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1
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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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Ooh, chicago!
2
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There is this pizza place
called gazzola's.
3
00:00:08,042 --> 00:00:09,475
It's fantastic.
4
00:00:09,477 --> 00:00:11,677
It was closed down for a while,
but it just reopened.
5
00:00:11,679 --> 00:00:13,545
I'm sure they got
a godzilla's in new york.
6
00:00:13,547 --> 00:00:14,847
We're not stopping.
7
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It's just pizza.
8
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Just... Pizza?
9
00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:22,121
Let me tell you
10
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About the thing
you say is just pizza.
11
00:00:26,127 --> 00:00:28,160
We begin with the first bite.
12
00:00:28,162 --> 00:00:30,229
Oh, the crunch!
13
00:00:30,231 --> 00:00:31,663
And then the marinara.
14
00:00:31,665 --> 00:00:34,333
That roiling lava
15
00:00:34,335 --> 00:00:37,970
Of tomato and oregano--
it overtakes you!
16
00:00:37,972 --> 00:00:40,973
I'm falling!
17
00:00:40,975 --> 00:00:43,976
And that's....
When she catches you.
18
00:00:43,978 --> 00:00:45,377
That chewy,
19
00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:49,415
Voluptuous mistress, mozzarella.
20
00:00:50,917 --> 00:00:55,020
Her oven-kissed cheeks crackle
with warmth in your mouth,
21
00:00:55,022 --> 00:00:56,889
Cradling the sauce
and the bread,
22
00:00:56,891 --> 00:00:59,058
Letting you know
that from now on...
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This... Is home.
24
00:01:03,930 --> 00:01:05,931
This pizza...
25
00:01:05,933 --> 00:01:08,000
Is home.
26
00:01:09,936 --> 00:01:11,904
If it was so delicious,
27
00:01:11,906 --> 00:01:14,540
Why'd they close it
in the first place?
28
00:01:14,542 --> 00:01:15,908
Rats.
We're not stopping!
29
00:01:15,910 --> 00:01:18,243
This road trip sucks!
30
00:01:31,124 --> 00:01:33,926
Narrator: Barney's bachelorpoker game was winding down.
31
00:01:33,928 --> 00:01:35,694
Tim gunn, out.
32
00:01:35,696 --> 00:01:38,964
Lily, busted.
33
00:01:38,966 --> 00:01:42,034
Marshpillow,fluffed and turned down.
34
00:01:42,036 --> 00:01:44,403
We were playing what we thought
was our final hand,
35
00:01:44,405 --> 00:01:46,572
And it was getting intense.
36
00:01:46,574 --> 00:01:48,774
Action to ranjit.
37
00:01:51,878 --> 00:01:53,445
Ranjit, action to you.
38
00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:55,547
What?!
39
00:01:55,549 --> 00:01:57,049
Hey, ted, thanks
again for your gift.
40
00:01:57,051 --> 00:02:00,119
He gave us a framed photo
of all of us at the bar, and
41
00:02:00,121 --> 00:02:02,754
He's getting us
two other wedding gifts.
42
00:02:02,756 --> 00:02:04,890
What can I say? I just love
giving wedding gifts.
43
00:02:04,892 --> 00:02:06,258
I love giving
wedding gifts so much,
44
00:02:06,260 --> 00:02:09,094
I wish I could marry
giving-wedding-gifts,
45
00:02:09,096 --> 00:02:11,830
And then get myself
and giving-wedding-gifts
46
00:02:11,832 --> 00:02:13,999
A wedding gift.
47
00:02:14,001 --> 00:02:16,568
Maybe saying things like that's
why I'm not married.
48
00:02:16,570 --> 00:02:17,936
(laughter)
49
00:02:17,938 --> 00:02:19,304
Narrator: Oh, you know what,I should explain
50
00:02:19,306 --> 00:02:20,772
Why lily was angry.
51
00:02:20,774 --> 00:02:23,108
Six years earlier, a few weeksafter their wedding,
52
00:02:23,110 --> 00:02:25,577
Marshall and lily were goingthrough their wedding gifts.
53
00:02:25,579 --> 00:02:27,146
Well, that's weird.
54
00:02:27,148 --> 00:02:29,081
Did ted get us anything?
55
00:02:29,083 --> 00:02:31,016
Come on, lily.
56
00:02:31,018 --> 00:02:32,751
Ted... Ted's our
best friend.
57
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If his gift hasn't arrived
yet, it's on the way.
Yeah.
58
00:02:35,856 --> 00:02:38,423
Narrator: But time passed,and no gift arrived.
59
00:02:38,425 --> 00:02:39,992
Finally, marshall starteddropping hints.
60
00:02:39,994 --> 00:02:41,326
Hey, man,
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00:02:41,328 --> 00:02:43,028
It was great having you
at our wedding.
62
00:02:43,030 --> 00:02:45,030
Thanks, bro,
and thanks for this coffee.
63
00:02:45,032 --> 00:02:46,431
It is great.
64
00:02:46,433 --> 00:02:49,101
You were not wedding absent.
65
00:02:49,103 --> 00:02:51,203
No, sir.
66
00:02:51,205 --> 00:02:53,972
You were wedding present.
67
00:02:53,974 --> 00:02:56,542
Do I detect a note
of hazelnut?
68
00:02:56,544 --> 00:02:58,210
(laughs)
69
00:02:58,212 --> 00:03:00,412
Wedding present.
70
00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:04,917
I think he got it.
