full of platitudes and congratulations and backslapping,

a lot of breast-beating about patriotism, loyalty.

But not that summer. Oh, no.

No indeed.

I stood beside Sir John French

facing my young cadets, their parents and their friends,

members of my own family,

while he attacked me for the lack of discipline at Woolwich.

Had to take it like a man

while he demanded a return to proper standards of dress,

more drill, less leave,

and an end to our hectic social life.

That's what he said.

I stood beside him, eyes facing front,

and that's what he said.

I left Woolwich shortly afterwards.

And I returned to King's Regulations.

To the very letter of the law.

No more small indulgences.

The bastards could parade in hell without a shirtsleeve to be seen

for all I care.

Gone, gone and never called me mother.

What kind of night did you have anyway?

Oh, quiet really, Gilzean.

We were both merely wrapped in the arms

of the two most beautiful women in France.

Oh, I know. The Mata Hari was at me all night long.

Wouldn't take no for an answer.

SOLDIER: You can bet your life those bastards will give us a hammering.

(SOLDIERS ARGUING)

SOLDIER 1: We gotta stay here.

Right-o!

Right-o, right-o!

Well, friends, seems like we can't do much more.

We can go on running wild, go on making demands,

but sooner or later...

- Sooner than you think, mate. - Be soon enough.

They'll bring in a new detachment of military police.

- SOLDIER: What about the cavalry? - Hey, the only argument

- is about when we stop, how we stop... - lf we stop.

(SOLDIERS DISAGREEING)

We've got to go up the line in the trenches when this is over!

If I could just say... If I could just say,

I want to stay here as long as I can.

I came here as a socialist to support my brothers.

Not to mention sisters.

(ALL LAUGHING)

All right, all right, all right!

Serious now, lads.

If you really want to know, I think you've got one last big bluff.

But you got to do it now.

(GUN FIRE)

Get down! Get down!

Get away from that gas, it will blow up!

(SOLDIERS SHOUTING)

OFFICER: Corporal, General Thomson. At the double, man!

I want my car. Get my car.

(TELEPHONE RINGING)

Yes?

Thank you.

Major Dugdale, sir. The pickets have broken through number one bridge again.

Too many men to count have gone through, sir.

- Get me my car. - Your car's outside, sir.

(TELEPHONE RINGING)

Yes.

19th Hussars. Yes, sir.

I'm afraid he's left the office, sir.

I'm terribly sorry, Brigadier Charlesworth,

I don't know where he's gone. Too late to catch him now, sir,

but I'll make sure he receives your message just as soon as he returns.

Thank you, sir.

Thomson!

Call yourselves soldiers? Call yourselves soldiers?

(SOLDIERS SHOUTING)

Listen. Listen. Listen to me! I have something to say.

On consideration, I've decided

that I'm prepared to accede to some of your demands.

(SOLDIERS CHEERING)

We won!

He's come to sign the demands!

He's coming in here!

What are you doing? What are you doing? Hide your faces!

Turn him away, for Christ's sake!

This isn't the bloody end of it, not if he sees you.

Now, if you want to come with us, hide your faces.

Strange, cover your face up, cover it!

I've done nothing that I'm ashamed of. Why should I...

Because, you stupid bastard, you're gonna be somebody after this war.

What do you want to be known as? A socialist or a deserter?

Don't argue the toss, just do it.

(MEN BOOING)

I only wanted to see you

and you cowards, you won't even grant me that.

But I should have known.

We do not want any speeches. We're not on parade now.

Either sign that or see the gas depot blown to buggery.

(SOLDIERS CHEERING)

Look at you. Look around you. Look at yourselves.

And I hope you remember this pathetic piece of cowardice

until your dying days.

Ach, away and blacken your bum.

(ALL LAUGHING)

Oh, yes. Yes.

But there's not one of you capable of looking me in the eye,

staring me in the face.

Standing up man to man.

You again.

I shan't forget you.

Who are you? Tell me.

- Who are you? - Whoever I want to be.

And who are you any more?

(SOLDIERS CHEERING)

Goodbye, General!

