Original subtitles

Yudi...

You know...

No!

Yudi, I love you.

Oh!

I love you.

Huh..?

Done?

I said "I love you". What do you have to say?

Cool..?

Baby, wait. Sweety!

Come on...

Please don't complicate the situation...

I'm complicating the situation?!

Where is this relationship heading, Yudi?

Why does it have to head anywhere?

I mean... wherever it is, it is fine!

No?

But...I thought you love me.

I do love... your vibes...

Your... face...

Your... energy...

I'm not getting it now, but a whole lot of things about you!

I do.

Yudi, why do you always run from love?

I know you feel something inside.

I... I just know there's more depth to you.

Actually, that's not true.

What you see is what it is!

There's no depth and stuff to me... maybe.

I don't think so.

Sorry!

Idiot.

We can still be friends...

All men are dogs. It's true.

And, there are two types of dogs.

One, the pet dog,

Which lives and dies, eating home food and riding in the backseat of the car!

Two, the stray dog,

Which has no home or address,

eats what it wants, sleeps where it likes..

The whole city is its home!

But the problem is, we spend half our lives...

... figuring out which type we are!

Yudi...

You know...

I love you.

Umm...

Jerk!

Okay, fine. Me too.

Me too! - "Me too" what?

Me too...

Okay, fine. Just go.

I don't have a problem with "I Love You".

It's with the baggage that comes with it!

99% of stories end at "I Love You".

Do you know why?

It's the beginning of the end!

It destroys everything.

It all goes to crab.

Love looks nice only in movies.

The edit out the extra parts.

And only show comedy, romance, songs.

The hero kisses the heroine.

And what happens next?

Happy Ending?

Hey?

Is that you?

"You're the beauty, I'm an idiot."

"You're the beauty, I'm an idiot."

"You're the weather, I'm the month."

"You're the beauty, I'm an idiot."

"You're the beauty, I'm an idiot."

"You're the beauty, I'm an idiot."

"You're the weather, I'm the month."

"You're the beauty, I'm an idiot."

"Everywhere I look..."

"I see a gem at every corner."

"But never stay with one.."

"You're such a Casanova idiot."

"I am not as bad as you think...if only you knew."

"You're the beauty, I'm an idiot."

"You're the beauty, I'm an idiot."

"You're the weather, I'm the month."

"You're the beauty, I'm an idiot."

"Philandering... deceits... are your traits."

"And the girls know it."

"Don't you know... Don't you know.."

"But still...confusing the heart..."

"Is their nature... I know it too."

"Don't you know... Don't you know.."

"You're the acceptance, I'm denial."

"You're the acceptance, I'm denial."

"You're the beauty, I'm an idiot."

"You're the beauty, I'm an idiot."

"The closeness... the mischief's... your heart cooks up."

I love you. "Can never happen."

"Don't you know... Don't you know.."

"If I say something...to praise you.."

"Your heart...will definitely melt."

"Don't you know... Don't you know.."

"You're the beauty, I'm an idiot."

"You're the beauty, I'm an idiot."

"You're the weather, I'm the month."

"You're the beauty, I'm an idiot."

"Everywhere I look..."

"I see a gem at every corner."

"But you never stay with one.."

"You're such a Casanova idiot."

"I am not as bad as you think... if only you knew."

"You're the beauty, I'm an idiot."

"You're the beauty, I'm an idiot."

"You're the weather, I'm the month."

"You're the beauty, I'm an idiot."

Is there a happy ending in life?

If there's one, then when does it happen?

After love? After marriage? After children?

After divorce?

After death?

Is death a happy ending at all?!

Actually, there no happy endings in life!

There no happy endings in life!

... we'll down two Yeager bombs each..

... then order an entire pitcher and settle down.

Next we go to Edison.

Bucket of Chicken ...and we start the real drinking...

Then you'll vomit your guts out...

... and I'll deliver your body to your home and apologise to your wife...

Correct?

Don't kill my buzz, brah!

I rarely get a chance to get out!

Did you get permission from Gauri?

The application is in process.

Montu, what's taking so long in there?!

Baby, I've a bit of a problem today...

Montu, don't lie. You're on the phone, aren't you?

Come, look for yourself!

What look for yourself?! Come out fast. You are in there since an hour.

Listen... we'll discuss the rest when we meet.

Hold on, Montu, I am getting another call.

Oh!

It's Vishakha!

Why is Vishakha calling you? I thought you two broke up?

Well..

Yudi... cutie... I love you.

Oh!

Cutie...

Oh, you don't have to say anything.

I know you love me too.

I can see deep inside you, baby!

So she doesn't know you've broken up with her?!

She thinks you're still together!

You're gonna die trying to run away from her!

Montu, will you come out or should I come in?!

Okay, don't-kill-my-plan-don't-be-late.

Okay, bye.

Hi, Yudi... Cutie!

Hey, Vishakha.

Where are you?

I'm... at home...

Perfect! I am coming.

Why?!

To meet you!

Vishakha, I have an important meeting today.

This is not a good time for me. Can we meet tomorrow?

Wait for five minutes. - Five minutes?

I am almost there!

Cutiepie.

Hello. - Hi.

I am leaving now, I am very late.

Call me later.

I've reached! - I've left!

But your car's still here. - I am taking my cycle.

What? You're riding a cycle to your meeting?

What kind of a meeting is this?

Hold on for a sec, please.

Yudi...

Hey, kid...

Baby, I need to ask your permission ten times to go out once!

I think you love Yudi more than me.

Baby, please don't start that again.

Why don't you go out with your friends too?

I don't have any friends.

Then... that's not my fault, is it?

No. You go... party hard...

I'll manage all the chores around the house!

What's left to do? - Did you pay the mortgage?

Yes. - Cable bill? Mobile bill?

Done. And done!

Car servicing? - Yes.

I knew it, otherwise I would've never even thought of going out!

And the shelf? - Huh?

Can I do it tomorrow? Please.

Promise!

Baby, that's done too. It's all done!

Hold on.

Hello. - Hi Montu.

Yes, Yudi. - Are you coming or not?

No, I can't come. Sorry.

You know...I am really busy.

No problem, Montu.

No, don't force me please. It's no use.

No worries! Just chill. Bye.

You go have fun! Alone! Okay?

Without me. Bye.

Okay. Bye!

Poor guy was in tears! - Cut the drama! And go.

Huh?

No, no. What will you do alone at home? - Just go.

No, I'll fix this and then.. - I said, go!

Okay-thanks-I-love-you-bye!

See this beer mug. This is my wife.

And all these drinks... are the rest of the girls in the world!

And this? - Peanuts?

Pea?! - Nuts! Peanuts!

Oh Peanuts!

I left all these girls... and married this beer mug!

Do you realize how big a sacrifice this is?!

How huge a commitment?! - Thanks.

But see, Montu. These are all empty!

And your wife's so full!

Hey...that's my wife you're talking about!

She's like my sister.

You know, I'm really jealous of you. - Why?

6 years ago you wrote one book.

And thanks to that, you're picking up chicks to this day!

5 1/2, okay?

And what do you think, I get girls because of a book?!

Of course. You're no stud! - Whatever, dude.

Tell me something, why aren't you writing your next book?

Why should I put the effort?

What does one want in life?

Fame, money, girls! I have everything.

What's the point of forcing myself to work?

Wow!

You're so clear about your life!

We've wasted enough time already.

I have to party hard, and drink harder!

Montu, don't be hectic dude.

Come on, Montu!

Montu, that's enough.

Let's go, please.

We still got time, bro. Keep dancing, keep moving.

It's closing time. The lights are on.

Just open and close your eyes repeatedly...

You'll feel like you're in a disco.

Come on, get up.

Gentlemen, if you can exit towards the rear. Bar's closed.

Absolutely!

Come on, Montu. Let's go.

Montu, stop dancing around him...

Sir, let's go.

Come on. Come on.

Come on. Okay. Okay.

Gross, Montu.

Hey Yudi, I can see a French fry here. Get some ketchup!

Buzz off, Montu!

Yudi... Yudi!

Hey! That's my car!

Hey!