71
00:03:06,119 --> 00:03:07,953
Narrator:
But I didn't get it.
72
00:03:07,955 --> 00:03:09,354
More months passed.
73
00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:10,989
His hints got more desperate.
74
00:03:10,991 --> 00:03:12,558
Happy Halloween!
75
00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:14,526
Yeah. What-what are
you supposed to be?
76
00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:16,528
Well, I'm a wedding present,
ted!
77
00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:19,064
How could you not get me
a wedding present?
78
00:03:19,066 --> 00:03:22,968
I mean, how could you not get
that I am a wedding present?
79
00:03:23,703 --> 00:03:26,071
Get me? A wedding present!
80
00:03:26,073 --> 00:03:29,541
Get me a wedding present.
81
00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:30,909
Why isn't he getting it?!
82
00:03:30,911 --> 00:03:32,144
I don't know.
83
00:03:32,146 --> 00:03:33,512
Why didn't you
get the message
84
00:03:33,514 --> 00:03:35,981
To dress up like a pregnant
teenager, home skillet?
85
00:03:35,983 --> 00:03:39,151
Narrator: But he kept on waitinguntil the summer of 2008
86
00:03:39,153 --> 00:03:40,319
When I got engaged.
87
00:03:40,321 --> 00:03:42,154
So ted's getting married, huh?
88
00:03:42,156 --> 00:03:44,590
Bet he'd love a gift
from his old pal marshall.
89
00:03:44,592 --> 00:03:45,924
Well, he can forget it!
90
00:03:45,926 --> 00:03:47,859
We're getting them a gift.
91
00:03:47,861 --> 00:03:49,094
But lily, this is the dream.
92
00:03:49,096 --> 00:03:51,363
This is the whole reason
we wanted ted to get married.
93
00:03:51,365 --> 00:03:53,098
So we could not
give him a wedding gift,
94
00:03:53,100 --> 00:03:54,866
And he would know
exactly how it feels!
95
00:03:54,868 --> 00:03:58,003
Baby, I'm as pissed as you are,
but we're getting them a gift.
96
00:03:58,005 --> 00:03:59,071
We have to.
97
00:04:01,174 --> 00:04:03,208
Fine.
98
00:04:03,210 --> 00:04:06,044
We'll get them a gift.
99
00:04:06,046 --> 00:04:09,214
A gift that'll send
a message loud and clear.
100
00:04:09,216 --> 00:04:12,017
A gift-wrapping
station! (laughs)
101
00:04:12,019 --> 00:04:14,853
Oh, boy. This time,
102
00:04:14,855 --> 00:04:17,122
He hato get it.
103
00:04:17,124 --> 00:04:19,391
Narrator: And not long afterthat, a package arrived.
104
00:04:19,393 --> 00:04:21,627
Oh, well, well, well.
105
00:04:21,629 --> 00:04:24,429
Package from one
mr. Ted mosby.
106
00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:26,398
It's a little late, but...
107
00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:28,634
What the balls is this?!
108
00:04:28,636 --> 00:04:30,736
It-it's a thank you note
109
00:04:30,738 --> 00:04:34,072
For the gift-wrapping station.
110
00:04:34,074 --> 00:04:36,275
Narrator:
Which explains the face.
111
00:04:36,277 --> 00:04:37,943
Wedding gift.
112
00:04:37,945 --> 00:04:39,211
James:
Hey, barney.
113
00:04:39,213 --> 00:04:40,912
I've got a wedding gift
for you, too.
114
00:04:40,914 --> 00:04:41,980
Don't get married. (laughs)
115
00:04:41,982 --> 00:04:43,282
Ah.
116
00:04:43,284 --> 00:04:45,584
In fact, it comes
in his and hers.
117
00:04:45,586 --> 00:04:46,985
(in deep voice):
Don't get married!
118
00:04:46,987 --> 00:04:48,153
(in high-pitched voice):
Don't get married!
119
00:04:48,155 --> 00:04:49,588
(laughing)
barney:
Ah.
120
00:04:49,590 --> 00:04:52,591
I'm not cheating!
Don't tell anyone!
121
00:04:52,593 --> 00:04:53,959
I'll cut you in on half!
122
00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:55,727
Hey, barney,
123
00:04:55,729 --> 00:04:59,231
Can you ask james to stop
crapping all over marriage?
124
00:04:59,233 --> 00:05:01,166
He's not crapping on marriage.
125
00:05:01,168 --> 00:05:03,235
He literally drew this
on the toilet.
126
00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:07,472
Come on, robin. Please
don't ask me to pick sides.
127
00:05:07,474 --> 00:05:10,108
In two days,
he's gonna be your brother, too.
128
00:05:10,110 --> 00:05:12,277
Just be honest and tell him
what's bothering you.
129
00:05:12,279 --> 00:05:14,680
Okay.
130
00:05:14,682 --> 00:05:15,947
(imitating car revving)
131
00:05:15,949 --> 00:05:17,082
Marshall, are you...?
132
00:05:17,084 --> 00:05:18,417
Hey, andretti!
133
00:05:18,419 --> 00:05:20,352
Beat it!
134
00:05:20,354 --> 00:05:23,855
Marshall, are you sitting down?
135
00:05:23,857 --> 00:05:25,123
Well, I'm in a car,
136
00:05:25,125 --> 00:05:26,525
And you were pretty clear about
137
00:05:26,527 --> 00:05:27,959
The no-teen-wolfing
now-that-I'm-a-dad rule,
138
00:05:27,961 --> 00:05:30,128
So, yeah, I'm sitting down.
