Original subtitles

Whoa!

Whoo!

Hey, you all right?

Never better.

Man, is that fun!

When's the next ride leave?

We've got a 10 hour layover, Mr. Olympiad.

I'm starving.

So, what should we call this place, Data Universal?

"Data Universal"?

Something like that is almost never there for you.

"Data Universal Hardware, Data Universal Pharmacy,

"Data Universal Travel."

What about Data Universal Eats? 'Cause I'm starving.

You got any coins?

Oh, no, yuck! No junk food. I need some real food.

Yeah, let's go on a pasta hunt, huh?

Okay.

Great, this thing doesn't even take cash.

Please present data number.

Present data number.

Uh, sorry, I, uh... I left it at home.

Please press one.

Please stand by.

Hey!

Wait!

What if you found a portal to a parallel universe?

What if you could slide into a thousand different worlds

where it's the same year and you're the same person,

but everything else is different?

And what if you can't find your way home?

Sliders.

What the hell just happened?

Well, we've got a keypad here.

Maggie must have triggered something.

A vending machine that eats the customer?

Sliders rule number 11,

never rule out the obvious, no matter how weird.

Chips, coffee,

candy bars.

It all seems normal enough.

This is definitely a camera.

This other device looks like some kind of a scanner.

You mean, somebody's on the other side watching?

What do you think we're dealing with here?

Well, the what is obviously this Data Universal.

We find them, we find Maggie.

We've got under 10 hours to do it, all right?

Let's go.

Whoa!

Hello, and good day from all your friends at Data Universal.

I'm 5579-A and I'll be your personal account representative.

Where the hell am I?

If you'll just hold your barcode up to the screen

we can process your application as quickly as possible.

No, I didn't apply for anything.

I was kidnapped and brought here.

We're sorry you've fallen through the bureaucratic cracks

but with your speedy cooperation

we can have you mainstreamed in no time.

No time is what I've got.

I have friends who are expecting me.

Now, why am I here?

Why you attempted to use money, of course.

And you don't use money, here. Of course!

What was I thinking?

So tell me, what's the drill, huh?

Is it a chip in the head or a bone graft?

Or is this idiot bracelet the key to the bank, huh?

You know just for once,

I'd like to put a coin in a slot and get a lousy pack of gum

instead of being sucked into some kind of gulag!

Is that too much to ask for, Mr. Number?

Uh, it's 5579-A.

Whatever.

Uh...

I'm sorry you seem to be so upset.

But we really can't proceed until you are scanned into the system.

Scan this.

There's no phone book.

Try information.

Thank you for using Universal Information Services.

Yes, uh, do you have a number for Data Universal?

For directory assistance, please press one,

followed by your code number.

Look, I don't have a code number.

I'm trying to reach Data Universal.

Enter code now.

Man.

Uh, listen, I'm at a rotary phone, here...

Hello? Hello?

This reminds me of that old Bob Seger tune,

Feel Like a Number.

Well, I'm not a number.

I thought we'd try to get a business directory, but no chance of that.

Just find me a crowbar.

Squeeze it easy.

Welcome to Data Universal news stand.

Please present your barcode.

Hello, 491538166-B.

Your daily copy of the Dispatch is ready for you

as well at this week's business magazine.

A total of $2.95 will be charged to your account.

Thanks for shopping the Data Universal way.

Sir, excuse me.

Pardon me, ma'am. Could we...

The Data Universal way must be the rude way.

Or the shy way.

Or maybe we just don't exist here without a barcode.

Cashless society.

Wonder if anybody's told him that.

What?

You think I'm some kind of panhandler?

It speaks.

It also stands and kicks butt, fella.

So watch it.

Sorry, we didn't mean to, uh, it's...

it's just that no one seems to...

Talk? Yeah, I know.

Real human interaction has been on the out for years.

Those damn chat rooms, I think.

Yeah, you guys look a little down and out yourselves.

Wanna buy a number?

Get you a whole new identity sky-high credit limits guaranteed.

Actually, we're just looking for a little Information.

From a person?

What are you, some kind of protestors?

Statement makers? I know, you're Green Voice!

Actually, we're not from around here.

I'm Diana, Rembrandt and Mallory.

Ah, well, Data Universal thinks I'm 719 something,

but the name's Arlo Higgins.

Look, our friend got nabbed by one of those crazy driverless trucks.

You mean a scoop?

You must be from far away not to know about scoops.

Worlds away, you might say.

Bummer, chances are

your friend will be lost in the system forever.

Adios, muchachos.

Arlo, we're not that easily put off.

