Original subtitles

- Hi, I'm Patrick Star!

And I live with my parents! Ow!

This is my dad.

- [slurping]

- This is my mom!

[giggles]

This is my sister! She's shy.

This is my grandpa.

This is my room!

And this...

this is my show!

[upbeat music]

[upbeat horn music]

- Hey, everyone!

Are you ready to see something really crazy?

Ooh.

Hup. Don't try this at home, kids.

[inhales]

[cannon booms]

[thrilling music]

* *

Stuperific!

[ding]

* *

- Ahh!

[engine revving]

- Cold as ice.

[grunts]

This gonna go boom.

See, told ya.

The tour-dumb-force that you just witlessed

was sponsored by Star Brand Pickles! [giggles]

These things are so good, I'm gonna eat one now!

[giggles]

[straining]

[grunting]

[screams]

[crack]

- [screams]

OMG!

- Ahh! Medic!

Medic! Ahh!

[siren wails]

- Umm--

Oh, boy.

I better find Patrick a stunt double.

We can't lose that pickle sponsorship.

- Did someone say pickles?

- Yeah, sorry, Grandpat.

You can have a pickle as soon as I find

a big, strong sea star who can open that jar.

- Ah, fiddle faddle!

I'll open it myself.

[laughs, munches]

- Well, I guess the stunt man search is over.

With the same clothes on,

you guys might as well be twins.

But we're gonna have to lose that facial hair.

- Hold my beard!

- Perfect!

Okay, here's the deal:

from this moment on, whenever this air horn blows--

[blows horn]

Grandpat will swap places with Patrick.

Now, let's test it out

with Patrick's classic coconut comedy bit.

- I want a coconut! I want a coconut!

I want a coconut!

[struggling efforts]

- [blows horn]

[blows horn] - Uh!

- [blows horn]

- Didn't feel nothin'.

- Mmm, coco-nutty.

[audience laughs]

- This is gonna work out great!

Onto the next segment.

announcer: It's time for...

[crowd cheering]

[rock music]

- Yay! Death Match!

Today, I'm going toe-to-toe

against Bare Knuckles the sea bear!

- [growls, roars]

- Sea bear? Hmm.

Hey, look over there! It's Mermaid Man!

- Where?

- Uh-huh.

- I didn't see him.

- Aw, too bad.

[ding]

- Wish me luck.

- Okay, get ready.

- [growls]

- This is gonna be quite a match, folks.

Patrick Star versus a ferocious sea bear.

- To a clean, fair fight.

- [roars]

- Oops!

- [screams]

Ohh!

- Ooh, not a good start for Patrick Star.

- Oh, dang it!

- Ohh! Sea bear in for a taffy pull.

- Oh, oh, oh!

- [roars]

[crowd exclaims]

- Oh! Sea bear's tearing him to shreds.

- [groans]

- Is that even possible?

Ooh! That's gotta hurt!

- [struggling efforts]

- [growls]

- He's slicing Patrick Star to ribbons!

- Uh! [groans]

- [blows horn]

Grandpat! - [snoring]

- Are you kidding me?

- Folks, this is brutal.

But what's this?

- [yawns] [lullaby music]

- Sea bear seems to be getting tired.

- [blows horn] - Ohh! Huh! [panting]

- Sea bear is falling asleep.

- [yawns] - He's slowly going down.

He's kissing the canvas. [crowd exclaims]

In a major upset, the winner is...

Patrick Star! - Hey! Hey, hey! Eee!

- I owe it all to my stunt double.

[grunts]

- Onto the cooking segment!

- Hey, everybody, it's cheese sandwich time!

- I think Patrick can handle this one on his own.

I'm gonna take five.

- Who doesn't enjoy a delicious cheese sandwich?

You got your bread, you got your cheese,

you got your cheese, you got your cheese,

you got your cheese,

you got your cheese, you got your cheese,

you got your bread.

Ta-da! You got yourself a sandwich!

Ahh!

- [blows horn]

Oh! - Just doin' my job, sonny.

Ahh! [munches]

Mmm! Let's make another, shall we?

Cheese, cheese, cheese, cheese, cheese, cheese, cheese!

- [sighs]

I wanted some cheese.

Maybe just a slice.

all: Happy birthday, Patrick!

- [giggles]

Oh, boy! Oh, boy! Oh, boy!

[giggles]

[inhales]

[air horn blares]

- Ah, ah, ah! Fire's dangerous.

Better let your stunt double handle this wish.

[blows horn] [laughs]

- Oh, uh! Uhh!

Hmph!

Ohh, hey!

Maybe I'll get my birthday wish after all.

[inhales]

- I already used it on this big, old ice cream cone!

[munches, spits]

[slurps]

[burps]

That's the stuff.

- Happy birthday, son.

We love you. - Aww!

