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1
00:00:01,126 --> 00:00:04,170
I remember the first time
I fell in love.
2
00:00:04,254 --> 00:00:06,798
She was 5'7"
3
00:00:06,881 --> 00:00:09,009
long flowing hair
4
00:00:09,092 --> 00:00:10,927
big brown eyes
5
00:00:10,969 --> 00:00:12,804
and a perfect figure.
6
00:00:14,222 --> 00:00:16,641
Her name was Miss Trinidad.
7
00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:20,562
Yeah, and she was
my first-grade teacher.
8
00:00:21,771 --> 00:00:24,315
I remember how she would
come up behind me, right
9
00:00:24,357 --> 00:00:26,151
wrap her arms around me
10
00:00:26,234 --> 00:00:29,487
and show me how to hold
my pencil oh, so right.
11
00:00:31,114 --> 00:00:33,533
As her pearls dangled
in front of me
12
00:00:33,616 --> 00:00:36,327
I would lean my head back,
you know
13
00:00:36,369 --> 00:00:39,497
and listen to the ocean.
14
00:00:39,581 --> 00:00:42,000
Even though she never said it
15
00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:45,295
I knew this woman
loved me, too..
16
00:00:45,337 --> 00:00:48,631
...because she wrote
this special song
17
00:00:48,673 --> 00:00:50,383
just for me.
18
00:00:52,969 --> 00:00:56,556
♪ A B C D ♪
19
00:00:56,639 --> 00:01:01,144
♪ E F G ♪
20
00:01:01,186 --> 00:01:05,607
♪ H I J K ♪
21
00:01:07,317 --> 00:01:11,738
♪ L M N O P-P-P ♪♪
22
00:01:15,784 --> 00:01:17,744
I love you, Miss Trinidad.
23
00:01:25,710 --> 00:01:27,712
♪ Martin ♪
24
00:01:27,796 --> 00:01:29,839
♪ Martin ♪
25
00:01:29,881 --> 00:01:31,299
♪ Martin ♪
26
00:01:31,383 --> 00:01:33,051
♪ Lawrence ♪
27
00:01:33,134 --> 00:01:34,094
How y'all been?
28
00:01:34,177 --> 00:01:35,345
♪ Martin ♪
29
00:01:36,054 --> 00:01:38,056
♪ Martin ♪
30
00:01:38,139 --> 00:01:39,808
♪ Martin ♪
31
00:01:39,891 --> 00:01:41,184
♪ Lawrence ♪
32
00:01:41,226 --> 00:01:42,769
He's so crazy!
33
00:01:50,652 --> 00:01:52,237
♪ Martin ♪
34
00:01:52,278 --> 00:01:54,155
♪ Martin ♪
35
00:01:54,239 --> 00:01:55,740
♪ Lawrence ♪
36
00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:56,825
How y'all been?
37
00:01:56,908 --> 00:01:58,785
♪ Martin ♪
38
00:01:58,868 --> 00:02:00,370
♪ Martin ♪
39
00:02:00,412 --> 00:02:01,955
♪ Martin ♪
40
00:02:02,038 --> 00:02:03,748
♪ Lawrence ♪♪
41
00:02:15,844 --> 00:02:17,512
[mumbling]
42
00:02:19,639 --> 00:02:21,641
Damn!
43
00:02:21,725 --> 00:02:22,934
Shoot!
44
00:02:23,018 --> 00:02:25,145
Dang it!
45
00:02:27,731 --> 00:02:29,274
Aah!
46
00:02:30,483 --> 00:02:32,861
You call for a plumber?
Your friend let me in.
47
00:02:32,944 --> 00:02:35,947
You were supposed to be here
at 8:00. It's 2:30, partner.
48
00:02:36,031 --> 00:02:38,450
2:30? Hey, that's my lunchtime.
49
00:02:40,869 --> 00:02:42,787
Yo, partner, look, look.
50
00:02:42,829 --> 00:02:45,290
Can you say what's wrong
with my toilet, please?
51
00:02:45,373 --> 00:02:48,626
For starters, you've got
a book stuck in there.
52
00:02:48,710 --> 00:02:50,587
I just dropped
the book in there, alright.
53
00:02:50,628 --> 00:02:53,631
In that case, you don't need me,
you need a librarian.
54
00:02:55,258 --> 00:02:56,593
[mimicking laugh]
55
00:02:58,094 --> 00:02:59,512
- 'Come on.'
- I'm sorry.
56
00:02:59,596 --> 00:03:01,723
That's just a little plumbers
humor, that's all.
