Original subtitles

[ Man ] Thanks, Iolaus. Be sure and get some for yourself.

[ Man #2 ] There must be a way for us to take the Golden Hind. There you go.

The gold in those horns and hooves-- it's worth a little risk.

[ Man #3 ] If you think going against the Hind and Ares is a little risk, go ahead.

I want no part of it.

Move over, Shorty! Ooh! "Shorty"?

You're the one the Hind shot.

He looks familiar, doesn't he? Yeah. He's the one.

Then he and Hercules whaled on us. That's right.

I think an apology's in order!

Let's hear it. Make it quick.

It's okay. I forgive you.

Guys, really, no hard feelings, huh?

[ Yelling ]

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- He said he forgives you. - I'm a forgiving kinda guy.

You see, I've, uh, known Iolaus a long, long time. He has.

And if he says he forgives you, well, he forgives you. See?

Oh, no! Whoa! Whoa!

Take it easy! Herc! Is this really necessary?

In a roundabout sort of way.

Sorry, Iolaus.

[ Yelling ]

That's gotta hurt.

Iolaus! I've got him. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[ Yelling ]

[ Splash ]

All's well that ends well. [ Chuckles ] [ Man ] Somebody, help me!

Looks like your arm's good as new. Yeah, thanks to Serena.

But two weeks' rest is enough. I want to head to Thessalia.

I'd like to stay a little longer.

You still wanna try and save the Hind? Forget it. She knows how to look after herself.

It's more complicated than that.

It's not the Hind. It's Serena.

[ Chuckles ] Maybe both.

[ Both ] We've prepared fruit for the altar.

Strife!

Have you seen Serena?

Yes, I have.

And?

Hey, don't shoot the messenger, okay?

I saw her with your brother Hercules. You might as well face it, Uncle.

She's starting to play you like a flute.

Don't push it. She's devoted to me.

Yeah, well, so was your other star pupil Xena, remember?

She left you standing.

And guess what? Hercules is doing it again.

That was different. Xena had a character flaw-- a small speck of morality.

He took advantage of it.

No. Serena is the Golden Hind.

She owes me her life, and I won't let her go.

Well, who would?

If her blood will really kill a god--

that means you've got the edge on all the gods on Olympus.

I-I wonder if it's really true, though. [ Chuckles ]

Don't even go there. I'm just curious, you know? I need something to do.

A project I can use my talents on, get my teeth into.

Don't let curiosity lead you into ambition.

You might not like where it takes you.

For now, keep an eye on this...

situation with Hercules and Serena.

You know I will. [ Giggles ]

- Oops. - Shoot first and ask questions later?

It's my Ares training.

Hmm, like I said, "Shoot first and ask questions later."

That is still a miracle to see.

When you're the last of your kind, sometimes a little miracle helps to survive.

I'm glad you've survived.

I need to talk to you. I know.

You've come to say good-bye. No, no.

Um...

I've come to ask you...

to marry me.

[ Man Narrating ] This is the story of a time long ago,

a time of myth and legend,

when the ancient gods were petty and cruel,

and they plagued mankind with suffering.

Only one man dared to challenge their power--

Hercules.

Hercules possessed a strength the world had never seen,

a strength surpassed only by the power of his heart.

He journeyed the earth, battling the minions of his wicked stepmother, Hera,

the all-powerful queen of the gods.

But wherever there was evil,

wherever an innocent would suffer,

there would be... Hercules.

- [ Screeching ] - [ Roaring ]

Hail!

I am flattered that you would consider marriage for us.

But it can never be and you know why.

What I know is that I love you.

And I love you, but I can't live in your world.

When a mortal touches me, I turn into the Hind. It would happen sooner or later.

It can work, Serena. We'll find a way.

Well, that would be a miracle, but I belong to Ares.

No, you belong to yourself.

He may have saved your life and taught you how to survive,

but one life can't belong to another.

Look, I know how you feel about him. He's told me of your jealousy.

[ Scoffs ] I am not jealous of him.

I resent him, yes, because he's the God of War.

Serena, you can't believe everything he tells you. Why would he lie to me?

