Original subtitles

Let's just keep on movin', people.

Let's just keep on moving.

Alright. You don't wanna get all this mad.

Come on, man. Why don't you get on the move?

Yeah. Keep on laughing, lady. Just keep on laughing.

Teeth so yellow when you smile. Slow down.

Just keep on moving people. Let's just keep on moving.

You don't wanna get all this mad.

Excuse me. May I know where is the elevator?

What? Wh-what that floor you're looking for?

Number 4.

What you wanna do, okay, is just say it around here

just say "elevator".

Okay? Let me give you, uh, elevator, alright.

Whenever you get in trouble with a word

you wanna use your vowels, okay.

El-la-va-tor.

Now, why don't you go look for some vowels.

- Thank you. - 'No.'

Thank God you're on radio 'cause

you're ugly as hell. Now go on..

Let's go. Move people. Let's go.

Yo, grown folks, let's go. Let's move.

Come on. Come on. Come on.

- Let's go. - Okay.

[theme song]

♪ Martin ♪

♪ Martin ♪

♪ Martin ♪

♪ Lawrence yeah ♪

♪ How y'all been? ♪

♪ Martin ♪

♪ Martin ♪

♪ Martin ♪

♪ Lawrence yeah ♪

♪ He's so crazy! ♪

♪ Martin ♪

♪ Martin ♪

♪ Lawrence yeah ♪

♪ How y'all been? ♪

♪ Martin ♪

♪ Martin ♪

♪ Martin ♪

♪ Lawrence ♪♪

[instrumental music]

Hi, I'm Bonnie DeShong from WGCI Chicago.

Welcome to Detroit. Go right in.

Thank you.

Uh, Vinny Brown, program director

and Wendy Williams, Kiss-FM New York City.

There you are. Go right in and enjoy.

Okay, will do. Okay, man.

Whazzup!

Beautyhead..

Martin Payne in the house!

WZUP, Detroit's in the house!

What's that name again?

Martin Payne. WZUP, Detroit.

Whazzup!

Well, I'm sorry, you're not in this register.

[chuckles] What you might want to do is check that list again. Okay?

It should say "Martin 'What's Up' Payne."

Whazzup? Whazzup? Whazzup!

I'm sorry.

You're not in this register.

- You gonna gimme one of these. - You gonna get out of here!

You don't want me to call Otis.

Hi. Frank Lozano, Power 106.

- Let's go.. - Yo, man! What's up, man?

They acting like they don't know me up in here!

She's saying I ain't on the list.

Martin, you're not on the list.

I ain't paying $25 to get you in here, man.

We're going in through the back door, okay?

Sean's in the kitchen.

As soon as he gets us each a broom

we're going to follow him into the ballroom, okay?

You know what, Stan, I'm out of here, man!

Alright! Alright! Alright! Martin, so touchy.

Look, you pay the $25, and I'll reimburse you.

$25? Stan, you still owe me $3, man, that I lent you

to buy them condoms.

Well, Martin, as long as I owe you, you'll never go broke.

Excuse me, Martin, there are four ladies here.

This is a convention. That can only mean one thing.

What's that, Stan?

I'm going to be owing you another $3.00.

Excuse me.

Na na na na.

Excuse me. That's my fault.

Oh, hey, you're that guy who got thrown out of line.

Um, are you having trouble getting in

'cause I've got an extra badge.

No. No, no, I'm cool. No, hey know me up in here.

What? Ha-ha-ha. Don't you go ahead now.

No, no. See, I'm on the VIP list.

So I'll be going in about 30 minutes.

You know they want us to make an entrance.

I see. Well, I.. Maybe I'll see you inside then.

- Oh, most definitely. Ha ha! - Bye.

Martin, Martin. What did she say to you, man?

- What? - Don't you know who that is?

That's Monica Hurd, she's got the top

talk radio show in Florida.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. That little woman?

Yeah, man, now rumor has it

that she's in town looking tonight to jump stations.