57
00:03:01,765 --> 00:03:02,974
Look, I'm late for work.
58
00:03:03,058 --> 00:03:04,726
Can you please tell me
what's wrong with my toilet?
59
00:03:04,768 --> 00:03:06,561
Well, that depends.
60
00:03:06,644 --> 00:03:08,438
You could have a bad trip lever
61
00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:10,148
you could have
a bad supply valve
62
00:03:10,231 --> 00:03:11,649
or you could have a bad
float ball.
63
00:03:11,691 --> 00:03:13,860
What are you talking,
"float ball", man?
64
00:03:13,943 --> 00:03:16,946
The problem's not the tank,
it's the pipes.
65
00:03:16,988 --> 00:03:19,157
In that case you could have
something in your fixture drain
66
00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:22,327
something in your waste pipe,
or something in your waste stat.
67
00:03:22,369 --> 00:03:23,745
Which will cost you.
68
00:03:23,828 --> 00:03:26,915
It may cost you a little
it may cost you a lot..
69
00:03:28,958 --> 00:03:31,294
...but it will cost you.
70
00:03:31,336 --> 00:03:33,421
You were supposed
to be here two days ago.
71
00:03:33,505 --> 00:03:35,674
Now, look, I'm going
to a game at 6:30.
72
00:03:35,757 --> 00:03:37,592
Can you get this
be fixed by then?
73
00:03:37,676 --> 00:03:40,679
Depends if I need a part.
74
00:03:40,762 --> 00:03:41,805
Oh.
75
00:03:41,846 --> 00:03:44,182
Depends if I have
to go to the store.
76
00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:45,809
Depends if the store is open.
77
00:03:45,850 --> 00:03:48,353
Yo, Cole, man.
Keep an eye on the plumber
78
00:03:48,395 --> 00:03:50,605
until I get home from work.
79
00:03:50,689 --> 00:03:52,023
Yo, man, I don't trust him.
80
00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:54,567
Yo, Martin,
you don't get home till 6:30.
81
00:03:54,651 --> 00:03:55,443
So?
82
00:03:55,527 --> 00:03:57,362
I ain't sitting here till 6:30.
83
00:03:57,445 --> 00:03:59,239
See, mom's got paid today.
84
00:03:59,322 --> 00:04:00,740
She'll be out shopping all day.
85
00:04:00,824 --> 00:04:02,992
Got the place to myself,
know what I mean?
86
00:04:03,034 --> 00:04:04,369
Nah.
87
00:04:05,787 --> 00:04:10,041
I can play my records
on the good stereo, you know?
88
00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:12,377
Aw, that's-that's beautiful.
89
00:04:12,460 --> 00:04:14,879
You don't want to go to
the Piston game with me?
90
00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:18,174
It's opening night.
I got front row seats.
91
00:04:18,216 --> 00:04:19,634
Okay, okay.
92
00:04:19,718 --> 00:04:22,554
I'm staying, but what if
I've got to go to the bathroom?
93
00:04:22,637 --> 00:04:24,347
Yo, man, I told you
to go to the bathroom
94
00:04:24,389 --> 00:04:26,891
before you came over here, man.
95
00:04:26,975 --> 00:04:28,768
You knew my toilet
was stopped up, Cole.
96
00:04:28,852 --> 00:04:33,356
Yeah, I did, Martin, but
I had a 42-ounce slurpee.
97
00:04:33,398 --> 00:04:35,442
Alright, but
if you've got to go
98
00:04:35,525 --> 00:04:37,527
go next door to Sheneneh's.
99
00:04:38,737 --> 00:04:41,072
Yo, keep an eye
on the plumber, man.
100
00:04:41,156 --> 00:04:42,574
- Alright, man.
- Please.
101
00:04:44,034 --> 00:04:45,410
Shh..
102
00:04:50,081 --> 00:04:52,334
Hey, I'm glad
that guy finally left.
103
00:04:53,585 --> 00:04:56,463
Whoa! You got cable, huh?
104
00:05:01,426 --> 00:05:02,677
Ahh..
105
00:05:02,719 --> 00:05:03,970
Excuse me.
106
00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:11,936
Yo, boy!
107
00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:15,982
The Pistons are going to bust
the Clippers up tonight.
108
00:05:16,066 --> 00:05:18,026
Yo, fat boy fix my toilet?
109
00:05:18,109 --> 00:05:20,278
I don't know.
110
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,489
What do you mean?
What's he doing?
111
00:05:22,572 --> 00:05:24,783
He ain't doing
much of nothing, Martin.
