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1
00:00:01,459 --> 00:00:04,254
[chuckles]
I remember the first time
I ever told a lie.
2
00:00:04,295 --> 00:00:07,007
I was six years old, right.
3
00:00:07,090 --> 00:00:09,342
We had just come
home from church.
4
00:00:09,426 --> 00:00:12,595
And my mother started yelling,
"Who wrote Martin
5
00:00:12,637 --> 00:00:15,140
on the living room
wall in red crayon?"
6
00:00:15,223 --> 00:00:16,933
I hid the crayon behind my back.
7
00:00:16,975 --> 00:00:20,812
I said, "I think, uh,
Martin Luther King did it."
8
00:00:22,814 --> 00:00:24,607
She said, "Think again."
9
00:00:24,649 --> 00:00:26,776
I said, "Dean Martin?"
10
00:00:26,818 --> 00:00:30,822
She said, "What did I
tell you about lying?"
11
00:00:30,905 --> 00:00:34,034
And then I thought real hard,
and I remembered, I said
12
00:00:34,117 --> 00:00:36,327
"Oh, ma, you a trip.
13
00:00:36,369 --> 00:00:38,997
"When-when the man from
the gas company call
14
00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:41,332
"you ain't home.
15
00:00:41,374 --> 00:00:45,128
Now, ma, go to your room
until you stop lying."
16
00:00:47,297 --> 00:00:49,299
She put me out.
17
00:00:51,843 --> 00:00:53,094
I love you, ma.
18
00:00:53,178 --> 00:00:56,306
[theme song]
19
00:00:59,184 --> 00:01:01,227
♪ Martin ♪
20
00:01:01,311 --> 00:01:03,104
♪ Martin ♪
21
00:01:03,188 --> 00:01:04,689
♪ Martin ♪
22
00:01:04,731 --> 00:01:06,524
♪ Lawrence yeah ♪
23
00:01:06,566 --> 00:01:07,734
♪ How do y'all feel? ♪
24
00:01:07,817 --> 00:01:09,611
♪ Martin ♪
25
00:01:09,694 --> 00:01:11,571
♪ Martin ♪
26
00:01:11,654 --> 00:01:13,031
♪ Martin ♪
27
00:01:13,114 --> 00:01:14,407
♪ Lawrence yeah ♪
28
00:01:14,491 --> 00:01:16,409
♪ He's so crazy ♪
29
00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:26,086
♪ Martin ♪
30
00:01:26,169 --> 00:01:27,754
♪ Martin ♪
31
00:01:27,837 --> 00:01:29,214
♪ Lawrence yeah ♪
32
00:01:29,297 --> 00:01:30,256
♪ How do y'all feel? ♪
33
00:01:30,340 --> 00:01:32,550
♪ Martin ♪
34
00:01:32,634 --> 00:01:34,344
♪ Martin ♪
35
00:01:34,386 --> 00:01:35,887
♪ Martin ♪
36
00:01:35,970 --> 00:01:37,138
♪ Lawrence ♪♪
37
00:01:40,725 --> 00:01:43,436
[instrumental music]
38
00:01:48,566 --> 00:01:50,568
Alright, alright.
Trust me on this.
39
00:01:50,652 --> 00:01:52,404
Alright, Godzilla's
coming down the street
40
00:01:52,445 --> 00:01:55,115
don't look back.
Trust me, don't look back.
41
00:01:56,157 --> 00:01:59,536
Aw! I told you don't look back!
42
00:01:59,577 --> 00:02:02,080
He always squashes
people that looks back.
43
00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:03,498
Martin, is this your book?
44
00:02:03,581 --> 00:02:05,417
- Yeah, babe.
- Okay.
45
00:02:10,088 --> 00:02:11,881
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
46
00:02:11,923 --> 00:02:14,634
Babe, that's my baseball shirt.
47
00:02:14,718 --> 00:02:15,969
I know.
48
00:02:16,052 --> 00:02:18,722
- Did I do something?
- No.
49
00:02:18,763 --> 00:02:21,349
My parents are visiting here
on their way home from France
50
00:02:21,433 --> 00:02:23,935
and I don't want them to
know that you sleep here.
51
00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:27,188
[chuckles]
But I do sleep here.
52
00:02:27,272 --> 00:02:29,399
Not while my father's
around, you don't.
53
00:02:33,903 --> 00:02:35,655
Dr. Waters.
54
00:02:35,739 --> 00:02:37,866
Look what I'm doing
to your daughter.
55
00:02:42,328 --> 00:02:44,456
And look what your
daughter doing to me.
56
00:02:47,542 --> 00:02:50,003
Martin. Martin, stop it.
57
00:02:50,086 --> 00:02:51,880
Martin, stop!
58
00:02:53,256 --> 00:02:54,591
I'm serious.
59
00:02:54,632 --> 00:02:56,051
You don't-you don't
know my father.
60
00:02:56,134 --> 00:02:57,886
He can be very intimidating.
