Original subtitles

Subtitled By: Mohamad Sanad

Madam, gentlemen

we are gathered here for the reading of the will of the late Bernard uni santi de parerga

I Bernardo de Parerga of Naples, Liberia, London and the world,

being of sound mind which I have proved by making

more money than a lot of you, care by bequeath to my only daughter Epiphania

all of my worldly goods

The conditions of which she may marry she knows

and have sworn to obey if she does not, may she be punished

And now that my money has officially passed into somebody else's hands

I can be considered truely dead.

The millionaire is dead

long live the millionairess

long live the millionairess

ـ Give that to me! - Epiphania you are not to open my letters!

- I'm not a child. - Shut up!

- I am your husband may i remind you and i may not allow it - What?

No Epiphania, please, do not

That is him.

-Fine, fine - No, no epiphania

That is her! - That is what you asked for !

- you rat - No, no, please don't

- Epiphania, what are you doing? - Thats is him.

ouch

Get out of here!

You! Oh!

And that's it

Get out!

Oh Daddy daddy.

Daddy

What troubles you Epiphania

Nothing, nothing.

Epiphania

Epiphania you are lying to me

No papa honestly no

Epiphania You have disobeyed me.

But how papa, why do you say such a thing ?

Epiphania Why did you marry this man.

he looked so exciting, so fascinating yes and he had a wonderful backhand.

But if he passed the test !

What did you say? - If he passed the test?

I thought that is what you said

That is exactly what i said

The test to which you have sworn to submit your future husband

hand him 500 pounds and marry him only if he had succeeded in

Turning it to fifteen thousand pounds within three months, if you do so

I did what you have told me to do I gave him 500 pounds

you gave him 500 pounds worth of shares

And three months later you bought the same shares for 15000 pounds

But the were worthy papa!

But what did he do?

Nothing, Epiphania you have sworn a solemn oath, and you have cheated on me

But I should have known we Parergas must always have what we want

and we go to any length to get it

What shall I do, tell me, what shall I do ?

You haven't changed my daughter you still over dramatize everything.

No father i am not worthy of an so honorable death

Was there anything else Madam

- Vanish - very goog Madam

Good morning!

Beautiful day for a swimm

I'm not swimming I am committing suicide.

Do you hear me I'm killing myself

Surely, good luck to you

assassin

Good morning!

To my lawyer.

please you will find enclosed our check in full payment of your account

For keeping Madam parerga's husband under observation, paragragh

I suppose only those who wait have a proper reverence for marriage

paragragh, that to continues, we are most grateful for the information that

you have been able to place at our disposal yours faithfully

The lady is not going to be very pleased about this.

Surely she hasn't heard already

I am going alright

Epiphania, i beg your pardon

The water is far too cold.

- What for Epiphania - drowning

you are quite right.

you must draw up my will Immediately - certainly Epiphania

Say that my husband's infidelity drove me to kill myself

You knew then !

read this sickly sentimental letter from his stupid little mistress..here

Then the rest of the evidence is corroborated

File proceedings against him.

Arrange an infallible way for me to commit suicide.

Oh!

Here it is.

What is this?

For the suicide.

Tell the chemist that the cyanide is for a hornet's nest

Tartaric acid is harmless put the two seperately in just enouhg

Water to dissolve them and you have pure hydrocyanic acid

One sip will kill you like a thunderbolt, it never fails

You take my death very coldly Julius sagamore

I am used to it my dear my practice has always been

Amongst the wealthiest pillars of the society

You mean so many of your kinds are driven to despair that you keep a description for them?

I do and it's infallible.

You are sure that they will die painlessly, and at once

No, they are all alive

what do you mean by giving me a description which is a fraud

On the contrary it is a deadly poison but they won't take it

I will and i hope you would be hanged for giving it to me

Impossible my dear since i am acting as your solicitor and giving you the advice you asked me for

i would be doing my best

In fact i will charge your executives 20 guineas

You are disgusting Sagamor you make money out of the death of your clients

It 's my profession, a big great deal of buisiness rising out

of your death Epiphania

So you expect me to kill myself merely to make money for you

Not if you use it to raise my expectations my dear

- Pink. - there, there, there the perscription will cure everything

Damn your prescription look what i do with your prescription..here

I told you that it was infallible and now that you have blown off steam

suppose my dear Epiphania that you sit down and tell me all about your little problem

My heart is broken and you you call it blowing off steam

what else would you call it ?

You are not a man you are an Englishman

How could my father had entrusted his legal business

to such a heartless blackguard

You may have put your finger on the very reason

Now please , please, sit down.

Oh Julius, Julius, how could I ever had done such a thing

After all it is an athlete first class tennis player

boxing blow of a fine record

Yes, and alike most handsome men he strips so well

- Please Epiphania - I am very susceptible to sexappeal

It is no legal bearing on the case.

How could I make such a stupid mistake

imagining this athlete would be a northern lover

All his passion was in his fist

our marriage has been a long succession of boxing matches.

And now the final blow, this stupid letter from this stupid woman

Blast him

I want to see, i want to see this little nothing prefers to me

I want to see her

- You are strong - I am with you

If that is jane wanting to borrow my home perm alphet again she is going to be very disappointed

- I know that knock anywhere.