112
00:05:24,866 --> 00:05:27,160
I'm going to
kill him, you hear?
113
00:05:27,243 --> 00:05:29,162
Too late.
114
00:05:29,245 --> 00:05:30,914
I think he's already dead.
115
00:05:34,834 --> 00:05:36,503
Yo, mister?
116
00:05:36,586 --> 00:05:38,838
Oh, my goodness.
Yo, man, what happened?
117
00:05:38,922 --> 00:05:40,048
I don't know, man.
118
00:05:40,131 --> 00:05:43,885
I came in here a half hour ago,
and he was dead.
119
00:05:46,096 --> 00:05:47,555
Did you call 9-1-1, Cole?
120
00:05:47,639 --> 00:05:49,057
9-1-1, are you kidding me?
121
00:05:49,140 --> 00:05:51,851
A dead white man
in a black man's apartment?
122
00:05:51,935 --> 00:05:53,687
Man, they be
blaming me, alright.
123
00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:55,980
Yeah, then they be
hauling me off to jail.
124
00:05:56,064 --> 00:06:00,485
Next thing you know, I'm on
trial in Simi Valley California.
125
00:06:00,568 --> 00:06:03,655
Cole, how do you
know he's dead, man?
126
00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:05,448
Did you check his pulse?
127
00:06:05,490 --> 00:06:07,909
I ain't touching
a dead man, Martin.
128
00:06:07,992 --> 00:06:10,328
Cole, this man could still
be alive, alright.
129
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:11,955
Give me a hand.
130
00:06:11,996 --> 00:06:13,164
[whining]
131
00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:15,000
Hey, give me a hand!
132
00:06:16,835 --> 00:06:19,254
Come on. Come on, mister.
133
00:06:19,337 --> 00:06:22,716
Oh, mister, what happened?
134
00:06:24,676 --> 00:06:28,179
Oh, um, um, um,
um, um, um, um.
135
00:06:28,263 --> 00:06:30,515
Uh, uh, uh, uh..
136
00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:33,768
Alright. Alright.
137
00:06:34,644 --> 00:06:37,022
Um...um.. alright, here.
138
00:06:40,525 --> 00:06:42,819
- Ready?
- Yeah.
139
00:06:42,861 --> 00:06:44,154
Clear! Hiya!
140
00:06:49,284 --> 00:06:51,077
Do it again,
do it again, man.
141
00:06:56,374 --> 00:06:57,709
Oh, man.
142
00:06:57,792 --> 00:07:01,129
Um...okay, okay, okay, um..
143
00:07:01,212 --> 00:07:03,882
Here. Mouth to mouth.
Mouth to mouth.
144
00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:06,885
Mouth to mouth!
145
00:07:06,926 --> 00:07:10,305
Excuse me,
but I ain't kissing no man.
146
00:07:10,388 --> 00:07:13,641
Think about who you be kissing
if you was in that jail cell.
147
00:07:13,725 --> 00:07:17,228
Come on! Cole!
148
00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:19,522
Alright, the Heimlich.
149
00:07:19,564 --> 00:07:21,441
- Come on. Come on.
- Okay. Yeah.
150
00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:22,692
Alright, um..
151
00:07:22,734 --> 00:07:24,778
Help me with him.
Watch his head, alright.
152
00:07:24,861 --> 00:07:27,947
Come on, mister.
Aw, mister.
153
00:07:28,031 --> 00:07:30,867
Come on. Aah! Aah!
154
00:07:32,577 --> 00:07:33,578
Oh, god, he's heavy.
155
00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:34,996
[whining]
156
00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:36,081
Calm down.
157
00:07:36,164 --> 00:07:37,123
Stop it.
158
00:07:37,207 --> 00:07:39,751
You a man. You hear me?
You a man.
159
00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:41,461
Stop it.
160
00:07:41,544 --> 00:07:42,671
'Alright?'
161
00:07:42,754 --> 00:07:47,092
Okay alright,
here we go. Ready?
162
00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:49,010
On the count of three, okay?
163
00:07:49,094 --> 00:07:52,013
One, two, three!
164
00:07:55,058 --> 00:07:57,602
What was that?
165
00:07:57,686 --> 00:07:59,771
It's Juicy Fruit.
I gave it to him.
166
00:07:59,854 --> 00:08:02,399
He choked on it.
I killed him, Martin!
167
00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:04,818
They're going to
get me to jail for this.
168
00:08:15,286 --> 00:08:19,124
Man, I called 9-1-1 half an hour
ago. Where are they?
169
00:08:19,207 --> 00:08:21,209
I killed a man, Martin.
