Original subtitles

- Hi, I'm Patrick Star!

And I live with my parents.

[yelps]

This is my dad.

- [slurps]

- This is my mom. [laughs]

This is my sister. She's shy.

This is my grandpa.

This is my room!

And this...

this is my show!

[kids cheering]

- [snoring]

[rumbling and crashing]

[gasping]

[screams]

[snoring]

[crashing] [growls, grunting]

[spluttering]

[yawns]

[crashing] [gasps]

Eh?

- Oh. Oh. [shouting]

- A yard sale?

Why would anyone wanna sell

their pricelessly valuable belongings to strangers?

Blech!

I wouldn't part with my stuff for the world.

Oh, no!

They wouldn't dare!

[gasps] I knew it!

I've been robbed by my own family!

[tires squeal]

[grunting]

Oh.

[groaning]

- How much for the jewels?

- They're kinda old.

How's 2 bucks sound?

- [shouting]

Cease and desist!

My belongings are not for sale!

- I'll give you a buck 50. - Sold!

[cash register chimes] [grunting]

- [laughs]

- Patrick, it's not yours to sell.

[grunts]

- Hey, I paid for that!

- Here's a booby prize, you boob!

- A lollipop? Oh, boy!

[slurping]

- [grunting]

- Oh...

- Don't be a grouch, Dad.

[coughs]

Everyone in the family contributed to the yard sale.

- We're selling old junk,

and everything you have is old junk.

- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. - Do the maths.

[chicken clucks] - [gulps]

- Hand it over.

- [whimpers] - Come on.

- [whimpering]

[grunting]

You don't understand.

Each one of these precious vintage antiques

represents a precious vintage memory of mine.

- Oh, just what I've been looking for.

- [gasping]

- How much for this?

- [grunting]

- Hey!

Oh! A lollipop! Mmm-mmm!

- Take this novelty thumb, for instance.

It's a souvenir from ancient Rome.

That's way back when I was a whippersnapping young buck.

- Ooh.

- [spluttering]

Oh...

- What is it, Grandfather? What do you see?

- I see the Clamiseum.

The Clamiseum was packed to capacity that day

for the glorious gladiator battles.

[all grunt]

[all booing]

- And no gladiator was more feared or revered

than the great and stupid warrior, Moronicus.

- [growling] [all cheering]

- Whoo! Whoo!

- His fans loved to watch him crush his opponents

with brutal strength.

And, boy, did he give them something to nerd out about.

all: Moronicus! Moronicus! Moronicus! Moronicus!

- Let me out of here.

- It's not funny.

- He came from a famous family of battling morons,

but he was the all-time champion.

[all cheering]

- Some fun, eh, son?

- [shouting] Yeah!

- That monster was so big and dumb

that he couldn't tell friend from foe,

so it was my duty to keep him in line.

[laughs]

[all booing]

- [roars]

- I was a Clamiseum Clown,

the most dangerous job in Rome.

- [growling]

Huh?

- [laughing] Mwah!

[all booing]

But on that day, that big dummy bested me.

Ooh, and he had horrible halitosis.

Suddenly, I was on trial for my life.

They unanimously voted, and it wasn't good.

all: Yeah!

- I knew I was a goner for sure now.

I needed a plan, and I needed it quick.

[grunting]

[upbeat circus music]

Aha! - Ooh! Aww!

- [laughing]

- [growls]

- [shouting]

- [moaning]

- I didn't mean to hurt the big moron.

- [muttering incoherently]

- [laughs nervously] Ta-da?

Oh, I knew the crowd would tear me apart for it.

How wrong I was!

all: Yeah!

- They loved me! Yeah!

[all cheering]

- Way to go, buddy!

- I was showered in thumbs,

which really hurt since they were made out of cement.

- Yay!

- [laughs]

- [moaning]

[chuckles]

- So? Tell me about ancient Rome!

- Oh, I just did! Didn't you see the flashback?

- Oh. I must have dozed off.

- [grunting]

[gasps]

- Hello, sir, could I interest you

in our lovely array of rusty old tools?

- Rusty! Ooh!

- Hmm.

[pliers squeak]

[grunting]

How much for the vintage nose hair pullers?