We're gonna get to her no matter what.

So can you help us?

Take on the big "D?"

Yeah, I'm into it.

I'm into it big time.

Come on, I got some things that might help.

How long am I going to be kept here?

I've told you. It's up to you.

I'd like to help you on your way,

but you'll have to cooperate.

What do you want me to do?

That's better. Simply hold your bracelet up to the scanner.

Confirming temporary ID number 36041688-A.

Excellent.

I'll call you 360.

Just call me Maggie.

That would be against policy.

All right, no. No numbers.

You either call me Maggie or Ms. Beckett.

Those are your choices.

Uh, very well, you can be Maggie.

Thank you so much.

Now, then, uh, Maggie,

we have to build up a profile so that all your daily needs can be met.

This is really for your own good.

All right. Let's get on with it.

If you prefer to live in an urban environment, please press one.

Surburban, press two.

In a rural environment, press three.

It's not that simple.

Of course it is.

No, it's not.

I spent most of my life living on military bases.

We moved around a lot

so sometimes we were near a big city, sometimes not.

All right, my favorite place

was this little house in San Francisco

that I lived in with my husband Steven.

It had this beautiful little garden in the backyard.

San Francisco is one of our larger metropolitan areas.

The appropriate button would be one.

I don't like your name.

I beg your pardon.

It's not a name, it's a number.

If it's okay for you to call me Maggie,

then it's okay for me to call you...

Guy. I'll call you Guy.

You are a very

troubling client.

All my friends tell me the same thing.

Less than nine hours to go.

Yeah.

That's you?

Yeah, that's me.

You worked for Data Universal?

I put in my time.

"Arlo Higgins. Data Universal's account rep of the month."

So, what do they do?

Simply put, they take care of you.

Provided, of course, you play by their rules.

What do you do with all this stuff?

Ah, I thought about having a garage sale

but everybody else has more stuff than I do.

Yeah, it's one big efficient cycle.

You work for Data Universal just to buy all their stuff.

They know what you like to eat, to wear, to read, to drive.

They've got all your sizes.

So nobody has to think at all.

Yeah, like that guy at the news stand.

What a way to live.

Ah!

Check this out.

This was my stash before Data Universal took over

and assigned everybody asingle number.

- That's quite a collection. - Mmm-hmm.

Oh, this, this was my favorite.

Issued by American Provincial Bank, 1989.

It's very rare, it's never been swiped.

Ah, so they know everything about you? Kind of a big brother.

Data! That's all you become.

Numbers. Codes. Files. You're no longer a person,

you're just a consumer.

And if you're not a consumer, you're not a person.

What if you changed your personal preferences,

changed your mind?

If they want you to change your mind, they'll change it for you.

What can you tell us about what happened to our friend?

Well, they're probably processing her as we speak.

Ah, here it is.

Will they hurt her?

Depends on how cooperative she is.

Maggie, cooperative?

Hello, again, Maggie.

I've consulted with my superiors about your,

shall we say, rather special problem,

and we think we can get you back to your friends soon.

We'll profile you with our patented rapid processing system.

Good, Guy. Thank you.

We can have you processed in two hours.

Now then, Maggie,

would you like a local or general anesthesia?

Press one for local. Press two for...

What?

Why your mind scan, of course.

Mind scan? For what?

It's the fastest way.

Well, forget it.

I'm sorry but you don't have a choice.

The procedure is quite safe, and has a 87% survival rate.

Now this shouldn't hurt a bit.

Guy, why are you doing this to me?

We were just getting to know each other.

This is a way for me to get to know you even better.

Oh, no, it isn't. We need to talk.

That's... That's how you become friends.

We have been talking.

No, we haven't, Guy. You've been interrogating me.

Guy, real friends, they communicate.

A real friend is a special person that you want to spend time with.

Aren't you ever lonely, Guy?

Isn't there a need for someone special in your life?

Well, uh, I network with the other account reps, we consult.

Consult? What is that about, huh?

I'm talking about long lunches.

Do you guys ever go out for margaritas or just hang out at a bar?

Well, that's a little difficult for me, Maggie.

Oh, what's so difficult about it?

Let me ask you a question, Guy.

Boxers or briefs, huh?

What?

It's a simple question. Just press one for briefs, two for boxers.

I see you as a boxers guy.

You know, that uptight corporate type.

Proceeding with the retinal scan.

Whoa, whoa! Wait, wait, wait a minute

I'm just doing my job.

I'm sorry I brought up your underwear,

Confirming subject, given name Maggie Beckett.

