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1
00:00:01,584 --> 00:00:03,795
If I want it, I should be able to buy it.
It's my money.
2
00:00:03,878 --> 00:00:05,714
Not legally it isn't.
Not yet.
3
00:00:05,797 --> 00:00:07,424
I earned it.
4
00:00:07,507 --> 00:00:08,925
This is getting ridiculous.
5
00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:11,928
Can't we ever have a meal
that doesn't end in this argument?
6
00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:14,431
It's not like I'm asking
for a Ferrari.
7
00:00:14,514 --> 00:00:18,518
Just a little
Beemer convertible.
8
00:00:18,601 --> 00:00:20,145
Do you know
what that thing costs?
9
00:00:20,228 --> 00:00:22,564
Doogie, what's wrong
with the station wagon?
10
00:00:22,647 --> 00:00:23,940
Mom, it's a tub.
11
00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:26,943
The only people that drive those things
are auto crash dummies.
12
00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:29,446
We told you,
we'll paint it.
13
00:00:29,529 --> 00:00:32,032
We'll put in
a nice sound system.
14
00:00:32,115 --> 00:00:34,534
If you can drive it a year without
a moving violation or an accident,
15
00:00:34,617 --> 00:00:36,703
then we'll
talk about a new car.
16
00:00:36,786 --> 00:00:38,288
End of discussion.
17
00:00:38,371 --> 00:00:40,707
Not one of your friends
has a brand new car.
18
00:00:40,790 --> 00:00:42,876
Not one of my friends
earns $28,000 a year.
19
00:00:42,959 --> 00:00:46,379
Which I'm not gonna let you
blow on a $30,000 car.
20
00:00:46,463 --> 00:00:48,798
Well, if that's the way you're gonna be,
maybe I ought to petition the court
21
00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:50,425
for emancipated minor status.
22
00:00:50,508 --> 00:00:53,053
Oh, Doogie, not that again.
23
00:00:53,136 --> 00:00:56,222
If I'm old enough to earn it,
I should be old enough spend it.
24
00:00:56,306 --> 00:00:58,808
Let me get this straight.
25
00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:01,144
You don't want any restrictions
26
00:01:01,227 --> 00:01:02,896
on how you spend the money you earn,
27
00:01:02,979 --> 00:01:05,148
you don't want a curfew,
28
00:01:05,231 --> 00:01:08,151
you don't wanna clean up your room
or do any other chores.
29
00:01:08,234 --> 00:01:09,652
Is there anything I'm leaving out?
30
00:01:09,736 --> 00:01:13,073
Why can't I just live here
without all the hassle?
31
00:01:13,156 --> 00:01:14,991
Because we're running
a family here, not a hotel.
32
00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:17,077
Well, maybe I should
go to a hotel.
33
00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:18,661
Oh, please.
34
00:01:18,745 --> 00:01:20,330
I'm serious.
The way you guys treat me,
35
00:01:20,413 --> 00:01:22,832
Maybe I ought to be
thinking about moving out.
36
00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:25,919
You can put that thought
out of your head right now.
37
00:01:26,002 --> 00:01:27,170
You can't stop me.
38
00:01:27,253 --> 00:01:28,713
Oh, yes, I can.
39
00:01:28,797 --> 00:01:30,590
Doogie, maybe you should go.
40
00:01:32,258 --> 00:01:33,843
What?
41
00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:36,429
If he's not going
to let us parent him,
42
00:01:36,513 --> 00:01:39,182
maybe he should
paddle his own canoe.
43
00:01:46,606 --> 00:01:48,858
Maybe your mother's right.
44
00:01:51,402 --> 00:01:54,864
(theme music playing)
45
00:03:00,513 --> 00:03:01,472
Tomorrow morning,
46
00:03:01,556 --> 00:03:05,560
this hospital will be admitting
the rock star Charmagne.
47
00:03:05,643 --> 00:03:08,771
Whoa! Hey. All right.
48
00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:11,065
I've seen her videos.
49
00:03:11,149 --> 00:03:13,359
The woman is a stone goddess.
50
00:03:15,528 --> 00:03:19,449
Dr. Peters will be removing
a nodule from her vocal chords.
51
00:03:19,532 --> 00:03:22,869
We all know how these celebrity types
are about their privacy.
52
00:03:22,952 --> 00:03:26,539
I've assured her that's what
she'll get--total privacy.
53
00:03:26,623 --> 00:03:28,583
I've notified
the nursing staff.
54
00:03:28,666 --> 00:03:31,711
Her presence here is
to remain a complete secret.
