Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162
WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
1
00:00:03,533 --> 00:00:06,385
NARRATOR: Kids, it was two days
before Barney and Robin's wedding,
2
00:00:06,417 --> 00:00:08,634
and everything was going
off without a hitch.
3
00:00:08,649 --> 00:00:09,542
TED:
Ah.
4
00:00:09,573 --> 00:00:12,826
Been waiting for the perfect time for
this, and, my friend, that time is...
5
00:00:12,840 --> 00:00:15,428
I saw you and Robin
at the carousel.
6
00:00:15,579 --> 00:00:16,370
(bottle shatters)
7
00:00:16,395 --> 00:00:18,139
Okay, there was
one slight hitch.
8
00:00:19,093 --> 00:00:22,387
BARNEY: She called me to
help her, and there you were
9
00:00:22,413 --> 00:00:25,816
in the rain holding
hands with my fiancée.
10
00:00:29,488 --> 00:00:31,969
- What up?
- Nothing up.
11
00:00:32,254 --> 00:00:35,375
Everything down. All
parts of me down.
12
00:00:35,609 --> 00:00:38,582
Look, you were busy, so I-I...
13
00:00:38,605 --> 00:00:41,474
I went to the park to help her look
for this locket she buried years ago.
14
00:00:41,492 --> 00:00:44,966
She couldn't find it, she got upset,
I held her hand. End of story.
15
00:00:48,103 --> 00:00:51,487
Cool! I just wanted to air that out.
You know, bro to bro.
16
00:00:51,618 --> 00:00:53,381
You're my best friend
and my best man.
17
00:00:53,406 --> 00:00:54,775
Of course I trust you.
18
00:00:55,328 --> 00:00:57,776
Oh, come on. You don't
have to cry about it.
19
00:00:57,795 --> 00:00:58,906
(sobs)
20
00:00:59,043 --> 00:01:00,603
It's not that.
21
00:01:01,346 --> 00:01:03,984
That was a $600
bottle of scotch.
22
00:01:04,034 --> 00:01:06,167
(crying):
Oh, my God.
23
00:01:06,926 --> 00:01:09,010
(both blubbering)
24
00:01:09,930 --> 00:01:12,787
I hope Marshall gets here
for the rehearsal dinner.
25
00:01:12,808 --> 00:01:14,252
Thank you, Linus.
26
00:01:14,456 --> 00:01:17,297
He's somewhere in Wisconsin
in a rental car.
27
00:01:17,321 --> 00:01:21,198
- Hertz? - I mean, it hurts a little but
I'm not gonna cry about it. Hey!
28
00:01:21,216 --> 00:01:23,246
We've been doing that
all afternoon.
29
00:01:23,891 --> 00:01:25,254
ROBIN:
Oh, who's that for?
30
00:01:25,291 --> 00:01:26,524
Marshpillow.
31
00:01:26,654 --> 00:01:30,268
NARRATOR: Kids, as you may recall, whenever
Marshall left town for a few days,
32
00:01:30,291 --> 00:01:34,962
Lily would compensate with a body pillow
she dressed up and named Marshpillow.
33
00:01:35,073 --> 00:01:36,504
Pretty normal stuff.
34
00:01:36,587 --> 00:01:38,842
But with Marshall stuck
driving across the country,
35
00:01:38,868 --> 00:01:40,603
Lily decided to upgrade.
36
00:01:40,628 --> 00:01:43,866
Meet Marshpillow 2.0!
37
00:01:44,403 --> 00:01:45,711
Hey!
38
00:01:45,768 --> 00:01:47,143
Am I on?
39
00:01:47,999 --> 00:01:49,354
Hey, guys!
40
00:01:49,384 --> 00:01:50,561
- Hey, Marsh.
- Hey, Marshall. - Hey.
41
00:01:50,587 --> 00:01:51,892
It's like you're really here.
42
00:01:52,080 --> 00:01:56,001
MARSHALL: Hey, Ted. Can you give
me a gander of the environs?
43
00:01:57,606 --> 00:01:59,094
Wow!
44
00:01:59,288 --> 00:02:02,363
This place looks beautif...
45
00:02:04,598 --> 00:02:06,162
Wait for it.
46
00:02:06,882 --> 00:02:08,201
- He's frozen.
- (Lily groans)
47
00:02:08,228 --> 00:02:11,725
Same thing happened last night
at the worst possible time.
48
00:02:11,778 --> 00:02:15,427
I had just gotten on all fours
and taken off my panti...
49
00:02:20,217 --> 00:02:22,115
Now Lily's frozen.
50
00:02:22,949 --> 00:02:26,949
♪ How I Met Your Mother 9x04 ♪
The Broken Code
Original Air Date on October 7, 2013
51
00:02:26,981 --> 00:02:31,981
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
52
00:02:37,917 --> 00:02:39,211
...ful.
53
00:02:39,387 --> 00:02:41,675
This place is beautiful!