It is not your home perm she is after

Yes

Was there something ?

Very suitable, yes

Very suitable setting

for your sorted little affair

Now look here Epiphania - that's right, strike me

Show your little mistress you are great knockout punch

Let her see how you treat women

- Coward - May i come in - Oh dear we have only three cups

Come in mr sagamore come in and see my husband's harem

I am warninig you Epiphania

Aren't you going to introduce me to your wife alistair

well Epiphania This is my.. - Tell her that i have no wish to meet her

I think alistair better go it is not nice for us

besides he is worn out poor darling

he hardly slept a wink all night

And how does she know that ?

You actually left me to spend the night in the arms of this miss..

- Smith, Polly Smith very pleased to meet you.

- Polly Smith - It was quite innocent

Was he in your arms or was he not ?

Yes in a way, for a while that is but not in the way you mean

I know exactly what she means

- He is a sexless fish - Alastair is not a fish.

No a jellyfish - one moment Epiphania

I really must protest that a breakout of a marriage is..

no light better

These two inferior people are very well suited for one another

Let's go Sagamore.

Do not be too upset about it it is not your fault you are so marvellous

no one can live with you

Is this creature insulting me

A nice ordinary fellow like alstair tries to live with someone marvellous

they just get completely eaten up

Are you trying to suggest that you can do something

that i can't do?

Well I can make alastair the happy can't i ?

What about the elephants in the mount valley

what about that ? - If you ask me very sick

- Is that the one where they both take a drink in water - Yes

Oh yes that is a very good one

See you in court.

Your will is ready my dear

Julius!

Why do you think she can make a man happy and i do not?

It is quite simple my dear you require a very exceptional kind of man

Yes

Do you think that i should have my nose cut?

My nose cut ?

I'm certain that it is not surgery you need my dear

Why don't you try Adrian Bland?

Adrian Bland!

I really think I ought to come more often.

Miss Thonks try and work Mrs. Willoughty

a few additional sessions - Yes

It is very difficult doctor but i will do my best

- Goodbye - I'll see you out

- Hi Adrian. - Sagamore I'm delighted to see you.

I think you met Madam Parerga.

- How do you do ? - Parerga!

This is indeed a privilege - Mrs. Parerga has one or two

trifling problem as which it might be possible for you to unravel for her

Nothing would give me a greater pleasure

I wish to make a man happy

Yes.. the female of our species can aspire to nothing higher ,if you can come this way

The usual commission - take 20% of all - Do not propose to baker

all the usual and.. - excellent one small suggestion

It is most inadvisable of the point of view of the parerga's estate

That she should be too concerned with finding a husband

I quite understand

shall i undress?

No, that would not be necessary.

But I would like you to lie down

Indeed, this is a more interesting approach .

I want you to tell me exactly what is in your mind?

... Elephants - Elephants!

Mice. - Mice what about them.

They can not live together.

Murier I do not like this at all.

What is it?

This bills from Dr. Bland. - I thought they where most moderate

That's what worries me.

Not at all like adrian bland to miss such an golden oppourtunity

I went for him with my fists on our first night of our honeymoon

with my fists oh he was so cold

He was unable to appreciate you you are well rid of him

I want to get rid of myself i want to punish myself

I should be punished for marrying a buck-rabbit

my dear Madam Parerga there is no need to feel guilt

because you are sexly deceptible

You are so sympathetic Dr. Bland.

So understanding.

Normally my dear Madam it is my profession to be

but with you it is a pleasure.

you find it interesting to hear me talk about myself.

To me Madam you are the most interesting woman in the world

But tell me more

Have i told you about my father?

Tell me again.

My father made me feel i was a princess

Offering any man hand and fortune if... - If what ?

If he could only pass a simple test

Then I spoiled it all by falling in love.

You was never to blame youeself for that

just because his tennis was outstanding

And i was so excited about physical contact with him

After all Adrian I am made of flesh and blood.

Yes you are you certainly are

You don't know what it feels like to be in the arms of a man,

And know that you could buy him up twenty times over

And never miss the price

If a man is not proud what difference does it make

splendid .. splendid, I am just very glad to hear that you are getting so..

well with the lady. - You may have to congratulate me

- Congratulate you ? - Yes, Congratulate me

And that pretty soon!

What? You mean to say that you have already get her rid of her oedipus complex

Or her father fixation that we call it..

No, not yet... - Well you are gonna have the chance

Not until you have replaced her father's image with your own surely, am i right?

Yes, yes of course you are

Perfectly Freudian perfectly Freudian Sagamor

I must break down her dependency upon this nostalgia for a deceased miserly old billionaire

I should have thought that would be easy for you

And from now on no holds barred Aiden

No holds barred, you can fly on me

Good luck

I hope that puts him out of the running

You let your nose drops behind last night Julius

Did i ? Almost you make me forget everything Muriel.

Subtitled By: Mohamad Sanad

Money is power, money is security

Money is freedom.

Money my dear Epiphania is nothing but a vulgar bull

- Delicious! - Have a few more lady

you know you love my Whelks - No Thank you

pay for my whelks will you Adrian

My father never spent more than ten shillings a day on himself

I think it is high time Epiphania that you realise..

when something is just wrong with your sense of values

- Now listen, through out your analysis.. - You like it?

