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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,126 --> 00:00:03,461 They say, you never forget your first kiss. 2 00:00:03,545 --> 00:00:06,965 Well, uh, I never forgot mine. 3 00:00:07,048 --> 00:00:09,217 I was eight, she was eleven. 4 00:00:09,300 --> 00:00:12,178 Rachael Wyatt. Sweet face. 5 00:00:12,262 --> 00:00:16,266 Girl weighed about 240 pounds strong. 6 00:00:17,434 --> 00:00:18,977 She was standing by the monkey bars 7 00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:21,062 with a weird look in her eyes. 8 00:00:21,146 --> 00:00:23,606 So I ran like hell in other direction. 9 00:00:24,816 --> 00:00:27,819 But, uh, for a chubby girl, baby was fast. 10 00:00:27,902 --> 00:00:31,114 Before I knew it, she had pinned me to the ground. 11 00:00:32,741 --> 00:00:34,743 Just slobbing and kissing all over me. 12 00:00:34,826 --> 00:00:38,204 I felt like my face was in a car wash. 13 00:00:38,288 --> 00:00:40,290 Messed me up. Messed me up bad. 14 00:00:42,417 --> 00:00:45,128 Till this day whenever I see someone spitting 15 00:00:45,170 --> 00:00:46,796 or washing their car.. 16 00:00:48,631 --> 00:00:51,509 ...I think of you, Rachael Wyatt. 17 00:00:51,551 --> 00:00:52,844 My first kiss. 18 00:00:57,557 --> 00:01:00,518 [theme song] 19 00:01:03,355 --> 00:01:05,690 ♪ Martin ♪ 20 00:01:05,774 --> 00:01:07,859 ♪ Martin ♪ 21 00:01:07,942 --> 00:01:10,904 ♪ Martin Lawrence yeah ♪ 22 00:01:10,987 --> 00:01:11,946 How y'all been? 23 00:01:12,030 --> 00:01:13,865 ♪ Martin ♪ 24 00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:15,909 ♪ Martin ♪ 25 00:01:15,992 --> 00:01:18,953 ♪ Martin Lawrence yeah ♪ 26 00:01:19,037 --> 00:01:20,622 He's so crazy! 27 00:01:28,672 --> 00:01:30,298 ♪ Martin ♪ 28 00:01:30,382 --> 00:01:33,593 ♪ Martin Lawrence yeah ♪ 29 00:01:33,677 --> 00:01:34,678 How y'all been? 30 00:01:34,719 --> 00:01:36,638 ♪ Martin ♪ 31 00:01:36,721 --> 00:01:38,473 ♪ Martin ♪ 32 00:01:38,556 --> 00:01:41,726 ♪ Martin Lawrence ♪♪ 33 00:01:45,230 --> 00:01:46,398 [instrumental music] 34 00:02:06,501 --> 00:02:08,336 - Oh! - Mm.. 35 00:02:08,420 --> 00:02:10,672 Martin, quit messing with me. I'm eating my cereal now. 36 00:02:10,755 --> 00:02:12,841 You want some sugar with that, sugar-girl? 37 00:02:12,924 --> 00:02:14,175 No, no! Hey, hey, stop it. 38 00:02:14,259 --> 00:02:15,635 You're gonna make milk come out my nose. 39 00:02:15,719 --> 00:02:17,929 You know what I like. Baby, make it go.. 40 00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:19,431 [imitates a splat] 41 00:02:19,472 --> 00:02:21,433 - That is disgusting. - Is it? 42 00:02:21,516 --> 00:02:24,019 Cut it out, Martin, Pam is gonna be here any minute 43 00:02:24,102 --> 00:02:26,438 to take me to work. Now, stop. 44 00:02:26,479 --> 00:02:28,231 Let me get that for you, babe. 45 00:02:35,030 --> 00:02:36,573 I'm reaching for you. 46 00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:41,453 - You know what you need? - Oh, I know what I need. 47 00:02:41,494 --> 00:02:43,496 You need a footstool. Thank you. 48 00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:45,582 - A what? - A footstool. 49 00:02:45,623 --> 00:02:47,500 My grand mommy used to have the sweetest little 50 00:02:47,584 --> 00:02:50,337 hand-embroidered footstool, whenever I was real good 51 00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:52,922 she would let me sit on it and tell me stories. 52 00:02:52,964 --> 00:02:54,716 Aw, that's sweet, babe 53 00:02:54,799 --> 00:02:58,053 but my grandmother didn't need a footstool. 54 00:02:58,136 --> 00:03:01,806 - Why? What? - She had no feet. 55 00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:06,436 No. She had one but she only put it on when company over. 56 00:03:06,478 --> 00:03:08,521 She used to walk around the house like this. 57 00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:11,649 What are you talking about? 58 00:03:11,733 --> 00:03:14,986 I'm talking about wanting you, girl. 59 00:03:15,070 --> 00:03:16,654 That's what I'm talking about. 60 00:03:16,738 --> 00:03:19,366 Martin, Martin, hey, hey. Tonight is our anniversary. 61 00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:21,493 You can have me then, alright? 