54
00:02:41,838 --> 00:02:45,888
Wow. Lily, it looks like you really
put some time into this, huh?
55
00:02:45,928 --> 00:02:46,618
(chuckles)
56
00:02:46,637 --> 00:02:52,779
Though I wonder if instead of dressing up
your giant husband doll like Malibu Ken,
57
00:02:52,794 --> 00:02:55,606
you could've spent a minute
or two-- I don't know--
58
00:02:55,896 --> 00:02:58,879
planning the weak ass
bachelorette party you threw me?
59
00:03:03,590 --> 00:03:08,043
I-It's possible I forgot
to send out the Evite.
60
00:03:09,838 --> 00:03:10,716
Robin!
61
00:03:10,735 --> 00:03:12,846
Happy bachelorette party!
(chuckles)
62
00:03:12,870 --> 00:03:16,238
You invited Patrice to
my bachelorette party?!
63
00:03:16,416 --> 00:03:17,745
No.
64
00:03:17,811 --> 00:03:19,149
You know, it's funny.
65
00:03:19,179 --> 00:03:21,896
When I was planning
Barney's bachelor party,
66
00:03:22,042 --> 00:03:25,935
I managed to wrangle his
boyhood hero, Billy Zabka,
67
00:03:25,954 --> 00:03:27,502
from The Karate Kid.
68
00:03:27,733 --> 00:03:29,809
But you scored Patrice.
69
00:03:29,865 --> 00:03:31,220
I'm sorry, Robin.
70
00:03:31,240 --> 00:03:35,358
I-I've just been so consumed
with our move to Rome.
71
00:03:35,386 --> 00:03:38,061
I guess I forgot to
invite the girls.
72
00:03:38,107 --> 00:03:40,015
Yeah, Lily, I'd like to
show you how it's done.
73
00:03:40,030 --> 00:03:42,658
Billy Zabka, what a great guy.
74
00:03:43,304 --> 00:03:46,292
Look at how thorough Ted was
planning the best man poker game
75
00:03:46,318 --> 00:03:47,613
he's throwing for Barney.
76
00:03:47,625 --> 00:03:50,412
Wait, I think I'm on
some sort of delay here.
77
00:03:50,515 --> 00:03:51,541
(clears throat)
78
00:03:51,566 --> 00:03:53,566
Best man visor for the dealer.
79
00:03:54,304 --> 00:03:56,622
Customized playing cards.
80
00:03:56,697 --> 00:03:58,414
Barney's the king.
81
00:03:58,835 --> 00:04:00,958
And... the queens...
82
00:04:01,173 --> 00:04:04,065
- are naked.
- It was my first decree.
83
00:04:04,097 --> 00:04:05,021
Hmm.
84
00:04:05,033 --> 00:04:09,779
Plus, Ted handwrote all of the table
cards for the reception in calligraphy.
85
00:04:09,820 --> 00:04:11,326
The man's a wizard with a pen.
86
00:04:11,345 --> 00:04:13,775
Oh. I don't know about all that.
87
00:04:13,908 --> 00:04:16,877
Though I was approached by the
decorating committee to make the...
88
00:04:16,904 --> 00:04:19,193
signs for our senior prom.
89
00:04:19,369 --> 00:04:22,434
I'm told they were
quite the hit.
90
00:04:22,668 --> 00:04:23,831
(sucks air through teeth)
91
00:04:23,856 --> 00:04:30,299
Hey, buddy, listen, you're gonna kill me,
but I forgot to bring the table cards.
92
00:04:30,322 --> 00:04:32,411
Uh, I'd hate to ask
you to redo them...
93
00:04:32,430 --> 00:04:34,814
Say no more.
The best man is on it.
94
00:04:34,999 --> 00:04:37,349
- Thanks, Ted.
- (scoffs)
95
00:04:37,388 --> 00:04:43,494
S-So now the best man is painstakingly
handwriting 200 table cards,
96
00:04:43,544 --> 00:04:48,532
but my maid of honor forgot
to click "send" on an Evite.
97
00:04:48,553 --> 00:04:51,853
I didn't forget to invite the
girls to your bachelorette party.
98
00:04:51,874 --> 00:04:53,824
You have no girls!
99
00:04:53,869 --> 00:04:54,982
(high-pitched):
What?
100
00:04:55,003 --> 00:04:56,983
(chuckles)
What?
101
00:04:58,094 --> 00:04:59,307
What?
102
00:04:59,481 --> 00:05:02,181
What? I... All my girls.
103
00:05:02,611 --> 00:05:04,222
I gave you a list.
104
00:05:04,397 --> 00:05:06,391
- This list?
- Yeah.
105
00:05:06,439 --> 00:05:08,393
"Tall girl from work,
106
00:05:08,419 --> 00:05:10,961
"mouth-breather
from coffee shop,
107
00:05:11,502 --> 00:05:14,224
"average-sized girl
from that place"?
108
00:05:14,249 --> 00:05:17,612
Ooh. Sorry I didn't track her down.