(BAGPIPES PLAYING)

Gilzean, come on, man, let's go.

Come on. Yes, come on, come on.

It's all over.

Hey, see you again, eh, lads?

Aye, sure.

Back to nature, eh?

That will no longer be necessary. Thank you.

Sir... Um, sir...

Brigadier General Charlesworth, 19th Cavalry Hussars, telephoned, sir.

They're ready to move with the machine gun section

at one hour's notice, sir.

When did that message arrive, Guiness?

Sometime after you left, sir.

Ring Brigadier General Charlesworth back and tell him that it doesn't matter.

That the hour has passed.

And a further message from High Command, sir. Brigadier General Horwood.

360 men from the First Honourable Artillery Company

will be arriving at 1800 hours this evening.

And the First Royal Welsh Fusiliers, plus the 22nd Manchesters

will be here no later than tomorrow morning, sir.

(MEN SINGING DRUNKENLY)

I see you've been letting your hair run riot, too, Private.

Yes, sir.

Heaven knows, but they just melted away.

Met very little resistance, did we, Teddy?

Hardly had to do anything, except be here.

Mind you, trying to single out the ringleaders has proven rather tricky.

- Yes. - Not to put too fine a point on it,

it's in our best interest and the interest of the war effort

to get these mutineers out of here as fast as possible.

We can start shipping them out tomorrow.

- Up the line, sir? - Good God, man, where else?

These men are badly needed for the big show.

Give them a few days in Passchendaele and they'll either be dead

or damn glad to be alive.

Eh, Alex?

Oh, yes, yes. All this mutiny nonsense will soon be forgotten.

One way or another.

But isn't it a bit dangerous, though, to do absolutely nothing?

The attacks on the NCOs alone, the damage, the abuse.

Won't that encourage a repetition of these events, sir?

Have you finished?

- Yes, sir. - Good.

Because my priorities are the bloody deserters.

Red flags were flown. And we're not having that.

Bolsheviks and cowards. They're the ones I want.

And that will be the first priority for the new chief of police

and the Secret Service chap I've been hearing about.

Woodhall. Edwin Woodhall. The best by all accounts, the very best.

Rather small.

- Stop! - Stop or I'll fire!

Stop or you'll get shot.

Stop! Come here, you swine!

Get up now! Get up!

(SHOUTING)

- Good for nothing coward, get up! - Come on, get up.

Get, get, get going! Forward!

(GUN FIRING)

Get up! Get up there! Don't bugger about with it!

SOLDIER: All right, all right, I'm going.

- Get up, you bastard. - All right. All right.

Get up, you Bolshie bastard.

- Move it, move it. - Go on, get in.

"Gordon Highlander with an English accent.

"Average height. Brown hair, thick head of.

"High cheekbones, cruel face.

"Except when he smiled."

The smile, General?

Well, he just looked different, that's all.

Like suddenly someone else was in the car with me.

I can't explain it any better than that.

Oh, well. Yes, I can.

He looked like an officer when he smiled.

I know that sounds silly, but...

No, please go on, sir.

Later, when I signed those demands,

confidence, you know, something like that.

Command.

And my God, Woodhall, he was in charge of those men.

Young though he was,

the fools would have done anything for him.

Mmm.

Thank you, General.

I shall get an artist working on a representation of the man.

And I'd be grateful if you could have a look at it when it's finished.

Well, you'd better be quick, hadn't you?

I'm going to have an illness, so they tell me.

- He got into your car. - But he was just one of the crowd.

And then he sat down in the back seat. So I don't know, Sergeant.

You must have some idea what he looked like.

Come on,

roughly.

Well,

he was taller than you, Sergeant.

- Christ, it's cold. - Aye, I know.

Yeah.

- Worth risking a fire? - No.

We're gonna get caught here.

Either that or frozen.

Didn't do us much good, did it?

All that trouble.

Oh, I don't know, Franny.

Well, I do, and it didn't.

If they could chase the Germans like they chased us,

the bloody war would have been over long ago.

I think we should go.

- FRANNY: But where? - Home.

I'll send for a cab.

Tram service around here is disgraceful.

