Original subtitles

[instrumental music]

- Yeah, right. Hey, Cole. - What?

Gotta get some tickets to see Keith Sweat in concert.

Why Keith Sweat? What's with him? Is he hot?

Yeah, right.

Yo, man, Keith don't sing. He begs.

Why you gonna hurt me girl.

Why, why, why are we watching Keith Sweat?

[theme song]

♪ Martin ♪

♪ Martin ♪

♪ Martin ♪

♪ Lawrence ♪

♪ How y'all been? ♪

♪ Martin ♪

♪ Martin ♪

♪ Martin ♪

♪ Lawrence ♪ ♪ He's so crazy! ♪

♪ Martin ♪

♪ Martin ♪

♪ Lawrence ♪ ♪ How y'all been? ♪

♪ Martin ♪

♪ Martin ♪

♪ Martin ♪ ♪ Lawrence ♪♪

[instrumental music]

You want me to make you some tea, girl?

- Hey, ladies. - Okay, what's up?

- Alright? - What's the matter?

What?

Pam, forget about him.

He wasn't any good for you anyway.

That's not true, Gina.

He never ever stole from me.

Pam, he dumped you after you caught him

in bed with another woman.

But he said that she was his cousin.

That doesn't make it right, Pam.

Uh, excuse me.

But I can't help but overhear.

Are you talking about that little waterhead brother

you used to go out with?

- Uh-huh. - Aw, damn it!

What is it, Pam?

The fifth brother that done dogged you this year?

I would hate to think it's you.

Martin, come on. Ease up on her, man.

Can't you see she's upset?

Hey, look, Tommy, man, alright.

Pam got a bad attitude and a nasty mouth.

And somebody should tell her.

[bawling]

Pam, come on.

Oh, come on, now don't..

Uhh!

See, Martin, that was totally unnecessary.

You already saw she was upset.

What? What? What did I say? I'm trying to help her out.

If I had a bad attitude and a nasty mouth

I'd want someone to tell me.

Martin, your attitude leaves a lot to be desired.

You can be gone! Okay?

You can raise up out of here.

Poor Pam. I wish she could find a good man.

What about me?

Uh, Cole..

...I don't think that's a good idea.

Gina, you ought to be minding your business, alright?

You really ought to be minding your business.

Now, if Cole wants to ask Pam out

hey, you got my blessing, brah.

You know what, Cole, you got my blessing, too, brother.

I think you should ask her.

She can use a good laugh.

Pow-oops!

Cole, you really wanna ask her out?

- Yeah, I do. - You do?

- Yeah. - Alright. Well, look here.

How do you plan on going about that, my brother?

Oh, well, you know, I was thinking about it, right.

And I'm going to impress her.

How?

I know 17 different bird calls.

Ooh ooh ooh ooh ah ah ah ah!

E-e-e-e-e!

Hee hee hee hee!

Yeah, that's the Colombian Peckerhead.

Wow!

Yah-hah!

- That's lovely! - Yeah. Yeah.

Yo, any woman would fall for that.

That's what I figured.

You alright, honey?

Hey, look here.

Uh..

...Pam.

Look here, I'm sorry about what I said. You know.

I was just playing. Come on, now. Look.

You got something in your eye.

Let me get it, okay?

Right in the cracks. Right up in here.

Something right here.

Okay.

Alright?

Martin, Gina may fall for your stupid apologies

but I'm not. So, step off!

She's all warm for you.

Hey, Pam.

What, Cole?

Ooh ooh ooh ooh ah ah ah ah!

E-e-e-e-e!

That's a Colombian Peckerhead.

That's really nice, Cole.

Now, could you do a pigeon so I could run you over with my car?

No, really, Cole, do a pigeon.

Cole, Cole, Cole, Cole.

Did you get the number?

What?

Wha..

Cock-a-doodle-doo!

[instrumental music]

Rashidi, do you have any press-on nails?

- No. - Hmm.

But I have a glass eye.

Only kidding.

You're so corny.

Oh, please, don't shoot me.

[laughing] I got you again.

Where are the nails?

In the back..

...by the goat milk.

Whew!

Another satisfied customer without a..

...violent exchange.

♪ Uh-uh-uh ♪

♪ Jerome in the house ♪

♪ I think you're going ah-ooh ah-ooh out! ♪♪

Oh!

What's up, Bob Marley?

Look here, man, don't look at me like that.

I didn't shoot the sheriff.