What are you doing? - Hey, is this your car?

Yes.

Look, you haven't made any instalment payments..

..in the past 6 months.

And we're seizing your car.

What? You can't do that. - You got questions, call this number.

Looks like it's been re-possessed by...Rack Publishing!

For failure to honour your contract.

Sorry, man.

Hey, watch the...

For our newest best-selling author.

Aanchal Reddy.

Thank you. - Congratulations.

Nice to meet you.

Sir... Sir, you cannot go in there.

Excuse me for a second.

I am really sorry, Yudi. - Bastard!

It's been 2 years since you took an advance..

..from the publishers.

And you haven't written a word.

Thank God they took your car, not your house!

I'll return their goddamn money!

What's wrong? No money in the bank?

Fine, let's break some funds.

No funds either?

Nothing?

Look, you WERE a successful author.

But your last book released 6 years ago.

5 ½. - Correct, 5 ½!

Royalties stopped 1 ½ years ago.

Your books are no longer in stores.

Balls! It's available at the bookstore close to my house.

Why would they keep it if it doesn't sell?

I had them kept there..

... just to make you happy. - What?

Oh wow!

Take care.

Thank you. It was nice meeting you all.

Hi!

Who is she? - Your doom!

Rack Publishing signed her after cancelling your contract. - What?

They've given her a 3-book deal. - What?

And they're also paying her double. - What?

Why are you on repeat-mode?

But how? Why?

She's smart. Writes well.

Maybe... even better than you.

And she doesn't have your attitude.

Plus, she writes romantic novels, which always sells.

She got the contract because of you.

You made her.

I hope you're happy... with your fame, money and booze!

Girls! - What?

Fame, money and girls!

Not booze, I am not Devdas!

What now?

Read this.

You might learn something.

Crazy Hearts!

Crazy Farts!

What?

Really? - Yeah!

When? How? - What do you mean, how?

Are you sure? - Are you serious?!

I was travelling all of February.

Then how... is it possible?

Didn't you come down one Thursday for that meeting?

But we don't do it on weekdays. - We did it that day.

Correct... shit

I mean... so sweet! Baby, come here.

Baby?

Baby, what happened?

Baby, what happened?

Baby, I am actually really happy!

It's wonderful news. Superb news.

Yay! I am going to be a father!

Yay!

Life was such a party.

What happened all of a sudden?!

Downfall is always sudden!

Are you going to cry? - What? No.

Good.

But we need money. We need to do something.

Not us, you...!

Thanks.

Hey Yogi, sit with me.

Talk to me.

About what?

About life.

I'm busy.

Don't do it.

What? - Don't call Divya.

Why?

Look... men go crazy between 12 and 4 am.

They over-commit, get sentimental.

Cry and weep.

And settle for anyone.

Basically, they start thinking from their pants.

Then comes morning, and they come to their senses.

Next comes remorse.

That they are in more trouble now than when they started!

But it's Divya! - She's your ex, and married.

She has three kids.

Actually, they are triplets. So, counts as one.

See, Yudi.

You will do what you want to do.

My advice...

...is don't do.

Hello. - Hi.

Yudi? - Are you sleeping?

It's 2 am. - Can you open the door, please?

What?

You're kidding me.

What are you doing here in the middle of the night?

I'm in a mess.

I'm broke.

Oh!

You need money?

No...I just wanted to talk to someone.

Where's that girlfriend of yours?

It's a bit complicated.

I mean, I've broken up with her. But I don't think she's understood.

Did you tell her clearly or is it all just in your head?

I've given her few hints.

Some things never change.

If I tell her directly, it will break her heart.

What a thoughtful jerk.

You know what your problem is?

You love the fun that comes with romance..

..but not the responsibility that comes with commitment.

What's so wrong with that?

I mean all relationships are fun and exciting in the beginning.

Later, the mystery's dead once you know each other.

And all the excitement and romance disappear.

We covet commitment so much that we ruin what we have.

And what remains?

Fights, battles, family, her mother's birthday..

..his uncle's anniversary, baby showers..

Then you have three kids. And that's the end of life!

Shut up, Yudi. - Papa, I need to go potty.

Mummy.. - It's called life!

Whatever, dude.

Couldn't you wait for me a little longer?

Why are we discussing this now?

I did wait, you know. A really long time.

Hey, remember..

..our Vegas trip? - Yeah!

Mad trip, right? - Let's just wipe that off memory.

And our matching tattoos.

You know, mine's faded a bit. - No, no, it's okay.

Don't take off your pants. It's okay.

And yours? Is it fading too?

No! Mine's great.

You still have it, right?

Yeah!

You didn't get it removed, did you?

You got it removed! Why?

What do you mean, why?

If Jason saw it, what would he think?

Yudi! - You could have made up something!

He can't read Hindi anyway. Let me see what you did.

No. - Show me. - Yudi, just stop it. - Show me.

What is wrong with you?

What the hell is going on?

Hi, honey!

Who wears pink shorts, dude?

If you break my marriage, I will kill you. - Okay, okay!

Here we go!

Thanks.

But you really didn't have to do this.

I could've taken a taxi. - Why taxi?

I am your personal, sexy, chauffeur.

Okay.

I'll be awhile. You go ahead.

It's okay, I've cancelled all my appointments.

Shall I wait for you at the coffeeshop?

No, no, please don't wait for me. Gary will drop me home.

Baby. I can wait for you all my life.

Isn't that a bit too long?

Yudi, forever and ever!

So sweet!

Love you.

I know you love me too.

Hi, Yudi. How are you?

How is life treating you?

Cut the bullshit, Gary.

Why did you call me here?

Look, maybe this isn't the best..

But this is all you have now.

And I think you should do it.

You got me some shady deal again?

Do you want the car back or not?

I liked your book.

What was the name again? - Operation Payback.

Yes. Operation Playback.

Payback. - Yeah, right.

The story's good, tight.

The second half is a bit slow.

You read my book? - He did.

And explained it to me in two lines.

Good. - Very good.

You see,

I am a single-screen superstar.

And now, I want to take over the multiplexes.

I want to make a film..

..that has everything.

Romance. Comedy.

I want a romedy!

Two birds with one stone.

What?

Classes and masses.

Get them both. - Great idea!

Writers are such copycats nowadays.

They make a dozen films with the same successful idea.

Someone's remaking this hit South Indian film.

Now everyone's working on the same idea.

That's the business. - But, Sir,

Why don't you sit here instead of me? - Sir,

No, no, I'll go get a message.

You sit here. - Sorry, Sir. Go on.

Last night I saw this Hollywood film.

And it just clicked.

I knew then this is my gold standard.

I took the next flight here.

Now, I'm looking for a mixed writer..

..who can write a Bollywood film, Hollywood-style.

Mixed writer? Great idea.

Money is not a problem.

I want to make a film that has..

Comedy, flirting and steaminess..

Kickass!

Kickass? - Kickass!

Kickass!

Oh Kickass!

First half, Meet Parents.

Second half, Meet Fockers.

Mix and match. We have a silver jubilee.

Look, Armaan,

Ji..

Armaan-ji.

These are famous films.

We can't just copy, I mean..

We'd get caught.

So what good is he for?

Get creative, man.

So what if we're caught? It's your neck on the line.

But I'll get you out. - We will.

Can I tell you something, Armaan?

You spent a fortune coming here, and you're with the best writer.

Let's get him to write something fresh.

Where are you from originally?

I am from San Francisco.

No wonder.

Listen, do whatever, but..

I want a young love story. - Consider it done.

He'll write a great story and make you a ladies' heartthrob.

In fact, I say you'll be the heartthrob of the gents as well.

Control, your emotions.

And, oh yeah, I spoke to Jennifer, for an item song.

Jennifer? - Our Jenny from the block?

JLo. JLo.

Sorry, my bad. JLo.

Jennifer.

Just make sure the film is a worldwide blockbuster.

Done, Sir. I guarantee you.

Kickass.

Kickass. - Kickass.

Sunglasses?

Here you go, Sir.

Superstar. Heroine.

JLo.

Romantic comedy.

Classes. Masses.

Bollywood.

Multiplex.

