Original subtitles

When you go to the haunted house at Camden Park...

You don't know what will happen.

Camden Park!

National Retail Federation does a poll

and they say 21% of the people,

that's 30 million people a year,

are gonna go to haunted houses.

For a actor in a haunted house

there is no bigger rush than getting a great scare.

And it could be the biggest, baddest guy in class that comes through

that you give that to.

One year, I think they had, like, close to 1,200 scare-outs,

where people walk in the door and halfway through they said,

"I can't do this anymore, I'm out, I want out."

Oh...!

- I love Halloween. - Really?

If I can get you to scream, then I feel great.

Yeah, I've heard rumors of people doing things like that.

Yeah. - Supposedly hiring, you know, actual...

You know, murderers or something to work in their haunts.

Things like that, it's all talk sometimes.

There really is. I'll show you. Inside the house,

there's real human remains

inside the haunted house.

Some of the actors that we have are, they're pretty far out there.

Would it surprise me if something happened?

No.

A Missouri house of horror became a reality.

Police report that a 17-year-old employee...

The owner said customers

walked by her thinking it was part of the show.

I do not want you all filming in here.

Tonight a 28-year-old registered sex-offender

was arrested at his work place,

a Halloween haunted house.

There was a scare actor that was employed,

slashed his whole damn family...

Father and mother and sister,

in real life.

Get her in the trunk.

This place is great.

- Dude! - What's up, man?

Good to see you.

Hi!

What's up, brother?

How you all been?

- Bobby? - Yes.

Mike, You've already taken over?

How do you feel that I...

How do you drop five minutes in the trip?

How do you feel about me being the better looking brother?

- Zack? - Yo.

- What's up? - If he's with us on this trip I will kill myself.

Tell me about yourself and what are we doing?

Zack, I'm talking to you.

I think she's transfixed by Jeff.

You want my name? My name is Zack.

You've known me for 20 years, Mikey.

We've rented an RV. We're going across...

Well, the point is I want to find the most

extreme haunted house in the world.

Lady's gonna teach him how to line dance.

- Congratu-fucking-lations. - Hey, hey, hey.

Tell me about you, Brandy. - Uh...

My name is Brandy Catherine Shaefer.

Jeffery Bernard Larson.

Jeffery Bernard Larson. Remember that.

All right, Bobby.

You're my big brother.

I'm the one who went to film school,

so I deserve to carry this camera for a bit.

- You didn't graduate.

Did you?

This is where I wanna go.

Yeah, but this is just a clip of a girl being strapped.

Did you watch the video?

No.

You're not gonna like it.

I'm pretty sure it's not that scary if it's on the World Wide Web.

Mike, so you're down now?

Yeah, I'm in, man, like they said there...

I've heard people talk about the ones that in New York,

they zip tie you to a chair... Stop it.

Bags over the head, that kind of thing. That's a different story.

It's just like the movies, it's like... It's the same thing.

It's changed. Jaycees haunted house is in the '60s.

You walk around and guys jumped out and said, "Boo."

That doesn't cut it anymore.

When you were little, going through haunted houses

you didn't know if it was real or not, right?

That element, what that feels like, I wanna find it again.

Be on time to the RV.

Everyone's looking at Mikey.

I was staring in this direction. Be on time.

All right. Cheers!

Happy Halloween!

First night to the haunted house.

Put me down.

What are you guys up to?

We're going to as many houses as we can all across America.

Where the hell did you get that?

Motherfucker!

Is there anything that's even scared you?

I remember a haunt I went to probably three, four years ago.

There was a guy on the floor, he was munching his teeth at me.

And I looked at him and he had entrails behind him.

So he was a paraplegic they hired.

He was real fast on his hands and I thought that was the most

scariest thing I've ever seen.

So how do you find people?

A lot of people are word of mouth

and a lot of people have worked for us for many years,

and they bring their friends

and then we also put ads in the Greensheet

and the local newspapers.

And we try to recruit that way too.

Do you do like a background check on people?

You know currently we do not do a background check.

