Original subtitles

-(INDISTINCT TALKING) -(METAL SCRAPING)

HASKELL: It's bloody carnage in there.

(ROBBIE GROANING INDISTINCTLY)

MAN (ON RADIO): Robbie? Are you there, Robbie?

(ROBBIE COUGHING AND GROANING)

(CONTINUES COUGHING)

You've seen nothing, son.

You understand?

Nothing at all.

Now remember that well.

Or I'll come back.

(SIGHS)

(GUN FIRES)

I hear there was blood.

I hear there were all kinds of damn fool things.

An explosion.

-(AIRPLANE WHIRRING IN DISTANCE) -So, what happened?

Will you take a glass?

No, thank you.

Well...

We set up as we said we would.

The van came, we thought we'd jammed the radio,

but then we couldn't cut our way into the bastard thing.

And the explosion?

Things go wrong.

Especially when you do 'em through a third party.

I mean, that friend of yours...

Richard.

I never got enough information, did I?

Are you saying that's my fault?

He's your bloody friend.

Stupid bastard.

Well, that's why I'm here.

Richard's gone, so it's now you and me...

One to one.

Well, that's, uh, simple then.

I need to know more about your side of things.

And what did that stupid bastard Richard tell you about me?

He said you were in national security.

Ministry of Damn Lies.

Nation shall speak falsehood unto nation, that kind of thing.

But it means that I have access to some highly classified information.

Like companies that make deliveries in white vans?

Exactly.

One day, after lunch, I put this company up on the screen.

I didn't come up with much.

They have their own database on site.

The only data we had was personnel.

Personnel, don't you see,

showed me exactly who had knowledge of the security procedures.

Twelve people in all.

And there's a Biblical theory, isn't there,

that with 12 people there's always gonna be one

who's gonna want pieces of silver?

And so it turned out

there was this company director,

and, you know, he thought the good times were still with us.

I mean, he was spending.

There was his wife,

his girlfriend, his girlfriend's Porsche.

Well, something had to give.

And, being British, he went back to his wife, of course.

Trouble was, she made certain conditions

like he had to pay the milk bill and 40 grand's worth of back school fees.

Forty grand?

Bloody hell.

All coming back to you now, is it?

Maybe it was your side of things that went wrong?

What?

Well, that director, he lived quite close to the company.

Back of the Chilterns.

You've got friends down that neck of the woods,

haven't you?

Around Wycombe.

One very good friend, as I've heard it,

who was going to hand over 40 grand in a pub.

-(ORGAN PLAYING) -(CHOIR SINGING)

JOFFREY: I tell you, there was something red coming out the back of that van.

HALLAM: What? JOFFREY: Blood.

JOFFREY: Blood. HALLAM: Lies.

MORTON: Fat boy lies.

JOFFREY: Why do you always say I lie?

Because you always, always do.

There, you see, blood.

More like a broken case of tomato ketchup.

Or illegal immigrants in there eating beetroot and peeing red.

There were these voices. They were saying,

-"It's fucking carnage in there." -All right, Joffrey, that's enough.

Now you're gonna come with me. Carry on.

MELCHIOR: Come.

(KEYPAD BEEPING)

(BEEPS)

(PHONE RINGING)

A1 Escort Agency.

Good afternoon.

(STAMMERS) Yes, uh, I'd like, uh, an attractive escort

for dinner this evening, please.

I'd like someone warm and caring.

Oh, and, uh, discreet.

Absolutely.

All my girls are discreet.

Shall we say the Angel Bar, 7:00?

Fantastic.

My name is Haskell.

Goodbye, Mr. Haskell.

All right, now.

Joffrey, tell me exactly what happened.

-(BELL TOLLING IN DISTANCE) -Well, I was on my run, sir,

and there was this van with...

-With... -With blood coming from it.

What?

Well, he said it was blood, Headmaster.

That's what he told the other boys.

He stuck his finger in it.

Your fingers?

To see if it was blood, sir.

And was it?

Well, the next thing I knew, Headmaster,

was that Joffrey was using all these four letter words

in front of all the other boys.

-Swearing? -MAUNDER: Obscenities.

Well, we can't tolerate that, can we?

I felt you had to know.

-(SCHOOL BELL RINGING) -Oh, Maunder, break's over.

Would you be kind enough to go down to 6A and tell them I'll be a little late?

Of course, Headmaster.

Now, Joffrey...

Would you say we are treating you all right at the moment?

Yes, sir.

And none of your classmates is picking on you?

No, sir.

Well, let's get this over with, shall we?

Now, there are things one can punish a boy for,

and there are things one hopes will sort themselves out on their own.

And not to put too fine a point on it, I hear you tell a great many stories.

There's a vivid imagination at work here.

But you have to understand there is a vast difference

between imagination and downright lying.

I cannot permit lies.

Nor can I permit any boy to use obscenities in school

or anywhere else for that matter.

And I promise you, young man,

if there is the slightest repetition,

then there will be the most severe of punishments.

Understood?

Yes, sir.

Go.

(SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE)

(BEEPING)

(BEEPS)

DALTREY (ON ANSWERING MACHINE): John Daltrey's out at the moment.

If you'd like to leave a message...

Hang on, I'll just get this bloody thing switched off.

HASKELL: John? Johnno?

Who's that?

It's me, your old mate, Haskell.

Hasky?

How are you doing?

Hey, I've just walked in this very minute.

Are you in town?

That's it.

Do you wanna meet up?

Sounds good to me. Sounds like old boys together.

What d'you say we go for a drive and get a bite?

Pick you up in 20 minutes?

Great. I'll be ready.

MAUNDER: I hope you boys realize that it's going to be a rather special

-choir practice this morning. -Oh, yes, sir.

Unbelievably exciting, sir.

Well, it could be because we're going to be choosing

the soloists for the auditions.

-Uh, bit of a formality, I'd say. -Why's that?

Well, sir, modesty forbids, but there's my friend Hallam.

And my friend Morton, sir.

I mean, Mr. Saunders, your associate, sir.

He says we're a very strong team right now.