55
00:03:31,794 --> 00:03:33,796
Are we keeping you up,
Dr. Howser?
56
00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:35,965
Sorry. I've been up
all night.
57
00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:38,801
Six-car pileup on the 405.
Long shift.
58
00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:40,345
Well, rest up.
59
00:03:40,428 --> 00:03:44,140
You're on rounds tomorrow
with Dr. Peters.
60
00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:45,141
Now, people,
61
00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:47,560
I'm relying
on your good judgment.
62
00:03:47,644 --> 00:03:50,313
No leaks about
this Charmagne thing.
63
00:03:50,396 --> 00:03:52,357
I don't want
this facility
64
00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:54,651
turned into a teenage
invasion from hell.
65
00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:57,820
That's it.
66
00:03:57,904 --> 00:03:59,322
Thank you all.
67
00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:02,992
Yo, Peters.
68
00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:04,535
I'll give you $100
69
00:04:04,619 --> 00:04:07,997
if you let me
give her a sponge bath.
70
00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:09,999
Does it ever bother you
71
00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:12,377
that pathology's on the same floor
as the cafeteria?
72
00:04:12,460 --> 00:04:15,129
It's not that far-fetched,
me and her.
73
00:04:15,213 --> 00:04:17,465
Celebrities have
a thing for doctors.
74
00:04:17,548 --> 00:04:19,509
It's their perception of us--
75
00:04:19,592 --> 00:04:23,596
we're all-powerful, we're
healers, we're godlike.
76
00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:25,598
Cybill Shepherd,
Mary Tyler Moore,
77
00:04:25,682 --> 00:04:27,350
Victoria Principal--
78
00:04:27,433 --> 00:04:29,018
-they all married doctors.
-I don't know.
79
00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:32,855
Ms. Charmagne McGuire
doesn't exactly resonate for me.
80
00:04:32,939 --> 00:04:33,856
Hi, guys.
81
00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:34,857
Hi.
82
00:04:34,941 --> 00:04:35,942
Hi, Curly.
83
00:04:36,025 --> 00:04:38,861
Jack, you still
looking for a roommate?
84
00:04:38,945 --> 00:04:40,780
Sure.
You got someone in mind?
85
00:04:40,863 --> 00:04:42,448
Yeah. Me.
86
00:04:42,532 --> 00:04:43,366
What?
87
00:04:43,449 --> 00:04:44,701
What's going on, Doog?
88
00:04:44,784 --> 00:04:46,536
I'm moving out
of my parents' house.
89
00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:47,620
When did this happen?
90
00:04:47,704 --> 00:04:48,621
Last night.
91
00:04:48,705 --> 00:04:51,124
I'm gonna get a declaration
of emancipation.
92
00:04:51,207 --> 00:04:52,292
What's that?
93
00:04:52,375 --> 00:04:54,794
Section 64,
California civil code.
94
00:04:54,877 --> 00:04:56,254
You have to be 14,
95
00:04:56,337 --> 00:04:58,715
willingly living apart from your parents,
96
00:04:58,798 --> 00:05:00,758
managing your own financial affairs,
97
00:05:00,842 --> 00:05:02,844
and your income
isn't from criminal activities.
98
00:05:02,927 --> 00:05:06,055
I've got that covered.
It should take three, four weeks tops.
99
00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:08,224
Doogie, are you sure
you wanna do this?
100
00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:09,475
It's pretty rough out there.
101
00:05:09,559 --> 00:05:11,019
I can handle it.
102
00:05:11,102 --> 00:05:12,645
I've got the money.
103
00:05:12,729 --> 00:05:14,147
I'm not just talking about the money.
104
00:05:14,230 --> 00:05:15,857
But t's a good place to start.
105
00:05:15,940 --> 00:05:19,235
Listen, Doog, we make
around 2,500 a month, right?
106
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:21,821
Okay.
Let's start subtracting.
107
00:05:21,904 --> 00:05:24,073
Your taxes are roughly 700.
108
00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:27,076
Rent's about 800.
That's if you share a place.
109
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:30,079
Food's 200,
if you cook at home.
110
00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:32,248
And you'll need a car
and insurance.
111
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:34,250
And that's not
counting entertainment--
112
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:35,710
dates, movies, eating out.
113
00:05:35,793 --> 00:05:38,671
And then you've got
laundry bills, dry cleaning.
114
00:05:38,755 --> 00:05:40,506
Well, you guys do it.
115
00:05:40,590 --> 00:05:42,633
Hey, I still get help from my folks.
116
00:05:42,717 --> 00:05:44,344
And I have two roommates.
