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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162
WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
1
00:00:08,216 --> 00:00:10,083
Thank you for
bringing me here.
2
00:00:10,085 --> 00:00:12,102
I am so glad we made
it. That snowstorm
3
00:00:12,104 --> 00:00:13,520
was getting really bad.
4
00:00:13,522 --> 00:00:15,105
Wait, you think
this is a snowstorm?
5
00:00:15,107 --> 00:00:17,724
This is nothing.
I'll tell you about a snowstorm.
6
00:00:17,726 --> 00:00:20,694
It was winter break,
freshman year of college...
7
00:00:20,696 --> 00:00:22,295
Marshall and I wereroommates, but we weren't
8
00:00:22,297 --> 00:00:23,897
really good friends yet.
THE MOTHER: Wait, stop.
9
00:00:23,899 --> 00:00:25,365
You've told me this one before.
10
00:00:25,367 --> 00:00:26,483
I have? When?
11
00:00:26,485 --> 00:00:28,869
Uh, let's see. It was...
12
00:00:28,871 --> 00:00:29,853
all the time.
13
00:00:29,855 --> 00:00:32,289
Really?
(deep breath)
14
00:00:32,291 --> 00:00:33,907
You and Marshall
drove back to school...
15
00:00:33,909 --> 00:00:35,642
"500 Miles" played on a loop.
16
00:00:35,644 --> 00:00:37,127
You took a back road,ran out of gas,
17
00:00:37,129 --> 00:00:39,612
got stuck in a snowstorm,spooned to stay warm--
18
00:00:39,614 --> 00:00:40,997
at least that's your story--
19
00:00:40,999 --> 00:00:43,166
and at the end of it,you were best friends.
20
00:00:43,168 --> 00:00:46,469
Okay. Okay, that's fine,
because guess what.
21
00:00:46,471 --> 00:00:47,888
That wasn't even the worst
snowstorm ever.
22
00:00:47,890 --> 00:00:49,456
It was 2008...
23
00:00:49,458 --> 00:00:50,891
Barney and I...
THE MOTHER: Took over the bar,
24
00:00:50,893 --> 00:00:53,059
met the Arizona Techmarching band-- "Go Hens!"--
25
00:00:53,061 --> 00:00:54,394
and they played"Auld Lang Syne" when Marshall
26
00:00:54,396 --> 00:00:56,229
picked up Lily at the airport.
27
00:00:56,231 --> 00:00:59,099
Okay. Have I told you about
the time that Marshall...
28
00:00:59,101 --> 00:01:01,518
THE MOTHER: Tried to put Christmas lightson Lily's grandparents' house
29
00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:03,303
and the little ragamuffin fromnext door left him stranded
30
00:01:03,305 --> 00:01:04,671
on the roof?
31
00:01:04,673 --> 00:01:06,006
Did Lily tell you that one?
32
00:01:06,008 --> 00:01:07,407
Yeah.
33
00:01:07,409 --> 00:01:10,110
Lily used the word "ragamuffin."
34
00:01:12,830 --> 00:01:14,297
So I've told you
all my stories.
35
00:01:14,299 --> 00:01:16,333
I'm afraid so.
But luckily
36
00:01:16,335 --> 00:01:19,169
I have plenty of stories
that you don't know yet.
37
00:01:19,171 --> 00:01:21,454
Like the one where my
college roommates and I
38
00:01:21,456 --> 00:01:22,655
went to this male strip club...
39
00:01:22,657 --> 00:01:24,507
And your friend Dongnose
got smacked on the nose
40
00:01:24,509 --> 00:01:25,792
with a dong?
41
00:01:25,794 --> 00:01:26,743
I know that one.
42
00:01:26,745 --> 00:01:29,679
Okay.
43
00:01:29,681 --> 00:01:31,715
What about the story
that explains how...
44
00:01:31,717 --> 00:01:33,350
Dongnose got her
nickname "Dongnose"
45
00:01:33,352 --> 00:01:35,752
and that it had nothing to do
with the dong-smacking incident?
46
00:01:35,754 --> 00:01:37,103
Heard it, loved it,
47
00:01:37,105 --> 00:01:40,140
called it the greatest
coincidence of the 21st century.
48
00:01:40,142 --> 00:01:42,342
Wow.
49
00:01:42,344 --> 00:01:45,145
You know every one
of my stories.
50
00:01:45,147 --> 00:01:48,281
And you know every one of mine.
51
00:01:48,283 --> 00:01:50,617
I guess it's official.
52
00:01:50,619 --> 00:01:52,185
We're an old married couple.
53
00:01:54,455 --> 00:01:56,489
Nice!
We did it!
54
00:01:58,355 --> 00:02:02,355
♪ How I Met Your Mother 9x19 ♪
Vesuvius
Original Air Date on March 3, 2014
55
00:02:02,380 --> 00:02:07,380
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
56
00:02:11,349 --> 00:02:13,100
Well, well, if it
isn't the Mosbys.
57
00:02:13,102 --> 00:02:14,518
Hi.
Hi.
58
00:02:14,520 --> 00:02:17,555
Here for a romantic weekend
away from the kids.
59
00:02:17,557 --> 00:02:19,857
(laughs) It's a good thing there's no
guests on either side of you,
60
00:02:19,859 --> 00:02:22,059
'cause those bedsprings
are gonna squeak like mice
61
00:02:22,061 --> 00:02:24,361
in a cheese factory.
Am I right? (laughs)
62
00:02:24,363 --> 00:02:26,447
Just don't break any
of the lamps like your friends
63
00:02:26,449 --> 00:02:28,649
Barney and Robin, okay?