But we're looking into doing that in future.

- Fuck, bro! - Come on man.

What the fuck are you doing here?

Why didn't you just call me?

What are you doing here?

I went out last night. Had a good time.

Then I came here on time.

You've never been on time for a fucking thing in your life.

Now I'm on time 'cause I was here hours before.

Just be quiet.

Why do I need to be quiet?

I need you serious, from here on out.

Gonna be serious from... In about a minute from now.

Why in a minute?

Say hi.

- Hi. - Hi.

High-five?

Why is it upside down now?

Flip it.

We gotta get some fucking food, man.

I want coffee.

- Morning.

Ladies.

What's up, son?

- Hi! - Haunted houses.

How are you already here?

You told the bartender, the cab driver,

the guy behind the hotel...

We're all going on a road trip. Who cares?

Yeah. Road trip.

And then, dude, and then you got a fucking pumpkin

and tried to stick your dick in it.

Yeah. You did a little American Pie,

Halloween's style.

Zack, I want to be there to help you out on this situation but you did.

- I'm sorry, I have rolling... - Zack's version...

But I doubt that I did that.

Yo pumpkin pie.

How're you feeling today?

Like angels and sunbeams and unicorns.

- You look it.

Just check it out. I got part of the fridge

that's just gonna be Jeff's healthy stuff.

All right, so you guys know.

You're an idiot.

I will eat of your healthy stuff for the whole trip in one night after drinking.

Why do you need seven cameras?

Why? 'Cause I wanna document it all.

You ready to go? All right, let's go to it. All right team on three. Boom!

- Jeff, Jeff. - What?

You're never ever gonna get laid if you do things like that.

- You excited?

I'm excited. These are always...

I never know what I'm getting myself into

when we start off,

but I always have a good time by the end of it.

So I'm definitely excited.

Zack said you were a little nervous.

I know I tend to be jumpy

as a person, so...

Couple that with the fact that I haven't

been to a haunted house in probably...

I don't even know how many years, since I was eight or nine.

I kinda don't really know how I'm gonna react

or what it's gonna be like or...

I think haunts have come a long way.

...since you were eight or nine years old.

See, as long as you give me that in the houses, we're good.

Why don't you tell us more about

your little kid experience going through a haunted house.

Um... Well, I assaulted a scare actor,

when I was a child.

Guy jumps down from a tree

and I'm so petrified, I don't...

My bodily reaction is just to punch him in the gut.

When the lights are going like this and you're so disoriented,

the guy actually it seemed like he jumped

straight back up into the tree almost like he had like a...

Seven foot vertical.

Probably 'cause I was like 3'7" at the time.

I'm assuming they've come a long way since we were kids.

Well, I mean, I should hope so.

'Cause I like the only haunts I've ever been to

are the ones at theme parks or something like that,

where the scariest thing is somebody running up to you

while you're waiting in line for a hotdog or something.

I promise you they're not gonna be like that.

All right.

We're gonna be out in the country, there's gonna be no rules,

o regulations. - Mmm-hmm.

I don't know how this sounds like a good thing.

This is always what you wish.

There's gonna be no rules, no regulations.

You don't even know where we're going.

I'm feeling kinda bad for all these bugs on the windshield.

You're a pacifist for bugs?

I felt bad 'cause there were

a few butterflies that hit the windshield too.

I'd like to know where we're...

Settle down. I've got something planned for everyone.

You have it all planned out.

You know exactly where we're going?

I know exactly where we're going.

Let's get directions. No way he's guiding this fucking ship.

It's not organic.

I'm still making pancakes so...

This thing is sweet, I don't know why.

Paddle.

Hey, man, do you know how to get to the haunt house?

Are you all sure you wanna go there?

Mikey, stop screwing around.

- We can't find the exit. - We're just lost.

Yeah? All right. You go down the road right here about five miles.

It'll be in the forest on the left hand side. Mike, let's go.

- I want this. - You're not buying that.

- Thank you so much. - Let's go.

Hey, guys, we got...