Make our way to Boulogne.

There's always a madness there of the new and the wounded.

Thousands coming and going with every tide.

We'll take our chances.

What do you think, Perce?

Can you get a boat from Boulogne to Russia?

I'm not a Bolshevik and you know it. Are you coming or not?

No.

But I will eventually, Charles, but not just yet.

I think I shall stroll about for a bit, see what's cooking.

If anyone's cooking, Perce, it'll be you.

- You'll be the main meal. - You're mad.

You must be. If they're looking for anyone, it'll be you.

What, me?

No, I don't think so. What did I do? I was just having a laugh.

Anyway, I like army life.

Be going dark soon, boys.

Best make a move.

I'll remember what you did for me.

You know I will. Everything, Perce.

I won't forget.

Neither will I.

Goodbye, Strange. I'll see you again sometime, mate.

Bet you knew him really well, didn't you?

Away to fuck.

Next.

My arm! You shitebag!

My arm!

(SHOUTING)

I shouldn't be here.

I should be in hospital.

Had a terrible war, really, haven't you?

Yes.

Yes, I bloody well have.

- Well, that can change. - Aye. Yeah, I know.

I could be shot for desertion.

That'll make a change.

Long spell in hospital. That's what you need, I would think.

In fact, I wouldn't be surprised

by the time you were fully recovered, ready to face charges,

it could easily be after the end of the war.

Peacetime.

You don't get shot for desertion in peacetime.

I don't wanna die.

I know you don't. It's not a pastime I would recommend.

Especially not to someone like yourself who's plainly suffered enough.

Tell me about him.

He didn't start anything.

We know that. We know who's really to blame.

If you want to know, he was a hero.

He didn't seem like one, or act like one.

You never knew what he was thinking, or which way he'd go.

You never even knew till it had happened

and then you realised.

I bet you knew him really well, didn't you?

Yeah.

September 1915, Loos, Royal Army Medical Corps.

Stretcher bearer, wounded in action.

Met him then, did you?

Tell me his name. That's all.

That's not a lot to ask in return, is it?

(MAN SHOUTING ORDERS)

# If I knew that someone cared for me

# I'd let the world go by

# Someone who was true as true could be

# I'd never want to sigh

# What would I give today

# Just to hear someone softly say

# Let the great big world keep turning

# Never mind if I've got you

# For I only know

# That I want you so

# And there's no one else will do

# You have simply set me yearning

# And forever I'll be true

# Let the great big world keep on turning round

# Now I've found someone like you

# Love they say must come to one and all

# Of high and low degree

# Come what may I'm waiting for the call

# It holds no fears for me

# Maybe the day is near

# When the thought of my heart I'll hear

# Let the great big world keep turning

# Never mind if I've got you

# For I only know

# That I want you so

# And there's no one else will do

# You have simply set me yearning

# And forever I'll be true

# Let the great big world

# Keep on turning round

# Now I've found someone like you #

Fine sentiment, Captain. Beautifully played.

I heard you from outside.

Delightful.

You don't know The Mountains of Mourne, do you?

Not personally, no.

A pity. Lovely song.

Full of the mists of time.

Can I buy you a drink?

I was just about finished, Padre.

Just one more, surely. Perhaps another song or two.

I've got a train to catch.

One for the road, what do you say?

- One for the train! - No, really.

Don't be like that.

- I said no. - I insist.

- Stay still, lad. - What is going on?

(WOMAN SCREAMING)

All right, I'll have a drink.

Yes, we executed our first mutineer yesterday.

Very good friend of yours, I'm sure.

A chap called Gilzean.

I expect they'll drop some of the other charges against you now.

- Impersonating an officer and such like. - That's very decent of them.

All those stories about you.

Looking at you now, you don't look much like a hero to me.

Well, that's the last thing I am.

- The cemeteries are full of heroes. - Yes.

Of course, they're not so full of deserters.

But they're there all the same, hidden away in some corner.

Untended, uncared for, unloved.

But you'll say a prayer over me, though, won't you, Padre?

- See you tomorrow, then. - Don't be late.