- Bunny's baby!

all: * For he's a jolly good fellow *

* For he's a jolly good fellow *

- Fine. Take my wish.

Take my gifts. I don't care.

I'm going to bed.

Yah! Hup!

[dreamy music] [sighs]

[horn blares] Ahh!

Huh!

- Might wake up with a crick in your neck.

- [grumbles]

[grunts]

Fine! Take my bed!

I don't care!

- [snoring]

- I'll just sleep on...

this pile of jagged, rusty scrap metal.

[metal clanging]

- Uh. Perfect.

- [snoring]

- Hmm. [metal clanging]

Sleep okay, Patrick?

- Not really.

- Well, just take it easy today

'cause your stunt double has got it covered.

- Huh?

- Welcome, everybody, to "The Patrick Show,"

with your host, me, the one and only Patrick Star!

- I'd know Patrick anywhere,

and that's him. - Oh, yes, that's Patrick.

- Uh-huh, that's him. - Yup! That's Patrick!

- That's definitely him. - Never looked better.

- That's Patrick Star, right there.

- That's so Patrick. - I've seen him before.

That's the guy.

- Let's start today's program

with my classic coconuts comedy bit.

[clears throat]

I want a coconut! I want a coconut!

I want a coconut!

I want a coconut! - Wow, this seems dangerous.

[echoing] Dangerous, dangerous. - Ooh.

- I want a coconut! I want a coconut!

[air horn blares]

Huh? Who broke my classic coconut comedy bit?

- Sorry, sir. Better let me take care of this.

- I'm the stunt double. [blows horn]

- And I'm the stunt triple. [blows horn]

- Ahh, hooey!

- Nope, sorry.

He's right. Union rules.

Stunt doubles need stunt triples.

- Well, we can't have two stunt folk.

- I totally agree!

And the only way to settle it is...

a stunt-off!

[cannons boom]

- Leave the stuntin' to the real stunt man, sonny.

[blows horn] Yee-haw!

- [grumbles]

- [laughs]

Ohh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

[air horn blares]

[casual music]

- Sorry, folks.

We'll have this smear sorted in just a minute.

[grunts]

Here's your problem.

You got this cheap, imitation Patrick.

- [screams] - Ally oop!

[screams]

Ain't nothin' like the real McBoy.

Wah-hoo! [air horn blares]

Ahh!

- [laughs]

Huh? [air horn blares]

[screams]

[air horn blares] Huh!

Yah!

[struggling efforts, horns blaring]

- Ahh!

- [groaning]

Hmm?

Uh, where am I?

- What happened?

- Oh, you're here, too?

Wait. Where are you?

- I'm right here. Where are you?

[both scream]

- [sighs] Today's show sponsored

by Star brand pickles.

Snap a pickle, not your wrist.

[both screaming]

[upbeat music]

* *

- Why you!

- What'd I do?

- [laughs]

[stomach rumbles]

Pipe down, tummy.

I wanna see how this ends.

[rumbles]

Oh, man. Come on!

Uh! [rumbles]

[shushing]

It's okay.

Daddy will get you some food.

[humming]

[hissing] Ah!

- Close the door, ya idjit!

Yer lettin' all the warm, rotten air out!

- Uh! [stomach rumbles]

I guess the stomach wants what the stomach wants.

[grunts]

Ahh. [munches]

[groans] Mmm.

That hit the spot.

And just in time. My show's starting!

[rumbles]

If you've got a toilet, spoil it!

Oh, you! [laughs]

[stomach rumbling] Ohh! Ahh! Ohh!

- Oh my gosh! Patrick! - [groans]

- Where does it hurt?

Let me get you an ambulance.

- Forget the ambulance!

Squidina, this is the perfect segyoo

to our home wellness segment.

[kazoo music]

The next time you have tummy troubles,

try abominable surgery.

Nurse Squidina, if you sneeze.

Huh, ah, ah. [revving chainsaw]

[dramatic music]

- Thank you!

All right, folks.

Now let's see what all this bellyachin's about, hmm?

[humming]

Hello!

[grunts]

- Ooh! - Whoa!

- What's the big idea, shoving this into me?

You may like eatin' trash,

but I ain't no dumpster.

Yah. Huh, ah.

And I'm tired of being treated like one.

We all are!

Come on, organs! [snaps]

Heart! - Whoo-hoo!

- [grunts] - Intestines!

- [farts]

- Lungs! [both inhaling]

- You... - Called?

- My inners are now my outers.

Huh. So what?

What's the worst that can happen to me without organs?

[grunts]

- We don't need that useless bag of skin.

There's a whole world out there.

Let's go check it out.

* We are organs now we're free *

all: * All without a PhD *

- Oh, well. At least I still have my brain.

- Hello? [echoing]

Is anyone gonna come get me?

[wind gusting]

- Whoa! Whoa!

Yeah! [laughs]

I'm as free as the wind.

Wah-ha!

Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

[munching]

This is the life.

- Hot dog! A free parachute!

- Oh! Ah-hoo-hoo-hoo! - [laughs]

- From here on out, my life is gonna be smooth sailing.

[screams]

Gee, I hope my organs are having fun.

- [screams]

[groans]

[giggles]

[thrilling music]

[laughter]

- Man, this is livin'. Too bad I can't see

where I'm goin'. - Ahh! My leg!

[all exclaim]

- [farts]

- Oh, quit whining.

That's what bumpers are for.

- Whoo-hoo!

I feel so alive right now!

See how much fun we can have without Patrick?

What do we do next? What do we do next?

- Ooh!

[air horn blaring] [club music pounding]

- Now that's more like it!

- Man, am I glad to be home.

- Well, darn it. What happened to that rag?

- [groans]

- Oh, there you are.

- [grunting]

- All right, you dirty pipes,

you've had this coming for a long time.

- [exclaims]

[blubbering]

What's happening?

- [humming]

- Oh! Ah!

[grunting]

- [grunts] And now it's time

to clean the toilets. [giggles]

- Maybe life without organs isn't so fun.

Nope. Nuh-uh. No.

How am I gonna find something to replace my organs?

[munches]

[blender whirring] [laughs] Oh, this works.

[gurgling]

[munches]

Now I can keep my food warm after I eated it.

[beep]

[blender whirring]

More organs!

[munching]

[thumping heavily]

- Honey, have you seen the TV?

[dramatic music]

- [groans]

- Oh, oh, ho!

Son, have you been working out?

- Oh, my handsome man is even handsomer.

What's your secret?

- Oh, you know.

Just replaced my insides with random household items.

[accordion plays] - Ooh! [laughs]

- Hyep, I think I'm gonna take this new handsome figure

out for stroll.

See ya later. [clattering]

both: I want a handsome figure, too!

[both munching]

[air horn blaring] [club music pounding]

[excited chatter]

- Oh, yeah! Yeah.

- [farting rhythmically]

- Yeah, move them bowels!

- Excuse me, folks.

You all look like you know how to party.

How's about I take you to the VIP lounge,

where the real party is?

- Oh, we're down to party, right, gang?

- [farts] - Excellent.

Follow me.

[chuckles] Right this way.

- Gee, th-this VIP room is so d-dark and c-c-cold.

[all exclaim] [gasping]

[dramatic musical stings]

- Wha-what is this place?

- [laughs evilly]

Welcome to the deli!

all: A Butcher?

[all panting]

[all grunt]

- There's no escape! [laughs]

all: Patrick!

[thunder booms]

[disco music]

* *

- * La la la la la la la *

[snap] Aw, barnacles!

- I got you covered.

[whirring]

[shimmering tone]

- Gee, thanks, handsome mister.

- Uh! Oh, no.

[hair dryer whirring] [lips flapping]

Wow, I'm all dry.

Thank you, sir.

- Now there goes a swell guy.

[crows cheering] - Genuine beefcake!

[printer crackling]

- Huh?

Hey, I'm getting a foot fax.

Wha?

A new sandwich shop just opened!

Just in time.

All this love and attention sure works up an appletite.

[exciting music]

[tires squealing] Yah-hoo-hoo-hoo!

- [playing harmonica]

We never... - Should have...

- Left Patrick. [whimpering]

- Oh, what I wouldn't do to be in his warm embrace again.

[whimpers] - [sighs] Me too, Heart.

Me too. [door opens]

[both gasp]

- Lunchtime!

- It's Patrick!

- Has he been working out?

- We gotta get his attention.

- What'll it be, sir?

Plenty o' meats to peruse.

- Here! Here, here, here! [all clamoring]

Patrick, here! - Hmm. Hmm? Ooh.

Oh! It's what I've been looking for this whole time!

Potato chips!

- What?

Ignore us, will ya?

- Oh!

both: Ohh!

[explosion booms] [organs screaming]

- Uh! [groans]

- Organs, assemble!

[all exclaim]

- Meat zombie!

[screaming]

all: Patrick, come back! We're sorry!

- Ahh! Ohh! [blubbering]

[crashes]

[groans]

[cans rattling] Huh?

[screams]

Ohh! [clang]

[struggling]

- Organs, disassemble!

Don't you recognize us, Patrick?

We're your vital organs.

- We wanna come back.

- No way!

I like my new body and my new life.

Everybody loves me, and you guys sure don't.

- Patrick, look, we need to have a heart-to-heart.

- Yeah, you complete us.

And admitting that-- [inhales sharply]

takes a lot of guts.

- [whimpering]

I couldn't have said it better myself.

[gurgling]

Ahh!

[gulps]

There ain't no body like my old body.

You know, stomach, I think I learned something today.

A wise man once said--

[crash]

Now I definitely need new organs.

[upbeat music]

* *

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0