She sounds great!
109
00:05:17,634 --> 00:05:19,427
She's actually kind of a bitch.
110
00:05:19,958 --> 00:05:23,071
Face it, Robin. You
hate women, and...
111
00:05:23,148 --> 00:05:25,148
women hate you.
112
00:05:26,379 --> 00:05:28,411
Ted didn't go to his prom?
113
00:05:29,135 --> 00:05:30,462
Classic.
114
00:05:30,797 --> 00:05:33,641
While Lily was dropping the
ball as Robin's maid of honor,
115
00:05:33,668 --> 00:05:36,646
the best man was busy
knocking it out of the park.
116
00:05:36,933 --> 00:05:37,971
(sucks air through teeth)
117
00:05:37,993 --> 00:05:40,121
Hey, buddy, listen,
118
00:05:40,129 --> 00:05:44,577
my great-aunt Ida has corns on her
feet and needs a first-floor room.
119
00:05:44,594 --> 00:05:48,072
- Uh, would you mind switching rooms?
- Say no more. The best man is on it.
120
00:05:48,096 --> 00:05:49,178
Thanks, Ted.
121
00:06:01,322 --> 00:06:02,760
- (shouts)
- (whoops)
122
00:06:02,785 --> 00:06:05,479
(sucks air through teeth)
Hey, buddy, listen,
123
00:06:05,501 --> 00:06:07,712
the wedding doves
got here early,
124
00:06:07,731 --> 00:06:11,631
- and I don't know where to put 'em...
- Say no more. The best man is on it!
125
00:06:11,686 --> 00:06:13,020
Thanks, Ted.
126
00:06:13,043 --> 00:06:13,820
(cooing)
127
00:06:13,845 --> 00:06:15,514
Poor guys.
128
00:06:15,755 --> 00:06:17,913
All cooped up.
129
00:06:18,430 --> 00:06:22,256
I guess there's no harm in
letting you out for a bit, huh?
130
00:06:22,713 --> 00:06:25,322
They carpet-bombed
my entire room.
131
00:06:25,992 --> 00:06:28,615
Wish I'd closed my suitcase.
132
00:06:29,678 --> 00:06:31,589
And my mouth.
133
00:06:31,612 --> 00:06:32,697
(sucks air through teeth)
134
00:06:32,722 --> 00:06:34,722
Hey, buddy, listen,
135
00:06:34,753 --> 00:06:38,520
I see you wrote "N-O-period"
instead of the number sign.
136
00:06:38,552 --> 00:06:40,502
- I'm worried that might confuse
the guests... - Say no more.
137
00:06:40,512 --> 00:06:41,900
The best man is on it.
138
00:06:41,928 --> 00:06:43,510
Thanks, Ted.
(knocking)
139
00:06:44,525 --> 00:06:45,451
Here they are.
140
00:06:45,468 --> 00:06:48,761
Freshly penned table cards
in a pretty decent chancery
141
00:06:48,787 --> 00:06:51,261
considering I only had
my travel quills.
142
00:06:51,536 --> 00:06:53,804
Wait. Why's the
poker game started?
143
00:06:53,835 --> 00:06:56,773
Oh, um, the best man
moved the time.
144
00:06:56,866 --> 00:06:58,179
Mm, no, he didn't.
145
00:06:58,218 --> 00:06:59,584
Yes, he did.
146
00:07:00,149 --> 00:07:02,985
Heya, Ted. Thanks for
the sweet lid, bro.
147
00:07:08,386 --> 00:07:10,619
(quietly): Billy Zabka's
your new best man?
148
00:07:10,643 --> 00:07:13,849
He's the best... around.
149
00:07:14,223 --> 00:07:16,142
Sorry, Ted.
Maybe next wedding.
150
00:07:16,166 --> 00:07:18,750
What... So you're playing the
best man poker game without me?
151
00:07:18,775 --> 00:07:20,625
Tim Gunn's here and I'm not?
152
00:07:20,645 --> 00:07:23,433
I'm Barney's personal tailor,
of course I'm here.
153
00:07:23,448 --> 00:07:27,582
Plus, I've never played poker before.
It looks like a hoot.
154
00:07:27,685 --> 00:07:31,273
I moved into a dungeon. I
wrote hundreds of cards.
155
00:07:31,291 --> 00:07:33,645
I even gave your batty
great-aunt Ida a foot massage
156
00:07:33,664 --> 00:07:36,648
so vigorous it put her to
sleep right there in the lobby.
157
00:07:36,687 --> 00:07:39,403
Yeah, I don't really have
a great-aunt Ida.
158
00:07:44,212 --> 00:07:46,519
So you are mad about me
and Robin holding hands.
159
00:07:46,530 --> 00:07:48,248
Of course I'm mad, Ted.
160
00:07:48,269 --> 00:07:51,257
Holding hands is, like, the
fourth-grade equivalent of banging.
161
00:07:51,319 --> 00:07:53,600
Well, in your case, 12th grade.