Look here, man. Ain't you ever heard of a hot comb?

Press it out. You got to press it out.

Alright.

Looking no-no good, Rashidi.

- Jerome. - What's up, man?

- My soul brother. - What's up, man?

Oh!

Look here, man.

Rashidi, man, hook me up with some Tic-Tacs.

You know, my breath.. I don't want that stinking, you know.

And a box of extra large condoms..

Uh, the kind you dream about.

[laughing]

Didn't know I knew how to speak that stuff, did you, huh?

That's right. I'm an international player.

You know, what I'm saying? Yeah. Uh-huh.

Look at me. Let me get ready and get out of here

head on over to the club

pick up one of my little girls, you know.

Oh...damn!

Stop the presses. Wait a minute.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute, I know you.

Wait a minute.

Your name must be bunny.

'Cause you look so fluffy!

Yeah. Ain't that right?

Are you for real?

Girl, I'm realer than a $2 bill.

Now, I know what you're thinking.

How can a woman like you get with a brother like me?

Ain't that right?

Come on, now. Ain't that right?

[laughing]

Hey, hey. Wait, wait, wait.

I don't mean to touch you. So you ain't got to go there.

What's all this giggling about?

You ain't got to giggle. You know what I'm saying.

Let me tell you something

when you ready to get that giggle out of you

here's my number..

Here's a dime.

Call Jerome the man..

...anytime.

If you need someone to talk to..

...call me.

Satisfaction guaranteed.

Call me.

If you need somebody to talk to, fluffy.

I'll do you right.

"Jerome the international lover.

Fly me."

You fool.

Hey! Hey.

[Cole laughs] Get off me, Cole!

Yo, look here, I'm glad I ran into you.

Check this out though.

Bam! Two tickets to the Luther Vandross

concert tomorrow night.

- Ho! - Ho!

Hold up.

Now, why don't you tell me where you live, Pam and..

...I'll come get you. We could go.

Cole, you know, I would never let you know where I live.

Now, excuse me.

Where you get tickets from, anyway?

Well, don't worry about all that, Pam.

- Just tell me where you live? - I don't trust you, Cole.

[knock on door]

- Who is it? - 'It's Pam.'

Oh, Lord.

Hey, girl.

Girl, I got a date.

Wha..

- When? - About two minutes.

Get out. Well, what're you doing here, then?

Well, see, I told him to meet me here.

'Cause I don't want him to know where I lived.

[gasps]

- I'm sorry. - That's alright.

I did the same thing with Martin.

Don't worry about that.

See, last night I was kinda feeling depressed

about breaking up with David so..

I thought it'd be nice that I go out with somebody...different.

Okay. So who is he?

- Promise me, you won't laugh. - I promise, girl.

- Would you tell me? - Cross your heart, hope to die.

Forget it. He's already here.

- Well, wait, Gina. Wait. - I'll know who it is anyway.

Jerome's in the house.

Where's my little cotton tail?

[instrumental music]

Now-now, Gina, are you sure

that it was Jerome she went out with?

Tommy, the brother with the gold tooth and the superfly perm?

Yeah. That's Jerome, alright.

Baby..

...I'm gonna tell you like this..

Pam on that stuff.

Martin, she's not on that stuff, okay?

Gina, have you noticed?

I think one of her front teeth are rotten.

It's not!

Her last boyfriend must have really hurt her badly.

- Hey, guys. - Hey, girl.

Gina, the concert was slamming. And we had a great time.

You and Jerome?

Yes, me and Jerome.

And don't you know he picked me up in a limousine?

You mean that green one that's lowered in the back

with the pipes on the side?

Shut up, Martin.

Yes, the green one.

Uh-huh. Shut up, Gina.

Anyway, he took me backstage

and I got a chance to meet Luther Vandross.

And at the end of the night, Jerome gave me this.

- That's nice. - That's really nice, Pam.

Hey, did he also take you to the jewelry store he stole it from?

[laughing]

Is that what you all think?

Hey, that is not what I think, okay?

I think some prostitute left it in the limo about 20 years ago.

And you are now the recipient of it.

I don't care what anybody thinks.

So what Jerome's had a couple of bad breaks?

He's a nice guy and we had a nice time

at the concert last night.

And for your information

I'm gonna with him again tonight.

'Mm.'

So, it's like that then, Pam.

Like what, Cole?

Oh, so you went to the concert last night

with Jerome, didn't you?

Yeah. So? Anyway..