Through out your analysis..

Epiphania

- Yes - You must listen to me!

Now through out your analysis you have hopped on nothing but your money and your father

Well, what else have i in my life..Nothing

You have nothing else because money and your father bulk so large

and you have no room - I am glad i wish for nothing else

But that is not truewhen you first came to me you asked me a simple question

Why am i unable to make a man happy ?

Yes, you still haven't answered me

Well now i am going to, you will never be happy you will never be able to love

Until you realise what a crushing dreary money-grubbing old bull your father was

Oh, what did you say ?

I'll repeat it you are suffering from a most acute father fixation

Upon a man who must be without any doubt at all the most appalling bull within humanity

I'm sorry to spoil your illusions but i am afraid it is necessary

Adrian

Yes

Come here Adrian

Come closer Adrian

That is for calling my father a bull

Epiphania, what on earth do you think you are doing

And that's...

for saying that my father was a dreary.

Help! Help! Help!

Help!

- Good afternoon I'm a doctor. - Hello, oh it is you again

The man who lets people drown

I hear a great disturbance i hasten to ascertain the cause

You appeared to be an agitated condition can i help you ?

- Yes you can - Help!

- Where are you going ? - There is a man drowning down there

- Help! - But no one has ever disobeyed me

Wait you must attend to me this is the second time you have let me to die

On neither occassion was there a serious possibility of it Madam

But, but you don't seem too understand

I'm ill and a very rich woman

Well in that case you will have no difficulty in finding an English doctor to send your bill

But, but I am liabeled to die at any moment .

Indeed we all are Madam it is our common disteny

Good afternoon!

Help me somebody

Oh hello! you have been having your little swim with your friend right here

Not exactly no this lady is somewhat wet

We are wondering if it is possible to use the amenities of your excellent establishment

yes go in it

- I'm telling you that I'm dying. - No, no, you have a natural affinity for water

but you are still not dying please go forward in here

- Little privacy in here - yes

-Over there - Here

Thanks.

- Eh - Yeh help yourself

- Here, Come . - Put it, put it on

You come at most interesting point, you wet

I think you will be very interested in this

Listen i will prepare to dye here this funky mixture

It will give them kippers with my experiments a successful

- Smoked salmon. - Most interesting!

After all why shouldn't i work as i enjoy from the humble kippers

with the big snobs pay premium prices for that Savoy

You are absolutely right my dear absolutely right

Couldn't agree more

Come, have a smell.

Beautiful smell beautiful, beautiful smell

Here is the skill sir.

One part cherry sawdust, two parts of salt ,

One elm and half a plum

- Half a plum - No more than half a plum

Are you in a great pain Madam ?

oh!

- Well i think i will make an examination - You are welcome my dear

there is no secrets between men and science

I'll show you the old process

Stand up Please stand up please.

- Oh I can't. - Where is the pain

Here doctor my shoulder. - she had to put more wood on the fire.

now the kippers would be down

smoked salmon they baked. yes smoked salmon

Nothing whatever the matter with it nothing whatever at all

It is my shoulder not yours.

I know but I'm not disputing the ownership of the shoulder

You know nothing about the machine that your soul inhabits

where as i am a skilled mechanic and i understand

Oh maybe it's my back, yes i'm sure it is

Maybe it is lie down

- Lie down - Lie down.

- Here. - Thank you.

- Oh here! - Here?

This is where it is hurting you ?

- No, no, no, everywhere. - yes i see

It is quite, quite beautiful.

What an entirely perfect trapezius you have here .

Quite gratifying quite gratifying

I am glad you pulled something about me

I don't think i have seen such a perfection as this Since i have performed

last February an autopsy on a drowned navy

- Navy ?! - Yes, 6 feet height in Haiti was a fine fine fellow

Yes he was

But i don't think that this back of yours would be injured by anything Madam

it is an excellent back quite excellent - I am ill.

Here doctor it is beginning to gold now

Try to look at my tongue

my tongue, yes - Oh right!

Show me your tongue

Nothing wrong with it

Put it away please.

Or feel my pulse.

Well i will but it will proove only what is already obvious

That you are alive and well

However, i will

Will i live ?

- Oh yes you will live - Yes ? - Yes

Most probably forever.

Then what is the matter with me

Absolutely nothing

Except of course that you are simulating, why? Do you wish to make yourself interesting ?

- I am interesting! - Anatomically you are beyond questioning

And the pulse, the most moving and unusual phenomenon

But are you interesting in any other way ?

I am the most interesting woman in the world.

For i am the richest

Epiphania uni Santi de Parerga.

- Aristocrat of Italy i presume - Even more Aristocratic

I am of the aristocracy of money

Ah well, that is a disease for which i do not prescribe

The only known cure is a revolution.

- Revolution in kipper and that what it is - That is what it is

But the mortality rate is high and sometimes if it is the wrong sort of revolution

It intefise the disease

Will you not try to cure me

Madam your sickness is beyond the reach of my skill

Besides this is my day for spiritual exercise and i do nowhere

Please reconsider.

No, no definitely not you see at such times i try to forget who i am

and where I am and I sink down deep into my soul. - Carry me down with you

It is as the wiseman put it an intermediary stage between being and non being

teach me non to be

Madam you know that you have seriously interrupted my thoughts

And your mind.

And now i will have to begin afresh.

Goodbye Madam. - But you must do something for me

Madam, I can not!

No, no, no, I'm only Dr. Ahmen Alkabir that is all i am

And I can do nothing for you Madam please, goodbye.

Wait!

Wait!

Oh, never mind love here, have a smell at this

He has the same color

That just won't be difficult madame because much of the property is mortgaged

Buy up all mortgages in the district

Buy up all mortgages in the district

Buy up all mortgages in the district

All mortgages bought up Madam

Foreclose wherever possible

Foreclose wherever possible

All mortgages foreclosed Madam

Take over all trading companies and liquidate

Take over all trading companies and liquidate

Take over and liquidate

Take over all trading companies and liquidate

All trading companies are taken over and liquidated

would there be any difficulty with lightermen and other workers

using the wards in the district

There is some suggestion that their unions may object

Arrange meetings with the leaders of the unions in question

Call jack.. - Show me trans-plan of the area.

What's that ?

- That is what i wanted to explain Madam - Well explain

That is Dr. Kabir's clinic

Is that not ours?

Dr. Kabir is the sole representative of the the kolkata trust

which owns and supports the clinic

The wretched man is unapproachable on the subject for the sale

I see, call Calcutta immediately! - Call Calcutta, immediately

let me, let me it is my time, no

ouch, let go

Look at her! - off it

Your little boy is next

Undress please sonny

Doctor!

Hello!

She is not my patient get dressed please

You are rude and insufferable.

But you inspire confidence as a doctor

Examine me thoroughly

Madam, if i examined all the ladys in who might inspire confidence

I should be exhausted within one week

Oh then reserve yourself exclusively for me

I have to reserve myself for the poor and useful people, now you can get dressed

Why can't i be your patient

Because there is a great deal to be done in this world without attending any

rich and imaginary invalid

I'm not any rich imaginary invalid

I'm a landlord.

Then you indeed have a great sickness

Really? what is it then?

Tell me - What it is in ? - Yes

What is it in ?

What the devil do you mean what is it in ?

You come stalking me in here as you are God's give to all hospitals

Telling me to reserve myself entirely for you

I can disregard of the meaning of everything but property

Go away, not you i am sorry

here, here, put this on now please.

I think you are a pig.

- Do you think i am a pig ? - Yes

May i tell you madam there is not one partical

of that particular animal in my constitution - Not one partical

Not one little particle. - Help me please

Please understand, what am i doing get this lady's car please

No, no, it has gone around the block

It would have returned already, it is a very small block, understand that please

I happen to own it yes doctor

All of it , including your clinic I am the owner of all this.

Are you indeed Madam ?

Of all this ?

But can you cure it ?

I can.

And I will !

Your work wil seriously reduced doctor.

It will, It will

You may become obsolete

Well i hope so

It would mean the world was healthy

Will you go back to India ?

Perhaps

lndia resists organization.

So i hope you will come to our opening tomorrow.

Thanks but I think not.

Oh but you must see my machines my, my equipment is superb

At least you will come and look come now

No, no, i think not i must try to stifle my envy

with sleep - But there are

There are still a few points unknown on local conditions

and I need your advice.

I am a little tired you know Madam.

Surely you wouldn't refuse to give us the benefit of your knowledge

all right

Oh thank you!

Bernardo uni santi de Parerga.

It is an amazing irony that he who made the people sick

for the sake of money should have his memory perpetuated

by having his money spent making a will again, huh

You see doctor, we can deal with 1000 patients per day

and we have 500 beds, come.

It will be a great benefit to the people

I am most glad, most glad

People must be planned into health doctor

That is certainly better than planning them into sickness

though i would prefer they left unplanned nevertheless it is good

Each patient is filed and electronically..

coded - Try also to remember their names

Excellent equipment isn't it doctor?

Yes, yes excellent

- I trust you have no objection if i.. - No, not at all ..please

Fiddle with a few things such a well equipped hospital

I'm glad you find it so

Really, everything is fine very fine

I must congratulate you.

And here we have all that you could ever need for your work

And .. we will do more good here than you will do in that hovel of yours

Doctor...

Yes well, It is undeniable that my means are most inadequate

Put it away please through here I have a few...

little novelties

What? what is that ?

- Would you mind if i... - Oh no!

- Do you think you could stand here - Me - Yes

- Where? - here

There ?

Yes behind there

there

It is alright i am a doctor Madam

of course

You are a psycological curiosity Madam

So, i am of some interest to you !

Of some medical interest yes

Wait

I have a proposition for you

I want you to take over the Parerga clinic.

Me ?

Yes my father always maintained at Socialists made perfect employees

Madam i can not

Why not !

Here is the power you long for why will you not accept it ?

Because you see, power, power must come from within

Otherwise it destroys, you see ? it nearly destroys

The power i offer you is.. the power to make the people well

So if i accept .. all this here will belong to me ?

It will

Or will i belong to it !?

Oh, you can only fool yourself

Madam, if i don't care for myself will i be able to care for others ?