(SCOFFS)

Hasky, man, we're good mates, aren't we?

Sure we are.

Newcastle job.

Krautland?

We made a few bob there.

Oh, we did, Johnno, we did.

And then when we came back here it was the sweet life,

like you used to say.

What I'm saying is, we've never split up, you and me.

Not even when I got married and moved down this way.

We never split up until last month, Johnno,

when I asked you to do a very small, simple thing.

When I asked you to meet a man in a pub near here,

and give him a parcel.

I mean, what made you open the parcel, Johnno?

What made you think you could dip your greasy little fingers

into somebody else's 40 grand and get away with it?

Reckon 40 was way above local rates, did you?

Didn't you realize that this thing was important?

Maybe you knew this guy?

Friend of yours, was he?

That's it, isn't it, Johnno?

Eh?

Hasky, what I took didn't come out of 40 grand.

It came out of 80.

(JACKSON SINGING)

Good effort, Jackson. Good effort.

Right, as you all know,

the Three Choirs Festival's coming up.

Important stuff.

Good result in the auditions will be riding on this.

Next, Mr. Saunders, I'd like to try Dyson's Magnificat in 'F'.

Thought we'd try a young voice for this, didn't we?

A small voice.

Which means, I presume, Morton or Hallam?

SAUNDERS: No, not them.

No?

Well, I was thinking more in terms of young Joffrey.

MAUNDER: Joffrey?

Yes. I mean, he's been coming along very well,

and at times...

Well, I think there's really something quite special.

Right, Joffrey, it seems we're trying you for this.

But, sir, I... (STAMMERS)

Stop complaining, Joffrey. And just get on with it.

What are we doing here, Hasky? What's going on?

(SIGHS)

-Perhaps that'll help you to remember? -(GROANS)

No. Hasky, no man.

I've done now, man.

Okay.

Ri... River water.

There's, there's a river by this factory.

Factory?

What goes on in this factory?

Top secret things. (STAMMERS) I don't know.

Oh, yes, you do, Johnno.

(GRUNTS)

(COUGHS)

Paper, Hasky.

Paper!

Oh, come, Johnno.

We can do better than that.

Paper, honest, Hasky. Special paper.

I'm listening, and this had better be bloody good.

(WATER BUBBLING)

(GASPS)

For bloody banknotes, man.

Bloody banknotes.

Every forgery in this country is detected for one reason and one reason only,

the paper, watermarks.

I mean, if you get... (COUGHS)

If you get that right, any kid with a, a photocopier, Hasky...

-Right. -(BREATHES HEAVILY)

You're gonna show me where this is.

(PIANO NOTE PLAYING)

♪ My soul doth magnify the Lord

♪ And my spirit hath rejoiced

♪ In God my Savior ♪

HASKELL: This is it?

DALTREY: Look, there's the vans.

That's the river.

Honest, Haskell, I was doing you a favor.

I mean, I found out about this place and nobody knows about it, nobody.

And that's weird.

I mean, it's only 20 minutes outside the town.

Favor?

You didn't do me no favor.

I had to be pretty persuasive, if you remember?

I don't know what got into you, Johnno,

thinking you could get away with a trick like that.

The money, I mean.

You think I've gone soft?

Just 'cause I've got a big house and a swimming pool,

and a gardener and that?

Think you have gone bloody soft, Haskell.

You sure about this bloke you're working for?

Didn't ask too many questions, did you?

I mean, what d'you expect to find when you hit that van?

Bloody dolly mixtures?

(GAGGING)

(MOOING)

(CONTINUES GAGGING)

(HASKELL BREATHES HEAVILY)

-Are you from the escort agency? -(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

Absolutely.

You must be Mr. Haskell.

Hask. Call me Hask.

Would you like a drink?

Mmm.

-Champagne, eh? -Yep.

Very nice.

JULIE: Anyway, so this guy, right,

he gives me hundreds and hundreds of pounds

in 20s from this canvas bag.

All I had to do was strip and lie absolutely naked on the bed.

Nothing to do with sex.

While he stood there, peeled a banana and, and then...

Monsieur, madame?

Monsieur, mademoiselle.

What are your specials?

The Gigot d'agneau en croute is excellent,

not to mention the Canard a l'orange.

But the chef has surpassed himself this evening

with his Pintadeau au vinaigre.

It's a difficult choice, sir.

You like, uh, lamb...

-Julie. -Julie.

Yeah, yeah. Absolutely.

Lamb, twice.

Comme boisson, monsieur?

-Comme what? -(CHUCKLES)

To drink, sir?

Uh, Chateau Margot '67.

Sir.

And make sure it's cold.

-(CHUCKLES) Do you know what? -What?

I think you've upset him.

Well, deep down, I'm a chicken and chips man.

(CHUCKLES) Actually, he reminds me of another strange thing that happened.

Oh? Am I ready for this?

Well, you did ask me.

-All right, go on, go on. -Right.

Well, just last week there was this lord,

but I can't tell you his name 'cause it's top secret.

Anyway, he's got this thing for fur coats and whipped cream.

So, I turn up on his doorstep, got absolutely nothing on underneath,

red lipstick, high heels,

I ring the doorbell,

I'm absolutely petrified, the door opens, I flush, and guess what?

(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

Decant it.

-What? -(CHUCKLES) It's his chauffeur.

(BOTH LAUGH)

So, you still got that fur coat?

Um, I might have.

-I've got some whipped cream. -(BOTH LAUGH)

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

Often the men I meet...

They don't want a woman.

They want an object.

Do they?

I must seem very dull.

Feelings mean nothing.

Do this, do that.

Be this, be that.

(SOBBING)

They're paying, I suppose, why should I expect anything else?

What's the matter?

Sometimes I wonder, you know?

A person like you ringing up...

I wonder what you expect.

Well, me, uh, I just like to, uh, meet and go out

with nice ladies.

Have a pleasant evening,

good conversation.

-Like, you know, like tonight. -(SIGHS)

So often it starts out nice.

(SIGHS)

Who knows?

Maybe you are different from the others.

Absolutely.