62 00:03:21,576 --> 00:03:23,620 Whoa, whoa, whoa, babe. 63 00:03:23,661 --> 00:03:25,497 Didn't we just celebrate out anniversary 64 00:03:25,538 --> 00:03:27,457 about two months ago? 65 00:03:27,499 --> 00:03:31,002 Martin, that was our one-year anniversary of our first date. 66 00:03:31,086 --> 00:03:32,671 Tonight is our one-year anniversary 67 00:03:32,754 --> 00:03:37,008 of the first time you, uh, you know. 68 00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:38,510 No, I don't know. What? 69 00:03:40,512 --> 00:03:44,265 The first time you ever said the "L" word. 70 00:03:44,349 --> 00:03:46,518 Lick me? 71 00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:48,645 Shut up! 72 00:03:48,687 --> 00:03:50,522 - What? - Be late to work for me. 73 00:03:50,605 --> 00:03:52,357 - No! No, no, no, no! - Come on, baby. 74 00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:55,235 You just said it's our anniversary. 75 00:03:55,318 --> 00:03:57,696 Come on, I let you sleep last night. 76 00:03:57,779 --> 00:04:00,156 - You are so bad. Yes. - Am I? Yes. 77 00:04:00,198 --> 00:04:02,784 Let me take off this dress, so we don't get it wrinkled. 78 00:04:02,867 --> 00:04:04,744 Good girl! 79 00:04:04,828 --> 00:04:06,746 [knock on door] 80 00:04:08,039 --> 00:04:10,291 - What? - Where's Gina? We got to go. 81 00:04:10,375 --> 00:04:13,211 - She not here. - She is, too here. 82 00:04:13,294 --> 00:04:15,588 - She told me she'd be here. - Hey. 83 00:04:15,672 --> 00:04:18,341 She asked me if I could ask you if you could wait in the car 84 00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:20,510 about five or ten minutes, alright? 85 00:04:20,552 --> 00:04:23,888 - Ten minutes. - You so nasty. 86 00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:27,100 Well, look, Gina told me today's your anniversary 87 00:04:27,183 --> 00:04:29,728 and you have to show her how important it is to you. 88 00:04:29,769 --> 00:04:32,272 And the way you do that is, you get her some jewelry. 89 00:04:32,355 --> 00:04:35,734 Good jewelry, please, don't get her that cheap gold-plated crap. 90 00:04:35,775 --> 00:04:38,611 You know what? You amaze me, Pam. Do you have a man? 91 00:04:38,695 --> 00:04:40,864 - You know I don't. - And I see why, okay. 92 00:04:40,905 --> 00:04:44,576 Let me tell you something, me and Gina's thing ain't material. 93 00:04:44,659 --> 00:04:46,661 Alright? It's all up in here, okay. 94 00:04:46,745 --> 00:04:50,123 The heart, that's our thing. The love thing, here. 95 00:04:50,206 --> 00:04:53,626 Well, you just make sure that Gina's is here and here. 96 00:04:53,710 --> 00:04:57,130 Hello, hello, hello...Pam. 97 00:04:57,213 --> 00:04:59,507 My beautiful Nubian goddess. 98 00:05:01,051 --> 00:05:02,469 Hi, Tommy. How are you? 99 00:05:02,552 --> 00:05:04,763 You know what? I'm glad everybody knows each other. 100 00:05:04,846 --> 00:05:07,432 - Out! Bye! - I've got to go to work! 101 00:05:07,474 --> 00:05:09,601 [indistinct] 102 00:05:09,684 --> 00:05:12,187 Hey, girl, girl, I didn't know it was that late. I'm sorry. 103 00:05:12,270 --> 00:05:13,605 - Hi.. - Hey, wait. 104 00:05:13,688 --> 00:05:15,106 They, they're leaving. 105 00:05:16,775 --> 00:05:18,651 Since all these people are already here 106 00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:20,445 I'll just see you tonight, alright, baby? 107 00:05:20,528 --> 00:05:22,280 - What? - Tonight. Tonight. 108 00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:23,948 - Baby! - Bye! 109 00:05:25,784 --> 00:05:27,827 Happy anniversary, Martin. 110 00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:31,790 Yeah, alright. And I'll see you later, right, Pam? 111 00:05:31,873 --> 00:05:35,585 - My delicious chocolate ho-ho? - What did you call me? 112 00:05:35,627 --> 00:05:39,631 He meant ring-ding, you know, cupcake? 113 00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:41,508 Don't play with me, Cole. 114 00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:44,969 What the heck was that? Ho-ho? 115 00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:48,932 Come on, man. Look, you know, she made me nervous. 116 00:05:48,973 --> 00:05:51,101 Cole...you stupid. 117 00:05:52,769 --> 00:05:55,313 Martin, what you guys are gonna do for your anniversary? 118 00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:57,399 - Nothing, man. - Nothing? 