Single screen.

Kickass.

I am so screwed!

Where do I get this kickass from?

What am I there for?

What do you know about romcoms?

Romantic comedy? Very easy.

First, boy meets girl.

They cross paths, just like that.

They're polar opposites but complete each other.

Then, conversations.

Hello? But why? Because you..

And then Love! Love! Love! Love!

But, all boys are doggie.

And all girls are not doggie.

Something goes wrong.

Then comes "I've changed. I'm completely sorry. I love you".

In the end, everything's happy!

But yes, the boy and girl should be handsome.

Costumes by Manish (Malhotra), Abu Jani...

Music by Pritam.

And if you go abroad to shoot them, great.

That's how you write a romantic comedy!

"And this is the secret only true lovers share."

"The joy they find in each other, and the dreams they dare to dream.."

"..is by virtue of the power of love that engulfs them."

"Consumes them. And transcends all bounds."

"So her thoughts were exactly this."

"Love me..and free my soul."

"I love you..and I adore you."

"And I do this.. because I do not know.."

"..any other way of loving."

"And I am just thankful."

$1 What the..!

Thank you.

Beautiful writing. Beautiful!

That last chapter.. tears just welled up.

I was really choking.

Thank you. Thank you so much.

I'm the one who wrote it.

But every time I read it, it still makes me emotional.

It's my favorite chapter.

Mine too.

You've read my book? - No.

But I will now.

For sure. - I hope you like it.

Incidentally, what kind of books do you like?

I like all kinds of books.

Put a telephone directory in front of me, I'll even read that!

Have you read this book? I hear it's really good.

That's a really old book. It's still on the shelves?

Well, it's a classic.

Classic? Why, there's no depth in it.

He wrote something. And..

..he just got lucky.

You just said you like all kinds of books.

What's so wrong with this one?

It's just a one-book wonder.

He wrote something for the heck of it and it became a hit. By fluke.

My agent said he's totally ruined.

Poor guy's on the streets now.

Should I sign you a copy?

Your name? - Yu..

Yogi.

Yogi. See you.

Hang on a second.

Half of them fell asleep listening.

Actually, I almost fell asleep reading!

You know, I don't get it.

Why do people show up at readings?

Clearly, they have nothing better to do.

If they love books, why can't they just buy the book and read it at home?

Omigod! I forgot to tell you.

After the reading, an Indian came up to me..

..and said, "Beautiful writing.. my eyes welled up..

"..I was choking.. Really choking."

What a pansy!

I know right?

I'm actually writing all this romantic bull..

Which people are buying..

And getting sentimental, can you believe it?

I know!

If anyone hears me like this..

..That's it. I'll be banned.

Hello. - She's a fraud!

That girl is a fraud. And she had the gall to criticize my book!

Yudi, I am pregnant.

She's selling rubbish and she knows it. Her readers are all a big joke for her!

Man, I am the joke here.

I'm going to read her book.. Throw it on her face and say..

"This is nonsense."

I am having an oops baby. - What?

Oops..baby.

Oops!

Congratulations?

Montu?

This is our Wall of Fame.

All bestselling authors.

And here you are. Got it put up just yesterday.

How is it?

Cool, right? - Yeah!

What a rogue!

Oh..

Oh!

We meet again.

I read your book. - I see.

Mind-blowing!

The way you've explained love..

And that line, "To gain something, you have to lose something."

What an original line!

Every page had me emotional.

I sat with a box of tissues..

I know who you are. - Really?

I saw your photo upstairs.

Gary told me all about you.

Oh!

Oh?

I hope he said good things.

He said to me, "You could be very successful..

"Just never Yudi your life."

That Idiot!

Hold on. Did he say this or are you saying it?

What is your problem?

Why are you following me?

I am writing a romantic comedy.

And I thought I'd read your book.

And guess what I found out..

You are a fraud! - What? What do you mean?

"If anyone hears me like this.."

"..I'll be banned." - Stop it.

"I such am a big writer now. All of America has read my book."

"My agent says I am No. 1."

"What I didn't know is that agent..

..gives this spiel to all his clients.

By the way, you write well.

But I have to tell you one thing.

Your book readings are so boring..

..that people were falling asleep.

I'm sure some even died. - It's okay.

My books sell.

Yes, but the question is entertainment.

How do we make your readings more entertaining?

You don't need to do anything.

I'll manage.

How about some advice from a senior, super successful writer..

..to a budding writer? - No, thank you.

Shh! Just listen.

People aren't there for your reading skills, you know?

They're there to meet the writer - see if his personality is exciting..

..all his experiences in life.

What, should I read out my biodata? - No, but be charming.

Chat with your audience, crack some jokes.

They'll read your book at home.

So for one hour, spend 15 minutes reading.

Nonsense your way through the remaining 45.

That's how you make fans.

One second, who are you?

Best-selling writer, friend, philosopher, stud! Nice to meet you.

Pleasure is all yours.

Yudi-pudie pie! - Aaarrghh!

What are you doing here? - Giving you a lift.

But...why..

How did you know I'm here?

So I downloaded this app on both our phones.

It tells me where you are. Always.

It's called No Space!

Are you tracking me? - I love you.

Come on, let's go. - Where?

Where?

Happy birthday to..

Oh no!

Is it your Dad? Mom?

You had an appointment today. - What appointment?

Dentist? - Oh no, no, I'm fine.

Don't be a baby. Come on.

Please! I don't want to go, Vishakha.

Listen-

You've done a lot for my teeth.

But this time, I'm okay. Really!

I have to say, this Aanchal girl? I dig her.

She's just right for you.

Whatever floats your boat, man.

Wow! What a fluke. - Your birth was a fluke, man.

And Vishakha? - Oh, yeah.

I've got to break up with her. Again.

This time, I'll do it right.

Here I am, frikking about to be a Dad..

..there you are, playing breakup-patchup.

Nonsense!

You know what she did?

She's put a tracker in my phone. - What?!

She knows we're at the golf link right now. - Really?

That is some psycho nonsense!

Why're you not breaking up with her cleanly?

It's not that difficult. - It is difficult.

That's why half the world's like this.

Nonsense man! Not again!

I'm telling you these clubs are screwed.

Yes, Montu. It's all the club's fault.

Yudi cutie pie!

Hey!

I ordered your favorite cheesecake. - Ooh! Cheesecake.

Caramel.

So.

So.

Vishakha. I've been thinking for a while-

Taste this.

How is it? - Very nice.

Yummy, right? - So I've been thinking for a while..

..we've known each other six months. - 17!

What? - We met at Aarti and Adam's wedding.

Oh! You're calculating from then? - Of course! Because-

Two weeks later, at Nancy's party, you kissed me.

Really? - Yeah.

I don't think so. - Yeah.

I must've kissed you on your cheeks. - No, no, no, it was a proper kiss.

Let me show you. - No!

Okay! I'm sorry, just get carried away.

Anyway, what I meant to say is..

The two of us.. The way we..

You like travelling. - Yes.

I hate travelling. - Oh!

You like cheesecake, and.. you think I love cheesecake..

But I hate it. - Shall I order chocolate then?

It doesn't matter what cake it is.

What I mean is we're different.

You mean..we're opposites? - Yes, we're opposites.

People say opposites attract!

That happens with magnets, not with humans.

With humans, opposites attack.

Like India-Pakistan. - But India-Pakistan are the same.

They both want Kashmir.

Yeah, you know, opposites do attract. Like that song.

We come together 'coz opposites attract. Who'd have thought, aah!

I love the 80's.

Okay.

Okay. Let me start over.

We met 17 months ago, and I kissed you at Nancy's home.

Not cheek-to-cheek, but lip-to-lip.

We're opposites, and people think opposites attract.

You want me so much there's not one tooth in my mouth you haven't left alone.

Still, I think we both-

What? Why're you giving me your phone?

Have I shown you this before?

You know I'm trying to explain something to you. - Take a look, baby.

Who's the naked ass?

The naked ass is me?!

How? When? - You're such a cutie!

How did you do this? - You looked so cute that day..

I'm really sorry, I couldn't help myself.

Okay Vishakha, you have to delete that. - No.

