Original subtitles

Eros is the primordial power that dominates man...

..leading him where he wants, even to ruin.

It has an indomitable strength, irresistible...

..related to desire...

..that transcends the will individual of men and gods.

Eros as a dream, as a desire...

..as a secret fantasy.

Sometimes all it takes is a hand That rests on yours...

..a strange smell, a half-open mouth ...

..a neckline, a wrong button.

All this is eros, it takes hold of you...

..sets you on fire.

Do you know what is the place where people have the most erotic dreams?

Traffic lights. The duration of the red light...

..is equivalent to the duration average duration of an erotic thought.

For some, one red is not enough...

..And when the green light goes off...

..it's still there, dreaming, and you play.

"Distracted dreamer, come back to earth!"

Your wife is not Scarlett Johnson, your husband is not Johnny Depp....

..they are both much less erotic, and you know that.

Some people are healthy carriers of eros.

Oualcuno has it. Some don't.

(radio) Some people Have pure eros in their eyes.

He hides there and from there He launches his messages.

- Who's on the line? - I'm Tamara from Rovigo.

Tamara. tell us about eros.

It happened to me only once....

HONKING AND SMASHING

(radio) I got up Because his look troubled me.

There is nothing more erotic Than the look.

You have touched an important key. Hello.

Enough of this song!

SINGS lN DlALETTO SlClLlANO.

The lady.

Madam, where are you going?

The descent!

Wretch!

- Stop! - You are two dunces!

Stop. Ouante times do I have to tell you?

Shall I have you mount the flying figure eight?

Ouest is not a Luna Park.

I don't understand you, what's in your head?

You have to stay in your room, you are constantly making a mess!

You have to stop!

- Dario, they will kick you out of the hospital. - They can't, I'm sick.

Really? Let's take them to the rooms.

- (sings) You can't talk to me... - Don't sing!

Stop putting on a show all day long!

Dario, I don't understand why they changed the physical therapist....

..and yet he was good, these doctors are strange.

- You can never tell what they think. - I agree.

J Doctors are strange you can't tell what they're thinking.

A friend of mine couldn't understand what the doctors were thinking...

..and finally died, it was six o'clock in the afternoon...

He died without understanding.

Oui is written that our spine spine can return as before.

- The minchia doesn't, though. - Shut up, I'll read it to you.

"It plays a key role rehabilitation and not least..."

"...the patient's will."

If you stay on the bed all day, you can say goodbye to marathons.

I wish I could stay all day on the bed.

How do I get on the bed?

There is never a nurse To help you get on the bed!

Hey! Oualcuno help me? I'm going to have a fit now.

Nurses! What do we do?

- Good morning. Who is Nicola Albinati? - Me.

- So am I. - No, it's me.

J Baldoni I am your new physical therapist.

Mine too?

No. What's up?

Half and half.

It is bullshit... Half over and half-nothing.

Tomorrow at 9 a.m. I will pick you up and go to the gym.

See you tomorrow, good morning.

Good morning.

While we are together, I would appreciate it That you don't carry a cell phone.

Goodbye.

- Who was it? - Minchia.

It is too beautiful.

Do I hurt you?

(You wouldn't hurt me even with a chainsaw.)

(Where are you from. who sent you?)

- It is normal to have an erection. - No, what erection?

I'm used to it.

No, I'm a little cold.

(She noticed t)

That means everything works.

It is a strange time.

It comes to me when he wants it, not when I want, it's random.

- Have you discussed this with the doctor? - No, should I?

This is a frequent fear in cases like yours.

The doctor will explain the situation.

Why-is it possible to remain powerless?

Yes, it can happen, but it is not frequent.

It is uncommon.

(If something like this happens to me. I'll kill myself.)

Concentrate And watch where I put my hand.

- Do you feel anything? - Huh? - Do you feel anything?

(I felt a chill. But not in my leg.)

Lucia. Lucia...

- Lucia. - What is it?

- What's going on? - Are you dumb?

J We are on tranquilizers you can't scream at night.

You give me a heart attack. Who is Lucia?

- Who? - You shouted, "Lucia!"

But who is he?

What is your girlfriend's name?

Sara.

- Go! - Right away to me! Right away to me!

Now! Pass the ball!

We are under the basket, you're practically playing by yourself.

- Here, play the game. - Give me 100 euros or I'll tell them.

- What? - Let the night call Lucia.

- Pull. - Sara, come on!

- Dario. - I don't give a damn.

- Don't be a jerk. - That's how you learn to pass the ball.

- Come on. - Do you know what he says while he sleeps?

Don't believe him, after the accident, he doesn't reason anymore.

It says, "I love you, love..." Things like that.

It also says a woman's name: "I love you, Sara."

- Why should I not believe him? - I thought he was saying.

Kiss each other and if you do something more racy...

..I take you back with my cell phone And put you on the Internet!

Ouest is the quadriceps.

Underneath is the adductor.

The knee joint, the patella...

...the femur...

(I don't give a shit about these names.)

(Tell me something erotic.)

- Do you want to touch my ass? - What?

My ass, you're always looking at it.

Yes, it is now an obsession.

You want to touch me.

Scaphoid...

..cuboid, tarsus. - Ouale "cuboid?"

Scaphoid, that's it, we all have it.

Focus and push forward.

It works!

Fuck, it works! I said "fuck."

It works.

- Dario. - Yes.

I'm going crazy.

She is so serious, professional, she gives me blood, she gives me sex!

Ouella fits, I know those guys.

It looks all in one piece, but if you take it from behind.

..you slip your hand underneath her And you give her a rasp....

She first stiffens, then lets go.

He has a look...

As he tells me one thing, you can see he's thinking another, you know?

Of course.

- Hello. - Hello, Nadine!

This is Nicholas, my partner in misfortune.

- Nadine, my physical therapist. - Pleasure. - Physical therapist?

- Yes. - Physiotherapist of what?

Of the dick, I have to rehabilitate myself.

Who the fuck is he?

I never told you about Nadine, my puppy?

