Original subtitles

Now, Geoff, I recommend at least one balloon per guest.

But I'll let you in on a secret.

You can't have too many balloons.

Doot!

This is top-notch stuff, Molly.

(chuckles) Yeah, I know.

- (yawns) - Scratch!

You ready for the big day?

Is it Fajita Friday already?

Ha! You're messing with me.

Tonight's my big party.

Oh. Right.

I totally remembered that.

Wouldn't be the same without my BFF, huh?

(laughs)

Got a space saved for you on the dance floor.

Okay, see you tonight.

(mumbles) Yeah...

Oh, I'm so jealous you get to go.

I want all the deets. Oh! You should take notes.

Let me get you a notepad that doubles as a party hat

so you don't look too obvious.

Okay. It is definitely too early for this.

I need a pick-me-up.

Oh.

(indistinct chattering)

- The chairman! - After you, Sir.

- Please go ahead. - Oh. Why, thanks.

Well, don't mind if I do.

Oh. Sorry.

Looks like someone else is a fan

of the cookie frightaccino with extra whipped screams.

(shrieks)

Mr. Chairman, Sir, take this one.

It's extra cookies. On the house.

Thanks. Man, being chairman has some perks, huh?

I don't think we've officially met.

I'm Jeff, with a J.

You coming to the big party tonight at the Haughty Haunts?

Everyone who's anyone will be there.

The best of the best.

(echoing) The best of the best.

An exclusive party, and you're inviting me?

I mean, uh, yeah, of course you would, obviously.

I'm the chairman now. I will be there.

Terrific. See you tonight.

Yeah.

Did he say tonight?

Yeah, my big party is tonight.

And I want your stand to be the first thing Scratch sees.

(laughs) Oh!

Here he comes. Hide.

I want it to be a surprise.

- Hey! - (coughs)

What's up, buddy?

Nothing churro-related to see here.

Yeah, about your party.

Maybe you should do it another night.

You know, on Friday everyone's tired from work,

so you get there late.

But you also kind of want to leave early,

which is really awkward for the host.

I see what's going on here.

Uh, you do?

You're nervous about the party.

You know, because everyone thinks

you're grumpy and unpleasant.

- Oh. - You don't need to worry,

because friends stick together.

Great.

- Moll! I need your advice. - Ah!

(gasps)

Do you know how long

I've been waiting for you to say those words?

Hit me with anything!

Okay, so I have this, uh, friend,

and this friend has two parties to go to on the same night.

The first one is gonna be spectacular.

Exclusive venue, lots of important guests.

The kind this friend of mine was never invited to before.

- Aw! - But if I--

Uh, my friend doesn't go to the other party,

the host's feelings could get hurt.

Easy peasy McGeesy.

Your friend should go to whichever event

they committed to first.

But what if they really,

really want to go to the other thing

without hurting their friend's feelings?

Well, the book says the only acceptable excuse

is being sick...

Fake sick, huh?

That's interesting.

Nobody said fake. Don't purposefully misinterpret

the wisdom of the Friendship Handbook.

Scratch!

Hope you put on your dancing shoes.

(chuckles) And dancing legs.

- (groans) - (gasps)

You're the friend!

How did I not see this?

God! Shh! Shh! Shh!

Geoff!

(coughing and sobbing)

I'm so sorry.

I can't make it to your party.

I'm... I'm sick.

(sneezes)

Ghost-undheit, Scratch.

Oh, I really wanted you to be there,

but the most important thing is you get better.

Mwah.

(groans)

You used my advice against sweet, sweet Geoff?

First of all, there's never "a friend."

You should know this by now.

Second, Geoff's never gonna find out,

because you wouldn't tell him

and hurt his feelings, now would you, Miss McGee?

It's a friendship paradox!

Oh! Fine!

But I am doing this for Geoff, not for you!

But you're still doing it, right?

Yes.

Don't wait up.

(dance music blaring)

Scratch!

You made it.

Okay, so, dance floor there.

Never-ending buffet there.

And that is also the buffet over there.

I'm sure you know Cleopatra, Abe Lincoln, Brian.

Hey.

Oh, and there's Jinx.

Jinx! Meet the chairman.

- Jinx? - Oh, we've met, actually.

Sorry about that whole "hunting your friend" thing.

You weren't the chairman then.

But, uh, now you are, so--

Oh, you been working out?

Hitting the gym, big guy?

Well, I consider my body a temple--

Ooh! Is that room-temperature bologna?

Excuse me, I got to do the rounds.

Bleh, host duties, am I right?

Hank Richards!

Dude, I didn't know you were dead!

Wild night, huh?

And to think I almost went to Geoff's party instead.

Uh, dude, you are at Jeff's party.

(screams)

Sorry, G-E-O-F-F's party.

He's my best friend, but come on.

You don't say no to a shindig like this.

Hey.