-(WATER SPLASHES) -HASKELL: Ow!

Oh, bloody hell!

This is hot!

This is really bloody hot!

-Ow! -Oh, shit.

Oh, it comes out nearly boiling. Look, put it under the cold tap.

What are you, a nurse?

Yeah.

-You were, really? -Yes, really.

-A real nurse? -Yes, really.

-(BOTH CHUCKLE) -Aren't I the lucky one?

(LAUGHS)

(CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY)

Uh, excuse me.

I... I don't believe we've met.

I'm Bridget.

How do you do?

Well, I can't shake but, um, well the drinks are over there.

-Do mingle. -Thank you.

Good grief. Well, hello, old boy.

I didn't think you'd be able to come. What a nice surprise.

Uh, do you know, uh, Peter?

Uh, we have to talk now.

Well, of course, old boy.

Whatever you say.

(DOOR SQUEAKING)

What the hell are you doing here?

It's my wife's birthday, for goodness sake.

It's about £80,000

when you were only talking about 40.

Can't think what you're on about.

And it's about...

Paper.

For the Bank of England.

Who told you about that?

I paid a visit on the man in Wycombe

who did the handover.

What does he know?

Oh, quite a lot.

But he won't make any more trouble.

He's dead.

You killed him?

The white van full of paper for the Bank of England...

What's the payload?

Four tons.

Which is?

A ton of paper equals one million banknotes.

So, if you're talking high denomination notes, it's...

Oh, I am, yeah.

Then you've got paper worth £110,000,000.

Where do you, uh, figure in all this?

I mean, you're not exactly "pushed."

I like the good things in life, yes.

Like to park my '34 Phantom

next to all those Tupperware Rolls Royces at Goodwood.

Like to keep the yacht down at Cannes.

I like Glyndebourne when the Americans aren't there.

I like Henley when the Americans aren't there.

Listen, the jollies are over.

Where's the Lloyd syndicate that can guarantee you 250K a year?

Where's the word of a gentleman anymore?

Where indeed.

(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

JOFFREY: Oi! Up here!

How's this for the fat boy?

Well, I'd wanted it to be a surprise,

but what with Richard going off like that in a huff to Bermuda,

I had to make all the arrangements myself.

With Peter's help, of course.

Higgi, I'm sure it's terribly extravagant.

You should have spent the money on a new roof,

but I know which I'd prefer to have.

(EXCLAIMS)

(INAUDIBLE)

Very, very, very fluent.

-That's terrific. -Yeah, uh, really nice.

Good.

It's so beautiful.

I can't believe you kept the surprise.

-Ah. -Bridget, happy birthday.

-Oh, thank you. It is now. -Well done, Peter.

-This is Frank Jarby. -Hi, nice to meet you.

-How are you? -Sir Charles and Lady Landon-Higgins.

-Hi, nice of you to come down personally. -That's okay.

Well, Hugo, what d'you think?

Looks okay to me.

Showing a lot of promise.

He's won a couple of point-to-points.

LANDON-HIGGINS: He's by "Mon Capitain" out of "Jersey Flame."

He's got a nice walk to him.

(INAUDIBLE)

Isn't that your friend from Bridget's party?

Wearing the bloody awful orange tie.

Seems to be following you around.

What on earth...

Back in a moment. I'll get rid of him.

(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

PETER: I think he's a nice horse...

Schooled him the other day and he scored really, really well.

And, uh, good manners...

(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

I thought we discussed all this yesterday.

What is it now, for God's sake?

The factory where you got that database file on personnel, remember?

Remember?

Remember?

May I remind you, last time we came up with a company director

who got paid a whole lot less than he should've.

Result, he wet his knickers

and became highly visible to the authorities.

He's now in jail.

That's history.

-There are others on that file. -Like who?

Drivers, van drivers.

They make decisions out on the road. They know that security system.

Drivers?

Don't think I haven't thought of them.

They're all high security indexed.

They're all screened.

Each one comes with a gilt-edged clearance certificate.

And they have to renew their HGV license every couple of years.

Which means a medical.

Get it?

Medical records?

Okay, okay, I hear you.

You've made your point.

Leave it with me.

"The jollies are over", isn't that what you said?

Now, get it sorted, and quick.

Otherwise you can kiss all this goodbye.

And, let's face it,

you never know where I might come from next.

Seems a strange bugger, Higgi.

(CAR ENGINE STARTS)

Grocer class, I'm afraid, Peter.

No sense of timing.

Well, now, back to the important things in life.

MELCHIOR: By the way, how's young Joffrey doing?

MAUNDER: No more stories about, uh, white vans or gangsters?

(CHUCKLES) No.

Oh, there's good news, Headmaster.

I received a fax from the committee in London this morning.

Seems we're on the short list.

Down to the last three.

Excellent news.

So, when do we get the final decision?

We should hear within the next fortnight.

And if we win?

Oh, there'll be the broadcast, of course.

But it'll be the record sales that will hopefully bring in the revenue.

Put the school back on the map again.

Entry applications are well down for the Michaelmas term.

Then there's the restoration.

Goodness knows we need everything we can get.

-Fingers crossed. -(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)

Well, I've got the Lower Sixth for Greek now.

Excuse me.

(AIRPLANE WHIRRING IN DISTANCE)

(WOMAN GROANING ON TV)

I can set that up for you for real tomorrow night.

(GASPS)

Who the hell are you?

Brought you a message from the office.

Like hell you have. What the hell do you... (GRUNTS)

What I wanna know is,

what happened to all that big money you've been earning?

(GRUNTS)

Not to mention the 27 grand severance pay.

(GRUNTS)

You've had a medical, haven't you?

(GROANS)

How long did they say you've got?

Three months, six months top... (GRUNTS)

You keep watching those and you won't last that long.

I was doing the job, picking up my money and having these pains every now and then.

Stomach pains.

Up comes the time for my medical.

I thought they'd put me on a diet, eggs, fish and all that stuff.

I came out of there like a door fell on me.

Yeah? What was the matter?

Asymptomatic cardio-vascular something or other.

Christ, I was 42 and I was down for this heart operation.

