Original subtitles

- Hi, I'm Patrick Star,

and I live with my parents.

Oh!

This is my dad.

This is my mom. Ooh-hoo!

[laughs] This is my sister.

She's shy.

This is my grandpa.

This is my room.

And this...

this is my show.

* *

[light music]

* *

- [grumbling]

[doorbell rings]

- Hello, friendly neighborhood paper boy.

What can I do for you today?

- I'm here about the money, Mr. Star.

- Money? [chuckles]

Oh, I don't need any money, but thanks for asking.

- Wait, no.

[groans] No, you big pinhead.

You owe me newspaper money.

Huh?

Hmm.

- [humming] * Shower *

[door opens]

[singing loudly]

- Fork over three bucks!

- Aah!

- [shouts, grunting]

I'll be back, you deadbeat!

- Bunny, there's a prowler on the loose!

[shouts, grunting]

[groaning]

- Mom, have you seen my ski poles?

[grunts]

Never mind.

- [moaning eerily]

- It's a g-g-g-ghost!

[whispering indistinctly]

You're right. This would be great on my show!

[laughing]

Look, Squidina, a real live ghost.

- [moans]

- Oh, perfect.

Let's do a Ghost Peeker segment.

And action.

- Welcome to "Peek-A-Boo"!

I've just seen a ghost.

Look how big my pupils are.

- [screaming]

- Now it's your turn.

- [moans]

- Peek-a-boo.

- [moaning eerily]

Peek-a-boo.

- Daddy?

- Peek-a-boo. - Peek-a-boo.

- Peek-a-boo.

- Peek-a-boo.

- Peek-a-boo. - Peek-a-boo.

- Oh, Dad, you're no ghost.

Why can't we have real ghosts in the house?

Peek-a-boo. - [laughs]

Sorry, son, but we can't afford ghosts.

Haunted houses are for the rich.

Peek-a-boo!

- Gosh darn it. I want to peek at ghosts.

- Aw.

- [sobbing]

- Oh, cheer up, bro.

I know where to find ghosts for cheap.

- [speaking gibberish, laughs]

- [sighs exasperatedly]

- Do you have a boring houseguest who won't leave?

- Huh? Uh-huh.

- Boo! - Aah!

[grunting goofily]

- Get a ghost.

- Hmm. [chuckles]

- Are you tired of sleeping late?

[alarm ringing]

- [shouts] - Aah!

- Get a ghost!

Tired of meatheads laughing at your scrawny body?

- [grunts]

[laughing]

- Get a ghost!

We've got affordable spooks,

certified to haunt your house today.

Just strangle your phone and give us a call

at Get a Ghost Incorporated!

First haunt is always free.

- Free? You don't have to twist my nub!

- If you'd like to make a call, please--

[choking]

[eerily] Ooh...

- Hello?

Send free ghosts to this address, please.

Thank you!

[doorbell rings] [gasps]

Oh, boy, they're here!

- [laughs wickedly]

- G-g-g-ghost delivery!

These two degenerate souls are guaranteed

to haunt your socks off!

- Not my socks.

- Yeah, only if we feel likes it.

[laughter]

- Uh, they're just kidding.

Come on, guys, you're embarrassing me now.

- Aw, you dropped your hat, Dutchy.

Here, let me get that for you.

- Aah!

- Welcome to Star House, gentlemen.

Are you ready to do some haunting?

- Yeah, whatevs.

Where do want us to start?

- Mom's upstairs, and Dad's in the kitchen.

- One side, please. Time to go to work.

[chuckles]

- One scare, coming up.

[grunts]

both: Our house is haunted!

- [singing loudly]

- [chuckles]

[grunts] Mmm...

- [chuckles] - Huh?

- [chuckles]

- My sandwich!

Come back here.

- Huh?

- Whoa!

Hey!

- And now for the hot stuff. [chuckles]

Dinner is served!

- * That's the best sandwich I ever ate *

[belches]

- Hmm, this gone stale?

[screaming]

- I hope the other ghost is scarier than you are.

- [humming]

- [chuckles]

- [continues humming]

- [whimpering]

[screams]

- Ah, these ghosts are lame.

How are we supposed to do a scary show with no scares?

[grunts angrily]

- That cheapskate is gonna give me what he owes me...

whether he knows it or not!

- Sorry, kid.

We tried, but your family's just too dumb to scare.

- Said the worst ghosts I've ever seen.

I could scare people better than you.

Huh.

- Oh, yeah? all: Huh?

- I bet you couldn't even scare that guy.

- Oh, I couldn't, huh?

Watch and learn.

- There's probably loose change in the couch.

Aha! I think I found a bag of money.

What the heck?

- That's not yours.

- [screaming]

- Hey, I need that!

- What? We can't compete with that.

That spooky kid is a ringer.

- Mm.

Okay, the haunted-house-show idea is dead.

We need another show idea, quick.

Hmm.

You two are gruesome and repulsive.

So... we can do a makeover show!

We're taking two uglies and turning them into beauties.

And voil�.

You're to die for.

- What the--

- Huh? Oh.

both: Look at you!

[laughing]

- Huh?

I wasn't trying to kill them.

But it makes great television.

- Huh?

Wow. We're alive again.

We must've double-died.

- Hey, they sure buried us in some nice duds.

both: You sweet kid. You scared us back to life.

- Aw. - Come here, you.

- You're welcome. You're hurting me.

both: The Flim-Flam Brothers are back in business.

Ahh.

- And I think we're gonna like our new home.

[both laugh]

- Hey, nerdy kid, get me a glass of water.

- Being haunted by ghosts is one thing,

but now they're just a couple of freeloaders.

- [humming]

- Huh? The Flim-Flam Brothers?

You borrowed ten bucks from me in 1926 and skipped town.

With interest and adjusted for inflation,

I'd say that brings it up to...

$462,000!

- And nine cents.

- Sorry, we've been dead--

dead broke!

[rimshot] both: [laughing] Huh?

- You owe me restitution!

Restitution!

Restitution!

- * Hey, kiddo, what's going on? *

- Huh? - [grunting]

- Aha!

You owe me restitution, too!

- Aah! - Come back here!

- A clam flew away with my skin.

- I wouldn't be a good producer if I didn't carry a spare.

[giggles]

- Thanks, sis!

[grunting]

Well, kids, today we learned

that ghosts aren't scary at all.

They're just...

Silly.

- [laughs wickedly]

Boo!

- Aah!

- Aah!

- And just like that, those pesky kids

were scared away,

thanks to Get a Ghost Incorporated!

Aah!

And tell them The Dutchman sent you.

Ow.

[jaunty music]

- I'm ready!

I'm ready, I'm ready!

Ready to work at the Krusty Krab!

But first...

Sponge smash!

[grunts]

[imitating Spongebob's laugh]

* I live in a papaya under the sea *

Sponge smash! [grunting]

* Or a coconut *

Sponge smash!

Or a skunk fruit!

Sponge smash!

Stinky! Ew!

- More fruit, Patrick, more fruit.

Sponge smash!

[laughs goofily]

[grunting]

More fruit, more fruit!

[laughing weakly]

- I smashed all of it. [grunts, laughs]

- Aw, barnacles!

I got fruit on my lens, and I missed most of that.

- Oh, no! We're fresh out of fresh fruit.

Back to the supermarket.

- Aw, man. - Hyuh?

Hyuh! Supermarket?

Why, back in the 1940s, you didn't have to pay for fruit,

Fruit was free, and it picked itself off the trees,

and fell into your mouth.

- 1940s, got it.

I'll be right back with more fruit.

[humming]

1940s.

Boop boop, beep boop bop boop.

- Oh, and I used to squeeze the fruit juice

all over my face

and rub my butt in the fruit meat!

- Ew, butt fruit! Yuck.

- And away we go!

Free fruit, here I come.

Ah, oh?

Hello!

- Warning, warning!

If you have entered the knuclear testing area,

you are a knucklehead.

- Hi. Sorry to intrude, but can you tell me

where they keep the free fruit around here?

Huh?

Oh, I get it, keeping it all for yourself, huh?

I understand.

I wouldn't tell anyone either.

No hard feelings, I'll let myself out.

I said, "No hard feelings!"

Huh?

I guess you're the head of the house now.

Bye.

- Three...

Two...

One...

One and a half...

One and a quarter...

Now, now, now.

[banging on door]

Uh?

[grunts]

The 1940s were boring.

- Did you get the fruit?

- No, but I got something even better.

[laughs] - Aah!

- * Who lives in this severed head under the sea? *

[knocking on door]

- All right, you two, time for bed.

both: Aw!

audience: Aw! - Aw, man!

- Come on, son.

The decapitated head'll still be here in the morning.

[chuckles] Come on, little girl.

- [sighs]

- Bedtime!

Night.

- Wish upon a star!

- [snoring]

- [growling]

- Night light? Oh, sorry.

- [sighs, snoring]

- [snoring]

- Breakfast! - [gasps]

[grunts] I'm coming, breakfast!

[panting] all: Ah!

- I've got some serious hungries in my tum-gries!

[gobbling] all: [angry muttering]

- Aren't you guys eating? all: [angry muttering]

- Sorry?

- Don't be sorry, sweetie. You need food to grow.

Who's a big boy?

- I'm a big boy! [laughs]

And I'm still hungry.

[chomping]

[chomping]

- Pipe wrench. - [burps]

- Thanks.

- Mm, mm--gah!

Uh, Patrick?

Do you feel any bigger today?

- No, thanks, I just ate.

[watch beeps] - [gasps]

Gotta get you camera ready.

You're on in five. [grunting]

Yep, okay. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

[old-timey movie music]

* *

Smile, Patrick. audience: Yay!

- You're on.

- Ee!

Hello, everybody, and welcome to the "Patrick Show!"

[burps]

- Hyuh!

I don't know what's going on here,

but bigger Patrick, bigger laughs.

Ah!

- [grunting] audience: [cheering]

- Ooh! [muffled exclamations]

- And I'm your host, Patrick.

Uh, what? Whoopsie-gravy.

- Needle-nose pliers.

- [belches] - Thanks.

- Whew, I'm thirsty. Let's take a coffee break.

[pleasant music]

- Oh, what a wonderful hot tub, GrandPat.

If it was actually hot.

- [chugging] both: Whoa!

- It's hot enough, but now it's too humid!

- Ew, tastes like mothballs.

[burps]

- Patrick, you really are growing up!

- Who's a big boy? - I'm a big boy!

[laughs]

That disgusting coffee makes me feel 10,000 feet tall!

- [grunting, giggling]

No butts about it, you're watching the "Patrick Show."

- When we last left the Sponge Action Man, he was--

Wait, where's my Sponge Action Man?

There you are. - Huh? Whoa!

[gasps] Patrick, you're freakishly huge!

Cool!

- Wow!

It's the new talking Sponge Action Man!

Who smiled warmly and said...

"Sponge smash!" - Wee! Ow!

Arrg! I'm fruit beard! [laughs]

- Sponge smash! - Wee!

Ow!

Orange you glad to see me? [laughs]

- Sponge smash! - Wee!

Ow!

An apple a day keeps the--

Oh, you know, I think I'm sensing a pattern here.

- Oh? That banana's huge. - Sponge smash!

both: [laughing]

- [laughs]

- Oh, what a beautiful day for a beautiful parade,

huh, Midge? [chuckles]

- Then Sponge Action Man smashed the banana

with his teeth!

- Sponge bite! [chomps]

- Ooh, that's looks good.

Patrick bite! [chomps]

- [laughs]

[laughs]

Hey, this is a nice fixer-upper!

- You know, Clint, we have been hosting

this parade for 12 years, and I have seen

a parade balloon eating another parade balloon!

both: Oh!

crowd: [screams]

- That's no balloon, it's a big boy!

- Ah!

[panicked muttering] crowd: [screaming]

- Loud noises!

- Oh, ho, ho, yes!

This is mindless entertainment gold!

- Extra! Read all about it!

Military called in to combat pink monster!

- They were?

- Extra, extra! We're okay!

- [frustrated grunting]

Why won't you toys stay where I put you?

- Fire!

crowd: [screaming]

- Cool! Roller skates!

[grunts, laughing] Whoa!

- Oh, those were our best tanks.

We'll have to resort to knuclear missiles.

- Don't you dare hurt my big brother!

He's not a monster, he's just big-boned.

- Bombs away!

- Ow. Ow!

Stupid mosquitoes.

Make-up!

- Uh-oh! - Did you see him grow again?

Uh-huh, uh-huh.

Patrick must have been hit with knuclear radiation

on his outside to make him big.

So we just gotta get him some radiation on his inside

to make him small.

- I'll try anything at this point.

Takeover, soldier. Hi--Whoa!

- Atten-hut!

soldiers: Hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup!

Huh, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup!

Hup, hup!

- Who's a big boy? Who's a big boy?

- Oh! I'm a big boy! [laughs]

Hot dog! [barking]

Hey, where's the mustard?

- Mustard squad, move in!

mustard squad: Hup, hup, hup, hup, hup!

- [chomps, swallows]

[sighs] Could have used some relish.

[belches] both: Whoa!

Ooh!

- Aw, I was just getting comfortable.

- I was just getting digested.

- Plunger!

- [burps] - Whoa! Ow.

Thanks!

all: [cheering]

- Yeah! - All right!

- Yay!

- Hooray!

- Yay!

[high-pitched] Yay!

- Mwah!

Who's a shrunken boy?

- [high-pitched] I'm a shrunken boy!

And we'll see you next time on the "Patrick Show!"

- Ooh! My turn!

Patrick smash!

- [laughs]

both: [laughing]

* *

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0