No, I guess you don't.

Not like it matters.

Geoff's at his party,

probably not even thinking about me.

I was at my party,

but I couldn't stop thinking about Scratch.

I brought him soup.

Oh, that is so nice of you.

But, Scratch, he's, uh...

He's asleep!

And when he sneezes, it's just ectoplasm everywhere.

Why don't I give this to Scratch as soon as he gets back--

Wakes up! Okay?

All right, but make sure he knows how much I treasure him.

Goodbye, you angel.

You'd better be having a really good time.

I'm having a really good time!

(dance music blaring)

(laughing) Whoa!

Ah!

"G" Geoff? What is he doing here?

Oh, no.

I hope he doesn't see you. That'd be so bad.

I bet when I didn't show,

he canceled his party and came here instead.

Wow, your best friend was really counting on you,

and you let him down, didn't you?

Oh. Yeah.

Well, there's only one thing to do, right?

- Hope he doesn't see you. - (laughs nervously) Whew!

I thought you were gonna say fess up and tell him the truth.

I like this better. Cover me!

(funky music playing)

♪ I got to be low-key ♪

♪ I got to be low-key ♪

♪ I got to keep out of view Of you-know-who ♪

♪ So you shrink and you slip Into the cheese fondue ♪

♪ You trying everything To stay out of sight ♪

- ♪ But... ♪ - SCRATCH: Ow!

This does not taste right.

♪ Next, you hide ♪

♪ In the fried hors d'oeuvres ♪

- Egg rolls? - Oh, sure.

♪ You just got served ♪

♪ Pass the blueberry pie A la mode ♪

♪ Moving fast 'Cause you can ♪

Maybe one for the road.

♪ You don't want to leave ♪

♪ But you can't be seen ♪

- Shh. - ♪ You got to be low-key ♪

♪ So you're hiding inside The fog machine ♪

♪ You got to be low-key ♪

♪ Cruel and uncouth Avoiding the truth ♪

♪ Annoying the crew In the DJ booth ♪

Begone, peasant.

♪ You got to move cautiously ♪

- Keep an eye out for Geoff. - You can count on me.

♪ If you can stay undetected Then you'll be fine ♪

♪ But you just redirected The conga line ♪

♪ And if he sees you His heart will be torn ♪

♪ Into thousands of pieces ♪

Oh, look. Little pizzas.

♪ You don't want to leave But you can't be seen ♪

♪ You got to be low-key ♪

♪ Getting thirds On the lobster Florentine ♪

- Uh-oh. - ♪ You got to be low-key ♪

♪ Risking a friend Over whole goat cheese ♪

♪ You got to be low-key ♪

♪ If he doesn't know I'm here Does it really count as mean? ♪

- Shh! - ♪ You got to be low-key ♪

- (dance music playing) - (indistinct chattering)

Ah! Lost him.

I really love these churros.

They're so crispy, yet so soft.

GEOFF: Scratch?

Geoff? "G" Geoff.

I can explain, brother.

Oh! You had a miracle recovery and made it to my party.

Wait. What? Your party?

This is Jeff's party.

"J" Jeff, not you Geoff.

Yeah, it's our party.

Jeff is my afterlife partner.

Wait, you and him?

(stammering)

Oh, I know. I get your confusion.

But Jeff spells it with a J,

while I spell it G-E--

I know how you spell it!

But how did I not know you two were together?

No idea.

You're at our anniversary party.

Whoa.

Yeah, I do not know how I missed that.

Geoff. Jeff.

(laughs) This blowout was the best.

You knew and you didn't tell me?

That's for what you did to the chairman.

The real chairman.

Jinx out!

My soup must've cured

your spontaneous illness, huh, buddy?

You brought me soup? You're a good friend, Geoff.

Better than I deserve.

I...

Oh, I wasn't sick.

I faked it to get out of your party.

But you're at my party.

Keep up, pal.

Yeah, but I didn't know that.

When Jeff, that Jeff, invited me--

Well, this will shock you.

I haven't always been very popular.

And it felt nice to be one of the best of the best.

I'm sorry, Geoff.

Oh, buddy, I can't blame you for wanting to hang out with Jeff.

I mean, he's so awesome,

I'm spending the rest of my afterlife with him.

Now, come on, let's party.

Geoff may forgive you,

but you're not off the hook with me, pal.

If you ever hurt my angelic Geoff again,

You'll answer to me!

Got it. Yes, Sir.

Now let's have a good time!

(dance music blaring)

- (all cheering) - Yeah!

Whew! What a night.

I tell you what, I'm gonna sleep like the dead.

Ah, hey, Scratch, I've updated the handbook,

so now it clearly states

you should have gone to Geoff's party.

I did, but Geoff's party was actually Jeff's party,

so it all worked out in the end.

- Night night! - What?

♪ The Ghost and Molly McGee ♪