Self-five.
162
00:07:53,658 --> 00:07:55,977
You broke the Bro Code.
163
00:07:55,996 --> 00:07:59,941
No, I did not. I only went to help Robin
as a friend because you didn't show up.
164
00:07:59,965 --> 00:08:02,796
- I did not break the Bro Code.
- It's in the text.
165
00:08:02,812 --> 00:08:07,181
A bro shall not have a weird
moment with another bro's fiancée.
166
00:08:07,206 --> 00:08:10,642
Well, too bad we're in Farhampton
and can't actually check.
167
00:08:10,674 --> 00:08:12,851
I am pleased to announce
that the Bro Code has replaced
168
00:08:12,886 --> 00:08:15,720
the Gideons Bible at select
hotels throughout the country.
169
00:08:16,904 --> 00:08:18,029
Oh.
170
00:08:18,510 --> 00:08:20,648
I'm sorry I said you hate women.
171
00:08:20,665 --> 00:08:21,964
Yeah, don't be.
172
00:08:22,035 --> 00:08:23,816
For whatever reason, I just...
173
00:08:23,845 --> 00:08:26,226
(sighs) I can't seem to
connect with them. Down!
174
00:08:26,358 --> 00:08:29,790
Can you help me? I've got a bunch
more wedding gifts in the van.
175
00:08:29,810 --> 00:08:33,026
Yay! I love Robin so much!
176
00:08:33,112 --> 00:08:35,396
(quietly): Oh, God, I'm
gonna strangle that bitch.
177
00:08:35,413 --> 00:08:38,139
Robin, what is it
with you and women?
178
00:08:38,155 --> 00:08:39,030
(groans)
179
00:08:39,055 --> 00:08:40,599
They're so annoying.
180
00:08:40,665 --> 00:08:43,232
I'm glad that you're
my only female friend.
181
00:08:43,252 --> 00:08:46,452
Girls are always whining and
crying over every little thing.
182
00:08:46,477 --> 00:08:48,008
- (groans)
- (crying)
183
00:08:48,247 --> 00:08:50,769
Yes. That's exactly...
184
00:08:50,814 --> 00:08:54,102
Thank you. "Oh, oh, boo-hoo.
185
00:08:54,119 --> 00:08:57,555
"Look at me. I'm a sensitive little
girl..." Oh. God, I'm sorry.
186
00:08:57,585 --> 00:08:59,073
You're actually crying.
(groans)
187
00:08:59,108 --> 00:09:01,202
It's just so sad.
188
00:09:01,227 --> 00:09:02,015
(sobs)
189
00:09:02,033 --> 00:09:04,344
I can't be your only girlfriend.
190
00:09:04,369 --> 00:09:06,878
Well, I... I don't need anybody else.
I got... I got you.
191
00:09:06,899 --> 00:09:11,138
For another six days and then
I'm off to Rome for a year.
192
00:09:11,169 --> 00:09:11,773
(gasps)
193
00:09:11,791 --> 00:09:17,621
What are you gonna do without our Saturday
morning brunch with a side of sassy gossip?
194
00:09:18,261 --> 00:09:20,246
A one-shot power play?!
195
00:09:20,275 --> 00:09:21,934
Hey! Hey, Boston!
196
00:09:21,947 --> 00:09:26,461
Why not drop your hockey pants and actually
take a dump on the ice next time?!
197
00:09:26,490 --> 00:09:27,400
(cackles)
198
00:09:27,412 --> 00:09:29,113
I love it!
199
00:09:30,369 --> 00:09:31,282
(groans)
200
00:09:31,295 --> 00:09:34,682
See? It is just too horrible
to even think about.
201
00:09:34,716 --> 00:09:36,132
- Yeah.
- You...
202
00:09:36,159 --> 00:09:38,090
need another female friend.
203
00:09:38,111 --> 00:09:41,856
(sighs) Whenever I try to talk to women,
they look like they want to punch me.
204
00:09:41,889 --> 00:09:46,016
Well, maybe you're accidentally
giving off the wrong vibe.
205
00:09:46,147 --> 00:09:49,013
Like, what do you say
to other women at the gym?
206
00:09:49,040 --> 00:09:50,811
Oh, well, I haven't been
to the gym in forever.
207
00:09:50,830 --> 00:09:53,149
My metabolism is all messed up.
208
00:09:53,166 --> 00:09:55,278
See, I can moose down a pint
of fudge ripple
209
00:09:55,306 --> 00:09:58,866
for a midnight snack and
wake up having lost weight.
210
00:09:58,886 --> 00:09:59,655
(groans)
211
00:09:59,673 --> 00:10:01,886
Well, everywhere
except for my boobs.
212
00:10:02,384 --> 00:10:04,028
So annoying.
213
00:10:05,470 --> 00:10:08,099
You're gonna need a lot of work.
214
00:10:08,836 --> 00:10:10,783
It's in here.
Somewhere.