Oh! Oh! Oh! Okay, okay, then. Alright.

So, you can go to a concert with Jerome

but you can't go with me?

Alright, then. Alright be like that, Pam.

See, he's gonna dump you, and when he does

you're gonna come running back to me.

Cole Bram, yes.

Oh, but I'll have somebody else by then.

On the French Riviera.

Yeah. Yeah. Me and my brown Goddess

we gonna be nude, Pam.

Nude! And you..

You're gonna come begging me! That's right.

That's right. But, see, I ain't gonna be able to hear you

'cause of all the tropical sounds going on over there.

You know, ooh ooh ooh ooh ah ah ah!

Ooh ooh ah ah ah!

Ah! Boo hoo ah!

What's up with the bird sounds?

You know..

I had always had a little thing

for Dorothy in the "Wizard Of Oz."

You know, what I'm saying?

And I wanted to get with that, but she was tribbing, you know.

But look here, they tell me I look like Denzel Washington.

Excuse me. Jerome, step off.

Man, who is this little young whippersnapper

running all up into my combo? Man, please.

Hey, I'm telling you, stay away from Pam.

Look here. I got to handle something, okay? You be cool.

Watch yourself. Okay?

- What-what-what- what, Pam? - Yeah.

That's not your woman, man. Pam's not your girl.

- What's your name? - Cole Bram.

- Oh, okay! You go. - Oh, yeah. Yeah.

- Alright, you the virgin. - Yeah, no, no, no.

Yo, who told you that? That ain't true.

Oh, man, yes, it is. Look at you.

You're all wet behind your ears.

Breath smelling like similac.

Man, you better go on home before you get your

little thick ass tossed up.

I don't want you hurting Pam.

You got that? Everybody knows you're a dog.

See, why it got to be all that, young buck?

Why it got to be all that, you know what I'm saying?

Yeah, everybody knows I'm a player.

You know what I'm saying? Everybody knows I had more girls

than Jerry's got curls. Yes, so what? You hear?

But I changed, man.

Pam's got class.

Enough class to make Jerome settle down.

You know, what I'm saying? Huh?

- Now, go home-- - Hold on! hold on!

What make you think she wanna settle down

with a lowlife like you, Jerome?

You little young punk, you just got hurt.

Let's go man, let's go.

No, no, no! No, no, no!

Not in my store, no!

You pick up your mess!

No, no, no!

No, no, no!

Be quiet! Be quiet! Be quiet!

Have we not learned anything

from the recent uprising in L.A.?

Huh?

Can't we all just..

...take this across the street

to the Korean store?

- Hey, yo. Hey, hey! - You're a punk!

What.. Hey, yo, I'm telling you, Jerome. Yo, you hurt Pam

I'm gonna stick my foot so far down your throat

we're gonna be walking home together.

You better carry your little baby brother home!

You better carry your little baby brother home!

You understand? You're the sucker! You understand?

I don't play that, you understand?

Yo, I'm a grown man. You better respect your elders.

- Jerome, calm down. - No, man!

This young boy comes running up on me.

I'm from the old school.

You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying?

I was getting ready to get the captain up in here.

You know what I'm saying?

That's where I'm at with mine.

- No, no. - You know, I'm sorry, Rashidi.

I-I don't.. I'm on probation, you know what I'm saying?

Look here, man. I'm sorry, Rashidi, man.

Come on. Love. Give me love.

- Okay? - Okay.

Okay? Alright.

Well, look, I'm gonna roll up on out of here, man.

'Cause look here, I'm a lover, man, not a fighter.

You know what I'm saying? I do what I got to do though.

Ain't that right, Malika? My little superfreak.

But look here, man, I'm gonna get out of here

call my boys and then

let them know these little young boys tripping.

You know what I'm saying?

Ha ha! Aha! Yeah!

- Oh! - You're crazy.

Yeah.

You in Jerome's house now.

Take that coat. Throw it anywhere, girl.

Make yourself at home. Come on now.

Uh, this is something else, Jerome.

- Yeah. - I'm speechless.

You like this, huh?

Well, I thought you would. I thought you would. You know.

Alright, let me show you around over here.

- Okay. - I'm proud of this.

Right here, see.

I won this back in 1973

at the James Brown look-alike contest. I was like..

♪ Give it to me now, give it to me now-now ♪

♪ Give it to me now ♪♪

You know, I was a bad boy, I tell you.

Come on over here. Sit down there, girl.