170
00:08:21,292 --> 00:08:22,460
Mama going to lay the belt to me
171
00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:24,254
when she find out
about this one.
172
00:08:24,295 --> 00:08:28,049
Yo, stop it, alright.
You didn't kill nobody. Stop it.
173
00:08:28,133 --> 00:08:29,217
[knock on door]
174
00:08:29,300 --> 00:08:30,593
Well, it's about time.
175
00:08:30,635 --> 00:08:32,012
Where y'all been?
176
00:08:32,095 --> 00:08:33,680
Well, the game don't start
for half an hour.
177
00:08:33,763 --> 00:08:36,099
Wha.. what?
What's happening?
178
00:08:36,141 --> 00:08:37,767
We got a problem
in the bathroom, Tommy.
179
00:08:37,809 --> 00:08:40,145
Don't tell me,
the plumber never came, huh?
180
00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:42,313
Oh, he came, Tommy.
181
00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:43,815
He came and went, man.
182
00:08:45,316 --> 00:08:47,652
Then who's that fat guy
sleeping on the floor?
183
00:08:48,987 --> 00:08:52,073
It's the plumber,
Tommy. He's dead.
184
00:08:52,157 --> 00:08:53,867
Dead? How did he die?
185
00:08:53,950 --> 00:08:55,952
I don't know, man.
I think like this.
186
00:08:57,579 --> 00:08:58,705
[knock on door]
187
00:08:58,788 --> 00:09:00,999
Relax, it's the door.
188
00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:02,375
Alright, listen.
189
00:09:02,459 --> 00:09:04,169
Listen, listen,
alright?
190
00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:06,004
That's probably
Gina and Pam.
191
00:09:06,087 --> 00:09:08,381
You know how women
get about this kind of thing.
192
00:09:08,465 --> 00:09:09,716
[whining]
193
00:09:09,799 --> 00:09:11,843
- Cole, handle it!
- Will you relax.
194
00:09:13,511 --> 00:09:14,554
Hey, baby.
195
00:09:14,637 --> 00:09:15,722
Hi, honey.
196
00:09:15,805 --> 00:09:17,390
Hey, guys,
sorry we're late.
197
00:09:17,474 --> 00:09:19,351
Can I talk to you for a minute?
198
00:09:19,434 --> 00:09:21,061
Martin, what's wrong?
199
00:09:21,144 --> 00:09:23,271
I don't know how
to tell you this.
200
00:09:23,355 --> 00:09:24,522
You remember
your Aunt Louise
201
00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:26,316
the one that had
that little mole?
202
00:09:26,358 --> 00:09:29,652
Ugh! It was all over her chin
it was ugly.
203
00:09:29,694 --> 00:09:31,571
Martin, she didn't die,
did she?
204
00:09:31,654 --> 00:09:33,573
You mean she's still alive?
205
00:09:33,656 --> 00:09:34,908
Damn!
206
00:09:34,991 --> 00:09:36,868
What about your bald-headed
Aunt Sarah?
207
00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:39,746
I know she's dead.
She been bald-head a long time.
208
00:09:39,829 --> 00:09:41,039
What are you
talking about?
209
00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:42,374
The bald-headed
aunt--
210
00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:45,877
Oh, my God! Gina!
211
00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:47,712
Why did you let her
go in there?
212
00:09:47,796 --> 00:09:49,589
[Gina screaming]
213
00:09:49,673 --> 00:09:52,217
Okay, alright. Okay,
214
00:09:53,802 --> 00:09:56,221
Martin, there's a dead man
in your bathroom.
215
00:09:56,304 --> 00:09:57,514
Babe, calm down,
alright.
216
00:09:57,555 --> 00:09:59,474
Breathe. Breathe.
Come on, breathe.
217
00:09:59,557 --> 00:10:00,725
It's okay.
218
00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:02,018
What happened?
219
00:10:02,060 --> 00:10:04,020
Remember I was having
trouble with the toilet?
220
00:10:04,062 --> 00:10:06,731
Yeah, but, baby, I didn't think
it was that bad.
221
00:10:07,732 --> 00:10:09,484
This is so awful.
222
00:10:09,567 --> 00:10:12,237
I feel so bad
for that poor man.
223
00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:16,825
Does this mean we're not going
to the Pistons game?
224
00:10:17,575 --> 00:10:19,160
Martin, call 9-1-1.
225
00:10:19,244 --> 00:10:21,162
Babe, I called them
a half an hour ago.
226
00:10:21,246 --> 00:10:23,373
They said, if there's no crime,
there's no rush.