Then the bad pain started.

Got so bad I had to tell her.

They got me into hospital for tests...

(DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE)

Every day I rang her to ask her to come and see me.

-Asked her? -The wife.

She can't take hospitals, she can't. (CHUCKLES)

Oh, she was scared.

She was scared of the future.

Or lack of it.

Told me the operation was gonna be touch and go.

Well, it got kind of crazy.

Lying there alone,

I got to thinking about her and how it was with her,

how we never had any kids.

How we had a damned great mortgage.

Just discharged myself.

Said no to the operation, no to every bloody thing.

No?

Got in a taxi, went down to the building society.

Got everything out I had, savings, the lot.

Gave it all to her.

-Got the hell out. -Right.

I'm dying.

What the hell. (CHUCKLES)

What about tomorrow night?

You want me to fix up something for you?

What do you want from me?

Simple.

-Liney. -Hask. How you doing?

Great.

Listen, the car's over there,

but I wanna talk to you first 'cause I've got this bloke with me.

Who?

Ex-security guard, retired on medical grounds.

Christ, Hask, where the hell d'you find him?

Ah, that's my business.

No more balls ups.

Too right.

As far as I can understand it,

the whole bloody vehicle's one big computer.

They've encrypted everything, so, we'd never break the codes

even if we could track the messages.

-Well, that's that, then. -(TRAIN APPROACHING)

No, listen.

They've got transmitters every few miles along the road.

-Every few miles? -Yeah.

Cover most of the country.

Must have cost them a bloody fortune.

No, no, they, they rent from a network that's already in place.

Mobile phones.

-Simple. -Yeah.

Let's get to the car before that bloke gets restless.

(BEEPING)

HASKELL: You drive.

I'll take that.

The name's Liney.

Sociable he's not.

So, what's with the hearing aid?

-Yupi. -What's that?

Yupi. Yupiteru, make of scanner.

That's what we called it.

Used to use it to check the radio signals on the runs.

Forgot to give it in when I, uh, retired.

Trouble is, the batteries are on the blink.

LINEY: Do we have to come this way?

HASKELL: Well, it's his idea.

Make a phone call.

-What? Who to? -Anyone you like.

(PHONE KEYPAD BEEPS)

No service.

Still the same then. We used to call this the "Shadow Run."

Well...

(STAMMERS) I don't get it.

All this space age communication?

(WOMAN SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)

A "hole", yeah?

A black hole where no one can phone in or out.

So much for your bleedin' hi-tech.

When I was on the vans, we came this way,

what, one trip in 20?

This radio signal was timed again and again.

It came out three minutes tops.

-Yeah, but if... -What can happen in three minutes

in broad daylight in city streets?

HASKELL: Yeah, well, so where does this, uh, shadow thing end?

LARCOMBE: Back at those traffic lights we just passed.

Try another phone call.

-(KID SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY) -(PHONE KEYPAD BEEPING)

Still no service,

and we're way past where you said, so what the hell has happened?

The shadow's got bigger. It's much bigger.

And our three minutes radio silence, has that got bigger?

We'll have to find out.

If I had some batteries I could check it.

-Oi, bugger off. -(GRUNTS)

God!

This is a choristers only meeting.

Nothing to do with you girls.

Come back when you're 18 or 19.

HALLAM: Yeah, preferably in rubber.

Oh, you're disgusting, Hallam.

Come on, Victoria, there's nothing we can do.

Oh, for God's sake, it's so unfair!

(ENGINE TURNS OFF)

(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

All those sheets of metal.

The scaffolding, that's what's doing it.

It's getting in the way of the signal, knocking it all to hell.

Yeah, what size batteries you want?

6AA.

Make sure they're alkaline.

All right.

Batteries?

-SHOP KEEPER: Batteries, sir? There, sir. -Batteries are over there.

-Is that the smallest you've got? -No, it's all I've got, sorry.

Well, what they give kids these days for pocket money.

Take for these and I'll cover the Mars bars.

And that. Okay?

SHOP KEEPER: Thank you.

Save your money for a rainy day, son.

Thank you.

We have a little arrangement.

Remember?

Practically knock your eyes out.

We want something real.

In here, we're watched over 24 hours a day.

So what about the holidays?

Talking about girls.

I saw this girl on the beach.

Where?

Spain.

My father took me there.

-It's lies. -Shut up, Hal.

But it's lies, Mort.

Why on earth?

For the simple reason he told me that he went to Cornwall.

Don't you see, everything he says, Spain, everything.

The white van with the blood, it's all lies.

And the gangster with the Mercedes?

As a matter of fact...

What?

I saw that man again.

I reckon he's come back for something.

And I reckon he's looking for it here,

and he wants me to help him.

Prove it.

Prove it.

There, see, he can't.

Come on, time for a bit of knockabout before double chem.

(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

I'll take that, Joffrey.

What is this filth, eh?

Whose is this?

Mort... Uh, nobody's, sir.

Bullying the girls is bad enough, but this!

You see me after school.

(DOOR CLOSES)

-Come on, fat boy. Come on. -Come on.

-Keep running. -Come on.

-That's it, yeah, come on, nearly there. -Come on.

-Keep running. -Come on.

What was it this time, fat boy?

-Lies again. -Oh, shut up.

-Best thing for him. -Shut up.

He needs the exercise.

-Come on. -Come on, up the hill, get going.

-Go on, up the hill. -Come on, boy.

-Go on. -Get those legs pumping.

-Come on. -Go on, get those legs...

-Come on. -You're nearly there.

LARCOMBE: Keep going.

Can you walk in a shop

and just buy one of those over the counter?

-Mmm. -And it picks up mobile phones?

LARCOMBE: No, I missed it.

Go forward again.

(BEEPING)

That's it. (CLEARS THROAT)

That's your radio shadow.

-Are you sure? -LARCOMBE: We're 200 yards in.

Two hundred and fifty.

We've got it.

(ENGINE STARTS)

LARCOMBE: Yeah, this is it.

You've done well to find all this.

Yeah, I think this will be ideal.

Well, no more toys, it's all for real now.

This is where it all gets ugly.

And it's gonna happen to guys you worked with.

And I reckon that since we met you've been trying to figure out a way

of doing this without anyone getting hurt.

Well, you can kiss that idea goodbye.

When we met in that crap room of yours and talked money,

we made a deal.

What's that supposed to mean?

It means

that you belong to me now, sunshine.

And don't you bloody well forget it.

Complete radio blackout.

No one's gonna call for help from here.

LINEY: Get the van in there easy.

I don't understand you, Joffrey.

Last time, it was wild stories about blood using obscenities.

Now it's bullying the girls.

Where will it end?

-I'm sorry, I didn't do it. It wasn't me. -Now that's enough!

Now, when all this happened before, we agreed something, didn't we?

-Yes, sir. -If there was any repetition,

it would lead to the most severe consequences.

Now, what have you got to say?

Nothing, sir. It wasn't me, sir.

Nobody has been expelled from this school since I have been headmaster,

but if this goes on...

Sit down, Joffrey.

Now, these stories that you tell,

they all began with, uh, well, family problems, didn't they?

I mean your father.

Now, I'm not here to stand in judgment.

As far as I'm concerned your father is an amusing man, a nice man.

But even the best of us can get led astray.

We make ill-judged decisions,

and sometimes the price we have to pay for these mistakes

can be, well, very high.

Unfortunately, it's the toll it takes on those people left behind

that's hard to reckon with.

But they just have to deal with it as best they can.

Sometimes it's easier to talk about these things

rather than leave them bottled up inside.

Well, if you ever feel you need to, I'm always here.

When's your birthday?

HASKELL: October 28th.

Let's see.

Ooh, Scorpio.

"An assertive approach will help you to get what you want.

"A difficult aspect to Mars could make you a little aggressive,

"however, so be careful not to go over the top."

Oh, I like this bit.

"A romantic liaison will go well but you may be a little uncertain

"about how you want the relationship to proceed." (CHUCKLES)

They got that part wrong for a start.

-Do you believe that rubbish? -No.

But every now and again they get it right.

(KISSES)

Tell me, that, that number I called tonight...

You know, the one you gave me at dinner the other evening, right?

Well, that's, that's the same number as the escort agency.

So?

So? Is the A1 Escort Agency a bit short-staffed or something?

I can't afford to pay the commission.

When the divorce came through he jumped ship.

Disappeared without a trace.

Oh, I got judgment but what was the use?

Emma, that's my little girl, she was at private school.

She was doing well.

I mean, what with that and trying to keep the flat on,

I didn't have much choice.

I needed everything I could get.

Listen, we could help each other here.

How?

-You said you were a nurse once, right? -Yeah.

Well, I have this very old friend who's not feeling very well.

(STAMMERS) He's a bit down and I'm really worried about him.

Now, obviously you, you'd need the time...

Bloody cheek, Haskell.

Who the hell d'you think I am, being passed from pillar to post?

Blimey, I mean, I might be skint, but I'm not that desperate.

Yeah, well...

Just a thought.

Baz, Jacko, good to see you.

Now, we're meeting Hask in half an hour, so, jump in the van.

Now, Hask is absolutely fired up,

so make sure you've got your brains in gear.

Go on.

Nah, they do you proud here, don't they?

They certainly do.

The thing I need to know is the, uh, shadow area.

The, uh, radio shadow.

We found that to be over five times larger, didn't we?

Yup.

Which means that the, the blackout's gonna be for, well...

Not far short of 20 minutes.

Right.

So no-one's gonna send a security van that way, are they?

Not in a million years.

No.

But I told you, didn't I?

This van is one big computer.

Yeah?

So it can only go where the computer tells it to.

-Well? -Look, for example...

(CLEAR THROATS) Couple of months back

they had road works here, pipe-laying it was.

Then this street market suddenly went seven days a week,

re-surfacing here, a new motorway spur here.

But what you've got to understand is, you've gotta be creative.

The computer can only work with what you put into it,

so with enough routes knocked out what choice does it have?

Arrange something here, here, here,

and across the country route here,

and Bob's your uncle it's gotta take the shadow run.

I'm gonna leave you on your own for a little while.

These friends of mine are down here.

We're gonna move about a little bit.

-Don't worry about me. -But I do.

All this crap that you eat.

Your doctor said your cholesterol was the highest...

(LAUGHING) My doctor...

I'm feeling better all the time. I'm feeling full of it.

-D'you know what I mean? -No, I don't.

Well, if you're thinking of getting a baby-sitter, make sure he's got tits.

We'll see.

HASKELL: That's what does the business.

We know exactly where the shadow goes and how long we've got.

We get the van as it comes this way.

Very impressive.

As it happens, I've got a little news item too.

Oh, what's that?

Summer hols are coming.

The Costas, Benidorm, and all that.

So what else is new?

There are preparations to bankrupt the working class.

I thought they'd already done that.

(PEOPLE CHATTERING IN BACKGROUND)

When?

They keep that quiet till the day before.

But it's gotta be sometime next week.

(CHATTERING CONTINUES)

There you are, Joffrey.

I've been looking everywhere for you.

Don't you know I've been sent to Coventry?

Where?

Never mind.

VICTORIA: Coventry?

JOFFREY: Well, it's just a phrase really.

All it means is that... I'm not supposed

to talk to anybody 'cause I tell lies, but I don't.

What, like how you're supposed to be helping that man?

With the big Mercedes car?

Yeah, but that one is true, and I can prove it.

There, see?

Wow, £50! Huh, cool.

Shouldn't have shown you anyway.

You ratted to Maunder.

Oh, I didn't mean you.

I meant the others.

I hate that Hallam.

-It's all his fault. -I suppose so.

Anyway, how's it going with the violin?

Oh, it's okay. I'm on grade four now.

D'you think you'll make the school orchestra?

If I can play as well as you can sing, I would.

D'you believe in the devil?

No.

-But if I did, he'd look just like Hallam. -Yeah, I suppose.

Or the man who gave me the £50 note.