Resides San Francisco, California.

Spending habits, non-cooperative, low purchase quotas.

Maintains no outstanding balance.

Carries zero debt. Repeat, zero debt.

That's unusual. It seems you are in our records after all.

You've already been processed.

Thank God for my duplicate.

And you've been a very bad girl, haven't you?

Hardly using your credit card. What's wrong with you?

Don't you like shopping?

Yes, it's just not the most important thing in my life.

That is a very dangerous thing to say.

Your return to society will have to be delayed.

Oh, no, no forget it.

I am so sick and tired of you people.

You have no right, okay,

to my private information, thoughts or otherwise,

and you have no right to keep me here.

I want out now!

You're to begin basic buyer behavior and credit card counseling

first thing tomorrow.

After three weeks you should be fit to return to society

a fine upstanding consuming citizen.

Is that clear?

I thought we were friends, Guy!

Can't you stop this?

Guy!

Guy!

I am sorry, Maggie.

Hey, why don't we just take the same route in that Maggie did?

You mean the scoop express?

And end up being processed like she was?

It's a bad idea.

Look, it should be a piece of cake.

All we do is we lure a scoop in,

we climb aboard

and then we take a joyride into Data Universal.

Those things hit their victim with some kind of force field

before they capture them.

If we all get zapped, we'll be pretty helpless.

I am ready to rock.

Been standing downwind of them for too many years.

Time to stop running and fight.

Sorry.

Okay, we give it a shot.

Let's go.

Welcome to the waiting room.

Data Universal thanks you for spending time with us.

Hello, I'm James.

Welcome to the waiting room.

Maggie Beckett.

Okay, are you being reprocessed here too?

No, I'm a refuser.

Call me a prisoner of conscience.

Well, I guess I'm one of those, too.

At least I refused to make the ridiculous choices

my account rep wanted me to.

Hmm. Good for you.

But if they're reprocessing you,

they must think you have promise.

You could be out of here soon.

Yeah, how long have you been here?

Six years.

Please present data number.

Open the pod bay door, Hal.

Insert data number.

Please press one.

I have scoop-sign!

Now!

Go! Go! Go!

Come on, sucker!

Diana!

Your mama!

Go!

Bummer!

I'm gonna feel that tomorrow.

My friends and I, we refused to be processed,

sorted, filed and coded by the computer.

That's a crime?

Technically, no,

but Data Universal, they couldn't quite figure out what to do with us.

They consider us incomplete files.

So they put us in here. The waiting room.

What right do they have to keep you here?

No, it was our choice.

We refused to use their credit so we have no rights as citizens.

What are you in for?

Not charging enough I guess.

Ah, yeah.

"Crank up those balances. Come on, don't worry. Charge it now. Pay later."

They'll indoctrinate you and you'll be out by the end of the week.

No, I have to... I have to be out much sooner.

I have friends I have to meet on the outside.

You got friends on the outside?

Yes.

And I'm sure they're very worried about me.

Here it comes again!

Okay, Remmy, get its attention.

What?

Get its attention.

Hey, hey, hold up there! Hey!

Look over here!

Come on, come on.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Come on.

Come on. Come on.

Get down, get down.

Nice job.

Now are we gonna be able to drive this thing?

Ever hear of a hotwire?

Matter of fact, I have.

So why don't you show me your style.

Can I get to see my account rep again?

Don't know why not.

No, I mean face to face.

I don't know about that.

That's never been done before.

Personal contact between the company and the customer.

It's unheard of.

They think I'm somebody else.

I really sensed that I was reaching this guy, Guy.

Guy?

That's what I call him.

Well, didn't he have a number?

5579-A.

Oh, he's one of the new ones.

Well, I'm sure we can call him up on the computer.

Arlo, you guys okay?

Yeah. Hit it.

So, did you ever get busted?

What are you talking about?

Guy steals enough cars, odds are, he gets popped.

I mean, that wasn't your first wire job.

I was into it for sport, not profit.

I didn't have the money for a car,

and I didn't like society on the bus.

What's a boy to do on a late night?

Wire up a nice ride, drop it off later

and sometimes I'd even top off the gas tank.

Yeah.

Had a cousin that was just like that.

Hmm.

Couldn't keep a job.

Never held his own.

Keeping him out of trouble was like having a second fulltime job.

I don't need you to watch over me, okay?

Then you watch yourself.

'Cause we're a team.

We really can't use a hot dog.

I was a wild kid, made my share of troubles,

but I'm different now, okay?

Five years in a wheelchair does that.

Fair enough.