Hello, son, remember me?

(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

(FOOTSTEPS RECEDING)

How would you like to help me hang meself?

I'm in enough trouble as it is.

(WHISPERING)... 66, 67, 68...

74 again.

They must wind this fellow up.

...65, 66, 67, 68, 69,

70, 71, 2, 3, 4,

5, come on, 6... Now!

And for my next trick...

PERCY: Get down.

Now, go on.

Hey!

(METALLIC CLANGING)

- A breakout. - Where, where?

Over there, move.

Stop or I'll fire. Stop!

WOODHALL: The hammer of his revolver clicked, but it did not go off.

I made a rush at him and smashed my fist into his face.

At that moment, assistance arrived and he was easily overpowered.

Oh!

PERCY: Good afternoon.

Oh, dear. The old Austin and Swift 1910.

...in the only way I knew how. But what you must remember, Dorothy,

is that we were on the point of a major offensive.

And there he was, galloping through no-man's-land

with his hounds, tally-ho.

Of course, we asked him what the hell he was doing there,

and he said, "I'm looking for foxholes, dear boy."

What else does a gentlemen do at the weekends?

Shall I send him away?

No.

The butler would never understand.

You mean he doesn't know you have a long-lost brother?

No, and neither do I.

- An aged aunt perhaps. - No!

No, it's not that, Johnny.

- Well, I've told you. My husband was... - The dead don't know.

I've seen enough to tell you that.

It's just...

I promised myself that I wouldn't

entertain anyone else in this house.

His house.

Your house.

Johnny.

33-44. Telephone me.

Telephone me first. If you want to.

I'll do more than that.

At midday tomorrow, young lady,

I shall, with almost military precision, be outside whoever's house this is,

and I shall drive you, either east or west.

- Or totally insane. - I thought I'd done that already.

Must be slipping.

But whichever way I drive you, east, west, mad or weak at the knees,

I shall have you at the coast by tea-time.

And what will happen then, Johnny?

I shall entertain you.

Good night.

Mrs Taylor?

DRIVER: Did you have a good night, sir?

I had a...

I don't know.

Just out of curiosity, driver,

how much would you give me for this?

You can entertain me for as long as you like, Johnny.

And when do you go away?

# Pack up your troubles in your old kit-bag

# And smile, smile, smile

# While you've a lucifer to light your fag

# Smile, boys, that's the style

# What's the use...

There you are, Captain. All the best.

# It never was worthwhile

# So pack up your troubles in your old kit-bag

# And smile, smile, smile #

# Private Perks is a funny little codger

# With a smile, a funny smile

# Five feet none He's an artful little dodger

# With a smile, a sunny smile

# Flush or broke, he'll have his little joke

# He can't be suppressed #

- Give us a sovereign. - I beg your bloody pardon.

- You heard, give us a sovereign. - Damn cheek.

I know you have. If you're gonna do something, pal, do it well.

You've got a red chevron missing.

Your medal ribbon's back to front. Some soldier you must be.

Now give us a sovereign before I scream the place down.

Give me the Mons Star, too. I ain't got that one.

# Smile, boys, that's the style

# What's the use of worrying? #

Polish your boots while you're at it.

MAN: There you go, Captain. God bless you.

# So pack up your troubles in your old kit-bag

# And smile, smile, smile #

- Where have you been this time? - Sorry I'm late.

I don't mind the minutes, John. It's the weeks.

Ask no questions and you'll be told no lies.

If you're going to see ghosts, Dorothy, you'll see them wherever we go.

No. No, it's not that.

- It's not him, believe me. - Well, what is it?

Ask no questions and...

All right, but I'm telling you,

get rid of that ghost now or he'll never let you go.

(WOMAN SCREAMING)

Quiet! Quiet! Up!

Slowly, slowly, slowly.

MAN: What's he done?

MAN: He's changed his mind.

PERCY: # Let the great big world keep turning

# Never mind if I've got you

# For I only know

# That I want you so

#And there's no one else will do

# You have simply set me yearning

#And forever I'll be true

# Let the great big world keep on turning round

# Now I've found someone like you #