227
00:10:23,415 --> 00:10:25,834
Then steal his wallet
and call them back.
228
00:10:33,174 --> 00:10:35,719
(man on radio)
'With a Isiah Thomas
3-pointer at the buzzer'
229
00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:37,095
'the Pistons go to half time'
230
00:10:37,178 --> 00:10:39,764
'tied with the Clippers
at 62 apiece.'
231
00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:43,601
'This could be the seasons
greatest game.'
232
00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:46,438
Okay, we've been sitting
here for two hours.
233
00:10:46,521 --> 00:10:48,606
Is there anybody else
can we call anybody else?
234
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:49,607
Who, Pam? Who?
235
00:10:49,691 --> 00:10:51,109
We called 9-1-1
236
00:10:51,192 --> 00:10:53,194
we call the fire department,
the police department.
237
00:10:53,278 --> 00:10:56,698
We even called Billy
with the pickup truck.
238
00:10:56,781 --> 00:10:58,241
And they all say,
the same thing
239
00:10:58,283 --> 00:11:00,577
"Stay with the body
till 9-1-1 comes."
240
00:11:00,618 --> 00:11:02,912
What is 9-1-1's problem?
241
00:11:02,954 --> 00:11:05,165
Yo, you know what,
I think I know their problem.
242
00:11:05,248 --> 00:11:07,542
9-1-1's a joke.
I know what's up.
243
00:11:07,584 --> 00:11:08,960
I know how to get them
over here.
244
00:11:09,044 --> 00:11:11,921
- Good.
- Watch this.
245
00:11:11,963 --> 00:11:13,715
Hi. How are you doing?
246
00:11:15,133 --> 00:11:16,259
Well, look here.
247
00:11:16,301 --> 00:11:19,888
This is Thurston O'Reilly III.
Yeah.
248
00:11:19,971 --> 00:11:22,140
Boy, I got to tell you,
what a sad day.
249
00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:25,477
Honey, bring me a Martini.
Come on.
250
00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:28,980
Listen, I wish to report the
death of one of my employees
251
00:11:29,064 --> 00:11:31,441
on East 23rd street.
252
00:11:31,483 --> 00:11:34,819
No, I'm a white man. I tell you
the truth. I'm a white man.
253
00:11:34,903 --> 00:11:36,696
Nothing makes my day
more bright
254
00:11:36,780 --> 00:11:38,990
than waking up white,
I gotta tell you.
255
00:11:40,158 --> 00:11:43,828
Yeah, well, I mean,
I can prove it.
256
00:11:43,912 --> 00:11:44,871
Ask me anything.
257
00:11:44,954 --> 00:11:46,373
Okay, fine.
258
00:11:46,456 --> 00:11:49,167
They want to know what
America's favorite pie is.
259
00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:50,919
Sweet potato pie.
Sweet potato pie.
260
00:11:51,002 --> 00:11:53,046
No, no, no, bean pie
go with, bean pie.
261
00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:56,007
No, no, it's apple pie.
Baby, say apple pie.
262
00:11:56,049 --> 00:11:57,676
- Good answer.
- Good answer.
263
00:11:57,759 --> 00:11:59,844
Apple pie.
Good answer.
264
00:12:02,180 --> 00:12:04,057
We're going to go
with apple pie.
265
00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:06,017
Got it!
266
00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:07,727
I knew it was apple pie.
267
00:12:07,811 --> 00:12:09,270
Alright, here we go.
268
00:12:09,354 --> 00:12:10,647
Huh? Okay.
269
00:12:10,689 --> 00:12:12,607
Name two Barry Manilow songs.
270
00:12:12,691 --> 00:12:15,026
- Barry Manilow?
- What?
271
00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:17,362
"Copacabana" and "Mandy."
272
00:12:22,867 --> 00:12:25,620
"Copacabana" and "Mandy."
273
00:12:25,704 --> 00:12:27,372
Got it!
274
00:12:27,414 --> 00:12:28,748
Good answer!
275
00:12:28,832 --> 00:12:30,750
Woo! Woo!
276
00:12:30,834 --> 00:12:33,712
Come on, bring it on.
277
00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:35,714
Alright, um, alright.
278
00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:38,091
What do you
put on a sandwich?
279
00:12:39,217 --> 00:12:40,510
Hot sauce.
280
00:12:40,552 --> 00:12:41,928
Yeah, yeah
281
00:12:42,012 --> 00:12:44,347
and some barbecue sauce
if it's a hot links--
282
00:12:44,389 --> 00:12:47,058
Hello? Hello?