Listen, no hard feelings about that little credit problem.

We're still friends, right?

Hard feelings?

Of course not.

Listen, I was thinking,

how about dinner?

Yes, your dinner will be served promptly through the chutes at...

No, no...

I was thinking dinner between you and me as friends.

We're still friends, right?

Yes, but I'm afraid dinner between us is impossible.

Is there anything else I can do for you?

Well, you could do me a little favor as a friend.

I'm really anxious about getting my credit balances up, you know.

Spend, spend, spend.

So, uh, can I order out, friend?

This is not a service we normally provide, friend,

but for you I'll make an exception.

Use the customer station to order anything you like.

Thank you, so much, Guy.

I really appreciate this more than you know.

I'm glad to see you're getting with the program.

You know, once I took a solemn vow

never to set foot on their soil again.

But I gotta tell you,

it feels good to be back in the game.

I wonder what they did with my old office?

Ah!

Uh, maybe we could get inside the mainframe,

trip up a program or two.

Maybe crash the thing?

You know how to do that?

I've been known to work a miracle or two.

Maybe we could do some good.

We're talking hacking here.

Hacking Data Universal's mainframe.

I like it. I like it a lot!

Should I blast through?

Oh, man, man, what's this?

It's the same beam that scanned Diana.

It's checking out the scoop's ID.

Confirming vehicle 775.

Arlo.

Where do you think they're holding our friend?

It could be anywhere. This place goes on forever.

May take that long to find her.

No way.

It's gonna have to be done in exactly two and a half hours.

So, are we gonna be eating or cleaning tonight?

You're going to lose your appetite in a minute.

Fertilizer.

So, are you going to tell me what this is?

Just a bomb.

All right.

Just in case the first one doesn't do the job,

here's a second one.

Put a wick on it.

Tape it up.

Hey.

Okay, excuse me everyone.

I'm going to blow the door.

So when I tell you to get down,

make sure you do it.

Come over here.

Oh, you can get down now.

Make a wish.

Let's go.

Come on.

Your example of political conscience

is no good unless the people on the outside know about it.

- Okay. Okay. - So, which way to the exit?

I don't... I think this way.

What do you mean? You don't know?

Six years is a long time.

I think it's left.

No, right.

Well, which?

Ah, right.

Oh, come on.

Hey, hey, hey, wait, wait. Where are you going?

Before I go, I want to visit my account rep.

Here it is.

Press two for account balances.

Press three for a review of purchases.

Press four to locate your account representative.

Press... Ah, Maggie.

I didn't expect you here.

You're a computer.

Of course. What did you think I was?

I'll shut him up.

What are you doing? Maggie, stop him!

Put him down.

Thank you, Maggie.

Now is there anything I can do for you?

Let's get out of here.

I thought you were Guy.

Press two for account balances. Press three...

I can't.

You're a refuser. You bucked the system.

I know.

The truth,

I'm afraid.

If I go out there uncoded,

I won't survive.

Of course you will.

Come on, James. I don't have time to argue with you.

You gotta take my word for it,

you will survive without Big Brother taking care of you.

Besides, there are people out there that need you to show them the way.

Me?

I couldn't do that.

James!

James!

Your cousin, the one you had to look after.

He was a pain in the ass?

Yeah, just like you.

So did he turn out okay?

A month after I left home, he died.

What happened?

Dead is dead.

The point is, he never learned anything.

He never grew.

And I would just hate to see that happen to you, Mallory.

What is this?

This is where they would have brought your friend.

Looks like a chute.

Yeah, they got a lot of chutes here.

It's a way in. That's all that counts.

It'll probably bring us closer to where Maggie's located.

You wanna go first?

After you.

Just like that?

You have no idea where it goes,

and you're just gonna jump in and slide to who knows where?

Actually, we do it all the time.

You're just going to stand there?

Whoa!

Wait, wait a minute. You'll get lost down there.

We'll be okay.

Thanks for bringing us this far. You were a great help.

Ah, heck.

Was that fun or what?

Oh, I'll tell you as soon as the feeling comes back into my butt.

Hello, and good day from all your friends at Data Universal.

I'm 5579-A

and I'll be your personal account representative.

- Who's this? - Ah, some account rep.

Welcome to Data Universal.

Please place your barcode bracelet up to the screen

So we can process your reapplication as quickly as possible.

Out of the frying pan, into the fire?

Not even close.

Lucky for you, folks, I came along after all.

I got this one from a CEO.

Security access override.

Thank you for using Data Universal.

Where the customer is always right.

Maggie, what are you doing?