If it leaks somehow, I'll be embarrassed as hell.

Aww.. you're shy. - No!

But if this comes out, I'll be a joke.

I'm a celebrity. - Chill, baby.

I'm hardly going to put it up on Facebook.

Vishakha, please. Come on.

Alright. Alright. We'll delete it.

What if my baby's video goes viral?

Please delete it.

I'll watch it at home. I have a copy on my laptop.

You okay, baby?

You (gibberish) athome? - Huh?

You have it at home?

Yes. I got everything backed up.

If you wanted to prance in the shower,

..you could've at least locked the door from inside.

Montu, you're stuck on the wrong detail.

I mean, when I shower, I always lock the door from inside.

And from the outside, when Gauri's in the shower.

Montu! Focus. Get me out of this mess.

Walk with me.

You deleted the video on her phone.

She has a copy of it on her laptop.

And the laptop's at her home. Right.

So, here's the plan.

We'll sneak into her house..

..and delete that file from her laptop.

She's leaving! She's leaving!

Where did you call her? - Arclight Theatre.

So, we have an hour.

Step 1. Successful.

If we get caught, we'll be thrown in jail.

That may be your hangout spot, it's not mine.

Every newspaper will carry my photos

..on the front page

And you know how..

..nasty the media can be to us celebrities if we make a mistake.

Hey, Yudi. Can I tell you something?

You're not as famous as you think you are.

I mean, this whole office? No one's read your book.

Hey, Rachael! Hi. Have you read Operation Payback?

No.

Hey, Rico. Did you read Operation Payback?

Okay, okay, okay, let's go.

Did you delete that tracker app on your phone? - Yes!

Step 2. Find the key.

Step 3. Open the door.

Okay Montu, I just realized. This is a very bad idea.

Shut it, you coward. I told you. Trust me.

The whole world will talk about our robbery story forever.

Maybe this is the excitement I need in my life.

Maybe even spice up my marriage.

Yudi, I need this.

Help me, please.

I thought I asked you for help.

Come on!

I've never been inside a single woman's place before.

Because you got married when you were a kid.

So many pillows?!

Why do girls need so many pillows?

Montu, don't touch anything!

Girls have a strong sixth sense about these things.

No! It's asking for a password.

What's her favorite film? - Love, Actually.

You're her boyfriend, think of another option.

I Love Yudi! - You egomaniac!

Aah..!

Yudi, look what I found! Pink Panther.

What are you doing? She's my girlfriend.

Whose girlfriend? You just broke up with her.

Until we don't breakup-breakup, she's my girlfriend..

.. and your sister-in-law.

Do I ever have wrong intentions about Gauri?

As if I get wrong intentions about Gauri!

Why can't Gauri wear something like this?

I'm sick of those white and grey vests!

Montu!

She forgot the tickets.

Let me see. Please...

Let me see. Please...

Let's go! This was a terrible plan. - Stop.

We'll do what we came here to do.

Are you crazy? What are you doing?

Operation Payback.

Come on. Come on.

Nonsense! It's locked!

We'll have to jump again.

Watch carefully and repeat. - No chance.

You jump and open the door for me.

I don't want the father of my kid to be a cripple.

Cowardass!

Hi, Aanchal? - Yudi.

What? Who's this?

Armaan..Ji. Superstar?

Don't you recognize the voice?

Oh...hi, Mr Armaanji.

Armaanji. What's up? - What what's up?

You called. You tell me what's up.

No, nothing. Nothing.

I just called to tell you your script's coming along very well.

Totally kickass!

Good, good! The songs are superhit already. - Songs?

You can't make a romedy without songs.

Make sure the song situations are believable.

No forced songs, understood? - Yes, of course.

There are two kinds of superhit songs.

Either you shake it up at the disco..or in bed!

Wow! This knowledge has to comes from experience.

And hey, add a few kissing scenes as well.

The young man should love it. - The milkman?

Yes, Sir. I can see why that's important.

The youth, not the milkman. -Oh! Youth!

I am making a movie, I'm not making tea. - Yes sir. Absolutely.

Listen, I am at the gym right now.

Tightening up my body. Call me later.

Listen, we've recorded a song for our film.

It's a funky song.

I am throwing a party on Saturday. Do come.

Yes, ofcourse.

This is the basic price list.

Sir, it's $10,000 for six-pack abs.

$10,000 for a new nose.

And $10,000 for the face.

Tell him to do it for $15,000.

When I take off my shirt in the movie..

..the whole industry will line up here.

He's just struck gold with me. - Sir.

Hello. - Hey, Aanchal.

Hey, Aanchal! - Who is this?

This is Yudi. - Yudi who?

Yudi!

Yudi? We met the other day. I write books.

Well...book. - Right. Right. Right.

Senior writer, friend, philosopher, guide. - Stud.

Of course. - Gary gave me your number.

Just to check up on you. - Gary?

Yeah.

Hi. Did you give Yudi my number? - Yudi?

No.

That was so thoughtful of him. And so nice of you.

I was wondering if you're getting bored in LA..

Who has the time to get bored,

with all the meetings and readings? - Yes.

That's true.

What do you do at night? - What?

I meant, in the evenings, after your meetings.

If you want to see LA, maybe I can show you around.

I've been seeing only LA all these days?

How about we do something this weekend?

You want to take me out on a date? - No, no.

What I mean is.. coffee or something?

Just like that.. Over the weekend.

Just like that.

I'm sorry, I have an important meeting on Saturday.

Well, okay.

If something gets cancelled, call me.

Yeah, of course. Take care. Bye.

Loser!

Don't you have anything to do? - You don't either.

If you can't scoop butter with your finger..

..overturn the can. - Means?

Gary.

No, sorry!

I can't cancel Aanchal's Meeting on Saturday.

Oh really, then you won't get your script either. - What?

Aanchal's really busy, she's working hard.

Don't turn her into a Yudi.

How dare you turn me into a saying?

Don't Yudi your life.. That's a Yudi move?

Does your Mom know about your happy ending massages..

..with that Roberto?

Why you trying to screw me over?

Stop effing with me!

Then cancel the meeting. - No, Yudi. I wish I could.

But I can't!

Cancelled it.

Actually, you know what? For you, done! - Good.

But you'll have to hand over my script real soon.

I'll think about it.

It's Aanchal.

Hello? Who's this? - Aanchal.

Aanchal who?

Whom you wanted to take out on a date 5 minutes ago?

Oh, hey! Hi.

Sorry, I answered my phone without looking.

So.. - Right. Okay.

Anyway, Gary just told me my Saturday's meeting's been cancelled.

So.. - So?

So if you're busy it's okay, I'll call you later, bye!

No, no, wait, wait, wait!

Saturday, 9 pm?

Okay. - Great! Bye.

Idiot. - It happens!

Are you sure, it's okay? - It will be fun, don't worry.

Hop so?

"My mind's going crazy.."

"Get some dope, get high."

"I'm feel a feel.. from head to toe."

"Those who want to dance, can dance.."

"Those who don't, just..."

"Don't sit idle...in the club."

"Scream and shout even when the beat stops."

Hi Arman sir. - Hi.

Hello. - She is your girlfriend.

My friend Achal.

"Scream and shout even when the beat stops."

"Take your stance."

"Ready to dance."

"Here comes the song's hook.."

"Hook... Hook... Hook... Hook..."

"Dance your heart out!"

"Sway and dance."

"Sway to the beat."

"Sway and dance."

"Dance your heart out!"

"Sway and dance."

"Sway to the beat."

"Sway and dance."

"Dance your heart out!"

"You're crazy, so am I."

"Or are we okay, and the world's crazy."

"I am not in my senses, and so are you."

"Why does everything seem like a blur?"

"Let's just push...the world aside."

"No one cares...whose fault it is."

"Finally...I am in the mood."

"The feeling inside me says, carry on dude."

"I'm feeling a sensation...from head to toe."

"Those who want to dance, just dance.."

"Those who don't, just..."

"Don't sit idle...in the club."

"Scream and shout even when the beat stops."

"Take your stance."

"Ready to dance."

"Here comes the song's hook.."