Yeah, well, I tell you I bet she'll jump right over ours.

No, man, not when I lay out the red carpet

and show her the class that WZUP has to offer.

Hey! Hey, you guys! Stan, I got the brooms!

Come on! The security guard's in the bathroom!

Let's go, Martin. Now look, hide your face.

Hide your face.

[instrumental music]

Hey, Martin. You missed the after-party last night.

Man, it was wild. I didn't get home till the sun came up.

Sean! You was partying all night?

No. Actually, I left at 11 o'clock

but I-I got jumped in the alley.

And I didn't wake up till the garbageman woke me.

But still, it was a wild party.

Sean, are you alright?

When I saw those two guys hassling you in the alley

last night, I was going to get out and help

but then the light changed.

Oh, man. Thanks, Stan!

Okay, man.

Say, uh, Martin, congratulate me.

I am a genius

and my picture will be on the cover

of "Black Enterprise" magazine.

[chuckles] Stan, that's beautiful, man!

I hope you ain't thinking about wearing that suit, though.

- Uh, good one, Mart-in. - Oh-oh.

Now look, Mart, you remember Monica Hurd

whom you met at the convention yesterday?

- Yeah. - Yeah. Well, uh, Martin, ahem..

She's going to be working here.

And you see with her on your show

uh, you'll be getting the male listeners

and she'll be getting the female listeners.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa. My show? - Uh-huh.

- She ain't doing my show. - Yes, she is, Martin.

No, she's not, man. I do my show the way you make love..

Alone.

Martin, what I do at the toll booth

while I'm waiting for my change

is my own business.

- Hi. Hey, remember me? - Hi.

- Hi. How you doing? - How you doing?

Yes, Mart-in

this is your new co-host, Miss Monica Hurd.

And I want you both to have a seat

and boost my ratings.

I've heard your tapes. You're really good.

I think we've got similar styles.

So, tell me, how do you want to do this?

The same way I did it yesterday.

By my damn self.

Okay..

5...4...3...2..

What up? Whazzup, Detroit?

Got a surprise.

I guess I got a cohost.

What's your name again?

Well, it looks like I'm gonna have to introduce myself.

Hello, Detroit. I'm Monica Hurd with the insane Martin Payne.

I'm his new cohost, and I can't tell you what an honor it is.

I think I need to let all of you ladies out there

in on something you probably don't know.

Martin is so good-looking in person.

He's got the cutest little face

and biggest brown eyes

ooh, and the sexiest ears.

They already know that. They know me out there.

Hello, my little ladies. Whazzup?

So, Martin, what's our topic today?

Unwanted guests.

Really? And how do you deal with that, sulk?

Oh, you a smart ass, huh?

I do alright.

[laughter]

So wait, so you're saying that a woman

would never be president.

No one wants somebody with PMS

to have their finger on the button.

I mean, one bad cramp, and "bye, we out."

What? You're wrong, silly.

If a woman was president, there'd be no wars.

And how you figure?

'Cause if we got mad at a country, we wouldn't bomb them.

We'd just talk about them behind their backs

and make fun of the way they dress.

Well, I think we got to get ready to get out of here.

I think my engineer's landing a 747.

Or maybe he's trying to dry his fingernail polish.

You go, girl!

Ah. Well, this is the insane Martin Payne.

And this is Monica Hurd

who always gets the last word.

This is the end of our first week together.

Aw, damn!

It went by so fast.

Well, we got to get out of here.

We see ya when we see ya. Peace!

[chuckles]

Oh, man. "Make fun of the way they dress"?

- That was pretty good. - Oh, you're pretty good.

Ah, well, I guess we're just damn good together, huh?

Well, you just wait, Martin. We just got started, honey.

The best is yet to come.

Yeah. Ha. Whoo.

I love being with you.

And thanks for making me feel so at home this week.

I'll see you Monday.

- Friendly girl. - Huh? Hey!

