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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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00:00:19,744 --> 00:00:24,064
Oh, you look like you're
coming from a wedding.
2
00:00:24,066 --> 00:00:25,432
Was it a nice one?
3
00:00:25,434 --> 00:00:29,820
Uh, it's a long story,
and I don't mean to be rude,
4
00:00:29,822 --> 00:00:32,523
but I really don't
feel like talking about it.
5
00:00:34,742 --> 00:00:37,611
It all started when the
bride asked to see me...
6
00:00:39,998 --> 00:00:41,615
Wow.
7
00:00:41,617 --> 00:00:44,201
Okay, don't
sugarcoat it, Mosby.
8
00:00:44,203 --> 00:00:46,537
Just give it
to me straight, okay?
9
00:00:46,539 --> 00:00:48,171
How bad is Barney
freaking out right now?
10
00:00:48,173 --> 00:00:49,823
Oh, he's fine.
11
00:00:49,825 --> 00:00:51,658
No, I'm serious.
He's totally fine.
12
00:00:51,660 --> 00:00:53,176
I have a better
tie at home!
13
00:00:53,178 --> 00:00:54,344
It's cornflower blue!
14
00:00:54,346 --> 00:00:55,796
It's cornflower
blue!
15
00:00:55,798 --> 00:00:59,550
You may rest assured, Barney
Stinson is absolutely 100%
16
00:00:59,552 --> 00:01:00,801
going through
with this wedding.
17
00:01:00,803 --> 00:01:02,719
Okay.
18
00:01:02,721 --> 00:01:05,339
Good news.
19
00:01:05,341 --> 00:01:08,508
Um, just one
small issue, uh...
20
00:01:08,510 --> 00:01:11,395
I can't go through
with this wedding.
21
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♪ How I Met Your Mother 8x01 ♪
Farhampton
Original Air Date on September 24, 2012
22
00:01:19,034 --> 00:01:23,034
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
23
00:01:24,158 --> 00:01:26,827
Okay, calm down,
everyone feels this way
24
00:01:26,829 --> 00:01:27,794
on their wedding day.
25
00:01:27,796 --> 00:01:29,029
It'll pass.
No.
26
00:01:29,031 --> 00:01:29,997
It's more than that.
27
00:01:29,999 --> 00:01:31,882
I'm having a
serious crisis.
28
00:01:33,534 --> 00:01:36,887
And I wonder if it would be
hard to climb out that window.
29
00:01:36,889 --> 00:01:38,472
Uh, climbing out's easy.
30
00:01:38,474 --> 00:01:40,507
Climbing in's
the real challenge.
31
00:01:40,509 --> 00:01:41,925
Oh, right.
32
00:01:41,927 --> 00:01:43,226
It's the same window,
isn't it?
33
00:01:43,228 --> 00:01:44,544
Yeah.
34
00:01:44,546 --> 00:01:47,481
That storytranspired in May of 2012.
35
00:01:47,483 --> 00:01:50,901
As you may recall, Lily andMarshall were gloriously happy
36
00:01:50,903 --> 00:01:53,236
having just welcomedyour cousin Marvin.
37
00:01:53,238 --> 00:01:56,222
While Barney and Quinnwere gloriously happy
38
00:01:56,224 --> 00:01:58,909
having just gotten engaged.
39
00:01:58,911 --> 00:02:01,194
And Robin, well...
40
00:02:01,196 --> 00:02:02,579
Ah, got it!
41
00:02:02,581 --> 00:02:06,066
Man, that sum'bitch had
been in there since breakfast!
44
00:02:10,238 --> 00:02:11,338
I think there's
some in the fridge.
45
00:02:11,340 --> 00:02:12,572
We'll get it.
46
00:02:12,574 --> 00:02:14,741
We're totally not gonna
go have sex in the kitchen,
47
00:02:14,743 --> 00:02:15,842
if that's what
you're thinking.
48
00:02:15,844 --> 00:02:16,877
Aw, we're not?
49
00:02:16,879 --> 00:02:18,078
No, no, we are.
I already took off your bra.
50
00:02:18,080 --> 00:02:19,546
Oh!
51
00:02:21,215 --> 00:02:23,550
Hey, are you guys sure
you can handle champagne?
52
00:02:23,552 --> 00:02:25,469
You haven't slept
in like a week.
53
00:02:25,471 --> 00:02:26,853
We should just
call it a night.
54
00:02:26,855 --> 00:02:28,805
Oh, I see what
this is about.
55
00:02:28,807 --> 00:02:31,308
You feel weird
because Barney's engaged.
56
00:02:31,310 --> 00:02:32,275
What?!
57
00:02:32,277 --> 00:02:33,810
No. Of course not.
58
00:02:33,812 --> 00:02:35,762
And I will tell you
why it's not weird.
59
00:02:35,764 --> 00:02:36,780
What's not weird?
60
00:02:36,782 --> 00:02:38,098
The fact
that Barney's engaged.