That's her.

Stand in front of the door And if someone comes, let me know.

- What? - See if the nun is coming.

Stay outside and if someone comes, you let me know.

We're in the hospital, what the fuck are you talking about?

Dude, what are we going to do?

- I have no time to waste. - Now he goes out.

Nicola, don't give me any shit. I'll call you.

Bella! I want to lick you all over.

Pull down, take off my pants!

Move, help me!

I cannot move; I am paralyzed.

They are not here on vacation.

- (Nadine) Love, help me! - (Dario) I'm going to do the handstand now.

(Darius) Take them off, quickly, before the nun comes.

- (Nadine) Help me. - Hurry up!

- Close, nothing happens here. - Gross!

Oh my!

Good morning, mother!!! I had physical therapy...

And the foot moved on its own.

I am very pleased, it's good to see you in good spirits.

Great mood! FlSCHlA

- I'm going to get Deorsola, is he in the room? - Who?

- Your roommate. - Yes, he's inside.

- But he's doing physical therapy. - At this time, in the room?

- Move over. - We don't disturb him.

You have my number, don't worry. Call me, love!

Hello, Nicholas. Hello, mother.

- Who is. - The physical therapist.

- Physical therapist? - Yes, physical therapist.

Everyone has the one they deserve.

(Open your eyes. come here and say, "Unbutton my apron.")

("Look at me. touch me t")

(Do it at least once t)

Right away, right away! Never pass the ball!

- Why don't you pass the ball? - Let me shoot! - Stop it!

Fuck you!

- Dario. - Yes.

- Are you asleep? - No, I answered you.

- Do you believe in God? - It seems to me that I don't.

Turn on the light.

That sucks!

Minchia!

With 2,OOO euros I went around Mexico in 15 days.

There were many couples on their honeymoon.

- There is the one in love with you. - Who?

Stop it, you said?

It's like watching a movie at double the speed.

Do everything fast and cheap.

Where does it go?

Nicholas.

Nicola, where are you going?

- Having a beer. - You can't go out.

I'll be right back.

- What's wrong with you? - I can't stand it anymore in here. - This is not a hotel!

- You cannot do as you wish. - It is a prison!

- Do you bring out the sick like this? - She is not in her pajamas!

Lucia! Lucia!

Who is he?

Wait. Turn off the light, let me finish.

- Who is this? - My fiancée.

- Another one? - Nicola, already nothing works.

- Let me finish. - Do you take hookers to the hospital?

- I am not a whore! - I didn't mean to offend.

The minchia does not work, it is a very serious thing.

If we get caught, a mess happens, hurry up.

Do it yourself, first one leg, then the other.

- I can't do it. - I've got it.

I can't take it!

- So? - Minchia.

I am being transferred.

It is more serious than it seemed.

The doctor says, "Can I be sincere?" I answer, "Of course."

What did he say to you?

I have little chance of walking again.

Dario, I'll wait for you outside.

- I'm afraid! - Of what?

We have always said that...

The doctors are just talking bullshit.

They are just talking bullshit.

They say a lot of bullshit.

Minchia!

Best wishes!

To Lucia joining the club Of repressed wives!

- You are a hyena! - To Lucia!

Best wishes!

- You still have time, run away! - Do you hear what he says?

Why do you want to give in right now? Let's run away together.

On Sunday, instead of going to church, you and I will leave...

..like Thelma and Louise.

Ouanto you drank?

I'll think about it, I'm going for a smoke.

Smoking?

- She has never smoked! - She went crazy.

- Lucia! - Shh! I'll take you for a beer.

I'm getting married in a week...

..and I love it.

So, why?

You look at me in a way That makes me crazy.

I don't hurt anybody, it's just my own thing.

Ouello I will do tonight I have dreamed it a thousand times....

..in the smallest details.

(In a betrayal it is humiliating To be caught in the act).

(How would I have reacted if Sara had entered the cafeteria?)

(I would have said: "Love. is not as it seems"?)

(Now it's back home and start over...)

(..you and me. Sara.)

- Albinati? - Yes?

Are you Nicola Albinati?

- I am Alice, your new physical therapist. - Pleasure.

- Good morning. - Pleasure. - We can start tomorrow.

Let's have a good session...

. .and soon you'll be back playing ball!

- Do you play ball? - What? - Do you play ball? - No.

Our address.

(Ouest is the punishment for having been unfaithful. a whale t)

(Every morning. massaging my my thighs. it will be this cetacean t)

- See you tomorrow, Nicola. Bye! - Goodbye.

(Now I understand what I will need the will Lucia talked about.)

(You will never have me. Alice. you will never have never my sciatic nerve.)

I work at home and everyone offers me something to eat.

- Reject. - How? - Do you have willpower?

- See you in the cafeteria. - Here is the will.

Ouest what are they doing here?

Good morning!

- Good morning. - Good morning.

- The ultrasound is at 10:30. - Yes, we made a mistake.

Since I always set the alarm...

Last night I said: "Franco, you put it on."

- Don't tell everything, we are a little bit early. - Let's go in.

Have a seat. I just need some coffee.

- Make me a coffee. - Yes.

- How is the hormone treatment going? - I'm a little nervous.

I don't know... I don't sleep well....

I make some confusion...

- Have you changed your mind? - No. - No, in fact.

We are convinced that we have made the right decision...

..at least the right one for us.

To tell the truth, I feel proud.

Lately I've been reading a little bit...

..and I realized...

..that 20 years ago we could not have have a child of our own.

No, although in ltaly the mentality is still a bit backward.

Understand?

I have seen photos of this Barcelona center.

- It looks like a hotel, not a hospital. - It is one of the best in Europe.

You continue with the treatment...

Article 13 paragraph 3 item B of Law 40 of 2004 reads.

... "You can't make a selection on male and female gametes."

That is, you cannot choose the good spermatozoa from the bad ones.

For that we have to go to Spain And it's not going to be a walk in the park.

Manuela had changed a lot after the last hormone barrage.