- You know where it is? - Yeah.

It's five miles up the road.

Getting antsy over there, Jeff?

No, I'm just, you know, jumping to my own beat. You know?

Just jump... Jumpin' to my beat.

- You know, I hope everyone... - Jumping to his own beat.

I might just rap for you later.

One celebratory shot on the road.

That's what last night was.

Yeah, but now we're like

"on the road", on the road.

I'll drink if Jeff does.

Air shots?

Dude you look like you're jerking off an elephant.

Jeff, I heard that you have a poem.

The... Oh, the poem.

I don't know if he can read it.

I can't read it while I'm...

I can read the poem.

I wanna read it. I haven't read it.

"I am poem."

I gotta listen to this.

"I am Job."

You hear that, the first line.

"I'm a swell guy who eats strawberries.

"I wonder if demons even inhabited the earth.

"I hear angels crying in my

"brain?"

"In my barn."

"Barn." In my what?

"I touched the roughness...

"The roughness of Bigfoot's arm."

No transition, nothing.

Mikey, it's called art.

I'm so excited.

This is the first night.

These haunt owners have forums, chat rooms.

They put up these pictures.

Dude, there's some crazy shit that goes on there.

You're in, you could park up there.

Are you the sheriff of the town?

- Am I? - Yeah.

No, I'm just security.

Oh, okay, okay.

I wish I was sheriff.

Awesome.

Hello!

- Cool. - Haunt house.

Let's do it.

Let's get scared.

Let's get scared.

You didn't do that.

I will finally make you get in a coffin, look.

Let me the fuck out of here!

You're such a dick.

You know I'm claustrophobic.

We can go in now?

You coming?

Shit! Didn't even get in the door yet.

Got you.

Mikey? I can't see shit.

- Bobby?

What the fuck?

Where the hell are we?

Even the music is creepy.

So weird.

What the fuck?

Come play with me.

Follow her.

Get the fuck down! Fuck!

You wanna be a pretty doll like me?

Oh, shit! What was that?

Bobby, don't go over there.

- Ashes! - What is going on?

Ashes!

We all fall down!

Get the fuck out of here!

Come back here. I'm not done with you yet.

They just love to run you out of those places with chainsaws.

Bob, did you like it?

I don't give a shit about this place. I wanna talk to these people.

What's goin' on? How are you?

Pretty good.

Uh, do you care if we ask you some questions?

Sure.

So my friend here thinks that, uh,

shady shit goes on in these places. What do you think?

I can probably say I agree with that.

I would think it just be fun to work here.

It is fun. It's interesting.

It's definitely different.

How so?

Bob, Bob, Bob, let's go on the roof.

There's a ladder right over there.

You will never be able to get on the roof.

We can film over like that.

There's a ladder at the back.

Okay.

Mikey, when you get up there,

- do the fucking Almost Famousthing. - What is that?

Stop being so fucking paranoid.

- Oh, shit!

There's a shit ton of people down there, man.

Happy Halloween, guys! Yay!

Whoo! Whoo!

They're not fucking happy, Mike.

Go. Get out of here. Go, go.

- Mikey? - What?

Be quiet...

Mikey, let's go. Now!

Take your hoodie off, son.

Take your hoodie off.

- Where ya goin', boy?

Well it's the first night and you've

already pissed off all the haunt workers.

So good one, guys.

What's the scariest part?

I mean creepy guy one, creepy girl two...

I like the bush, like the...

There was this weird part,

where we had to wait because people would be...

Mike, are you sleeping already?

Before you went through the back...

The guy was in camo, and he jumped out of the rose bush...

I need you to show me the side...

Mike, that's that clown.

Bobby, what are you talking about?

Dude tried to break my camera.

He seems really pissed.

Can we just go? This guy is weirding me out.

Am I good on that side? Can I?

Get the fuck outta here.

Did you all here that?

Shit!

What the fuck?

Hello?

- Shit!

Jesus!

- Jesus!

You fucking kidding me?

You asshole.

You literally shit in your pants. Come on, man.