139
00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:33,732
Ted is getting barney and robin
three wedding gifts!
140
00:05:35,101 --> 00:05:37,102
I hate him.
141
00:05:37,104 --> 00:05:38,103
Lily,
142
00:05:38,105 --> 00:05:39,504
Requesting permission
to make a stink?
143
00:05:39,506 --> 00:05:41,473
Stink away!
144
00:05:41,475 --> 00:05:44,943
Hurry up and get it over with.
(window whirring down)
145
00:05:46,813 --> 00:05:48,146
(phone buzzes)
oh, that's marshall.
146
00:05:48,148 --> 00:05:49,481
I should take this.
147
00:05:49,483 --> 00:05:50,682
Well,
148
00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:53,752
Call me akira yoshizawa.
149
00:05:55,388 --> 00:05:57,189
World's most famous origamist?
150
00:05:58,958 --> 00:06:01,159
I fold.
151
00:06:01,161 --> 00:06:02,327
(overlapping chatter)
152
00:06:02,329 --> 00:06:05,530
Barney, here's a good one.
153
00:06:05,532 --> 00:06:06,531
What's the difference
154
00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:07,733
Between a journey song
155
00:06:07,735 --> 00:06:09,101
And a husband?
156
00:06:09,969 --> 00:06:12,237
A journey song has a climax.
(laughs)
157
00:06:12,239 --> 00:06:13,472
(laughs)
158
00:06:13,474 --> 00:06:14,873
I'm sorry, robin.
159
00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:16,875
I'm just messing with you.
160
00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:17,909
Raise a hundred.
161
00:06:17,911 --> 00:06:19,911
No, it's fine.
162
00:06:19,913 --> 00:06:23,081
It's just funny hearing all
this anti-marriage stuff
163
00:06:23,083 --> 00:06:25,350
From a divorced guy who
still wears his wedding ring.
164
00:06:25,352 --> 00:06:27,152
What, this?
Mm.
165
00:06:27,154 --> 00:06:28,587
Only wear it because,
166
00:06:28,589 --> 00:06:31,256
Nothing attracts a gay guy
faster than a wedding ring.
167
00:06:31,258 --> 00:06:33,091
Except saying hi to him.
168
00:06:33,093 --> 00:06:36,561
Or being in the same room,
or every app on my phone.
169
00:06:36,563 --> 00:06:39,498
People, it is a good time
to be gay.
170
00:06:39,500 --> 00:06:42,167
So you can just... You can take
that ring off anytime you want?
171
00:06:42,169 --> 00:06:43,568
Anytime.
172
00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:47,839
I'm all in.
173
00:06:47,841 --> 00:06:49,841
And raise you...
174
00:06:49,843 --> 00:06:51,943
One ring.
175
00:06:51,945 --> 00:06:54,112
All:
Ooh!
176
00:06:56,549 --> 00:06:58,750
Fine.
177
00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:01,019
It's just a ring.
178
00:07:01,021 --> 00:07:04,022
Okay, let's see
what you got.
179
00:07:04,024 --> 00:07:07,058
Robin has three jacks, james
180
00:07:07,060 --> 00:07:07,926
Has...
181
00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:11,062
Just shy of a pair
of a sixes.
182
00:07:11,064 --> 00:07:13,064
Thank you.
183
00:07:13,066 --> 00:07:13,932
Yeah.
184
00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:15,567
I'm gonna hit the gym.
185
00:07:15,569 --> 00:07:17,102
Let me know if you want
to get some dinner later.
186
00:07:17,104 --> 00:07:20,071
Oh, we'll give you a ring,
just not this one. Ho!
187
00:07:20,073 --> 00:07:22,207
(laughs)
188
00:07:23,776 --> 00:07:25,043
Marshall:
You, ted mosby,
189
00:07:25,045 --> 00:07:27,212
Never got me
and lily a wedding gift!
190
00:07:27,214 --> 00:07:28,613
J'accuse!
191
00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:30,415
I did, too, get you a gift!
192
00:07:30,417 --> 00:07:32,083
It was a coffeemaker,
193
00:07:32,085 --> 00:07:34,553
And you never sent me
a thank you note!
194
00:07:34,555 --> 00:07:36,555
Oh.
195
00:07:36,557 --> 00:07:39,124
So-so... Me-cuse?
196
00:07:39,126 --> 00:07:41,560
You-cuse!
197
00:07:41,562 --> 00:07:44,129
Robin, when I said, "be honest
and say what's bothering you,"
198
00:07:44,131 --> 00:07:46,231
I meant, stuff it down
and never do anything about it.
199
00:07:46,233 --> 00:07:47,432
How did you not get that?
200
00:07:47,434 --> 00:07:49,835
It's fine.
He's a grown-up.
201
00:07:49,837 --> 00:07:51,136
(door opens)
202
00:07:51,138 --> 00:07:54,639
What did you do
to my little boy?
203
00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:55,907
(thunder crackling)
204
00:07:55,909 --> 00:07:57,642
Hi, mom.
205
00:08:03,616 --> 00:08:05,750
You get your
brother's ring back!
Mom, please don't make me
206
00:08:05,752 --> 00:08:07,152
Take sides!
That's your brother out there.
207
00:08:07,154 --> 00:08:08,987
You two shared bunk
beds and baseball mitts,
208
00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:12,123
And, when you were hungry,
these supple breasts.
209
00:08:12,125 --> 00:08:13,992
Arguably a little too long.