283
00:12:50,395 --> 00:12:52,313
[imitates buzzer sound]
284
00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:55,775
Way to go.
Now, what do we do now?
285
00:12:57,027 --> 00:12:58,403
(man on radio)
'And the Pistons win'
286
00:12:58,486 --> 00:13:02,073
'in a record-breaking
triple overtime, 150-149'
287
00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:03,992
'on an Isiah Thomas jump shot.'
288
00:13:04,075 --> 00:13:05,952
'I gotta tell you, Bill,
I feel for those fans'
289
00:13:06,036 --> 00:13:09,372
'who left those five
front row seats empty.'
290
00:13:09,414 --> 00:13:11,166
Watch his head, y'all.
291
00:13:11,249 --> 00:13:13,001
What do you mean,
"Watch his head?" He's dead.
292
00:13:13,084 --> 00:13:14,294
[groans]
Can we rest, please?
293
00:13:14,377 --> 00:13:15,754
- Just a little farther.
- I need to step. No.
294
00:13:15,837 --> 00:13:17,255
[thuds]
No, not yet.
295
00:13:18,923 --> 00:13:21,760
Alright, okay,
now, listen up.
296
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:23,428
We're going to
take him downstairs
297
00:13:23,511 --> 00:13:25,305
lay him on the curb
298
00:13:25,388 --> 00:13:28,641
I'll pour scotch
in his mouth, call a cab
299
00:13:28,725 --> 00:13:31,686
and tell him my Uncle Charlie
on the curb drunk.
300
00:13:31,770 --> 00:13:33,480
That's a good plan.
301
00:13:33,563 --> 00:13:35,148
Martin, I can't do this.
302
00:13:35,231 --> 00:13:37,317
Baby, listen
call a cab, alright?
303
00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:38,568
No.
304
00:13:38,610 --> 00:13:40,278
Okay, alright, fine.
305
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:42,447
- Plan B..
- Plan B.
306
00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:43,448
We kick him down the steps.
307
00:13:43,531 --> 00:13:45,075
Turn him around.
308
00:13:45,116 --> 00:13:47,494
Wait a minute!
Where's your humanity?
309
00:13:47,577 --> 00:13:49,954
This mad has died and you're
treating him like trash.
310
00:13:50,038 --> 00:13:53,208
Gina, what are we supposed to do
lower him on a rope?
311
00:13:53,291 --> 00:13:56,169
That's a great one, Cole,
then we treat him like a piano.
312
00:13:56,252 --> 00:13:57,796
Stop. This is a human being.
313
00:13:57,837 --> 00:14:00,840
I don't care how desperate
we are, to get rid of this body.
314
00:14:00,924 --> 00:14:02,967
We're treating him
with some respect.
315
00:14:03,051 --> 00:14:05,136
So, let's put him on the couch
316
00:14:05,220 --> 00:14:08,431
and say some words
of remembrance, alright?
317
00:14:08,473 --> 00:14:09,808
Yeah, yeah.
318
00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:11,393
What's wrong with y'all, man
319
00:14:11,476 --> 00:14:14,145
talking about the lower
on the rope and the piano?
320
00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:16,314
Because this man's
a human being, ain't he?
321
00:14:16,398 --> 00:14:18,692
And-and that's
what everybody likes.
322
00:14:18,775 --> 00:14:21,277
Excuse me. Can I go
to the bathroom?
323
00:14:21,319 --> 00:14:23,071
Cole, it will only
take a second, alright.
324
00:14:23,154 --> 00:14:24,364
You're right, um..
325
00:14:24,447 --> 00:14:25,824
Here, do it this way.
Tommy, pull this.
326
00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:27,325
- Okay, okay.
- Don't..
327
00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:28,702
- Cole, you roll him up.
- Roll him up?
328
00:14:28,785 --> 00:14:30,995
Come on, man.
329
00:14:31,037 --> 00:14:32,706
On the count of three.
Lift up the couch.
330
00:14:32,789 --> 00:14:35,709
One, two, three. Ooh.
331
00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:37,252
- Get up.
- Come on.
332
00:14:37,335 --> 00:14:40,005
Can you get his feet?
Cole, get his arm.
333
00:14:40,046 --> 00:14:41,548
- Get this..
- Bring him around. Move.
334
00:14:41,631 --> 00:14:43,842
- Oh. Cole!
- Will you get up, silly.
335
00:14:43,925 --> 00:14:46,011
- Take this.
- Bring him around.
336
00:14:46,052 --> 00:14:47,512
Lift him up. Go!