- Those ain't nose hair pullers!

They're teeth yanking pliers

from my medieval dentistry days.

- [sighs]

- [spluttering]

[moaning]

It was the dark ages,

and I was the only toothsmith in the kingdom.

[grunting]

- [screaming]

[bright music]

* *

- Almost got it!

[grunting] - [screaming]

* *

- There, that's the last one.

You'll never have a toothache again.

- Thankth!

- You can rinse now, my good man.

[shouts]

Ooh, a Royal Jelly message from the palace.

It's from Princess Pearlina.

She says, "Dear Dentist,

"I've got a malignant mandible molar

that's in need of your marvelous medical magic."

- [spits, groans]

- I will yank out your pain, my princess!

By my pliers, I swear!

- Yay! [both groan]

[donkey braying]

- Whoa, Bicuspid! This is it.

[upbeat medieval music]

- [spits, brays]

- Cast your eyes skyward, noble dentist, for I am here.

[laughs]

- Princess Pearlina, let down your hair

that I may climb thy golden stair.

- Not now. I just washed it. I'll come to you.

[laughing]

I applaud your swift arrival, good dentist.

The pain of this tooth has become quite unbearable.

And it hurts!

- I shall not disappoint you, milady,

and I shall not dally.

- [grunting] - Oh!

- Okay, where's that nasty old tooth hiding?

- Oh, no, no, no.

It is not my tooth that is in horrible pain.

both: Huh? - It is his.

[inhales, whistles]

- [roaring]

[whimpers]

[whining] - Oh!

- This is Mr. Boots, my royal guard dragon.

- [whimpers]

- Open your mouth for the nice man, Mr. Boots.

- [roars]

- [screaming]

- I'll catch up with you later, Bicuspid!

- [growling]

- I hope.

So many teeth. But which one's the bad one?

I guess there's only one way to find out.

Alley-oop! Is this the tooth?

- Uh-uh. - Nope!

- Hmm. [grunts]

- Nope!

Nope!

Nope! - Hiyah!

- Nope!

- Ouch! Watch it, buster!

- Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't see you there.

- Honest mistake, my good chap.

I've been stuck here for so long,

I can no longer tell the difference

between a day and a knight.

[laughs]

Break out the onion dip, Roddy. We have company.

- No thanks.

I'm just looking for a bad tooth.

- Oh, what's that, Roddy?

Roddy says the rotten tooth you seek

is down the tongue and to the left.

- Much obliged, fellas. - Ta-ta.

- Whoa!

[yelps]

Is this the tooth?

[chicken clucks] - [growls]

- [gasps] - Yes!

- Finally.

[grunts] - [growls]

- [grunts] - [growls]

- [grunts] - [growls]

- I can't do this alone. I need help.

Okay, everyone, we yank on the count of three.

One, two, three!

[all grunting]

- Oh!

all: Yay!

- Hurray! - Mwah!

- Aww. - Roddy wants kisses!

- Goodbye, sir dentist! - Ta-ta!

- Goodbye. Don't forget to floss!

And that's why they're not for sale!

- You call this a lollipop? Pathetic.

Now that's what I'm talking about.

Mmm!

[slurping]

- Barnacles, GrandPat! I almost had that sale.

- And you're not selling my dragon tooth furniture either!

[grunts]

- How much for the brain?

[giggles]

- [spluttering]

Nope. Not mine.

- Oh!

It's not mine either.

Looks like you got yourself a free brain, Mister.

- You are free now, little brain!

Free!

[giggling]

- Free stuff, eh?

Can I have this old vacuum cleaner for free?

- Ahh! Of course not!

This old vacuum reminds me of my days in the Old West,

when I was a rootin', tootin' traveling salesman.

[spluttering]

It was 1849,

and this brash young man was selling vacuums door-to-door.

"Go away, Elsie"?

Good thing my name ain't Elsie!

- Hmm?

- Good morning, sir!

I'm here to tell ya about a newfangled automatic broom

you can't live without, the vacuum cleaner.

Now, I don't need to tell you

that a clean mine is a happy mine.

- A clean mime?

I wash my mime twice a day, sonny,

and it don't make him happy.