117
00:05:44,427 --> 00:05:46,679
And when I date,
the guy normally pays.
118
00:05:46,763 --> 00:05:49,682
Look, it doesn't take much
to run my life.
119
00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:52,268
Besides, this isn't about money,
it's about freedom,
120
00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:54,103
I've got to do this thing.
It's time.
121
00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:56,105
So what do you say, Jack?
Can I move in?
122
00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:58,775
I'm sorry, Doogie.
I just wouldn't feel comfortable with it.
123
00:05:59,942 --> 00:06:01,819
Your friends are much younger.
124
00:06:01,903 --> 00:06:03,821
I don't want a lot of kids around.
125
00:06:03,905 --> 00:06:05,948
Besides, I like to entertain,
126
00:06:06,032 --> 00:06:08,034
if you know what I mean.
127
00:06:08,117 --> 00:06:09,494
Much as I'd like to help you out--
128
00:06:09,577 --> 00:06:11,746
Geez, McGuire,
you're as bad as my folks,
129
00:06:11,829 --> 00:06:13,623
and you're not even 30-something.
130
00:06:13,706 --> 00:06:15,083
Thanks a heap.
131
00:06:20,463 --> 00:06:23,341
You think his parents
would let me have his room?
132
00:06:30,014 --> 00:06:31,682
Hey, Vinnie.
What are you doing here?
133
00:06:31,766 --> 00:06:33,434
Your mom sent you
a laundrygram, dude,
134
00:06:33,518 --> 00:06:34,894
and it ain't clean.
135
00:06:34,977 --> 00:06:36,270
So where's your new place?
136
00:06:36,354 --> 00:06:37,730
So far, you're looking at it.
137
00:06:37,814 --> 00:06:40,483
Are you kidding?
We can't party here.
138
00:06:40,566 --> 00:06:42,068
I'm going to look
at a place tonight.
139
00:06:42,151 --> 00:06:43,319
Be sure and get a two-bedroom.
140
00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:44,320
When I run away from home,
I want a place to run to.
141
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:48,074
Okay, now let's
talk about Charmagne.
142
00:06:48,157 --> 00:06:49,158
Who?
143
00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:50,076
Oh, that's good.
144
00:06:50,159 --> 00:06:52,495
Play stupid.
I just saw her limo parked in the back--
145
00:06:52,578 --> 00:06:54,455
the one with "dreaming"
on the license plate.
146
00:06:54,539 --> 00:06:55,415
She's here.
147
00:06:55,498 --> 00:06:57,542
Oh, that. Yeah, she cut her finger
in the kitchen.
148
00:06:57,625 --> 00:07:00,586
She'll be in and out
in about an hour.
149
00:07:01,838 --> 00:07:04,173
You got that face.
150
00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:05,758
What face?
151
00:07:05,842 --> 00:07:07,343
That Debbie Beckwith face.
152
00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:10,596
The one you used when you lied to me
about taking her out.
153
00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:12,140
Debbie Beckwith?
154
00:07:12,223 --> 00:07:13,891
Debbie Beckwith.
Sixth grade. Real cute
155
00:07:13,975 --> 00:07:16,853
until she had the zit medicine
and grew a mustache.
156
00:07:16,936 --> 00:07:18,354
You're lying to me.
157
00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:20,273
Charmagne's in here for a stay.
158
00:07:20,356 --> 00:07:22,024
All right. She's in here.
159
00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:25,027
But you can't tell anybody.
If word gets out, Canfield will kill me.
160
00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:26,529
You've got to promise me.
161
00:07:26,612 --> 00:07:28,030
Big promise, Delpino.
162
00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:29,699
Okay, okay.
What's she in for?
163
00:07:29,782 --> 00:07:31,868
She's getting a nodule
removed from her throat.
164
00:07:31,951 --> 00:07:35,037
Great.
What's a nodule?
165
00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:37,206
It's a small mass of tissue
in the form of a swelling.
166
00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:38,541
It looks like a knot.
167
00:07:38,624 --> 00:07:40,209
Get me that nodule.
168
00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:43,045
Vinnie, go. I've got
to get some sleep.
169
00:07:43,129 --> 00:07:45,047
Come on, Howser.
I want it. I could bronze it
170
00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:46,883
and hang it from
my rear view mirror.
171
00:07:46,966 --> 00:07:48,551
Can you at least
get me in to see her?
172
00:07:48,634 --> 00:07:51,053
Are you kidding?
There's security. Canfield's all over us.
173
00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:54,098
You got to get me something--
an autograph, slipper.