"Hook... Hook... Hook... Hook..."

"Dance your heart out!"

"Sway and dance."

"Sway to the beat."

"Sway and dance."

"Dance your heart out!"

"Sway and dance."

"Sway to the beat."

"Sway and dance."

"Dance your heart out!"

"Dance your heart out!"

Okay bye, sir.

Let's go.

"Dance your heart out!"

Nonsense!

Yudi? Vishakha.

Hi, Vishakha. - How dare you?

Oh, so you know. - So it is true!

How could you do this to me?

Vishakha, I..

This was all Montu's idea. - Don't bring me into it.

What? - Yes. About sneaking into your house.

Oh my God. - Your computer? He smashed it.

Oh my God! So it was you the other day?

You didn't know?

So what were you mad about?

No wonder I smelt you all over the house!

And I thought I was missing you.

I'm so stupid!

You know what, I deserve better than this.

I am sorry, Vishakha, I..

Actually, you know what?

You're absolutely right. You do deserve better.

You should spend your life with a better man.

I'm not good enough for you.

Are you trying to get rid of me? - What?

No! Not at all. - For that girl?

What? Which girl? - I know all about you and that.. 'writer'.

Oh! - Oh?

Is that all you have to say for yourself?

You're cheating on me, Yudi. You broke my heart.

No, Vishakha, there's nothing between us. - Don't lie to me!

You're having an affair with that pseudo, intellectual..

..matching-matching, rice-plate Reddy, aren't you?

No.. We're just friends.

Nothing's happened - no kiss-wiss, sex-wex..

And anyway.. we're not together anymore.

You and I are not together-together anymore, right?

Are we?

Gimme five! - It's not confirmed yet.

It is confirmed. That's all the confirmation you need.

Beyond this is your judgment.

Come on, gimme five!

I feel bad for her. - Gimme five!

On this side!

Gimme ten.. you're free again.. - You two are celebrating?!

You both should be ashamed.

Move! Out of my way!

Be ashamed. Now your chapter is over.

My Baby.

So I thought, maybe I could become a writer too.

Wow!

I don't have a cool back story like you.

It's just.. As a kid, I used to watch Dad

He never had time for anyone.

Not even himself.

He was successful, but,

You know,

..I wanted to taste life, you know what I mean?

I tried starting my own rock band.

But that was hard work too.

That's when I realized I should be a writer.

How's your life of leisure working out for you these days?

I'm broke! I have to work now. No choice.

Trouble is, I can't write. - You've forgotten how to work?

It's writer's block! - More like a mental block, don't you think?

Can I ask you something?

How do you write these love stories?

You don't even believe in them. - How do you know?

Maybe deep inside, I'm romantic?!

So Yudi's life is just like a romantic comedy now.

Soo sweet!

Correct. In this big wide world, we bumped into each other!

You didn't bump into her, you stalked her!

We're a nice combination.

She's hot. I'm cool.

She's romantic on the inside, I'm romantic on the outside.

She's young, I'm young.

Shut up, I'm not old.

Okay, young at heart!

Anyway, everything's perfect. - Actually..

This is going too smooth.

Something's going to give somewhere. - Shut up!

What? - She could be engaged. Married.

Pregnant.

And if it's a serious film, she could be terminally ill. - What?!

That doesn't always happen.

It does. Almost all the time.

It's a requirement.

Hey, what's up? - Nothing!

Just thought I'd say hi. - Okay? Hi, Yudi.

Are you married?

What?

No. I knew it.

Did you call me to ask that? - No. I just called.

And, you aren't engaged, are you?

Have you seen a ring on my finger? - No.

You could've hidden it also, like Montu. - Who's Montu?

What are you blabbering about?

You don't have a boyfriend, do you? - No, Yudi. I don't have any boyfriend.

I knew it!

Any critical..

Uh, you're healthy overall, right? - What the!

Good, good. Done.

Any more questions?

What?

Okay call you later bye!

Well? - You didn't ask all the questions.

Will you accept her if she's carrying someone else's sin

..in her stomach?

Shut up! - Just asking.

So,

..situation normal. - Impossible.

Every story has something happening right about at this point.

When? - Now.

Now? - Almost.

Now?

What happened to you?

This.. was.. a small accident.

Wasn't an accident. It's an allergy.

All this stuff around my face? These foreigners overdo things.

Give me a few days. I'll be fine.

What do you got? Write something?

No, I'll.. finish it soon.

I have a new idea.

What's this? - It's all his genius.

Thing about me is,

..I'm a method actor.

I've done my homework.

I've marked the best scenes in these films.

Use the ones you think are right for the script.

This way, no one will ever be able to tell..

..which film we copied it from.

You mean you watched all these films..

..and marked every scene you liked? - He saw them.

I understood them.

So. Knock yourself out inserting these scenes.

Armaanji, I think we should try something different.

What is different?

No matter how different you try to be..

..people watch what they like.

Okay, just give me one week.

I promise you, your mind will be blown.

He doesn't get it.

He doesn't get it.

Look here.

This look? There's 10 pages of dialogue coming.

Can you hear them?

Hold it!

Wide shot!

Jimmy, jimmy, jimmy, jimmy, jimmy, close!

Wide again! Cut to song.

That's how you write scripts.

Sir? - Not yet.

There was a time when..

..whatever I said was the script.

If I didn't? Pause.

If I was having an affair with the heroine?

Pregnant pause!

Screw it. Do your thing.

I don't like interfering anyway.

I'm just sharing these ideas so..

..you don't write a boring script. - No, no.

It is a romcom.

Romedy.

But it should be a bit hard hitting.

Intense.

Life is hard hitting and intense too.

Do all of that on your own time.

Sir, I just don't want the script to be cheesy.

Cheesy?

Understand this truth.

In this world, every boy is naïve..

..every girl is insecure, and we're all cheesy in real life.

People go to the theatres..

..with their family and a tub of popcorn. Don't waste their money.

Everything should be spectacular. And happy.

Let the hero and heroine run into each others arms.

Let there be slow-motions.

Let there be sunset. If it rains, let it.

If it songs play, let them.

Why, if they want to kiss, let them!

These days, the Censors aren't an issue.

People should be happy.

Don't get stuck in your creativity.

Don't give life lessons for 300 rupees.

There's no more, Sir.

Let's write quietly for one hour.

You write yours, I'll write mine.

I don't have anything like this.

Can I borrow your dolly?

Absolutely not.

That's my lucky charm. Don't touch it.

Fine.

Can you type a little slower? You're giving me a complex.

Focus.

I can't do this.

Try! It hasn't even been 5 minutes.

I need inspiration.

Isn't this enough?

I have an idea.

What is it?

You're off to 'Frisco tomorrow, right? - Yeah?

Let's drive there. - Why?

Because you haven't seen the Pacific Coast Highway.

And maybe I'll find my inspiration driving.

But my flight and hotel have been booked. - So?

Get them cancelled.

Think about it.

The coast on one side.

Open skies on the other.

And me, in the middle of it all!

No. I have a reading day after morning.

I'm not taking any risk.

Baby, I am risk-free. I come with a guarantee.

Are you sure this is a good idea? - Absolutely.

We'll head out in the morning, reach by sundown,

..and you can make it for your reading the next morning.

Come on.

Fine. - Done.

But we'll start early. - Absolutely.

Early morning.

Finally!

You call this early morning?

It's not morning yet.

You've calling me like a psycho from 6 am!

You said we'd leave early morning.

Early is 11 or 12, after a nice long breakfast.

What's with all this luggage?

Planning to settle down there?

What? This is just basic stuff.

You should've brought some porters along.

Don't be such a big baby.

Really?

Your Highness! - Thank you.

Thank you.

Wow!

This is so beautiful!

If this doesn't inspire you..

..you should just quit writing.

You're welcome.

And you wanted to fly alone.

All we need is some background music to go with this scene.

Sure.

Oh man.

What?

No, this is not nice.

No way..

"It's not the flu or fever.."

"He's just.."

"Down with love."

"Down with love."

"The black eyes."

"The fair cheeks."

"The sultry gaze."

"The enticing gait."