215
00:10:10,842 --> 00:10:12,711
I... It has to be.
216
00:10:12,862 --> 00:10:15,509
Damn it, I know I should've done these
in alphabrotical order. (groans)
217
00:10:15,541 --> 00:10:17,447
Who cares about the Bro Code?
218
00:10:17,471 --> 00:10:19,195
It's just some stupid book
you made up.
219
00:10:19,227 --> 00:10:20,408
(gasps)
220
00:10:20,432 --> 00:10:22,102
How dare you?
221
00:10:22,141 --> 00:10:26,566
The Bro Code has been around
for centuries. Nay...
222
00:10:27,321 --> 00:10:29,344
whatever's more than centuries.
223
00:10:29,369 --> 00:10:30,988
Please don't launch into
a fake history lesson.
224
00:10:31,009 --> 00:10:36,636
The Bro Code can trace its lineage
all the way back to Broses himself.
225
00:10:37,726 --> 00:10:39,945
Article one:
226
00:10:39,980 --> 00:10:43,500
bros before ho's.
227
00:10:43,739 --> 00:10:45,953
TED: Okay. I see what you're doing.
You can't prove that
228
00:10:45,961 --> 00:10:47,970
I broke the Bro Code, so you're
just making up stories about...
229
00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:54,227
This sacred text was eventually brought
to the New World in 1776 by none other
230
00:10:54,452 --> 00:10:56,180
than Christopher Brolumbus.
231
00:10:56,605 --> 00:10:58,689
Article 62:
232
00:10:58,724 --> 00:11:02,639
a bro who calls dibs
first has dibs.
233
00:11:02,805 --> 00:11:04,991
Oh? Dibs!
234
00:11:05,132 --> 00:11:08,545
And that's why he got
to bang Pocahontas.
235
00:11:08,691 --> 00:11:10,586
Pocahontas was with John Smith.
236
00:11:10,616 --> 00:11:12,391
Maybe according to
the hotel register.
237
00:11:12,418 --> 00:11:15,686
Whatever Mrs. Brolumbus didn't know
couldn't hurt her, am I right?
238
00:11:15,705 --> 00:11:18,423
Well, except maybe that New World syphilis.
But I digress.
239
00:11:18,474 --> 00:11:21,083
Barney, if you believe
in the Bro Code,
240
00:11:21,111 --> 00:11:22,705
how come you've broken
it so many times?
241
00:11:22,736 --> 00:11:23,713
(gasps loudly)
242
00:11:23,741 --> 00:11:27,568
How dare you! I have never
broken the Bro Code!
243
00:11:28,137 --> 00:11:29,781
Hmm? Hmm? Ah.
244
00:11:29,804 --> 00:11:31,520
"Article 104:
245
00:11:31,916 --> 00:11:35,418
the mom of a bro
is always off limits."
246
00:11:35,616 --> 00:11:40,476
Okay, look, we've all had a lot of fun
joking about me banging your mom.
247
00:11:40,503 --> 00:11:41,601
Not all of us. Continue.
248
00:11:41,624 --> 00:11:45,947
But I swear nothing ever
happened between the two of us.
249
00:11:46,629 --> 00:11:47,504
Trust me.
250
00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:49,445
And what's going on
with your fingers?
251
00:11:52,217 --> 00:11:53,980
(whispering): That's how our
bodies were intertwined.
252
00:11:53,989 --> 00:11:55,525
All right, this is ridiculous!
253
00:11:55,553 --> 00:11:59,095
It's ridiculous that you won't admit
holding Robin's hand was weird.
254
00:11:59,111 --> 00:12:01,930
- It wasn't weird!
- Yes, it was.
255
00:12:03,866 --> 00:12:04,697
You know what?
256
00:12:04,720 --> 00:12:09,072
We need a third
impartial bro to settle this.
257
00:12:09,456 --> 00:12:10,939
To resolve this,
258
00:12:11,116 --> 00:12:13,753
I really need to parse the
text of the Bro Code.
259
00:12:13,787 --> 00:12:15,792
It's too bad Marshall
doesn't have a copy.
260
00:12:15,851 --> 00:12:17,589
Actually, I do.
261
00:12:18,702 --> 00:12:22,340
They were in the, uh, seat back pockets on
my flight in place of the safety cards.
262
00:12:22,435 --> 00:12:24,457
I'm also pleased to announce
The Bro Code is now available
263
00:12:24,471 --> 00:12:26,657
in select airlines
across the country.
264
00:12:26,861 --> 00:12:28,374
And Lufthansa.
265
00:12:28,543 --> 00:12:31,072
Der Bro Code is, like,
huge in Germany.
266
00:12:31,440 --> 00:12:36,235
Okay, so prove to me you
can make a female friend.
267
00:12:36,485 --> 00:12:37,954
What about her?
268
00:12:38,210 --> 00:12:40,373
Ugh! The girl
with the bangs?