That's not how the lamp broke.
64
00:02:28,651 --> 00:02:30,734
Of course not. All right,
you have fun, you two.
65
00:02:30,736 --> 00:02:31,935
(chuckles)
66
00:02:31,937 --> 00:02:33,370
Uh,
67
00:02:33,372 --> 00:02:34,605
what lamp is this?
68
00:02:34,607 --> 00:02:36,540
The lamp Robin broke
the day of the wedding.
69
00:02:37,042 --> 00:02:38,959
Oh, my God.
70
00:02:38,961 --> 00:02:40,110
You don't know this one.
71
00:02:40,629 --> 00:02:42,112
Oh... man.
72
00:02:42,114 --> 00:02:43,747
This is a good one.
(laughs)
73
00:02:43,749 --> 00:02:45,299
I mean, it's got everything.
74
00:02:45,301 --> 00:02:47,635
Intrigue, betrayal, lamps.
75
00:02:47,637 --> 00:02:50,821
It is a ripping yarn,
so buckle your seatbelt.
76
00:02:50,823 --> 00:02:52,423
Just tell the story.
Okay.
77
00:02:52,425 --> 00:02:54,508
Here goes.
78
00:02:55,277 --> 00:02:57,811
Robin broke a lamp.
79
00:03:00,131 --> 00:03:01,649
Okay, this has to stop.
80
00:03:01,651 --> 00:03:04,101
Come on, we're
just having fun.
81
00:03:04,103 --> 00:03:06,803
It has been
a long weekend.
82
00:03:06,805 --> 00:03:08,022
This is how I relax.
83
00:03:08,024 --> 00:03:10,357
Really?
84
00:03:10,359 --> 00:03:11,775
This is how you relax?
85
00:03:11,777 --> 00:03:14,612
By not getting a single shot
past me the entire morning?
86
00:03:14,614 --> 00:03:17,281
You suck, Scherbatsky,
you shoot like my grandma.
87
00:03:17,283 --> 00:03:19,750
Okay, Scherbatsky,
you just poked the dragon.
88
00:03:19,752 --> 00:03:21,168
Here comes the bride.
89
00:03:21,170 --> 00:03:22,986
Whoa, whoa, whoa, okay,
okay. How about
90
00:03:22,988 --> 00:03:26,874
we switch to an activity that's
more suited to somebody who's,
91
00:03:26,876 --> 00:03:29,543
you know, (chuckles),
getting married today?
92
00:03:29,545 --> 00:03:32,563
Oh. We gonna go
chug some Labatts?
93
00:03:32,565 --> 00:03:36,450
I was thinking we could chug
some memories instead.
94
00:03:36,452 --> 00:03:39,286
"Barney & Robin:
Lovers Forever
95
00:03:39,288 --> 00:03:40,521
"and Ever
and Ever:
96
00:03:40,523 --> 00:03:42,556
A Love Story."
97
00:03:42,558 --> 00:03:44,892
Sounds cheesy. I'm gonna go barf
forever and ever and ever.
98
00:03:44,894 --> 00:03:46,443
See you, hosers.
99
00:03:48,280 --> 00:03:50,114
It's not cheesy.
100
00:03:50,116 --> 00:03:53,334
(gentle tune starts chiming)
101
00:03:53,336 --> 00:03:54,818
See?
102
00:03:54,820 --> 00:03:56,453
(sniffles)
103
00:04:05,080 --> 00:04:07,698
Uh, can you tell me
the name of the guest
104
00:04:07,700 --> 00:04:09,249
staying in room nine?
105
00:04:09,251 --> 00:04:10,751
I'm sorry.
106
00:04:10,753 --> 00:04:13,003
That would violate
hotel privacy policy.
107
00:04:14,255 --> 00:04:18,309
Well, maybe my old friend
Mr. Lincoln...
108
00:04:18,311 --> 00:04:21,345
can emancipate that information.
109
00:04:23,815 --> 00:04:25,766
I'm so sorry, I wasn't clear.
110
00:04:25,768 --> 00:04:29,553
I can't violate
our hotel privacy policy.
111
00:04:30,822 --> 00:04:32,356
For five dollars.
112
00:04:37,278 --> 00:04:38,879
Something with
a two on it is fine.
113
00:04:38,881 --> 00:04:41,081
But those are super rare and
the one I have is kind of lucky.
114
00:04:41,083 --> 00:04:42,616
Just give me a 20, Mr. Mosby.
115
00:04:50,408 --> 00:04:53,477
That room belongs
to a Ms. Susan Tupp.
116
00:04:53,479 --> 00:04:55,796
Oh, boy.
117
00:04:58,917 --> 00:05:01,435
BARNEY:
God, you're gorgeous.
118
00:05:01,437 --> 00:05:05,272
Oh, I can't wait
to be inside you.
119
00:05:05,274 --> 00:05:08,592
Barney. Get out here,
this is your wedding day.
120
00:05:08,594 --> 00:05:11,061
Wha... (grunts)
121
00:05:11,063 --> 00:05:12,696
Where is she?
Who?
122
00:05:12,698 --> 00:05:15,482
Look, I just grossly overpaid
for some information
123
00:05:15,484 --> 00:05:17,151
about this room,
so I know it's accurate.
124
00:05:17,153 --> 00:05:19,787
This room belongs
to Susan Tupp.
125
00:05:19,789 --> 00:05:21,038
Who?
126
00:05:21,040 --> 00:05:22,539
Susan Tupp.
127
00:05:22,541 --> 00:05:23,607
Who?
128
00:05:23,609 --> 00:05:26,243
Sue...