- Good morning, love! - Good morning my ass!

J Try to relax You were restless tonight, too.

I woke up with hot flashes on my face.

I looked at myself in the mirror And I looked like a cherry tomato!

It is because of hormones, it's only two weeks away.

- Are you tanned? - Who?

- You, you're all red. - Am I red? - Yes.

- Below the place where I work they have opened a center. - About what?

A center where you go for a lamp.

Gianni asked me to go with him, I didn't want to...

- However, Giorgio was also going there.... - Franco, you're shit.

- There was promotion. - Fuck promotion!

You get the lamp at a time like this, you are shit!

You're going to be shit!

- Franco. - Yes?

- What are you doing? - I'm going for a run.

- Are you sorry? - Yes, I do mind.

- Why? - You don't understand the situation.

I understand that, but I try to downplay it.

Since I've been taking antioxidants, I need to vent...

..I am full of energy.

- Now what is it? - Holy crap!

Will you help me make this child Or do I have to do it myself?

What should I do?

Don't be cheerful, your cheerfulness Breaks my balls!

Now go for serious running...

..and come back depressed, please. A little bit depressed.

All right, I'll give it a try.

(radio) D.J. Fulvio To all listeners.

Attention. family plummets. divorces rise...

..and ltaly is in last place for birth rate.

_ Out of one hundred marriages fifty end up in the toilet.

You. who damn yourselves to have children. How do you react to this debacle?

- Phone calls t Who is on the line? - Hi. This is Virginia from Rome.

I fit into the statistics. my husband left me....

..while I was pregnant.

- We have tatooed so much to have that child... - And then what?

- Come on, tell t - He went away.

He sent me a text message saying: "I can't do it. I'm not ready."

What an asshole t

You could have taken an umbrella!

I don't have a personal satellite that tells me when it's raining.

Don't hold me up, I'm not old!

- You are late, where have you been? - I made you a surprise.

It is unlikely.

Don't you like it?

It's not that, it's that I'm not the type...

It takes pinch of pepper, a little bit of transgression.

Let's also buy a pinafore maid's apron with a crest!

What does that have to do with it? It's just a special gift.

Never mind, I'll bring it back to him And get 35 underwear for me.

Suddenly I was seeing this man ...

..in a completely different way...

..4 years ago I had married a moron.

- Good morning. - We have a reservation, Bozzini.

- Where's the bathroom? - This way. - Wait for me.

I can't take it anymore! Don't give up, Manuela!

Think about your daughter, I am sure she will be a little girl.

Don't give it up to these shitty hormones!

SPEAKING lN GlAPPONESE

- Do you know how to say "bon appetit" in Japanese? - I don't care.

Exactly.

Are you being a jerk to Oriental women?

- He would tell me the idioms. - I think that ...

I can no longer trust you.

- Don't have a fit. - Listen, dickhead!

Be calm.

You're being a jerk to waitresses!

- It is better if we go. - Why?

- Are you afraid people will know? - No, go ahead.

In order to have a child, we have to do IVF.

- Sorry. - IVF!

- What's wrong with that? - Nothing.

I make an ass of myself, gentlemen!

Endovaginal ultrasound scans, punctures in the belly...

..hormone bombardment...

..and do you know what this is all about?

Because he has spermatozoa small and recoiled!

- I said. - We've made our figure of shit.

They go slowly, they are slow.

We get the ordeal, they only have to donate the seed....

..which is also spoiled!

(Manuela) Love!

- Love, wake up. - What's the matter?

Sorry, love.

I can't sleep If I don't apologize.

I didn't want to say those things to you, I didn't want to offend you.

Now I can say it lucidly.

I love you...

..and I also love your weak spermatozoa.

Then tomorrow we go back to that restaurant...

..and you also tell them these things.

- I wear that underwear? - Yes, so I'll bite it off!

I cannot tell you everything that happened when she came back.

We made love on the floor, on the bed, in the closet.

Six months later I found a piece of the underpants in the middle of the fins.

Imagine the biggest dirty things.... do it now.

The follicles have reached the ideal size.

- You have to go. - Ouando? - Tomorrow. - What?

- Tomorrow? - Follicles don't wait.

Close, please!

- How did it go? - They stuck me with a huge thing!

- This is no laughing matter. - Doctor.

It is an important day for you.

Within 36 hours we will make the "pick-up." You just have to make the "showing."

- Meaning? - Masturbation To capture the seed.

- I have to put it in a jar. - You have to center it.

I hope so!

It is important that you are in an excellent physical state.

Take care, everything must be perfect.

- All it takes is an evil "garganta"... - Throat. - Yes.

No, I will be fit.

Then enjoy Barcelona for 36 hours.

- Thank you. - Bye.

- What the fuck is he laughing at? He always has that smile... - He's funny.

Yes, I'm fine.

- Hi, Mom. - Are you waiting for the cab?

Not a single one can be seen.

- We have been waiting for 10 minutes. - We wait.

You are -- I said it To my wife as soon as I saw you.

"They have the face of those who have to wait 36 hours."

So much pleasure!

- Sorry, my hand is sweaty. - Nice to meet you, Carlina.

Cute! They remind me of us.

We rent a convertible and take a drive along the coast.

- Yes! - No, the doctor told us to rest.

MUSlCA FROM RADlO

(sings) Honey, which sticks To the heart, but melts in the sun...

..when you want more!

Gigi D'Alessio drives me crazy, do you?

- I don't know him well. - We saw him saw him at the San Carlo in Naples.

- It was Plebiscite Square. - That's right!

There were 1 OO,OOO people, like for Vasco Rossi.

- Vasco we know better. - They are the best in ltaly.

Think of a song by Gigi sung by Vasco!

Insane! (sings) Honey, this is the taste of you...

..when you have to go... listen to the music!

Feel how the words slip.

How wonderful! La Barceloneta!

Come on, let's give a lash to these spermatozoa!

No, the chief physician said I have to be fit....

- The primary is bad luck, let's go. - What do you say?

