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Dear Mrs Treble,

You said that if I ever felt sad,

I should tell you about it.

I don't see you now, like I did when I had little worries.

Mrs Trebla, I feel sad.

Much sadder than l've ever felt since I was little.

THE DANDELIONS

Rise and shine!

You're worried about going back to school,

so you sleep with your bag.

You promised you'd wake me early.

The thing is, with my earplugs,

I hear your dad's snoring, not the alarm clock.

Mom, get up before the Good Lord stops you.

Let's go.

No, breakfast first.

I'm not hungry.

Sit down.

Mom, your laxative.

Take your bag off.

Orange marmalade!

Reminds me cf childhood.

Here.

Could I have Nutella for Christmas?

No industrial junk here.

That sucks.

I hope you always eat this food "that sucks"!

Michel, please,

fix this kitchen.

As a kid, I crossed Poland on an empty stomach.

That's true.

In Auschwitz, he fought for potato peelings.

We really suffered.

Where were you in the war?

In Tunis.

You don't have a monopoly on suffering.

And I married a man, not a victim.

I'm her father, not a man.

From cradle to grave, honey.

Will I die before you?

Well, you never know.

You wonder why I'm taking her to a shrink.

If you do, l'll kill her.

Then, I'll kill myself.

Then, I'll kill myself, too.

No!

Oh, they're going too far!

Locking the gate before the kids are all in!

You stink

Damn school!

What?

Hi. The gate's locked. It's Rachel Gladstein's mother.

Try arrivinq on time at the "damn school"!

She's very unpleasant.

Not saying goodbye?

Chickpea!

Your last teachers told me about you,

but I'd still like you to write a self-portrait,

just like every year.

Sit down, then.

Can someone please make room for Raphaële?

Rachel.

As for Marina Campbell,

I want you to support her in her time of grief.

As you may know,

her mom left us recently. Right, Marina?

Make room for Raphaële. She's late, not a leper!

I can, Miss!

Go on, then.

Go on.

This year, we'll study the varieties of apples.

Your name's Rachel? I love that name.

I'm Valérie. After Empress Valeria Messalina.

She was killed at 23, 'cause she was a bit cf a whore.

My mom works in history, you see?

Going camping?

You're a gypsy Barbie!

Your snack looks gross.

Give it to Marina. Her mom can't make her one.

We can hear you, Raphaële.

- That's enough. - Her name's Rachel, Miss.

Gladstein. Rachel Gladstein.

Open wide and don't move. I'm in your eye.

Little worries.

Mr Fadiga, don't move!

Thursday?

5 PM. OK.

The thing is...

Yes, goodbye.

Is it serious, Doc?

No, it's hormonal. It's alright, thanks.

What is this doctor?

A friend.

A colleague. You don't know her.

She's very nice.

You'll see, she loves kids.

Hello.

You must be Rachel.

Well, Rachel, my name's Mrs Treble.

Do you know what the children who come here say?

They say this is the place

of blah blah blah!

Hello.

I'm Colette Gladstein. I'm Rachel's mom.

Yes?

Yes?

Yes...

Well, listen... No...

Generally speaking, Rachel is

very happy. Right, Rachel?

But...

sometimes...

she sleeps completely...

dressed, with her bag.

In French, please.

Well, it started

when Mom moved in with us last year,

after her stroke.

Her retirement home...

I mean her rest home. Anyway...

They asked us to take her back, because...

she'd become a bit...

a bit... tempestuous with a gentleman.

But... I'm sure he died cf old age...

Because...

Mom doesn't talk much, but...

she can be impulsive and...

So much so that when I was little...

...You wished she'd listen to you.

So, let us listen to the little girl in Rachel.

The little girl who, like all of us, is trying to communicate,

but doesn't dare to speak.

You're not Mom's friend.

It was hard to draw you.

Why's that, Rachel?

Your face is all lined. 200 wrinkles.

Well, you know, I was young once, too.

Hard to believe!

Tell me about your worries.

- Me? - You.

No.

Try the little window behind the closet.