Because he's Ares. He's using you.

With your blood, you're his weapon against all the other gods.

Look, I know what he is. But without him, I wouldn't even be here.

Fine.

Then tell him,

"Thank you, very much," and marry me.

I can't-- No.

Yes, you can.

Yes, you can.

Where's Hercules? Uh, he said he'd be here. He'll be here.

Well, come on. Let's try and hoist it anyway. Maybe we can surprise him.

Okay, pull!

This thing weighs a ton! Come on, get your backs into it!

Stand back. We're raising the tank! [ Man ] Excuse me.

Excuse me. Have you seen a guy named, uh, Hercules?

He's got his, uh, partner, uh, E-Ebole, Eyeball, uh, or, uh, what's-his-name?

Yeah, that'd be me. You're Hercules? You're Hercules?

I thought you'd be, uh, taller. No, I'm what's-his-name.

Oh. Well, I am, of course, Joxer the Magnificent.

Oh, Joxer the Magnificent. Yeah.

Never heard of ya.

Does the name Xena mean anything to you?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, her I know.

Oh. Well, you're only looking at her mentor, master and former trainer.

I wish I was looking at you on the end of this rope...

helping, pulling and not talking. Oh. Oh, right.

Well, you know, I figured, uh, Xena's kinda slow,

and I figured Herc's a little more my speed, you know?

[ Man ] What an idiot!

The Magnificent.

What am I to do with you?

Have I disappointed the great Ares?

No, no. I'm actually quite pleased.

I saw the way you handled Hercules--

refusing his proposal without saying no, stringin' him along.

It-- It just made my day.

I didn't say no because I wasn't sure of my feelings.

Now, I am.

Well, good.

Good. And now that that's over--

you and I-- oh, I have such plans.

No.

I've come to ask you for my freedom.

You really know how to make the moment, don't you?

Supposing I'm not in the mood to give it to you?

Then I'll take it.

You know I can. And I could do the same.

I could take you.

Your anger excites me. The possibilities the two of us--

You're not makin' this easy.

Then I have your permission?

Well, let's just say I'll give you a little leeway,

a little personal time so you can find out how boring my brother Hercules really is.

- I will always be grateful. - Don't be tiresome.

Maybe, it's just me-- I-I'm sure it is--

but you give her permission to hang with Hercules?

You misunderstand my gift to my brother.

You, uh, ever hear of the Trojan Horse?

[ Chuckles ] [ Laughing ]

[ Man ] We can do it! Here we go!

[ Grunting ]

Come on, you guys, pull!

There, see. It's 'cause I'm usin' both hands. So am I.

That's incredible!

I know I'm late. No, no, no, no, you're not late. We were just, uh, warming up.

Yeah. What is the matter with you?

Nothing. Ah. Serena, isn't it?

I know that face. That's the face of a man with woman trouble.

Never mind. She'll come back. Let's just finish this and get out of here.

Listen, can you tell me when this guy Hercules is gonna get here?

'Cause my hands are gettin' calloused. Uh, that'd be him.

That's Hercules? Mm-hmm.

I thought he'd be a little stronger. [ Chuckles ]

[ Boy ] Catch!

Serena. See? I told you she'd come back.

[ Wolf Whistle ] Hey. Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Got it? Yeah.

Kick it to me! Kick it to me!

[ Hercules ] Serena!

Uh, that's a nice catch. You too.

Thank you. You're welcome.

[ Serena ] Oh, they're having so much fun. Yeah.

I always wondered what it'd be like in the village. People living their lives.

I like it here. Hmm. Yeah. It's-It's dangerous for you to come here.

I thought it was worth the risk.

Right. Of course.

I wish I could change your mind.

You can't. Yeah.

I, um, had to give that back to you so you could give it to me at our wedding.

You mean, yes?

Yes? Ohh!

Isn't that sweet?

Oh, oh, uh!

Herc-- Hercules?

Oh, yeah, that's-that's Iolaus.

Uh, I'll be right back, okay? [ Iolaus ] Hercules!

Now, you did say, "Yes," right? Yes.