- I would take a bath. - No, you just ate.

- Come on, I can do it! - Aren't you going to undress?

- I have an extra costume. - It's not because of that.

- Do you have hair? Let me see. - I have never had hair.

- You have two great tits! - Hold up your glasses.

Here we go, ocean!

But this is the Mediterranean!

Yes! Mediterranean, here I come!

39,6. Oh my God, that's so high!

You have 39.6!

What do we do? Tell me what the fuck we do now.

You are a demented person!

- (sotto voce) Give me the Tachipirin. - I don't understand.

- What do you say? - Give me the Tachipirin. - You've taken three.

Do you want to commit suicide? I don't know what to think!

You don't know how to go 36 hours without screwing up.

I feel like a basket full of eggs....

..my feet are swollen and what do you do?

You throw yourself into the icy water With those two idiots.

I didn't do it on purpose.

If tomorrow you can't even get a "hand job," I'll leave you.

- (in Spanish) Hello. - Hello.

- Thank you. - Would you like a magazine porn for the "exhibition"?

No newspapers, I do it myself.

It has been many years that...

Miss, excuse me.

I changed my mind.

The room is a little cold, it makes me uncomfortable.

I take a newspaper, but not porn, a periodical...

..a daily newspaper, what is this? - "El País." - Is it from today?

- Yes. - Can I...

- Yes. - Okay, thank you.

There was nothing in the paper that stimulated me.

But I didn't want my son to be born...

..while watching a porn star, even a foreign one.

Then a divine apparition.

At least she is not a stranger. I had to concentrate...

..however, in the end, Mona Lisa and I we made it.

Here.

- Is it empty, is there nothing? - It is little, but it is there.

I missed the target, because when I get to the moment...

I think I went over it.

Most of it is on the floor.

- Okay. - Do you have anything to clean?

Don't worry, we'll take care of it.

Believe me, it's better if I clean it up, also because it's my stuff...

Never mind, we'll take care of it.

Okay, I'll go.

Apparently we were sitting on a park bench.

Actually, in the laboratory of embryology at the clinic...

..we were making love.

My spermatozoa were attacking her oocytes . .

..and I knew that they were trying hard.

I had made available to him 1 Or oocytes.

He had to fertilize at least 5 or 6 of them. CELLULAR SOUl LLO.

It is the clinic.

Hello?

Doctor, tell me.

Ouanti oocytes?

Not bad at all! All right.

- Thank you, see you tomorrow. - Ouanti?

One!

Great, yes!

You put your best foot forward.

- Everything went well. - Yes, but... - What?

With only one fertilized egg it will be difficult to get pregnant.

Had they been at least 3 or 4...

Love, you only need one, you will see that it is the right one.

Look at the landscape!

I took the room on the top floor.

You have to stay in bed for three days, but you will have Barcelona at your feet.

- Ouest is the roof of the world! - I also liked the other room.

- No! What are you doing? - I have to pee.

I'll take you, for three days you don't even have to get out of bed.

Will the bathroom be here?

There's the bathroom! No, there's another room.

- Excuse me, is anyone there? - Idiot.

It is great!

Plan.

What a wrinkle! I look like Geronimo.

Close the door, I can't do it.

Honey, the doctor said that if everything goes well.

..I understand for myself whether I got pregnant.

- How? - It says that if the embryo attacks...

..I should feel like a cramp in my belly. - A cramp?

Yes, a very small cramp, imperceptible...

..as a small bite, however, it is unmistakable.

Here's the check-in.

Wait here.

Shit, the cramp!

Love!

- Love. - Back on the suitcases. - The cramp! - What?

- I felt the cramp! - The cramp?

- Yes! - Can you go ahead?

- He felt the cramp. - Good. - The cramp. - Yes!

The cramp-the cramp?

The cramp.

Careful, I pull it hard. Are you ready?

- You pulled slowly! - My son is a champion!

My son is great, my son is unique!

It's okay.

Here are the little feet, the little hands.... everything is regular.

Maybe you can see the sex as well.

- It's a female! - No! - What?

- What? - No.

- It is unbelievable! - What's unbelievable about it?

- It is either a boy or a girl. - That's right, it could have been male...

..instead it is a female, it's unbelievable!

I, myself, will have a girl! Love!

A female!

Remember what we said?

- If it was a girl, I would have chosen the name. - It's true.

- I would like to name her after my grandmother. - What was her name?

- Grandma Lisa. - How.

Grandma Lisa.

What are you laughing about? Franco.

Grandma Lisa!

What could she have been called this little girl? Grandma Lisa!

(radio) Welcome to "Love Handbook."

No theme today. freewheeling love.

I just want phone calls, I want to hear your voice.

Here is the first phone call, who are you?

- This is Philip. - Hi. Philip.

You will have something interesting to tell us. go ahead and speak up.

I desire children, a family, I am 40 years old and ready.

What are you waiting for?

In this country it is not an easy, you have to get married...

- And being of a different gender. - What do you mean?

I mean.

- What? - I meant to say.

I am gay.

- Father! - My daughter!

You sound like your mom.

Come here, little sister!

- We cried! - Dad, too? - No, he was touching Biagini's ass.

Watch it.

- Philip. - Too sober, Elena.

- Underneath is the surprise! - You look like a queen. - Thank you!

- The photo with relatives. - All the relatives for the photo!

- You are all relatives. - Let's go!

There are many of you, squeeze in.

- It's a southern family! - Dad! - Take the shot!

Come, come!

- He does not belong to the family. - Ouale family?

- You are all relatives. - Please!

I want you to be there.

Good morning, Mr. Luciano.

VOCl NOT UDlBlLl

Excuse me, I have an announcement to make! Shut up!

You may have noticed that I did not throw the bouquet backwards.

I didn't do it because I already know who it has to go to.

To two people who are close to me, one in particular.

I am proud to announce the wedding...

..of my brother Fosco...

..and his partner Philip!

- With whom? - With a man, Philip.

Fuck no. You guys are going too far.