129
00:05:26,245 --> 00:05:27,661
Tupp.
130
00:05:27,663 --> 00:05:28,729
Suit up.
131
00:05:28,731 --> 00:05:29,880
I'm trying to.
132
00:05:29,882 --> 00:05:32,049
I need you to help me
133
00:05:32,051 --> 00:05:34,418
pick the suit I'm gonna wear
when I walk down the aisle.
134
00:05:34,420 --> 00:05:35,619
Okay,
135
00:05:35,621 --> 00:05:38,722
Robin walks down the aisle,
you wait at the end of it.
136
00:05:38,724 --> 00:05:41,959
Okay, then the suit
I'll be wearing
137
00:05:41,961 --> 00:05:45,329
when they all stand as I enter the chapel.
That's also her.
138
00:05:45,331 --> 00:05:47,731
Really? Man, the fellas
sure do get boned
139
00:05:47,733 --> 00:05:49,850
on the whole wedding thing, don't they?
Okay.
140
00:05:49,852 --> 00:05:51,985
All right, well, let's,
let's pick you a suit.
141
00:05:51,987 --> 00:05:53,270
What are... what are
the top contenders?
142
00:05:53,272 --> 00:05:56,190
Well, after careful
consideration,
143
00:05:56,192 --> 00:05:58,475
I have narrowed it down to
144
00:05:58,477 --> 00:06:00,577
these ones...
145
00:06:00,579 --> 00:06:01,912
and these ones...
146
00:06:01,914 --> 00:06:03,831
and the other ones in this room
147
00:06:03,833 --> 00:06:06,166
and all the ones
in the adjoining room.
148
00:06:06,168 --> 00:06:07,707
So you've narrowed it down
to all your suits.
149
00:06:07,732 --> 00:06:08,870
Yeah, we're screwed.
150
00:06:08,871 --> 00:06:10,987
And this is a picture
of the restaurant
151
00:06:10,989 --> 00:06:14,091
where you and Barney
had your first date.
152
00:06:14,093 --> 00:06:16,593
And now you're getting married.
153
00:06:16,595 --> 00:06:20,330
Mm.
And this is the receipt
154
00:06:20,332 --> 00:06:22,165
from the meal you and Barney ate
155
00:06:22,167 --> 00:06:24,802
at that restaurant
on your first date.
156
00:06:24,804 --> 00:06:27,638
And now you're getting married.
157
00:06:27,640 --> 00:06:29,039
Can we look at this later?
158
00:06:29,041 --> 00:06:31,592
Later? There is no later.
159
00:06:31,594 --> 00:06:32,843
Robin,
160
00:06:32,845 --> 00:06:35,229
this is a day
you only get to do once.
161
00:06:35,231 --> 00:06:38,449
You need to appreciate
the importance of it right now.
162
00:06:38,451 --> 00:06:40,951
Oh, my God.
163
00:06:40,953 --> 00:06:45,456
How did I only
just now realize this?
164
00:06:45,458 --> 00:06:48,208
Dude, this hotel has
The Wedding Bride 2
165
00:06:48,210 --> 00:06:49,309
on pay-per-view.
166
00:06:49,311 --> 00:06:51,028
Score.
167
00:06:51,030 --> 00:06:53,213
This is the best
day of my life!
168
00:06:56,569 --> 00:06:59,392
I mean, I know Robin's
not the girliest girl,
169
00:06:59,393 --> 00:07:01,359
but you'd think
on her wedding day,
170
00:07:01,361 --> 00:07:03,695
she'd be at least
a little sentimental.
171
00:07:03,697 --> 00:07:05,447
Everyone deals with getting
married differently.
172
00:07:05,449 --> 00:07:07,649
I got what I thought was
the worst haircut ever.
173
00:07:07,651 --> 00:07:10,335
Till I fixed it with the
actual worst haircut ever.
174
00:07:10,337 --> 00:07:12,537
Which led to the worst
wedding photos ever.
175
00:07:12,539 --> 00:07:15,957
But at least you had
a wedding day freak-out.
176
00:07:15,959 --> 00:07:17,409
Baby, don't worry.
Any minute now,
177
00:07:17,411 --> 00:07:19,577
Robin's gonna get smacked
in the face with her own
178
00:07:19,579 --> 00:07:21,713
"holy crap, this
is my wedding" moment,
179
00:07:21,715 --> 00:07:24,466
and then she's gonna wedding out
all over the place. I promise.
180
00:07:24,468 --> 00:07:26,751
But you can't force it,
it has to just happen.
181
00:07:26,753 --> 00:07:29,971
Mm, I don't know. I mean,
she bailed on my scrapbook
182
00:07:29,973 --> 00:07:31,973
when she found out
The Wedding Bride 2
183
00:07:31,975 --> 00:07:32,987
is on pay-per-view.
184
00:07:33,012 --> 00:07:34,601
The Wedding Bride 2
is on pay-per-view?!
185
00:07:36,679 --> 00:07:37,762
CURTIS:
I'm sorry, did...
186
00:07:37,764 --> 00:07:39,264
did I hear you guys
talking about
187
00:07:39,266 --> 00:07:40,465
The Wedding Bride?
188
00:07:40,467 --> 00:07:41,850
Oh, God.
The movie or the...
189
00:07:41,852 --> 00:07:43,668
smash Broadway musical?
190
00:07:43,670 --> 00:07:47,405
(scoffs) Smash? Oh, oh, oh,
I-I guess a show's a smash now
191
00:07:47,407 --> 00:07:49,774
if it closes
after only 96 weeks.