119 00:05:57,482 --> 00:05:59,359 What you mean? Martin, bro, take it from me, my brother 120 00:05:59,442 --> 00:06:02,195 woman are very sensitive when it comes to anniversaries. 121 00:06:02,278 --> 00:06:03,780 Ooh, that's right. Ha! 122 00:06:05,115 --> 00:06:06,783 Cole, how would you know, man? 123 00:06:06,825 --> 00:06:08,618 You live at home with your mother. 124 00:06:08,660 --> 00:06:11,162 Hey, I got my own room. 125 00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:13,164 Martin, look, tonight 126 00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:15,041 has got to be very special, if you blow it off 127 00:06:15,125 --> 00:06:17,585 you just may spend next year's anniversary alone. 128 00:06:17,669 --> 00:06:18,920 You know what? You kill me, Tommy. 129 00:06:19,004 --> 00:06:21,381 Look, I'll never ever be alone. You know why? 130 00:06:21,464 --> 00:06:23,717 'Cause you two are always here. 131 00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:26,011 Okay, Martin. Fine, You do your own thing, okay? 132 00:06:26,094 --> 00:06:28,179 - Let's go play ball. - I can't play ball today now. 133 00:06:28,263 --> 00:06:32,851 See, I can't go now, 'cause I'm working on my radio show, alone. 134 00:06:32,934 --> 00:06:36,938 - You work on that. - Yeah, I will work on that. 135 00:06:37,022 --> 00:06:39,065 It's very funny though, both of y'all 136 00:06:39,149 --> 00:06:40,567 wanna tell me about my anniversary 137 00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:42,902 and you ain't got nobody. 138 00:06:42,986 --> 00:06:44,612 Very funny. 139 00:06:44,696 --> 00:06:47,073 You ain't seen none since it seen you. 140 00:06:47,157 --> 00:06:48,783 Think about that one. 141 00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:55,915 No. Matter of fact, you ain't had none since it had you. 142 00:06:59,127 --> 00:07:01,379 Cole, hurry up so I can take you to the hoop. 143 00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:02,922 Uh, excuse me, I think we know 144 00:07:03,006 --> 00:07:04,632 who's gonna get taken to the hoop, right? 145 00:07:04,716 --> 00:07:06,384 No, no, no. Junior, you're going to get schooled. 146 00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:09,054 - Alright? - Junior? 147 00:07:09,137 --> 00:07:10,597 And just call me senior. 148 00:07:12,390 --> 00:07:13,725 What's up? 149 00:07:15,185 --> 00:07:17,479 - What's up, Sheneneh? - Hi, Cole. How you two doing? 150 00:07:17,562 --> 00:07:20,231 Don't get her started, alright? 151 00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:21,524 Oh, my goodness. 152 00:07:21,566 --> 00:07:22,776 Now, Tommy, I know you ain't tripping 153 00:07:22,859 --> 00:07:25,528 with your little bald-headed self. 154 00:07:25,570 --> 00:07:27,072 It takes more than a bald head 155 00:07:27,113 --> 00:07:29,074 to be like Michael Jordan, anyway. 156 00:07:30,241 --> 00:07:33,078 Neneh, look, I-I don't want any trouble, okay? 157 00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:34,579 All I want is for you to give me the ball-- 158 00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:36,247 - No, Tommy. - Give me the ball. 159 00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:37,957 - No, Tommy! - Sheneneh, give me the ball. 160 00:07:38,041 --> 00:07:41,670 - No! - Oh, Sheneneh, sweetheart.. 161 00:07:41,753 --> 00:07:44,005 I'm trying awfully hard to be patient 162 00:07:44,089 --> 00:07:46,257 with your little tired ass, now give me the ball! 163 00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:48,510 Tired? Since I'm so tired, take the ball. 164 00:07:48,551 --> 00:07:49,886 Since I'm so tired, take the ball from me. 165 00:07:49,928 --> 00:07:51,596 Sheneneh, what are you talking about? 166 00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:53,431 I will show you what I'm talking about. Take the ball. 167 00:07:53,515 --> 00:07:55,725 - Take the ball, man. - I'll take it! I'll take it! 168 00:07:55,767 --> 00:07:58,269 Okay? I'll take it! Let's go! Let's go! 169 00:07:58,311 --> 00:08:00,772 I'll show you, I'll show you what a girl could do to you. 170 00:08:00,855 --> 00:08:03,983 [indistinct shouting] 171 00:08:05,777 --> 00:08:07,612 Come on, look at me ride, Tommy. 172 00:08:07,696 --> 00:08:09,572 Look at me, Tommy. Look at me, Tommy. 