Dad.

Dad.

I'm sorry, I wanted to tell you, though.

You know how Elena is.

Just one day of normalcy In life...

..do you want to give it to me?

I tried.

But that's the way I am, though.

- I thought you accepted it. - I did.

But only out of love Of your poor mother.

What a shame!

I was ashamed when your wife knocked loudly on the door...

..stayed on the landing, he would look at me and your mother and say.

... "Did you know that your son is a fag?"

He used to do this with his hand.

A staircase party!

I have swallowed quintals of shit because of you...

..but I don't understand this marriage bullshit.

For you what you don't understand Is bullshit.

Then it's not bullshit!

What should I call your spouse?

My daughter-in-law? Maybe you play the part of the sissy.

I mean who is putting it up whose ass?

Sorry, I don't want to know.

That's your shit.

You have ruined my life once, two is too many.

What changes to you?

J We have been together for 4 years we live together...

..everyone accepted it except you. - Madonna, shut me up!

What the fuck are you saying? Marriage is something else.

I married your mom, me male, her female.

- Me man, her woman. - You Tarzan, she Jane.

Exactly! Ouest is marriage.

You are a caricature against nature!

- So you get another heart attack. - I hope I get the strong one.

Then I won't have to be ashamed anymore.

But I will not give that satisfaction to you nor to that "piripicchio"...

..that slut, that funny thing you're sleeping with!

You are funny, Dad.

Not him.

Your sister went too far in making that announcement, too blatant.

We took a chance, my father has three bypasses.

It could have been a funeral.

You're lucky, we're getting married in a month and you didn't tell him.

She knows you, she knows you would not have had the courage.

You would have confronted him to a fait accompli.

At 45 years old, you still haven't solved the problem with your father.

It will always be a stumbling block for you, but it is not a fault...

J ..it's just that you don't metabolize you know what your problem is?

You fear your father.

It's not quite like that, actually You face it, but you don't metabolize it....

..somatize.

Shut up. You have to shut up.

- There are times when one has to keep quiet. - But I...

Shut up!

Have you grounded me?

- Hello, handsome! - Keep your voice down, Esmeralda.

Tell me.

- Dollars. - Be good, shall we go downstairs?

Of course, I have the safe deposit box.

Director, has the safe deposit box.

Why do you charge in dollars?

The euro is more advantageous, it yields more.

The dollar is still the dollar, darling.

- You two are a myth to me and my friends. - Why?

You and Philip are getting married in Spain, you will live there...

..you will adopt children And you will have a family. - What do you say?

- Who told you this crap? - Philip.

- Are you dumb? - Why did you say those things to Esmeralda?

- Ouali things? - That we will live in Spain and have a family.

- What's the big deal? - You actually told him!

I told her I would like to.

Why didn't you come to me Instead of going to that whore?

I would have told you no, having a family is a crazy idea.

Who are you to decide my "no's", my "yeses," my doubts?

- Who are you to delve Into my "self"'? - What the fuck are you saying?

- Listen, "Filipino." - Filipino you tell your father!

You are hysterical, I would not want to discuss this topic...

..but if you make me, I'll tell you what I think about fag marriages.

If it is a symbolic fact, of a social choice, that's fine.

But if you think I want to go to Spain and adopt a child...

If I had wanted a child, I would have done it with my wife!

Perfect, let's send it all to hell.

You can tell your father that you don't blow him off, don't get married again....

..and that you're back in the mood for pussy! - You are a bad pussy.

There, we exchanged the wedding favors.

- Where are you going? - Where you are not.

(radio) Fulvio. it's Antonio. I live in Rome.

I agree with gay marriage. Is an achievement of civilization.

If they make the PACS law. I'm happy.

If they get married in the City Hall. I am happy, but in the Church.

The Church is sacred and it is right That women should not become pope.

However long live the faggots t

What's the harm in wanting a family, a child?

You have to go to Spain, but I didn't say to leave tomorrow.

I have been humiliated And do you know what the consequence will be?

I will never sleep again, I will suffer from insomnia.

In my country they sing this song to the children to make them sleep.

(sings) An elephant was swinging Above the thread of a spider's web.

- In your country is there still civil war? - Yes, why?

Ouest lullaby is irritating, it can block the development of children.

Do you know anything about Tatangelo?

- Dad. - What are you doing here? - Excuse me.

Can you give me the keys to the house? I want to sleep there.

Did you have a fight with that piripicchio?

- If you have to offend me... - I don't!

Sorry.

For you my house is always open.

- But just for you. - All right.

I'll be back in the morning, try to be there.

- Ah! - Who the fuck...

- What are you doing here? - What about you?

- What a scare! You are crazy. - Weren't you on your honeymoon?

I came back tonight, alone.

Sorry, Elena. What does "alone" mean?

- lvan? - We had a fight.

I spent the first night on the terrace of the room.

Fosco, I fucked up.

- I didn't have to get married. - Couldn't you have thought of that before?

How will Father react?

- I was at least married a year to that. - Margaret.

Yeah!

It must be a family vice.

- Weddings go all sideways. - Two!

We are two.

- Why did you bring me here? - To entertain you.

J These are sad locales I had sworn never to enter them again.

- A little bit of transgression! - It looks like the set of "The Gladiator."

Phone home!

Now make me E.T. with a fever.

Let me when he drinks beer.

RUTTA

Do you know how old this finger is? Twenty!

- Ouante times have we seen the movie? - Seven.

For me E.T. is a little bit you and a little bit him.

Big Sis!

No! How scary!

I used to make a million, now I barely make 300 euros.

Here's the cab. Good luck, Faustino.

Good evening.

Arc of Meadow, please.

- I didn't imagine that happening. - What?

Finding her in a cab.

Get out of the car and hail another cab.

- Why do you pretend that I don't exist? - I don't want to talk to you.

He has no right to treat me like this.

Please get out of the car.

No, such an occasion doesn't happen to me again.

I am not like Fosco, I'm not afraid to talk.

People looking at me with disdain is not a problem.

Those who don't accept me can go Fuck off, even my parents.

Enjoy your old age and let your son to live as he wishes.

I told them!

Get out of here! Get out or I'll call the police!

And what does he say to them? "Help, faggot on board!"

Between her and me the normal person is me.

- I am the norm. - Philip.

He comes from Spain, his name is "Consolador!"

- It's a cock talking. ##-Patatine, Feel how I vibrate.

- Go fuck yourselves! - Turn off this monster.

- Why are you making that face? - Do you know who that was?

Taxi driver.

No, Fosco's father.

- This one lives in your building, he's queer. - There is also a trans man.

- Nice building! - Ouanti faggots are there? - So many.

- You are also becoming... - No! - (Fosco) Sorry!

- You live here, don't you? - Yes.

J - I forgot my keys can you open the door? - What?

I don't have the keys, open the door.

- Thank you. - What are you doing, "fag?"

- I just wanted to. - No way! - Are you dumb?

- Are you a jerk? - What the fuck are you doing? - I just thanked him.

Stop.

Piece of shit!

I told them!

"Let your son live as he wishes!"

- What a beautiful sentence! - I hit him in the soul.

As Gianna Nannini says: "In the soul!"

(sings) You are in the soul...

..and there I leave you forever!

Suspended motionless, still image...

..a sign that never goes away!

You are in the soul!

Fosco.

Did you take a shower with your clothes on?

- What happened to you? - The little shit on the second floor....

..who had locked you in the elevator. I avenged you.

I thought I don't care about getting married.

What do I care?

We are a family even in two, I don't want any more, really.

You're right, it's bullshit.

Instead I...

..I wanted to tell you the opposite.

Don't get run over!

It's so late! Who sets the alarm clock?

Between the two of us, who sets the alarm clock? You look like an imbecile.

Enough! The cell phone didn't ring, it happened and it will happen again.

At least I am not offended today.

It's this way! We are going the wrong way.

Let's go!

- Are the witnesses waiting for us? - They were supposed to be here an hour ago.

- Who are the witnesses? - Maybe two Spanish queens!

Two bullfighters, let's go!

- Give me the tie. - I don't have one.

- I told you to bring her. - Don't be a nagging husband!

Let's not be recognized, Goofy!

Let's do without a tie, you also take it off.

- Is this okay? - You are a love, 1930s!

Where are the witnesses?

J If there are no witnesses it is a sign of fate.

Excuse me, where are our witnesses? Holy cow!

They are gone, you are an hour late.

I don't even know if the alderman is still there.

Can you be our witness?

- No. - A testimony for our marriage.

All right, 100 euros.

Minchia. All right.

- One more is needed, though. - Yes.

(in Spanish) Miss! Please, miss!

I explain the situation.

I would like to marry that man....

..and we don't have... - Are you Italians? So am I.

- My father is Italian. - Perfect.

Will you be our witness? It will only take a quarter of an hour.

- I don't have much time... - What is your name? - Cecilia.

Cecilia, we have more doubts than certainties, but we are here now.

If you still take 20 seconds to decide...

..that man changes his mind.

Cecilia.

Please.

SPEAKS SPANISH

- Who is Philip Lamb? - "Moi!" Sorry, that's me.

What about Fosco "Sanmarzano?"

San Marzano are the tomatoes in ltaly, Sammarano.

- Sammarano, yes. - Where is Sanmarzano? - Sammarano.

I don't know, he wanted to surprise me. Fosco, where are you?

Who is he?

- What does he do? - E.T., faggot, though!

- Rosa. - Marico.

(Ernesto) Cecilia Hernandez. eyes. catlike and Catalan temperament.

This woman Would have broken my heart.

(sings) I want to sing like this...

..fior damaranti!

My name is Ernesto and I am the maitre d' in an upscale restaurant.

I have a wife who is Milanese and lazy and a very cohesive daughter.

Before Cecilia's arrival. My life was flat.

- Then. suddenly. the light t - Grandma.

- Cecilia! Grandma's love! - Don't get up.

The kids on the table no! We are eating.

Oh my God, he pooped!

- What did you do, Paco? - It brings good luck!

- In ltaly it brings good luck. - Cecilia is from Spain.

The last time I saw her she was like this.

Long live the Spaniard!

Do you know who this gentleman is?

- No. - He found you the place at the restaurant. - Thank you.

- You're welcome. - Are you staying like this?

- Bring us a drink! - You're right, I'm going home.

- Give me the keys. - They shit all over you!

- It is the poop of a baby. - It is still shit!

- Who did he take it from? - Not from me, I'm from Milan.

The wine "tinto" for the "muchacha"!

"Vamos a bailar!"

"Vamos!"

"Vamos a la playa!"

(sings) Turn you want to turn, but When it teases you, love goes away.

- Change knight! - Change!

Change of rider!

Be careful not to fall off the ledge! Maura, help your mother.

Mother, you are drunk, give me the baby.

- What do we do? - Thank you for the work, "Ernedo."

You are welcome.

Ernesto, not Ernedo.

I danced a little And now my leg hurts.

The sciatic nerve was inflamed.

We are old now.

I don't feel old. If I could sleep 12 hours...

..I would sleep like a boy 18 years old, good night.

J The older you get the grumpier you become.

- Insists! Good night. - My cranky old man!

Renata, so I'm hot.

(Ernesto) Despite the difference of age between Cecilia and me...

..In his eyes I had seen not only gratitude, but something else.

With the excellent wine you have chosen...

..a red Serpico Of the fiefs of San Gregorio...

..I would pair fillet of sea bass and sea snail soup.

Slugs make me sour.

Then I suggest a tuna tartare . .

..laid on a bed of radicchio, a very delicate dish.

- There is a problem... - What? - There is a problem in the kitchen.

Sorry. You don't say in front of customers.

Come here!

Have you gone crazy?

- The Egyptian broke my balls! - He's a racist! - Me?

Leave the knife, are you crazy?

The hall is full, how do we look?

The pot is put here!

You have gone too far, I will tell the owner to kick you out.

- It can't go on like this! - But we are friends.

- My friends do not make stab each other! - I apologize.

Give me a chance, I have family.

- I love you, please. - It must never happen again.

- Thank you. - Don't grease me, go to work!

Let it not happen again!

- Ernando, you must apologize to him. - My name is Ernesto!

Please do not intrude.

The Neapolitan must apologize to the Egyptian.

She told him that he smells like all Africans.

Ouest is a democratic kitchen!

The Egyptian smells like the Neapolitan And the Neapolitan like the Roman.

- Oui we all stink! - Then he apologizes. - Oh my God!

Come, I need to talk to you.

- I don't apologize to you. - Racist!

We try to work in the best best way, I vouched for you.

Now work And don't bust my chops.

- All right. - Are you sure? - Yes.

- Will you throw peach pits at me? - Come on up.

- Am I coming up? - Yes!

It's two o'clock in the morning!

- Waiting for you. - Me?

Yes.

I wanted to apologize.

I never can keep quiet, I never get...

- What's the word? - My business. - Yes.

My cocks.

Please don't walk And speak softly.

- Oui underneath you can hear everything. - All right.

However, I forgive you.

- Peace? - Peace.

There are people.

- Take off your shoes. - Yes.

She is my daughter.

With boyfriend.

Drop the cigarette.

Is he feeling it, touching it?

I'm going to kick his ass!

The stub.

Who is he?

It's the Spanish woman. What are you doing here?

- Ouello you do. - Meaning?

I am with a man, a friend.

What do you do?

I get it, there are too many of us here.

We go away.

Take it easy, my father sleeps down here.

J "There is snow in my memories. there is always snow."

"My brain turns white..."

"...if I don't stop remembering."

Did you like my poem?

Yes.

I wrote it for my father on the one day we were left alone...

..me and him.

He took me to the snow for the first time.

Good night.

(Ernesto) I later realized that she had returned to solve a problem...

..perhaps the only problem of his life.

She had not seen her father for twenty years And all she remembered of him was...

..raven black hair and the name she had written in her diary.

Where can I find the driver Giovanni Pasotti?

- It is on the 30 crossed out. - Give me a note.

Good morning.

Hurry up Or else they will blame me for the delay.

What is he doing on his feet? He also has a child.

Please take a seat.

(Ernesto) He stayed on that bus all the way to the end of the line...

..but he did not have the courage to speak.

Every word stuck in her throat. It seemed absurd to her that this man ...

..was really his father.

(Tv) The female tiger. busy Bringing food to the young...

..watches over them during the meal And eats when they are full.

SMS SIGNAL lN ARRlVO.

- Are there butts on the ground? - No.

- What's wrong with you? - Nothing.

I don't want to ruin your life.

I wanted to tell you That the kiss the other night ...

..it was a game, it was not important.

Then what was it?

It is that I trust only you.

You seem to be an honest person, decent.

You are a man who gives confidence.

- Why are you crying? - Because...

I know myself, I know what I'm like.

I have grown fond of you, maybe I am strange...

..but I don't like those my age, they are stupid, empty.

I don't even look at them, I like men your age...

..old people.

- "Old" is not the right word. - No!

- How do you say it in Italian? - We say "mature person."

Old is. your grandmother, the concierge, Mr. Tamburini, the blind man.

Mature.

- In short, I brought you up To ask you a question. - Tell me.

- You have to be honest, though. - Sure.

If we have sex, promise not to fall in love with me....

..not to ruin your life for me?

- Sex? - Don't you want to have sex with me?

(Ernesto) Only in certain moments we discover how we are made.

That question I shouldn't have even had to answer it...

..Instead, I was impaled like a stockfish.

(Cecilia) So it is not sin, so are not we...

..we are two ghosts.

(Ernesto) It was a period Of lies. subterfuge.

We never slept. every moment Was good for making love.

I would help myself with the appropriate tablets.

We used to do this as many as four times a day.

- Love. - After 20 minutes, I go into abstinence with you.

It closes at eight o'clock.

Come on, let's climb over!

- Where are you going? - Come on!

You can't!

Come.

Come.

Come, it's hot, Arnaldo!

- Come. - Ernesto.

It can't be done, we get arrested.

- It is trespassing on private property. - It is 3 a.m.

Everyone is asleep, only you worry.

If there is a gate, there must be a reason!

You sound like a policeman.

- Jump! - I used to jump!

- "Jump." - That's it, jump!

It's six meters, pole vaulting!

The water is beautiful! Come!

- Ah! - What are you doing?

Porco Judas! He tore off his coat.

Come on, it's hot!

Yes, you are right.

You are right, my love! "Carpe diem."

Shit, it's slippery.

- She is beautiful! - My love!

AN ABBAlA DOG. What a beautiful evening!

- I thank you. - You have to trust me.

A DOG ABBAlA - Stop barking! - Shh!

Don't shout.

- Now we are alone. - No, look.

My goodness!

He is not as bad as he looks.

My guess is that he thinks we are crunchy. What do we do?

Keep him busy while I climb over, then I call him and you climb over.

- I didn't understand, what should I do? - Distract him!

Yes.

I -- friend.

Damn you.

- Wait! - Hurry, before it dives!

He's off! Look how he runs!

Go!

Don't throw stones at him, you make him nervous.

Come.

Distract him!

Do you follow me?

Do you follow me? Answer. Is it far or near?

He almost got me, call him!

Go away!

What the fuck is going on?

- Stop. - Yes, but call the dog And get me down.

Stop, Fritz!

- Love. - You don't have to come here With hookers!

I am not a whore, how dare he?

- You're not a whore? - No. - Then I'll call the carabinieri.

, Sorry, don't call the carabinieri. let's do one thing.

Let me come down and we'll make a deal.

- Give me 150 euros. - You are a shit of a man!

- Never mind, it is already a situation paradoxical. - Am I a shit?

- No! - I want 300 euros!