I'm gonna tell you girl when I was coming up, you know

I'm a player, I wasn't always ripping and running

you know what I'm saying?

I was one of the first brother to ever audition

for the Starlight.

- Oh, do something. - Check it out. Check it out.

♪ Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪

♪ Ooh ooh ooh ♪♪

Ah!

- That's really nice, Jerome. - Thank you.

Alright, girl. Excuse me.

I noticed you were looking at this here.

- What is it? - Huh?

What is here?

This is real zebra.

I got this from the city zoo when the zebra died.

You know what I'm sayin'? Yeah.

See, some of my boys down there took care of me.

Now, they tell me there's a panda on life support

that's about to kick any day. Want me to hook you up?

No, really, that's okay.

Okay. 'Cause they got sick monkeys

down there and everything.

Jerome, that's disgusting.

Alright, you let Jerome know. You know what I'm saying?

But I know what you in the mood for, girl. I know.

- Tell me! - There.

[disco music]

♪ She's a brick house ♪

♪ She's mighty fine yeah ♪♪

Babe, you gotta show me how to do this!

Okay, come on, girl! Yeah!

Do the penguin! Do the penguin!

Oh! Do the bump with me, girl.

My grandfather used to do these.

Yeah, well, he ain't doing it now.

Ah, yeah.

This is just great!

You feel the same way I do, don't you?

- Yeah, I do. - Well, we gotta talk.

- Alright. This is it. - Girl..

Ahh!

You got me thinkin' about settling down.

[giggling]

[choking]

Settling down?

I'm thinking about settling down with you.

Would you like that?

We'll have a couple of little Jeromes

running around here, you know what I'm saying?

Raise them right. You know what I'm saying?

Take them to the players' picnic.

Hold it! Wait a minute, Jerome.

- You goin' a little too fast. - What are you saying?

You know, I ain't ready to have your baby and nothing like that.

Oh, yes, yes. You are. Sure, you are.

Girl, them hips are just screaming for twins.

They screaming.

I'm sorry that I don't feel the same way you do

but I mean, the only reason why I went out with you

was because I was feeling kinda down and..

...you cheered me up.

Stop the presses!

Stop the damn presses!

Are you telling me, you used Jerome

for your entertainment purposes, huh?

- No, no, that's not what I'm-- - No! No! No!

I could've got into you, and you played me.

Aw, damn!

You know, it did..

It seems like I'm always getting hurt

by some damn woman!

Oh!

You know, now..

...it seems like..

...I was gonna give you the world.

I was gonna give you all this.

All this was gonna be yours.

I wasn't gonna make you sign no prenuptial.

I never saw a player cry before.

Yeah, well, that's because I'm hurting, okay?

I got more tears than a white man's got fears.

Jerome, don't give me those player lines.

What, you heard that one before?

Plenty of times.

Damn! I'm slipping.

- I got to work on my acting. - Yes, you do.

Yeah, well, whatever.

But, Jerome, I'm sorry and I.. I didn't mean to use you.

I mean, I didn't wanna lead you on or anything like that.

- Yeah, well.. - Let me give you your chain--

No, no, no. Now, you keep that now.

Alright. Now, Jerome don't be giving nobody nothing

and taking it back, okay?

You just make sure you keep up the payments on it, okay?

$4.95 a month. Cashier's check or money order.

Make it out to "Fong Wong's Jewelry Emporium."

Alright? Okay.

- Thanks, Jerome. - Thank you.

- Jerome? - Yeah, girl.

- You done changed your mind? - No!

I just wanted to tell you that for the record

if I met you in a different time frame

let's say around...1975

we would have had it going on.

What? Would you have given to me?

I would have given it to you.

Girl, you better stop.

You're bringing back memories up in here.

Oh, take care.

Alright.

Mm-mm-mm-mm-mmm.

Girl, it must be something in the water..

'Cause you sure enough got a lot of junk in your trunk.

- Take care now. - Look out!

Alright, baby.

Ha ha ha!

Damn!

And I didn't get a chance to hit that.

Oh, well, I'm still a player, you know what I'm saying?

[phone dialing] You move on. That's all. You just move on.

Hello, Oprah.

Yeah, this is Jerome.

Can you talk?

[instrumental music]

Pam, you finally got the chance to dump a guy. How does it feel?

It felt good, Tommy. I'd like to do it again.

So how about it? You wanna be my boyfriend?

No, baby, I don't think you can handle it.

Why?

Look at the size of my shoe.