Original subtitles

- Hi, I'm Patrick Star, and I live with my parents.

Ow!

This is my dad.

This is my mom. [laughs]

This is my sister.

She's shy.

This is my grandpa.

This is my room.

And this...

this is my show!

- Pearl what's taking so long?

- Oh, I can't decide. Which tutu? Orange or green?

Okay, both.

Swallowing swords.

I can't find my sousaphone.

Better bring these instead.

Now, where did I put my possessed ventriloquist dummy?

- [snickering]

- Oh, no, you don't.

- No. I don't want to--hey, is that a sword? Ouch!

- Pearl, let's go.

I'm already late for me game day with GrandPat.

And me loot sack is getting hungry.

I'm gonna feed you all me winnings.

- [barks, panting] - Oh.

Hee-hee-hee. Oh!

- [panting] Daddy, let's go.

I'm late for my big debut.

- [groaning]

[upbeat music]

[all cheering]

- Oh, no, they started without me.

- Mm. [doorbell rings]

- About time you showed up, Krabs.

You know why the navy is always late?

They gotta wait for the tides to wash them ashore.

[laughs]

- [groans] You marines are a department

of the navy, you know.

- Yeah, the men's department,

[laughs]

- Excuse me, your wall of lame is in my way.

- Bring up camera three, and start the music cue

in three, two, one.

Ahh!

- Squidina, thanks so much for inviting me

to be on Patrick's show. I'm so excited!

- Of course. I hope you're ready.

As soon as he's done with his bit you're on.

- Baby wants his baba.

- [grunting]

- Aha!

Ooh!

[gulping]

[belches]

Ha-ha! Heh-heh-heh-heh.

- Today I'm going to be a star.

- Oh. [laughs]

Thank you.

- Okay, Pearl. You've got 30 seconds to fill

while Patrick changes his costume.

- [grunting] - Huh?

- [grunting]

- Okay, maybe 45 seconds.

Ladies and gentlemen,

making her big "Patrick Show" debut,

it's Pearl.

- [gulps]

Heh-heh-heh. Heh.

Heh-heh, heh-heh.

Catch.

- Boring. - [yawns]

- Ouch! Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch.

Ahhh! Ouch! Ahh!

[all gasping]

- Bonjour. [all cheering]

- [sobbing]

Squidina, I don't think they liked me.

- That was pretty terrible. Don't worry.

When Patrick is done you'll have another chance to fail,

I mean, bail. I mean, wow them.

- [sobbing]

- Hmm.

You got any swabbies? - Get sunk.

- [groaning]

- You know, back in the service

I didn't have time for silly games.

Why, once I took out a whole nest

of enemy soldiers all on my own.

Ahh! - Uh?

Argh!

Hiyah!

Ha.

[explosions]

- Nest of soldiers? More like a nest of urchins I'll bet.

- Ooh.

Oh-oh-oh, ow!

- Besides, that ain't nothing compared to the time

I took out three battleships single-clawed-edly.

[grunting]

[cannon booms]

Whoo-hoo!

Wow!

Oh! Oh! Hey! Wow!

Navy!

- Hogwash.

The only ships you ever sank were your baby bath toys.

- [groans]

- You got any yeomen? - Get sunk.

- Heh-heh. Three bosuns and a skipper.

That's a full poop deck, Krabs.

- Oh, sorry, old man.

Five admirals. I win.

[laughs]

- That's not fair.

I ain't finished with you yet, you whippersnapper.

We're playing another game. Double or nothing.

- We fold in the egg whites,

add a dash of nutmeg, and voil�.

That's how you rotate the tires on your boat.

[cheers and applause]

[laughing]

- Okay Pearl, you're up again.

- Ooh-ooh-ooh!

What if it doesn't go well?

- We just gotta get back on that seahorse.

Now break a leg. Preferably not your own.

- Ehh...

[upbeat funky music]

Uh-heh-heh.

[together] Huh?

- Ahh! Ahh!

- [yawns]

- Oh, no.

I'm losing them again. Better kick it up a notch.

Mm, yah!

Ahh-ahh! Ugh!

Augh! Ahh!

Ugh! [groans]

- I see you went for the big finish.

[all groaning]

- Well, at least it ended tragically.

- [grunting]

The yard is all set up for a game of Shuffle Stuff.

You do remember how to play don't you, Krabs?

- Of course, I do.

Anything you hit in the hole you keep.

- Good. I was worried all that bobbing

up and down on navy boats rattled your brains to bits.

- Bah. I suffered more than rough seas in the navy.