174
00:07:54,182 --> 00:07:55,308
Her sheets.
175
00:08:53,866 --> 00:08:55,076
Yes?
176
00:08:55,159 --> 00:08:56,285
Hi.
177
00:08:56,369 --> 00:08:58,204
I'm Dr. Howser.
178
00:08:58,287 --> 00:09:00,623
Oh, right.
The genius.
179
00:09:00,706 --> 00:09:03,793
Well, I'm not really a genius.
180
00:09:03,876 --> 00:09:06,462
I mean, I am a genius.
181
00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:09,549
Believe me, I know a lot of stuff--tons.
182
00:09:09,632 --> 00:09:13,135
So don't think I'm not a genius.
183
00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:15,555
You going to check me out or what?
184
00:09:18,724 --> 00:09:20,726
Oh. Of course.
185
00:09:23,729 --> 00:09:24,814
Uh-huh.
186
00:09:26,190 --> 00:09:28,526
This checks out good to me.
187
00:09:28,609 --> 00:09:29,735
Real good.
188
00:09:30,945 --> 00:09:33,823
You see, the reason
they sent me in here
189
00:09:33,906 --> 00:09:36,158
is that my specialty
is the heart,
190
00:09:36,242 --> 00:09:39,745
and it's very important
that before a surgery of this type
191
00:09:39,829 --> 00:09:42,582
that, uh, your heart
be functioning
192
00:09:42,665 --> 00:09:45,251
in a very special
functioning way.
193
00:09:45,334 --> 00:09:47,003
All systems tiptop,
you know.
194
00:09:47,086 --> 00:09:48,629
Oh. Sure.
195
00:09:54,343 --> 00:09:55,803
Have a listen.
196
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:03,519
Isn't my heart
on the other side?
197
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:07,356
Oh, well, it's important
to sneak up on it.
198
00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:13,529
So how am I doing?
199
00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:15,031
Oh, boy.
200
00:10:15,114 --> 00:10:17,950
There's a heart in there,
all right.
201
00:10:18,034 --> 00:10:19,452
A big one.
202
00:10:19,535 --> 00:10:22,538
Listen, uh, despite
my being a doctor,
203
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:24,832
I hang around
with a lot of juveniles.
204
00:10:24,915 --> 00:10:28,669
And, um, one such juvenile I know
is a very big fan of yours.
205
00:10:28,753 --> 00:10:30,504
Uh, if it wouldn't
be too much to ask,
206
00:10:30,588 --> 00:10:32,632
could you give him
a, um, an autograph?
207
00:10:32,715 --> 00:10:34,216
Sure. No problem.
208
00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:36,886
His name
is Vinnie Delpino.
209
00:10:40,222 --> 00:10:43,309
Doctor,
is this necessary?
210
00:10:44,518 --> 00:10:46,937
Well, sometimes
when the heart moves,
211
00:10:47,021 --> 00:10:49,440
you can get
a different perspective.
212
00:10:49,523 --> 00:10:51,108
Medically speaking,
of course.
213
00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:54,820
It's a very new concept.
214
00:10:54,904 --> 00:10:56,822
DOOGIE:
I'm not gonna lie to you.
215
00:10:56,906 --> 00:10:59,825
I've been to a lot of places,
and I've been turned down.
216
00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:01,911
Do you have to be a certain age
217
00:11:01,994 --> 00:11:03,412
to rent one of your rooms?
218
00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:07,833
Do you have $25 American currency?
219
00:11:08,876 --> 00:11:10,503
Yes, I do.
220
00:11:10,586 --> 00:11:12,088
Sign here.
221
00:11:16,926 --> 00:11:19,261
Here's your bucket,
222
00:11:19,345 --> 00:11:21,806
your glass,
223
00:11:21,889 --> 00:11:24,266
and your complimentary soap.
224
00:11:26,185 --> 00:11:29,689
You're not an armed man, are you?
225
00:11:29,772 --> 00:11:31,440
No, sir.
226
00:11:32,858 --> 00:11:34,777
I have to ask.
227
00:11:42,493 --> 00:11:44,704
WOMAN: I don't wanna hear it.
228
00:11:44,787 --> 00:11:48,249
(siren wailing)
229
00:11:48,332 --> 00:11:51,293
WOMAN: How could you
lie to me, Paul?
230
00:11:51,377 --> 00:11:52,753
MAN: I was going to get around
to telling you.
231
00:11:52,837 --> 00:11:54,213
It was just never
the right time.
232
00:11:54,296 --> 00:11:56,632
You're married, you slimy toad!
233
00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:58,676
Get your hands off of me!
234
00:11:58,759 --> 00:12:00,261
Come on, honey.
235
00:12:00,344 --> 00:12:01,387
It doesn't really change anything.
236
00:12:01,470 --> 00:12:03,639
It doesn't change what
we have for each other.
237
00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:06,726
-It changes what I've got for you, buster!
-(glass breaks)
238
00:12:06,809 --> 00:12:07,935
Look, it's not like
I'm really married.
239
00:12:08,018 --> 00:12:09,687
I'm just in the middle of a divorce.
240
00:12:09,770 --> 00:12:11,147
I--I'm going to--
241
00:12:11,230 --> 00:12:12,690
who are you calling?
242
00:12:12,773 --> 00:12:14,150
Give me that phone!
243
00:12:14,233 --> 00:12:15,735
-(telephone clangs)
-Ow!
244
00:12:15,818 --> 00:12:17,820
Where are you going?
Come here and help me.
245
00:12:17,903 --> 00:12:19,113
(door slams)
246
00:12:19,196 --> 00:12:20,406
Ah, I'm hurt!
247
00:12:20,489 --> 00:12:22,408
Get back in here, Denise!
248
00:12:22,491 --> 00:12:25,786
-Nobody runs out on me!
-(pounding on door)
249
00:12:27,288 --> 00:12:28,414
(pounding continues)
250
00:12:28,497 --> 00:12:30,833
Where do you think
you're going, huh?
251
00:12:30,916 --> 00:12:32,084
Denise!
252
00:12:34,003 --> 00:12:35,880
Can I use your phone?
253
00:12:35,963 --> 00:12:37,465
-MAN: Denise, I'm warning you!
-Uh, sure.
254
00:12:37,548 --> 00:12:40,176
Your goose is cooked now,
you lowlife cheese ball!
255
00:12:40,259 --> 00:12:43,095
And while I'm at it, I'm going
to stir-fry your pants!
256
00:12:43,179 --> 00:12:44,847
MAN:
I'm warning you!
257
00:12:44,930 --> 00:12:46,390
-I'm warning you, Denise!
-(pounding)
258
00:12:46,474 --> 00:12:48,851
Hello.
Is this Cecelia?
259
00:12:48,934 --> 00:12:50,019
Raah!
260
00:12:50,102 --> 00:12:51,520
Here. It's for you.
261
00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:53,856
-It's your wife!
-Get back in here now.
262
00:12:53,939 --> 00:12:55,858
What are you staring at, punk?
263
00:12:55,941 --> 00:12:59,320
When I get ahold of you,
you're gonna be sorry! I mean it!
264
00:13:07,286 --> 00:13:08,913
Good morning.
265
00:13:08,996 --> 00:13:10,748
How are we feeling?
266
00:13:10,831 --> 00:13:13,709
A little nervous.
267
00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:15,211
Nothing to worry about.
268
00:13:15,294 --> 00:13:16,712
You're in good hands here.
269
00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:18,589
This is Dr. Fields.
270
00:13:18,672 --> 00:13:20,633
He'll be giving your anesthesia,
271
00:13:20,716 --> 00:13:22,343
and he'll want to talk
with you after I'm finished.
272
00:13:22,426 --> 00:13:26,096
This is Dr. Howser,
the resident on this service.
273
00:13:26,180 --> 00:13:29,016
He'll be doing
the postoperative follow-up.
274
00:13:29,099 --> 00:13:30,518
Nurse will be in to give you a pre-op
in about--
275
00:13:30,601 --> 00:13:31,685
Hold it.
276
00:13:31,769 --> 00:13:33,646
This kid is bogus.
277
00:13:33,729 --> 00:13:37,316
I assure you, Dr. Howser is
a bona fide M.D.
278
00:13:37,399 --> 00:13:39,318
Dr. Howser is short, dark,
279
00:13:39,401 --> 00:13:41,904
has funny teeth, and talks with
a New York accent.
280
00:13:41,987 --> 00:13:43,447
Vinnie.
281
00:13:43,531 --> 00:13:45,032
Vinnie?
282
00:13:45,115 --> 00:13:48,077
This is not the kid that I saw
the other day.
283
00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:49,578
Aw, this is ridiculous.
284
00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:52,414
If you guys can get away with something
like this, what's next?
285
00:13:52,498 --> 00:13:56,043
Maybe you'll yank out my gall bladder
instead of my nodule.
286
00:13:56,126 --> 00:13:58,420
All of you, get out!
I'm out of here.
287
00:13:58,504 --> 00:14:02,508
Out! Now! I don't want to see
any of you ever again!