Uh, you know, when you're ready, but now would be good!

- This is so cool. -Herc-- Hercules!

She said yes! I told you it would work out-- What do you mean she said yes?

Well, she--

-[ Woman ] Help him! -[ Man ] Get a ladder!

Come on! Get a ladder and quick!

Okay, folks, just back on up.

Listen, this is no place for a lady. I-I'm a friend of Hercules.

You're a friend of Hercules. Yeah, everyone's a friend of the big fellas.

Well, look, we're all very busy here, so, folks, if you'd please, just back on up,

and we'll-- please-- well, just, step back-- No!

[ Man ] Come on! Serena?

[ Woman ] It's the Hind!

No! Wait, wait, wait, wait wait!

It's the Hind! Kill her!

Kill her before she kills us!

Leave her alone!

Serena! Come on! Hurry!

[ Man ] Get her! Be careful!

[ Bleating ]

Come on! Help us out here!

-Come on! Get up there! - Hurry up!

[ Hercules ] Leave her alone!

- That's better. - I got him.

Okay, okay! Go! Go! Go!

[ Hercules ] Serena, I'm coming!

Easy!

- Back off! - [ Gasping ]

If anyone wants to hurt her, they have to go through me! And me.

And me, your worst nightmare!

Don't worry, fellas. I'll take care of the crowd.

It's all right, Serena. It's over. No. This is impossible.

Go home, now. Joxer the Magnificent has everything under control.

Thanks for standing by me. Hey, we're friends. We don't need to thank each other.

Yeah. You better go.

Well.

Find Serena?

Yeah. Yeah, she's safe.

What happened back there?

Well, uh, when a mortal touches her, she becomes the Hind.

Hmm. How does she get back?

When the shock wears off, when she calms down, she can change at will.

Well, thanks for telling me earlier.

Iolaus, I meant to, but I wanted you to get to know her first.

Okay.

So, it's-- it's serious. Yeah.

And before, when you said that she said yes--

We're gonna get married.

You know, um, if you're happy, I'm happy. I--

I'm glad you found someone. But--

She belongs to Ares. No.

Did. We belong with each other now.

Okay.

Well, let me ask you a question, as your friend.

In all of this,

have you thought about what it is that you do-- that we do?

Yeah. I mean, nothing's changed.

We'll still be a team doing the same things.

It worked before. When I was with Deianeira, we used-- What?

Deianeira. I need to go to the other side and tell her.

Oh, come on, you know how dangerous that is. She deserves to know.

And I'll be fine. It's just--

When I get back, I want you to be the best man at the wedding.

Aw, Hercules.

Look, you getting married, it does change things.

Yeah, I should be your best man, but, if I'm honest,

I have a bad feeling about it.

And I don't think--

I'm gonna go on to Thessalia.

Oh.

Well, I hope you'll reconsider.

Yeah.

This is it.

The entrance to the other side? Yeah.

[ Sighs ] I'm worried for you. It'll be okay.

Look, I know this is the right thing for you to do, but what if--

what if, when you see Deianeira and the kids, you decide to stay?

I won't. I can't live in their world, and they can't live in mine.

Please, be careful.

I love you, Serena.

Nothing can keep me from coming back to you. I promise.

Hades! Hades!

Hades, this isn't the Elysian Fields.

You call this an omelet pan? For what, mice eggs?

You! We heard the Hind was here in the village.

Yeah, roadblock, where were you? Huh?

I was the one who saved the girl from the mob. [ Chuckles ]

Ooh!

Where is she?

Listen, you don't know who you're dealing with and a-- Whoo!

Didn't anyone ever tell you not to chew on your socks?

-[ Man ] He deserved that. -[ Man #2 ] Good one.

Leave him alone. Huh?

Look who's back. You don't have your partner with you this time.

I don't need Hercules. [ Muffled ] Because I'm here. Joxer the Magnificent!

[ Laughing ]

[ Man ] He doesn't know when to quit.

Listen, you--

I'll take you on one at a time or all of you at once! 'Cause that--

Get me out of this.

Oh, you. Good. Good.