Who, Monica?

You always kiss your coworkers, Martin?

Aw, babe, come on, that wasn't a real kiss.

That was a-a granny kiss.

Like you kiss your grandmother. Mmm mmm. Kiss kiss.

You know, "Granny, can I have a dollar?"

Yes. Mmm.

That didn't look like a grandmother kiss

and she doesn't look much like a grandmother.

In fact, Martin, she looks nothing like you said.

What did I say?

You said she looked like Cole in a dress.

She did, babe, on Tuesday.

But the girl is making money now.

She really fixed herself up, didn't she?

- Yeah, I'll say. Yeah. - Hey, baby!

[chuckles] You know you're paranoid, you know that?

Paranoid? What? What are you talking about?

I mean, why are you here, Gina?

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh, I get it. You.. You spying on me,? huh?

Martin. You told me to meet you here for dinner.

[scoffs] I said that?

- Yes, Martin. - When, Gina?

Last night in bed.

Oh, that was you?

[laughing]

I'm just playing. I'm just playing.

Ha ha ha hell.

You ready to go?

What-what are you looking at, Sean?

Nothing.

Oh, oh, oh, okay so, I get it.

Okay. You thinking like she thinking, huh?

That me and Monica got something...

You know what? I ain't got to take this.

You know, you set me up! I ain't got to take this!

I'll be in the car, alright.

And why don't you make up a story about how me and Ginny

the parking lot attendant is having an affair. Huh?

Boy, I...I hope he isn't. She's...stank.

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

[knocking on door]

- Hey, hey. What's up, man? - Whoo!

Aah! Sha-ja-ja-ja-ja! Whoo! Ha ha!

My boys! My boys! I'm glad y'all came here, man.

I got problems!

What? What's wrong, man?

- I love Gina. - Yeah?

Hey, man, I been looking for her all my life.

I mean, she's the girl of my dreams.

So?

I can't see myself with anybody else.

I mean, she's all I think about.

So what's the problem?

You know my co-host Monica Hurd?

Yeah.

I want to knock her boots, man.

From here to Czechoslovakia, man.

So you're attracted to her, Martin!

So what? You are in control of that.

Man, at least she's not coming on to you.

She gave me the look, man.

What look?

Oh, man, I know that look.

Yo, man..

She wants me, man. She wants me bad, man!

She was giving me crazy rhythm, man!

Oh, Tom, Cole..

She grabbed the ears.

You know what that means when they lock down on the ears, man!

Oh! It's on.

It's on like.. Pop-pop-pop-pop-popcorn!

Okay. Alright. What are you going to do?

I don't know, man.

Wait. You don't know?

It's-it's all part of being a man, my brother.

You understand? See, it's your job to conquer that territory.

You climb that mountain and plant that flag.

You understand what I'm saying? It's the call of the wild.

You know.. Aroo-ooo!

It's the call of the wild.

Don't listen to him, Martin.

He doesn't even have a real relationship.

But you've got Gina. Don't be a fool, man.

I don't know, Tommy, man.

I don't know how long I can hold out.

Just tell her to stop messing with you, that's all.

Man, I ain't never turned no woman down before, man.

I have. It ain't a pretty sight, man. They cry, they beg.

They come after you with a knife.

But the good part about all of this is

if you play your cards right, you'll get to sleep with her

one last time.

And-and break-up sex is just the best sex you could ever have.

It's..

It's emotional.

Cole.. You stupid.

[knock on door]

- Hey, baby. Mmm, yum. - Hey.

- Hey, guys. - 'How you doing?'

What you doing here, baby?

I just had lunch with a client at the Jamaican restaurant.

I brought you some of that jerk chicken you like so much.

Oh! You brought me the jerky jerk?

Gina got the jerky jerk.

Gina, you know, we know you hate having us hang around

you know, so we going to be going, we gonna be going.

She does? I didn't know that.

There's a lot you don't know, Cole.