173 00:08:09,614 --> 00:08:11,908 Look at you, Tommy. Look at you, Tommy. 174 00:08:11,950 --> 00:08:13,785 - No. Oh, no, no, no! - Ah! 175 00:08:13,868 --> 00:08:15,870 If I wanted to, I can take that ball. 176 00:08:15,954 --> 00:08:17,288 You, yo, come on, man, let's take her with us. 177 00:08:17,372 --> 00:08:18,957 We can make some money off her. 178 00:08:18,998 --> 00:08:21,960 No, Cole, I'm sure Sheneneh's got something better to do. 179 00:08:22,043 --> 00:08:23,628 Well, I was gonna go workout, but, I mean 180 00:08:23,712 --> 00:08:24,963 if y'all want me to go with ya, I'll go. 181 00:08:25,046 --> 00:08:27,507 - Oh, God. - Come on, girl. Come on. 182 00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:30,010 Who says black gals can't jump? 183 00:08:30,093 --> 00:08:32,262 You gotta stop letting people post you up, Tommy. 184 00:08:32,303 --> 00:08:33,722 Oh, no. 185 00:08:36,266 --> 00:08:38,101 Before we wrap up, I'd like to say 186 00:08:38,143 --> 00:08:39,978 a little something about anniversaries. 187 00:08:40,061 --> 00:08:41,896 My lady says tonight is the anniversary 188 00:08:41,980 --> 00:08:44,774 of the first time I told her I love her. 189 00:08:44,816 --> 00:08:47,068 Let me ask you a question, do you have to celebrate 190 00:08:47,152 --> 00:08:50,196 and give gifts the first time you do everything? 191 00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:51,823 I mean, 'cause I don't remember the first time 192 00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:53,283 I let her eat off my plate? I mean.. 193 00:08:53,324 --> 00:08:56,703 And what gift do you give for that, a fork? 194 00:08:56,786 --> 00:08:59,706 I don't know. Let me hear from you, Detroit. 195 00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:01,124 What up, talk to me. 196 00:09:01,166 --> 00:09:04,002 - 'Hello, Mason?' - No, man, this is Martin. 197 00:09:04,085 --> 00:09:05,837 (male #1) 'Okay, okay. Hey, Mason.' 198 00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:08,006 'Uh, I'd like to dedicate this very special song' 199 00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:09,966 'to my old lady. It's our anniversary.' 200 00:09:10,008 --> 00:09:14,179 'We been together seven beautiful days.' 201 00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:16,056 Well, that's beautiful, man, but listen, man 202 00:09:16,139 --> 00:09:17,974 this is talk radio, man, alright? 203 00:09:18,016 --> 00:09:19,684 We're talking anniversaries. 204 00:09:19,726 --> 00:09:22,687 (male #1) 'Well, did I win some piston tickets, then?' 205 00:09:22,771 --> 00:09:25,065 - No, man. - 'Well, let me get a t-shirt?' 206 00:09:25,148 --> 00:09:27,734 Yo, man, you're out of here. Next caller, what up? 207 00:09:27,817 --> 00:09:32,322 (male #2) 'Yo, Mart-in, I got an anniversary for you, man.' 208 00:09:32,364 --> 00:09:34,032 'I just celebrated the anniversary of the first time' 209 00:09:34,115 --> 00:09:36,326 'I caught my wife cheating on me, man.' 210 00:09:36,368 --> 00:09:38,286 Well, what gift did you give her for that? 211 00:09:38,370 --> 00:09:40,955 (male #2) 'Oh, something real special. A four-alarm fire.' 212 00:09:41,039 --> 00:09:43,041 'I burned her lover's house down, man.' 213 00:09:44,501 --> 00:09:46,670 Well, I guess it's the thought that counts, huh? 214 00:09:46,711 --> 00:09:48,755 Whoa. See ya when I see ya. 215 00:09:48,838 --> 00:09:51,132 This is Martin Payne. I'm outty. 216 00:09:52,801 --> 00:09:54,552 [chuckles] Good show, Martin. 217 00:09:54,636 --> 00:09:56,805 - Thanks, man. - Yo, you hear that? 218 00:09:56,888 --> 00:09:58,348 - Mason. - Mason. 219 00:10:00,225 --> 00:10:01,434 What's up, boss man? 220 00:10:01,518 --> 00:10:04,562 Sean, that's the third cup you have used this week. 221 00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:06,231 Are you trying to bankrupt me? 222 00:10:07,732 --> 00:10:09,567 - Hey, Martin. - What's up, man? 223 00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:11,277 - About your anniversary.. - Yeah. 224 00:10:11,361 --> 00:10:13,822 Don't give Gina nothing. 225 00:10:13,905 --> 00:10:15,740 Buy yourself something. 226 00:10:15,824 --> 00:10:19,744 Uh, jumper cables, leather shoes, a box of cigars. 227 00:10:19,786 --> 00:10:21,746 Wrap it up, give it to her 228 00:10:21,830 --> 00:10:24,165 she's gonna hate it and give it right back. 229 00:10:24,249 --> 00:10:27,210 That way when she dumps you, you won't be out of nothing. 230 00:10:27,252 --> 00:10:30,088 You, man. Come on, man. You know Gina ain't going for that. 231 00:10:30,171 --> 00:10:33,383 - Hey, I got an idea though. - What's up? 232 00:10:33,425 --> 00:10:35,635 Jars. Big jars. 233 00:10:35,719 --> 00:10:38,930 Women just seem to love sticking things in jars. 234 00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:42,308 Uh, uh, who you talking to, Sean? 235 00:10:42,392 --> 00:10:45,145 Well, I'm talking to Martin. He just wanted my advice. 236 00:10:45,228 --> 00:10:47,939 Hey, you know what? I don't want either one of your advice. 237 00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:50,275 See? He wasn't talking to you, Sean. 238 00:10:51,609 --> 00:10:54,154 Now, Martin, here's what you do, man. 239 00:10:54,237 --> 00:10:56,531 You give her a gift she thinks is for herself 240 00:10:56,614 --> 00:10:57,991 but it's really for you. 241 00:10:58,074 --> 00:11:01,369 - Yeah, like jars. - Get away from me, Sean! 242 00:11:03,246 --> 00:11:07,000 - You go to this place, bro. - Hey, man.. 243 00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:10,045 - "Trashy underwear," man? - Shut up, man! 244 00:11:10,128 --> 00:11:13,715 See, that's your problem. You don't listen. 245 00:11:13,798 --> 00:11:17,302 Martin, they got everything. 246 00:11:17,385 --> 00:11:20,847 Hey...changed my life, man. 247 00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:27,312 Yo, bro, tell that old broad that Stan sent you. 248 00:11:29,647 --> 00:11:31,024 Thank you, Stan. 249 00:11:32,442 --> 00:11:34,652 - Re.. Jars. - You know what? 250 00:11:34,736 --> 00:11:36,988 You and Stan keep telling me what Gina wants. 251 00:11:37,072 --> 00:11:39,741 Let me tell you something, it's not jars, it's not jewelry 252 00:11:39,824 --> 00:11:42,577 it's not lingerie. Yo, man, it's me. 253 00:11:42,660 --> 00:11:45,997 Uno nuno. Me, okay? 254 00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:48,291 Just me. No presents, no gifts. 255 00:11:48,333 --> 00:11:49,834 Just me, man. Alright? 256 00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:52,796 Alright. That's sounds...okay. 257 00:11:56,007 --> 00:11:59,052 Your gift of love is here. 258 00:11:59,135 --> 00:12:02,806 Babe, what's going on in your place? 259 00:12:03,848 --> 00:12:05,141 Gina? 260 00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:08,895 Hey. 261 00:12:08,978 --> 00:12:10,522 See anything you like? 262 00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:13,358 - Do I? - Where you going? 263 00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,902 Into the kitchen, to check on your lobster dinner. 264 00:12:15,985 --> 00:12:17,570 Whoa, babe, you cooked? 265 00:12:17,654 --> 00:12:20,532 Yeah. See, tonight it's just gonna be you and me. 266 00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:21,866 - Alright. - Some lobster.. 267 00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:24,160 - Mm. - Oh, yeah, I almost forgot! 268 00:12:24,202 --> 00:12:26,830 I got you a few presents. Happy anniversary, Martin. 269 00:12:26,871 --> 00:12:29,374 You want to exchange gifts now or after dinner? 270 00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:31,376 [chuckles nervously] 271 00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:40,010 Baby, you know 272 00:12:40,051 --> 00:12:42,220 I really wish you, you didn't do this for me. 273 00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:44,806 Babe, I wish you hadn't done this. 274 00:12:44,889 --> 00:12:46,641 You can start with that. Go ahead. 275 00:12:46,725 --> 00:12:48,560 - Why, Gina? - That's nothing, baby. 276 00:12:48,643 --> 00:12:50,395 The real gift's in the other room. 277 00:12:50,478 --> 00:12:52,689 No. You did not buy me more gifts, babe. 278 00:12:52,731 --> 00:12:55,859 - Just open it. Open it. - You know what? 279 00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:57,527 Why are we gonna kill this romance? 280 00:12:57,569 --> 00:12:59,446 Let's, let's do like Christmas, you know how you wanna 281 00:12:59,529 --> 00:13:01,448 hurry up and go to bed, then you wanna wake up in the morning 282 00:13:01,531 --> 00:13:04,868 and open your gifts. Let's open it in the morning. 