288
00:14:02,591 --> 00:14:06,095
Okay, the bottom line
is you get your tail back in her room.
289
00:14:06,178 --> 00:14:08,472
You crawl on all fours
and bark like a dog if you have to.
290
00:14:08,556 --> 00:14:11,433
Beg, prostrate yourself,
but make this all right.
291
00:14:11,517 --> 00:14:12,768
She was pretty mad.
292
00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:14,812
She could attack me,
do physical damage.
293
00:14:14,895 --> 00:14:17,398
What are you worried about?
You're in a hospital.
294
00:14:27,783 --> 00:14:29,577
Uh, hi.
295
00:14:31,161 --> 00:14:33,122
Uh, I came to apologize.
296
00:14:33,205 --> 00:14:35,624
I obviously
picked a good time.
297
00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:37,459
Listen, I realize--
298
00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:38,961
You realize nothing.
299
00:14:39,044 --> 00:14:41,797
You may be the 16-year-old
genius doctor from another planet,
300
00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:44,091
but you are an idiot,
and your friend is an idiot.
301
00:14:44,174 --> 00:14:47,094
You may know how to laser
302
00:14:47,177 --> 00:14:48,095
the reproductive organs off a gnat,
303
00:14:48,178 --> 00:14:52,391
but I am not staying in a hospital
that will put up with such immaturity.
304
00:14:54,143 --> 00:14:57,563
So, Dr. Puberty,
I am out of here.
305
00:14:59,773 --> 00:15:01,150
Hold it.
You can't go.
306
00:15:01,233 --> 00:15:02,443
Why not?
307
00:15:02,526 --> 00:15:04,153
Because you need this surgery.
308
00:15:04,236 --> 00:15:07,114
There are other hospitals,
other doctors.
309
00:15:07,197 --> 00:15:08,616
Now out of my way.
310
00:15:08,699 --> 00:15:10,326
Okay, just tell me one thing.
311
00:15:10,409 --> 00:15:13,287
Are you really leaving because
you're steamed at this hospital,
312
00:15:13,370 --> 00:15:14,705
or are you leaving
because you're scared?
313
00:15:14,788 --> 00:15:17,750
Do you know what could happen
if that guy Dr. Peters slips?
314
00:15:17,833 --> 00:15:20,002
My career is down the toilet.
315
00:15:20,085 --> 00:15:22,171
He won't slip.
Peters is the best in the business.
316
00:15:22,254 --> 00:15:24,089
Even the best
can have a bad day.
317
00:15:24,173 --> 00:15:26,467
He's done 1,000 of these surgeries.
318
00:15:26,550 --> 00:15:28,802
Yeah, well,
you're not the one lying there
319
00:15:28,886 --> 00:15:31,138
with surgical instruments in your mouth.
320
00:15:32,431 --> 00:15:35,100
You are scared, aren't you?
321
00:15:36,435 --> 00:15:37,311
Okay.
322
00:15:37,394 --> 00:15:39,313
So what if I am?
323
00:15:39,396 --> 00:15:41,899
Honest, there's nothing
to be scared about.
324
00:15:41,982 --> 00:15:43,859
It's a relatively
simple procedure,
325
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:45,361
and I'll personally see to it
326
00:15:45,444 --> 00:15:48,405
that your family's apprised
every step of the way.
327
00:15:48,489 --> 00:15:49,615
What family?
328
00:15:49,698 --> 00:15:51,033
Oh, I'm sorry.
329
00:15:51,116 --> 00:15:53,661
Hey, don't hold any benefits for me.
330
00:15:53,744 --> 00:15:56,914
I'm a big girl.
I left home when I was 15.
331
00:15:56,997 --> 00:15:58,749
Really? How come?
332
00:15:58,832 --> 00:16:00,250
None of your business.
333
00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:05,214
You know, the usual broken home
song and dance.
334
00:16:05,297 --> 00:16:07,716
I was better off on my own.
Believe me.
335
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:09,385
Yeah, I know what you mean.
336
00:16:09,468 --> 00:16:10,970
I just left home myself.
337
00:16:11,053 --> 00:16:14,014
Why would someone
like you leave home?
338
00:16:14,098 --> 00:16:15,599
Your parents drink?
339
00:16:15,683 --> 00:16:17,017
Uh-uh.
340
00:16:17,101 --> 00:16:18,310
They divorced?
341
00:16:18,394 --> 00:16:19,353
Nope.
342
00:16:19,436 --> 00:16:20,854
They beat on you?
343
00:16:20,938 --> 00:16:21,855
No.
344
00:16:21,939 --> 00:16:22,815
They beat on each other?
345
00:16:22,898 --> 00:16:24,525
No.
346
00:16:24,608 --> 00:16:26,151
Well, then what's your problem?
347
00:16:26,235 --> 00:16:29,822
Well, it started because
of a car they won't let me buy.
348
00:16:29,905 --> 00:16:32,032
Wait a second.
349
00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:37,037
You left home over a car?
350
00:16:37,121 --> 00:16:38,622
Well, it's more than just that.
351
00:16:38,706 --> 00:16:41,917
You know, they don't listen to me.
They treat me like a kid.
352
00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:44,586
They treat you like a kid.
353
00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:46,005
Come here.
354
00:16:49,299 --> 00:16:51,468
Look at yourself.
355
00:16:51,552 --> 00:16:53,303
You are a kid--
356
00:16:53,387 --> 00:16:56,306
the greatest thing in the world to be.
Enjoy it.
357
00:16:56,390 --> 00:16:59,268
Don't be in such a hurry to grow up.
358
00:17:02,438 --> 00:17:05,065
You left home, and you survived.
359
00:17:05,149 --> 00:17:08,527
I had to leave home
so that I could survive.
360
00:17:08,610 --> 00:17:10,029
And look at me.
361
00:17:10,112 --> 00:17:12,072
I'm surrounded by yes men
362
00:17:12,156 --> 00:17:14,116
and hangers-on and bodyguards.
363
00:17:14,199 --> 00:17:16,952
I have cars and money
364
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:19,705
and all the stuff that's supposed
to make you happy,
365
00:17:19,788 --> 00:17:21,957
but I don't have a family.
366
00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:25,711
I don't have a mom and dad
to love me and take care of me.
367
00:17:25,794 --> 00:17:28,130
I mean, what if something
does go wrong
368
00:17:28,213 --> 00:17:29,673
on that operating table?
369
00:17:29,757 --> 00:17:32,217
Who's going to really
be there for me?
370
00:17:32,301 --> 00:17:34,470
Me.
371
00:17:34,553 --> 00:17:36,472
I'll be there for you.
372
00:17:36,555 --> 00:17:38,015
I'll be your family.
373
00:17:40,934 --> 00:17:44,271
Cut it out.
You're going to make me cry.
374
00:17:47,816 --> 00:17:50,110
Give me a hug, will you?
375
00:17:58,786 --> 00:17:59,703
Well...
376
00:17:59,787 --> 00:18:00,746
Ahem.
377
00:18:02,039 --> 00:18:04,041
Well, where do we stand?
378
00:18:04,124 --> 00:18:05,542
Are we going ahead?
379
00:18:05,626 --> 00:18:07,461
We need to know.
380
00:18:07,544 --> 00:18:10,714
Is Dr. Howser gonna be
a part of this thing?
381
00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:13,842
He doesn't have to be.
382
00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:15,344
He better be.
383
00:18:15,427 --> 00:18:17,304
Well, then of course he will.
384
00:18:17,387 --> 00:18:18,430
Okay.
385
00:18:22,434 --> 00:18:24,103
Let's rock 'n' roll.
386
00:18:29,817 --> 00:18:31,860
Thanks.
387
00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:41,787
Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.
388
00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:48,252
Hey, who ate all
the Cho Cho bars?
389
00:18:48,335 --> 00:18:50,546
So how are you guys doing?
390
00:18:50,629 --> 00:18:54,758
I thought my shift
was never going to end.
391
00:18:56,552 --> 00:18:58,387
We better drink this milk up.
392
00:18:58,470 --> 00:18:59,930
It expires tomorrow.
393
00:19:02,474 --> 00:19:04,101
Rough day today.
394
00:19:04,184 --> 00:19:06,687
You know, it's gonna be great to hit
that pillow upstairs.
395
00:19:06,770 --> 00:19:08,438
There's one thing
about a shift--
396
00:19:08,522 --> 00:19:10,149
Pillow upstairs?
397
00:19:10,232 --> 00:19:12,526
Yeah, the one on my bed
in my room.
398
00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:16,905
Hold it, young man.
399
00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:19,408
Is this just a house call,
400
00:19:19,491 --> 00:19:21,910
or are you back for good?
401
00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:25,831
Well, you could say it's kind of
an extended house call.
402
00:19:25,914 --> 00:19:28,417
Are you prepared to live
by the house rules?
403
00:19:28,500 --> 00:19:31,503
I found out something.