337
00:14:47,595 --> 00:14:50,098
Alright, here we go.
338
00:14:50,181 --> 00:14:53,685
Alright, let's
do this right, okay?
339
00:14:53,727 --> 00:14:56,646
Pam, Pam,
go get his tools.
340
00:14:56,688 --> 00:14:57,814
Yeah.
341
00:14:57,856 --> 00:14:59,566
Alright, uh..
342
00:15:01,693 --> 00:15:04,195
Does he have a wallet?
We should know his name.
343
00:15:04,279 --> 00:15:05,572
No, I already checked.
344
00:15:05,655 --> 00:15:07,240
Cole, what are you..
345
00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:11,286
Well, let's give him a name.
346
00:15:13,163 --> 00:15:14,456
He looks like a Michael.
347
00:15:14,539 --> 00:15:17,375
No, I think, he looks
like a Jimmy.
348
00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:18,960
Yo, D.P.
349
00:15:19,044 --> 00:15:20,587
- 'That's a good one.'
- 'That's good.'
350
00:15:20,670 --> 00:15:24,049
D.P? That's so nice.
Where did you come up with that?
351
00:15:24,132 --> 00:15:26,134
Dead Plumber, baby.
352
00:15:33,641 --> 00:15:35,602
Nice touch, Pam.
353
00:15:35,685 --> 00:15:38,396
Alright, Martin,
say a few words, honey, okay?
354
00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:39,397
Alright.
355
00:15:39,481 --> 00:15:41,441
So, everybody get here
on the heart
356
00:15:41,524 --> 00:15:43,610
because it's coming
from here.
357
00:15:43,693 --> 00:15:44,694
Place the hand..
358
00:15:44,736 --> 00:15:46,071
Aright.
359
00:15:47,781 --> 00:15:49,532
A man was born.
360
00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:52,285
He laid pipe..
361
00:15:54,079 --> 00:15:55,580
...and died.
362
00:15:57,457 --> 00:15:58,750
Whew! Amen.
363
00:16:02,253 --> 00:16:03,922
Forget it, Martin.
364
00:16:04,005 --> 00:16:06,591
Tommy, could you say
a few words, please?
365
00:16:06,633 --> 00:16:08,593
Okay, let's see.
366
00:16:09,886 --> 00:16:12,055
Brothers and sisters..
367
00:16:12,931 --> 00:16:15,308
we are gathered here today..
368
00:16:15,392 --> 00:16:16,685
Yeah.
369
00:16:16,768 --> 00:16:19,646
To pay tribute to D.P.
370
00:16:19,729 --> 00:16:20,980
Uh-huh.
371
00:16:21,064 --> 00:16:23,441
We don't know if he
was a good man, huh?
372
00:16:24,776 --> 00:16:28,655
I said we don't know
if he was a bad man.
373
00:16:28,738 --> 00:16:29,948
Right.
374
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:34,119
See, all we know here,
he was a man.
375
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:35,662
- Yeah.
- Well.
376
00:16:35,745 --> 00:16:38,873
A ham sandwich-eating man.
377
00:16:38,957 --> 00:16:40,166
- Uh-huh.
- Uh-huh.
378
00:16:40,250 --> 00:16:43,378
A no
appointment-keeping man.
379
00:16:44,879 --> 00:16:45,880
(Cole)
'Go ahead!'
380
00:16:45,964 --> 00:16:47,132
A low-pants-riding..
381
00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:48,299
♪ Low pants riding ♪
382
00:16:48,383 --> 00:16:49,801
He's a t-shirt creeping..
383
00:16:49,884 --> 00:16:51,011
♪ Creep creep ♪
384
00:16:51,094 --> 00:16:52,178
Say it four times.
385
00:16:52,262 --> 00:16:53,471
♪ Creep creep creep creep ♪
386
00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:55,056
♪ Hey ♪
387
00:16:55,140 --> 00:16:56,641
♪ Hey ♪
388
00:16:56,725 --> 00:16:58,143
♪ hey ♪
389
00:16:59,394 --> 00:17:03,023
I said he was
a butt-crack-showing..
390
00:17:05,150 --> 00:17:06,151
- Butt.
- Butt.
391
00:17:06,192 --> 00:17:07,277
♪ You you ♪
392
00:17:07,318 --> 00:17:08,611
♪ You you ♪♪
393
00:17:08,653 --> 00:17:10,363
You don't hear me.
394
00:17:10,447 --> 00:17:12,615
Well, now, goodbye,
brother D.P.