283 00:13:04,909 --> 00:13:07,078 Martin, tonight is our anniversary 284 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,956 not tomorrow morning. I'll go get the rest, okay? 285 00:13:13,585 --> 00:13:16,546 [whimpering] 286 00:13:28,266 --> 00:13:31,061 [screams] 287 00:13:31,102 --> 00:13:32,937 My God! What is it? 288 00:13:33,021 --> 00:13:35,023 A little something something. 289 00:13:41,279 --> 00:13:42,947 What is this? 290 00:13:42,989 --> 00:13:45,825 That's a candle that burns for your love. 291 00:13:47,786 --> 00:13:50,372 Martin, this is my candle off my piano. 292 00:13:50,455 --> 00:13:53,124 Is this some kind of game or something? 293 00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:58,546 I don't know why I try to fool you, babe. 294 00:13:58,630 --> 00:14:02,759 You went to college, and your brain just be brrr! You know? 295 00:14:02,801 --> 00:14:04,886 Yes, girl, it's like a game. 296 00:14:04,969 --> 00:14:07,013 It's like scavenger hunt. 297 00:14:07,097 --> 00:14:09,265 The candle is a clue. 298 00:14:09,307 --> 00:14:12,227 Guess what? Your gift's somewhere here in this house. 299 00:14:12,310 --> 00:14:15,021 [gasps] Martin, for real? You hid my gift? 300 00:14:15,105 --> 00:14:18,400 - You're so crazy! - 'Cause I'mma to do my thing. 301 00:14:18,441 --> 00:14:19,984 You got to find it. 302 00:14:22,153 --> 00:14:24,197 You got to find it now, okay? 303 00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:26,574 'Cause your man like that. Now I got to blindfold you. 304 00:14:26,658 --> 00:14:29,160 - Now, watch your hair weave. - Shut up. 305 00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:31,454 I'm just.. I'm just playing with you. 306 00:14:31,496 --> 00:14:33,248 Now, I'mma spin you 'cause it get a little 307 00:14:33,331 --> 00:14:35,834 dangerous out there. You gotta find it. Now, go, girl. 308 00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:37,002 Watch yourself, watch yourself. 309 00:14:37,043 --> 00:14:38,503 Ow! Martin! 310 00:14:38,545 --> 00:14:41,047 Baby, I told you it was rough out there. 311 00:14:41,131 --> 00:14:42,841 - Oh, baby! Okay.. - But you're warming up. 312 00:14:42,924 --> 00:14:45,176 I'm warmer, huh? Okay. 313 00:14:45,260 --> 00:14:46,469 You're warming up, baby. 314 00:14:46,511 --> 00:14:48,304 Martin, it's near you, isn't it? 315 00:14:48,346 --> 00:14:51,224 - It's why your voice.. - Yeah, baby, I know, yeah. 316 00:14:51,307 --> 00:14:53,268 You're warming up, girl. You're starting to steam. 317 00:14:53,351 --> 00:14:55,562 You're staring to burn. You're hot, baby. 318 00:14:55,645 --> 00:14:58,023 You hoy. You're burning! 319 00:14:58,106 --> 00:15:00,817 - Martin! - Tommy, pick up the phone. 320 00:15:00,859 --> 00:15:03,403 - Tommy! - What are you doing? 321 00:15:04,612 --> 00:15:07,282 Can you please do not call here anymore? 322 00:15:07,365 --> 00:15:09,451 I think that's very rude, okay? 323 00:15:09,534 --> 00:15:11,703 I'm trying to enjoy my anniversary 324 00:15:11,786 --> 00:15:14,414 with the one I love. Bye. 325 00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:18,043 They always try to sell you stuff. 326 00:15:19,169 --> 00:15:20,920 I'm so crazy. 327 00:15:22,547 --> 00:15:23,673 I.. I don't know. 328 00:15:23,715 --> 00:15:26,551 Babe, I got you spinning around here and guess what? 329 00:15:26,593 --> 00:15:27,427 What? 330 00:15:27,510 --> 00:15:29,971 Your gift ain't even in the house. 331 00:15:30,055 --> 00:15:32,223 - Where is it? - Downstairs, in the car. 332 00:15:32,307 --> 00:15:34,684 - We'll get it in the morning. - No. Go get it right now. 333 00:15:34,726 --> 00:15:37,270 - No, no, babe, we can-- - Go get it, Martin, please? 334 00:15:37,354 --> 00:15:40,648 - Does it mean that much? - Would you go? Go! 335 00:15:43,902 --> 00:15:47,030 [instrumental music] 336 00:15:58,041 --> 00:16:00,669 [screaming] 337 00:16:01,670 --> 00:16:03,421 The money's in the back! Ah! 338 00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:06,716 No, no, no, no, I don't want no money. I want some panties. 339 00:16:06,758 --> 00:16:08,301 [screams] 340 00:16:08,385 --> 00:16:10,845 No, not your panties. I want my own panties. 