Oh, my God! I wish the camera could have seen you face.

- I'm too overweight for this. - I'm gonna have a heart attack.

How far will you go to scare people?

Uh...

Perhaps to the point of...

They won't let us touch 'em or bash 'em over

the head and drag 'em off anywhere,

so I have to kinda stop at that point.

I heard of, uh,

a in New Orleans doing a lot of weird crazy stuff but,

I have never been to one that really does that.

Thank goodness! That's invading my territorial bubble.

I tend to freak out if you try to tie me up.

I grew up with three sisters. They always tied me up and did things to me

and I don't... Yeah, I don't... Yeah.

No, I wouldn't go for that.

No, not completely naked...

I have, like, you know,

a little bathing suit on and whatever,

and the whole rest of my body was blue.

I had weird ears and a tail and everything like that.

Most Zack's ever done is

done a white sheet over his head and two black holes.

Wasn't he like a muscle man one year?

I highly doubt it.

I was the Shake Weight.

That's what he was, he was a Shake Weight.

The Shake Weight guy.

Don't ever do that again.

So gross.

Okay.

Okay, I'm just reading this tweet, okay.

"They say penis size is related to shoe size,

"which makes the fear of being raped by a clown that much scarier."

Give me some of those.

I will trade you...

...my chocolate

for one of these. Bro, look at your eyes.

I can't help it. I gotta take a piss.

But there's a fucking lineup for the bathroom.

Now I'm residual high.

From your cigarettes.

- I like that trade.

Right. When do you think you're gonna tell us where we're going?

It's gonna be a shit show

when we go on this haunt tonight.

It's all his fault.

I didn't know you couldn't handle smoking weed.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! He is still crying.

You really think it's a good idea

for you walk through any of these haunts?

I've got a few hours.

Yeah, fucked up?

You're gonna be a train wreck.

It's his fault.

I don't care whose fault it is,

we've got to be there in two hours.

This place is very creepy.

I'm scared, you're scared, we're all scared.

And then we can get...

You sound like, "You scream, I scream, we all scream for ice cream."

You have any?

Brandy, what are you most afraid of?

- I have a fear of snakes. - Me too.

I guarantee you snakes are...

I hate 'em. They don't move right.

They're just unnatural. I'm not a fan at all.

I met a chick once and when we came back to her place,

and she had a fucking python, like, as a pet.

And she just pulled it out.

She'd come home drunk and pulled it... I'm like, "Ahh!

"This is never gonna work."

I'm gonna put you in a coffin and then

put snakes in the coffin, would you do it?

No, absolutely not. I will not...

How much would we have to pay you?

For $1,000 would you get in the coffin?

For $5,000 I would.

Coffin, cut a hole at the bottom and send snakes through it.

Are they poisonous? Can you guarantee they're not poisonous?

Yes, they're poisonous.

These are big boy seats.

Bobby what was that thing

you were just saying about me just a couple of minutes ago?

I don't recall.

Well, I'll just lead you in and remind you...

- We're lucky to have you - ...and refresh your memory.

We're lucky to have you.

Yeah, say that one more time. Hold on.

- Brandy, we're... - Hold on.

And... Go!

Brandy, we're lucky to have you here.

Yeah, that's right.

How do you feel about that, Mike?

About what?

I wouldn't call you a sister I never had.

Just in case we ever get naked.

Already had her.

- Already had her. - Never gonna happen.

We made out on a roof top, kind of one time when we were 16.

There was actually no making out.

We didn't make out,

it was just like heavy petting. It was weird.

Zack, is there like a trailer for this haunt?

Like, did they make a commercial?

Yeah I was trying to show Brandy but she just freaked out.

Why don't any of these haunts make commercials?

I don't see commercials do ya?

Asshole!

Are you fucking kidding me?

We're gonna be in the... Driving the scares in the zombie paint ball.

Jeff, did you hear that?

It's gonna be awesome.

Can't wait.

Now, do the zombies have guns?

Are we out in the forest paint balling?

I don't know...

Have you ever seen a zombie shoot a gun?

No, I've never seen...

Has it ever happened in cinema history?

No, but... I don't know.

Are they gonna shoot back at us though?

All head shots, right, Jeff?

Zombie 101.

Hey, we have time.

You guys wanna pull over and have drinks first?

All alone now.

Nature.

Somebody was here before us.

Yeah.

Yeah, they said it was okay to camp over here.

I mean, it just went out.

- Got any wood? - Not a big camper...

Were you a Brownie?

- Yep. - I ate a brownie once.

Really?

How do you know... That's a beautiful fire.

Have you ever camped in your life?

Nope, not when I stay at Motel 6.

Hey, more beer.

That's not why I'm on this trip.

We don't have marshmallows?

No.

No, it's for you.

Drink it, drink it. Drink it, Bran.

Don't waste it.

Yuck!

It was just the foam, that's so gross.

So this is a rap I wrote this morning.

"Livin' in a barn is the life for me.

"Green hill farm is the place to be.

"If you pee on a fence and you hate your wiener,

"don't be looking at my turkey 'cause he ain't for dinner.

"4:00 a.m. and the cows get up.

"No desert till you crush that sauerkraut.

"Got a barn full of hay,

"A fire with some s'mores,

"Mom yelling 'Chickens, chores!'

"Ain't no arcade till that shit gets shoveled.

"What you lookin' at, fool? This is life in a bubble."

That's from Ohio right there. - Yeah.

- We know. - Straight up.

Shampoo conditioner.

Beard repair.

Uh...

What's that goes underneath my skin? Beard oil.

What's beard repair?

Repairs you do like once every three days.

- Those are all flammable. - You know that, right?

- Hello. - Huh? Fuck!

- You all enjoying my fire? - Jesus.

Holy shit, man.

So, what the hell you doin' out in the woods?

I live out there.

- Which haunt do you work at? - The one down the road?

Yeah.

Yeah, we're goin' there next, I think.

Yeah.

We see a bunch of kids at a lot of these haunts,

'cause no one's calling Social Services on 'em.

They're like eight, nine years old.

You know, it's like here in backwoods and shit,

there's no rules, there's none of that stuff.

What you mean "backwoods"?

If that dude is still at our campfire when we go back, I'm out.

I hope they shoot you with a paint ball.

Hey, this place is putting my Presidential stimulus plan in action.

Do you want the camera? Can you come over here now?

Hey, do you...

Can we film in here?

All right, awesome.

I prefer to call it a zombie stimulus plan.

- Brandy thinks it's a laser.

- I'm really excited. - That's ridiculous.

How long have you guys been doin' the zombie paintball?

This is our first year.

- First year? - Groundbreaking!

Wow!

Well, I'm gonna tell everybody I know, just so you know.

Seven more people are going to find out.

He has seven Facebook friends.

I don't think I hit anything. Get closer.

So, how can you do that? How can you do that?

Put these on.

All right, guys, getting into dead territory over here.

Oh, fuck, look at that face.

Man, I'm gonna crush this guy. There he is.

- Get that one.

Get it, get it, get it.

Oh, shit!

Yeah, you bitches! Fucking die!

Hey, Mikey, did that hit you?

Yeah. Right in the face, dude.

Power of Christ compels you!

That was awesome.

That was the most fun I've had in forever, that was so cool.

Zack, I will do whatever you wanna do.

Thank you.

Hey! I want that written down and documented.

Jeff said, "I will do whatever you want on this trip."

Whatever, this is like the most fun ever.

What did you think, mate?

Banging around.

- I'll fix it. - RV is breaking down.

I'm going to be banging around back there soon

with a zombie.

Bang around and go to fucking bed.

That joke is never going to die.

I think let's pull over.

Keep going.

What the fuck is that?

Hey, guys.

Is that the girl from the haunt?

We're 100 miles from there, there's no way that's her.

Stop. Pull over in front of her.

- Oh, my God. - Why?

What, are you going to talk to her or something?

Stop. Pull over. Just pull up.

I'll go talk to her. Trying to be the hero?

Well, I'm not trying to be a...

Real, genuine, Texan.

Why does your brother do this?

Also 3:00 in the morning.

Oh! There goes your brother.

She didn't really say anything.

Mikey, what's going on?

I don't know.

She just kind of followed me in here.

Something happened to your car?

Can you call somebody or something?

Is there anywhere we can take you?

What the fuck was that?

Getting the fuck out of here.

She was just fucking with us. Let's go.

It was okay, but it was too scary for me.

- It was good. - Yeah?

It was a good little scare.

The scariest thing is when the walls open up

and they come out from the walls.

You don't even see 'em 'cause they look like the walls.

There's all blood gushing everywhere.

I was like, "Oh, my gosh".

It was like, "Get me out of this damn place".

Because I was scared he had a chainsaw!

That's what I'm looking for.

This lady, uh-uh.

She wants the, "Ooh, all scary. Oh, my God." No.

We want the real stuff, the Faces of Death stuff.

Your community service was working at a haunted house?

For real, for real.

Okay, see, now that, had I known that first,

- that'd make it scarier going in. - Yeah.

Let's do it.

Is everybody else up?

Uh, I don't know.

Mikey's definitely not.

I think I nudged him, like, five times.

Does it have to be like this every morning?

I need eight minutes to totally get ready.

I'll be fine. You get ready.

The last night was really weird.

- Yeah, you made it weird. - You brought her in here.

Oh, man, I didn't think that was going to happen, it was just...

It's kind of weird. It's almost like they're fictional characters.

- You know what I mean? - Yep.

So funny.

I mean, I guess not really funny.

Bob, what exactly are you looking for on this?

I mean these... You keep saying back country.

I mean, that's...

Where these hillbillies...

Some of them are a little messed up.

These places though, it's like,

we have this password we have to find for this.

They say "blue skull, blue skeleton."

But there's something to blue because people keep using it.

And it was in Dallas, then it was in Houston.

And so it moves around.

So it's not as much about backwoods

as we're going to have to go to the backwoods to find the password.

But the place, it seems like...

"Is this the haunt hole?"

What is an extreme haunt?

Instead of them chasing you with a chainsaw with no chain on it,

they're going to chase you with the chain on it and like...

I don't understand how far...

Like, how far you really can go on without hurting somebody.

- But that's where... - Oh, shit.

You need to get out, and we need to check with...

Guys, where in the hell is this place?

I want to say it's further away than you think,

but, Todd says, "Are we lost?"

Look at this place.

Can I even fit, Zack, is this...

Can you even get in here?

Going to have to make it work.

Oh, my God.

Can you try not to run over any more children?

All these people are already outside.

It's actually kind of cool to get here early and see

like, they're, like, being real people.

Oh!

This place is a shit hole, Bobby.

In the middle of bumfuck nowhere.

His back was enough for you, Bobby?

These are your people, farm boy.

That's right, dude. - It looks like high school kids made this.

- What up? - What?

I couldn't even go. Let's go. We're going to...

What so you mean... Let's go.

The line was ridiculous.

Why are you waiting in line? We're in the middle of a fucking forest.

Go piss in the bushes.

Holy shit.

Dude.

Nice costume.

Jesus!

Okay.

Holy shit.

What the hell, man?

Leave me alone.

Don't!

Why the fuck are you following me?

Oh, fuck.

Get the fuck away.

Oh, fuck!

Please, what do you want?

What the fuck is wrong with you?

What the fuck?

Jesus. Not even a haunt yet.

Zack?

Yo.

What are you doing, man?

Hey, guys! How's it going? What's your name, buddy?

Hi, Mikey. How are you doin'?

What's the camera for? Are you guys doing Crimestoppers

or Cops or something?

We're doing To Catch a Predator.

To Catch a Predator?

I gotta go.

Watch out, where're you going, you piece of shit?

Ooh. Oh, I like big, fuzzy bears.

Ooh.

Oh! Always touch the beard.

Always touch the beard.

I feel so violated right now.

Zack, watch the light.

Trying, dude. Go ahead of us.

Break out! Break out!

Come on!

Zack?

Where did you go?

Wait, where are you?

Which way?

That's disgusting.

Brandy, you all right?

Please!

No, no! Let me go, please.

Let me out. Let me out.

Let me out!

Please, let me go!

Ed, shut the fuck up!

This is so fucked up.

You want a piece of her, boys?

Zack, I don't think we're supposed to go in here.

Zack! Don't go...

Don't go.

I'm just here for your father.

Get that thing out of here!

Get out of here!

Guys, let's get out of here!

Get the fuck out of here!

He's still behind you!

Walk, walk, walk. He's still following us.

Zack!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, God!

What's going on?

Oh, shit!

Back up, back up, back up, back up!

Shit.

Zack, let's go. Let's go.

Zack, let's go! Let's go! Fuck! Come on!

There you are, fucking sucker! Yeah, take it!

Take it! Take it!

Good morning.

Brandy.

You're gonna die.

- Brandy. - Walk away.

Brandy.

It's time to play!

Get the fuck away from me!

Oh, shit!

Die! You're gonna die!

I think it's a little weird that they knew my name.

Someone probably told them to say that to freak you out.

Wait, what?

- Why didn't you say anything?

Honestly, because you guys get so scared about everything.

I wanted to make sure you could go through the haunt.

Zack's the one...

- Yeah. - I don't know.

Ask them.

Zack, where we going tomorrow?

Have you told him?

It was a haunted house down in the south somewhere.

I don't know if it was in Alabama or wherever it was on.

We have a forum, chat room, for haunted house owners.

And, uh, there was a, um...

A younger kid that was in a scene, where it was a hanging scene,

and he had replaced the breakaway noose

that was in the scene with his own,

but he accidentally hung himself.

Um, and it was part of the show.

And by the time they were able to take care of the situation...

I mean, he was already dead.

This was, like, in a haunted house?

This was in a haunted house while the haunted house was open.

...or should I get Skittles?

This is all garbage food, all garbage food.

Or should I get Sour Patch Kids?

Yeah, I don't think any of your...

Or should I get a big pickle?

So, are we off the 20?

What is a good name

- for a city? - Where's the haunt?

What city is the haunt in?

That is not what I know.

Not our job. Not our job.

Look how creepy...

Look how creepy this is.

- I love this. - What the hell is that?

And he's combing his hair?

We're going to find these places that...

I don't know what goes on if they

use real body parts or whatever.

Real body parts, that doesn't scare me, though, like...

I'm not going to know the difference.

If a real human leg...

But I won't know if it's a real human leg

or it's a fake human leg, so it's not...

That doesn't bother me because I don't know the truth anyway.

What someone's idea of what scary is,

is totally different to somebody else.

Is it dressing up the walls, with blood dripping off and all that stuff?

I don't need all that.

Mine's more like, real shit, dark.

I don't know where I'm going, I don't know what's happening.

The intricate details to me isn't that big of a deal.

Where are you going?

Why do you care?

Who you talking to?

Chantelle.

Yeah, I got something good for him.

All right. All right.

This is Mikey's surprise, give him a clue.

I did. You gotta think about it.

I mean, think about the theme of this trip.

Think about some place Mikey loves and just combine the two.

Dude, it's like some Halloween theme thing.

Mikey, are you into weird stuff?

Absolutely, but I don't know if they're gonna let us go in there.

Oh, hold on. Look what he's...

Yes. How old is that lady?

50-year veteran stripper.

Jeffrey, is this your first time?

No... Yeah, my first year out of Florida.

Look at all that.

Insert them in, or... Okay.

All my research pays off on haunted houses and strip clubs.

All right, let's have some fun. Love it.

Brandy, you ready?

I mean, get crazy, like, let's get nutty.

Yeah!

Getting some!

Come on, honey...

This is kind of hot.

Very exotic.

Zombie strippers? