Original subtitles

[eerie music]

[knocking on the door]

Who is it?

(Roscoe) 'It's Roscoe.'

Roscoe..

...It is 6 o'clock in the morning.

Does your mother know you're out?

Trick or treat, smell my feet, give me something good to eat.

Roscoe, Halloween is not until tomorrow night.

I don't even have any candy yet.

Good. See that's what I'm here for.

So buy these toffee, candies, they're only $20 a box.

I'm not paying that much.

That's to expensive.

Little witch.

That's why we can't get no way as a people.

I could bite you on your neck now.

I should break your neck. You better get out--

[clamoring]

Get out of here, you nasty old boy.

Get out of here and blow your nose.

You're dumb. I don't like you anyway.

[themes song]

♪ Martin ♪

♪ Martin ♪

♪ Martin ♪

♪ Lawrence yeah ♪

♪ How do y'all feel? ♪

♪ Martin ♪

♪ Martin ♪

♪ Martin ♪

♪ Lawrence, yah ♪

♪ He's so crazy ♪

♪ Martin ♪

♪ Martin ♪

♪ Lawrence, yah ♪

♪ How do y'all feel? ♪

♪ Martin ♪

♪ Martin ♪

♪ Martin ♪

♪ Lawrence ♪♪

[eerie music]

[screaming]

- Eeeww. - Aah aah.

Man.

[all] Aah!

[all] Ahh.

Man...this is stupid.

Oh, man.

Man, you may not have liked it, alright.

But that movie really scared me.

Cole, man, Ronald McDonald scares you.

[all laughing]

I thought I asked you not to tell nobody about that, man.

Well, I'm finished. What do you think?

What is it, babe?

It's my Halloween costume.

I thought I'd get dressed up for our little party tomorrow night.

Oh, that is nice!

Hey, hey, Martin, you dressing up?

[laughing]

Pull my ears?

Well, you know, that's very good, Tommy.

But I'm afraid that's the last.

You know I was going to go as your mother

but my hair's too long.

Keee! Tink!

Keee!

Well, I think it would be fun if you got dressed up.

- Uh-huh. - Yeah. So..

[evil laugh]

[screaming]

[laughing]

Martin, you scared me. I almost had a heart attack.

I'm sorry, babe. Just playing with you, alright.

Hey, hey, Martin, man, you shouldn't

scare people like that, man.

I jumped out and scared moms once, right?

Her bladder dropped.

Just like that, she had to have an operation.

Hey, that's because women scare easier than men, Coley Cole.

- What? - Sorry, baby, look.

It's a scientific fact.

When you go to a scary movie, who do you see

covering their eyes, digging their finger nails

into the person next to 'em screaming, "Can I look now?

Can I look now?"

Women.

That's why they scream just like little girls.

And you know it.

Ha ha!

You mean to tell me men don't get scared?

Only when you miss your period.

- Hey, what? - That's enough.

What? Babe..

I'm saying, baby, look, I'm saying other than that, we cool.

We straight.

Well, I get scared.

The ocean at night terrifies me.

It's all dark, and still and all you hear

the clang of the buoy in the distance.

And I'm afraid of clowns.

Circus clowns, you know, with..

wi-wi-with big old floppy shoes

and cheeseburgers in their hands.

Yo, man..

Y'all are a bunch of girls, man.

Gina you know, you have to admit that

if Martin was afraid of anything

he wouldn't be living here in this apartment.

That's right.

What you talking about, Tommy?

Old man Ackerman.

You mean old man Ackerman, the one who

used to chase us with that wooden leg?

Yeah, he was killed in this apartment

a few years ago, before you moved in.

What?

He lived here?

Man, he lived here and died here.

He never told me that when I rented the place.

I don't know why not, I mean it's such a great selling point.

Dishwasher, view, dead man.

Does that bother you, Martin?

No, it does not bother me, Gina.

The man's dead.

I mean, he can't weigh no more than ten pounds.

What about his ghost?

I'm not scared of no ghost.