Sorry, Guy, I'm leaving.

Is that how you treat a friend?

Excuse me?

You betrayed my trust.

I unwittingly helped you to escape.

Do you have any idea how much trouble I'm in?

You're a computer.

And that makes me less of a person?

Do you know what you've done to my customer platinum performance rating, huh?

I'm sorry.

I'm in really big trouble.

Look, Guy, you had no right to nab me in the first place.

Your account is being passed to Sector Control.

Searching 36041688-A.

Please confirm transmission.

Who are you?

This is Sector Control.

Please report to my office, Miss Beckett.

There's some unfortunate bureaucratic foul-ups that need to be set right.

Just, uh, you can go through the door right in front of you.

Security overseer to Sector 9.

That's better.

Would you like to sit down.

At last, a real person.

No, I would not like to sit down.

I would like to get out of here.

Hmm, well, um, we have a serious problem

and it requires an immediate resolution.

Someone with your account number

purchased a leather handbag in Geneva this morning.

- So? - Well,

your account is being used by somebody else,

and dual accounts are against the company policy.

Now, we've followed her activity patterns all day long

and they correspond to the Maggie Beckett that we have on file.

Your activity patterns do not,

which brings us to the conclusion

that she is the real Maggie Beckett.

Well, you see, I can explain that.

Since there cannot be two identical files,

we must initiate our overwrite policy.

- Overwrite policy? - Mmm-hmm.

We're canceling your access to the Beckett account

and deleting you.

Deleting me?

Mmm-hmm.

Maggie, what's going on?

This is my prom date! What do you think is going on?

They're taking me to my execution!

Ouch!

Overseer 791, this is 5579-A.

I have a few questions for the customer.

Are you talking about a deletion?

Don't make it sound so antiseptic.

Is there anything you can do?

That apparatus falls under the direct operation of Sector Control.

I have no access to it.

And he'll want you to move again in a minute.

Yeah, well, thanks anyway.

Did you do that?

Not bad, if I do say so myself.

But you must go. I don't know how long the doors will hold it.

Thanks, Guy, you're a real pal.

Pal.

I think I like that.

Man, I put in a lot of hours around this place.

Until that hotshot replaced me, that is.

Come on.

Worker bees are still at it.

Some things never change.

There's my old office.

What'd they do, fire the cleaning service?

Please press one for mileage points.

Press two for a new menu in time-share choices.

You!

You're the guy who replaced me.

I was replaced by a computer!

It's okay, Arlo. It happens to a lot of people.

Arlo, you've come back to us.

Shouldn't you be in processing?

Just ignore that overrated calculator.

We've got 15 minutes to find Maggie.

Maggie Beckett? Do you know Maggie Beckett?

Yes. Yeah, we're her friends. Now where is she?

- You're her friends? - Yes!

I'm her friend, too. At least I think I am.

Where is she?

At the moment she's running for her life down Corridor 135, Section 2.

135, Section 2.

135, Section 2.

Maggie!

Oh, Remmy, you guys!

Oh! We don't have time to talk.

What the hell is that?

- The long arm of Data Universal. - Let's move it!

Get something to block the door!

That won't be necessary.

Is that what I think it is?

You can get anything you want here if you please press one.

You are something, girl.

All right, everybody, stand back.

Hell of a party, Maggie.

Too bad it's over in five minutes.

I don't know about you guys but I'm partied out.

You know, I bet it wouldn't take a lot to crash their computer system.

It doesn't even seem like they have

a fundamental lockout or password protection system.

They didn't think they would need it.

If you guys are suggesting we take out their computer,

I don't think that's such a good idea.

This is our friend Arlo. He helped us to find you.

Hi, Arlo.

Arlo, I have a new friend in here.

And I'm not sure what would happen to him if we crashed their system.

Besides, like it or not, this place needs Data Universal.

Without it or at least some training and knowhow,

I don't think this world will survive.

I did.

Yeah, Arlo here has been living outside the system for years.

They're going to need a good teacher.

Hell, I'm your guy.

James, this man here

is gonna teach you how to survive on your own without Data Universal.

Now you can be the example you always wanted to be.

What do you think?

Well, I think we can do this.

All right.

All right, are we done fixing these peoples' world?

It's not a fix. You know, we can't solve all their problems.

They're gonna have to do that on their own.

I can help too.

All right, I think the three of you would make an incredible team.

Does this mean it's the dawning of a new age in customer service relations?

Only if you believe in miracles.

Ready, people?

Three, two...

Maggie!

Goodbye!

Goodbye, friend.