404
00:19:31,587 --> 00:19:34,506
A 16-year-old needs
his mother and father,
405
00:19:34,590 --> 00:19:37,301
and a doctor, uh...
406
00:19:37,384 --> 00:19:39,803
needs his mother
and father, too.
407
00:19:39,887 --> 00:19:42,014
So you're back for good.
408
00:19:42,097 --> 00:19:44,516
Yeah. Yeah, I am.
409
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:47,644
Oh, I checked out the wagon
on the way in.
410
00:19:47,728 --> 00:19:49,855
A new coat of paint,
a nuclear sound system,
411
00:19:49,938 --> 00:19:51,565
that baby will be smoking.
412
00:19:51,648 --> 00:19:53,609
Well, I'm glad you think so.
413
00:19:54,776 --> 00:19:56,236
Well, I don't, really,
414
00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:58,864
but it'll do for now.
415
00:19:58,947 --> 00:20:00,574
Aren't you forgetting something?
416
00:20:00,657 --> 00:20:02,451
What?
417
00:20:02,534 --> 00:20:04,995
It's Monday night.
418
00:20:06,246 --> 00:20:07,623
Football.
419
00:20:07,706 --> 00:20:09,541
Close.
420
00:20:09,625 --> 00:20:11,293
Garbage.
421
00:20:11,376 --> 00:20:14,004
Oh, Dad, I hate taking out the--
422
00:20:16,715 --> 00:20:18,842
Okay, okay.
423
00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:31,188
(typing)
424
00:20:43,450 --> 00:20:45,077
Howser, what are you
doing here?
425
00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:46,745
I just beamed myself up.
426
00:20:46,828 --> 00:20:48,914
But you were out there over the wall.
427
00:20:48,997 --> 00:20:51,750
I had to come back, Vinnie.
428
00:20:51,833 --> 00:20:53,085
Why?
429
00:20:53,168 --> 00:20:55,170
'Cause I just missed you
so darn much.
430
00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:57,172
How about a big wet kiss?
Come here.
431
00:20:57,256 --> 00:20:58,924
Get away from me.
432
00:21:02,094 --> 00:21:03,971
So how's Charmagne?
433
00:21:04,054 --> 00:21:06,265
Fine.
Her operation was a complete success.
434
00:21:06,348 --> 00:21:07,266
Can you believe it, man?
435
00:21:07,349 --> 00:21:10,018
These fingers were 6 millimeters
from her heart.
436
00:21:10,102 --> 00:21:11,520
Maybe 7 away from her--
437
00:21:11,603 --> 00:21:13,438
Ruining my career.
438
00:21:13,522 --> 00:21:14,856
Hey, I'm sorry, man.
439
00:21:14,940 --> 00:21:16,316
I couldn't help myself.
440
00:21:18,277 --> 00:21:19,861
Hey, I almost forgot.
441
00:21:19,945 --> 00:21:21,363
I got you a present.
442
00:21:25,993 --> 00:21:27,828
Charmagne's nodule.
443
00:21:27,911 --> 00:21:29,454
Whoa!
444
00:21:29,538 --> 00:21:31,790
Hey, that's a good-sized nodule.
445
00:21:31,873 --> 00:21:32,916
Isn't it?
446
00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:34,459
How could she sing
447
00:21:34,543 --> 00:21:36,545
with that in her throat?
448
00:21:36,628 --> 00:21:39,423
Do you realize the value
of this nodule?
449
00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:46,596
Someday, this could be
in the Smithsonian.
450
00:21:50,058 --> 00:21:53,770
Ah, why leave it to those coots
at the Smithsonian, huh?
451
00:21:53,854 --> 00:21:56,398
Eww! Gross!
You're a geek.
452
00:21:56,481 --> 00:21:58,358
You been at that hospital too long.
453
00:22:01,778 --> 00:22:03,822
You pervert.
454
00:22:16,209 --> 00:22:17,252
(knock at door)
455
00:22:17,336 --> 00:22:18,253
Doogie?
456
00:22:18,337 --> 00:22:20,756
Oh, hi, Dad.
Want a raisin?
457
00:22:20,839 --> 00:22:22,257
No, thanks.
458
00:22:23,967 --> 00:22:26,386
I just wanted you to know
459
00:22:26,470 --> 00:22:29,848
that your mother and I missed you
and we're glad you're home.
460
00:22:29,931 --> 00:22:31,224
Me, too.
461
00:22:31,308 --> 00:22:33,477
Good night, son.
462
00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:35,187
Good night, Dad.
463
00:23:18,772 --> 00:23:21,400
(theme music playing)
51599
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