269
00:12:40,916 --> 00:12:44,325
Any chick who does that to her hair is
going through a big life transition
270
00:12:44,347 --> 00:12:45,874
I don't want to hear about.
271
00:12:45,902 --> 00:12:48,655
Next time, grow your bangs long
enough to cover your mouth.
272
00:12:48,717 --> 00:12:50,098
Ha-pass.
273
00:12:50,394 --> 00:12:51,877
Okay, well...
274
00:12:51,895 --> 00:12:55,004
- what about her?
- Ugh! Comfortable shoes?
275
00:12:55,091 --> 00:12:56,320
(laughing)
276
00:12:56,360 --> 00:12:58,586
What, are you
filibustering later?
277
00:12:58,611 --> 00:13:00,242
It's after 5:00.
Put on some heels.
278
00:13:00,262 --> 00:13:01,261
Ha-pass.
279
00:13:01,967 --> 00:13:04,328
- Okay, well, what about...?
- Ugh!
280
00:13:04,359 --> 00:13:06,992
I haven't even pointed
to anyone yet!
281
00:13:07,948 --> 00:13:12,240
MARSHALL: Now, although not
expressly stated in the Bro Code,
282
00:13:12,277 --> 00:13:17,049
a weird moment between a bro
and his bro's fiancée is,
283
00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:19,052
in my bropinion...
284
00:13:19,446 --> 00:13:21,085
- a violation.
- No! - Yes!
285
00:13:21,110 --> 00:13:24,216
However, Ted was helping
Robin as a friend.
286
00:13:24,342 --> 00:13:28,926
Therefore, holding her hand isn't
necessarily a weird moment.
287
00:13:29,006 --> 00:13:30,337
- No!
- Yes!
288
00:13:30,355 --> 00:13:31,581
That being said...
289
00:13:31,611 --> 00:13:32,806
- What?
- (mutters)
290
00:13:32,840 --> 00:13:36,492
...if we decide that holding
any friend's hand is weird,
291
00:13:36,517 --> 00:13:39,447
then, yes, Ted did
break the Bro Code.
292
00:13:39,467 --> 00:13:40,798
So, the question is this.
293
00:13:40,818 --> 00:13:44,572
If Ted had gone to the park
and held Barney's hand,
294
00:13:45,236 --> 00:13:47,059
would it have been weird?
295
00:13:47,897 --> 00:13:49,837
- No?
- Yes?
296
00:13:55,685 --> 00:13:56,741
See?
297
00:13:56,772 --> 00:13:57,835
(scoffs)
298
00:13:57,853 --> 00:13:59,904
It's not weird at all.
299
00:14:02,297 --> 00:14:04,441
- I don't know what to say.
- Just be yourself.
300
00:14:04,468 --> 00:14:05,643
Say something nice.
301
00:14:05,666 --> 00:14:07,549
Which one? I can't do both.
302
00:14:12,453 --> 00:14:13,865
Slut alert.
303
00:14:13,887 --> 00:14:15,948
That's my 14-year-old daughter.
304
00:14:18,559 --> 00:14:20,487
Crappy mom alert.
305
00:14:20,518 --> 00:14:22,831
Ugh! It's you. Nice bangs.
306
00:14:25,611 --> 00:14:28,318
- What is wrong with you?!
- I can't do this, okay?
307
00:14:28,336 --> 00:14:30,093
I was raised as a boy.
308
00:14:30,109 --> 00:14:31,731
I don't get along with women.
309
00:14:31,748 --> 00:14:33,668
Can we just drop it?
310
00:14:33,876 --> 00:14:38,884
Okay, I never thought I'd take a page
out of your fiancé's playbook, but...
311
00:14:38,922 --> 00:14:42,999
it's time to target
the crying chick.
312
00:14:44,796 --> 00:14:47,340
Not weird at all.
313
00:14:48,291 --> 00:14:50,372
BARNEY: Marshall, why
are we doing this?!
314
00:14:50,496 --> 00:14:54,860
Two dudes on a beach with a lifeless
blob they're pretending is alive?
315
00:14:54,876 --> 00:14:55,720
It's stupid.
316
00:14:55,744 --> 00:14:59,366
So, I guess that means Weekend
at Bernie's is stupid, too.
317
00:14:59,394 --> 00:15:00,144
(gasps)
318
00:15:00,180 --> 00:15:01,540
E-Lawyered.
319
00:15:01,985 --> 00:15:04,320
Now, before I can
render a decision,
320
00:15:04,344 --> 00:15:08,164
we need to recreate the variables at
the carousel as closely as possible.
321
00:15:08,214 --> 00:15:11,732
Since Ted says that he
was comforting Robin,
322
00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:15,627
he needs to do the same
for Barney, so, Ted,
323
00:15:15,652 --> 00:15:17,076
comfort Barney.
324
00:15:17,534 --> 00:15:20,465
- I don't see how that...
- Comfort... Barney.