61
00:02:57,969 --> 00:02:59,471
What do you mean, babe?
62
00:02:59,512 --> 00:03:02,015
Well, he made my
last boyfriend cry
63
00:03:02,098 --> 00:03:03,725
and he was a Muslim.
64
00:03:04,726 --> 00:03:05,685
Damn.
65
00:03:07,562 --> 00:03:09,981
I'm not kidding, Martin.
Please be on your best behavior
66
00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:12,275
and please wear a tie.
67
00:03:12,317 --> 00:03:14,486
- He made a Muslim cry?
- 'Uh-huh.'
68
00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:16,571
You know what?
69
00:03:16,654 --> 00:03:19,783
I won't just wear no tie.
I'll wear a bow tie.
70
00:03:21,659 --> 00:03:23,828
Martin, this is really important
to me. I love my father
71
00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:25,622
and I really care about
what he thinks.
72
00:03:25,663 --> 00:03:28,208
Babe, I care about
what he thinks, too.
73
00:03:28,291 --> 00:03:30,752
You're my future, girl.
You know that?
74
00:03:32,253 --> 00:03:33,546
Then, don't worry.
Just be yourself
75
00:03:33,630 --> 00:03:34,964
and daddy's gonna love you.
76
00:03:35,006 --> 00:03:36,758
[chuckles]
Yeah.
77
00:03:40,679 --> 00:03:42,722
(man on TV)
'He's coming, he's coming!'
78
00:03:42,806 --> 00:03:45,850
'Run for your life,
run for your life!'
79
00:03:45,934 --> 00:03:49,688
'Oh, forget it.
You haven't got a chance.'
80
00:03:50,855 --> 00:03:54,567
Yo, talk to me Detroit.
We're talking in-laws.
81
00:03:54,651 --> 00:03:55,902
Wazzup!
82
00:03:55,985 --> 00:03:57,779
(man on phone)
'Uh, hey. Hey, Mart.'
83
00:03:57,862 --> 00:03:59,781
'This is D,
down at the car wash.'
84
00:03:59,864 --> 00:04:01,866
'You know,
my woman's father hated me.'
85
00:04:01,950 --> 00:04:04,703
'But my woman stood by me,
right to the end.'
86
00:04:04,744 --> 00:04:07,580
'When he tried to run me down
with his car, she stood by me.'
87
00:04:09,207 --> 00:04:13,211
'When he tried to poison me with
pesticides, she stood by me.'
88
00:04:13,294 --> 00:04:17,007
'When he tried to shoot me with
a shotgun, she stood by me.'
89
00:04:17,048 --> 00:04:18,508
Man, what happened?
90
00:04:18,550 --> 00:04:21,052
'Well, I ducked and he shot
her by mistake, man.'
91
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,305
'Now, is that loyalty or what?'
92
00:04:24,389 --> 00:04:25,890
Nah, partner. That's stupidity.
93
00:04:25,974 --> 00:04:29,269
Ladies, if you meet a man
named D, alright..
94
00:04:29,352 --> 00:04:32,397
...don't stand too close,
and please remember to duck.
95
00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:35,233
Yo, this is our last caller.
Wazzup!
96
00:04:35,316 --> 00:04:38,653
(woman on phone)
'I don't know why you have a
problem with in-laws, Martin.'
97
00:04:38,737 --> 00:04:41,072
'My mother-in-law lives with me,
and she tells me'
98
00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:43,158
'how to raise the kids,
how to clean the house'
99
00:04:43,241 --> 00:04:46,786
'and how to cook the meals.
And we get along just fine.'
100
00:04:46,870 --> 00:04:49,581
Oh, that's sweet.
And your husband likes all that?
101
00:04:49,622 --> 00:04:51,750
'No, he left us
three years ago.'
102
00:04:53,001 --> 00:04:54,419
Yo, what was
your husband's name?
103
00:04:54,502 --> 00:04:55,795
'Roscoe.'
104
00:04:55,879 --> 00:04:58,590
Roscoe, you're a very,
very smart guy, yo.
105
00:04:58,673 --> 00:05:00,550
They're a bunch of nags.
I'm out.
106
00:05:00,592 --> 00:05:02,469
Yo, this is the insane
Martin Payne
107
00:05:02,552 --> 00:05:05,638
saying, see you when I see you.
Peace!
108
00:05:05,722 --> 00:05:08,183
Yo, Shawn. Look, man.
When I'm on the air
109
00:05:08,266 --> 00:05:10,602
you have to be clear with
your hand signals, man.
110
00:05:10,643 --> 00:05:11,978
I don't know if you're
telling me to wrap it up
111
00:05:12,062 --> 00:05:14,272
or you choking on
a chicken bone.
112
00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:17,108
Well, that only happened once,
and that wasn't a chicken bone.
113
00:05:17,192 --> 00:05:18,985
That was a pen cap.