- Let's go. Come on. Okay.. - Yeah.

Why? Was there some man thing going on in here

that I just interrupted?

[chuckles] Girl, mmm.

I love you so much, you know that?

I am so glad you came here today.

Martin..

If this is what it takes, I'll bring you jerk chicken everyday.

[chuckles]

You are so funny.

And you're cute, too.

That's why you my baby. Mm-mm-mmh.

- Martin, what's up? - Nothing, baby.

I-I just got to go to work.

Gina...before I go to work..

...you got to tell me you love me.

I love you, Martin. What's wrong?

Alright! Whoo!

Ah! Nothing's wrong, baby. Just got to go to work.

[grunts]

Pray for me.

Well, this is Martin and Monica.

We got to get ready to get out of here.

See you when we see you. Peace!

Go ahead.

This has really been a hard week for me.

Me, too.

I want to thank you for making it so easy on me.

Whoa. Whoa. Easy? I'm not easy.

I mean what gave you that idea?

[laughs] You're so cute.

Would you please stop calling me cute?

Aah! Aah!

Listen, Monica, we got to talk, okay?

Alright, good, 'cause I got to talk to you.

You do?

Have you ever met someone special

but the timing was all wrong?

Yes!

Somebody that drives you wild

but you know that you can never have them.

Yes.

Martin, you feel this way, too?

I do! I do!

Man, I don't know how much longer

I can lie alone in my bed at night on fire..

Dreaming... and needing..

And wanting.

- A-aching? - Yes.

Ohh.

With this, with this burning fire

that only one man can extinguish.

I mean, all I been thinking about is

is a certain cologne and big brown eyes

and strong hands..

And how I want them all over me.

You know what I'm saying, Martin?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I do.

Sean, Sean, can you get me some ice water please?

Look, Monica..

I got to say something, alright?

And I don't like hurting people.

[grunts]

But I'm in love with Gina.

- I know that, Martin. - You do?

Yes.

And I'm in love with Stan.

Who?

Our boss, Stan.

Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait.

Cheap Stan?

Pimp suit-wearing Stan?

Yes, of course, Martin.

Oh! You didn't think I meant...

Hell, no! No!

Martin, he turned me down. I can't believe it.

I practically threw myself at him

and he just stood there and looked at me

like I owed him money.

God, I was so humiliated.

Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait.

Now let me get this straight.

- Stan turned you down? - Yeah.

And that's why I can't work here anymore.

Will you say goodbye to Stan for me?

I really don't wanna have to face him again.

Stan turned you down?

Yeah. Goodbye, Martin.

Uh, where's Monica?

She's gone, man. She quit.

Thank God!

Boy! She kept coming around, sniffing my cologne

gazing into my eyes, grabbing my hands.

Ohh.

Wait. Wait.

Stan, you turned her down, man?

You damn right, Martin!

What I want with a beautiful young woman?

I like my women old, fat, and ugly.

[instrumental music]

Martin.

Hmm?

You were attracted to Monica, weren't you?

- What? - Come on.

You might as well admit it.

[chuckles] No, I wasn't. Alright.

I mean, she was cute and all that

but I know what I got.

I didn't say all that.

I was just saying you were attracted to her.

- No, I wasn't. - Martin, it's no big deal.

I've had to work with men I've been attracted to.

That's before you met me, right?

No. Some were before you and some were after you.

Who, Gina?

I don't know.

Do they still work with you?

A few.

Okay, well, then I'm going to work

with you tomorrow. You're gonna point them out to me, alright.

Martin, that is stupid. Come on. It doesn't matter.

Because what we have is more important than all of that.

[laughs]

You're right! I'm acting all cra..

Like I was jealous and all that.

Like you're possessive or something like that.

[laughing]

You're so crazy. I love you.

I love you, too.

Ooh!

Ah!

Goodnight, Gina.

Goodnight, Darrell.

Who?

[Gina laughing]

[theme music]