"Why did you break my heart."

"Why did we fall in love."

"Why did you go away.."

"Away...Away.."

"Come.."

"Shower me with your love.."

Give it to me! - Stop it Yudi.

"What's behind the veil."

"Behind the veil.."

"What's behind the veil."

"Behind the veil.."

"My heart's behind my veil.."

"Every time I see a girl, my crazy heart goes.."

"Ole...Ole...Ole.."

"I sway, dance and sing the song of love."

"Ole...Ole...Ole.."

Aah! Nonsense!

Nonsense!

You Idiot.

Are you okay? - What happened?

I feel asleep. - You fell asleep at the wheel?

I told you, please don't sleep. - So it's my fault?

Of course.

First, you wake me up at 6 like some school teacher.

And then happily dozed off.

Nonsense! It's not starting.

Engine must be flooded.

What now?

I'll call AAA. They'll get us out of here quickly.

Oh God, we'll be very late. - No, we won't.

I'll get you there by tonight, I promise.

Y!

Y!

No, I'm not asking why.

I am saying Y. My name is Yudi.

Y for Yahoo.

U for Underwear.

U for Unicorn.

What did they say?

It'll take at least 4 hours.

4 hours?

I can't believe I made such a huge mistake.

This was such a bad idea.

As long as you had the wind on your face, everything was fine.

At the first sign of trouble, it became a bad idea?

I cancelled my nice, comfortable flight!

If the pilot had fallen asleep..

..you wouldn't even get a chance to argue like this!

Yudi, you do realize we could've died! - Don't be so dramatic.

Whoa, I'm being dramatic now! - Of course!

We should get a lift.

I can't believe this!

No one wants to help!

Wait.

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

Take off your shirt.

What?!

Your face can't be seen in the distance.

You'll need to show your body. - No way.

Your wish.

Come on! Somebody?

Arch your back!

Stomach in, chest out!

Chest out! - It is out, Yudi.

You need a sexy pose.

Sexier!

That's good, That's nice.

Nice.

And turn around slowly.

Slowly, slowly!

Shut up, Yudi.

Okay, it's not working.

Tell you what, take the top off.

What the hell are you doing there?

Get up. I think you'll do better than me.

Take it off. Why are you covering? - Are you mad?

Take it off, Yudi. Show your chest.

Stick it out a little bit. - Yeah!

Nice.

Hey! You need a ride?

No, no. Please go. It's okay.

Thank you.

Idiot!

He called you an idiot!

Finally!

You from India?

Yeah.

Girlfriend? - No! We're just friends.

Just friend!

Tell him, Yudi.

I have 'just friend'. - Yeah?

Shut up, Yudi.

How much longer?

2 minutes!

15 minutes.

20-25 minutes!

Thanks.

So sweet.. - The perfect Facebook moment.

Yay, I'm finally married!

Hubby and wifey forever! I love you!

Heart, heart, heart.

At least 75 Comments and 100 Likes.

"What a lovely couple you guys make."

"You guys are perfect for each other."

What do you think? 3 years? - Nah. 1 year tops.

First 3 months will be ruled by hormones.

Next 3 by realization...

..and the following 3 by frustration.

By the first anniversary, they'll be at war.

"Give me my space!" "I don't like your mother!"

"What's wrong with my mother?"

"I hate you. I don't want to talk to you."

"Eff you!" "Eff you!"

Hey, that groom looks..

..just like the hero from one of your books.

If I ever run into the hero of my book..

..I'll knock him out.

I don't get it. Every girl talks about equality and independence.

And yet all of them want..

..their prince charming to swoop in and rescue them.

Complete them.

Change their life.

Doesn't make sense, right?

Then why do you write those books?

What difference does it make if I write or not?

Dude, you're a bit off!

What?

You and me, we won't last 6 months. - 6 months?

We can't last 6 hours.

An whole lifetime is out of the question.

Perfect.

Cheers to that.

What? Why didn't you book a room for yourself?

I didn't..

Where did you plan on sleeping? - I don't know.

I don't think that far ahead. - Yudi!

I thought you were on top of the arrangements.

I handled the travel.

Are you really sure you don't have any extra rooms?

Sorry, ma'am. We're fully booked.

This has to happen.

Enjoy your stay.

I can't believe I'm forced to share a room with you.

Come on, we're adults. We'll manage.

I'm an adult, I can't say the same about you.

So listen. I'll take the bed..

..and you take the couch.

You know, I have a bad back. I can't sleep on the couch.

So I should sleep on the couch? - No.

You don't have to.

It's a big bed.

We both can fit in here comfortably.

Without even touching each other. I promise.

No.

This is ridiculous. I always sleep on the left side.

You're on the left, just in the other direction.

Hang on a second. This is my room.

Why should I sleep on this side? - Don't be selfish.

Switch!

Really? - Yeah!

Roll over the blanket, Yudi.

Can you keep your feet away from my face?

You too.

Your feet stink. - Not more than your face.

Can you..

Aanchal.

Aanchal.

Aanchal.

Aanchal.

Okay, I'm going to lift your arm in the air.

If you're asleep, your arm will stay up.

Else it will fall down.

How old are you, Yudi?

Oh, so you're awake.

What do you want? - Nothing.

I just wanted to apologize.

You met with an accident because of me.

So I'm sorry.

I shouldn't have fallen asleep either.

Sorry, I got carried away and said too much. - No.

It was my idea to drive here.

All I had to do was drop you here safe and sound.

Driving here wasn't a bad idea at all.

I really enjoyed it.

Lovely weather, right?

The room's nice too.

So is the bed. So soft.

Should we do something?

Make out?

What? I can't hear you?

I think we should make out. - I can't hear you, Yudi.

Let's kiss!

You didn't have to kick me.

A polite no would've done fine.

Uhh, okay.

Hmm?

Okay.

What okay?

You won't fall in love, right?

I don't fall in love.

Good. - And normally, I usually say this to girls.

And I can never be so direct.

All I am saying is..

..I go back next week..

I don't want things between us..

So let's not complicate things. - No!

Let's just be in the moment. - Yeah!

You understand, right?

No falling in love.

Just control yourself. I'm very addictive.

What? - Should we put on some music?

I'm sorry. - You have a big nose.

You moved your head..

Okay.

Anyway, let's try this again.

Should we increase the volume?

Are you going to talk nonstop?

No!

Nothing's changed, right?

Not at all.

In fact, you seem more irritating.

Can we sleep properly now?

What, you mean upside down?

My face hurts.

I don't know how many times you kicked me in your sleep.

Next time sleep on the couch.

Tell me. One second, almost ready.

How do I look?

Like you worked really hard all night. - Shut up!

Relax. It will be fine.

"To gain something, you have to lose something."

"Rena knew it boiled down to just three words."

"But did she have the courage to finally say them aloud.."

"..to the person who stood for everything she despised?"

"In that heartbeat, she found the courage."

"So her thoughts were exactly this.."

"Love me and free my soul."

"I love you and adore you..."

"...and I don't know any other way of living."

"Of loving!"

And I counted 7 yawns, 3 snores and 1 dead person.

A very senior writer, friend and philosopher..

..once said to me, "People come to book reading.."

"..to know more about the author."

So I'm thinking let's you and me have a conversation.

Let's just talk. What do you say?

I have a question for you? - Yes, sure.

How close to your personal life is your writing?

Have you ever been in love?

Umm. Let's see. Class 3, Class 7, 12, college..

Three years ago. Kiran, Vikram, Hussain, Kkrish and Andy.

Yes, I have a question. - Yes.

Why do you write such conventional and idealistic love stories?

Because, our lives are so crowded..

..and often, love between two people gets lost in it.

So I thought there's one way to save love.

Write it down in the pages of a book and sell it.

What I am trying to say is that love nowadays is just a four-letter word..

Thank you!

"The heart sometimes...confuses me.."

"And...I'll be really grateful if..."

"Understand what's it saying...and tell me.."

"And...I'll be really grateful..."

"I'll be really grateful.."

"If you just let your heart express.."

"..what you could never say."

"Just like I am for you... You're for me."

"Just like I am for you... You're for me."

