Original subtitles

- Hi, I'm Patrick Star, and I live with my parents.

Ow. This is my dad.

[upbeat music]

This is my mom.

* *

This is my sister. She's shy.

This is my grandpa.

This is my room.

And this...

this is my show.

* *

[upbeat music]

- Candy! [laughs]

- Trick or treat. [laughs]

- [hisses]

- Hm. [laughs]

- [meows]

Wait, is that right?

- I think we're out of toilet paper!

- Ooh, I'm the invisible mom.

Oh, my.

* *

Okay, Patrick.

It's showtime. Up and at 'em.

* *

Oh my Neptune, he's dead. Dead tired.

Ah. [grunts]

- [sniffs] - Hm?

- Mmm, nougat. Mmm.

- It's Halloween, Patrick. You know what that means.

- Candy!

[screams]

* *

- Huh?

[together] Trick or treat.

- Oh.

[sobs] - Don't be sad, big bro.

We're gonna take our audience trick-or-treating

and get tons of candy.

But first, you gotta start the show.

* *

- Hi, everyone.

Welcome to my Halloween Special.

Ooh.

- Hey weirdo, lame costume. It's not scary at all.

- Oh, no? Have a healthy Halloween.

- Broccoli? [screams]

- [laughs]

- The most important thing

about Halloween is the candy, of course.

But how do you get that candy?

In a costume, duh.

Seriously, how did you not know that?

To make a costume,

all you need is stuff from around your house.

[chainsaw buzzes] - [laughs]

This totally beats my princess pony costume

from last year.

- Come here. - Ooh.

- [screams]

[laughter]

- Huh? Ugh.

[growls]

What is wrong with you?

- Dry, itchy scalp?

- What? Ugh!

No, can't you two see that this "Halloween" thing

is all a ruse?

- Oh, I like to stop and smell the ruses.

- Of course you do. Last time I buy day-old brains.

Look, the candy, the costumes,

the happy children, all lies.

- Say it isn't so, master. - I shan't.

Instead, I'll tell you about the spine-tingling terror

that is the real Halloween.

[both shivering]

Ooh, Halloween is a terrible night.

Disguised villagers lurk around every corner,

waiting for their chance to destroy my work,

ravage my lab,

and use my bathroom without lighting a match.

- Uh... - Huh?

- And they take your candy!

- No.

[together] Not our candy.

- Yes, now you see.

If we're going to survive the night,

we shouldn't be dulling our wits with droll drivel.

We should be sharpening our senses

with something scary.

Prepare yourselves for horrors more terrible

than even your darkest nightmares,

for Halloween is upon us.

[laughs]

- Please, no! - [shivering]

[puppies barking softly]

- Huh?

Oops, sorry. Wrong channel.

[laughs]

- "Granny Tentacles' Pantry of Doom."

[crows cawing]

- Oh my, what a beautiful view

if you don't mind rundown eyesores.

Oh! That's it!

My house is a mess. I can't live like this anymore.

Oof. [grumbles]

A little hard work and elbow grease

will get my home ship shape.

Now I just gotta find a sucker to do it for me.

- [humming melody] - Huh?

- * A doo, doo, doo, rhymes with blue *

[laughs] - [laughs]

Aha. [laughs]

[laughs]

- [growls]

- [laughs]

* *

- Morning, Bunny. How goes the laundry?

- Good, I'm just doing the second coat now.

- That's great. Now mow my lawn.

[eerie music]

* *

I hope you do windows.

- Eeh!

- [laughs]

* *

Eeh, ah, ah, ah! Uh...

* *

- [grunts] Ooh.

* *

- Whoa!

* *

[grunts]

* *

- Hey. [grunts]

[murmuring indistinctly]

[coughs]

- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, ah.

* *

- [breathing heavily]

Phew.

* *

- Oh, ooh, oh, what?

* *

What, oh, how? Ooh, oh, gee, oh, my.

* *

[sighs]

It's hard work getting other people

to do your hard work. My tentacles are killing me.

Phew. Oh, Patrick?

Would you be a dear and rub my tootsies?

Not like you got a choice.

[laughs]

* *

- [growls] - Huh?

- [straining] - [straining]

[both grunt]

- My curse has been reversed!

I guess to control your mind you need a mind to control.

* *

- [growls] - No!

Oh, ugh! [grunting]

- [growling]

- Oh! Whoa!

Ugh, oh! [screams]

* *

Ooh! Um...

- [grunting]

- [grunting]

- Oh! [screams]

- [screams] - Oh!

No, no, please.

Not that. Not a--a spoon?