114
00:05:19,069 --> 00:05:20,945
What are you doing
eatin' pen caps?
115
00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:22,238
[door closes]
116
00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:24,074
Yo, boss, man, wassup?
117
00:05:24,115 --> 00:05:28,620
You. Shawn. I saw you touching
my Cadillac again.
118
00:05:29,829 --> 00:05:32,082
Oh, no, no,
I didn't touch your car.
119
00:05:32,123 --> 00:05:33,750
That's right, right. Aye, boss--
120
00:05:33,792 --> 00:05:37,003
Shut up, Martin!
121
00:05:37,087 --> 00:05:39,005
You were putting your clammy
hands all over my
122
00:05:39,089 --> 00:05:40,757
- Turtle Wax, weren't you?
- No, I wasn't.
123
00:05:40,799 --> 00:05:42,509
Well, maybe I'm hallucinating.
124
00:05:42,592 --> 00:05:44,010
Maybe I'm out of
my freakin' mind.
125
00:05:44,094 --> 00:05:45,637
No, no, no!
126
00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:48,306
I'll tell you what I'll do.
I'll go down there right now
127
00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:49,974
and I'll wash your car.
128
00:05:50,058 --> 00:05:51,017
Okay.
129
00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:55,980
[snickers]
130
00:05:57,315 --> 00:06:00,485
He falls for it every week.
131
00:06:02,654 --> 00:06:03,988
What's wrong with you, Martin?
132
00:06:04,072 --> 00:06:05,198
Last time I looked like that
133
00:06:05,281 --> 00:06:07,867
an ugly woman had told me
she was three months late.
134
00:06:09,786 --> 00:06:12,163
I'm a little nervous, man.
135
00:06:12,247 --> 00:06:14,457
I'm meeting
Gina's parents tonight.
136
00:06:14,499 --> 00:06:17,961
Oh-h...look, bro, no problem.
137
00:06:18,003 --> 00:06:21,339
Just do what I do when
I meet a girl's parents.
138
00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:22,841
Check out the mother
139
00:06:22,924 --> 00:06:25,927
'cause that's what you're gonna
be dealing with in 20 years.
140
00:06:26,011 --> 00:06:28,555
And if she is a
fat sow with warts
141
00:06:28,638 --> 00:06:30,765
head for the hills
while you can.
142
00:06:31,975 --> 00:06:33,685
What if Gina's mother
looks great, man?
143
00:06:33,768 --> 00:06:35,979
Then dump Gina
and hit on the mother.
144
00:06:37,689 --> 00:06:41,818
Look, Martin, those old women,
they are wild, man. Yes, sir.
145
00:06:41,860 --> 00:06:47,365
Look, Martin, I love me some
experienced, wide-hip women.
146
00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:48,908
You know what I mean?
147
00:06:48,992 --> 00:06:51,161
And you will, too.
148
00:06:51,202 --> 00:06:53,038
Changed my life.
149
00:06:53,121 --> 00:06:56,041
[instrumental music]
150
00:07:04,507 --> 00:07:06,718
Yo, man, I can't get this.
151
00:07:06,801 --> 00:07:08,928
You want me to go home
and get my clip-on?
152
00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:11,556
No.
153
00:07:11,639 --> 00:07:13,558
Martin, what are you
so nervous about, man?
154
00:07:13,641 --> 00:07:15,894
These are Gina's parents.
They have to be okay.
155
00:07:15,977 --> 00:07:18,396
Her father's, man, this big,
famous doctor, man.
156
00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:21,483
He's used to Gina going out with
lawyers, doctors, astronauts.
157
00:07:21,566 --> 00:07:22,734
I'm telling you man,
he ain't gonna think
158
00:07:22,817 --> 00:07:23,860
I'm good enough
for his daughter.
159
00:07:23,902 --> 00:07:25,528
- Yes, he will.
- No, he won't.
160
00:07:25,570 --> 00:07:27,405
- Yes, he will.
- No, he won't.
161
00:07:27,489 --> 00:07:29,616
I remember what
he got on his SATs.
162
00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:33,036
Listen, what is he
gonna think, right?
163
00:07:33,078 --> 00:07:35,622
I'm on a radio,
I have no college degree.
164
00:07:35,705 --> 00:07:37,290
Yo man, he gonna think
I'm a street kid, man.
165
00:07:37,374 --> 00:07:39,918
Yeah, he gonna think you're
a nothin', a loser, a bum.
166
00:07:40,001 --> 00:07:41,586
Might as well be living
in a box on the corner
167
00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:43,755
with blind Willie
and his bald-headed cat.
168
00:07:45,006 --> 00:07:47,592
Yo, man. I don't wanna
blow this tonight, man.
169
00:07:47,634 --> 00:07:50,053
First impressions, I mean,
mean a lot, Tommy.
170
00:07:50,095 --> 00:07:52,138
Yeah, well,
where you having dinner?