210
00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:15,694
Stinsons stand up
for each other.
211
00:08:15,696 --> 00:08:17,028
Take care of this!
212
00:08:17,030 --> 00:08:18,930
I...
I'm gonna play
some cards.
213
00:08:18,932 --> 00:08:21,633
All right, chumps.
214
00:08:21,635 --> 00:08:24,135
I'm gonna tell you what I
told frampton's guitar tech
215
00:08:24,137 --> 00:08:27,239
When he couldn't find
a condom: Let's gamble.
216
00:08:29,141 --> 00:08:31,142
You gave us a coffeemaker?
217
00:08:31,144 --> 00:08:33,144
Not just ah coffeemaker.
218
00:08:33,146 --> 00:08:35,847
I asked what they used
at your favorite coffeehouse
219
00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:38,717
And got you that exact...
One tier down model.
220
00:08:38,719 --> 00:08:42,120
And you know
what you got me? Huh?
221
00:08:42,122 --> 00:08:44,155
Narrator:
No thank you note.
222
00:08:44,157 --> 00:08:45,991
So I started dropping hintsabout it.
223
00:08:45,993 --> 00:08:48,026
Do I detect a note of hazelnut?
224
00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:49,327
Wedding present.
225
00:08:49,329 --> 00:08:51,296
Kind of want to say thank you
226
00:08:51,298 --> 00:08:53,899
To that note of hazelnut.
227
00:08:53,901 --> 00:08:55,901
Thank you... Note.
228
00:08:55,903 --> 00:08:57,202
(laughs)
229
00:08:57,204 --> 00:08:59,638
Wedding... Present.
230
00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:02,807
Anyway...
231
00:09:02,809 --> 00:09:04,743
Thank you note.
232
00:09:06,712 --> 00:09:09,381
Yeah, he got it.
233
00:09:09,383 --> 00:09:11,383
But you never got it!
234
00:09:11,385 --> 00:09:13,184
I drank so much coffee
that year,
235
00:09:13,186 --> 00:09:14,719
Hoping you'd take the hint,
236
00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:17,389
My resting pulse was like
the drum solo from "wipeout."
237
00:09:17,391 --> 00:09:19,991
And then, uh,
Halloween rolled around.
238
00:09:19,993 --> 00:09:21,192
Get me a wedding present.
239
00:09:21,194 --> 00:09:23,428
On that note...
240
00:09:23,430 --> 00:09:25,096
I think you'll like my costume.
241
00:09:25,098 --> 00:09:26,231
Mm.
242
00:09:26,233 --> 00:09:29,734
I'm a thank you note.
243
00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:31,202
Thank you note.
Ah.
244
00:09:31,204 --> 00:09:34,072
Guess you could say
that we sort of go together.
245
00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:36,007
That's right, marshall.
That's right.
246
00:09:36,009 --> 00:09:38,109
When someone gets you a gift,
247
00:09:38,111 --> 00:09:40,779
You give them
a thank you note.
248
00:09:40,781 --> 00:09:41,913
That is how it works.
249
00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:44,115
Give a gift, get a note.
250
00:09:44,117 --> 00:09:45,383
Agreed.
Exactly.
251
00:09:45,385 --> 00:09:46,518
Exactly.
252
00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:49,321
Exactly.
Exactly.
253
00:09:52,124 --> 00:09:54,225
I think he got it.
254
00:09:54,227 --> 00:09:56,795
Yeah. Yeah, he got it.
255
00:09:56,797 --> 00:09:58,863
I have to find a bathroom.
256
00:10:00,199 --> 00:10:01,433
I didn't get it!
257
00:10:01,435 --> 00:10:02,968
And I thought for sure
you'd get it
258
00:10:02,970 --> 00:10:05,870
When I sent that thank you note
for the wrapping station.
259
00:10:05,872 --> 00:10:09,608
"dear marshall and lily,
260
00:10:09,610 --> 00:10:12,210
"this is a thank you noteto thank you
261
00:10:12,212 --> 00:10:14,946
"for the gift-wrapping station.
262
00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:17,882
"because even thoughthe wedding never happened,
263
00:10:17,884 --> 00:10:21,486
"there's one thing thatdidn't leave me at the altar,
264
00:10:21,488 --> 00:10:24,289
And that's my manners."
265
00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:25,790
I can't believe this.
266
00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:27,158
Eriksens send thank you notes.
267
00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:29,294
It's the one thing
that we always do!
268
00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:31,162
We even have
a family saying about it.
269
00:10:31,164 --> 00:10:33,164
"lick it, before you stick it!"
270
00:10:33,166 --> 00:10:36,067
"it" being the stamp
on the thank you note,
271
00:10:36,069 --> 00:10:37,969
Before you stick it
in the mailbox.
272
00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:39,838
I will make this right!
273
00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:41,172
I know, right?
274
00:10:41,174 --> 00:10:43,108
Hey, listen, we're about
to go through a tunnel.
275
00:10:43,110 --> 00:10:44,409
Guys, big dilemma.
276
00:10:44,411 --> 00:10:46,845
My mom's insisting
that I get robin
277
00:10:46,847 --> 00:10:50,181
To give james his ring back,
but robin's refusing.
278
00:10:50,183 --> 00:10:52,984
But james seems like
he's really upset.
279
00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:55,120
But robin's
gonna be my wife.
280
00:10:55,122 --> 00:10:56,988
But james
is my brother.
281
00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:59,090
But robin lets me do sex to her.
282
00:10:59,092 --> 00:11:00,792
But I have
283
00:11:00,794 --> 00:11:03,461
To spend eternity
in my mom's mausoleum.
284
00:11:03,463 --> 00:11:06,665
I just wish there was a way
I didn't have to take sides!
285
00:11:06,667 --> 00:11:08,667
What should I do?!
286
00:11:08,669 --> 00:11:10,468
(exhales)
287
00:11:10,470 --> 00:11:11,803
Choose your wife.
288
00:11:11,805 --> 00:11:13,972
You always choose
your wife. Easy.
289
00:11:13,974 --> 00:11:16,675
Got any other stumpers,
like how to answer
290
00:11:16,677 --> 00:11:17,976
"does this make me look fat?"
291
00:11:17,978 --> 00:11:20,612
Well, maybe a little around
the hips but no more than usual.
292
00:11:20,614 --> 00:11:22,113
You're getting married,
293
00:11:22,115 --> 00:11:24,883
So I will deal with that
one after your honeymoon.
294
00:11:24,885 --> 00:11:25,884
Narrator:
And she did.
295
00:11:25,886 --> 00:11:28,887
Belize was amazi...
296
00:11:28,889 --> 00:11:31,723
(groaning)
297
00:11:31,725 --> 00:11:34,959
In marriage, being right is less
important than being supportive.
298
00:11:34,961 --> 00:11:38,396
Remember: Happy wife
equals happy life.
299
00:11:38,398 --> 00:11:40,799
Wow, thanks.
That's some great advice, lil.
300
00:11:40,801 --> 00:11:42,400
I knew I could count on you.
301
00:11:45,171 --> 00:11:47,572
He's gotten very respectful
with his fake listening.
302
00:11:47,574 --> 00:11:49,074
Anyway, lily,
303
00:11:49,076 --> 00:11:50,375
I told marshall this
already, but...
304
00:11:50,377 --> 00:11:52,177
Don't worry about not sending
a thank you note
305
00:11:52,179 --> 00:11:54,879
For the coffeemaker. It's cool.
306
00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:58,083
Uh, we did send a thank you note
for the coffeemaker.
307
00:11:58,085 --> 00:12:00,585
Uh... No, you didn't.
308
00:12:00,587 --> 00:12:03,688
Uh... Yes, we did.
309
00:12:03,690 --> 00:12:05,590
To stuart and claudia,
310
00:12:05,592 --> 00:12:08,393
The people who gave us
the coffeemaker.
311
00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:11,930
Uh...
312
00:12:11,932 --> 00:12:13,565
What?
313
00:12:13,567 --> 00:12:15,033
Hey, you two!
314
00:12:15,035 --> 00:12:16,167
Hey.
Hey.
315
00:12:16,169 --> 00:12:17,936
Hey, thanks again
for that coffeemaker.
316
00:12:17,938 --> 00:12:19,771
We use it all the time.
317
00:12:19,773 --> 00:12:22,040
Especially when ted's over.
318
00:12:22,042 --> 00:12:23,241
Yeah, it's
a great machine.
319
00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:25,677
We have one at home
and we love it.
320
00:12:25,679 --> 00:12:28,279
Did I forget
to get you a wedding gift?
321
00:12:29,048 --> 00:12:30,381
What kind of monster am I?
322
00:12:30,383 --> 00:12:32,050
Mosbys always give
wedding gifts.
323
00:12:32,052 --> 00:12:34,886
We even have an expression:
"wrap it before you tap it."
324
00:12:34,888 --> 00:12:35,954
You know,
325
00:12:35,956 --> 00:12:37,122
Wrap the gift
326
00:12:37,124 --> 00:12:38,757
Before you tap the person
on the shoulder
327
00:12:38,759 --> 00:12:40,125
And say, "here's your gift."
328
00:12:40,127 --> 00:12:42,994
I will make this right.
329
00:12:43,963 --> 00:12:45,597
Robin? Two things:
330
00:12:45,599 --> 00:12:47,031
Number one, are you
dropping heat right now?
331
00:12:47,033 --> 00:12:48,767
No.
Great.
332
00:12:48,769 --> 00:12:50,568
Number two.
(chuckles)
333
00:12:50,570 --> 00:12:52,971
Nice.
Thanks. Anyway,
334
00:12:52,973 --> 00:12:54,405
I came up with an amazing plan
335
00:12:54,407 --> 00:12:56,040
That I think
will make everyone happy.
336
00:12:56,042 --> 00:12:59,444
Step one: You let my mom win the
ring back in a hand of poker.
337
00:12:59,446 --> 00:13:01,379
Step two...
338
00:13:01,381 --> 00:13:02,647
No, that's all the steps.
339
00:13:02,649 --> 00:13:03,815
What do you think?
340
00:13:03,817 --> 00:13:06,718
So your plan is
you do absolutely nothing
341
00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:08,219
To get your fiancée's back.
342
00:13:08,221 --> 00:13:09,420
Okay.
343
00:13:09,422 --> 00:13:11,756
Let me propose
a different plan.
344
00:13:11,758 --> 00:13:12,991
Step one...
345
00:13:12,993 --> 00:13:15,827
Good game, everybody!
(giggles)
346
00:13:15,829 --> 00:13:17,896
And that's all the steps.
347
00:13:21,834 --> 00:13:24,502
That's a really
pretty bra, mom.
348
00:13:29,141 --> 00:13:31,009
Well, I'd better leave now
before I lose
349
00:13:31,011 --> 00:13:32,443
Any more of my dignity,
350
00:13:32,445 --> 00:13:34,012
The likelihood
of which
351
00:13:34,014 --> 00:13:37,649
Is increasing every moment
in this very chilly room.
352
00:13:37,651 --> 00:13:39,083
Oh...
353
00:13:40,085 --> 00:13:42,453
(door shuts)
not good, robin.
354
00:13:42,455 --> 00:13:44,022
Very not good.
355
00:13:44,024 --> 00:13:45,857
How do you
keep winning, anyway?
356
00:13:45,859 --> 00:13:47,425
Well, to the keen observer,
357
00:13:47,427 --> 00:13:51,196
All of you stinsons have
the same very subtle tell.
358
00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:52,831
Whenever you're bluffing,
359
00:13:52,833 --> 00:13:54,532
You say the word "bluff."
360
00:13:54,534 --> 00:13:56,201
Hey, I'm hungry. Uh...
361
00:13:56,203 --> 00:13:58,002
Should we get
some bluffalo wings?
362
00:13:58,004 --> 00:14:00,839
Raise you $20.
363
00:14:00,841 --> 00:14:04,309
When I walked in, I saw
an all-you-can-eat bluffet.
364
00:14:04,311 --> 00:14:06,544
Raise $50.
365
00:14:06,546 --> 00:14:09,814
Mmm... I could use
a bluffberry muffin.
366
00:14:09,816 --> 00:14:11,816
A blueberry bluffin. Sorry.
367
00:14:11,818 --> 00:14:14,853
A bluebluffy muffbluff. All in.
368
00:14:14,855 --> 00:14:16,154
I don't believe it.
369
00:14:16,156 --> 00:14:17,956
Robin, you've got
to give her that blouse back.
370
00:14:17,958 --> 00:14:19,524
She loves that blouse.
371
00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:24,362
She got those sequins from
rick james...'s open casket.
372
00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:25,730
Nope. Not happening.
373
00:14:25,732 --> 00:14:29,634
Woman, as your bridegroom,
I command you!
374
00:14:29,636 --> 00:14:31,035
We'll leave and
375
00:14:31,037 --> 00:14:33,905
Give you guys
some privacy.
376
00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:36,741
(door shuts)
you, uh,
377
00:14:36,743 --> 00:14:38,743
Want to take back
that "I command you" thing?
378
00:14:38,745 --> 00:14:40,144
Please can I?
379
00:14:40,146 --> 00:14:41,913
Why is this so important to you?
380
00:14:41,915 --> 00:14:44,148
Because it's my family.
381
00:14:44,150 --> 00:14:47,919
And, so help me, you and I
will never have sex again
382
00:14:47,921 --> 00:14:49,854
If you don't give back
their bluff.
383
00:14:49,856 --> 00:14:51,556
Stuff! Damn it.
384
00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:53,524
Look, I just...
I want to feel like
385
00:14:53,526 --> 00:14:56,160
You're on my side
once in a while. That's all.
386
00:14:56,162 --> 00:14:57,095
Look, I'm gonna
be your wife,
387
00:14:57,097 --> 00:14:58,529
For god's sakes.
388
00:14:58,531 --> 00:14:59,864
But, look,
389
00:14:59,866 --> 00:15:02,734
If it's... If it's
that important to you, here.
390
00:15:02,736 --> 00:15:05,036
Do what you want.
391
00:15:05,038 --> 00:15:06,671
Thank you.
392
00:15:06,673 --> 00:15:10,275
And please don't play
strip poker with my mom again.
393
00:15:10,277 --> 00:15:13,344
It's all kinds of confusing.
394
00:15:17,383 --> 00:15:19,384
(door shuts)
(sighs)
395
00:15:19,386 --> 00:15:21,252
(phone ringing)
396
00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:25,523
Oh, that's where
my phone is.
397
00:15:25,525 --> 00:15:27,926
I wasn't eavesdropping.
Hey, baby.
398
00:15:27,928 --> 00:15:29,694
Lily, we were wrong
the whole time.
399
00:15:29,696 --> 00:15:31,195
Ted got us the coffeemaker!
400
00:15:31,197 --> 00:15:32,797
He's a wonderful man!
401
00:15:32,799 --> 00:15:36,801
What? No. Claudia and stuart
gave us our coffeemaker.
402
00:15:36,803 --> 00:15:39,537
Ted's a rat bastard!
Never mention his name again!
403
00:15:39,539 --> 00:15:40,605
Your coffeemaker?
404
00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:41,606
Ted got you that.
405
00:15:41,608 --> 00:15:42,607
I was with him
when he bought it.
406
00:15:42,609 --> 00:15:44,075
I don't know what to feel!
407
00:15:44,077 --> 00:15:46,077
But stuart said
he got it for us.
408
00:15:46,079 --> 00:15:47,812
Stuart and claudia
checked in.
409
00:15:47,814 --> 00:15:49,047
I saw them in the lobby.
410
00:15:50,916 --> 00:15:52,183
Let's go get
to the bottom of this.
411
00:15:56,155 --> 00:15:57,155
Stuart,
412
00:15:57,157 --> 00:15:58,957
No b.S., did you really get us
413
00:15:58,959 --> 00:16:00,992
That coffeemaker
for our wedding?
414
00:16:00,994 --> 00:16:02,460
Of course.
415
00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:05,096
What a crazy
thing to ask.
416
00:16:05,098 --> 00:16:06,464
They never give you enough
of these things.
417
00:16:06,466 --> 00:16:08,499
Oh, my god.
418
00:16:08,501 --> 00:16:10,601
Ted got us
that coffeemaker,
419
00:16:10,603 --> 00:16:12,804
And you just played it off
as your gift.
420
00:16:12,806 --> 00:16:16,007
You're a weasel. Admit it.
421
00:16:16,009 --> 00:16:17,141
No, that's insane.
422
00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:18,076
Really?
423
00:16:18,510 --> 00:16:19,510
Housekeeping!
424
00:16:19,512 --> 00:16:20,745
Conditioner thief!
425
00:16:20,747 --> 00:16:22,580
Okay, shh, shh.
Yes, I am a weasel.
426
00:16:22,582 --> 00:16:25,817
I ripped the card off ted's gift
and I wrote my name on it.
427
00:16:25,819 --> 00:16:27,618
Does claudia know about this?
428
00:16:27,620 --> 00:16:30,188
No. Please don't tell her.
429
00:16:30,190 --> 00:16:33,091
That gift was a turning point
for us.
430
00:16:33,093 --> 00:16:34,926
Ah.
431
00:16:34,928 --> 00:16:36,861
I got to admit,
432
00:16:36,863 --> 00:16:40,665
I came pretty close
to leaving you.
433
00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:43,368
Bags packed, plane
ticket purchased,
434
00:16:43,370 --> 00:16:45,703
Topless pics sent to your
brother, the whole nine.
435
00:16:45,705 --> 00:16:49,874
But seeing that you got our
friends such a nice gift,
436
00:16:49,876 --> 00:16:53,111
Ah, it just really puts
you in a whole new light.
437
00:16:53,113 --> 00:16:55,179
Oh.
438
00:16:56,281 --> 00:16:59,751
I'm a pretty great guy.
Oh.
439
00:17:01,954 --> 00:17:05,356
(water running in background)
and since that day, on the
foundation of that coffeemaker,
440
00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:09,293
We've built a strong,
nurturing relationship.
441
00:17:09,295 --> 00:17:14,165
Well, out of respect for your
marriage, I won't say anything.
442
00:17:14,167 --> 00:17:16,734
Say hi to claudia
when she gets out of the shower.
443
00:17:16,736 --> 00:17:18,403
That's not claudia. Good night.
444
00:17:19,972 --> 00:17:21,973
Tap tap.
445
00:17:21,975 --> 00:17:23,808
Look what I wrapped!
446
00:17:24,543 --> 00:17:25,743
What?
447
00:17:25,745 --> 00:17:26,544
(door opens)
448
00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:27,745
(sighs)
449
00:17:27,747 --> 00:17:30,281
So, I went to give james
his ring back...
450
00:17:31,150 --> 00:17:33,751
Glad you came
to your senses.
451
00:17:33,753 --> 00:17:36,354
You can't let being married
keep you from being you.
452
00:17:36,356 --> 00:17:37,755
It's like tom,
453
00:17:37,757 --> 00:17:40,091
Always telling me I spend
too much time at the gym.
454
00:17:40,093 --> 00:17:40,091
Exactly. Is it so wrong
455
00:17:40,093 --> 00:17:42,894
If you want to work out
a couple times a week?
456
00:17:42,896 --> 00:17:44,695
Right. Or a couple times a day.
457
00:17:44,697 --> 00:17:46,030
Or a couple times...
458
00:17:46,032 --> 00:17:48,099
A couple times a day? Really?
459
00:17:48,101 --> 00:17:50,868
A few hours before work,
a few hours after.
460
00:17:50,870 --> 00:17:53,871
Only way to keep up
the chocolate xylophone.
461
00:17:53,873 --> 00:17:55,373
(singing notes)
462
00:17:55,375 --> 00:17:57,542
Still, that's a lot of time
at the gym.
463
00:17:57,544 --> 00:17:59,043
Especially with two kids.
464
00:17:59,045 --> 00:18:00,445
It's like
I always said to tom,
465
00:18:00,447 --> 00:18:02,447
"I've got to stay in shape
466
00:18:02,449 --> 00:18:03,948
In case I'm ever single again."
467
00:18:03,950 --> 00:18:06,451
And, hello, I was right.
468
00:18:06,453 --> 00:18:09,120
Oh, my god.
469
00:18:09,122 --> 00:18:11,889
I think I finally understand
what lily was mumbling
470
00:18:11,891 --> 00:18:13,925
In my peripheral vision earlier.
471
00:18:14,860 --> 00:18:16,060
I'm marrying robin
472
00:18:16,062 --> 00:18:17,562
So I can be part of a team,
473
00:18:17,564 --> 00:18:20,064
Not just some guy alone at a gym
474
00:18:20,066 --> 00:18:22,066
With admittedly amazing abs.
475
00:18:22,068 --> 00:18:23,034
Thanks, bro.
476
00:18:23,036 --> 00:18:26,037
No. Thank you, bro.
477
00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:30,141
You're not getting this ring.
478
00:18:30,143 --> 00:18:32,477
I'm always gonna have your back.
479
00:18:32,479 --> 00:18:34,045
No matter what.
480
00:18:34,047 --> 00:18:36,581
Thank you.
481
00:18:36,583 --> 00:18:38,049
I love you.
Mmm,
482
00:18:38,051 --> 00:18:39,717
I love you, too.
(chuckles)
483
00:18:39,719 --> 00:18:40,985
(moaning)
484
00:18:40,987 --> 00:18:42,920
Oh, oh! I almost didn't
tell you the best part!