I got this bad boy

fighting off a pirate boarding party near Malta.

- Oh, yeah? Well, I got these charging up Octopus Hill.

- Ha! Baby stuff.

I got this battling Bobbit worms in open waters.

Heh-heh-heh.

Hee-hee, I win again. Thanks for playing, G.P.

- Wait. That can't be it.

One more game, Krabs. Double or nothing.

- [sobbing]

- [grunts]

- Oh Squidina, I thought I was gonna be a star,

but they won't even remember me enough to hate me.

- Oh, don't worry.

They'll probably remember you enough for that.

[grunts]

- [chuckling]

[crowd oohing]

- Tada!

Ahh!

[cheers and applause]

- Ah-ha-ha! Ooh!

- Oh. That's your cue.

I know you can do it this time, Pearl.

You're a star.

- All right. I guess I can humiliate myself

one more time for the show.

[microphone feedback] - ? Ohhh ?

[both murmuring indistinctly]

[together] Huh?

- ? I'm a blue whale ?

? Here to share my sad whale tale ?

- Hoo-hoo-hoo, what a haul. Ohh.

- ? When things go all wrong, nothing to do ?

? But sing a sad whale song ?

Ahh!

? This is a sad song, not a glad song ?

? A feeling bad, kind of mad, not so rad song ?

? When things have gone wrong, I have just one song ?

? A song for days that are so bad ?

? The worst days that you've ever had ?

- Whoo-hoo. That's my girl.

- Take all my stuff, will you?

Hey, Krabs.

The next game's called Catch the Piano.

Double or nothing.

Ahh!

Heh-heh.

Uh-oh. Ahh!

- ? A stubbed my snow song, a fell in snow song ?

? An out of dough, full of woe, eating crow song ?

? A bloody song, a muddy clothes song ?

? A feel new lows, ruined shows, guess I froze song ?

- ? Yes, she's a sad whale ?

- ? I am ? - ? Can you not tell? ?

- ? I can ?

- ? She just wanted to perform for you ?

? Now she feels like she might spew ?

- Blech!

both: ? When you feel down, you got a big frown ?

? And you can't face anyone from your hometown ?

? Yes, when you feel frail and you wanna bail ?

? Don't hit the trail, just inhale ?

? Pull back your veil ?

? And sing your sad blue whale song ?

[laughter]

- Thank you. Thank you very much.

- Yah! Whoo-hoo-hoo!

Huh? - Ahh!

- [coughing]

Ohh!

Ehh...

talk about bombing big time.

[sobbing]

- Oh, what a catastrophic ending.

- Ooh! Yeah! Yeah!

- Pearl! Pearl! Pearl!

[all shouting]

- Pearly girl, you were amazing.

I never knew you had the pipes.

- You really liked my song, Daddy?

- Every second of it.

Right up until I got pulverized by the piano.

- Congratulations, Pearl. You are a star.

- Yeah. You should be on tomorrow's show too.

- Huh? - Hmm?

- Maybe we'll call you when the set's rebuilt.

- I can't wait.

- One more game, Krabs. Double or nothing.

Ha-ha! - [groaning]

[dramatic music]

- And so ends BB TV's

"Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy" ten-day marathon.

[both muttering]

- How many times have we watched and rewound this now?

- Uh, approximately

1,374 and 5 times.

- Ooh.

That's all?

- Wouldn't it be great to go back in time

and experience "Mermaid Man

and "Barnacle Boy" when they were brand-new?

- Yeah. I wish we had a time closet.

- Huh?

Patrick, you do have a time closet.

What are we waiting for?

- What are we waiting for?

W-waiting...for...

[babbling]

- Hold that thought.

- There. This should be far enough back in time to see

"Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy's" first adventure.

- Ahh! - [roars]

- We went too far back!

- I'll save you, SpongeBob.

[panty]

Argh!

Ow!

- Wow. What is this place.

"Super Child Daycare,

a preschool for future superheroes."

Hmm. - Superheroes?

Heh-heh! Heh-heh! - Hmm.

[gasps] Ooh.

Oh, thank Neptune you're here.

Thank you. Thank you. - Um...

- I called for you guys days ago.

I thought relief would never come.

So the day's agenda is on the clipboard,

snacks are in the kitchen,

and here's the keys to the panic room just in case.

I'll be back in a few.. hours-ish.

Ah-ha-ha!

[both gasp]

- [babbling]

both: Super babies.

- Eee! Ooh!

- Thank you!

- SpongeBob? Is that...

- It is.

- It's Man Ray as a baby!

- Wuv!

- And that over there.

- It's the Dirty Bubble as a baby bubble.