171
00:07:52,222 --> 00:07:55,642
- Chez Maurice's.
- Ooh, Chez Maurice's.
172
00:07:55,725 --> 00:07:56,976
- Very impressive, man.
- 'Thank you.'
173
00:07:57,060 --> 00:07:59,187
Now, um, you brothers
know any French?
174
00:08:00,563 --> 00:08:01,940
[speaking in French]
175
00:08:06,027 --> 00:08:08,029
Martin, why you wanna
know French, man, huh?
176
00:08:08,113 --> 00:08:09,864
Because the menus
are in French, man.
177
00:08:09,948 --> 00:08:11,783
Her father speaks
like five languages.
178
00:08:11,866 --> 00:08:13,785
I wanna impress him, man.
179
00:08:13,868 --> 00:08:15,537
Look, Martin.
Look, man. Come on.
180
00:08:15,620 --> 00:08:18,289
You don't have to know French to
show to him that you're the man.
181
00:08:18,373 --> 00:08:19,791
Yeah, yeah, just do what I do.
182
00:08:19,874 --> 00:08:22,002
Picture her parents naked
when you talk to 'em.
183
00:08:23,128 --> 00:08:24,504
What?
184
00:08:24,587 --> 00:08:27,048
Yeah, yeah, you know, you-you
picture somebody naked, right
185
00:08:27,132 --> 00:08:30,135
they seem silly.
Then you feel more in charge.
186
00:08:30,218 --> 00:08:31,511
Yo, that works?
187
00:08:31,594 --> 00:08:32,971
Sure it does.
Man, I do it all the time.
188
00:08:33,054 --> 00:08:35,181
As mom starts yelling
about the phone bill.
189
00:08:41,438 --> 00:08:43,523
- Cole. Cole..
- 'Huh?'
190
00:08:43,606 --> 00:08:46,901
You're supposed to picture
other folks' parents naked.
191
00:08:46,943 --> 00:08:48,028
Not yours.
192
00:08:53,116 --> 00:08:54,659
Oh, really?
193
00:08:54,743 --> 00:08:57,495
Yo, listen. Don't you see, man?
194
00:08:57,579 --> 00:08:59,039
Look, if Gina's father
don't like me
195
00:08:59,122 --> 00:09:02,208
Gina will start seeing me
through her father's eyes, man.
196
00:09:02,292 --> 00:09:03,501
And then she'll send me packing.
197
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:05,211
Martin, just treat
the doctor as an equal.
198
00:09:05,295 --> 00:09:07,047
- Everything will be fine.
- Oh, look, I'm gonna.
199
00:09:07,130 --> 00:09:10,008
Yo, watch this, I've been
reading medical journals, right?
200
00:09:10,091 --> 00:09:12,719
- You know what this is?
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
201
00:09:12,802 --> 00:09:15,013
That's-that's how you
recognize a transvestite.
202
00:09:16,848 --> 00:09:18,933
See, yeah.
That's in the real world.
203
00:09:19,017 --> 00:09:22,771
But in the medical world,
this is the Adam's apple.
204
00:09:22,854 --> 00:09:25,398
Martin, don't play that game,
man, okay?
205
00:09:25,482 --> 00:09:26,858
You out of your league.
206
00:09:26,941 --> 00:09:29,027
Yeah, you know what?
Just-just go with what you know.
207
00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:30,445
Make-make him play your game.
208
00:09:30,528 --> 00:09:32,697
Do your radio thing,
you know what I'm saying?
209
00:09:32,781 --> 00:09:34,657
I think I see what you said.
210
00:09:34,699 --> 00:09:36,576
- Be like I am on a radio.
- 'Yeah.'
211
00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:38,661
- The wild and crazy me. Yeah.
- 'Yeah.'
212
00:09:38,703 --> 00:09:40,372
Yeah, that's exactly
what I'm saying.
213
00:09:40,455 --> 00:09:42,248
Martin, that's a bit much, man.
214
00:09:42,332 --> 00:09:44,709
No, no, Tommy. This could
work, man. You know why?
215
00:09:44,793 --> 00:09:46,920
'Cause see, her father
see that I'm a man.
216
00:09:47,003 --> 00:09:48,380
Gina will see that I'm a man.
217
00:09:48,463 --> 00:09:50,507
They'll respect me
and I'll look large, man.
218
00:09:50,548 --> 00:09:52,509
There you go. That's what
I'm saying, take charge.
219
00:09:52,550 --> 00:09:53,885
Yo, show them you're the man.
220
00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:56,721
Yo. Yo. I'm the man.
221
00:09:56,805 --> 00:09:57,889
- Tommy.
- Yeah.
222
00:09:57,931 --> 00:09:59,557
- I'm the man.
- You the man.
223
00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:02,477
Hey...and that's
why we're partners.
224
00:10:02,560 --> 00:10:04,062
Give me love.
225
00:10:07,315 --> 00:10:08,274
[all sigh]
226
00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:14,364
Yeah. Yo, man. This is
the insane Martin Payne.