If i am not free myself how can i make others free

Dr. Kabir!

Dr. Kabir!

This boy's mother is very ill i must go to her at once

you will excuse me - I quite understand.

Yes

What do you want? What is it ?

Ma'am is very ill you must come at once

Alright

Wait, wait there

- You say your mistress speaks very little English - very little !

Tell me when did...?

That sound i know

it reminds me of kippers.

What is the meaning of this trick ?

When I want something I use any trick to get it

This applys to anything you want ?

everything, anything - Everything and anything is nothing.

- Then you too are nothing - Thank you

you want the sun the moon and the stars you can't get them

No, no, no, no, I want only what i can get

I see, well, I'm glad to find that you are fit

and therefore not in need of my assistance

Good evening, I should say good morning it must be nearly 4:50 am

Good morning.

Good morning! wait.

What is it? - Wait!

Shall we dance?

- Shall we dance? - Yes

What on earth are you talking about shall we dance ?

Dance in my pajamas ?

It is much cosy let's dance.

Yes but we have no music

- Who needs music - Really i never had anything like this

Now be quiet and listen to me!

beshtttt

Tell me something - What do you want to be told ?

Is there nothing one can get with money except more money

Well..one can get.. most men..yes

But i don't want the men i can buy

It doesn't occur to you that those you can't buy, may not want you

No

Yes i think that you have got enormous self confident madam

-Yes - Yes, and what is more i'm standing on your dress

What is more .. I think you are apparently sexless

How dare you ! How dare you to say that i am sexless

Well..

I mean there is no mystery no separateness no sacredness about men to you

You talk as if you were a man

- A man? - Yes

Are you married ?

To science.

Science is impotent without money.

Take another wife !

Science is my bride !

I would not be jealous of her

Does the question of competition arise

Yes! I want to marry you.

I see.

What ?

Answer me

Not so simple to answer

I want you!

I think that you have wanted many toys, and when they were given to you

you have tossed them aside without even unrapping them

No, no, no, I really need you.

I find it most difficult to refuse

those who need

Then don't refuse

But i must..i have to refuse

But why? - Oh but.. well...

Because... because... of my mother.

Your mother?

Yes my mother, my mother, I... I have a..

a mother fixation

- Oh a mother fixation. - Yes, here is..

What was your mother?

A woman, ah..of course she was a woman she was a seamstress .. a widow

And would she have found any good objection to your marrying..a millionairess

Oh yes she would

definitely she would you see i made solemn, thank you..

promise to her on her deathbed - May i ?

Oh thank you very much

she made me swear to her that if ever a woman wanted to marry me

- And i felt tempted - And you do, you do

One moment please.

if ever a woman wanted to marry me

and i felt tempted - You do, you do

Would you please allow me to just say what i am trying to say - Alright

Thanks!

if ever a woman wanted to marry me and i felt tempted

I would hand to that woman 500 rupees and i would say to her, unless

that she could go out into the world, alone and unneeded, with nothing but that and the clothes that she stood in

and earn her living

for a period of three months

then i must never speak to her again

- And if she stood the test - Then i would have to marry her

Even if she were the ugliest ever on earth

Or the most beautiful?

Or the most beautiful ! yes

- Thank you - It is alright

You know that this incense you have got..is very strong

Oh it is affecting

I would have to go because people are waiting for me

bag

People where....

where ..

I must open my clinic you understand

And I must open.. mine

would you please go to your appropiate desk

that would be on your left.

Name of mother name of father father's occupation

mother's occupation name, age

Name of father name of mother

Father's occupation mother's occupation

name, age name of father name of mother

father's occupation, mother's occupation

name, age, name, age

sex - What, i have had enough Annie, I've had enough

so have i

Yes i am going back to dr Kabir

He knows.. he is right

Did you ever see him asking you about sex

What should i tell them

Or you!

- Bye bye - Thank you very much

I think we are waisting our time giving him embrocation

he keeps on drinking it

Fortunately we are very rich in embrocation

Would there be anything else doctor ?

Oh, no, no, thank you no

Well, goodnight doctor. - Good night nurse

Doctor!

- It is that lady again - What ?

The one with the clinic -what ?

Oh, oh dear

Doctor! Doctor!

- Yes - Doctor !

I have decided to accept the test.

Yes, what test was that dear lady

Your mother's

- My mother's, yes

She was a very wise woman my mother

I have decided to accept her challenge you see she had something

in common with my father he also left a test

for a husband work with me

- Oh so the husband is to be tested too - yes

Ah,well no, that is something that never occured to me or my mother

I am to give the man in question 500 pounds and in three months he has to increase it

Into 15000

15000?

That is a lot of money

A lot of money

Well, i can tell you one thing for sure that if i were the man in question

You are the man in question

- Please, just allow me to say what i want to say - yes

if i were the man in question.. ah at the end of three month

i would not have one penny left

So you consider yourself beaten before you start

Oh yes completely hopelessly

- So you both beaten - yes

you don't know what is homeless poverty i don't know what is the profit motive

So... - How much is 500 rupees?