It's more comfortable.

Were you as pretty as Marina Campbell?

Who's Marina Campbell?

A girl in my class.

She's beautiful. And her mother's dead.

I don't know if I was as pretty as her.

But my mother said I was special.

Is your mother dead, too?

Yes, Rachel.

And your father?

Yes, Rachel.

How did they die?

For Marina's mother, it was horrible.

She was squashed flat like an omelet with ketchup on.

Do you know other people who died?

What about you? Do you?

Now, when I really die, you'll think it's a joke!

I think it reassures Chickpea to have her grandma in her room.

Me too.

What?

It reassures me to have a grandma in my room!

Time up!

Marina...

If I could bring your mom back

by killing mine, I'd do it at once.

You're insane!

Hey, gypsy Barbie, can you do this?

No hands!

It's for my birthday.

For my birthday.

- Here. - It's for your party?

Hey, mini-dwarf! Who's your maxi-master, you runt?

Is my sister bugging you?

Enough of you.

Leave me alone.

For my birthday.

It's on Saturday from 3.

Bring someone along if you like.

I'll bring my big-ass skates!

OK, come on.

Will that be enough?

"Patience is the best buckler against affronts."

If I was like you, nothing'd happen.

Rachel wouldn't see a shrink.

Speak French in front of her?

Yes, on Dr Cécile Trebla's recommendation.

Huh, Rachel?

You can understand things new.

Yes.

Hi!

Hi, are you Rachel?

Happy birthday.

My brother says no to kids under 5 feet tall.

Are we the first?

Simon phones his mother and says: OK, Mom?

- Yes. - Sorry, it must be a wrong number.

Mind if I smoke?

Not at all. Can I have one?

Michel...

I've always liked the occasional cigarette.

Can you get the lemonade, honey?

Yes, honey, which vintage?

Can I help, Mrs Gladstein?

No, and please call me Colette.

OK, I'm Catherine. First names are much better.

I agree, Mrs Parisi.

- "Catherine"! - Right.

Can I see your room?

If you like.

3.30 - none cf her friends are here. It's worrying.

Apart from Valérie.

Yes, cf course.

OK, how about a bite to eat?

No, thanks, I'm on a diet.

Just 2 little horns.

That won't hurt.

MEATBALL

Correct. Now spell "stomach".

Who sleeps here?

My grandma.

Why?

I watch her in case she dies.

Is she sick?

A blood clock's stuck in her brain.

She can't move her arm.

It's a clot, not a clock!

You sure?

Yes. I got family hypertrophic myocarditis

from my father.

It means my heart's huge!

- You work for...? - The CNRS.

I help historians with research. I'm doing Raymond Aron.

He's a lucky guy!

I'm going to call the parents.

I'm on the parent teacher association.

It's fascinating.

Hello, Mrs Boubakar. It's Colette Gladstein.

It's about the birthday party.

Rachel's. It's today.

Strange Sissi and her gang aren't here.

They're at Marianne's party.

I didn't tell Mom. I could've killed her.

Am I the only one, then?

She cocked tons cf meatballs.

She must've spent days doing them!

She has no friends.

Apart from Valérie.

Yes...

Here!

Never mind, darling, we'll eat your meatballs!

How about a bite to eat, Catherine?

No!

I just drink and smoke.

It's my only sustenance.

Just a little shortbread horn.

Eating your lipstick?

I'll go get the wine.

C'mon, girls.

Come eat my falafels.

Like it?

Yeah.

You can skate to school.

We'll see about that, honey.

Today, Chickpea, you're 9 years old.

Time to make you aware

that you're not the only person in the world.

So, you look left and right

and what do you discover?

Where's the bathroom?

It's left, then right.

Thanks.

Well?

Compassion?

Not at all. You discover diversity,

then compassion.

Sc, I hope you'll appreciate the value cf my gift.

Happy birthday, honey.

"The Sahel Cries Out"' Quick, make a donation...

Know what it is?

It's a modern magic wand.

It lets you put a smile on a black child's face,

to his great surprise.