61
00:02:38,100 --> 00:02:39,116
Barney's engaged?!
62
00:02:39,118 --> 00:02:40,317
Heck, this calls
for some champagne.
63
00:02:40,319 --> 00:02:41,785
I think there's
some in the fridge.
64
00:02:41,787 --> 00:02:43,453
Oh, my God, why don't you
both just admit it:
65
00:02:43,455 --> 00:02:46,740
You're deliriously exhausted.
66
00:02:46,742 --> 00:02:48,208
We're fine!
67
00:02:48,210 --> 00:02:49,943
Really?
We're not gonna be
68
00:02:49,945 --> 00:02:51,495
the kind of people
who have a baby
69
00:02:51,497 --> 00:02:53,279
and become total zombies.
70
00:02:53,281 --> 00:02:54,381
Yes, Robin.
71
00:02:54,383 --> 00:02:56,449
We're not gonna be
the kind of people
72
00:02:56,451 --> 00:02:58,085
that have a zombie
and become total babies.
73
00:02:58,087 --> 00:03:00,087
Okay, well, what
the I was saying is...
74
00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:09,680
Do you understand?
75
00:03:09,682 --> 00:03:12,149
Yes! God, yes!
76
00:03:12,151 --> 00:03:14,300
You are preaching
to the choir, sister.
77
00:03:14,302 --> 00:03:16,302
Whew!
78
00:03:16,304 --> 00:03:17,938
Hey.
So...
79
00:03:17,940 --> 00:03:21,108
I am thinking
about my bridal party
80
00:03:21,110 --> 00:03:23,610
and, uh, I don't have
a lot of girlfriends.
81
00:03:23,612 --> 00:03:25,112
I mean,
I have work friends,
82
00:03:25,114 --> 00:03:26,029
but I worked at a strip club
83
00:03:26,031 --> 00:03:27,647
and I know they'll
just complain
84
00:03:27,649 --> 00:03:30,917
about any bridesmaid's dress
that has a front, so...
85
00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:33,003
Would you guys
be my bridesmaids?
86
00:03:33,005 --> 00:03:35,038
I'd be honored.
Yes!
87
00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:36,540
Not you, Marshall.
88
00:03:36,542 --> 00:03:38,425
But, yay, thank you!
Oh.
89
00:03:38,427 --> 00:03:39,459
Oh, thank you.
Oh, my gosh.
90
00:03:39,461 --> 00:03:41,378
It's gonna be
so much fun.
91
00:03:42,630 --> 00:03:44,164
Yeah, now it's weird.
92
00:03:44,166 --> 00:03:45,515
What's weird?
93
00:03:45,517 --> 00:03:47,968
Me being
Quinn's bridesmaid.
94
00:03:47,970 --> 00:03:50,137
Oh, I wouldn't worry
about that, sweetie.
95
00:03:50,139 --> 00:03:51,521
She probably won't
even ask you.
96
00:03:51,523 --> 00:03:52,556
She just did.
97
00:03:52,558 --> 00:03:54,007
And we both said yes.
98
00:03:54,009 --> 00:03:56,860
Heck, this calls
for some champagne.
99
00:03:56,862 --> 00:03:59,012
I think there's
some in the fridge.
100
00:03:59,014 --> 00:04:01,565
Meanwhile,I was also gloriously happy,
101
00:04:01,567 --> 00:04:03,784
driving off into the sunsetwith Victoria,
102
00:04:03,786 --> 00:04:06,787
who left her fiance Klausat the altar for me.
103
00:04:06,789 --> 00:04:08,188
There was just one problem.
104
00:04:08,190 --> 00:04:10,690
I wonder if Klaus
found your note yet.
105
00:04:10,692 --> 00:04:11,691
My note?
106
00:04:11,693 --> 00:04:12,859
Yeah, you know,
107
00:04:12,861 --> 00:04:15,045
the "I'm leaving you
at the altar" note.
108
00:04:15,047 --> 00:04:16,296
Is that a thing?
109
00:04:17,716 --> 00:04:20,700
When you leave someone at the
altar, you always leave a note.
110
00:04:20,702 --> 00:04:22,002
It's common courtesy.
111
00:04:22,004 --> 00:04:25,088
I think common courtesy went
out the window when I did.
112
00:04:25,090 --> 00:04:27,808
Look, when Stella
left me at the altar,
113
00:04:27,810 --> 00:04:29,375
at least I got an explanation.
114
00:04:29,377 --> 00:04:32,378
I mean, that note is
what keeps you sane.
115
00:04:32,380 --> 00:04:35,682
You read it, you re-read it,
you memorize it,
116
00:04:35,684 --> 00:04:38,318
you sleep with it,
you sniff it
117
00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:39,770
because it still
kind of smells like her,
118
00:04:39,772 --> 00:04:41,104
and then, finally...
119
00:04:41,106 --> 00:04:42,906
you let it go...