He had one leg, Cole.

What's he gonna do, hop after me?

Ohh, ohh, ooh.

Look. Old man Ackerman's behind Tommy.

Aah!

You're all a bunch of punks, man.

[instrumental music]

Hey, Martin, you're on in five minutes.

Sean...I am so proud of you.

That is a very nice Halloween costume you've got on, man.

Oh, today's Halloween?

Hey, you.

I thought I told you to close the blinds on the lobby.

Man, I don't want any of those neighborhood kids

coming in here, grubbing for candy

coughing their chicken-pox germs, all over me.

Stan, it's Halloween, man.

Man, I hate Halloween!

And there's nothing I hate worse than bums begging for food.

You mean-you mean little kids asking for candy.

No, bums begging for food! What, are you stupid?

I just changed subjects.

And you look like an idiot with that flea market costume.

Oh, well, but I gotta tell you, Stan, yours is very becoming.

Now, correct me if I'm wrong.

You supposed to be a pimp, right?

I am not wearing a costume, Martin.

Oh, then, where can I get one of those?

[instrumental music]

[thunder rumbling]

Get away from me, Cole.

You have any goobers?

No. Go away. You're a goober.

- Oh! - Hey.

You little red devil, you.

Ha ha. Girl..

I want some chocolate kisses later, girl.

Okay everybody, it's time.

Lights oooooout!

Hold up, babe. What we doing?

I thought we'd sit around and tell some scary stories.

Oh-ho. Well, that sounds like fun.

I'll be in the room looking at television.

Oh, come on, Martin.

Aye, aye, but I go first, alright.

- Okay. - Cool it now.

There's gonna be some scary stuff, alright.

It was a dark and stormy

- November. - Okay.

Bush got re-elected.

Booga! Booga! Booga! Booga! Booga!

You're so stupid!

Okay, I gotta set some rules, alright.

Some rules. Ghost stories, alright?

No clown stories, okay?

Tommy, you go first.

Okay

[British accent] It was a dark and moonless night in the bayou.

In a deserted graveyard behind an old abandoned church..

...an old preacher stood among the tombstones

and-and he called out to his people--

"Come now!

"We must face our evil.

"Our village has been haunted by the walking dead.

"How many of you here

have seen a ghost in the middle of the night?"

And one by one, all the people started

raising their hands up into the night air.

And the preacher continued..

..."How many of you have touched a ghost?"

And a few people..

...with a dead look in their eyes

started raising up their hands.

And somewhere..

...an owl screeched, "Aaaahhhh!"

Hey, man, why you got to be all in my ear?

Shhh!

Mmm!

And the preacher asked..

..."How many of you

have kissed the lips of a ghost?"

And one man..

...raised his hand up.

'His eyes were sunken into his head'

'and his face, his face was half gone.'

And his breath stank all that be damned.

Everybody gasped.

And the preacher looked down at the man

and he asked..

..."You actually kissed the lips of a ghost?"

And the man said..

..."Ghost?"

"Oh, I thought you said goat."

[laughing]

(all) Waah, waah, waaaah!

Okay okay okay, it's my turn. It's my turn.

It was a dark and gloomy night.

Why everybody gotta start with dark and gloomy?

Martin, will you be quiet, please?

His was dark and moonless. This is my story, alright?

Alright.

It was a dark and gloomy night.

The wind was howling like the banshees.

Babe, what's a banshee?

A banshee is a spirit that signals death.

No-no, it isn't. A banshee's like an old banjo.

Cole, why the hell would somebody

be scared of a banjo, man?

Remember that movie "Deliverance"?

It was a dark and gloomy night.

The wind was howling like the banshees.

It had been ten years to the day

that this man had killed his wife

by chopping off her head.

Why it got to be directed towards me?

Suddenly..

...he heard a dragging footstep coming up the stairs.

It got closer and closer and closer

until suddenly he heard rapping sound on his bedroom door.

[knocking on door]

[screams]

It's her! It's her.

Stop it. Shh.