[light French music]

* *

You're no mime cleaner. You're a gold stealer!

Get off of my claim, you carpet baggerer!

- No wait! Ow!

- [laughs]

- Just let me demonstrate how much power

is in this incredible little vacuum!

- Hey, what the-- [laughs]

- This little sweetheart is handy, dandy,

and even picks up candy.

- Ooh! - [laughs]

And if you thought that sucked,

let me show you some real suction.

Whoa! Whoa!

- I knew you were fixin' to steal me gold!

Sic him, Marcel!

[bell dings]

- Yee-haw!

- [shouts]

- Yeah, that off switch is a little sticky.

Hello?

Hmm? Where'd they go?

No sale again,

but I got closer that time.

[humming]

I never struck it rich,

but my memories are more precious than gold.

- Quick, before he snaps out of his trance, let's haggle.

- I'll give you a rock shaped like a nickel for it.

- Hmm...sold!

- [snickering]

- Hello? Has the West been won yet?

- [groans]

Hey, where's my vacuum? Hmm?

- Gold!

- Memory stealer!

[grunts]

- Whoa!

- [screams]

- Yeah!

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Where do you think you're going with that?

- It's a loopy-hoop. That's where I'm going with it.

- That is not a child's toy! It's an oldie-o.

Everybody had one of these when I was living in the future.

- Ooh!

What's the future like, GrandPat?

Are there snacks?

- Everyone in the future is older than they are now!

Even you will be a geezer in the future!

- No way.

- Way.

both: Whoa!

- I remember it like it was tomorrow.

The year was 3000 A.D.,

and I went to the mall of the future,

to stand in the line of the future,

to buy products of the future.

[dings] [giggles]

- One oldie-o for the g-g-geezer.

- Yeah.

Whoa! Whoa!

[laughing]

Top of the chrome dome to you. Lovely day.

[grunts]

What's that now?

Oh boy, lunchtime! Mmm!

Ah...

[grunting]

Whoa!

[grunting]

[alarm beeping] Huh?

Back to work. [laughs]

[laughing]

[crowd booing]

- [groaning]

Huh? [growls]

[all cheering]

- [laughing]

- [grunts]

[splutters] Hey!

[all cheering]

[both grunt]

[both grunting]

- [growls]

[beeping]

[grunting]

[crying]

[burps]

- 500 angry Romans agree, even in the future,

I'm the undisputed champion.

Thank you! Thank you!

- What? That's the biggest load of barnacles I ever heard!

- Are you calling me

an untruthful fibbing poppy-cocker?

- Bingo! I don't believe in your future, beardy.

This is just an old loopy-hoop. Now give it!

- [laughs]

Mm-hmm?

- Eh!

[both grunt]

- [laughing]

Huh?

Hey!

Hey! [grunting]

[grunting]

- Another satisfied customer.

- Stop peddling my past!

- Huh? - Not for sale! Not for sale!

- Ah! - Not for sale!

- Oh!

- Not for sale!

Next wise guy who touches my memories

gets the teeth!

[growls]

- How much are you asking?

- What, do you got cement in your ears, lady?

My stuff is not for sale!

- [laughs]

I'm not interested in your stuff.

I'm interested in you.

- [exhales]

What?

- We're in the market for a new grandpa,

aren't we, Billy?

- I guess. Get off.

- Our old grandpa is on the fritz.

- [sputtering]

- I'll give you 50 bucks to be our new grandpa.

- Absolutely not!

- My GrandPat is not for sale!

- Then how about 50 bucks and one of these?

- Ooh, a lolli!

- [gasps] Huh?

- Ooh, tapioca flavored! Sold!

So long, Star family! I'm going to a better place!

- With a pool.

- I wish I had a new grandpa.

- Did you say, "New grandpa"? - Yeah?

- Then come on down... - What?

- To Pappy Farms Grandpa Ranch!

[cow moos]

We've got prune-fed, free-range grandpas

just waiting to read you a story,

blather on about the war,

or fall asleep watching your recital.

- I got three grandpas!

- I got a chicken!

- Patrick! We're here for grandpas!

- Aww!

all: So come on down to Pappy Farms!

- Exit nine. Just off the Bubble Freeway.

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0