341 00:16:10,929 --> 00:16:12,681 Oh. Oh-ho-ho. 342 00:16:12,764 --> 00:16:15,183 Well, why didn't you say so in the first place? 343 00:16:15,266 --> 00:16:17,060 Okay. Now, listen, I need women's underwear 344 00:16:17,102 --> 00:16:18,478 and I need them in a hurry, okay? 345 00:16:18,561 --> 00:16:21,898 Oh, well, you're lucky, because I just happen to have 346 00:16:21,940 --> 00:16:24,859 these beautiful seatless panties. 347 00:16:24,901 --> 00:16:27,070 Make you feel like the Queen of England. 348 00:16:27,112 --> 00:16:29,781 No, not me. It's for my girl Gina. 349 00:16:29,823 --> 00:16:30,990 It's our anniversary. 350 00:16:31,074 --> 00:16:33,910 Oh, well, then these are all wrong. 351 00:16:33,952 --> 00:16:36,830 Yes, they are. Okay, now, listen.. 352 00:16:36,913 --> 00:16:38,331 I need something.. 353 00:16:39,624 --> 00:16:40,583 ...romantic. 354 00:16:40,625 --> 00:16:42,460 Oh, now, don't be bashful. 355 00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:43,712 What size is she? 356 00:16:43,795 --> 00:16:45,338 - She's about a five-- - No, no, no. 357 00:16:45,422 --> 00:16:47,465 I mean, my size? A little bigger? 358 00:16:47,549 --> 00:16:49,384 [laughs] 359 00:16:49,467 --> 00:16:51,469 Your size about 20 years ago. 360 00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:53,304 - Way back in the day. - Oh. 361 00:16:54,055 --> 00:16:55,640 [laughing] 362 00:16:55,724 --> 00:16:59,102 Now tell me, is this your very first time in a lingerie shop? 363 00:16:59,144 --> 00:17:01,146 No. No. 364 00:17:01,187 --> 00:17:03,314 Look me in the eye. 365 00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:08,862 - Yes, ma'am. - Ha-ha-ha. I thought so. 366 00:17:08,945 --> 00:17:10,655 I can spot 'em a mile off. 367 00:17:10,739 --> 00:17:14,075 A first-timer. Don't worry. I'll be gentle. 368 00:17:19,748 --> 00:17:24,586 Now, how about these beautiful French lace panties? 369 00:17:24,669 --> 00:17:29,090 Oh, you just don't see beautiful crotches like this anymore. 370 00:17:29,174 --> 00:17:31,843 All hand-sewn. Feel it. 371 00:17:31,926 --> 00:17:34,220 - Can I? - Of course. 372 00:17:35,430 --> 00:17:36,514 Ooh! 373 00:17:39,017 --> 00:17:41,186 This is nice. 374 00:17:41,269 --> 00:17:42,520 Can you wrap this up for me? 375 00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:45,148 Oh, my pleasure. Have a seat. 376 00:17:45,190 --> 00:17:47,275 You know, I'm thinking about this. 377 00:17:47,359 --> 00:17:49,235 Now it is your anniversary 378 00:17:49,319 --> 00:17:51,613 and you need something more special. 379 00:17:51,696 --> 00:17:53,406 Excuse me. 380 00:17:53,490 --> 00:17:57,118 And I have something more special than panties. 381 00:17:57,202 --> 00:17:59,329 It's a fantasy. 382 00:18:01,331 --> 00:18:07,003 Now, this comes with matching helmet and boots. 383 00:18:07,045 --> 00:18:09,756 Costs a little more, but to hell, it's your anniversary. 384 00:18:09,839 --> 00:18:11,216 - Right? - Right. 385 00:18:17,681 --> 00:18:18,765 Hey, babe. 386 00:18:20,517 --> 00:18:23,061 You ain't gonna believe what happened to me out there. 387 00:18:23,103 --> 00:18:25,313 - Where you been, Martin? - Look.. 388 00:18:25,397 --> 00:18:27,649 I know you're mad, alright, and I'm sorry 389 00:18:27,732 --> 00:18:30,568 I left you here alone for two hours, alright? 390 00:18:31,903 --> 00:18:34,030 But I got a perfectly good explanation. 391 00:18:34,072 --> 00:18:36,241 Like what? 392 00:18:36,324 --> 00:18:38,410 I don't know why I mess with Cole. 393 00:18:38,493 --> 00:18:40,704 What do I be thinking about, babe? 394 00:18:40,745 --> 00:18:43,998 Last night, Cole was supposed to come over here, right 395 00:18:44,082 --> 00:18:45,709 and hide your gift for me. 396 00:18:45,750 --> 00:18:48,962 So I get here tonight, and your gift ain't here. 397 00:18:49,045 --> 00:18:51,256 So I'm mad, baby, I'm boiling in the inside. 398 00:18:51,339 --> 00:18:54,718 'Cause I really want our relationship to work out, right? 399 00:18:54,759 --> 00:18:57,262 So I figure, right, I can hurry up downstairs 400 00:18:57,345 --> 00:19:00,306 jump in my car, jet over to Cole's house, right? 401 00:19:00,390 --> 00:19:02,767 Get your gift after punching him in his face, right 402 00:19:02,809 --> 00:19:06,604 and then, hurry up back before you know you even miss me. 403 00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:07,856 Daggone Cole. 404 00:19:08,857 --> 00:19:10,442 Don't make no sense. 