- 'Stop.' - No, no. Wait.

That was a good story, Gina.

I just bit my tongue.

Aw, man. Y'all are a bunch of punks

scared of everything.

It's just trick or treaters.

Here, kids. Come get your candy.

Kids?

Who was it?

- Nobody. - What you mean nobody?

It's cool. It's just some wind.

Martin, wind does not knock on the door.

Wait a minute.

Maybe it was old man Ackerman coming back from the grave.

Yeah. And you probably just let him in.

Stop it, alright?

Hey you guys, let's try and reach him.

- Who? - Old man Ackerman.

Come on. We're gonna have a séance.

Oh, no we're not.

Oh, yes, we are.

Everybody just put your hand on the board.

Martin, come on, put your hand on the board. Come on!

- No! - Alright, forget you then.

Come on, give me the book.

Okay, now everybody repeat after me.

Okay.

"Kandash strataamantos."

(all) "Kandashstr-strataamantos."

"Nosferatus."

(all) "Nosferatus."

"Kanda mantos kanda."

(all) "Kanda mantos kanda."

What is she speaking, man, Mexican?

Cole, they're occult words.

Look, we shouldn't be messing with this occult.

Oh, Tommy's afraid.

Keep your hand on the board.

Wait a minute.

I feel something.

You're trying to get through.

We welcome you. Come back.

Kanda mantos akanda.

Nosferatus.

I'm sorry, babe. She got tourette's syndrome.

Look, look, look. It's spelling something out. Look.

Who are you? Speak to us. Tell us your name.

[thunder rumbling]

Whoa. Y'all feel that?

It just got real cold in here.

I told you about wearing them holey drawers, boy.

Quiet.

Who are you?

And why have you come back?

"A..

...C...AC?"

Okay, he wants us to turn down the air-conditioning.

Shut up, Cole!

Who are you, and what have you come for?

"A...C..

"...E...R..

...M...A...N." Ackerman!

Ackerman! It's old man Ackerman!

I made contact, y'all.

I made contact.

Wait a minute. Ackerman has a "K" in it.

He left out the "K."

Tommy, the man's in hell, not in college.

Who are you?

Why have you come back?

(all) "...M..

"...A..

'"...R..'

...T" Martin. Martin!

[shatters]

[screams]

- Who threw this? - Not me, man.

Nobody threw it, Martin. We were all over there.

Well then that means somebody's in the apartment.

Who?

Damn it. It's Tyrone from upstairs.

He's on that stuff again.

You know what? I'm getting my bat, babe.

- Martin-- - Now, just stand back.

I'll protect you, alright.

Aah!

Hey, Martin, it's not Tyrone, man. He's on duty this weekend.

It's old man Ackerman.

Why did we start this?

Somebody make it stop!

It's too late, Gina.

Once the gates are open, there's no turning back.

Hey, Pam, would you stop it. You're scaring, Gina.

[thunder rumbling]

What was that?

Look, look, look. Nothing baby, look.

Let's just get out of here, alright.

I'm with you, brother.

It's locked.

How can it be locked from the outside?

He's trapped us here until his work is done.

What work, Pam? Dead people don't have jobs.

Let's call the police!

(Pam) 'That's good thinking.'

- Hurry. - Got to get up out of here.

- What's the matter? - Hello?

It's dead.

We're trapped.

At least we still got lights.

(Tommy) Is everybody alright?

(Pam) Yeah.

Cole, if you don't get your hand off that..

[slap]

(Cole) I'm sorry. I-I thought it was the dip.

(Pam) Well, it's not.

(Cole) Well, could I have my cracker back, then?

Is everybody alright?

In the name of the father, son--

- Cole! - I'm cool.

- Pam. - What?

- You alright? - Yeah. Tommy?

'Tommy.'

Tommy.

Tommy, what's the matter with you, man?

'Tommy!'

[growling]

[babbling]

Stop it! You're scaring the girls!

Tommy, do you have sinus problems?

- He's possessed! - Aah!