Well, that's just stupid.

A banana? That's even lamer.

There. Now that's scary.

No, not an axe. Stay away.

* *

Huh? - Ooh, cookie.

Thanks, Granny Tentacles. Got anymore?

Huh? Ooh.

- No. You stay out of my pantry.

[upbeat music]

My food-oo dolls!

- Huh? Hey.

- [retches]

- Huh? - Hey, hey.

[group grumbling indistinctly]

- [chuckles]

Prune juice anyone? It's got extra fiber.

[dramatic music]

[upbeat music]

- Oh, Granny Tentacles. [ringing bell]

Bring me another lemonade, would you?

- I'll have another me-cookie.

- Coming right up... - Ooh.

- Along with my lunch.

[person screams]

[horse neighs]

- Howdy, I'm Famous Zed,

and if you're anything like me, you are hungry for brains.

At Famous Zed's, we've got buckets of brains

all for you.

Enjoy brain eating at your own pace

with a visit to our brain buffet.

- [sneezes]

[bluegrass music]

- Or order fresh brains right to your table.

- [grunts] - My brain!

- So remember, the next time you've got a hankering

that only brains can satisfy,

mosey on down to Famous Zed's Brain Buffet.

We'll have you eating brains faster than you can say--

all: Brains,

brains,

brains.

- Oh, hey there. - [laughs]

- It's time for the best part of Halloween.

We're gonna get candy.

Now follow us while we lick your feet.

- Trick or treat. - Exactly.

[knocks]

- Bubble Bass, there's someone at the door.

- I'm handling it, mother.

What do you want?

[together] Trick or treat.

- Ooh, I choose treat.

[chainsaw buzzing]

- Remove that hand if you want to keep it, Buster.

Now give us some Halloween candy.

- The only holiday I celebrate

is the Shell City Comic Convention.

There's no candy for you here.

- Sure there is. [eating loudly]

It's kind of stale though. - [screams]

My vintage Mermaid Man & Barnacle Boy collector's candy!

[sobbing and muttering indistinctly]

Thousands of dollars of corn syrup

down the drain! [sobs]

- Oh, sorry. I'll give it back.

Here. - [sobbing]

- So close to candy I could almost taste it

- [sobbing]

[laughter]

- Ugh.

[loud knocking]

- The villagers, master. They've found us.

- Alright, SpongeMonster. Go scare 'em off.

- But why me?

- Because you're the biggest, and you're a monster.

What, do I have to paint you a picture?

- Oh, yes, that would be helpful.

- Fine. Patgor.

- Oh, just finishing, master. [laughs]

- There, that's you,

that's them, and this us is cheering you on.

Now make with the scaring. Hi-yah!

- [growling]

[together] Huh?

- [gasps] Oh!

Whoa! - Huh?

- I couldn't do it.

The villagers are too scary. And they had a monster too.

- Sweet Neptune, the ritualistic toilet papering

has already begun. - What do we do, master?

- The only thing we can do.

Watch more TV and hope they go away.

- "Quasar The Movie: Dark Side of the Spoon."

- Breakfast, breakfast.

- Oh, boy. Breakfast time.

Wake up, Captain Quasar. It's time for breakfast.

- Stop!

One of these days, Pat-Tron, I'm gonna sell you for scrap.

- Not until after breakfast!

[grunts] - Ooh.

- [beeps] Toast.

- Ooh. Huh?

- [beeps]

[liquid trickling]

Coffee, eggs and toast. Just the way you like it.

[upbeat music]

* *

And a bowl of Logic Loops for me.

* *

[screaming and grunting]

- Egad, Pat-Tron. What's the matter?

- Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, oh.

Ow, my robo tum-tum. - What is in this garbage?

Let's see, "Logic Loops. Free prize inside."

- Oh, what does this crank do?

["Pop Goes the Weasel" plays softly"]

- Robo alien invader?

"Warning: do not eat. May kill entire crew!"

Pat-Tron, wait. Don't turn that--

- [screeches] - Ow.

- [grunts] Oh!

- [snarling]

- I'm a mommy! [laughs]

- That's not your baby, Pat-Tron.

That's a murder machine!

- Don't be silly. He's just a little hungry.

Oh, I'll make him a bottle. Here.

- Um, coochie coo?

- [chomps loudly] [roars]

- [screaming]

- [growls] - [screams]

- Now, now, baby. No biting the captain.

Here's baby's baba.

Time for burpies.

- [burps] - Ah!

Is that acid? [screams]

- Oh, dear. I'll get a towel.

- [roars] - [screaming]

[dramatic music]

* *

- Baby's first steps. Oh, look at him go.