"If we keep meeting...like this.."

"Love might just seek us out."

"The heart's deceptive..."

"Why did it skip a beat...hearing about it?"

"It's no longer in my control."

"Since the heart's stuck on you."

Let's take a picture? - Of course.

Patel Value.

"Just like I am for you... You're for me."

"Just like I am for you... You're for me."

Yeah, baby!

Yudi!

"I'll be really grateful.."

"First I request... then miss you.."

"I think only about you."

"I don't love you.."

"..still I always want you around me."

"It's nothing... yet, there's something."

"Since we met, the heart feels..."

"Just like I am for you... You're for me."

"Just like I am for you... You're for me."

"You're for me."

"You're for me."

"I'll be really grateful.."

So, everything fine or not? - Yes and no.

Why does this always happen with you?

First, you were confused about Vishakha. Now it's Aanchal.

Shut up, Montu. There's no confusion this time.

I suggest you do a full background check on her.

If she falls in love with you..

..it will just spell trouble. - No chance.

She's just like me. - Like you?

Wow! Then this will be the best relationship of your life.

Yeah!

If she's so smart, why is she giving you so much attention?

Let me tell you something.

Girls love projects.

And what better project than me?

That's true. That's very true.

Aanchal.

Hey, what's happening?

Nothing, I'm free. - Hey! You're not free, okay?

Do what? - Have a drink with me.

Done. We'll meet at 9.

Yudi, don't go - Bye.

Don't go, Yudi! Yudi, what the hell!

You know how tough it's been..

..to get permission to go out..

I won't be able to do this..

..after I become a father.

Please let me go.

Aanchal's leaving tomorrow. It's her farewell dinner.

Tomorrow on, we're together. - Fine, go.

I know you don't love me. - Senti..

Vicky, could you keep an eye on my friend, please?

He's very depressed.

Sweetheart, why so sad? - Married, thank you.

Almost done.

Just two more minutes. One more minute.

Yeah. So what were you saying?

So. Suddenly, in the middle of the jungle..

Oh man!

Sorry!

And I left poor Montu alone for this?

Flight details..

Almost done.

Done.

So, tell me. - Forget it.

Oh come on, tell me.

I'm listening. Really!

Okay, so suddenly, in the middle of the jungle,

..a tiger? Or a bear?

Dinosaur?

Okay, let's say it was an elephant.

Suddenly he saw that an ele...

Yudi, my phone!

Yudi.. Yudi, I need the..

I'm sorry.

Sorry!

No! No!

Did this belong to one of your ex-girlfriends?

But she's not here. You can wear them.

No, I don't want them.

Fine, you come out as you are.

I love a naked girl in my bedroom.

What's all this?

Don't touch anything, please!

Wow! You wrote these?

Yes. Once upon a time, I used to be a writer.

Why haven't you completed any of it? - Couldn't find happy endings.

Not every story needs a happy ending.

Not bad.

You do work hard.

It's bad for my image.

Keep them back, please. - Fine.

And please don't tell anyone.

Can you play, or is it just to strike a pose?

Of course. I'm not a total fake.

Really? I wonder.

Actually, I always wanted to be a rockstar.

Yeah, I've heard that story.

So sing something. - Now?

No. I feel shy.

Why? Don't know how?

I'm a legend. The world just never got it.

Really?

Ready?

Wow! - I wrote that song in..

Okay, it's Led Zeppelin.

Yeah. But seriously. Anything.

"I was 16...and she was beautiful.."

And I bought this guitar to impress her.

Very impressed. - Thank you.

So...was she impressed? - No.

And I bought this guitar for no reason.

Funny.

Okay, seriously. - Seriously.

I don't remember it, but.. - But..

What are the words?

"It was in one of the drawers."

"It was right here... but now it's lost."

"It shouldn't have happened."

"My heart's gone missing."

"My senses were a bit dusty."

"That was my only fault."

"Let it be...what's gone, is gone."

"It was useless anyway."

"Welcome...my beloved."

"My heart... - It's your punishment."

Are you sure you can't stay for few more days? - I wish I could!

"Welcome...my beloved."

"Welcome...my beloved."

"Welcome...my beloved."

"Welcome...my beloved."

Aanchal..

Yeah?

You know?

Yeah?

When are you back?

I don't know.

I have no plans.

Do you have any plans of coming to India? - Not right now.

But I will, one day.

Okay.

Thanks, for everything.

I had fun.

So I'll see you tomorrow before I leave, right?

I have to meet Armaan..

Deadlines..

You know how it is. - I know. No problem.

I'll try. - It's okay.

So bye, I guess?

Bye.

That turned out such an anti-climax. - It's correct.

We decided not to complicate the situation.

But you want her to come back.

Why haven't you answered your phone?

Sorry, must be somewhere inside.

What are you doing here?

Where's your husband? - I left him!

What? For me? - Shut up!

I'm not leaving until he comes here and apologizes to me.

That could take weeks! - So is that a problem?

That's fine. That's fine.

I'll take your bed, you take the couch, okay?

Actually, I have a backache. That bed is specifically designed for me.

Yudi, I've only heard this crap a few million times.

Besides, you could sleep on the floor, it's really good for the back.

So basically, the first time I feel something for a girl..

..and she's leaving. - Oh my God!

You're in love with her. - I don't know if it's love.

That's your problem.

You never accept your feelings.

If you go on like this..

..you'll stay alone all your life.

Anyway, can I ask you something?

Can you live without her? - Of course.

I can live without anyone.

I don't need anybody.

Let me put it in a different way.

Will you miss her if she leaves?

Maybe. - That's it. It's love.

This is love?

Well, not for the rest of the world.

But for your standards, this is enough.

Since it's established you're in love-ish with her.. - But we..

Shh! I think now that it's clear.

You should go tell her.

Seriously, Yudi.

Stop living your life like a comedy. Live it like a love story.

Kickass line. I should write that down.

My kick and you're fool!

You're in love!

Mommy. - Oh, honey.

Come here. Come here, honey.

You okay?

Look who's here?

Daddy's here!

Okay, come on, let's give you your bag.

Come on, honey.

Come on! - Daddy!

Daddy!

Take care, okay?

Listen, Divya.

I know I hurt you bad.

I never said this properly.

But I'm really sorry.

Can you say that again, please?

I really am sorry.

Its okay, I wasn't any less, either.

You know?

Anyway, come here. - I'll get crushed.

Come on. Give me a hug.

You take care of yourself, okay? - You too.

She's leaving.

Aanchal. - I know.

You think I should.. - Yes, I think you should.

The Airport Climax never fails.

What rubbish! - That's how the world works.

Don't try to change the rules.

Look, no one knows why..

..but, the Airport Climax Scene always works.

But they won't let me inside.

Buy a cheap ticket to somewhere.

I could always call and stop her. - That'll just kill the effect.

Nonsense!

Sir. - Be back in a minute, buddy.

Look at that guy.

Driving like an maniac.

And people blame us taxi drivers.

As if the road is his father's property.

Hey!

Stop the cab! - Stupid Indian!

Stop the cab!

I'll show you who's the real Michael Schumacher!

Aanchal!

Aanchal!

You? - Tell him to stop.

What are you doing here?! - Tell that moron to stop!

Careful, you might hurt someone. - No, madam.

We will win this race.

What is he doing? - I know him. Stop!

Stop! - You know this fool?

Yes! Please stop the car.

You could've said this before.

What are you doing here?

I've got something to tell you.

Please don't.

You don't even know what I'm going to say. - I don't want to know.

You won't even give me a chance?

Don't ruin it, Yudi.

Really? - It's easier said than done.

And we don't believe in all this, right.

No falling in love, remember?

But I can change.

Maybe..

I'm not just talking about you.

I am not ready for this, Yudi.

And I know you aren't either.

Trust me on this.

You'll thank me for this later.

We'll still be friends.

"Boasts all the time."

"But turns out to be a dud."

"Bad luck sent a gift."

"But he was really happy to see it."

"Even after hearing his doom calling.."

"...stupid fool asks what is that?"

"Bro...you're such a pussycat."

"A big oaf and spoil brat."