227
00:10:14,406 --> 00:10:16,491
Ha-ha. Takin' charge.
228
00:10:16,574 --> 00:10:19,035
See you when I see you. Peace!
229
00:10:20,578 --> 00:10:22,706
Oh, damn fool
don't stand a chance.
230
00:10:26,835 --> 00:10:27,794
[Gina chuckling]
231
00:10:27,877 --> 00:10:29,921
I wish you lived closer, Gina.
232
00:10:30,005 --> 00:10:33,174
I get so worried about you
living in this city by yourself.
233
00:10:33,258 --> 00:10:35,760
I'm not alone, mama.
I have Martin.
234
00:10:35,802 --> 00:10:37,303
Where is he?
235
00:10:37,387 --> 00:10:39,889
I was always on time
when I dated your mother.
236
00:10:39,931 --> 00:10:42,017
He'll be here, daddy.
How did your lecture go?
237
00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:44,811
Oh, your father's speech
was the highlight
238
00:10:44,894 --> 00:10:46,938
of the whole
chiropractic conference.
239
00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:50,525
Interesting. The Europeans
are much more open-minded
240
00:10:50,608 --> 00:10:52,736
regarding chiropractic medicine.
241
00:10:53,945 --> 00:10:56,906
Apparently, what's-his-name
isn't coming.
242
00:10:56,948 --> 00:10:59,034
- Shall we order?
- Eat the bread, Cliff.
243
00:10:59,117 --> 00:11:01,786
Martin isn't late, daddy.
I wanted to spend a little time
244
00:11:01,870 --> 00:11:04,706
alone with you to make
sure you were nice to him.
245
00:11:04,789 --> 00:11:06,791
I'm always nice.
246
00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:09,961
Oh, here he is. Martin!
247
00:11:13,256 --> 00:11:14,341
Wazzup!
248
00:11:18,887 --> 00:11:21,431
Mama, daddy,
this is-this is Martin.
249
00:11:21,473 --> 00:11:24,684
Yo, wassup, man? How you livin'?
How you livin', how you live..
250
00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:28,772
Oh. Oh, eh.
251
00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:37,530
- Hello, Martin.
- Hey.
252
00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:41,159
We've been looking forward to
this for such a long time.
253
00:11:41,242 --> 00:11:44,996
Oh, man. Now, excuse me,
but baby, who is this?
254
00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:46,873
You didn't tell me
you had a younger sister.
255
00:11:46,956 --> 00:11:49,084
[laughs]
Oh.
256
00:11:49,668 --> 00:11:51,294
Oh-h!
257
00:11:51,336 --> 00:11:53,171
- You go, girl.
- Oh!
258
00:11:56,007 --> 00:11:57,717
- Martin.
- Yeah.
259
00:11:57,801 --> 00:12:00,762
We have heard so much about you.
260
00:12:00,845 --> 00:12:02,097
Yes, we have.
261
00:12:02,180 --> 00:12:04,224
Well, you know,
they know me up in here.
262
00:12:04,307 --> 00:12:07,185
Yo, partner, waddup?
Call me, man. Call me.
263
00:12:07,268 --> 00:12:08,812
[laughs]
264
00:12:08,853 --> 00:12:10,146
Well, shall we order?
265
00:12:10,188 --> 00:12:12,273
I believe the kitchen
is still open.
266
00:12:12,357 --> 00:12:14,109
Cool, I'm hungry.
267
00:12:14,192 --> 00:12:16,653
Would you care to
select the wine, Martin?
268
00:12:16,695 --> 00:12:17,862
Me?
269
00:12:17,946 --> 00:12:21,074
You do know your wines,
don't you?
270
00:12:21,157 --> 00:12:24,536
I mean, give me that menu.
Do I know my wines!
271
00:12:24,577 --> 00:12:27,205
[laughing]
272
00:12:31,793 --> 00:12:34,212
Yo, yo, Pierre. Come, come now.
273
00:12:35,422 --> 00:12:36,673
Yeah, look.
274
00:12:36,715 --> 00:12:40,844
Hook us up with the
pas de ci gerenze de pipe.
275
00:12:40,885 --> 00:12:43,221
Hook it up.
276
00:12:43,304 --> 00:12:47,017
You just ordered "No cigars
or pipe smoking, please."
277
00:12:47,058 --> 00:12:49,561
[laughs]
I knew that.
I'm just playing with you.
278
00:12:49,644 --> 00:12:51,980
Let me see what you order,
you order somethin'.
279
00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:57,110
We'll have the '82 Rothschild.
280
00:12:57,193 --> 00:12:58,361
Is that alright with you,
Martin?
281
00:12:58,403 --> 00:13:00,280
- Did you say '82?
- 'Yes, I did.'
282
00:13:00,363 --> 00:13:01,948
Alright, 'cause
if you'd said '83
283
00:13:02,032 --> 00:13:04,159
I might've cracked
your head with the bottle.