192
00:07:51,026 --> 00:07:52,911
So my husband's
ex-fiancé's husband
193
00:07:52,913 --> 00:07:54,863
wrote the screenplay
for The Wedding Bride.
194
00:07:54,865 --> 00:07:58,450
"Jed Mosley"
was based on Ted.
195
00:07:58,452 --> 00:08:01,186
Okay, Jed was not based on me...
196
00:08:01,188 --> 00:08:02,270
Hey!
197
00:08:02,272 --> 00:08:04,089
That is not a toy,
you ragamuffin.
198
00:08:04,091 --> 00:08:08,910
That is an authentic flail
I won at the Renaissance fair.
199
00:08:08,912 --> 00:08:10,111
...entirely.
200
00:08:10,963 --> 00:08:13,715
But, regardless, there's...
201
00:08:13,717 --> 00:08:15,500
there's still some
lingering pain there and...
202
00:08:15,502 --> 00:08:16,935
Well, as you can imagine,
203
00:08:16,937 --> 00:08:19,003
my friends promised me
that they'd never watch it.
204
00:08:19,005 --> 00:08:20,772
Wow.
205
00:08:20,774 --> 00:08:22,507
Those are some good friends.
206
00:08:22,509 --> 00:08:24,793
Oh, they're the best.
207
00:08:25,478 --> 00:08:28,029
Oh, oh, whoa!
208
00:08:28,031 --> 00:08:29,814
My wiener!
209
00:08:29,816 --> 00:08:32,784
I can't believe Jed made us
promise not to watch this.
210
00:08:32,786 --> 00:08:34,018
Wait, you mean Ted.
211
00:08:34,020 --> 00:08:35,804
Whatever. Same guy.
212
00:08:37,656 --> 00:08:40,041
See, I would have expected you
to have an extra-special suit
213
00:08:40,043 --> 00:08:41,409
tailor-made
just for this occasion.
214
00:08:41,411 --> 00:08:42,794
Oh, I did.
215
00:08:42,796 --> 00:08:45,463
I had my boy Timmy G make
the perfect wedding suit.
216
00:08:45,465 --> 00:08:46,748
You ever heard of "bespoke"?
217
00:08:46,750 --> 00:08:48,533
This suit was
be-freaking-screamed.
218
00:08:48,535 --> 00:08:51,035
But then I tried it on this
morning and it was uncomfortable
219
00:08:51,037 --> 00:08:53,538
and itchy and completely wrong.
It was like a suit made
220
00:08:53,540 --> 00:08:55,340
for someone
with terrible posture,
221
00:08:55,342 --> 00:08:58,209
no taste and limited funds.
222
00:08:58,211 --> 00:08:59,644
Here, you take it.
223
00:08:59,646 --> 00:09:01,146
The only
question is,
224
00:09:01,148 --> 00:09:03,114
which of these
other suits do I pick?
225
00:09:03,116 --> 00:09:05,016
There are so many great
ones to choose from.
226
00:09:05,018 --> 00:09:06,184
Uh,
227
00:09:06,186 --> 00:09:07,218
how about this one?
228
00:09:07,220 --> 00:09:09,687
Yes. Yes, that's the one.
229
00:09:09,689 --> 00:09:12,607
Oh, hey, quick question: is it
weird to get married in a suit
230
00:09:12,609 --> 00:09:15,393
that you may have worn while
banging a female rodeo clown?
231
00:09:17,229 --> 00:09:18,530
I know what you're wondering.
232
00:09:18,532 --> 00:09:20,765
Yes, the carpet
matched the drapes.
233
00:09:20,767 --> 00:09:23,034
Of course that's weird.
Every part of that is weird.
234
00:09:23,036 --> 00:09:24,068
Mm.
235
00:09:24,070 --> 00:09:25,420
Uh, what about this suit?
236
00:09:25,422 --> 00:09:27,505
Huh?
(slow chuckle)
237
00:09:27,507 --> 00:09:30,191
Let's just say I stuffed
a lot of bunnies in that suit.
238
00:09:30,193 --> 00:09:31,993
Ugh, Barney, do you have
to phrase it that way?
239
00:09:31,995 --> 00:09:35,213
Actual bunnies, Ted.
This is my magic suit.
240
00:09:35,215 --> 00:09:36,881
Get your mind out
of the gutter.
241
00:09:36,883 --> 00:09:40,385
Though, I did once wear it
to the Playboy holiday party
242
00:09:40,387 --> 00:09:42,587
and, uh... (chuckles)
243
00:09:42,589 --> 00:09:45,690
Let's just say I stuffed a lot
of Bunnies in that suit.
244
00:09:47,726 --> 00:09:48,926
Uh...
245
00:09:48,928 --> 00:09:50,361
How about this one?
Oh, man,
246
00:09:50,363 --> 00:09:52,981
I went crazy on an escort
in that one.
247
00:09:52,983 --> 00:09:54,189
Barney, come on.
248
00:09:54,214 --> 00:09:56,833
A Ford Escort, Ted,
I did it on a car.
249
00:09:56,870 --> 00:09:59,537
With a woman who I then
may or may not have paid.
250
00:09:59,539 --> 00:10:01,039
Yeah, that one's out, too.
251
00:10:02,408 --> 00:10:05,393
Okay, so your wedding's
in a few hours.
252
00:10:05,395 --> 00:10:07,328
Kind of strange
to spend those hours
253
00:10:07,330 --> 00:10:09,047
watching a terrible movie,
right?
254
00:10:09,049 --> 00:10:12,000
Terrible? Lily,
this movie is a revelation.
255
00:10:12,002 --> 00:10:13,951
I can't believe that Ted
wouldn't let us see it.
256
00:10:13,953 --> 00:10:16,754
Yeah. Why was he hanging
so much beef on this movie?
257
00:10:16,756 --> 00:10:19,057
Just 'cause there's a character
based on him? (laughs)
258
00:10:19,059 --> 00:10:22,060
Of course. I'll make
all weddings illegal.
259
00:10:22,062 --> 00:10:24,062
Then Stella can never
be a wedding bride.
260
00:10:24,064 --> 00:10:25,230
(cackles)
261
00:10:25,232 --> 00:10:26,531
Ooh,
262
00:10:26,533 --> 00:10:29,150
No-can-I-do's-ville, baby doll.
263
00:10:29,152 --> 00:10:31,469
It's like,
"Relax, Ted,
264
00:10:31,471 --> 00:10:34,272
it's no big deal.
You should be flattered."
265
00:10:34,274 --> 00:10:36,357
And now to celebrate with
that piece of chocolate cake
266
00:10:36,359 --> 00:10:37,825
I've been saving.
267
00:10:37,827 --> 00:10:38,960
What?!
268
00:10:38,962 --> 00:10:40,478
Who ate my cake?!
269
00:10:42,281 --> 00:10:44,649
Uh, what cake?
270
00:10:44,651 --> 00:10:47,118
Narshall!
271
00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:50,471
Narshall?
272
00:10:51,390 --> 00:10:53,491
Narshall. How dare they?
273
00:10:53,493 --> 00:10:54,325
That is
insulting
274
00:10:54,327 --> 00:10:55,677
and ridiculous
275
00:10:55,679 --> 00:10:57,262
and I am nothing
like that character.
276
00:10:57,264 --> 00:10:59,163
I'm gonna sue everyone involved
with this film.
277
00:10:59,165 --> 00:11:02,634
So, you're-you're gonna sue
them on the grounds that
278
00:11:02,636 --> 00:11:05,570
nothing like that cake thing
has ever happened?
279
00:11:10,559 --> 00:11:12,160
(sighs)
280
00:11:12,162 --> 00:11:13,978
If Ted didn't want me
to eat that cake,
281
00:11:13,980 --> 00:11:15,597
he should have put a note on it.
282
00:11:15,599 --> 00:11:17,782
(knocking)
283
00:11:21,570 --> 00:11:24,155
Oh, hi, Grandma.
Robin, sweetheart.
284
00:11:24,157 --> 00:11:25,957
I wanted you
to have this.
285
00:11:25,959 --> 00:11:29,210
It's me and your grandpa
on our wedding day.
286
00:11:29,212 --> 00:11:30,712
Aw, that's so sweet.
287
00:11:30,714 --> 00:11:31,929
See my bouquet?
288
00:11:31,931 --> 00:11:33,881
Those wildflowers--
289
00:11:33,883 --> 00:11:36,250
they were supposed
to be hydrangeas,
290
00:11:36,252 --> 00:11:38,336
but there was a mix-up
at the florist's.
291
00:11:38,338 --> 00:11:40,388
I was so upset.
292
00:11:40,390 --> 00:11:42,924
Your grandpa went
behind the church
293
00:11:42,926 --> 00:11:45,176
and picked
those wildflowers
294
00:11:45,178 --> 00:11:46,978
for me. And now
295
00:11:46,980 --> 00:11:48,980
he's buried...
Behind the very same church,
296
00:11:48,982 --> 00:11:50,915
surrounded
by the very same wildflowers.
297
00:11:50,917 --> 00:11:53,217
Okay, Grandma,
watching a movie. Got to go.
298
00:11:53,919 --> 00:11:55,236
Every single holiday,
299
00:11:55,238 --> 00:11:56,554
that same dumb story.
300
00:11:56,556 --> 00:11:59,440
Sorry, Grandma, not as touching
as you think it is.
301
00:11:59,442 --> 00:12:01,659
(crying):
At the very same church.
302
00:12:01,661 --> 00:12:03,060
Now, I want to see
303
00:12:03,062 --> 00:12:06,931
if Jed can get his wiener
unstuck from that thermos.
304
00:12:06,933 --> 00:12:09,617
(chuckling)
No-can-do's-ville, baby doll.
305
00:12:09,619 --> 00:12:11,285
Uh, I'm sorry.
Did you just
306
00:12:11,287 --> 00:12:13,516
turn off the bride's TV
on her wedding day?
307
00:12:13,541 --> 00:12:13,956
Oh!
308
00:12:13,957 --> 00:12:16,073
Oh! Is this your wedding day?
(chuckles)
309
00:12:16,075 --> 00:12:18,042
I'm sorry. I couldn't tell
because you're acting
310
00:12:18,044 --> 00:12:21,596
like it's any other
Sunday morning, and it's not.
311
00:12:21,598 --> 00:12:23,848
Lily, if you're waiting for me
to suddenly turn
312
00:12:23,850 --> 00:12:26,134
into th-th-the Wedding Bride,
you just give up.
313
00:12:26,136 --> 00:12:27,852
That's just not me.
Fine.
314
00:12:27,854 --> 00:12:31,105
Maybe we should all just act
like this wedding's no big deal.
315
00:12:31,107 --> 00:12:34,859
Maybe I don't even feel like
wearing my bridesmaid's dress.
316
00:12:34,861 --> 00:12:37,545
Great. It-It's just a wedding.
Who cares what people wear?
317
00:12:37,547 --> 00:12:38,730
Say yes to the suit!
318
00:12:38,732 --> 00:12:41,616
(sobbing):
I can't! I can't.
319
00:12:41,618 --> 00:12:44,369
Great. Because I actually
brought a different dress
320
00:12:44,371 --> 00:12:45,703
that I'd like to wear.
321
00:12:45,705 --> 00:12:46,571
Fine.
322
00:12:46,573 --> 00:12:47,905
Oh, no.
323
00:12:47,907 --> 00:12:50,491
Maybe I'll go put it on
right now.
324
00:12:50,493 --> 00:12:51,993
Go right ahead.
What?
325
00:12:51,995 --> 00:12:53,094
(sucks air through teeth)
I'm so sorry.
326
00:12:53,096 --> 00:12:54,111
What, why?
327
00:12:54,113 --> 00:12:56,581
I know this story, too.
328
00:12:56,583 --> 00:12:57,268
Really?
329
00:12:57,293 --> 00:13:00,118
Mm-hmm. Yeah. Robin and Lily get
in a big fight
330
00:13:00,119 --> 00:13:02,837
and then, a few minutes later,
there's a knock at the door.
331
00:13:04,390 --> 00:13:06,507
Hello.
332
00:13:11,344 --> 00:13:12,936
I've told you
this one before.
333
00:13:12,961 --> 00:13:14,370
A few times.
334
00:13:14,371 --> 00:13:16,354
(groans)
I'm just...
335
00:13:16,356 --> 00:13:19,874
a boring old man
who won't stop spinning yarns.
336
00:13:19,876 --> 00:13:22,894
Oh, hey. I love your yarns.
337
00:13:22,896 --> 00:13:25,780
I hope you never stop
spinning them.
338
00:13:26,648 --> 00:13:28,850
But...
339
00:13:28,852 --> 00:13:31,769
You're the love of my life,
Pooh Bear.
340
00:13:31,771 --> 00:13:33,955
I just worry about you.
341
00:13:33,957 --> 00:13:39,860
I don't want you to be the guy
who lives in his stories.
342
00:13:40,579 --> 00:13:43,664
Life only moves forward.
343
00:13:46,301 --> 00:13:48,302
So what happens next?
344
00:13:48,304 --> 00:13:50,521
With Lily and the wedding dress,
I mean.
345
00:13:50,523 --> 00:13:53,474
Well... she brought the dress
346
00:13:53,476 --> 00:13:56,060
so that she and Marshall could
get new wedding photos taken.
347
00:13:56,062 --> 00:13:59,614
Because in yet another story
that I know...
348
00:13:59,616 --> 00:14:02,216
(shouting)
No!
349
00:14:02,218 --> 00:14:05,153
What kind of space would I have
in my brain for other things
350
00:14:05,155 --> 00:14:06,988
if I didn't know all this?
351
00:14:07,740 --> 00:14:09,741
Eh, probably just state birds
352
00:14:09,743 --> 00:14:10,942
or some crap.
353
00:14:10,944 --> 00:14:12,894
(chuckles)
So, uh,
354
00:14:12,896 --> 00:14:15,446
Lily wanted to borrow
Robin's photographer.
355
00:14:15,448 --> 00:14:18,399
That shouldn't be a problem.
Shouldn't be
356
00:14:18,401 --> 00:14:21,085
a problem, Robin? Of course
it should be a problem.
357
00:14:21,087 --> 00:14:22,503
This is your wedding.
358
00:14:22,505 --> 00:14:25,273
You can't let somebody borrow
your photographer.
359
00:14:25,275 --> 00:14:26,758
Don't worry.
She's not serious, Robin.
360
00:14:26,760 --> 00:14:29,260
I didn't even bring the suit
that I wore to our wedding.
361
00:14:29,262 --> 00:14:30,411
Yes, you did.
362
00:14:30,413 --> 00:14:31,262
It's in our room.
363
00:14:31,264 --> 00:14:32,464
Go put it on.
We're doing this.
364
00:14:32,465 --> 00:14:35,183
And, Robin,
since you don't seem to care,
365
00:14:35,185 --> 00:14:37,852
I think I'll be wearing this
to the ceremony.
366
00:14:37,854 --> 00:14:39,137
Fine!
Fine!
367
00:14:39,139 --> 00:14:41,773
Fine. There's a very simple
solution here.
368
00:14:41,775 --> 00:14:43,724
We might as well just face it.
369
00:14:43,726 --> 00:14:45,693
(sighs)
370
00:14:45,695 --> 00:14:48,429
U.S. Marines have to get married
in uniform, so...
371
00:14:48,431 --> 00:14:50,198
I'll just go enlist.
372
00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:52,099
Dude,
373
00:14:52,101 --> 00:14:54,051
we can enlist together!
That's the dream!
374
00:14:54,053 --> 00:14:54,587
That's not the...
375
00:14:54,612 --> 00:14:56,636
I wonder if they let you
pick bunkmates. I hope they do.
376
00:14:56,637 --> 00:14:59,374
Although I might want to request
a single. You'll make friends.
377
00:14:59,375 --> 00:15:00,708
Look, enough of this.
378
00:15:00,710 --> 00:15:03,461
Tim made you this amazing suit.
379
00:15:03,463 --> 00:15:04,745
Put it on.
380
00:15:07,916 --> 00:15:10,051
This feels weird.
381
00:15:10,053 --> 00:15:11,369
That's because it's new.
382
00:15:11,371 --> 00:15:13,137
It's a suit that's never
been worn before,
383
00:15:13,139 --> 00:15:15,423
a suit you never dreamed
you'd wear.
384
00:15:15,425 --> 00:15:18,943
All of this suit's memories
are still ahead of it.
385
00:15:18,945 --> 00:15:20,611
Look,
picture it, huh?
386
00:15:20,613 --> 00:15:22,647
The ceremony.