I see my plan worked perfectly.

Yeah. Yeah, you're-- you're quite a boxer, Joxer.

Thanks, Iolaus, I--

I'll tell you another story about your father, all right? There was the time--

[ Continues, Indistinct ]

[ Barking ] Hey, come on! Come here, boy!

Dad's here! Daddy, you're home!

Ooh. Yes, I am.

This is so weird. I thought about you this morning.

I knew you were gonna be here, today. Oh! I missed you.

Me too.

Where's Aeson? He's down by the creek.

Well, go tell him that his father's here.

Mm-hmm.

Um-- [ Chuckles ]

Is something wrong? No, no, nothing's wrong. I--

Well-- Uh, I have to tell you something.

Well, you know you can tell me anything. What is it?

Uh, I know. I, uh-- What?

I just didn't think it would be this hard.

I've fallen in love.

Deianeira, I-- [ Klonus ] Help! Mom! Dad!

What is it? Aeson's gone. Someone took him.

I'll find him. I'll be right back!

Aeson!

Aeson! Aeson!

Leave me alone.

- What? - I'm not going anywhere with you.

- Aeson. - You don't care about me.

You don't care about any of us. You never did. We wouldn't have died if you cared.

Don't say that. I love all of you very much.

Right. You love us enough to go and marry somebody else.

Who filled your mind with these terrible thoughts?

You did. I hate you!

I wanna kill you.

Why are you saying these things? I would do anything for you.

Would you? I wonder. Would you give up Serena?

How do you know about Serena?

Never mind. I know.

You're not my son.

Strife. And Uncle Ares said you weren't with it.

Aeson! [ Aeson ] Dad! Help me!

I'm over here! Dad.

Aeson. I thought I'd lost you.

He tricked me. He said he was taking me to you.

It's all right. It's-It's over now.

I was so scared. I love you, Dad.

Uh. I know you do, son. I love you too.

[ Ares ] You're wasting time and twigs. He's not coming back.

He promised. Half-gods tell half-truths.

Then I'll go to him, to the other side.

If you wish, though you may find it a little crowded...

in the house of Deianeira.

It's not really any of your concern.

Well, one look at his real wife...

and, uh, that was it.

I don't believe you. Would I lie?

He never loved you. It was just a way to get at me.

Things can be as they were between us, Serena.

You can come home if you want to.

I'm willing to forgive and forget.

Deianeira, you don't think I still care about you?

What's happening to me now doesn't change our past.

Oh, it is not the past that I am worried about.

It's just that I don't want to lose you.

You won't. You never will. What do you mean I won't?

You found somebody else.

Oh, God, what did I expect?

I never meant to hurt you.

I just wanted you to know.

I appreciate that.

I know how dangerous it is for you to come over here. Why don't you just, um--

Why don't you just not make the journey again?

Uh, shall I tell the children?

No.

I'll tell them when I think they're ready.

Good-bye, Deianeira.

I, uh, I will always love you.

I'll always love you too.

Always.

I was so scared.

I'm back now.

Are you?

Yes.

Was it difficult?

It was.

She, uh--

The past is gone, for both of us.

Not quite.

Ares! Show yourself!

Come out and face me!

You are becoming a singular annoyance, brother.

Your treachery is limitless. Why have limits? They're so limiting.

Leave my family alone. That includes Serena.

We will be married. Don't interfere.

Why would I? I really don't think it's gonna happen, not given the cost.

Don't threaten me.

Surely, you didn't think the gods would smile on such a union.

I mean, what, mingle your blood with hers?

I think that gave them pause...

to contemplate what kind of powerful offspring that might produce.

If you have something to say, say it.

You might say I, uh, brokered a deal.

After all, the Hind does belong to me.

She belongs to no one.

To allow this marriage to take place,

the gods have decided that you must make a small sacrifice.

Nothing they demand would be too great.

They want you to surrender your strength,

your power.

Oh, I-I'm sorry. I thought you said that nothing was too great.

Zeus would never go along with this.

Oh, wouldn't he?

It wouldn't stop me from helping people.

