Original subtitles

And you may now kiss the bride a second time.

- Why not?

- You want to go for a third?

Hail, Guardian of the Redeemer.

To you...

Spouse of the Blessed Virgin Mary.

To you...

To... to you...

Your mom just wanted us

to chat, that's all.

See how you're doing.

Uh, we're fine.

I-I don't know what she wants from us.

I do.

Grandchildren.

Getting a lot of pressure for kids?

Define "a lot."

It's my mom. She's a bit high-maintenance.

Mm. Well, you, you have to set your boundaries.

You know, it's your home.

Hello?

Sister Andrea?

Can I help you?

Oh.

I'm sorry, Father.

I left something in here.

Please excuse me.

Oh, hello.

I know you two, don't I?

Yes, Sister Andrea. I'm Leo.

That's right. High school calculus.

You were terrible.

Guess what I'm doing now.

- Teaching calculus? - No, I-I'm a sound recordist.

But once I did have to use calculus.

Well, I'm very proud of you.

I'm Amalia.

Uh, Sister, remember the one that kept

smoking in the bathroom?

Sister? - Yes.

Yes, Amalia, yes.

Are you okay?

David, could I see you for a second?

- Now? - Yes.

I hope you're not holding my smoking against me,

Sister. I don't smoke anymore.

No, no, Amalia.

It's just a spiritual matter.

We'll be right back.

- There's a demon in there. - There's...?

- What does that mean? - It means

there's a demon in there between them.

It has its hands on their shoulders.

- I didn't see anything. - Because you're not as good.

Look at your feet.

What do you see?

My feet.

No. There's a trail

of slime here.

- Like a snail. - Are you sure?

Don't patronize me.

- What do you want me to do? - I want you to find out

what the issue is.

There's something possessed in their marriage.

They've only been married a week.

It doesn't matter if it's an hour.

Find out what the issue is.

- And if there's nothing? - Then I'm wrong, Father.

And I should just clean up your room.

Hi. Uh, Sister Andrea's here to take notes.

Uh, she's a valuable consultant on, uh...

marital issues.

I don't think

we really have any marital issues.

- We were just joking

- about our in-laws. - Yeah.

Is it an intimacy issue?

Fuck you.

If, uh, if you don't feel comfortable...

No, uh, it's not that.

You know

that we saved ourselves for marriage, Father.

Well, now...

now that we're married,

we're having... sexual issues.

Do you feel comfortable talking about it?

Or I could recommend

- a mental health professional. - No.

We don't want that.

Whenever we try

to be intimate...

We have a physical reaction.

- Like we're... - We're allergic to each other.

Uh, I break out, and I...

- My stomach. I-It's ridiculous. Okay.

This is sounding more like a medical condition,

not a spiritual one.

We have an assessor

- I could get a reference from. Actually,

Father, I think it's better if the Church

do a thorough assessment before recommending

- a doctor. - Sister, I-I disagree.

I-I think this is sounding more like a medical condition.

No. Leo, Amalia,

this allergic reaction that you have.

Do you have any premonition

- of something dark?

- What do you mean? - Yeah. What do you mean, bitch?

Do you have a sense in your marriage of something demonic?

Sister, perhaps we should talk about this later.

Leo. Amalia.

Show them.

Uh, that's why my mom wanted us to see you, Father.

She said that you deal with issues like these.

Issues like...?

This is what happened last time in bed.

Food allergy. I didn't do that.

I could feel fingernails clawing into me.

Uh... We had to stop.

- You don't have a pet? No.

And I didn't do it. It just suddenly appeared.

Help us, Father. We... don't know what's going on.

Is that even possible, that a marriage can be possessed?

Well, officially, it's diabolical oppression,

which is why we need you.

It might just be a psychological reaction to a new marriage.

Right, so I'd be there to see if it's just marital dysfunction?

Yes. They were virgins when they got married.

- Really? - So there could be

a therapeutic answer for their physical reactions.

What are their physical reactions?

- Hives. And nausea.

Well, that sounds to be expected, right?

Just one thing.

The hives are in the form of claw marks.

Okay. Um, tomorrow?

See you then.

So, um, the door to the master bedroom

would be right there?

And the master bathroom would be adjoining.

Uh-huh. And how long is all this gonna take?

Two or three months.

Okay, well, let me look at these overnight.

I do need an answer. I have other jobs.

And you will have an answer tomorrow.

I also do plumbing. You want me to take a look upstairs?

No, I've got someone.

You're making it unhappy.

Yeah, well, you're making me unhappy.

What did you guys put down here?

- A kid from school. - Yeah, but a short one.

What is that?

- It's a snake. - What does it do?

Don't you guys have homework to do or something?

Have you noticed you're not very magnificent lately?

Yeah, you used to think we were funny.

Yeah, well, you used to be funny.

Your shoes don't match.

Ben the Magnificent, you are falling apart.

Yeah, okay. You know what? I need to do this on my own.

Could you guys go away?

Whoa!

- How did that happen? - I think it was an alligator.

I told you it's haunted.

Okay, would you just shut up, please?

We are not supposed to say that.

What, "please"?

No.

I think that's why you're sad.

What?

You can't figure it out anymore.

Things have gotten weird. And you don't like it.

- Where'd you get all that? - From my psychology class.

It's called cultural derealization.

It's when you become depressed by how weird the world is.

Oh, my God. Are you hurt?

What is happening? I think you should...

This is getting dangerous.

I'm bad. I'm bad. I'm bad.

I'm bad. I'm bad.

I'm bad. I'm bad.

I'm bad. I'm bad.

I'm bad. I'm bad. I'm bad.

I'm bad. I'm bad.

I'm bad. I'm bad. I'm bad.

I'm bad. I'm bad.

I'm bad. I'm bad.

- Lexis? - I'm bad...

Hey, Mom.

- What were you doing? - Nothing.

No, you were chanting.

- Was it from Leland? - No, Mom, no.

And you got this out of my closet?

Lexis.

I told you about Leland. He's attacking this family.

No, this isn't about Leland, Mom.

- It's about Lynn. - What?

I told you that Lynn was dating Ren,

and I... look, I wasn't supposed to.

Wait, so Lynn made you wear this?

Yeah, but it was me. I wasn't supposed to tell you.

- What, the truth? - Yeah, but it's okay, Mom.

I don't mind... Mom!

Family meeting, downstairs, right now.

What did you do?

- No, you did something. - This is all your fault.

You ate all the cookies last night.

No, girls. Everyone just sit on the couch,

- normally for once. - Can I sit on the floor?

- Normal sitting. - My young body

- cannot fit on this couch. - Okay.

Remember when I told you I was gonna treat you like

- more mature girls? - Uh-huh.

So that's what we're dealing with right now.

What's this about?

That's from your closet.

- I didn't take it. - Why was Lexis wearing it

- while chanting? - What did you say to her?

No, this is not about Lexis, this is about us as a family.

Okay? Lynn, you're the oldest.

You're supposed to be setting an example.

Why are you punishing Lexis?

- I'm not punishing her. Hold on. - Yes, you are.

You told us, Mom, to support each other.

Family is more important than anything.

- Yeah, you said that... - And what Lexis did

hurt one of us. Me.

No, Lexis told the truth. She made you tell the truth.

But she did it because she wanted to hurt me.

I'm feeling a little attacked here...

Okay, quiet!

This is what we're gonna do.

Everybody be quiet until I talk.

- What's she gonna do, hit us? It's not even my fault.

- Like, Lexis told. - I didn't do anything wrong.

- Yeah, it's Lexis's fault. - Guys, can we just please

be quiet? I don't want to hear this.

- You said, you said... - Shut up!

- Quiet! - Her fault!

I'm creating a Ten Commandments for this family.

- What? - Ten rules

that must be followed, no matter what.

But the nuns say we have ten commandments already.

Yeah, but my girls aren't following them.

So this is the first one.

Thou shalt

not ever

lie to Mom.

Do we all understand that?

- Yes. - Yes. What?

Is it all right to lie to other people?

No.

What if we have Jews in our basement?

- Oh, my God. - Or Trump with immigrants.

- Yeah. - Okay, look,

as real as these examples are, we're just gonna

have to figure it out as we go.

Okay? But what's most important?

"Thou shalt not ever lie to Mom."

Very good. All right, number two.

"If Leland approaches you,

- tell Mom." - Beautiful.

Number three.

"Do not go into Mom's closet."

There are a lot of commandments about you.

Yeah, because until you're 18 and I kick you all out,

I'm the most important person here. Okay?

Uh, Mom, I think Ben needs our help.

Hey, stay. Which leads us to number four.

"Do not interrupt Mom."

Piece of shit.

Ben, are you okay?

No, I'm not.

While dollar bills are traded through a bank,

Makob is traded peer to peer.

Once you have Makobs, what can you do with them?

Spend them. More and more retailers

are accepting Makob as a method of payment.

You can purchase anything from computer parts,

toiletries to pet supplies.

In a global economy, Makob is the new frontier.

- Makob? What is that? It's a coin.

A cryptocurrency. Like Bitcoin.

Like Doge. Like Ethereum.

But this one is Makob, see?

It's real. It's solid.

And it's trading for $11.30 per coin.

That trades for eleven dollars?

No, it's like a billboard for the real thing.

The real thing is in here.

So, your goal this week is to get Makob

to trade for $135 per coin.

Wait.

$135 for what?

It's-it's not real.

- What is real? - I... Okay.

This desk, my purse, but not, but not that.

I can sell anything.

But if it's just there, uh, how do I do that?

That's up to you.

You have a team of 30 employees, all minimum wage millennials

with meaningless promises of stock options.

They all work for me?

They work for Makob.

And this is your executive assistant...

- Taylor. - Hello, ma'am.

- I'm Sheryl. Got to go.

Remember that moment in Working Girl

where Harrison Ford says, "Make me money

- or I'm gonna kill you"? - Mm, no.

Well, get Makob up to $135 or I'm gonna kill you.

Taylor will keep me posted on your progress.

So, Taylor, um,

why don't you call the team together and we can get...

Taylor?

- Taylor? - Okay, Boomer.

Um...

Hello, I'm-I'm Sheryl Luria.

And I know I-I'm new here, but...

Everybody, uh...

Sorry, I-I just need a minute, okay?

I-I just want to say there's-there's no

bad ideas here, all right?

I just want to hear your thoughts,

so why don't we all just gather into my office

- for a minute and... - It's okay. Just keep working.

Who are you?

The office manager.

The best thing for you to do is go back to your office

and do some online shopping and let us do your work for you.

Okay, Boomer?

Mr. Hurt to the rescue!

Come on, Ben. Answer the phone, or open the door.

I'm not leaving until you do one or the other.

- I've got two phones.

I'm calling all of yours.

- Go away, Karima. - Nope.

In fact, I know how to Skype you, too.

Oh, my God.

How many phones do you have?

As many as I need.

What's going on with you?

Nothing. It's called a siesta.

Your little Catholic friends called worried about you.

There's an exorcism or something they need you at.

Hmm.

Okay.

Hey! Oh, oh...

Okay, what the fuck?!

- Get up. - Why?

Because you're worrying me.

Look at yourself. You look depressed.

I am not depressed.

I was diagnosed as culturally derealized

by a bunch of 12-year-olds.

- Culturally... - Derealized.

It means disgusted with the insanity of reality.

- What insanity? - Um, the cases

that I have been trying to solve that don't make any sense.

Photos of angels, a soul-weighing machine,

my girlfriend with a twin attached?

I try to figure out these cases that don't make any sense.

And then we just move on to the next thing.

Okay.

Ben, sit down.

Actually, you know, I was sitting down.

- I was actually laying down. - Listen to me.

I'm taking you out tonight.

W-What? Where?

The Super Secret Science League. It's a group.

50 scientists and programmers who examine the world.

What the fuck are you talking about?

I'm inviting you. You need to talk to people

who talk your language, who aren't shoving

- angels and ghosts at you. - Super Secret what?

Science League. Ignore the name. We're voting on a better name.

Some people at work invited me, so I'm inviting you.

What is it, like, a Mensa thing?

No, these are actually smart people.

Tonight. I'm taking you.

You need a steadying influence.

I'll pick you up at 7:00.

Okay, and, um, you didn't live together before your wedding?

And how is that going?

Sharing space, being around each other more.

We both had roommates before.

College roommates. I had three.

So we're used to living with other people.

All right.

I'd love to try some role-playing,

if you're up for it.

Would you get up?

- Okay. - Sure.

This is gonna be good.

Face each other.

Who usually initiates sex?

Probably me.

Actually, I'd say equal.

Amalia, why don't you act out how Leo initiates sex?

Really? - Mm-hmm.

Oh... Uh...

Well, usually, uh, he gets this...

- look on his face.

Okay, okay, well, act it out. Bring him into it.

You did this.

Sister, can I help you?

No, David asked me to take notes.

Oh, I-I'm taking my own notes.

Leo, Amalia.

Hi.

Um, could I talk to you for just a minute?

Sister, uh, marital therapy is-is very sensitive.

Yes, and it seems to be going well.

Yes, but only if the subjects feel completely open.

Kristen, right?

Yeah.

I'm not here to undercut your therapy, ma'am,

but there's a spiritual component here that...

And I would agree, but the spiritual

needs to come after the pragmatic.

I hadn't finished.

There's a spiritual, and even supernatural component here.

That is how I can help you.

- Are you finished? - Yes.

Your, um...

- presence, ma'am... - Sister.

Your presence, Sister, is, um, well,

it's keeping these newlyweds from speaking honestly.

I mean, we are talking about sex,

and a nun's presence can keep these people

from-from speaking their minds freely.

- Let me be blunt, ma'am... - Doctor.

Doctor.

I can see something you cannot.

There is a demon between those two.

It's trying to possess them.

The good news here is that it's in pain,

and being diminished by your questioning.

How much are we speaking metaphorically?

I never speak metaphorically.

You need me in there, Doctor.

I can tell you when your therapy is diminishing a demon,

or encouraging one.

Okay, this is what I say.

If I feel like your presence is keeping these newlyweds

from speaking honestly, then I need you to excuse yourself.

I need you to agree with me.

I agree with you.

Good.

I know you both are religious, but...

you know, sex is just between the two of you.

If you think of it as something holy,

: it can smother desire.

This is blasphemy.

You're a fucking nun. Tell her.

You and I, we have business.

Bring it on.

Oh, my God, I need this.

- Don't leave, Rad-G. - I'm not going that far.

I found a house two blocks away,

and I expect you to come over every single day.

- Can I? - Well, just so you do,

I'm taking my book back.

What's that?

Ugh. That's the ten commandments.

Really? "Thou shalt not ever lie to Mom."

"Don't..." uh, wait, these are all from your mom?

Uh-huh. Want to see what we did?

Sure.

These are ourten commandments.

- You girls? - Uh-huh.

We decided we needed some other ones for school,

or else we'll get beat up.

Let's see.

"Don't hit first, but hit back."

- That's Lynn's. - No, it's good,

it should just be "hit back harder."

- Wow. Yeah. - Yeah.

Yeah. "Sisters before misters," love that.

- Love that. Um... - Mm. Yes.

"If you can't be popular, be scary."

Oh. I could actually use these at work.

- What's wrong with work? - Mm, same as at school.

There's a lot of bullying going on.

- Yeah, you should. - Mm-hmm.

This one's mine. - "Influence the influencers."

What the heck does that mean?

It's based on Malindaz.

You get popular and then no one can hurt you.

Hmm.

Who's Malindaz?

So, why me?

Because you're one of the top influencers.

And I need an influencer.

And what is this?

It's Makob.

The latest cryptocurrency.

I'm giving you a chance to get in on the ground floor.

It's the same thing Reese Witherspoon did with Ethereum,

or Paris Hilton.

And what do I get out of it?

20,000 Makobs.

No.

Look, it's, um...

it's like a stock option.

20,000 Makobs can mean everything

if you can get the value up.

Have you ever heard of the Fyre Festival?

- Yeah. - Well, a lot of influencers

got burned recommending a festival that was bullshit.

The only thing that made it worthwhile

is that they were given $50,000 to $100,000 up front.

You pay me $100,000, and I'll say whatever you want.

I'll give you $10,000 cash now and the rest after you say it.

This is the place. Science League.

Yeah, I'm getting a very high school virgin vibe.

Why are there so many dudes here?

Wait, is that why you come here?

Ben, stop it.

Oh, my God, are you husband-hunting in Nerd Narnia?

- Just give it a chance. - Okay, all right.

But if one person comes up to me and says any nerd cliche,

- I am... - Greetings, Earthlings.

- Whoa, what was that?

UAC! Put it on the board, sir!

New guys have to pass the test

to get into the Demo Club.

Okay, what's the test?

- You got to blow something up. - With what?

With whatever you can find in the kitchen.

You and your sister, you have three minutes.

Two thirty.

One minute.

Okay, here we go.

Oh, yes!

This is the asteroid Bennu.

And this is the NASA spacecraft OSIRIS-REx.

Now, what is odd is that NASA has discovered

that Bennu keeps spitting out rocks.

Some of the rocks Bennu spits out are hazards.

You were right about this.

I'm always right.

Ha, right. Fine.

Then help me.

Help me solve all the weird things

that have happened recently.

Sure. But listen to him.

There's an asteroid that spits out rocks.

And scientists have no idea why it's happening.

The orbit of Bennu is intrinsically...

Yeah, but that's not like demons.

I agree,

but still, as scientists, we have to acknowledge

when something is beyond our knowledge.

Yeah, but that's not the same as believing in God.

Allah?

Sure, Allah.

I don't believe in Allah. It's just true.

You don't believe in something that's true,

like the room you're standing in.

Okay, please, don't get all Socratic on me.

You don't believe that it's real, it just is.

Because I can see it.

Well, who's to say that's not a deepfake?

Okay. Okay, Karima,

please don't try to get me to believe in God.

Okay? Just help me.

Sure. I'll drop by.

Good.

Who entered a Name that Asteroid contest,

uh, run by the University of Arizona.

So, roughly 100 million miles from the Sun...

So the first color you should work with

from your eyeshadow palette is caramel blush.

And mix it with, like, a little bit of light latte.

And while you do that, I want to talk about

a cool new investment you should look at.

- Makob.

Bitcoin is for billionaires,

not working girls like us.

You want to get in on the ground floor

of a cryptocurrency, and trust me,

- it's Makob. - Rad-G.

You know who I fantasized about last night?

You.

You were so hot.

- Hey, Sister. Leo.

Amalia.

- It's not going well. - What's not?

Your counseling. The demon's larger. It's in control.

Sister, I... I need to do what I do.

I know, but do it better.

So, how did it go?

- Good... - Yeah?

I think.

Yes, uh...

we did everything just as you said.

So no more, um, hives or nausea?

Uh... no.

Okay, let me break this down.

The amount of time that you guys spent intentionally avoiding

physical intimacy has conditioned your bodies

to illicit this negative response.

Did you try the role-playing?

Yeah, but, um...

- It was...

Awkward. Just really weird.

Oh, weird's good.

I'd love to try one more thing, if you're open to it.

I'd like to split you two up.

If you wanted to be alone with me,

all you had to do was ask.

Don't flatter yourself.

What do you want?

I could never resist a nun's sexy ankles.

You know you're losing. So just lose.

- Mr. Townsend.

What is the issue today?

Sister Andrea.

And her health issues.

Amalia.

Our imagination is a really important tool

in figuring out what we want in bed.

I've never thought

- about another man in my life. I know.

I know, I know.

But sex is something you don't want to domesticate.

You want it to run wild.

- That's why I split you two up.

I want you to surprise each other.

I want you to stop thinking about God.

I want you to do what your body

wants you to do.

Leo, do you have a minute?

Sure.

Congratulations, influencees.

Not only do you look great... And I love that shade

of lipstick, by the way... But you're rich!

If you got in on the ground floor with Makob,

it has gone from ten dollars

to $27!

- That's right. - Oh, my God.

If you invested just, like, $500

with Makob... and if you didn't, I feel sorry for you...

You are now worth...

$10,000!

Yes! Yahoo!

Oh, yeah!

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

- Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. - Are you okay?

Taylor. How are you?

- I'm good, ma'am. How are you? - Good.

Did you get the chocolates I sent you?

I did. They're very good.

Congratulations, by the way.

Thank you. Bobby!

Get in here. Now.

- Move it.

Close the door.

Taylor, um, it's a new day,

and your services will no longer be needed here.

Okay. Well, I'm not resigning,

- and you can't fire me. That's true.

Leland did put you at that desk to spy on me,

but here's the thing...

And, Bobby, I want you

to pay close attention.

I checked your entrance interview,

and you're allergic to Brazil nuts.

And you know what?

There was some in that chocolate I gave you.

No. No, no, no, no.

I-I, uh, I took it. Your epinephrine.

- No, no. No, no, no.

Here is a resignation letter,

- Taylor.

Before your little throat swells up

and you choke on your own vomit,

- I would sign it.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Sign it.

Good girl.

No. No, no, no. I insist

on seeing you out. Let's go, let's go.

- Shoo.

Thank you for your service.

Your security card will be deactivated,

and your belongings will be mailed

to your home address.

Oh,

I know. It must be so hard.

I get emotional, too. Just try not to panic.

Everyone has their weaknesses, Bobby.

Don't make me find yours.

Yes, ma'am.

Now get back to work.

Faster, you fucking millennial.

Oh!

So, what do you think?

I think

I desire you.

And I do you.

Say it.

- I just did. - No. You said,

"And I do you."

Say it.

I want you.

Ow!

What?

Say it.

I want...

to fuck you.

Ow!

- I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

What? Amalia, I'm sorry. I-I thought...

Fuck me now or I'll kill you.

I want you so much.

Prove it, fucker.

Okay. All your nonsense,

all the nonsense you're getting from your religious coworkers,

I'm gonna solve with you.

The two of us.

And anything we can't solve,

we're taking to the Secret Science League.

You know why?

- Why? - Because this is what I believe.

Everything that God has given is solvable.

So, what do you got first?

Hey, guys.

What's up?

Hey.

Did you do something to yourself?

You seem to have a lot more...

something.

Oh.

Hanging around with new people, new places.

Doing new things.

Boom!

- "Boom"? Yeah.

Boom.

Come on.

It's like

a huge weight's been lifted from our shoulders.

That's great. Ben can look over your house

and make sure there's no toxicity.

No, we're good. Your suggestions of fantasizing

- really worked. - I'm so glad.

That's great.

Are you sure?

Yes, we are, Sister.

Leave us alone, Sister.

We're happy, the three of us.

I'm glad you came in.

- I'm glad it worked out. - It did.

Thank you, Kristen.

- You're so welcome.

You asked to see me, Monsignor?

Yes, Sister.

I expect you'd like me to shut the door.

Please.

If you would...

Have you been feeling all right lately?

I've been feeling like I always have.

Perfectly fine.

Has the Mother Superior said something

- about my work? No.

But you've been observed lately

acting in a manner that may suggest ill health.

Really?

In what way?

I don't mean any disrespect, Sister, but I have noticed

an unsteadiness of gait.

: And of hand.

That time when you were serving the monsignor and myself

and you accidentally poured tea in my lap.

There is

an accelerating forgetfulness.

Understandable as time takes its toll.

What is most concerning of all,

others, like me, have witnessed an unsettling tendency

toward hallucination.

What others?

It is only out of concern

that we feel compelled to point out what we have seen.

Thank you, Sister.

- You may return to your duties. I'm not to be

- permitted to defend myself? There's no need

to defend yourself, Sister.

We are all part of God's community.

- You're excused.

I think it's better if I stay.

No. But thank you.

David, do you mind closing the door?

And, Leland, do you mind stepping out, too?

Are you sure?

Yes. I just need a moment.

I'll make this brief. There have been reports

that Sister Andrea is in declining health.

Declining? How?

Some physical but also cognitive.

The worry is...

liability.

I work closely with the sister.

No, David, I don't need to hear from you.

I know you two are friends. In fact,

do you mind stepping out, too?

Are you sure, Monsignor?

Yes, David. Please.

In terms of any mental issues, Ms. Bouchard,

I'm anxious to hear what you've observed.

I'm hearing that Sister Andrea

is talking to imaginary figures.

Is that true?

No, not at all.

She's been good.

Thank you for your help, Sister.

You're welcome,

Doctor.