Heard cf child sponsorship?

Thanks, Mom.

Don't mention it, honey.

These leftovers! What a shame.

It's so tasty, too.

Did Catherine take a box just to be polite?

- She seems nice. - As much as a single woman can be.

She sure can drink.

My uncle said no widow or single woman

would ever set foot in his house.

Well, you didn't seem to mind.

I couldn't throw her out.

I'll never get it in.

Valérie's a bit coarse, isn't she?

She's a bit intrepid.

Shit, shit!

This kitchen is such a fiasco!

I'll put it back on.

Mind you, it's hot.

Pass it...

Pass it here.

Ladies, can I help you?

Hey, gypsy Barbie!

I'm gonna swap my math test.

You coming?

Come see.

Come see, Rachel.

C'mon!

Rachel! Come here.

Dirty Danielle's groping her husband.

I'm fed up cf this!

Danielle?

You there, darling?

I was just having a quick pee.

OK, hon?

They all deserve to stand in the corner.

Hurry up.

It's Mr Vaillant's retirement party.

Oh, I clean forgot. Do we have a gift?

A raclette grill.

Who was that?

Dunno.

Ouch!

Sorry!

What's wrong with you?

We were in the staff room...

If you must know, we've got

a solid-silver scoop.

What?

Mrs Danielle... What?

We'll only tell cur real friends.

Here.

It's a coupon to join the Friends of Barbie Club. Want it?

So, this secret?

Sorry, that's not enough.

Anyway, the plastic boob club isn't for us.

Right.

Mom?

Yes, Chickpea?

I want long hair like Marina Campbell.

A witty girl like you doesn't need such artifice.

My mom didn't get my hair done.

She knows best!

She didn't want me to be vain.

You'd have stolen her thunder.

Valérie invited me to sleep over at hers.

That's kind, but it might disturb her mom.

Why can't she?

You said yourself she's intrepid.

So what? That's no reason.

She's never slept anywhere but home.

First time for everything.

Or you could sign me up to the Friends cf Barbie Club.

Friends of Barbie Club?

Yeah.

You can win luxury prizes

and Barbie writes you regular letters and becomes your friend.

You want to pay to become friends with a plastic doll

with dirty-blond nylon hair!

You won't let me play with real girls for free.

Stop acting spoiled.

At your age, I got an orange at Christmas.

He always says that: "At your age..."!

What do you think it was like for him then?

It was no fun at first.

Why was it no fun for your dad at first?

He was the youngest in his family.

Then, what happened?

Then, they were all exported to Osvicht

and they all died apart from Dad

who came back on his own

barefoot in the snow in stripy pajamas.

You know, Rachel,

those events in your father's life must've been very hard.

I don't think so.

I'm glad you're doing justice to my gift.

Who's it to?

The Sahel Cries Out.

I'm very proud of you, Chickpea.

It's rare to feel compassion for others,

but at your age, it's fantastic.

Friends of Barbie Club

She almost deserves her Barbie membership.

Over my quivering body!

'Night.

Mind if I turn my back on you?

- Yes? - Apples.

Apples, yes.

Apples...

How to stay slim

Other food which is good for you?

Sausages?

No. Manon?

Lettuce.

With her ass, she must drink water and puke!

If it's interesting, Raphaële, tell the class.

Tc stay healthy, you have to eat apples and suck cocks.

Both of you to the principal.

Valérie...

To stay slim, you must...

...eat apples.

Yes, and?

Pears.

And?

Drink water.

And what else?

Suck socks...

Sorry.

Cocks, not socks.

That's enough!

Where do they hear such things?

It's not to excuse their attitude, but...

it's true that Mrs Danielle wears rather "risqué" clothes...

which can cause children to make inappropriate remarks.

She has very nice clothes. Nothing justifies their attitude.

She wears quite elegant clothes.

I like her sleeveless rabbit-skin cardigan.

Mr...

Prickard.

Mr Prickard...

Rabbit-skin no doubt suits her,

but it's nevertheless an incitement to sex.