You can't take my heart. Oh, that is a pity.

But I suspect your fervor to aid mankind might diminish once reality sets in.

So, what's it to be? You lose her, you lose your powers?

This is a limited-time offer. You need to choose now.

I choose Serena.

I win. No! I win.

Ooh! Nothin' like a brotherly embrace.

[ Yelling ]

[ Laughing ]

Now, listen, Iolaus, another side benefit is I'm an excellent cook.

How do you like your steak? Alone.

Listen, would you stop checking those ropes? I say on to Thessalia!

You know, fortune, fame and glory await us.

Yeah, good, go. Don't keep them waiting.

You know, you can quit looking for Hercules, 'cause he's not coming back.

I mean, even if he does, he's marrying, you know, Goatgirl or whatever.

Where are they gonna have the wedding, the chapel at the zoo?

Listen, I'm staying here till I know he's all right.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, he's fine. Don't worry about Herc.

He just made the good old-fashioned commute to the other side and back.

Excuse me while I fall down laughing. [ Laughs ]

- Hercules! -[ Laughing ]

I, uh, thought you were leaving.

Yeah, yeah, I am. I had to check the ropes and, uh-- They'll be okay.

Yeah. Good, good. Does this mean you'll stay for the wedding?

Wedding? Wedding?

[ Chuckling ] I don't think so.

Listen, you kids have a group hug and then my partner and I are going to Thessalia.

You and him? No. He is completely deluded.

What is it? My masculine ability?

My lightning-fast reflexes that you doubt?

Okay, fine, fine. A brief demonstration.

Joxer, don't bother. All right.

Okay, see that pole?

Forget it. Watch.

- Oh. -He cut the ropes!

Oops.

Wait here, sidekick.

Here, let me help. Give us a hand!

[ Man ] Tie it off! Tie it off!

What's wrong with you? You lifted that thing by yourself this morning.

My strength is gone. What?

Ares took it. How?

It was a decision of all the gods.

Even Zeus?

Well, how long is this gonna last?

From now on. Why?

Because I traded it!

It's for Serena.

For Serena?

Hercules, how do you expect to go on helping people...

if you've given away your powers?

The same way you do.

[ Ares ] Even more than I'll miss you serving at my temple,

I'll miss this vision of you running free.

- This was my home. - And now, a dreary hovel.

Living like a peasant, a life worse than death.

Whatever my life with Hercules holds,

I look forward to it.

Go to him then.

But you don't leave here as the Hind.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

You'll be mortal.

You'll experience sickness, you'll grow old, and you will die.

Like they say, "It's a wonderful life."

But I'm the last of my kind.

Your kind is extinct,

unless you wish to reconsider.

No. If that's what it takes, that's what I'll do.

True love-- how I despise it.

Yes. I will miss you.

So you're leaving.

How can you miss me if I don't go away?

Then you haven't changed your mind about the wedding? I can't.

Well, we, uh, had some wild times together.

We're wild guys.

We made a good team.

Yeah. We were.

Well.

Promise you'll visit. Little Iolaus will wanna know his namesake.

[ Chuckles ]

Yeah. I will.

Come on, Iolaus. Look, I'm gonna say this slowly.

There never was a partnership. It's all in your mind, what little there is of it.

You're gonna be sorry! What are you hangin' out with that loser for anyway?

I mean, hey, Hercules doesn't even have his power anymore.

Never ever speak of Hercules like that in my presence.

He is 10 times the man you will ever be.

Okay.

Well, great. Now he's your best buddy again. I wish you'd make up your mind.

I'm afraid the trees will have to be our witness.

They're family.

- Ready? - Yes, I am.

We ask the force-- Wait!

What is the rush?

I'm glad you're here. So am I.

I couldn't miss it.

This is-- It's the most important moment in your life.

That makes it the most important moment in my life.

Anyway, you can't get married without a best man.

[ All Chuckling ]

Shall we begin again? Yes.

We ask the force...

that created the sun, the earth,

the seas, and the skies--

To bless this union, make us one,

inseparate... always.

Always.

And everything is gonna be okay.

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