120
00:04:42,908 --> 00:04:44,908
tied to a brick,
right through her perfect
121
00:04:44,910 --> 00:04:46,559
little suburban bay window.
122
00:04:46,561 --> 00:04:48,612
I'll just text him.
123
00:04:48,614 --> 00:04:50,580
You're leaving a note.
124
00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:54,234
So, Barney and I have
already disagreed
125
00:04:54,236 --> 00:04:55,669
on a few
of the wedding details.
126
00:04:55,671 --> 00:04:57,504
I want to go
with a buffet,
127
00:04:57,506 --> 00:05:00,290
and he wants to ride down the
aisle on a grizzly bear.
128
00:05:00,292 --> 00:05:02,459
He'll be wearing a tux.
129
00:05:03,711 --> 00:05:05,762
Fine, fine, I'll settle
for a panda bear,
130
00:05:05,764 --> 00:05:07,247
but you have
to call my tailor.
131
00:05:07,249 --> 00:05:09,082
He'll be furious
about the switch.
132
00:05:09,084 --> 00:05:11,151
Hey, Barney, uh...
133
00:05:11,153 --> 00:05:12,469
We've gotta talk.
134
00:05:12,471 --> 00:05:16,139
Um, Quinn just asked me
to be one of her bridesmaids.
135
00:05:16,141 --> 00:05:18,975
Isn't she even a little weirded
out that you and I used to date?
136
00:05:18,977 --> 00:05:22,062
Quinn doesn't have
a jealous bone in her body.
137
00:05:22,064 --> 00:05:23,446
She rolls with
the punches.
138
00:05:23,448 --> 00:05:25,532
She...
Doesn't have a clue.
139
00:05:25,534 --> 00:05:27,167
No, she does not.
140
00:05:27,169 --> 00:05:28,702
Okay.
141
00:05:28,704 --> 00:05:30,770
Okay.
142
00:05:30,772 --> 00:05:33,206
"Klaus, there is
no easy way to tell you
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00:05:33,208 --> 00:05:35,108
why I won't be
marrying you today.
144
00:05:35,110 --> 00:05:38,111
Have a great
summer, Victoria."
145
00:05:38,113 --> 00:05:39,946
That's it?
146
00:05:39,948 --> 00:05:42,448
No, no, we gotta
do this right.
147
00:05:42,450 --> 00:05:44,217
Well, you can't write it.
148
00:05:44,219 --> 00:05:47,003
One look, it's gonna be obvious
it's a guy's handwri...
149
00:05:47,005 --> 00:05:49,139
Oh no, we're good.
150
00:05:49,141 --> 00:05:52,008
Okay, fine,
you write, I'll advise.
151
00:05:53,929 --> 00:05:54,928
"Klaus."
152
00:05:54,930 --> 00:05:56,096
Just "Klaus"?
153
00:05:56,098 --> 00:05:57,931
Come on, give it some heart,
the poor guy.
154
00:05:57,933 --> 00:06:01,101
"Dear sweet Klaus..."
155
00:06:01,103 --> 00:06:02,769
"Sweet?" What, are you still
in love with this jerk?
156
00:06:02,771 --> 00:06:04,688
I'm doing this on my own.
157
00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:09,809
I'm sorry, I just...
158
00:06:09,811 --> 00:06:12,112
you know,
I feel bad for the guy.
159
00:06:12,114 --> 00:06:15,148
I'm stealing the greatest girl
in the world away from him.
160
00:06:15,150 --> 00:06:17,868
You're not stealing me.
161
00:06:17,870 --> 00:06:19,870
I'm choosing you.
162
00:06:24,508 --> 00:06:27,794
Because you are loving
163
00:06:27,796 --> 00:06:30,380
and you are caring...
164
00:06:30,382 --> 00:06:33,266
and you are going to
go deliver this note.
165
00:06:33,268 --> 00:06:34,968
Wait, you want me
to go in there?
166
00:06:34,970 --> 00:06:37,971
It took everything
I had to climb out
167
00:06:37,973 --> 00:06:39,222
that church window today.
168
00:06:39,224 --> 00:06:42,642
and if I have
to go back in there,
169
00:06:42,644 --> 00:06:45,395
I'm not sure
I can do it again.
170
00:06:57,158 --> 00:06:58,825
It has to smell like you.
171
00:07:03,986 --> 00:07:07,229
So Quinn has no idea
that we used to date?
172
00:07:07,396 --> 00:07:08,478
None whatsoever.
173
00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:10,447
Okay, Barney,
think this through.
174
00:07:10,449 --> 00:07:13,483
Do you really want to spend the
rest of your life with Quinn...
175
00:07:13,485 --> 00:07:14,600
Oh, God, you have a point.
176
00:07:14,602 --> 00:07:15,619
Haven't gotten to it yet.
177
00:07:17,239 --> 00:07:19,122
Of course. Continue.
178
00:07:19,124 --> 00:07:21,791
Do you really want to spend the
rest of your life with Quinn
179
00:07:21,793 --> 00:07:23,109
and keep this secret?
180
00:07:23,111 --> 00:07:24,628
I mean,
she's gonna find out.
181
00:07:24,630 --> 00:07:26,880
Quinn's not gonna find out
because I've destroyed
182
00:07:26,882 --> 00:07:29,499
every piece of evidence that
you and I were ever a couple.
183
00:07:29,501 --> 00:07:30,917
That's ridiculous.
184
00:07:30,919 --> 00:07:33,003
You couldn't have
gotten rid of all of it.
185
00:07:39,060 --> 00:07:41,294
You replaced me with a tiger.
186
00:07:41,296 --> 00:07:42,962
I couldn't completely
get you out of that one.
187
00:07:42,964 --> 00:07:44,180
Had to get creative.
188
00:07:44,182 --> 00:07:48,301
Well, I'm glad that deleting
our entire time together
189
00:07:48,303 --> 00:07:49,802
was so easy for you.
190
00:07:49,804 --> 00:07:52,689
But I guarantee you: Quinn is
gonna find out eventually.
191
00:07:52,691 --> 00:07:53,940
No, she won't.
192
00:07:53,942 --> 00:07:55,191
I just need your help.
193
00:07:55,193 --> 00:07:56,326
Yours, too.
194
00:07:56,328 --> 00:07:57,477
I know you're out of it,
195
00:07:57,479 --> 00:07:59,362
but you have to promise
not to tell Quinn, okay?
196
00:07:59,364 --> 00:08:00,780
Tell Quinn what?
197
00:08:00,782 --> 00:08:01,814
Exactly.
198
00:08:01,816 --> 00:08:03,149
No, she's really asking.
199
00:08:03,151 --> 00:08:04,501
Tell Quinn what?
200
00:08:09,925 --> 00:08:13,659
Ooooooh...
201
00:08:23,020 --> 00:08:25,305
Can't climb the drainpipe.
What?
202
00:08:25,307 --> 00:08:27,173
When I was in fourth grade,
I couldn't climb the rope
203
00:08:27,175 --> 00:08:29,025
in gym class and all the other
kids made fun of me,
204
00:08:29,027 --> 00:08:30,360
even though
it wasn't my fault.
205
00:08:30,362 --> 00:08:32,479
I had to go after
Efthimios Papajapoulos.
206
00:08:32,481 --> 00:08:34,397
The rope was slick
with lamb grease!
207
00:08:34,399 --> 00:08:37,517
Okay, so just walk
in the front door
208
00:08:37,519 --> 00:08:38,618
and act like you belong.
209
00:08:38,620 --> 00:08:39,685
Here.
210
00:08:39,687 --> 00:08:41,237
Here's the key to
the dressing room.
211
00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:50,696
Can I help you?
212
00:08:50,698 --> 00:08:53,083
Hi.
I'm the church handyman.
213
00:08:53,968 --> 00:08:55,585
I'm here to fix
the broken thing.
214
00:08:55,587 --> 00:08:56,536
It's busted.
215
00:08:56,538 --> 00:08:58,922
The bride is
taking a "schnooze."
216
00:08:58,924 --> 00:09:01,925
She asked me to stand watch
so that no one disturbs her.
217
00:09:01,927 --> 00:09:03,410
I'll be quick.
218
00:09:03,412 --> 00:09:04,644
You will be dead.
219
00:09:04,646 --> 00:09:06,563
I used to wrestle
in Leipzig.
220
00:09:06,565 --> 00:09:07,647
You know what?
221
00:09:07,649 --> 00:09:08,598
A note's redundant.
222
00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:10,066
You're not there.
He gets it.
223
00:09:10,068 --> 00:09:12,602
No, you were right,
I have to leave a note.
224
00:09:12,604 --> 00:09:13,686
It's common courtesy.
225
00:09:13,688 --> 00:09:15,405
Well, it's not
gonna be possible
226
00:09:15,407 --> 00:09:17,657
with Andrea the Giant
standing guard up there.
227
00:09:17,659 --> 00:09:19,609
Oh, right, Klaus's sister.
228
00:09:19,611 --> 00:09:21,261
It's too bad
Barney's not here.
229
00:09:21,263 --> 00:09:23,747
Man, he lives
for bridesmaids.
230
00:09:23,749 --> 00:09:25,198
Right, but he's not.
231
00:09:25,200 --> 00:09:27,733
And it's not like he could
seduce Uta over the phone.
232
00:09:29,370 --> 00:09:31,004
Challenge accepted!
233
00:09:31,006 --> 00:09:33,106
Honey, it's not cheating
if it's on the phone, right?
234
00:09:33,108 --> 00:09:34,073
Say what now?
235
00:09:34,075 --> 00:09:35,074
Quinn's on board!
236
00:09:35,076 --> 00:09:36,092
Text me her number!
237
00:09:36,094 --> 00:09:40,013
You filthy, disgusting man!
238
00:09:40,015 --> 00:09:43,916
But yes, I will do that to
myself at your instruction.
239
00:09:43,918 --> 00:09:45,769
Let me find a broom closet.
240
00:09:47,721 --> 00:09:50,190
Oh, ja, good.
241
00:10:02,536 --> 00:10:04,370
I did it. I did it!
242
00:10:04,372 --> 00:10:05,622
You're amazing.
243
00:10:05,624 --> 00:10:07,273
Let's get out of here.
244
00:10:11,495 --> 00:10:13,830
I left the car keys
in the dressing room.
245
00:10:14,748 --> 00:10:17,467
Pretty sure the door
locked behind me.
246
00:10:20,639 --> 00:10:23,623
Oh, God... Oh, God...
Oh, God...
247
00:10:23,625 --> 00:10:26,009
I found it kind of insulting
that Barney doesn't
248
00:10:26,011 --> 00:10:27,760
think we can
keep this secret.
249
00:10:27,762 --> 00:10:30,897
I mean, yeah, Marvin's
keeping us up all night.
250
00:10:30,899 --> 00:10:34,317
But he's still the prettiest
little girl in the city.
251
00:10:35,903 --> 00:10:37,904
Baby, did you
just hear yourself?
252
00:10:37,906 --> 00:10:41,474
You said, "Prettiest
little girl in the city."
253
00:10:41,476 --> 00:10:42,859
I think you meant "country""
254
00:10:42,861 --> 00:10:44,944
Yeah.
255
00:10:44,946 --> 00:10:46,579
I mean, what
does Barney think?
256
00:10:46,581 --> 00:10:48,364
We're just gonna blurt out
that he used to date...
257
00:10:48,366 --> 00:10:49,616
Shh!
258
00:10:49,618 --> 00:10:53,486
Oh... that was close.
259
00:10:53,488 --> 00:10:55,154
Quinn could've heard
us through the...
260
00:10:56,458 --> 00:10:57,957
Good catch!
261
00:10:57,959 --> 00:11:01,711
I almost just blurted out
that Barney used to date Robin!
262
00:11:01,713 --> 00:11:03,046
Barney used
to date Robin?!
263
00:11:06,518 --> 00:11:07,934
When did you get in here?
264
00:11:07,936 --> 00:11:10,019
Like, ten minutes ago
when you said,
265
00:11:10,021 --> 00:11:12,856
"Hey Quinn, let's all go hang
out in Marvin's room."
266
00:11:13,858 --> 00:11:16,842
Aufwiedersehen, fraulein.
267
00:11:16,844 --> 00:11:18,978
You know, I hate
to perpetuate the stereotype,
268
00:11:18,980 --> 00:11:23,483
but German female wrestlers from
Saxony are just begging for it.
269
00:11:23,485 --> 00:11:24,684
You dated Robin?
270
00:11:24,686 --> 00:11:27,403
Verdammt!
271
00:11:31,813 --> 00:11:33,914
I'm sorry I lied to you.
I'll tell you everything.
272
00:11:33,984 --> 00:11:36,360
The whole story.
Fine. You have one minute
273
00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:37,728
before I walk out that door.
274
00:11:37,730 --> 00:11:40,415
Um, it's, uh, kind
of a long story, Quinn.
275
00:11:40,417 --> 00:11:42,033
Gonna take a bit little
longer than a minute.
276
00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:43,768
52 seconds.
277
00:11:43,770 --> 00:11:45,753
Seven years ago, when Marshall
and Lily got engaged,
278
00:11:45,755 --> 00:11:47,922
Ted saw Robin across a crowded
room, and I said, "Oh, yeah,
279
00:11:47,924 --> 00:11:49,707
you just know she likes it
dirty," but Ted really liked her
280
00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:51,209
so we played
"Have you met Ted?"
281
00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:52,927
They went to dinner, he walked
her home, shoulda kissed her,
282
00:11:52,929 --> 00:11:54,579
didn't-- lame-- so he stole
a smurf penis, went back
283
00:11:54,581 --> 00:11:55,847
to her place, should've kissed
her, didn't-- lame.
284
00:11:55,849 --> 00:11:57,415
He threw three parties,
they kissed on the roof,
285
00:11:57,417 --> 00:11:58,800
but decided to be friends--
lame--
286
00:11:58,802 --> 00:12:00,218
then Ted wanted to
take Robin to a wedding,
287
00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:01,686
she couldn't go, he went alone
and met Victoria,
288
00:12:01,688 --> 00:12:03,304
didn't kiss her either-- lame--
not a great closer, Ted--
289
00:12:03,306 --> 00:12:05,256
but he finally kissed her,
they started dating,
290
00:12:05,258 --> 00:12:07,225
she went to Germany, Ted kissed
Robin, lost Victoria,
291
00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:09,277
Ted did a rain dance, got Robin,
Ted and Robin broke up,
292
00:12:09,279 --> 00:12:11,112
Robin moved to Brazil,
came back with a Latin stud,
293
00:12:11,114 --> 00:12:13,097
Ted got jealous, got a tramp
stamp, not really relevant
294
00:12:13,099 --> 00:12:14,482
to the story I just like
mentioning that
295
00:12:14,484 --> 00:12:16,284
as much as possible, I hooked up
with Robin, Ted and I stopped
296
00:12:16,286 --> 00:12:18,102
being friends, Ted got hit
by a bus, we made up...
297
00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:21,406
Robin and I started dating,
I got fat, her hair fell out.
298
00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:22,874
We broke up, Robin dated Don,
I dated Nora,
299
00:12:22,876 --> 00:12:24,075
cheated on her with Robin,
I dumped Nora,
300
00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:25,410
Robin dated Kevin,
but not for long,
301
00:12:25,412 --> 00:12:26,411
and then I met you and you took
my grandpa's watch
302
00:12:26,413 --> 00:12:27,829
but I fell in love
with you anyway,
303
00:12:27,831 --> 00:12:29,163
and you let me fart in front of
you and I asked you to marry me
304
00:12:29,165 --> 00:12:30,781
and you said yes and we came
over here to meet little Marvin
305
00:12:30,783 --> 00:12:32,133
and that's everything!
306
00:12:32,135 --> 00:12:34,836
Also I went on the Price IsRight and won a dune buggy.
307
00:12:37,006 --> 00:12:38,323
Goodbye, Barney.
308
00:12:38,325 --> 00:12:40,391
Good... I j...
309
00:12:42,144 --> 00:12:43,745
She lets you fart
in front of her?
310
00:12:44,546 --> 00:12:45,630
Barney...
311
00:12:45,632 --> 00:12:48,633
you go get that girl.
312
00:13:04,166 --> 00:13:05,166
Oh, God!
313
00:13:05,168 --> 00:13:07,001
You cannot tell anyone
that you saw me.
314
00:13:07,003 --> 00:13:08,152
I cannot get married today!
315
00:13:08,154 --> 00:13:09,170
Klaus?
316
00:13:09,172 --> 00:13:10,838
Oh, I'm a mess.
317
00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:13,257
I threw up in the cloakroom,
I blamed a small child.
318
00:13:13,259 --> 00:13:14,258
I cannot get married.
319
00:13:14,260 --> 00:13:15,426
I left a note.
320
00:13:15,428 --> 00:13:16,961
Good for you.
Not everyone thinks of that.
321
00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:17,962
Who doesn't leave a note?
322
00:13:17,964 --> 00:13:18,963
It's common courtesy.
323
00:13:18,965 --> 00:13:20,665
Thank you!
324
00:13:20,667 --> 00:13:22,500
Do you have the time?
Um...
325
00:13:22,502 --> 00:13:23,801
Yeah, it's 20 after 7:00.
326
00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:24,886
Ah, sehr gut.
327
00:13:24,888 --> 00:13:26,854
I can still make
the 8:05 back to the city.
328
00:13:26,856 --> 00:13:28,556
Auf wiedersehen!
329
00:13:28,558 --> 00:13:29,724
And suddenly it hit me:
330
00:13:29,726 --> 00:13:33,511
a way to absolveVictoria of any blame.
331
00:13:33,513 --> 00:13:37,065
All I had to dowas climb that drainpipe.
332
00:14:01,473 --> 00:14:05,393
What?
No, Klaus, no.
333
00:14:16,438 --> 00:14:20,074
Mach schnell, sleepyhead,
it's time to...
334
00:14:20,076 --> 00:14:21,659
I know about
you and Barney.
335
00:14:21,661 --> 00:14:23,828
Who told her?!
336
00:14:23,830 --> 00:14:25,279
You guys did.
337
00:14:25,281 --> 00:14:27,281
God, go to sleep.
338
00:14:27,283 --> 00:14:31,285
Okay, no one is going anywhere
until we find out who told you.
339
00:14:31,287 --> 00:14:32,620
Look...
340
00:14:32,622 --> 00:14:35,673
there is nothing going on
between me and Robin.
341
00:14:35,675 --> 00:14:37,425
And why should
I believe that?
342
00:14:37,427 --> 00:14:39,377
Well, for starters,
I have a boyfriend.
343
00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:41,912
No, Robin, you don't
have to do this.
344
00:14:41,914 --> 00:14:43,247
There've been enough lies.
345
00:14:43,249 --> 00:14:44,766
I'm not lying.
346
00:14:44,768 --> 00:14:46,134
His name is Nick.
347
00:14:46,136 --> 00:14:48,586
I didn't want to jinx it
by telling everyone,
348
00:14:48,588 --> 00:14:50,438
so I just told
Marshall and Lily.
349
00:14:50,440 --> 00:14:51,939
You can tell 'em, guys.
350
00:14:54,359 --> 00:14:56,644
We were just talking
about this earlier today.
351
00:14:56,646 --> 00:14:59,147
Okay, well,
what I was saying is...
352
00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:05,653
I have no desire to get Barney
back because I'm with Nick now
353
00:15:05,655 --> 00:15:08,439
and, well, I don't
want to be crude,
354
00:15:08,441 --> 00:15:12,443
but I want to spend
all day licking his abs.
355
00:15:12,445 --> 00:15:13,444
Do you understand?
356
00:15:13,446 --> 00:15:15,630
Yes! God, yes!
357
00:15:15,632 --> 00:15:18,666
You are preaching
to the choir, sister.
358
00:15:18,668 --> 00:15:20,618
I stand by it.
359
00:15:20,620 --> 00:15:23,087
Guys, it's okay.
360
00:15:23,089 --> 00:15:23,971
You're new parents.
361
00:15:23,973 --> 00:15:25,289
You just need
to get some sleep.
362
00:15:25,291 --> 00:15:27,058
We're fine!
363
00:15:30,096 --> 00:15:31,512
This is hard, guys.
364
00:15:31,514 --> 00:15:33,481
Really hard.
365
00:15:37,303 --> 00:15:38,803
Oh, God!
Stay with me.
366
00:15:38,805 --> 00:15:39,987
Stay with me.
367
00:15:41,824 --> 00:15:43,691
Go get your baby. Yeah.
368
00:15:45,310 --> 00:15:48,362
Look, it doesn't matter
that you have a boyfriend.
369
00:15:48,364 --> 00:15:50,698
I'm always gonna
be wondering if you secretly
370
00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:52,366
still have feelings
for Barney.
371
00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:54,368
I don't care
who this guy is.
372
00:15:56,655 --> 00:15:58,673
Okay, we're good.
373
00:15:59,842 --> 00:16:01,092
Okay, well,
374
00:16:01,094 --> 00:16:04,428
I'm glad I left
work early for this.
375
00:16:04,430 --> 00:16:05,963
Robin, maybe later we can
discuss the meaning
376
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:08,216
of the word "emergency"
and the phrase
377
00:16:08,218 --> 00:16:09,550
"Trapped under a car."
378
00:16:09,552 --> 00:16:11,168
Okay.
Okay.
379
00:16:16,007 --> 00:16:18,860
You know he
has chicken legs.
380
00:16:18,862 --> 00:16:21,679
Little tiny chicken legs.
381
00:16:21,681 --> 00:16:23,013
You guys saw those, right?
382
00:16:23,015 --> 00:16:25,283
Honey, it's not cheating
if I lie down on the bar
383
00:16:25,285 --> 00:16:26,450
and let Nick do a shot
from my belly button, right?
384
00:16:26,452 --> 00:16:27,485
Say what now?
385
00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:28,519
Barney's on board!
386
00:16:28,521 --> 00:16:30,655
Nick, hold on!
387
00:16:33,592 --> 00:16:35,860
Thanks for your
help today.
388
00:16:35,862 --> 00:16:37,695
Yeah, sure.
389
00:16:38,864 --> 00:16:42,366
Although, it, uh, kind of
sucked seeing how easy it was
390
00:16:42,368 --> 00:16:45,503
for you to throw away everything
from our relationship.
391
00:16:46,556 --> 00:16:49,891
I... I could never do that.
392
00:16:55,898 --> 00:16:58,232
622 West 14th Street.
393
00:17:02,938 --> 00:17:06,390
And so, Victoria and Iwere back where we started.
394
00:17:06,392 --> 00:17:10,361
But there was something Icouldn't get off my mind...
395
00:17:13,665 --> 00:17:14,916
I'll be right back.
396
00:17:18,003 --> 00:17:21,455
Uh, excuse me.
397
00:17:21,457 --> 00:17:23,257
Oh, hey, it's you.
398
00:17:23,259 --> 00:17:26,076
Ja, okay, I'm not sure
what kind of vibe
399
00:17:26,078 --> 00:17:27,762
I was giving off before,
but I am not interested
400
00:17:27,764 --> 00:17:28,763
in your schnitzel, okay?
401
00:17:28,765 --> 00:17:30,915
No, no, no, no, no-- God, no.
402
00:17:30,917 --> 00:17:33,384
I-I just have
one quick question:
403
00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:35,386
Victoria seems
like a great girl.
404
00:17:35,388 --> 00:17:38,356
Why wouldn't you
want to marry her?
405
00:17:38,358 --> 00:17:40,758
Ach, okay,
Victoria is wunderbar.
406
00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:42,760
I'm sorry, wunderbar is the
German word for wonderful.
407
00:17:42,762 --> 00:17:43,928
Yeah, no, I know.
408
00:17:43,930 --> 00:17:44,979
Oh, you speak German?
409
00:17:47,266 --> 00:17:48,282
No...
410
00:17:48,284 --> 00:17:49,901
No, no, no...
411
00:17:49,903 --> 00:17:52,320
No, just-just-just the one word.
412
00:17:52,322 --> 00:17:53,437
Oh. Oh.
413
00:17:53,439 --> 00:17:56,941
Ah... Okay, Victoria.
414
00:17:56,943 --> 00:18:00,544
There is a word in German:
Lebenslangerschicksalsschatz.
415
00:18:00,546 --> 00:18:02,079
And the closest
translation would be...
416
00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:05,549
"Lifelong Treasure of Destiny."
417
00:18:06,284 --> 00:18:08,285
And Victoria is wunderbar,
418
00:18:08,287 --> 00:18:11,172
but she is not my
Lebenslangerschicksalsschatz.
419
00:18:11,174 --> 00:18:13,507
She is my
Beinaheleidenschaftsgegenstand,
420
00:18:13,509 --> 00:18:14,892
you know?
421
00:18:15,594 --> 00:18:16,961
You know wunderbar
422
00:18:16,963 --> 00:18:18,596
but you don't know
Beinaheleidenschaftsgegenstand?
423
00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:20,765
That is something we
learn in kindergarten.
424
00:18:20,767 --> 00:18:22,733
I'm sorry, "kindergarten"
is the German word for--
425
00:18:22,735 --> 00:18:24,235
No, no, I know that one.
426
00:18:24,237 --> 00:18:25,653
Oh, okay.
427
00:18:25,655 --> 00:18:26,771
But you don't know
Beinaheleidenschaftsgegenstand?
428
00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:28,489
You are maddeningly
inconsistent.
429
00:18:28,491 --> 00:18:30,741
It means...
430
00:18:30,743 --> 00:18:34,912
"the thing that is almost
the thing that you want...
431
00:18:36,164 --> 00:18:37,915
...but it's not quite."
432
00:18:38,867 --> 00:18:41,035
Das ist Victoria to me.
433
00:18:41,037 --> 00:18:44,205
How do you know she's not
Lebenslangerschicksalsschatz?
434
00:18:44,207 --> 00:18:46,624
I mean, maybe as the years
go by, she'll get
435
00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:49,660
Lebenslangerschicksalsschatz
-ier.
436
00:18:49,662 --> 00:18:51,178
Oh, nein, nein, nein.
437
00:18:51,180 --> 00:18:53,497
Lebenslangerschicksalsschatz
is not something
438
00:18:53,499 --> 00:18:54,715
that develops over time.
439
00:18:54,717 --> 00:18:58,886
It is something thathappens instantaneously.
440
00:19:00,272 --> 00:19:01,605
It courses through you
441
00:19:01,607 --> 00:19:04,508
like the water of a riverafter a storm...
442
00:19:05,727 --> 00:19:08,696
...filling you and emptyingyou all at once.
443
00:19:17,456 --> 00:19:20,791
You feel itthroughout your body...
444
00:19:22,077 --> 00:19:25,746
♪ Coming up only ♪
In your hands...
445
00:19:25,748 --> 00:19:28,699
♪ To show you wrong ♪
in your heart...
446
00:19:28,701 --> 00:19:32,369
in your stomach...
447
00:19:34,423 --> 00:19:37,391
♪ And to know you is hard ♪
...in your skin...
448
00:19:37,393 --> 00:19:39,143
♪ We wonder ♪
449
00:19:39,145 --> 00:19:41,228
Of course you feel it in your
Schlauchmachendejungen.
450
00:19:41,230 --> 00:19:42,880
Pardon my French.
451
00:19:44,066 --> 00:19:45,766
Have you ever felt
this way about someone?
452
00:19:47,652 --> 00:19:49,236
Yeah, I think so.
453
00:19:49,238 --> 00:19:51,822
If you have to think about it,
you have not felt it.
454
00:19:51,824 --> 00:19:55,326
And you're absolutely sure
you'll find that someday?
455
00:19:55,328 --> 00:19:56,777
Of course.
456
00:19:56,779 --> 00:19:58,412
Everyone does eventually.
457
00:19:59,230 --> 00:20:02,450
You just never
know when or where.
458
00:20:02,452 --> 00:20:04,101
And he was right.
459
00:20:04,103 --> 00:20:07,237
Unfortunately, the "when"of it was still
460
00:20:07,239 --> 00:20:09,507
a little waysdown the road.
461
00:20:11,510 --> 00:20:12,910
But the "where" of it?
462
00:20:14,464 --> 00:20:16,597
♪ Really too late to call ♪
463
00:20:16,599 --> 00:20:21,352
♪ So we wait for ♪
464
00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:26,774
♪ Morning to wake you
is all we got ♪
465
00:20:26,776 --> 00:20:28,893
Yeah, there's your change.
466
00:20:28,895 --> 00:20:30,694
Oh, and don't
forget your guitar.
467
00:20:32,781 --> 00:20:40,704
♪ To know me as hardly golden ♪
468
00:20:42,741 --> 00:20:48,379
♪ Is to know me all wrong,
they warn ♪
469
00:20:51,466 --> 00:20:54,919
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
470
00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:57,922
♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh... ♪
471
00:20:57,924 --> 00:21:01,924
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
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