But I think the girls need to be punished.

Sc, copy cut 100 times: "Don't suck socks"!

Hi, Mrs Parisi, it's Rachel's mom.

Weren't we using first names?

Oh, yes, sorry.

As you couldn't go,

I wanted to tell you about the incident at school.

Valérie's already told me.

Do you realize she knows the expression, "suck cocks"?

I know.

Her brother teaches her. What can you do?

I see.

Would you believe it,

Rachel doesn't say "suck cocks" but "suck socks"?

"Suck socks"!

"Suck cocks," Mom, not "socks".

Valérie would like

Rachel to sleep over. She could come after school.

That's very kind of you, but...

I have a symposium tomorrow,

unfortunately, so for once...

my mother will pick Rachel up.

Sc, with her hemiplegia,

I'm worried about her... I mean, I wonder...

if running to your place... It could kill her.

I can take her.

Don't you have a big yard?

Look at that.

Is that yours?

No, it's my Mom's.

Your Mom's?

It's us! We're hungry!

Hello.

OK, honey? Come on in.

Hello, Michel.

Come in for a drink.

No, I'm busy.

Can I ask you a favor?

Sure.

Thanks for bringing them.

Dad works on the Riviera with the tears.

He met David Hasselhoff in a club...

What's your name?

Are you coming?

Your friend's get talent.

Dad took me to the Picasso Museum once.

That's why.

C'mon...

Come help us instead of sulking.

Well, sister, what do you want? Blue, red?

Green.

Are you sure?

Stop it, dammit!

It was only a joke.

Motherfucker!

Your kitchen's interesting.

You think so?

I work for Mobalpa Kitchens.

Pass me the screwdriver.

- As a designer? - No.

But you're lucky, I'm a fitter.

I put up, I take down...

The bulb.

What do you mean by "interesting"?

I mean it has a certain charm,

but it's suffered a lot.

It hasn't been taken care cf. At this rate...

- Is it done for? - No, it's strong stuff.

I'd say it needs a good overhaul.

An overhaul?

Check the electricity, the solidity cf the cabinets.

God invented that stuff just to get me!

My brother gives me a hand when he passes through.

Once I didn't ask him and bought a vacuum cleaner at 1 ,200 francs!

You're joking?

It blew up after 2 days.

I was on my own. I thought I was going to die.

The carpet and the paint were ruined.

The warranty was fake and the company had disappeared!

I'll do it.

What?

Your kitchen. I'll fix it up. Good as new.

- I can't afford it. - Who mentioned money?

I can pick up the materials.

I can make a wonderful kitchen. A one-off.

Hi, it's Colette.

Did the girls arrive safely?

I'm not worried, but...

Yes. Michel's still here.

Want to speak to him?

Uh, yes. Yes, please.

Can you hear me?

Yes. I'm just leaving. You still over there?

It's dragging on. I'll be home late. Don't wait for me for dinner.

There are 2 boxes of meatballs.

And for dessert, finish the stewed apple.

AI right.

You OK?

It's not too much of a dive

at Catherine the single mom's?

I gotta go.

I'm being called.

Bye.

See you tonight, honey.

Hello, we're live and on the air. Over to you.

Please give us an equivalent of "spinach".

We're all ears.

7 letters. We eat it at the canteen and it stinks.

Sardine?

Bravo! You're ugly but not dumb!

You've won 2 francs. Scram! Next candidate.

I don't smoke or drink,

but I suck... candy!

Have a drink.

Dallas

Your merciless world

Sue Ellen!

The lawyers will drop the case!

She says you got her pregnant

and you buy her silence!

We've been trying to have a kid!

You get her pregnant first time!

Don't shout! The whole of Dallas will hear!

I don't care!

Forgive me, Sue Ellen.

I'll give you my advice: If you want to keep

your husband, you'll have to start doing the hokey-pokey again.

- Like it or not. - What?

I never liked doing it with your dad.

I'd rather have had someone more inventive.

He get me pregnant first time, like your Michel.

How can you compare Michel to...?

I'm talking from experience. Life's one big sacrifice.

You made sacrifices?

You wanted for nothing.

You dragged me to France with cut considering

how I felt about it!

And you dare to give me advice on my love life?

You were out having affairs.

I was bored, Mom.

I was so bored!

Boredom's a luxury.

Do you love me, Mom?

You're back?

Yes. What time is it?

What's with your eyes?

It's conjunctivitis.

How was it?

Very interesting.

Laser eye surgery. Fascinating.

I'm sure.

Rachel wasn't too anxious?

No, fine.

The girls put on a show.

Very amusing.

What did they eat? Have you eaten?

A bit. Pizza.

Pizza...

That's good...

Mind if I turn my back on you?

What's the apple for?

The teacher wants me to draw it for you.

Take this one.

It's old.

Well, you can't help kids in the Sahel and waste food.

What's that mess?

It's my apple.

It's rotten.

For Mother's Day?!

Marina, since you're bored to death, do a nice drawing.

It won't bring your mom back, but still...

It'll please Rachel's mom.

Lock at that sex slut!

Let's follow her. Maybe she's seeing her lover.

I have to wait for Mom.

Serve her right for being late!

Yeah, she can go get treated by my shrink!

C'mon, we'll lose her!

Don't cross. It's dangerous!

D'you hear me, Rachel?

Her ass is on fire!

It smells of burned butt hair!

Michel Leclerc!

Think he's Mrs Danielle's lover?

Dunno. Ring the bell.

Who's there?

Little brats!

Hang on.

Rachel, look!

In the kitchen. Look.

Think they want everyone to see them naked?

Hey, kids! Time for aerobics!

He'll pull her hair cut.

I love to do that.

I grew up in St Malo, so crepes remind me of childhood.

Your childhood wraps mine!

Crepes with pickles! What'd Grandpa think?

Actually, the real Malossol is a cucumber.

Really? What's the difference?

It's a gherkin that's picked when it's ripe.

It tastes quite different.

It's bigger, more tender.

Taste it.

Just a bit, 'cause at first...

Wow, you've broken everything!

Want some crepes?

Does Mom know you're here?

What about you?

I'm fixing Valérie's Mom's kitchen.

Well, I hope you'll do ours next.

School's out now. I'm just obeying rules.

That's what they said in the war! D'you have kids?

Yes, 8 in all.

Whatever! Rachel always waits for me.

She must he wandering the school,

frightened and hungry!

Maybe she's run away

or been kidnapped. lilts your fault if you’re not on time!

Hello.

- Going out? - With you.

You won't need your bag at the police station.

You called the cops?

I don't want to see the police!

I'm not asking you!

I'm telling you!

Right...

Just you wait, missy!

I'm... I'm locking you in the "dark room"!

- There isn't one. - There is!

That was in Tunis.

Get in there.

It's a dressing room.

I'll put you in prison... I mean, in a kennel... a home!

Turn that light off!

It was to see the time.

Don't make fun of me!

I can't hear in the dark. What?

You've asked for it.

Is that the boarding school?

Hello, Mrs Very Strict Principal.

I want to send you my unbearable, lying daughter.

You can't do that!

It's to scare her, idiot!

I'm not even scared!

- What the hell is that? - It's your underwear.

Yes, it's your underwear!

Come back here!

Go to your room.

- Colette... - Get off, Michel!

OK if I turn the light off, hon?

'Evening, Rachel.

'Evening, Mrs Treble.

Nice place you have.

It's not my place.

It's my parents' place.

It'll be mine when they're dead as I'm an only child.

Is it sad being an only child?

Sometimes.

How is it an advantage?

When we have a leg cf lamb, I get the bone to myself.

And...

I can spread cut on the couch to watch the TV test card.

I see.

Sc, when your parents die, you'll have the place to yourself.

Yeah.

Grandma has to die, too,

but she'll die before they do.

What'll you do when they're all dead?

I'll never tidy my room again.

I'll eat nothing but Nutella.

And everyone will pity me, 'cause I'll be an orphan.

Like Marina Campbell?

Yeah, but better, 'cause she still has her father.

Other people dying is really great!

Yeah.

All the joys you have during the day,

what a pleasure to share them

with your parents and grandma at night.

But they'll be dead.

Yes, that's silly, isn't it?

Let's leave it there.

You don't look too good.

Does your kid still sleep with her bag?

Mr Fadiga...

You have cancer.

I'm sorry.

Did you join the club?

No, I used all my pocket money to save Ethiopia.

What's Mrs Danielle's secret?

- We saw her in the bathroom... - Wait!

Wait.

Hi, Mrs Danielle.

Hi, Patrick, how was your gym class?

Or eat.

I have a pupil with golden hair,

Marina Campbell.

Mine's soft and silky, too.

I wash it with "Timothy".

Oh, yes, it's very soft.

Who's this Timothy?

Oh, Patrick, it's my shampoo!

I know. I was joking.

You're so funny, Patrick!

Careful, I can see your boobies.

I'm so clumsy!

These heels are so high!

I'll help you, Mrs Danielle.

I think you forgot to put your panties on.

What an idiot I am!

Stop it, Patrick. Don't rape me!

Why not? Your breasts are so nice.

Please, stop it.

I don't like being raped.

- Let me get on with it, then. - OK.

Stop it! You're disgusting!

We were playing! Are you nuts?

Your parents kissed or you wouldn't be here!

Fuck me, darling!

My Mom's dead, you know!

- Shit! - What is it?

I asked you to get 140 x 60 cm planks.

What's this crap?

- I don't know. - No?

You have 2 left hands! That's 120 x 40.

It's not long enough. Now what?

They said...

I see why your brother checks what you do!

Did you get the varnish?

Yes.

Hello, Valérie.

Why are you here?

I was in the area.

As it's time to come home...

I came to pick you up.

Get your things.

Hello, Catherine.

- How are you? - Fine, thanks.

How's the work going?

It's almost finished.

Come in.

Your husband's an artist.

He puts his heart into things. He paid attention to every detail.

It's magnificent, Michel.

A splendid job.

I'm ready.

What time is it?

7 PM. Well, well!

Your Mom's right, time to go home.

Bye, Catherine. Bye, Valérie.

Bye, Michel.

Put your slippers on.

A guy who makes you laugh is rare.

I don't want to laugh.

Isn't a perfume seller funny?

No.

So, we must do something.

I can’t just punch her out!

It has an exotic fragrance.

Quite floral, in fact.

Sorry.

Never mind.

Exquisite.

Well, really!

Yes, you're very unlucky. This is a fine powder.

It's transparent and hypoallergenic.

It smells strange, doesn't it?

I don't think so.

She's crazy! Hysterical!

Ma’am, did you see that lunatic?

Rachel, has doing sex with your dolls got you a bit worked up?

Mrs Treblablabla,

could you stop asking me such dumb questions?

Don't forget the light.

Here we are.

If it's too much work, I can ask my brother to finish.

No, I don't overlook details.

True, some details deserve attention!

Meaning?

Your ass crack's showing. A real plumber!

Can I tell you a secret?

You know...

I asked Colette to marry me the day I tasted her meatballs.

She was fed tinned food by an absent mother.

I couldn't miss out on someone

who chose life and appetite without having been taught it.

I never told anyone that.

No...

With your 2 left hands

and your amazing voice, how can you be single?

Men must be blind and stupid.

Or maybe single women scare them.

Guys can be so conventional, can't they?

When's Dad joining us?

He's not taking a vacation.

You forgot the choke.

There isn't one, Mom.

There is.

No, that was in Tunis.

C'mon, ladies, we're here!

Ladies!

We'll have a nice fire and a nice soup.

Thanks, Michel!

Mom...

WIPE YOUR FEET DON'T CHEAT!

Chickpea...

I bought you Nutella.

Come on...

Don't sulk. You look like a cooker spaniel!

I'm bored.

Boredom's a luxury.

Hi.

We're lucky with the weather.

Are you on vacation here?

No, I don't have time. I'm just dropping Valérie off.

- I can't stop. - Something wrong with Michel?

No, but I got a call from your mother.

Your mother?

No, from your mother!

She said Rachel was bored. In view of the weather,

I packed a swimsuit and mittens!

Bye, beautiful.

Back to the station, please.

The station?

There's no train till tomorrow.

I see this old lady. Like a grandma but freaky.

She says: "I know you. I know

when you were born, I know everything about you."

She starts crying. I take her in my arms.

I was so uncomfortable.

And just then...

she starts shaking. It's scary.

Why?

She says her daughter died in an accident.

She went under a truck and her head was cut off.

Yuck!

I shivered, 'cause I have a scar on my neck.

Where?

Here, lock.

See it?

Can you see it?

Just there.

Can you see it?

Got you, didn't I?

It worked, didn't it?

Girls, you can leave the table.

C'mon, let's decapitate spiders to make potions!

Are you a widow?

No.

I'm divorced.

My husband was too young to cope with kids.

Did you blame him?

No... It wouldn't have changed anything.

He loved me when he left. I was sad but serene.

You didn't wonder if he was cheating?

It did occur to me, but...

I'd sooner trust people, even if I get let down,

rather than be suspicious.

I'm not as generous as you.

Why do you say that?

You have to be very sure of yourself to stand...

seeing your husband spend his life fixing the kitchen cf a woman...

who is...

seductive and single.

Dc you still love him?

I do my best. I'm not perfect.

I'm not a heroine.

I'm an ordinary woman

who's fattening out...

who doesn't make love, 'cause...

her couple is ageing and...

At least I'm lucid.

So, you know he loves you a lot.

How can you be so sure?

As a single female, I can spot

males who show they're available!

He's not available.

Michel loves you.

Maybe more than you love him.

Michel has his life ahead cf him.

What can happen to surprise a woman like me new?

He could leave you.

Right...

Anyway, my Dad can't have sex with women.

How did they manage to make you, then?

They slept together.

They had sex, then!

No, my Dad can't show anyone his winkie.

Why not?

'Cause of Osvicht.

Who's Osvicht?

You can't understand. It's a place for Jews.

I doubt that.

It is.

Yep!

They're a good influence on each other.

At least they're not bored.

Bye, Colette.

You have great breasts.

- You in love? - Me?

Who with?

My brother.

Yep.

I love your father.

You're insane!

Your hyper-big heart is racing!

Hypertrcphic, Miss Jealous!

Forget it, you don't stand a chance!

Thanks! I don't say you stand no chance with my brother.

'Cause I do stand a chance!

You? No way. Anyway, he has a girlfriend.

'Evening.

Dad!

Did you have a good time?

I need a pee.

Not too long a drive?

195 miles.

Did you hear Coluche's sketch on the radio?

He's great. He'll get himself fired again.

Mind if I turn my back on you?

On the contrary!

Is it me or is it hot?

Pretty...

pickle!

Well?

I can see!

I don't know if it's real.

I see a white goddess

with stunning eyes.

Then, you're cured!

Little Johnny's at school.

The teacher says: "Say A."

He won't.

The teacher says again: "Say A."

He still doesn't want to say A.

Sc, the teacher throws him and his bag cut cf the window.

And he goes: "A-A-A!"

Good joke.

- I'm not hungry. - You're not?

Why not?

Yes, you are. I'm hungry!

Not in front of Rachel!

I don't mind.

Me and Valérie saw Mrs Danielle getting bottom sex

by the gym teacher.

Bottom sex?

Yep!

He pulled her hair cut, and her bra!

Doggie-style.

She sure screamed.

What?

It's not even as bad as Osvicht!

Michel Gladstein speaking.

My daughter witnessed an improper scene.

She saw her schoolteacher

in a very compromising position with the gym teacher.

Believe me, I'm not one to denounce people,

but you must admit

that it's embarrassing.