"You've no reason to chat."

"Bro...you're such a pussy...cat."

What are you doing, Yudi?

What's wrong with you?

That's enough.

Thank you for getting me here, Yudi.

I'm so happy you're back in your senses.

Your depression made my life boring.

But yeah, how long will I cry over one girl?

Did I give her a dollar less?

Let's do something wild.

Don't answer!

Oh!

Oh, so what's wrong with him? - Unfortunately..

..he's had an anxiety attack. - Oh my God!

Hey, Yudi. - Hi.

What happened?

I'm pregnant.

Shoot!

I'm so sorry.

He's dying, isn't he? He's dying, right?

If anything happens to him, I'll be all alone.

No, Montu, he isn't dying.

Then what happened?

I'm pregnant with your child.

Oops.. baby? How?

What do you mean by how?

What's going on? Why are all the women getting pregnant at the same time?

Is this some kind of flu?

Shut up, Montu. Please.

Now we're really brothers.

My wife and your Vishakha, are both pregnant.

Didn't I always tell you, Yudi?

No matter how many girls you fool around with..

..you'll end up marrying her.

Relax, relax, I'm just joking.

Relax.

I love you, Yudi. You're my best friend.

Please don't die! - Don't worry.

You aren't wearing anything below? - No.

So what are you going to do?

Vishakha's pregnant, I can't abandon her now.

I have to do the right thing.

Let's try to get a hold of your life.

You're going to marry the girl you don't love..

..because she's pregnant with your child.

The girl you loved is now the mother of three kids..

..and stays at your place with her kids whenever she wants.

And the girl you love now..

Is treating you the exact same way you treated all your girlfriends so far.

Karma is being bitchy.

So what's your point?

There's no point. You're just screwed, that's all.

Idiot!

"They say love dwells in every heart."

"Someone just needs to find it."

"You never know when one falls in love."

"When the eyes...meet."

"The distance made me realize.."

"..how close you're to me."

Surprise!

Happy birthday! Yudi cutiepie!

I got him good!

Everybody's here.

Thanks.

"Happy birthday to you!"

She's nice.

Okay.

Hi.

Montu.

I'm sure Yudi's told you about me. - Not really.

Oh!

Yudi and I have been BFFs for 15 years.

Best Friends Forever.

Oh!

I was Yudi's GF.

I'm F now, and will soon be W.

We're very close.

I mean close friends.

I am pregnant with his child.

Hey. - Hey.

Yudi pudie pie.

I love you.

You've never once said "I love you" to me.

You know what? I don't want to marry you.

Come on, Vishakha. - No.

If you're marrying me out of pity, I don't want any of it.

It's not pity, this is our kid. - Yudi..

I'm not pregnant.

I'm sorry? What?!

I lied to you.

What?! - I know.

I'm having a panic attack again.

But why? Why? - Because.. I thought it was the only way.

You'd have never said yes otherwise.

But such a big lie? Have you lost your mind?

Vishakha, that's just mean.

You're crazy!

You have a right to be angry. Say what you need to say.

I could've got a heart attack. I could've died!

Don't worry. You won't die so easily.

You love yourself too much.

I'll just mail it to you. - Don't worry about it.

You should go to her. - And do what?

Tell her that you love her.

I've said it once already.

You want me say it again?

You'll have to say it from the heart.

And prove you really love her.

Prove to whom?

Them.

Who? - Them. Them.

What?

Prove to the whole world, the universe..

..that you've changed, and that you love this girl.

But before that, you have to really change from the inside.

How much more do I have to change?

Change can't be measured.

It can only be felt.

In movies, this is so easy..

Music does half the work..

..and everything's fine in a minute or two.

But there's no option for poetry in life.

The last few years, I started many books..

..never finished even one.

I was afraid that Ending should not be bad.

See. I don't like endings.

If I don't write ending then atleast hope remains.

This time, I'll have to commit to one story honestly.

So what if I fail?

At least I won't be scared anymore.

Oh no. No. No.

You actually wrote the script.

I thought I'd have to return their advance.

I even got my cheque book.

Remember, don't stare.

Come.

I said, don't stare.

Hello.

What's this?

The script.

Come narrate it to me.

On the beach.

He is convinced he's unable to finish the book..

..because he can never start it. Suddenly..

Suddenly, he realizes that silence is the best poem.

And.. he wrote it down..

Cut to wide!

A red convertible enters in slow motion.

And then..

Jimmy, jimmy, jimmy, jimmy, jimmy, jimmy, jimmy, jimmy, close!

He wears his sunglasses, lights up his cigarette,

A superhit song starts,

That's the hero's reentry.

In high speed, another red convertible screeches to a halt.

There's this stunning beauty sitting inside.

Cut to your close. Cut to her close.

Cut to your close. Cut to her close.

He's playing a song for her on the guitar. Soft music!

And it strikes a chord in the girl's heart.

She turns around, and it starts to rain.

He's wandering around like a madman, missing her.

Rain continues.

He looks towards the sea and smiles.

He thinks, one day..

One day.

Then?

What then?

That's all I wrote. - What?

Where's the ending?

I haven't found the ending.

I'm going in search of it.

"I found it... - But I didn't know it."

"Since I knew you.. - I forgot everything else."

"I found it... - But I didn't know it."

"Since I knew you.. - I forgot everything else."

What do you want? - Aanchal.

Ma'am. Someone here to see you.

So, what are you doing here?

Well, I was in the neighborhood. So I thought I'd just say hi.

Okay.

Hello.

Hi.

Are you done with your script? - Well, almost.

I couldn't find the ending.

That's why I'm here. - Oh.

I thought you came here to see me.

I have a few notes. - Of the climax?

For you.

Me?

You said don't ruin things by saying it.

So I wrote it down.

I'm a writer, after all. I need to read what I've written,

.. to really understand.

Read it.

"If you want to learn how to swim, you have to jump into the water."

"How long will I to sit in my boat scared of.."

Okay, that's rubbish.

It was just warm-up.

It's nonsense. Read the next one.

They say opposites attract. It's a lie.

Everywhere, we look for a reflection of us.

If you ever do find one, treasure it, keep it safe.

Oh nonsense!

The best line just flew away. - Sorry.

You know, Aanchal.

I'm not asking you to spend the rest of your life with me.

Who wants a lifelong commitment?

Let's take a day at a time.

We won't think about the future or look at the past.

We'll just take care of the present.

And before you know it, we'd have spent the rest of our lives..

Aanchal..

I love..

You okay?

Yeah.

Good.

So, I said I love you.

Do you have something to say?

Thanks.

Thanks? Are you serious?

What? - I mean, it was hard for me to say that I..

"They say love dwells in every heart."

"Someone just needs to find it."

By the way you didn't answer my question.

You said lets take a day at a time.

So only today. We can think about tomorrow later.

Oh really?

Every story can have a happy ending.

If you end it at the right time.

For now, this is The End to my story.

"I found it...

I came all the way from America just for you.

Even forever seemed like an hour waiting for you.

Now, no one can separate us.

I love you, baby doll.

Aaand CUT!

Mind-blowing, Armaanji. Superb!

Did you understand what I said? - Not really.

Come to the van, I'll explain it to you.

Thanks.

They should have casted Aliya. By paying ten million rupees or so more.

She's a bit old.

Excuse me, Sir, I didn't write that dialogue.

What is he saying?

First time, right? - But..

It's okay.

Superb, Sir. Superb. - Thanks.

How was it?

Nice.

How are the dialogues coming?

Kickass!

"Boasts all the time."

"But turns out to be a dud."

"Bad luck sent a gift."

"But he was really happy to see it."

"Even after hearing his doom calling.."

"...stupid fool asks what is that?"

"Bro...you're such a pussycat."

"A big oaf and spoil brat."

"You've no reason to chat."

"Bro...you're such a pussy...cat."

"I wonder what your destiny... has in store for you."

"Son...you're stuck...in your own trap."

"A little girl...bowled you over."

"And you just held to your bat."

"Bro...you're such a pussycat."

"A big oaf and spoil brat."

"You've no reason to chat."

"Bro...you're such a pussy...cat."