- [screaming]

That's it! I'm done with your nonsense!

Open the airlock!

We're flushing that monster out into space!

- My baby's not a monster! He's a growing boy!

Look how big he's getting. - Oh.

- [growling]

* *

[alarm blares]

- [screams]

* *

- Oh! My baby, you're safe.

Now I can shower you with a mother's love.

Ow, ow, stop!

I can't shower you if--ow! Why won't you let me love you?

- I got to get a new robot.

[wolf howls]

- When the full moon rises and the kelp-bane blooms,

werewolves rule the night,

but though fur appears and comes out their ears,

they never should look a fright.

- Huh.

- How many times has this happened to you?

You turn into a seawolf, only to realize

you haven't had a trim since the last full moon.

- Only every month,

but what am I supposed to do about it?

- I'll tell you, friend.

You head straight to Madame Hagfish's

Were-Hair Boutique.

We'll give you a wash. We'll give you a trim.

We'll paint your nails and perfume your tails.

We have the latest flea shampoos,

and we never use scissors made from silver.

So come on down to Madame Hagfish's

Were-Hair Boutique, and let us transform you.

- [howls] - [laughs]

Whoo-hoo!

[werewolves howling]

- Behold, master.

Your new look. You're so tall now.

- You fool!

You've given me the same haircut as my ex-wife!

[ghostly wail]

- Sorry, master! - Why I ought to--

[loud knocking]

- The villagers, they're back. We're doomed.

- Quickly, Patgor. Battle stations.

- Yes, master.

- Boil up a cauldron of oatmeal.

- Yes, master.

* *

- Huh?

Those are some weird disguises for feudal villagers.

- [laughs] - Uh.

[upbeat music]

* *

- Okay, this is the last house in the neighborhood,

and our last chance to get candy,

so let's get it right. - Right.

[both inhale deeply]

[together] Trick or treat!

- Trick? Treat?

Threaten me and demand a bribe, will you?

Patgor, let 'er rip. [grunts]

- Yes, master.

[dramatic music]

* *

- Me flavored oatmeal.

- Pull yourself together.

We didn't come here for oatmeal.

That candy will be ours.

[together] * We did it *

* We did it, we did it *

[loud knocking]

[both shivering]

- Hello?

- Hello, I'm the gas guy.

I'm here to check your meter. Whoa!

Ah.

- Phew. Well, it's about time.

The monster's been extra gassy this week.

- Whoa, no, no!

- Here's his meter.

I don't know. See what you can do with it.

- Pfft, I think know how to do my job.

- Ow, oh, oh.

[wrench clanking]

- Come on. Where's that candy?

- Huh? Ow!

- Ooh, score. A jelly bean.

- Candy? Gimme!

- Ow! [screaming]

- [screaming] - [screaming]

[all screaming]

- Good work, SpongeMonster.

Now give those interlopers the ol' heave-ho.

- Roar! - Hi, I'm Patrick.

- Oh.

- You can't keep me out of your house!

I'm on basic cable.

- Isn't there something else on?

- Candy!

- [screams] Do something, master!

- Oh!

[screams]

[easy listening music]

* *

- Hmm. Candy?

And right here just for us,

we're gonna paint a little candy.

[dramatic music]

* *

Oh, candy!

- Well, Patrick. What'll it be?

Will you take this jar of candy,

or will you take the mystery prize?

It's time to negotiate.

- Nah, that's okay. All I want is the candy.

See you later!

[easy listening music]

[screams]

- [screams]

- Whoa, how'd we get home?

- I don't know, but I got us candy.

- Ooh, oh, boy!

I'm gonna eat all the Nut Cracklers first.

Ooh, or the Tropical Fruit Fuzzies.

No wait. The Cocoa Chunkers.

[together] Trick or treat.

[both scream]

- Gosh, do you think we're doing this right?

- We must be.

We've gotten candy from every kid tonight.

- Maybe we should save some for Patrick and Squidina?

[together] Nah!

[laughter]

- Whoo! - Oh, dear!

Whee! - Yeah, hey!

[bell chimes]

- Midnight. We survived Halloween.

We're safe, at least until...

[jingle bells chiming]

Oh, no, it couldn't be. It's too soon.

- There's only 54 shopping days left.

Get your tree now.

[loud knocking]

[together] * We wish you *

* A merry Christmas *

* we wish you a merry Christmas *

* We wish you a merry Christmas *

- Patgor, battle stations! Boil up a cauldron of eggnog.

- Yes, master.

- Merry Christmas. [laughs]

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0