325
00:15:20,809 --> 00:15:22,392
(sputters)
326
00:15:23,047 --> 00:15:24,647
Barney,
327
00:15:24,754 --> 00:15:28,682
what is going on with you? Why
are you so upset with me?
328
00:15:29,571 --> 00:15:32,909
- Marshall, this is stupid! I don't...
- Accept the comfort.
329
00:15:33,098 --> 00:15:34,667
Fine!
330
00:15:35,316 --> 00:15:36,112
(sighs)
331
00:15:36,136 --> 00:15:39,395
I guess... I'm not
really mad at you.
332
00:15:39,414 --> 00:15:43,565
I'm mad at myself. I should have met
Robin at the carousel when she called,
333
00:15:43,579 --> 00:15:46,998
but I was having such a good
time greasing 12-year-olds.
334
00:15:47,020 --> 00:15:47,986
Laser tag.
335
00:15:48,013 --> 00:15:50,147
Helpful. Continue.
336
00:15:51,227 --> 00:15:54,560
Look, Ted, I'm sorry that I've
been taking it out on you.
337
00:15:54,587 --> 00:15:57,458
You were just being
a good friend to Robin.
338
00:15:58,071 --> 00:15:59,346
It's okay.
339
00:15:59,540 --> 00:16:03,639
It would be different if you still had
feelings for her, but you don't, right?
340
00:16:06,965 --> 00:16:08,415
Right?
341
00:16:08,939 --> 00:16:10,524
(thunder booming)
342
00:16:14,221 --> 00:16:16,095
Okay, now it's weird.
343
00:16:21,980 --> 00:16:24,339
You still have
feelings for Robin?!
344
00:16:24,373 --> 00:16:27,600
What?! What?! What?! What?!
345
00:16:27,629 --> 00:16:29,346
Okay, yes, sometimes I do.
346
00:16:29,451 --> 00:16:30,596
Well, then, turn 'em off!
347
00:16:30,619 --> 00:16:32,652
I would love to, but it
doesn't work that way!
348
00:16:32,666 --> 00:16:35,733
I'm a... I'm a human being.
I-I-I don't have an off switch.
349
00:16:35,774 --> 00:16:37,627
I'm shutting off.
350
00:16:39,947 --> 00:16:41,463
There, there.
351
00:16:42,088 --> 00:16:43,388
Sister?
352
00:16:45,165 --> 00:16:46,806
Who needs a lady hug?
353
00:16:47,029 --> 00:16:49,201
Ugh! What the hell
are you doing?!
354
00:16:49,237 --> 00:16:51,122
Wait. Did you just
"ugh" my hug?
355
00:16:51,151 --> 00:16:52,250
I don't need a hug.
356
00:16:52,277 --> 00:16:56,042
I'm pissed off because the Rangers
just lost to the Boston Bruins.
357
00:16:56,072 --> 00:16:58,642
BOTH: I hate the Boston Bruins!
358
00:17:00,028 --> 00:17:01,361
(laughs)
359
00:17:02,406 --> 00:17:04,031
Look, Barney, I hate
these feelings.
360
00:17:04,065 --> 00:17:06,210
I hate myself for
having these feelings.
361
00:17:06,236 --> 00:17:08,861
No one wishes they would go away
more than I do,
362
00:17:08,954 --> 00:17:12,173
but I just... I... I can't seem
to make that happen. I've tried.
363
00:17:12,202 --> 00:17:13,569
Well, then, try harder!
364
00:17:13,592 --> 00:17:15,990
I'm marrying her in
less than two days!
365
00:17:16,086 --> 00:17:18,416
What the hell are we gonna do
about this?!
366
00:17:20,534 --> 00:17:24,184
NARRATOR: As she watched Robin make
a new friend, Lily was happy...
367
00:17:24,603 --> 00:17:26,209
for two seconds.
368
00:17:26,852 --> 00:17:28,819
- Oh, no!
- Oh, come on, ref!
369
00:17:28,849 --> 00:17:31,907
I haven't seen that much hooking go
unpunished since my last trip to Vegas.
370
00:17:31,975 --> 00:17:35,363
And I was on that trip, because
we are best friends now.
371
00:17:35,408 --> 00:17:36,490
(laughs)
372
00:17:36,493 --> 00:17:37,439
(both laughing)
373
00:17:37,460 --> 00:17:42,597
Hey, this might sound a little nutty,
but how about we inject a sexual edge
374
00:17:42,622 --> 00:17:44,515
into our abiding
friendship that...
375
00:17:44,527 --> 00:17:47,403
BOTH: ...in no way jeopardizes
our emotional connection,
376
00:17:47,426 --> 00:17:49,451
or respective marriages?!
377
00:17:49,520 --> 00:17:50,552
(both giggling)
378
00:17:51,111 --> 00:17:53,123
LILY: Aw! Hell, no!
379
00:17:53,331 --> 00:17:54,470
Excuse me.
380
00:17:54,489 --> 00:17:57,623
I've got a Boston Brewin',
if you know what I mean.
381
00:17:57,646 --> 00:17:59,312
(laughs)
382
00:17:59,558 --> 00:18:01,712
You listen, and you listen good.
383
00:18:01,730 --> 00:18:03,528
If I see your face
around Robin again,
384
00:18:03,536 --> 00:18:07,468
you will be crying about a lot more
than your precious New York Rogers.
385
00:18:07,525 --> 00:18:09,609
- Rangers?
- I will cut you!
386
00:18:09,658 --> 00:18:13,494
(Lily mutters gibberish)
387
00:18:15,645 --> 00:18:17,362
Forgot my purse.
388
00:18:17,462 --> 00:18:18,806
(mutters)
389
00:18:18,845 --> 00:18:20,109
You know what?
390
00:18:20,144 --> 00:18:22,282
That's why I only need you.
391
00:18:22,333 --> 00:18:24,150
'Cause you're a psycho.
392
00:18:25,039 --> 00:18:26,652
My psycho.
393
00:18:27,042 --> 00:18:29,351
- I am, aren't I?
- Mm-hmm.
394
00:18:29,441 --> 00:18:31,151
(giggling)
395
00:18:31,952 --> 00:18:35,213
- There's the blushing bride!
- Back off, Patrice!
396
00:18:36,738 --> 00:18:40,757
Look, Barney, the truth is,
it was weird at the carousel.
397
00:18:40,860 --> 00:18:42,382
On some level, it's
probably been weird
398
00:18:42,399 --> 00:18:44,899
between me and Robin
ever since we broke up.
399
00:18:45,158 --> 00:18:48,155
But you're my brother. I would never
do anything to hurt you, ever.
400
00:18:48,202 --> 00:18:48,955
(scoffs)
401
00:18:48,980 --> 00:18:50,337
I mean it, I swear!
402
00:18:50,366 --> 00:18:52,091
I'll-I'll even swear it
on the Bro Code.
403
00:18:52,121 --> 00:18:55,348
- The Bro Code's stupid.
- (gasps) How dare you!
404
00:18:56,700 --> 00:18:58,330
I'd be honored.
405
00:19:02,981 --> 00:19:06,740
I can't promise that I'll ever
get to a place where it won't be
406
00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:09,375
at least a little weird
between me and Robin.
407
00:19:09,968 --> 00:19:12,982
But I don't want to lose you
as a friend, either of you.
408
00:19:13,476 --> 00:19:18,560
So I will do everything I can
to move on and live with it.
409
00:19:19,277 --> 00:19:21,127
The question is...
410
00:19:21,389 --> 00:19:22,985
can you?
411
00:19:25,179 --> 00:19:26,825
(sighs)
412
00:19:26,933 --> 00:19:30,556
I'm sorry, Ted. I just...
can't do this.
413
00:19:31,738 --> 00:19:33,006
I fold.
414
00:19:34,830 --> 00:19:37,259
What about the best man?
415
00:19:40,678 --> 00:19:42,977
- I fold, too.
- I fold.
416
00:19:43,047 --> 00:19:44,753
There goes my belly buster.
417
00:19:44,875 --> 00:19:48,527
You sandbag all night, only to
bluff a couple of rags, pre-flop,
418
00:19:48,536 --> 00:19:50,470
and wind up with a dry board.
419
00:19:50,699 --> 00:19:55,190
That's what you get for limping in
shorts-tacked with a pack of donkeys.
420
00:19:55,392 --> 00:19:57,188
Muck city.
421
00:19:59,347 --> 00:20:00,365
I fold!
422
00:20:00,390 --> 00:20:01,579
- Yeah...
- Oh, right. I knew that.
423
00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:03,025
- I knew that, I knew that,
- I knew that.
424
00:20:03,047 --> 00:20:05,195
Okay, two players left.
425
00:20:11,103 --> 00:20:13,380
You are bluffing, robot man.
426
00:20:13,711 --> 00:20:15,113
I raise.
427
00:20:15,261 --> 00:20:16,161
BARNEY:
Oh.
428
00:20:16,187 --> 00:20:21,912
Hey, Billy, do you mind pushing my
chips into the center of the pot?
429
00:20:22,076 --> 00:20:25,357
Preferably with
gusto, because...
430
00:20:25,726 --> 00:20:28,849
- I'm all in! - Oh!
- Oh, boy!
431
00:20:28,874 --> 00:20:31,749
- All right, all right.
- ALL: Oh!
432
00:20:33,001 --> 00:20:35,419
(cheering and laughing)
433
00:20:35,852 --> 00:20:38,548
NARRATOR: And that's how I
became Barney's best man again.
434
00:20:38,634 --> 00:20:42,169
Everything was back to
going off without a hitch.
435
00:20:43,490 --> 00:20:45,628
I'm coming for you, Mosby.
436
00:20:45,746 --> 00:20:48,414
NARRATOR: Okay, there
was one slight hitch.
437
00:20:48,777 --> 00:20:53,777
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
33355
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Tamil
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof