Original subtitles

It's time.

Today, family, marks the end of thousands of years

of death and destruction.

As we reunify these all-powerful weapons into a single relic,

we take the final step in healing this malignant world.

This is for the millions of lives

that have been torn asunder between the jaws of violence.

For the mortal, the cruelty of the gods

shall no longer reign over us.

For the children,

may they never know the violence I've known.

For my brothers-in-arms who sacrificed their lives

in the name of power.

And for our brother, Colt,

a victim of greed and tyranny.

Monkey, they killed my friends!

They sang a pretty little song, but it was bullshit.

Hey. You've been through a lot today. Let me help.

Hey, come on.

- Monkey! - I knew it.

Monkey's screwing this up!

Hey, hold on, dudes.

He would never consciously betray us.

When your friends warned you about our intentions,

I'm just curious, what word did they use?

Was it Armageddon?

Apocalypse? End of days?

You see, all those sound so negative,

whereas what we're doing, we're doing outta love.

The human race is infected with the cancer of violence,

and the only way to end the suffering is to pull the plug.

Which is why we all prefer the term global euthanasia.

What? Why didn't you tell me?

Quiet, Dot, the adults are talking.

See, this is a beautiful thing, Monkey,

and really, it's all thanks to you.

A couple of months ago, we didn't think we'd be able

to defeat the last of The Aldermen, you know?

But then he showed up.

And he knew if we were gonna accomplish our goal,

we needed you on the team.

So I used my deal with your friend Bryce

to nudge you in the right direction.

My armies are depleted.

I need souls, and Boone and his friends

are perfectly willing to deliver them.

Look, I know the optics are bad, right?

But desperate times call for desperate measures.

And let's just say opportunities aligned.

This is what we call a symbiotic relationship.

Think of me as an angel investor.

Really?

I'm sorry it had to end this way,

but thank you for everything you've done.

For us. For this world.

May we finally be at peace.

Finally.

You're mine.

Not exactly a 21-gun salute, you know?

It's very nice.

I-I'm not really good with these things.

Should we say something?

You want me to give the eulogy?

Alright, all cops are bastards except for Haruka. The end.

Nice. So I think this should come from you, you know?

You knew her best.

Yeah, alright, um...

Haruka...

Haruka was Japanese, and, uh, she was a cop.

And she was good...

but she sacrificed all that,

you know, her career, her reputation,

her country, to do the right thing.

I don't think I could've done what she did.

And yet through all my flaws, Haruka still somehow saw the good in me.

And I guess I'm just proud that someone

with such strong principles considered me a friend.

She said she wanted to return to her fishing village.

Maybe she's back there now. I hope so.

I love attending my victims' funerals.

It's really the cherry on top of the whole murder sundae.

Weird, Monkey didn't show up for the funeral.

Maybe he was overrun with guilt.

You know, we've come a long way, Kiki.

How you gutted your friend?

I've really brought out your killer instinct.

I've always had a ruthless side. It was just buried deep.

But you've been a great mentor.

When I do something, I do it right.

I've given you skills, attitude, and ice in your veins.

Exactly, so remind me why I still need you?

Oh, excuse me?

Did I ever tell you that I competed on my high school swim team?

My breaststroke was crap,

but my dives were practically perfect.

What the hell are you talking about?

I appreciate everything you've done,

but I've got it from here.

Wait.

No. No. No!

Ah. Ah!

I'm gonna go ahead and get the morning started with a drink.

Anyone else want anything?

- Cyanide? - A complete, full lobotomy?

I think I have some weed from, like, two years ago.

- Yeah, that's fine. - Alright.

Hi.

- Oh, my God! - Oh, Jesus!

Who the hell let in Satan's baby?

Alright, stand back.

I'm about to put a child-size hole through the wall here.

I mean you no harm. I've come seeking help.

If you think we helping any of you Manson family motherfuckers,

you are outta your mind.

The Co-Op will cast a shadow of death upon the world

if we do not stop them!

I'm sorry, shadow of death? What the hell is that?

Total destruction of all mankind.

Oh, okay.

Can we get that weed, Bryce?

Why should we trust you?

You've been singing their loony tune from the jump.

They kept me in the dark.

I didn't know the plan until this morning

when Boone told Monkey.

Cross my heart and hope to die!

Hey, hey, hey, hey, it's not your fault, kid.

Your friends are just a big old cornucopia of crazy.

I don't know, I find it hard to believe that Monkey would be cool

with the total annihilation of all mankind.

He tried to stop them!

But Slyke put him in the bad place.

Oh, man, this is messy.

You mean the part where Monkey got absorbed

into some freak's mind or the part where we learned

that all of humanity is about to be wiped off the face of the Earth?

Oh, and the Devil was there, too.

The what?!

You've been gone a long time, Dot.

Sorry, I went back to my room and took a nap.

Cut the shit. We know you went to Bryce's apartment.

You shouldn't have lied to me!

Dot, think before you do this.

Look out!

Oh!

Okay, that's it.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

Hi, Monkey.

One second.

Whew! Wasn't sure that was gonna work.

Not thrilled that my first possession was through a small child.

Hope I don't end up on a watch list or something, you know?

So this is Slyke's mind, huh?

Love what he's done with the place.

Who manages it, Jeffrey Dahmer?

I've been to the bad place before

as punishment for drinking Slyke's last energy drink.

Why am I here?

Oh, because my daughter, my boss, and Ring-Around-the-Rosie here decided

we apparently need your help saving the world.

Yes, I did a little freelance for the Devil.

Doesn't mean I want him to destroy mankind.

Hey, and you know what? From what I hear, you've been working for him, too.

So face it, we both got played.

Now, no, no.

The Devil was gonna get you to the Co-Op with or without me.

So don't go blaming this all on my deal.

Stop! We don't have time for this.

You know what? You're right.

I should be with Iris right now

instead of wasting what little time I have left

saving your ungrateful ass.

Stop it!

If we're going to get out of here, we need to work together.

Oh, by the way, Haruka's funeral, it was lovely.

The only way out is through the fountain in the middle of the mall,

but we'll need to hurry.

The Hunter will be after us the minute we step out of here.

Uh, I'm sorry, the Hunter?

He Slyke's in-mind avatar.

Oh, great, as if one mind freak wasn't enough.

A bookstore?

Oh, man. God, you remember those?

What a waste of space.

Oh, no!

Dot, if I'd had known

you were bringing a guest, I would've cleaned up the place.

Oh, well, you're not gonna be here long.

Oh, shit!

Run!

There's the fountain!

Come on!

Monkey? Bryce?

Monkey, you're up!

Attention shoppers,

the fountain will now be closing... permanently.

Goddamn. There goes our way home.

I spy with my little eye.

Hey, Monkey! We gotta move, buddy, like now!

Yeah, don't look back. Keep going!

Hey, dude, how about we stop taunting the sadist

and find a way outta here?

Oh, no!

Alright, alright...

let me ask you something.

What goes better with my tech vest,

the grenades or the extra mags?

Will you stop messing around and go watch over Slyke?

No, no, no, no, I can't stand over him

when he's in that weird trance.

It's creepy.

Eyes rolling in the back of his head.

Foaming at the mouth.

I'm just psyched to be working with my broskis.

Holy shit, look at this place!

Brothers on three.

Let's do this, one, two, three!

Brothers!

I don't know about you but I kinda figured all of Slyke's childhood memories

would be of him torturing animals.

Bro, his name is Weird Al,

and he's gonna change your life.

The Galaxy Boys are government agents? Hell yeah!

No, please, you don't have to do this.

I beg of you! We already surrendered!

Die, you motherfuckers, all of you...

- Colt, what're you doing? No! - ...die!

Colt, they surrendered!

I don't know, I don't get it. And that leaves Colt.

I think it's safe to say you're the sensitive one.

I'm just psyched to be working with my broskis here,

puttin' smiles on people's faces.

Come on!

Dude, can we please go?

You feel bad for them?

So they killed their brother, big deal. I killed my stepdad.

You killed Shinji, and the world's a better place for it.

Actually, your attitude towards killing

is what got us into this mess, not mine.

The Devil pounced on that soft little heart of yours,

played you like a fiddle.

Okay, yes, selling you out to the Devil

was sort of a dick move, but I'm sort of a dick.

And you know that! So get over it.

How can you ever trust me again?

You can trust me because I'm the one standing here

with you right now, the only one.

Whatever. I don't give a shit.

I just wanna get outta here and save the goddamned world, alright?

We owe it to Haruka.