387
00:15:22,649 --> 00:15:25,933
When everyone stands up for me?
They do that for her.
388
00:15:26,801 --> 00:15:28,402
They should.
389
00:15:28,404 --> 00:15:30,138
She's gonna
look amazing.
390
00:15:30,140 --> 00:15:31,506
You'd better
believe it.
391
00:15:31,508 --> 00:15:34,325
She walks
down the aisle,
392
00:15:34,327 --> 00:15:36,310
you say your vows,
393
00:15:36,312 --> 00:15:38,812
you go
to the reception,
394
00:15:38,814 --> 00:15:40,814
you have
your first dance.
395
00:15:40,816 --> 00:15:43,835
And before you know it,
just like magic,
396
00:15:43,837 --> 00:15:46,204
you realize...
397
00:15:46,206 --> 00:15:48,256
it's a perfect fit.
398
00:15:50,342 --> 00:15:52,326
You're right, Ted.
399
00:15:52,328 --> 00:15:54,495
This is the one.
400
00:15:55,881 --> 00:15:57,381
Thanks.
401
00:15:59,801 --> 00:16:01,452
So...
402
00:16:01,454 --> 00:16:04,055
belts.
403
00:16:07,726 --> 00:16:09,093
Hey, Lil. Nice dress.
404
00:16:09,095 --> 00:16:11,028
(sighs) You two were made
for each other.
405
00:16:11,030 --> 00:16:13,681
Like, does no one care
that I'm wearing this dress?
406
00:16:13,683 --> 00:16:15,149
I care.
407
00:16:15,151 --> 00:16:16,951
Okay. Now you're good.
408
00:16:16,953 --> 00:16:18,569
Okay, look,
409
00:16:18,571 --> 00:16:21,656
I know this is your
wedding, but this is
410
00:16:21,658 --> 00:16:23,541
a big moment
for all of us.
411
00:16:23,543 --> 00:16:26,043
This may be the last time
we're all hanging out together
412
00:16:26,045 --> 00:16:28,062
for who knows how long.
413
00:16:28,064 --> 00:16:29,080
I mean, tomorrow
morning,
414
00:16:29,082 --> 00:16:30,381
Ted's leaving
for Chicag...
415
00:16:30,383 --> 00:16:33,885
Oh, boy.
Lily.
416
00:16:33,887 --> 00:16:36,254
Wait, you already know.
417
00:16:37,022 --> 00:16:38,523
You already know.
418
00:16:38,525 --> 00:16:40,341
You're married to
Lily, which means...
419
00:16:40,343 --> 00:16:42,159
She pocket-texted me
while you were telling her.
420
00:16:42,161 --> 00:16:44,178
So...
421
00:16:44,180 --> 00:16:47,047
everybody knows I'm moving
to Chicago tomorrow.
422
00:16:47,049 --> 00:16:49,734
Lily's right.
423
00:16:49,736 --> 00:16:52,954
We don't know the next time
that we'll all be together.
424
00:16:52,956 --> 00:16:55,273
TED: And then I thinkit hit all of us.
425
00:16:55,275 --> 00:16:57,325
We didn't know the next timewe'd be together.
426
00:16:57,327 --> 00:17:01,045
This was it.
427
00:17:01,047 --> 00:17:02,163
And it's funny.
428
00:17:02,165 --> 00:17:03,247
In a moment like that,
429
00:17:03,249 --> 00:17:04,231
when what's really happening
430
00:17:04,233 --> 00:17:06,083
is too intense to deal with,
431
00:17:06,085 --> 00:17:08,202
sometimes it's best...
432
00:17:09,771 --> 00:17:12,740
To leave it unspoken
433
00:17:12,742 --> 00:17:16,127
and just enjoy
each other's company instead.
434
00:17:17,629 --> 00:17:20,131
You know, I've been wanting
to see this movie.
435
00:17:20,133 --> 00:17:22,516
Yes, movie time.
436
00:17:22,518 --> 00:17:23,968
So it's not bad luck for the...
437
00:17:23,970 --> 00:17:26,543
bride to see the groom
in his wedding suit?
438
00:17:26,568 --> 00:17:27,022
No,
439
00:17:27,023 --> 00:17:28,839
I think it's fine. Nice tie.
440
00:17:28,841 --> 00:17:31,726
Thanks. There was a cornflower
blue one I almost went with.
441
00:17:31,728 --> 00:17:32,977
Oh. Um,
442
00:17:32,979 --> 00:17:34,812
that would've brought out
your eyes.
443
00:17:36,565 --> 00:17:38,265
You brought more than one tie,
right?
444
00:17:38,267 --> 00:17:40,334
I was trying to pack light.
445
00:17:40,336 --> 00:17:42,570
Hey, you know what, maybe the, uh,
groomsmen should go get some food.
446
00:17:42,572 --> 00:17:44,405
I don't want Ted to have
to sit through this movie.
447
00:17:44,407 --> 00:17:46,240
Ah. I appreciate that, Narshall.
448
00:17:46,242 --> 00:17:47,224
Really?
449
00:17:47,226 --> 00:17:50,044
Aw, damn it.
Sorry, I saw it on a plane.
450
00:17:50,046 --> 00:17:51,542
What, so this is gonna be,
like, a thing now?
451
00:17:51,567 --> 00:17:51,997
Yeah,
452
00:17:51,998 --> 00:17:54,949
it's gonna be a thing now,
Narshall. Right?
453
00:17:54,951 --> 00:17:56,550
Narshall.
(chuckles) Dude,
454
00:17:56,552 --> 00:17:58,169
settle down, Swarley.
455
00:17:58,171 --> 00:17:59,503
Yeah.
456
00:17:59,505 --> 00:18:01,872
Yeah, Swarlize Theron,
take it easy.
457
00:18:01,874 --> 00:18:05,459
Man, this was supposed
to be my special day.
458
00:18:07,962 --> 00:18:11,482
Oh. Hey, we survived the storm!
459
00:18:11,484 --> 00:18:15,569
(sniffing) Oh, Narshall,
did you do that?
460
00:18:15,571 --> 00:18:17,571
Nope. Wasn't me.
461
00:18:17,573 --> 00:18:19,824
Well, then who was it?
462
00:18:19,826 --> 00:18:21,859
(growling)
463
00:18:21,861 --> 00:18:23,661
(Jed and Narshall
yelling)
464
00:18:23,663 --> 00:18:25,446
A gorilla! Gorilla!
465
00:18:25,448 --> 00:18:26,614
So that
466
00:18:26,616 --> 00:18:28,148
really happened to Ted?
467
00:18:28,150 --> 00:18:30,334
That is exactly
what went down.
468
00:18:30,336 --> 00:18:32,019
Chapter and verse.
469
00:18:32,021 --> 00:18:33,788
Uh-oh. Out of ice.
470
00:18:33,790 --> 00:18:36,490
I'll get it.
Oh, no. Got it. Sit down.
471
00:18:36,492 --> 00:18:38,158
Plus, the, uh, vending machine's
got a loose coil.
472
00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:39,627
I'm gonna try
to hip check my way
473
00:18:39,629 --> 00:18:41,212
into some free
Tropical Skittles.
474
00:18:42,097 --> 00:18:44,548
(chuckles)
(sighs)
475
00:18:44,550 --> 00:18:47,284
Your sister's not
like most brides, is she?
476
00:18:47,286 --> 00:18:50,504
She's a Scherbatsky.
She's not gonna lose her Timbits
477
00:18:50,506 --> 00:18:52,289
just 'cause she's getting
married.
478
00:18:53,859 --> 00:18:56,394
I guess some people
just never have that
479
00:18:56,396 --> 00:19:00,331
"holy crap,
this is my wedding" moment.
480
00:19:00,333 --> 00:19:02,483
(humming softly)
481
00:19:08,323 --> 00:19:09,640
Mom?
482
00:19:17,833 --> 00:19:20,200
TED:
That's the story.
483
00:19:20,202 --> 00:19:22,386
Right down
to the surprise ending.
484
00:19:22,388 --> 00:19:24,371
Is that really such a surprise?
485
00:19:24,373 --> 00:19:25,890
I mean, come on.
486
00:19:25,892 --> 00:19:27,374
Yeah, of course she showed up.
487
00:19:27,376 --> 00:19:30,544
What mother is gonna miss
her daughter's wedding?
488
00:19:36,234 --> 00:19:38,218
Oh, hey.
489
00:19:38,220 --> 00:19:41,605
No. Come on.
(sniffling)
490
00:19:41,607 --> 00:19:43,858
It's okay. I'm fine.
491
00:19:43,860 --> 00:19:46,210
I'm okay.
492
00:19:46,212 --> 00:19:49,163
(sighs)
493
00:19:49,165 --> 00:19:53,400
Did Barney really wear
a scuba suit into the bar?
494
00:19:53,402 --> 00:19:55,286
I've told you that story
a million times.
495
00:19:55,288 --> 00:19:57,171
Yeah, but where did Barney get
the scuba suit?
496
00:19:57,173 --> 00:20:00,074
(chuckles)
He stole it.
497
00:20:00,076 --> 00:20:00,941
What?
498
00:20:00,943 --> 00:20:02,293
Yeah.
(chuckles)
499
00:20:02,295 --> 00:20:03,677
I can't believe
I forgot that.
500
00:20:03,679 --> 00:20:05,880
He... walked right
into a sporting goods store,
501
00:20:05,882 --> 00:20:08,783
tried on a scuba suit,
and walked right out the door.
502
00:20:08,785 --> 00:20:11,352
Walked all the way home
in it, like, 20 blocks.
503
00:20:11,354 --> 00:20:12,603
(chuckles)
504
00:20:12,605 --> 00:20:13,854
(laughs)
Guy in a scuba suit,
505
00:20:13,856 --> 00:20:16,273
just walking down Broadway.
Ah.
506
00:20:16,275 --> 00:20:17,858
He should be in prison.
507
00:20:17,860 --> 00:20:20,644
Well, yeah, for lots of reasons.
(laughs)
508
00:20:20,646 --> 00:20:22,446
You know, the thief
of the group is Lily.
509
00:20:22,448 --> 00:20:24,315
Yes. Oh, my God. Lily...
No. She stole my heart.
510
00:20:24,317 --> 00:20:25,451
No, n-no, I'm telling you,
Lily, from like, uh...
511
00:20:25,476 --> 00:20:27,476
♪ She might be in Tangier
512
00:20:30,551 --> 00:20:35,304
♪ She left here
last early spring ♪
513
00:20:35,306 --> 00:20:42,311
♪ Is livin' there, I hear ♪
514
00:20:43,346 --> 00:20:47,316
♪ Say for me
that I'm all right ♪
515
00:20:47,318 --> 00:20:51,720
♪ Though things get
kind of slow ♪
516
00:20:51,722 --> 00:20:53,822
♪ She might think
that I've forgotten her ♪
517
00:20:53,824 --> 00:20:55,073
♪ Don't tell her it isn't so. ♪
518
00:20:55,075 --> 00:21:00,075
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
37615
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