485
00:18:42,922 --> 00:18:43,955
There's more!
486
00:18:43,957 --> 00:18:45,123
Really?
487
00:18:45,125 --> 00:18:47,758
James, let me spell this out
for you:
488
00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:49,927
Now that I've got robin,
489
00:18:49,929 --> 00:18:52,430
We are not brothers anymore.
490
00:18:52,432 --> 00:18:53,264
What?!
491
00:18:53,266 --> 00:18:54,999
Uh-huh.
492
00:18:55,001 --> 00:18:56,834
If you and
robin are both
493
00:18:56,836 --> 00:18:58,836
Ever hanging from a cliff
494
00:18:58,838 --> 00:19:00,671
And I have one hand free,
495
00:19:00,673 --> 00:19:02,006
Enjoy the fall.
496
00:19:02,008 --> 00:19:03,474
Uh, buh-bye.
497
00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:06,110
If you...
Oh, mom! Good!
498
00:19:06,112 --> 00:19:07,178
You should hear this, too.
499
00:19:07,180 --> 00:19:10,114
This mother-son thing--
it's over.
500
00:19:10,116 --> 00:19:11,449
It's been
a nice few decades,
501
00:19:11,451 --> 00:19:13,251
But I've got a wife now,
502
00:19:13,253 --> 00:19:15,019
So you mean nothing to me.
503
00:19:15,021 --> 00:19:16,954
Oh, and me coming over
504
00:19:16,956 --> 00:19:18,122
For thanksgiving and christmas,
505
00:19:18,124 --> 00:19:19,123
That's done!
506
00:19:19,125 --> 00:19:20,591
No more of that!
507
00:19:20,593 --> 00:19:21,792
And you know why?
508
00:19:21,794 --> 00:19:23,694
Because robin said so!
509
00:19:23,696 --> 00:19:26,497
This came directly from her!
510
00:19:27,499 --> 00:19:31,302
See ya, losers!
511
00:19:31,304 --> 00:19:32,503
Oh, my god.
512
00:19:32,505 --> 00:19:33,504
Yeah.
513
00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:35,773
Fiancé of the year?
514
00:19:35,775 --> 00:19:38,709
(chuckles)
I think I know what's next.
Oh, god.
515
00:19:38,711 --> 00:19:40,978
Oh, god. I can't leave this room
for the rest of the weekend.
516
00:19:40,980 --> 00:19:45,716
I'm sure we can find
something to do, eh?
517
00:19:45,718 --> 00:19:47,318
Marshall:
Ted, I'm so sorry!
518
00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:49,320
No, I'm sorry.
519
00:19:49,322 --> 00:19:51,222
I shouldn't have spent the last
six years passive-aggressively
520
00:19:51,224 --> 00:19:53,324
Drinking gallons
of coffee around you.
521
00:19:53,326 --> 00:19:55,026
And I shouldn't have taken
that sewing class
522
00:19:55,028 --> 00:19:57,195
To learn how to make
that wedding present costume.
523
00:19:57,197 --> 00:19:59,397
I regret all of it.
Me, too!
524
00:19:59,399 --> 00:20:01,799
Except I actually don't regret
that sewing class.
525
00:20:01,801 --> 00:20:04,068
I learned a fun and useful
lifetime skill.
526
00:20:04,070 --> 00:20:06,904
But, seriously,
even without the coffeemaker,
527
00:20:06,906 --> 00:20:08,973
You've given us more
than enough.
528
00:20:08,975 --> 00:20:12,076
Well, there is one more gift
on the way.
529
00:20:12,078 --> 00:20:14,579
Whatever it is, send it back.
530
00:20:14,581 --> 00:20:16,480
(horn honks)
it's a little late for that.
531
00:20:17,816 --> 00:20:19,350
Marshall eriksen?!
532
00:20:19,352 --> 00:20:20,818
Yes?!
533
00:20:20,820 --> 00:20:23,087
I got your pizza!
534
00:20:23,089 --> 00:20:24,855
Oh, ted!
535
00:20:24,857 --> 00:20:27,024
You are the best friend ever!
536
00:20:27,026 --> 00:20:28,593
Don't say another word,
marshall.
537
00:20:28,595 --> 00:20:31,162
Save it for the thank you note.
538
00:20:31,164 --> 00:20:32,196
You got it, buddy!
539
00:20:32,198 --> 00:20:33,331
Narrator:
And, kids,
540
00:20:33,333 --> 00:20:34,398
I got that thank you note
541
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:37,335
Four months later.
542
00:20:37,337 --> 00:20:39,403
Four months.
543
00:20:45,010 --> 00:20:46,110
Uh, here's
your blouse back.
544
00:20:46,112 --> 00:20:47,912
Is there any way
we could just, um...
545
00:20:47,914 --> 00:20:49,380
Forget about all this?
546
00:20:49,382 --> 00:20:52,116
Oh, no, dear,
you keep the blouse.
547
00:20:52,118 --> 00:20:54,952
Think of it
as your consolation prize.
548
00:20:54,954 --> 00:20:56,420
Consolation prize?
549
00:20:57,389 --> 00:20:59,724
You won the battle.
550
00:20:59,726 --> 00:21:01,859
But I'll win the war.
551
00:21:04,196 --> 00:21:06,030
Game on, bitch.
552
00:21:06,032 --> 00:21:07,698
Captioned by
media access group at wgbh
access.Wgbh.Org
38349
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