Believe me.

..I don't have 300 euros, I swear to you. on my wife and daughter.

I only have 200 euros, please accept them, do me this favor.

- That's all I have. - All right.

Thank you, you are a gentleman.

Oual sir? It cost you so much this fuck!

- Ernesto. - Hi.

- It's 6.05, do you know? - Yes.

If you smell sulfur, it is not sulfur.

Last night, the the drain pipe in the kitchen.

We went down into the cesspool And we impregnated ourselves . .

- This? - What?

What is it?

- I cut myself with the razor. - No, that one.

Ouest.

Renata, we need to talk seriously.

You have another one, I know.

Yes, I have another one, thank God.

All right, I forgive you.

- Do you forgive me? What does that mean? - I forgive you.

- I betrayed you, do you forgive me? - Yes!

You got laid, what's the big deal?

Now go to sleep And tomorrow we start fresh.

You are taking it from the wrong side, because you're not.

It is not what you think, it is much more than that.

Where is the suitcase?

In every marriage there comes a moment of great weariness...

..and sometimes a moment of no return.

I am afraid that this is a moment of no return.

I forgive you, will you leave me and Maura alone?

- You will be all right. - Don't go! - Renata, you are incorrect!

You use an emotional tactic to make me feel guilty.

You have to get pissed off, you have to throw me out of the house.

- All right? - Instead, I forgive you. - You are wooden!

At your age it can happen, stay with us.

I throw myself out.

You have never seen a woman use such ridiculous pietisms.

- Goodbye. - Dad, are you going out without shoes?

Yes, I like to go out barefoot!

- What happened to him? - Maybe he "pippa" cocaine.

In the hospital, no one can keep to the schedule.

For me, a boiled sea bass. We doctors are always in chaos.

Ernesto.

- What are you doing? - I was summarizing.

- Ouante are the veracious ones? - No.

- A boiled sea bass and a lobster Catalan style. - The lobster is there.

- And a boiled sea bass. - Go, Ernesto.

KNOCKING AT THE DOOR Oh my God!

KNOCKING AT THE DOOR Busy!

- Love, open up! - Yes.

- You left your family! - Yes. - Did you do that for me?

For us, an angel entered into my life.

- I told you not to fall in love. - That's okay.

- What do we do now? - I don't know.

- Let's make love. - How?

- Oui, on the "sink." - How do you do that?

(Ernesto) Ouella is the pocket, the zipper is this.

- (Cecilia) Love! - (Ernesto) Ah! - (Cecilia) Yes!

FRACASSO No!

Holy shit!

Damn the "sink!"

Oh my God! Cecilia, help me!

Help me!

Tonight I am the event! It's me!

- How is he? - He must not be fatigued.

J Just two minutes. the primary doesn't want.

How are you?

It was quite a blow.

It's my fault! Forgive me.

l CARDlAc BATTlE INCREASES. Don't fret.

- Sorry, shh! - It's not your fault.

I was an asshole.

- What? - I was a big asshole.

- Did your wife come? - Yes.

She forgave me, even my daughter.

Then you go home.

Tell me what to do! I have a plane in the morning.

THE CARDlAc BATTLE INCREASES. Do I leave or stay?

Leave, it's better. You have to leave.

Yes.

Parts.

J We were two assholes We hurt each other.

Some.

Goodbye, Ernesto.

- Next year I'm coming to see you. - What?

I'm coming back to see you. THE CARDlAc BATTLE INCREASES.

If you want to, bye.

Ouest kills me.

I die here, no joke.

- Excuse me, will you hold the baby for me? - Yes. - Perfect.

- What's he doing? - Paco. Like this.

- Thank you. - You are welcome, but what are you doing?

I wanted to see how my son looked In the arms of a grandfather.

I would be a grandfather? What is she saying? She's crazy!

I would call him Ernesto, the other time. he did the whole broadcast.

- If she doesn't answer? - Your wife is there.

- Lucia. - Happy birthday. - Hello, Lucia! - Hello.

- What is it? I have to open it. - Yes.

A watch, you're crazy!

We are about to go live, stay with us.

A guy tells us about his extreme love in installments.

However, he does it secretly from his wife.

- Are we ready? - Yes. - Call him now, without initials.

Put on the headset.

CELLULAR SOUlL.

Who is he?

Hello? Who is this?

- I don't hear well. - This is D.J. Fulvio, you are live on the air. Can you talk?

Yes-no.

I hear the metallic voice.

- In this house there is no longer a signal. - Who is he? - The administrator.

- The administrator? - I don't know what he wants. wait.

Commendatore. I'm going to move.

Can you hear me?

Fulvio.

I could not speak.

I go to a place where there is a field.

- Here I am. - We want to know the latest installment of your adventure.

Maybe these days I haven't told you everything.

If I didn't have a family, a wife and a daughter...

..that they had taken me back home, I would have been a poor man now.

Family is important.

Think of the embrace of your wife...

..to dialogue with your daughter.

You're always on the toilet!

The daughter is a boor.

In the bathroom there is more field because the repeater is there.

The toilet's all yours, you pain in the ass!

Fulvio.

Ou those eyes that shone looked like two beacons...

..And that blinding smile ... looked like a sun when he laughed.

Ouando a man feels on him that look...

..it is inevitable That something inside explodes.

I had not one heart attack, but three, four!

The first one when we met...

..the second when he caressed me .

..and the third When we kissed here.

I was going to die, Fulvio.

But if someone asked: "Ernesto, was it worth it?"

I would answer, "It was worth it!"

It was really worth it!

Ernesto, give us one more image.

(Ernesto) I don't know. Fulvio.

I had never cheated on my wife and subsequently I did not do it again....

..however, when we fight And I want to feel unfaithful ...

..I go up to the terrace, I put a sheet over my head ...

And I recite that poem.

_ "There is snow in my memories. there is always snow."

"My brain turns white if I don't stop remembering."

Oui underneath nothing is sin.

Subtitles: Laser S. Film S. r.l. - Rome