Anyway, my mom says if you're interested in girls, you're headed straight for hell.

Just like my dad.

Tell me about your father.

JOFFREY: Nothing to say, really. Suddenly he wasn't there any more.

And when I asked her, well, all she said was he's gone away for a while.

Then men used to come to the door asking questions.

And then I found the newspaper cutting.

VICTORIA: What did it say?

"Merchant banker gets five years on dealing charge."

-What does that mean? -Insider dealing.

It's something to do with stocks and shares.

Anyway, he's in prison now.

VICTORIA: Oh, how awful.

I suppose so.

(SIGHS) Are we actually going into the courtyard?

Yeah, we'll see my sister.

You haven't met her yet, have you?

Here, what're you doing?

This, Joffrey, is a kissing game.

So?

Come on.

Come and see the library.

I'll give you a tour 'round the house.

Here comes Zee.

Oh, right.

-Zee. -Hi, there.

This is Joffrey.

Joffrey, you must have another name.

-Edward. -Right.

Edward Joffrey, what a lovely name.

Oh, leave it out, Zee. The party isn't on till tonight.

What do you mean?

I'm sure Joffrey would love to come for a ride with me.

-He doesn't. -Why ever not?

He looks quite athletic.

He's ever so good-looking.

VICTORIA: Very athletic.

You know I'm athletic as well.

I play lacs.

-Sorry, lacs? -Mmm.

It's a game that girls like me enjoy.

Come on, Edward, we'll go inside and see

if we can find anything you can wear tonight.

About what your sister said.

-What about? Oh, yeah. -You know, about lacs?

-What is it? -Horses.

-ZEE: Yes, thank you. -Don't listen to anything she says.

She's got her mind on other things.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

JOFFREY: Can I ask you something? ZEE: Yes.

-It's about lacs. -Yes?

-What is it? -It's the most wonderful

game in the world.

JOFFREY: How d'you play it?

-Lacs? -Yes.

It's fast. It's furious.

And if you play well, you score...

I have some news. Get in.

(SIGHS)

Help yourself to the tissues.

(SIGHS)

The day after tomorrow.

What time?

It leaves the factory at 09:45.

You didn't come all this way just to tell me that.

Didn't I?

(HORN HONKING)

It's mucky here.

Maybe you should stick to something you know.

It's good to talk in person.

Remember, I've got an awful lot of money invested in you.

You have.

Fifty metal cases to be left in a certain lock-up as per agreement.

What is this? Some little serious chairman's report?

Oh, no.

It's all jolly and idle, and roses round the door.

Don't underestimate me just 'cause I don't get my hands dirty.

No.

You let other people get their hands dirty for you.

Exactly.

And if one of them makes a mistake,

I can hire ten more to make him regret it.

Rich or poor...

You only live once.

HASKELL: How is he?

Behaving himself?

Yeah.

All he wants to do is talk.

Is that right?

Really.

He's the last of the romantics.

He wants love.

Family.

He keeps asking about my little girl.

And he talks about himself, too.

Like he's, uh, down here with you

and it's something to do with, urn, radio reception over by the motorway?

Julie...

When I first came to you, I phoned your boss.

At least that's who I thought I was talking to.

Remember?

And I asked for a lady friend who was discreet.

D'you know what discreet means?

It means erasing from your mind

everything you know about our friend next door.

It also means

cutting this hotel off your visiting list.

-(CHUCKLES) -Julie...

I am deadly serious.

All right?

You bastard.

MORTON: Sit down, Victoria.

What the hell's going on?

Gentlemen, we are gathered here today

to mete out justice in the sad case of Miss Victoria Robertson.

I put it to you, gentlemen,

that not only did Victoria see fit to run,

telling tales to the common room,

thus causing the wrath of Maunder to descend...

Fortunately for her, only on the fat boy...

But she then took it upon herself

to invite him out for the weekend, knowing him to be in Coventry.

Shameful behavior.

What say you, gentlemen.

Hear, hear.

Well, Victoria, what do you have to say for yourself?

It's so unfair.

You're always picking on him.

Why can't you just leave him alone?

You don't know half of it.

Meaning what?

No, I can't tell you. I promised him.

But you can, and you must, Victoria.

Or do we have to use a little persuasion?

You do what you like. It won't make any difference to me.

Well, it's a shame it had to come to this.

Give me that, it's mine.

-Give it to me! -Sit back.

Give it to me, it's mine.

Give it to me.

Leave me alone, give it to me.

All right, it's his father.

He's in jail.

(SCOFFS)

Son of a jailbird... Says it all.

Shut up, Hallam, that's where you'll be one day.

Yeah, leave it out, Hal.

Anything else you feel you should tell us, Victoria?

That's why I took him away...

To get him away from you lot.

I only wanted to help him.

And then he told me that he was in love with my sister.

(LAUGHING) But she's 17!

She seduced him into a game that she played.

Lacs, she called it.

Well, he didn't know, did he?

You mean lacrosse, like hockey?

Yeah, well, he didn't understand.

He thought it was something sexy or something.

She said that she'd phone him up.

I see.

So can I have my violin back?

Uh, not just yet, Victoria.

Bit of an insurance policy.

We just might need your kind cooperation again.

(SLAMS)

Yeah, that's great.

Oh, you look terrific. Look, just, uh, just, just lick your lips.

Yeah.

Okay, now, to me.

To the camera.

Right into the camera.

Ah, yes.

Sorry, I'm... I'm not interrupting anything here, am I?

Give me a minute.

Only one, mind.

A little extra-curricular activity, eh, nurse?

Are you hard of hearing?

When we talked the other day,

was I using too long of words?

Look, it's not what you think.

He rang earlier. Sounded terrible.

Asked me to come over and help him.

I'm glad you wore the uniform.

Wouldn't want to give the people in the hotel the wrong impression.

(SIGHS) Listen...

I was out of order the other day.

Definitely.

I haven't eaten, and I've had the worst day.

Remember that lamb we had the other night at that place?

It's all right, huh?

What do you say we try the duck?

-Eh? -(CHUCKLES)

You never know before, do you?

Like it only takes a couple of things to go wrong.

(CHUCKLES)

You can say that again.

No, I mean when I got divorced.

I couldn't believe it.

Word got round that I was broke and all these guys kept having a go.

(SIGHS)

God, some of his friends... Some of mine.

You can say what you like about escort work,

but I tell you, one in 20, no one in 50s like him, your friend.

-D'you know that? -Oh.

He's taking us on a trip. Me and my little girl.

And not just a trip. A cruise.

We were gonna go down to the agents to pay tomorrow,

and he suddenly remembered that you and he had this business out near some airfield.

Willby, is it?

Willbye.

(GASPS)

(GRUNTS)

(CHOKES)

Well, that just about wraps it up.

Baz is on the road keeping in touch with the vehicle.

Jacko's down on the roundabout.

And you and me, Hask, we're back at the old airfield.

I'll show you a miracle of modern science.

-(SIREN WAILING) -(INDISTINCT VOICES CHATTERING)

So where does that leave us?

I'll show you. Get in the car.

(PHONE RINGING)

-A girl called Zee on the phone. -Zee, on the phone?

-Yeah. -Thank you.

-Hello? -Edward.

Edward, it's me.

It's Zee.

-Yes, Edward, it's me. -Zee?

You must prove your love for me, Edward.

Edward Joffrey, you must.

Okay.

And I can show you how to play

some of that lacs.

Edward, now listen.

This is what you must do.

(WHISPERING) Something really brave.

Really dangerous.

Okay.

Thank you.

You see, down here,

in this area, thanks to all the, uh,

junk on that cathedral, there is complete radio silence in this whole area.

MAN (ON RADIO): Golf Four, much obliged.

I'll show you dealing.

Whose section is it actually on? M3, over.

-I think this is... -Get back in the car.

Look, when we were here before,

there were all those metals plates being welded up top. Right?

Tell you the truth, I don't remember.

Well, there were.

So, what's that got to do with us?

Don't you see? The radio signals...

It wasn't the crane,

they were being deflected off the metal plates.

So?

So, now they're flat down on the roof,

they're letting all the signals in instead of deflecting 'em off.

-HASKELL: So we're in the shit? -Not necessarily.

What you've gotta do is get somebody up top on the roof

and make sure the crane stays up there until it does the business.

-But without an expert... -What, no expert?

Liney, you used to be in the building, didn't you?

You told me you was on the cranes and the scaffolding.

He'll go up. It's all right. Okay?

Leave it out, Hask. That was 20 years ago.

Yeah, but you told me you, you was up

on cranes in the scaffolding, in the building trade.

Yeah, driving it. Not swinging on the end of a hook.

-Have you seen it? -Yes, Headmaster, but...

I mean, quite apart from the banner itself,

how on earth did he get it up there?

Well, the verger says the construction foreman borrowed the key

and, well, he must have forgotten to lock the door.

I've been very patient with that boy.

I've listened to his outrageous stories.

I've overlooked his use of obscenities

and, goodness knows, I've tried to make allowances for his family problems.

But that's it!

I've warned him about expulsion and now there seems to be no alternative.

But, Headmaster, I beg you not to do anything precipitous, not just yet.

He's the best voice we have, really outstanding.

Vital if we are to have a place or a chance in the festival.

Besides...

Besides what?

Well, Headmaster, I suspect that's exactly what he wants.

To be expelled?

Well, it's no secret that his classmates give him a very rough time

testing him, teasing him about his size.

Getting him into trouble at every opportunity.

Look, I know he's not the most popular boy in the school.

Well, even I treated him unfairly the other day.

I sent him on a run after one of the girls reported being bullied.

It seems Joffrey had nothing to do with it.

Now, being expelled would save him from all of that.

You're right, of course.

Expelling him is not the answer.

If we can't control the way our pupils behave to one another,

it only reflects badly on us.

But I can't just turn a blind eye.

Would you tell Joffrey to come and see me in my study

after choir practice this evening?

Yes, Headmaster.

No chance, mate.

It's like Fort Knox. You'll never get over that lot.

Slice your balls off.

Easy. You go from the inside and over the roof.

Well, how're you gonna get back down? Grow wings like an angel?

Use your eyes.

Look, there's ladders.

Then all we've gotta do is find the door.

Well, it's bound to be locked, innit?

Locked? You can open a lock, Liney.

-Not medieval ones. -Okay, jemmy it.

What with? Semtex? They used to build 'em strong in those days.

Anyway, someone's chancing their arm, aren't they?

Mad love-sick bastard.

If he can get up there, so can we.

Come on, Liney, my son.

We are going to Evensong.

(CHOIR SINGING)

If we're gonna find the door, we'd best split up.

If it comes to any climbing...

It's down to you, right?

Of course.

(CHOIR CONTINUES SINGING)

Right. Once in Royal David's City, everybody.

First verse, Joffrey.

Joffrey.

Do we have your attention?

♪ Once in royal

♪ David's city

♪ Stood a lowly

♪ Cattle shed

♪ Where a mother

♪ Laid her baby

♪ In a manger

♪ For His bed

♪ Mary was

♪ That mother mild

♪ Jesus Christ

♪ Her little child ♪

-I'm sorry, sir, the cathedral is closed. -Eh?

It's 7:30. The cathedral is closed.

-But I, uh, I need to pray. -I'm sorry.

I'm sure God will hear you just as well outside as He would in.

You'll have to go, I'm locking up.

(ORGAN PLAYING)

(ORGAN CONTINUES PLAYING)

(THUDS)

(CLANKING)

(ENGINE STARTS)

(RATTLING)

(THUDS)

(GLASS BREAKING)

(HISSING)

(WHIRRING)

(WHIRRING)

This is worth more than £50, son.

Put that down.

Come on.

(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

Hello, Liney.

What's all this?

This young man has been very helpful to me

up at the tower.

You haven't got £100 on you, have you?

No, I haven't, no.

Well I... I got some money back at the hotel.

Get in the car, son.

Move over.

And back.

Maunder!

Stop it, stop it!