Alright. That's it. Tommy, knock it off.

I said knock it off or I'm gonna have to

ask you to leave my house.

I am not Tommy!

[growling and screaming]

Martin, please reverse the curse! Please!

- Reverse the curse? - Yeah.

Uh, "ma-ma-ma-ma-ma sei-sei makusa

ma-ma-ma sei--"

[growling]

Oh, my god! We can't get out!

- He's coming for us! - Come on.

No, he's not. He just want Martin. Take him!

- Hey, get off me. - Take him! Take him!

Uh..

"Ch-chaka khan..

"ch-ch-ch-cha-chaka khan..

"cha..

chaka khan..."

[shattering]

[screaming]

No.

[knocking and growling]

- What is that? - What's what?

That!

Martin, what is that knocking?

Gina, I don't know! It ain't opportunity!

(female #1) 'Martin..'

'Martin..'

Something else up in here with us.

And it wants Martin.

- Baby.. - No! No.

How many spirits did I bring back?

Hey, get off me. Get off me, man!

Hey! Come on! I ain't Mar--

I ain't Martin! Hey! I'm not Martin!

Help! Help!

Get off! Get off!

Get off! Get off!

Cole.

Cole!

Cole!

[girls screaming]

Hey.

Where did everybody go?

Gina!

Pam!

Cole!

Whoopi! Anybody!

I gotta get out of here.

Somebody help me! Get me out of here!

Come on!

(male #1) 'Martin..'

What, man?

'Martin..'

Aw, man, what do you want?

'Martin..'

Martin's not in right now.

But if leave your name and number

he'll be sure to get back to you. Beep!

'I'm comin' for you!'

Aw, man!

Can't we all just get along?

[growling]

[eerie music]

Aw, man! I got to get up out of here.

Aw, somebody help me!

No, I ain't running no more! I'm a man, understand?

I'm gonna handle this. I'm gonna handle this, man.

Ha ha ha.

Haah! Ha ha ha!

Get off me!

Hey, man, what's going on?

Damn!

Yo, man.

Come on. Yo, man.

Yo, look at your eyes, man!

You're messing with the drugs, ain't you?

'Partner, you gotta say no, man, alright?'

Aw, Tommy, man!

You're supposed to be my boy!

Now you're down with him? Damn!

Please!

Don't kill me, please!

Please!

I don't wanna die, man.

(all) 'Whazzup!'

(Cole) Damn.

[cheering]

We got you, darlin'! We got you!

"I ain't afraid of nothing!"

- "Brothers don't get scared." - "Y'all are a bunch of punks!"

We got you good! Yeah, we sure did!

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

[laughing]

(Cole) 'Oh, man.'

So y--

Whoo!

So y'all set me up, huh?

Sean rigged up all the special effects.

He is brilliant!

Thanks it's just a little something, something

I hooked up. Check it out.

(Gina) 'Whoo! Alright, Sean.'

That is beautiful.

- Y'all really got me good. - Yeah?

I got something for y'all.

(all) What?

- Get out! Out! - Martin!

Trick or treat your ass up out of here.

Let's go!

Look, Martin look, it was a joke, man!

Then joke on out of here. Let's go. Out.

See I told you he would kick us out.

Well, if you knew it, get the going.

Hey Gina. Gina since no kids came, can I take some candy?

- Yes, sure. - Out, man. Out!

Save me some Kit-Kat.

- Get out. - Good night, Gina.

Good night, Martin.

Good night old man Ackerman!

- Wherever you are. - Out!

Thinks she's pretty clever. Ah, Gina.

I love you. I love you, you love me?

Yeah, I love you, I love you. You got me good, babe.

- I-I had it coming, huh? - So, you kind of did.

- You know, have it coming. - I'm gonna get you, girl.

Huh? Hmm?

[moaning]

You feel something?

No. But I'm getting ready to.

Oh.

You little red devil, you.

[Gina giggling]

'You go girl.'

Why don't you turn off the lights, then?

[moaning]

[screaming]

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]