Yeah, man, I miss her, too.

Listen, the government isn't gonna stop until I'm dead.

So look, unless you plan on killing me, it's the only way.

I can't, I can't do it, Colt.

Please, you have to, Slyke.

It's for the greater good.

Oh, snap, I guess they didn't kill that maniac.

They just put him in here.

- ...until I'm dead. - With us.

Oy! I hope you guys are enjoying the show.

Hold on, just so I can get this straight.

You've been stuck in here all alone

in your brother's weird-ass brain for 25 years, yeah?

Yeah.

It's been a real party.

Oh, shit.

Burn, baby, burn.

Yeah, you dudes are fun,

much more than those old fogey Aldermen Slyke's been feeding me.

Oh, this is a nightmare.

This puka shell necklace is actually made from their teeth.

Just need a few more for the matching bracelet.

Ah-ah-ah!

Come on, please.

Well, that doesn't seem fair.

Nothing here is fair. That's what makes it great.

Shit, shit, shit, shit.

This is gonna burn.

Nothing worse than the smell of singed hair. Here we go!

Ah, no, I was wrong.

The burning is so much worse than the smell.

Mm, now, that's the smell dreams are made of.

Oh, just a dark hallway. Great idea, Monkey.

Oh, snap. Not cool, man.

Oh, shit.

Boone?

Hey, everything alright, little brother?

Colt chased Monkey and Bryce into my subconscious.

- And? - And I'm kind of worried

about what he's gonna see in there.

Alright, look, none of it's gonna matter

in a couple of hours.

It can't end like that, Boone. I need to go in there!

Alright, do what you gotta do but hurry up.

I want you by my side to see this through.

Where the hell are we now?

I didn't mean to kill him, Mommy. I'm sorry!

You know what? I'm gonna guess this is where Slyke hides his dark shit.

Dude's seen some stuff.

I wonder what my dark place looks like.

Probably the size of an IKEA, yeah?

We're gonna have to play somewhere else, broskis.

Puberty hit Slyke like a ton of bricks,

and I ain't ready to relive that.

Move!

What the hell is this place?

Boone! Come on, man!

This is how it has to be.

I've never seen this.

Don't do this. I mean, think about it.

We, we, we, we can run. Yeah!

I mean, somewhere they'll, they'll never find us,

or better yet, we can fight.

You know how powerful we are together, right?

He's right, Boone. We could take 'em, I know we could.

This is how it has to be.

That is not how I remember it.

Boone, please. No, don't do this!

Come on, man. Boone?

- It's for the greater good. - It's for the greater good.

They lied to me.

Psst, hey,

now would be a great time

for us to make like a tree and get the fuck outta here.

This was the last thing Boone and I ever wanted to do, Colt,

but our hand was forced.

You were reckless, unhinged!

My own brothers lied to me.

No, no, we were, we were just kids! They fucked us up.

They turned us into weapons to serve their bullshit agenda!

Yeah, the greater good, right?

No! There was no greater good, but there is now.

We're about to change the world, Colt, fix everything.

Come with me to the outside. I will show you.

One last show for The Galaxy Boys.

What do you say, brother? Come on.

Galaxy Boys.

You know, I've been here for 25 years

and this is the first time

you've ever set foot in this place.

Colt, you need to know that everything Boone and I are doing,

we're doing because of you, for you.

Never in a million years

did I think it was gonna end like this.

Come on, Colt. We don't have to do this.

No!

Hey, as much as I'd love to watch this greasy dirt bag

get his brains beat in, that's our way out.

I love you, brother.

Hey, buddy, we gotta hustle.

Hurry up! The light's fading fast!

And I'm guessing once Slyke is dead, it's gonna be gone,

which means we're gonna be gone.

Brothers! Brothers!

Oh, no!

Alright, Monkey, hold on tight. Or better yet, don't!

Ah!

Oh.

Can't believe brothers would turn on each other like that.

I guess people tend to do the shittiest things

to the ones they care about the most.

Brothers, but without all the murder and betrayal.

Now, enough of this sappy shit. We've still got a world to save.

I gotta say, the worst part about the whole thing

was that the food court was closed.

I mean, how good does an Orange Julius sound right now?

The relic's gone. We're too late.

Come on, Slyke, where are you?

He's not coming.

I'm sorry, Boone.

We should get started.