You listen to me, all of you.

Joffrey's gone missing from this school.

Oh, but that's no surprise to you, is it?

Because you're responsible.

You're bullies, all of you.

Just because his father isn't rich or influential,

just because he's a scholarship boy,

do you think that gives you the right to treat him like dirt?

What have you done with him?

Where is he?

(WATER TRICKLING)

(ENGINE WHIRRING)

Nice day for it.

Whatever turns you on, I suppose.

NANNY: Come on, you buggers.

I'm waiting for a route.

Should have started two minutes ago.

Hang on, Nanny. Looks like we've got a route change.

Oh, great.

And we haven't even started.

Here, look at that.

Burst water main.

So that's two routes knocked out straight off.

Best go over the hill route, Nanny, then we've got a better choice.

I'll patch it into the computer.

(BEEPS)

They safe in there?

The way you got that car wired up?

Unless your asthmatic friend's Harry bloody Houdini, they're safe.

Well, didn't he tell you?

He's going on a cruise with his nurse.

She's gone on ahead and he's gonna follow her.

It's the waiting gets me.

Last time we were on the road, it was all right.

And look how that turned out. A bloody disaster.

How's the kid?

Petrified. Didn't sleep a wink.

Mind you, he thinks you're the cat's whiskers.

Doesn't like school, though.

And the police are out in force.

They must have discovered he's gone missing.

Well, it could be a good thing.

Keep 'em occupied.

Check on the inside, make sure everything's all right.

-We don't want another balls up. -Right.

I simply don't know what we're going to do, Headmaster.

Joffrey is singing two solos and the finale.

Well, Mr. Sorley felt he'd come on so well

that we couldn't afford not to use such a splendid voice.

Now, come on, Maunder. You agreed, too.

Gentlemen, we need a solution, not an argument between members of staff.

Now what about the, "Terrible twosome?"

(SIGHS) Morton's voice is almost breaking.

Very unreliable on the higher notes.

And Hallam can't be expected to learn all of that by tonight. It's impossible.

Look, in the very unlikely event

-that Joffrey is not... -Excuse me, sir.

Joffrey is not among us again by this evening,

well, there's Jones, there's Winterbottom minor...

-But, Headmaster... -They've both got reasonable voices.

Even Weller. Well, maybe not.

Look, I know I can rely on you to come up with some sort of solution.

Morton... Hallam, Weller, come here.

Quickly!

Dyson.

Dyson's Magnificat in 'F'.

Now one of you is going to have to sing that, unless we find Joffrey.

NANNY: What the hell is it this time?

Just waiting for the printout, Nanny.

Looks like Brinsmead's out.

Lorry shed its load.

Turn left at the war memorial...

And go through Upper Stanton.

Then you can get straight on to the motorway.

Plain sailing from there.

Stop!

(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)

You'll have to go that way. Go back.

Come on, Mike. Let's get on. Move it, move it.

We'll catch up with them later.

(ENGINE ROARING)

Let's go, let's go!

You know what this means, don't you?

Yes, Nanny, I do.

This means cathedral city.

(HORN HONKING)

Cable cut!

Jesus Christ.

Renwick, Maynard.

We're being hijacked for Christ's sake.

The brake!

They're cutting through the electrics.

Can't you hear me?

Brake cut. Let's go.

Renwick, Maynard.

-We're being hijacked. -Hit the emergency.

Well, I would if I could find the blasted thing.

Mayday! Mayday! Baker Six, Mayday!

-Baker... -We're being hijacked for Christ's sake.

Can't you damn well hear us?

There's no logic to it.

We're nowhere near the bloody shadow.

(WHIRRING)

Oh, Jesus, it's Nanny.

It's never gonna work this way.

So what you saying?

What you gonna do?

I thought we agreed.

Desperate situations...

(PANTING)

You, get up and fix it.

Joffrey, get the hell out. And run.

See that?

Three minutes. Okay?

Three minutes. Three minutes.

Three minutes, Liney.

The unlock code. What's your all-fired best?

Two minutes twenty.

Then we're out of here. No problem at all.

No, no, you've got to go through the sequence.

Why don't they unlock?

Three minutes. Was that enough?

Tight.

How tight?

Company policy.

We have to put them at risk.

For God's sake let me out!

No can do, Nanny.

You know bloody well, we've gotta go through the sequence.

No, not that.

The doors, man, the doors!

(BEEPING)

Get in the front, son.

(ENGINE STARTS)

(BEEPING CONTINUES)

Are you all right, sir?

Yeah.

(ENGINE ROARING)

What's your name, son?

Joffrey, sir.

We're friends, aren't we, Joffrey?

Yes, sir.

And friends trust each other, don't they?

Yes, sir.

You see this?

I'm gonna give you this

as a token of our friendship and trust.

Which means that any secrets we have

are just between you and me.

Okay?

Yes, sir.

Thank you, sir.

(ENGINE ROARING)

(CAR ENGINE STARTS)

I know it's out of season.

Terribly unsporting.

Figured you might have some more of your rough justice to dispense.

Ah, yes.

Just as I expected.

Couldn't keep your grubby little hands off the booty.

I knew I'd have to get rid of you anyway.

Far too dangerous for a man in my position.

Argh!

Joffrey?

He's not said a word, sir. Not a word.

Thank you, Superintendent.

Will he be able to sing, sir?

We're in God's hands.

Or yours if he doesn't.

Follow me.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

♪ My soul doth

♪ Magnify thy Lord

♪ And my spirit hath rejoiced

in God my Savior

♪ For he hath regarded

♪ The lowliness of his

♪ Handmaiden

♪ For behold from henceforth

♪ Four generations

♪ Had all been blessed

♪ For He that is mighty

♪ Hath magnified

♪ And His mercy is on them that fear Him

♪ Throughout all

♪ Generations

♪ He hath shewed strength with his arm he hath scattered

♪ The proud in the imagination

♪ Of their hearts

♪ He hath put down the mighty from their seat

♪ And hath exalted

♪ The humble and meek ♪

(CHOIR CONTINUES)

(CHOIR FADES)

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)