395
00:17:13,992 --> 00:17:17,287
We wish you well
on your journey
396
00:17:17,328 --> 00:17:20,290
Because we know the good Lord
has called you home.
397
00:17:20,331 --> 00:17:22,792
He must have some toilets
stopped-up up there.
398
00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:28,798
Let us all say..
399
00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:29,924
Amen.
400
00:17:30,008 --> 00:17:31,176
- Amen.
- Amen.
401
00:17:31,259 --> 00:17:34,054
It's alright, brother.
It's alright.
402
00:17:45,023 --> 00:17:47,817
♪ I get weary ♪
403
00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:53,823
♪ And sick of tryin' ♪
404
00:17:55,367 --> 00:18:00,038
♪ I'm tired of livin' ♪
405
00:18:00,121 --> 00:18:05,293
♪ But I'm scared of dyin' ♪
406
00:18:06,544 --> 00:18:11,633
♪ But ol' man river ♪
407
00:18:11,716 --> 00:18:17,972
♪ He just keeps rolling a.. ♪
408
00:18:18,056 --> 00:18:21,226
♪ Ah-hoo ♪
409
00:18:22,352 --> 00:18:25,230
♪ Ooh-haa ♪
410
00:18:29,317 --> 00:18:34,739
♪ Long ♪♪
411
00:18:43,164 --> 00:18:47,252
Okay, let's just, um, have
a few moments of silence.
412
00:18:50,588 --> 00:18:51,548
[coughing]
413
00:18:51,589 --> 00:18:53,133
[all screaming]
414
00:18:55,844 --> 00:18:57,762
[coughing]
415
00:18:58,972 --> 00:19:01,307
Yeah, ha ha ha!
It's a miracle.
416
00:19:01,391 --> 00:19:03,393
It's a miracle.
417
00:19:03,435 --> 00:19:05,145
Nah, it's a stupor.
418
00:19:05,228 --> 00:19:06,688
A what?
419
00:19:06,771 --> 00:19:07,939
A stupor.
420
00:19:08,023 --> 00:19:10,150
I have this condition
that I fall into stupors.
421
00:19:10,233 --> 00:19:11,943
It's hell waking me up.
422
00:19:12,027 --> 00:19:14,154
But we checked for a pulse,
and everything, man.
423
00:19:14,237 --> 00:19:16,197
Hey, I'm fat.
424
00:19:18,241 --> 00:19:21,119
Sometimes it's hard to find.
425
00:19:21,161 --> 00:19:22,746
Thank God you're alive.
426
00:19:22,787 --> 00:19:25,749
Yeah, well thanks
for putting me on the couch.
427
00:19:25,790 --> 00:19:26,833
Last time this happened
428
00:19:26,916 --> 00:19:29,294
somebody had kicked me
down the stairs
429
00:19:29,377 --> 00:19:31,880
put me on the curb,
poured scotch down my mouth.
430
00:19:33,089 --> 00:19:35,133
Damn.
431
00:19:35,175 --> 00:19:38,261
Well, anyways,
I fixed your toilet.
432
00:19:38,303 --> 00:19:40,305
I'll send you a bill.
433
00:19:40,388 --> 00:19:43,224
Just remember,
it'll cost you.
434
00:19:44,642 --> 00:19:47,812
It may cost you a little,
it may cost you a lot
435
00:19:49,105 --> 00:19:50,857
but it will cost you.
436
00:19:53,943 --> 00:19:55,862
Yo..
437
00:19:55,945 --> 00:20:00,158
this has been
the weirdest night.
438
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:01,743
Yeah, but, Tommy,
you preached.
439
00:20:01,826 --> 00:20:02,786
Thank you, baby.
440
00:20:02,827 --> 00:20:04,329
Yo.
441
00:20:04,412 --> 00:20:07,791
As weird as tonight was,
it made me feel good.
442
00:20:07,832 --> 00:20:10,043
We all sang
and came together
443
00:20:10,126 --> 00:20:12,545
and we were compassionate
for our fellow man.
444
00:20:12,629 --> 00:20:15,006
That's the way we should always
act, towards one an other.
445
00:20:15,048 --> 00:20:16,341
You know what I am sayin'.
446
00:20:16,383 --> 00:20:18,760
Because life is so short.
447
00:20:18,843 --> 00:20:19,928
Mm-hmm.
448
00:20:20,929 --> 00:20:23,431
But it seems so long..
449
00:20:23,515 --> 00:20:25,350
we you got to go
to the bathroom.
450
00:20:30,021 --> 00:20:31,356
[theme music]
451
00:20:37,028 --> 00:20:38,363
[theme music]
30625
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