284
00:13:05,493 --> 00:13:07,912
[laughing]
285
00:13:07,954 --> 00:13:11,332
I am so crazy.
I should be a comedian, huh?
286
00:13:11,416 --> 00:13:13,084
[laughing]
287
00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:16,004
- Whoo! Look at all these buns.
- Ooh.
288
00:13:16,921 --> 00:13:18,965
Do you always smile this much?
289
00:13:19,049 --> 00:13:22,427
Oh, Cliff, leave the boy alone.
You're making him nervous.
290
00:13:22,510 --> 00:13:24,763
Hey, hey, now, stop that.
I'm not nervous.
291
00:13:24,846 --> 00:13:26,389
I ain't never nervous.
292
00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:39,110
Daddy, dad..
293
00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:41,196
- Daddy, Martin's a DJ.
- Yeah.
294
00:13:41,279 --> 00:13:42,030
[coughs]
295
00:13:42,113 --> 00:13:44,032
He-he works very, very hard.
296
00:13:44,115 --> 00:13:45,700
I can imagine.
297
00:13:45,784 --> 00:13:49,537
Playing records must be really
exhausting work for an adult.
298
00:13:49,621 --> 00:13:50,872
[chuckling]
299
00:13:50,955 --> 00:13:53,083
Martin is on talk radio, daddy.
300
00:13:53,124 --> 00:13:54,334
- Is that right?
- Yeah.
301
00:13:54,417 --> 00:13:56,961
See, the show is
actually a platform
302
00:13:57,045 --> 00:13:59,589
to discuss important
issues of the day.
303
00:13:59,631 --> 00:14:01,508
- Oh, really?
- Mm-hm.
304
00:14:01,591 --> 00:14:03,760
You go, girl.
305
00:14:03,802 --> 00:14:05,303
That's right, Cliffy-Cliff.
306
00:14:05,387 --> 00:14:07,806
Yo, in fact, we had this
debate the other day
307
00:14:07,889 --> 00:14:09,224
about quack doctors.
308
00:14:09,307 --> 00:14:11,518
You know, one of them
a-a-a faith healers.
309
00:14:11,601 --> 00:14:13,520
Chiropractors.
310
00:14:13,603 --> 00:14:15,063
Ow, babe, that's my leg.
311
00:14:15,146 --> 00:14:17,816
So anyway, what do
these Chiropractors do?
312
00:14:17,899 --> 00:14:21,486
I mean, crack-crack...and
you're done.
313
00:14:21,528 --> 00:14:23,822
Come on. Look.
Let me tell you something.
314
00:14:23,905 --> 00:14:27,117
My grandmother, right, used to
crack my back the same way.
315
00:14:27,158 --> 00:14:29,202
Except she used to use
the back of a chair.
316
00:14:29,285 --> 00:14:32,956
And guess what? She ain't
charged me no $85 either.
317
00:14:33,707 --> 00:14:35,667
I am a chiropractor.
318
00:14:35,750 --> 00:14:36,918
[Gina shrieks]
319
00:14:37,794 --> 00:14:39,504
Martin!
320
00:14:39,587 --> 00:14:40,922
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
321
00:14:41,006 --> 00:14:42,340
[screaming]
322
00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:44,092
- 'What's wrong with you?'
- I'm sorry.
323
00:14:44,175 --> 00:14:46,970
- Stop it!
- Get your hands off of my wife!
324
00:14:47,012 --> 00:14:48,263
[clamoring]
325
00:14:48,346 --> 00:14:50,640
I'm-I'm sorry, I didn't..
326
00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:52,350
Oh!
327
00:14:52,434 --> 00:14:53,393
[Gina screaming]
328
00:15:07,032 --> 00:15:09,409
[instrumental music]
329
00:15:19,878 --> 00:15:21,046
[sighs]
330
00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:36,394
What a disaster, huh?
331
00:15:37,395 --> 00:15:38,730
Yep.
332
00:15:38,813 --> 00:15:40,607
You think they noticed?
333
00:15:44,069 --> 00:15:46,696
Martin, you burned my father
334
00:15:46,738 --> 00:15:48,239
you fondled my mother!
335
00:15:48,323 --> 00:15:49,908
I think you blinded the waiter!
336
00:15:49,991 --> 00:15:52,118
They noticed!
337
00:15:52,202 --> 00:15:54,662
Everybody in that
restaurant noticed.
338
00:15:57,665 --> 00:15:58,750
You mad?
339
00:16:00,794 --> 00:16:02,754
What were you thinking?
340
00:16:02,837 --> 00:16:05,548
[sighs]
Babe, I just wanted
to make a good impression.
341
00:16:05,590 --> 00:16:07,092
Why couldn't you
just be yourself?
342
00:16:07,175 --> 00:16:09,469
Why must you always
go overboard?