Sc I'll let you decide what steps you take.

Do you think it’s my fault Mrs Danielle was fired?

No, she sucked the gym teacher’s sock.

Fer husband

buttered her and she lost a tooth.

Battered, not buttered!

What will the tooth fairy bring her?

Dunno. New rabbit-skin panties?!

You’ll never guess what happened to me!

You dated my Dad.

I'm in the hospital!

An appendicitis with a general anesthetic.

I'll be operated on later. Know what I can eat in 3 days?

Creme caramel!

You're so lucky!

Can I come see you?

No, kids aren't allowed.

You're a kid.

Yes, but I'm in pain, my dear!

Do you want to know the bestest thing?

What?

I got roller skates, a Grendizer,

and a De Luxe Petite international typewriter.

If you lend me your De Luxe Petite International typewriter,

I'll fix you up with my Dad.

Fe's ancient history. I love the doctor now.

Fe's the most gorgeous man I know.

Fe could he your father!

So could your father!

Gotta go. Gotta pretend to be asleep to miss the injection.

Bye, gypsy Barbie!

Bye, Mini-Dwarf!

Bye, you old turd!

Bye, sicked-up creme caramel!

Bye, slice of meatball for a pissing cat!

Bye... sticky tadpole with a shriveled-up winkie!

Injection time.

That's very kind, but...

Does it hurt?

Not really.

But it's not very convenient.

I eat purée, soup, minced ham...

I feel like a baby.

Have you tried alphabetti spaghetti?

There's no need to bite it, and you can write words with it.

What kind cf words?

Funny words.

It's not made for writing intellectual novels.

Have you read a lot cf them?

Not many.

Oh, yes, I read "Sissi the Empress".

I saw the film, then they did a bock of it.

"Thithi"...

"Sissi", not "Thithi"!

I can't say it!

Ridiculous!

I see you still have your emergency supplies.

Like in September when you brought a picnic.

You remember?

You don't go unnoticed.

Dear Mrs Trebla,

Mom said that as I don't sleep with my bag now,

I don't need to see you anymore.

When I have little worries now,

I can talk directly to Mom and Dad.

Sc, the man loves the lady very much.

The lady he's married to.

Together they decide to have a hug.

A special hug.

If I'm in love with someone, we can have kids?

Absolutely not.

You must be pubescent.

When?

Around 12.

I can't wait to be 12 to have kids.

Not 12. Not till you're 20.

20!

Why not make her a nun?

16 is OK, honey.

16? Take her to Family Planning!

- 19 maybe. - No, 17.

18!

18.

And at 15?

You abort!

What's "abort"?

It's a complicated word.

I say 22.

Yes, 22 is just fine.

Catherine, how are you? I was going to call you.

How's the little convalescent?

You can't die of an appendicitis.

There were complications.

Fer heart was fragile.

But her doctor could have made her better.

I'm sure he did everything he could.

Where is she now?

She's...

at her Mom’s.

Can I see her?

No.

No, sweetie, you...

you can't see her.

You're too little.

Valérie's too little, too.

Mrs Treble,

I'm sad.

Much sadder than I've ever been since I was very little.

What makes me even sadder...

is that life goes on around me.

Valérie is dead, but it's like nothing happened

and I still feel the breeze blowing on my legs.

Dear Mrs Treble,

I hope Valérie didn't know she was dying

and didn’t have time to he afraid. Even if she was a bit intrepid,

it wasn’t really true when she said she was afraid of nothing.

I'm mainly scared

I'll forget the details of all the things we did together.

I didn't know Valérie for long,

so may he

the only memories I'll have as an adult...

will he the photo of our boobies.

I didn't think you could die as a child.

I thought it'd come much later

when you sort of accept it,

even if it makes you sad.

Mrs Treble, I know Valérie is dead

and I'll never see her again...

but even so, I wanted to ask you...

Does she still exist?

Mrs Delasux... cocks

Cocks, not socks.

THE DANDELIONS

Subtitles: J. Miller

Subtitling: Eclair Or cup - Paris