405 00:19:11,609 --> 00:19:12,944 What are you, an idiot, Martin 406 00:19:12,986 --> 00:19:15,405 as well as an insensitive jackass? 407 00:19:15,447 --> 00:19:16,740 Why are you talking to me like that? 408 00:19:16,781 --> 00:19:19,451 I'm so mad at you I could kill you. 409 00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:20,952 This is our anniversary. 410 00:19:20,994 --> 00:19:24,831 And how do I spend it, Martin? All alone. And why? 411 00:19:24,914 --> 00:19:27,125 Why, Martin, 'cause you can't tell me the truth 412 00:19:27,167 --> 00:19:29,794 about not getting me a present. 413 00:19:29,836 --> 00:19:31,296 You have to ruin the whole evening 414 00:19:31,379 --> 00:19:33,798 just 'cause you can't be honest with me. 415 00:19:36,301 --> 00:19:38,678 Well, fine, Gina. 416 00:19:38,762 --> 00:19:39,804 Fine. 417 00:19:39,846 --> 00:19:41,306 Your man was wrong 418 00:19:41,389 --> 00:19:43,975 for trying to run out and get you a gift, Gina. 419 00:19:44,059 --> 00:19:45,226 Stop it, Martin. 420 00:19:45,310 --> 00:19:47,729 No, no. I deserve to be hurt. 421 00:19:47,812 --> 00:19:50,231 People don't want to see us together anyway. 422 00:19:50,315 --> 00:19:53,443 I'm jumping out the window, Gina. 423 00:19:53,485 --> 00:19:56,112 Martin, stop trying to make me laugh. It's not funny. 424 00:19:56,154 --> 00:19:58,656 No. I want to bust all this up.. 425 00:19:58,698 --> 00:19:59,824 Pow, pow, pow. 426 00:19:59,908 --> 00:20:01,076 And you shall push me. 427 00:20:01,159 --> 00:20:02,660 You deserve that much, Gina. 428 00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:03,995 Don't tempt me! 429 00:20:06,498 --> 00:20:08,792 You really want to push me, don't you? 430 00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:13,713 Hey, look, baby, I'm sorry, alright? 431 00:20:13,797 --> 00:20:16,633 I didn't know a gift was that important. 432 00:20:16,675 --> 00:20:19,177 It's not the gift, Martin. 433 00:20:19,219 --> 00:20:22,222 It's the thought. That's what's important. 434 00:20:24,349 --> 00:20:27,811 Look, baby, I'm sorry. 435 00:20:27,852 --> 00:20:31,231 Look, I messed up. You know me, I.. 436 00:20:31,314 --> 00:20:33,316 I didn't think, alright? I'm sorry. 437 00:20:33,358 --> 00:20:36,236 Forgive me, alright? Forgive me, alright? 438 00:20:36,319 --> 00:20:38,238 I forgive you, but I'm still mad at you. 439 00:20:38,321 --> 00:20:40,740 - Come on, you're not mad. - Yes, I am! 440 00:20:40,824 --> 00:20:43,326 I mean, look at this, Martin, "Trashy Underwear"? 441 00:20:43,368 --> 00:20:44,703 What was the thought behind that? 442 00:20:44,786 --> 00:20:47,956 I can't believe you would even buy me some sleazy.. 443 00:20:48,039 --> 00:20:50,500 [gasps] 444 00:20:51,876 --> 00:20:53,336 A footstool! 445 00:20:53,378 --> 00:20:55,213 - Oh, Martin! - Yeah, yeah! 446 00:20:55,255 --> 00:20:57,173 Now you're all over me! Huh? 447 00:20:57,215 --> 00:20:58,842 - Yeah. Say I'm the man. - You the man! 448 00:20:58,883 --> 00:21:01,052 - I'm the man! - You the, you the man, baby! 449 00:21:01,094 --> 00:21:02,262 That's right! 450 00:21:02,345 --> 00:21:03,930 And I had bought this for you 451 00:21:04,014 --> 00:21:05,682 about four months ago. 452 00:21:06,808 --> 00:21:08,768 - I'm lying again, huh? - Hmm. 453 00:21:08,852 --> 00:21:11,730 No, I bought this about two hours ago. 454 00:21:11,813 --> 00:21:14,274 But I gotta tell you, when I saw this 455 00:21:14,357 --> 00:21:17,235 I thought about you and our anniversary 456 00:21:17,318 --> 00:21:21,406 and the first time I said I loved you. 457 00:21:21,448 --> 00:21:22,699 You're my baby, you're my baby. 458 00:21:22,741 --> 00:21:24,909 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Mm. 459 00:21:26,745 --> 00:21:31,166 And I love you more now than I ever did before. 460 00:21:31,249 --> 00:21:32,500 You're my baby, you're my baby. 461 00:21:32,584 --> 00:21:34,753 - I'm your baby. I shall.. - Baby, baby.. 462 00:21:34,836 --> 00:21:37,297 [moaning] 463 00:21:37,964 --> 00:21:40,925 [theme music] 464 00:21:45,513 --> 00:21:48,433 [theme music] 465 00:22:01,279 --> 00:22:02,655 [yells] 466 00:22:08,495 --> 00:22:11,623 [music continues] 34895

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