343
00:16:09,552 --> 00:16:13,390
Look, Gina. I wanted to impress
your father so bad, I blew it.
344
00:16:13,431 --> 00:16:17,102
I wanted him to like me,
so you wouldn't leave me.
345
00:16:18,353 --> 00:16:20,480
Is that what you thought, that..
346
00:16:22,107 --> 00:16:23,775
...I would leave you?
347
00:16:23,817 --> 00:16:24,943
Maybe.
348
00:16:25,026 --> 00:16:27,737
Oh, Martin. Baby, come here.
349
00:16:27,779 --> 00:16:29,447
Come here, sweetheart.
350
00:16:30,198 --> 00:16:31,908
[sighing]
351
00:16:31,950 --> 00:16:34,119
Honey, I respect my father.
352
00:16:34,202 --> 00:16:36,621
But it doesn't change
the way I feel about you.
353
00:16:37,664 --> 00:16:39,332
I love you.
354
00:16:39,416 --> 00:16:40,792
You do?
355
00:16:40,834 --> 00:16:42,794
Of course I do.
356
00:16:42,836 --> 00:16:44,087
When you're yourself.
357
00:16:44,129 --> 00:16:45,422
[chuckling]
358
00:16:45,463 --> 00:16:46,464
Babe.
359
00:16:50,885 --> 00:16:52,429
I love you.
360
00:16:52,470 --> 00:16:54,806
I love you.
361
00:16:54,848 --> 00:16:56,516
I need you.
362
00:16:56,599 --> 00:16:58,268
I need you, too.
363
00:16:59,477 --> 00:17:01,646
- I want you.
- I knew you'd go there.
364
00:17:03,565 --> 00:17:06,026
But that's alright.
You goin' with me.
365
00:17:06,109 --> 00:17:07,485
Oh, really?
366
00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:09,112
- You my baby?
- I'm your baby.
367
00:17:09,154 --> 00:17:10,989
- You my baby.
- I'm your baby.
368
00:17:11,072 --> 00:17:14,200
[moaning]
369
00:17:18,204 --> 00:17:19,581
- Wait.
- Hmm?
370
00:17:19,664 --> 00:17:21,916
Let me slip into something
a little more sexy.
371
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:24,169
You go, girl.
372
00:17:24,252 --> 00:17:26,588
Yeah, that's what
I'm talking about.
373
00:17:27,797 --> 00:17:30,467
[laughing]
Whoo!
374
00:17:30,508 --> 00:17:33,261
Yo, babe.
Just rip that off, girl.
375
00:17:33,345 --> 00:17:35,138
I'm ready now! Haha!
376
00:17:35,180 --> 00:17:39,351
Brother gonna work it out.
Ha-ha. Yeah.
377
00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:40,352
Uh-huh.
378
00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:43,521
Yeah.
379
00:17:45,148 --> 00:17:46,483
[knock on door]
380
00:17:46,524 --> 00:17:48,360
Who's this messin' up my groove?
381
00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:50,695
(Cliff)
'Gina, it's your father.'
382
00:17:50,779 --> 00:17:51,738
Daddy?
383
00:17:54,199 --> 00:17:55,575
Why'd you come in here, Daddy?
384
00:17:55,658 --> 00:17:57,619
Never mind that.
You left your keys in the door
385
00:17:57,702 --> 00:17:59,245
in this God-forsaken
neighborhood.
386
00:17:59,329 --> 00:18:00,663
Well where's mama?
387
00:18:00,705 --> 00:18:03,249
I don't know, downstairs looking
for a parking space.
388
00:18:03,333 --> 00:18:05,043
Where's that boyfriend of yours?
389
00:18:05,126 --> 00:18:06,544
Why?
390
00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:08,713
That soup gave me
blisters, you know.
391
00:18:10,548 --> 00:18:13,218
You know, you really got
the wrong impression.
392
00:18:13,301 --> 00:18:15,428
Martin is so good to me, daddy.
393
00:18:18,890 --> 00:18:20,183
He's a joker.
394
00:18:20,225 --> 00:18:22,894
He's a loud mouth. He's a fool.
395
00:18:22,977 --> 00:18:25,855
The man is a moron.
396
00:18:25,897 --> 00:18:30,235
I'm an adult and I don't
have to justify him to you.
397
00:18:34,322 --> 00:18:35,865
Is that so?
398
00:18:35,907 --> 00:18:37,033
[clattering]
399
00:18:37,075 --> 00:18:39,452
Look at me! Look at me.
400
00:18:39,536 --> 00:18:42,622
I'm in love. Look at me
and see my happiness.
401
00:18:42,706 --> 00:18:45,750
Gina, what's the
matter with you?
402
00:18:45,792 --> 00:18:46,918
Uh-h-h.
403
00:18:51,214 --> 00:18:53,758
You can't raise
a family on happiness.
404
00:18:55,301 --> 00:18:58,722
How far can the two of you
get on his jokes and pranks?
405
00:18:58,763 --> 00:19:00,724
Wazzup! And then?
406
00:19:06,271 --> 00:19:08,273
Well, that's my decision.
407
00:19:09,357 --> 00:19:12,527
This is too much.
I need a drink.
408
00:19:12,610 --> 00:19:14,446
No, I'll get it. No, no, no.
409
00:19:14,529 --> 00:19:17,949
I can get myself a drink
for God's sakes.
410
00:19:18,033 --> 00:19:21,494
Dad. Daddy. Ooh!
411
00:19:22,162 --> 00:19:23,455
Yo, babe.
412
00:19:25,957 --> 00:19:26,916
Yo.
413
00:19:28,001 --> 00:19:29,627
Look, I-I ripped my drawers.
414
00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:31,671
You got any panties
I could wear?
415
00:19:33,256 --> 00:19:34,341
What are you wearing?
416
00:19:34,424 --> 00:19:35,383
This is all I could find.
417
00:19:35,467 --> 00:19:36,968
Just go in the other room..
418
00:19:37,010 --> 00:19:38,219
[knock on door]
419
00:19:38,303 --> 00:19:39,471
Gina.
420
00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:42,807
What the hell is going on here?
421
00:19:47,437 --> 00:19:49,314
What's up, doc?
422
00:19:50,315 --> 00:19:52,484
This is the man
you're in love with?
423
00:19:53,610 --> 00:19:57,405
Look, look, babe.
I'm sorry, I did it again.
424
00:19:57,447 --> 00:20:01,451
Martin, you have nothing,
nothing to apologize for.
425
00:20:01,493 --> 00:20:05,080
That's what we get for
barging in on you two.
426
00:20:05,163 --> 00:20:07,082
Don't mind Cliff, Martin.
427
00:20:07,165 --> 00:20:10,126
Nobody is good enough for
Gina as far as he's concerned.
428
00:20:10,168 --> 00:20:11,544
Let's go, dear.
429
00:20:11,628 --> 00:20:13,713
I just want what's
best for my daughter.
430
00:20:13,797 --> 00:20:15,340
Is that so wrong?
431
00:20:15,382 --> 00:20:17,801
I want what's best
for Gina, too.
432
00:20:17,842 --> 00:20:20,011
Look, I love her.
433
00:20:20,053 --> 00:20:24,391
Look, I maybe standing here in a
trash bag, but I'm not trash.
434
00:20:24,474 --> 00:20:27,560
I am in love with this woman.
And someday..
435
00:20:27,644 --> 00:20:29,813
...I'm gonna give her the world.
436
00:20:29,854 --> 00:20:32,524
Or I'll die tryin'...sir.
437
00:20:35,193 --> 00:20:36,361
Martin..
438
00:20:37,362 --> 00:20:40,240
...I think you're a good man.
439
00:20:40,323 --> 00:20:42,033
And you love my daughter.
440
00:20:42,117 --> 00:20:43,535
Most definitely.
441
00:20:44,494 --> 00:20:47,080
And that's all that's important.
442
00:20:47,163 --> 00:20:48,707
Thank you, mama.
443
00:20:51,543 --> 00:20:55,005
Um, M-Ms. W, can I,
can I ask you a question?
444
00:20:56,047 --> 00:20:57,882
You-you're not just sayin' it
445
00:20:57,924 --> 00:21:00,593
'cause I was all up on
you in the restaurant?
446
00:21:06,391 --> 00:21:08,560
I was just playing.
I was just playing with you.
447
00:21:09,978 --> 00:21:12,689
Um...Dr. Waters..
448
00:21:12,731 --> 00:21:15,025
...I'm sorry I
insulted your work, man.
449
00:21:15,066 --> 00:21:17,444
We know that, Martin.
450
00:21:17,527 --> 00:21:20,238
Cliff, look, he's standing
a little crooked.
451
00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:21,531
Maybe you could help him
452
00:21:21,573 --> 00:21:23,908
with some of your
chiropractic skill.
453
00:21:23,992 --> 00:21:25,118
Nadine..
454
00:21:25,201 --> 00:21:26,161
- Go on, Martin. Go on.
- No. No.
455
00:21:26,244 --> 00:21:27,245
I mean, I'm cool. I'm straight.
456
00:21:27,287 --> 00:21:28,580
I mean..
457
00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:31,583
Come here, Martin.
458
00:21:32,167 --> 00:21:33,835
I don't want to.
459
00:21:38,882 --> 00:21:40,550
Come here, Martin.
460
00:21:54,397 --> 00:21:55,357
[bones cracking]
461
00:21:55,440 --> 00:21:56,608
[Martin groans]
462
00:22:01,279 --> 00:22:02,947
That felt great.
463
00:22:05,241 --> 00:22:06,576
Call me later.
464
00:22:06,618 --> 00:22:09,788
[instrumental music]
465
00:22:23,343 --> 00:22:25,929
[theme music]
33012
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