- You are asking me how much is that ? - Yes i am asking you how much is 500 rupees

Well I... well, I think that the rate of exchange contemplated by

my mother it's probably about 35 shillings

Well, hand it over

- What ? - Yes

Ah, ah, you see, my mother forgot to provide for such a thing as that

i haven't got 35 shillings - it doesn't matter, you can owe it to me

I just happen to have 5oo pounds with me

How strange!

Dear lady, look please may i tell you, i have no head for money

In that case, you are having no risk if you accept my father's test are you ?

But..dear lad..

I do not want to do a test !

most great and glorious, is this another of that terrible jokes

hmm this, but don't do this for me please please not to me

Oh Mommy, Mommy.

Epiphania, my dear child now please please listen to me and try to concentrate

What i really want to point out is..you owe

you owe a duty to the estate

and the estate involves millions of money

very well, may i remind you - No darling, i don't want this thank you

i will see this one

Epiphania

May I remind you that you also have a a duty to your father's memory

Oh but my father would approve

You like it? you know how he started with twenty lira

And a compromising letter from his employer's wife

I'm only repeating history

And you don't intend to use blackmail i trust

Yes i shall use whatever is necessary 35 shillings, the clothes that i stand up in

and yes if i have to.. blackmail

see you in three months time sapamore

Epiphania is a penniless indian doctor really worth all this ?

I'm not proving he is worth but my own

Vanish please? Thank you!

You get out, and don't show your face again

i want only girls who work

Work? i call it slavery - Don't you, comeback.

Don't you come back

I can get girls plenty of good girls

Good girls! you wouldn't know what to do with

that good girl

Hey you you

are you the manager of this place

- Yes, yes i am - Good !

Who are you?

If you need a girl i need a job

- You need a job - Ah Ah

You don't look like a girl who needs a job

I do

- Good - alright

Just come to my office and we talk it over nice and quietly

Why do you stop work work, work all of you

That work is not for you not for those pretty hands

May be i could think of something something more..

Ah Maria, you come at the right moment

So i see.

My wife, always comes at the right moment

- What does she want ? - Work

With a hat like that she don't know what we can offer

She is not going to work with her hat Maria

Can you cut tagliatelle - certainly she can

- can't you ? - No!

But spaghetti at least you can make ?

No, no!

Listen, we are making pasta for all italians in london

what other work you think you would do here

And you listen to me you are employing more girls

here than the law permits

She is an inspector! you bloody old fool, she is an inspector

Oh no! - I'm not an inspector,

but in there, there is a gas engine that makes you a workshop

so... - So i am a workshop - I can have you closed down just like that

Oh no! You can not do that to me. thirty years ago i come to london

i work, i work i own shop i own children

Ah, i own wife.

you can't take that from me

can't i ?

Ah, how much do you want ?

I do not want money, I want work

But what can you do?

Brain work, managing, planning that's what

What we need managing planning brains for ?

every day Benito comes with his lorry and he pays for what we make

he delivers the wholesaler it is simple

Simple.

Why don't you deal direct with the wholesalers ?

- How do i know the wholesaler ! - Yes how ?

That's where i come in i'll arrange it, and i'll take 50% of the extra profit i make for you

How can we lose ?

We can lose !

The intelligent capitalist need never lose

Now let me see the production figures for the last month

come on, come on

As you see there is no need to get into a state about it

you do not drink this, you rub it in now that's clear, isn't it

Every night, because you see if you are to drink it, you wouldn't have..

any leftovers to rub it in you understand it ? good

this says; please take one as you leave .. go on

No, no, thank you, Doctor. Good night Miss.

Good night!

You see he did not take one - I am afraid he didn't doctor

Why is it that people wouldn't take what is given to them

Perhaps they feel you have given them enough already

I tell you that woman that woman is a menace to humanity

So what do you say ?

What do I say? it's not efficient it must go

But my family has always speak to the dough this way

That's why your family were always poor

there is a machine to this kind of work

But i like the girls better than the machine

Yes i know you do Joe ! we will get the machine

Yes we get the machine

How's production this week? - should be up another 16%

Good, good.

Any complaints from the workers ? - complaints i should think not

With time enough overtime, the canteen and the recreation..no fingers !

I tell you something these girls aren't gonna develop the character we had when we was girls

See Joe? the workers are satisfied

We pay them the union's minimum and our profits increase

That is true that is very true

And you Joe you had a fine house now

I do

And your children they go to a good school

Yes, true.

And instead of being a hated sweatshop owner

you are now a respectable employer or labor

Yes, it is true i am

So why do you look so sad ?

I do not enjoy it like i used to.

What do you mean ?

No more adventure no more danger, no more pleasure !

Come on joe, if we carry on like this you will be able to retire soon

back to Naples.

Yes, i get myself a vineyard i just sit and think and think and sit !

and sit and think

money

What are you selling ?

I am not selling anything.

i am giving money away

- You want some ? - Yeah !

Get your money here

Do not you want it ?

You see my Joe they are put on 20 girls

and after the capital expenditure only a few shillings a week in electricity.

Very good, very good.

In three months my Joe the operation is completed

First we let the workers unionise give them higher raise

and little rest more then we get over the means of distribution

and cut out the middle man finally on increased profit that we make

we install machines and replace the workers

you see ? Simple!

Oh how beautiful industry is

senora Epiphania

senora Epiphania..

I would like to sell out my interest

You want to go back to Napels, heh Joe ?

No! But will you buy my interest

Of course, of course it will be a lot of money for you Joe

But if you don't go back to Naples what will you do ?

I tell you, i find myself a little basement somewhere in London

i start a nice little sweatshop

Some are simply not made for leadership and progress

Right but you know i like to work with people

not machines in a sweatshop is nice

with plenty girls around you arrogance, trouble

eh, it is nice

you don't mind senora Epiphania

Me ? oh No, no

Do as you wish

I have completed my task

As I explained to you from the outset my dear lady there is no reasonable

Possibility whatsoever of me succeeding in

Any commercial venture of any kind i want to make that quite clear from the beginning

So please, i..i..i don't want to argue besides, the time for the test

Has elapsed

You see, has elapsed and the money

Here's your money, take it away thank you very much for lending it to me

But I do not want it.

That is, that is what i should say to her

Yes after all she is not dealing with nobody

She is dealing with.. somebody

Ah, the Institute of Scientific learning did you hear that the Institute of Scientific learning request the pleasure and the company

Pleasure and the company of Dr,Mousa Ahmad Alkabir

Md Calcutta PHD Delhi MRC is reading

MCH swanage, PA can't have

At this annual dinner to be held at Romanos.

You see my dear lady that is who you are dealing with

You are dealing with a man who goes to Romanos

For annual dinners.

May i say that it is my firm nay, my unalterable conviction

That the day will come when the good shall rule the strong

When learning shall rule over ignorance

And when men of science will hold sway over princes and millionaires

Have some wine

some more brandy - No, no, look i've had

more than i shouldn't

And believe me i shouldn't have anything

look son you are a grown man now you are no longer a shy young student

if you want to be a man drink up like a man

Well, It's all your fault

I'll drink and blame you

Did you hear what he said?

The good should rule the strong..idiocy

More likely the lamb shall eat the lion

Nevertheless, it is a good sentiment

Sentiment is all it is

Men of science hold sway over millionaires

Stuff and nonsense

Professor, do you think it is possible for a man of learning

To oppose the wishes of a millionairess ?

He will be a dumb fool if he does

Look at me, her life devoted to pain killing another damn thing in the back

Now if i had devoted my ingenuity

To devising a more efficient method for exterminating mankind, i'd be rich in the red

Drink up son, drink up

This is his brandy might as well make the best of it before the mean old goat notices us

A fortune made out of removing unnecessary organs

from unnecessary wealthy women

professor, professor i think that it is not impossible

That a man of learning could, should and what is more will do definitely

That is, that is..that is what i think

What are you talking about?

I am talking about the millionairess

But, I am safe, I am safe.

You are safe ?

Because .. you want to know ?

My mother is looking after me

Let's drink up and get out of here

I have heard enough traps up to the same time next year

To princes and millionaires

Nevertheless you know she is very beautiful

I am so glad that i confided in you professor

You are a good boy you have nothing to be afraid of

All you have to do is to hand me over the money

And i will make sure it puts you no good use whatsoever

Why, why, why are you so good to me professor

It's all..oh look that is her

That .. we must hide. - Look all we have to do is

to give me the money

Hide, hide that is the millionairess

Is she the millionairess

Oh that's her

- It is her - Well she can't frighten me

I'll take on any millionairess as she allow me

No, no, we must go in the back way

Millionairess..

Oh dear, that was a close shave

Tell me boy the money, where is it

- Science is waiting her throught is dry - Science throat is dry

I haven't had Brandy like that in twenty years

- Here it is - Good

And and and ... and may i say

That i'm proud that i have been able to contribute

to your research - yeah, i'm proud, proud too

To think, just to think that i i'm willing, would have been

the instrument of bringing to bed the cure for common cold

Quite, quite

Three pounds a bottle that will give me about a hundred and fifty bottles

You see to, to be of some benefit to mankind is all that i ask

That is all i am asking

150 bottles, you know that should see me out times 76 you know

Oh my dear old friend and teacher you will live forever

God bless your heart

You will you will

You are only proud of me i haven't tasted any wine in twenty years

Live for ever

150... 160 bottles.

Goodbye my son. - Goodbye and God bless you .

You just drop your anchor there i will find me way home

Yes..now I'm ready for you

Here he is.

I hope your mother will rest in peace.

I hope that your father will too

I have done all that your mother wanted

And more.

You mean that you have actually attempted this impossible test ?

Oh yes, i can show you an accountant certificate to prove that i have

It is alright, i'll take your word for it you are a remarkable woman

I take the word as i find it and i know how to use it

To use it yes

But the wrath of God shall overtake those

who leave this world no better than they found it

But the evidence suggests that he loves those who make money

Riches are a curse and also poverty is a curse

And is this..what ever it is i feel for you

Is that also a curse ?

This talk is idle

You have fulfilled the condition imposed by my mother

But I, I have not fulfilled the condition imposed by your father

Oh but there is still time I can show you how to turn it into

15000 pounds before dawn, stock exchanges is

in other capitals are all ready to work, we have no problem

But we have

Not if you want to pass the test

And you do

My desires do not come into this

The money has gone.

Oh no! You can not have spent it all.

Let me have whatever you have left and i'll make it work for you

It is all gone

But you live on nothing

there must be some of it left

No. No there is not a penny

Why?

Because i gave it all away

You gave it away ?

All of it

You gave away the chance to have me

Yes, yes i gave away the chance...

to have you

I tried to buy you once i was wrong

Now it is you were wrong

You're too small to accept a free gift.

A free gift.

myself !

I Epiphania Uni Santi de Parerga of Naples Liberia London and the world

Being of sound mind which i can prove by making more money than a lot of you

Hereby bequeath all my wordly goods

to the order of Epiphania

What is this order of Epiphania ?

As far as i understand it it is an exclusively feminine community

open to all women who wish to exchange a life of conflict

with the male species

for, for one of contemplation

no sound health there

Madam Parerga will retire to a monastery in Tibet

There, surrounded by women of i beg your pardon..ladies of the order

she will spend the rest of her life attempting to..

contact the infinite by..

by sinking deep within herself

The monks are at this moment being evicted

Gentlemen i have done all i can to urge madam Parerga

to reconsider her decision but she has vowed

She has vowed that after this day's midnight she will hold no

communication with any living man

Silence!

Before you gentlemen are relieved

of your directorships i wish to thank you formally

There will be reception this evening you will all attend, that is all i have to say

- Epiphania - Yes

How can you throw all these innocent people out of work

Think of the hardships you will impose and these helpless directors

how can they make a living now?

Let each be given 35 shillings and the clothes he stands up in

I think i should look for anothe job Julius

Why? Don't be hasty Muriel.

Muriel, what did the detective's report say ?

She makes any excuse to see the Indian doctor

Look, Julius, I've waited 8 years - The Indian doctor ?

The Indian doctor!

We can handle him ! Yes i think he'd be the perfect husband for madam Parerga

But the report my sir is quite clear that he has failed the test

Eh? Why did i ever persuad you Muriel

to put that stupid condition

Goodbye Julius

Mu ... Muriel give me till midnight

Well, till midnight then Julius

Eh, you are dr Kabir ?

Yes, how do you do ? - How do you do ?

What can i do for you ?

I am told that you are something of a saint

The drunken old man that wrote these papers is one, but not i

But you devote yourself to the poor...

you work for the good of man for nothing and you live alone

Turning your back on all women

Yes i think that you are the saint i am looking for

At all events i have no wife

It is my duty to acquant you with certain details

in the will of one Bernardo Uni Santi de Parerga

Sir, would you please spare me anymore of the postmortem complications

of that dreadful man

But I have no authority but to do so sir

You have gained the unique distinction of rejecting

the richest woman on the world and thereby also gained

another Parerga will a considerable fortune

I'm utterly sick and tired I'm utterly sick and tired of being

the unconsidered object of the caprices of the Parerga family, do you hear me

But dear sir i have to tell you that the 28 associated companies of Parerga's

patent medicines now pass entirely under your control

confound you sir, blast you and your monstrous devilish debt employer with you

do you hear me ? blast you sir

Do you know that i would rather i'd rather sell the contents of these papers

than i would accept such a sickening such a sickening inheritance of the..

Patent medicine monopoly

That too can be arranged

Well sir i don't intend to accept

I will tell madam Parerga that she can give this absured inheritance

of her to any charity she pleases

Come in sir and tell her

Oh yes i'll tell her i'll tell her tomorrow

If you leave it until tomorrow, there will be the most tragic consequences for all of us

Tragic - for all of us!

What do you mean ?

I mean sir that she has vowed to quit the world at midnight

You don't mean

oh yes i do

Holy fire and self destructive woman

I must go to her immediately

exactely

I will go now

To take my final leave of the world

It's almost midnight.

Kabir!

Quickly, quickly Kabir, quickly !

Go on man

well Julius.

One moment my love and I think we will be all safely provided for

Now where is Karere ?

Ah Karere we are.. we are buying these patents and it is 30000

Common cold cure, cancer antivirus looks like a bargain.

Yes, well you make a check for 15,000

to Dr. Kabir.

K a b i r. - Yes mr.Sagamor

And the remaining 15,000 to you i suppose

No, no, no to Miss Muriel piokington.. piokington

p i o k i n g t o n

Epiphania, Epiphania Please don't jump

I am not jumping

Then what are you doing perched up there

I am sinking deep down within my soul

Oh Epiphania oh no don't jump come down from there

Oh i tell you i was so oh

What is it ? What is it ?

I can't stand heights

Epiphania. - Honey.

I can't stand heights

I have fallen in love with your pulse

Will i live?

Yes

Probably forever.

But also i love you

I love you as a woman.

Not as a goddess.

besides, you..you look so stupid in this silly hat

It is not a hat it is the order of Epiphania

Who is that, what it is

I rather thought it might be the Eiffel tower

Oh what are you doing with my Eiffel Tower? hand me my order.

I am putting it away - Oh no!

- There, i have just put it away - Oh, "jao, jao"

What is that what do you mean "jiao, jiao"

From now on you'll "jiao" as i say

Jiao, jiao

One, two, three

Subtitled By: Mohamad Sanad