The Dirty Baby Bubble.

Do you think it's possible?

- [gasps] There!

- Ebol!

[babbling]

- Patrick, we went back in time to when Mermaid Man and

Barnacle Boy themselves were new.

Not their adventures,

both: This will be the best job ever!

- Hmm. According to this schedule...

- It's calisthenics time.

- Good thing too. Some of these super babies

could sure burn off some energy.

- [babbling]

- Ahh! - Whoa!

[babies babbling]

Everybody ready? All right, Patrick.

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!

- Okay, kids, let's touch our toes.

Here we go. Down and up. Down and up.

- [babbling]

- [babbling]

- [babbling]

[both grunting]

- All right.

Time for jumping jacks.

Let's go.

[all babbling]

- Ooh!

Oh! Ooh!

[all babbling]

- [panting]

- [babbling]

- [panting]

- [grunting]

- Ohh! Ohh! Ahh!

- [babbling]

- Ohh. - Oh.

Ebol.

- Heh-heh.

Okay, children, time now for storytime-time.

- A juice box for you,

and one for you,

and one...

[slurping]

For baby Ray.

- Huh?

- Today we have an extra-special storytime,

because today our story comes to us from the future.

[all gasp]

Ohh.

[sniffs]

Ahh, pulpy.

Get ready for "Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy

in the Good Guy League versus the Bad Guy Society."

[all gasp]

The good guys are Mermaid Man, Barnacle Boy, Rubber Bandy,

and Go Woman. The bad guys are Man Ray,

the Dirty Bubble, the Coral Creep, and Exo Woman.

[together] Wha?

"It was midnight in Civil City, and the bad guys

"were breaking into the Yummy Tummy Cupcake Factory.

"A stick of dynamite and...

[all cackling]

Oh...

- Ohh.

- [grunting]

Augh!

[cackling]

[all cackling]

- Barnacle boy?

- Ha-ha! - Rubber Bandy?

- Ha-ha! - Go Woman?

[all grunting]

Karang. Crack.

And so the Good Guy League beat the Bad Guys

and tossed them into a frozen prison in outer space.

The end.

- Ohh. - Hmm?

- Ebol? - [babbling]

- Hey. This was in mint condition.

Or at least very good slash fine.

[all sobbing]

- Hey, hey, hey.

Superheroes and supervillains don't cry.

They battle.

- [babbles]

- [groans]

Now you're getting it! Baby superhero fight!

- No, Patrick. They could get hurt.

- SpongeBob, they're super babies.

They can't get hurt.

Wouldn't it be great

if they could do an adventure like in the comics?

Oh, I know! They could do this adventure!

Ha-ha-ha!

Okay, inside this kitchen are all the cupcakes.

The bad babies led by me will break in and steal the snacks.

The good babies led by you will try to stop us.

It will be their very first adventure.

- Ooh.

- [grunts]

Ahh! - Ha-ha-ha!

[all shout]

[all babbling]

- Hold it right there, bad babies.

Your infantile crime wave is over.

Ahh! Oh!

- Wah! Wah! Wah!

- [shouts]

[both gasp]

- [babbling] - Oh! Ow! Oh! Ow!

- Ahh-ahh-ahh!

- [shouting]

- Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! Ahh!

Wahh!

- Ahh!

[belches]

both: Huh?

- [babbling]

- [grunting]

- Oh! Oh! Augh!

[groaning]

- This is the greatest thing that's ever happened

in the world of great things happening.

- [humming]

[gasps]

Great Neptune's navel!

- [grunting]

[all shouting]

- Hmph.

[inhales]

[whistle blows]

- That's better. Oh, children, what's wrong?

[all grumbling]

- Thanks, mister. This was the best lives of our day.

- Really. You just can't imagine what this means to us.

- Well, I know what it means to me.

It means you've completely undone all my hard work

trying to teach these kids to get along!

[all shouting]

- You're welcome.

both: Ahh! - And stay out.

- Later in the present...

- Ahh, just think, Patrick,

if it weren't for us the Good Guys and the Bad Guys

would've never realized they're supposed to fight each other.

- Yeah, that's right.

- We... - Would...

- Have... - Never...

- Fought... - With...

- Each Other. We would've joined a circus

or a freak show or something cool like that.

- Instead, thanks to you, we're stuck fighting forever.

- Ehh... - Um...

you're welcome?

- Uh, Patrick, even though we love "Mermaid Man

and Barnacle Boy" more than anything in the whole world,

I think we should run!

- And so ends another exciting episode of

"The Patrick Star Show."

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0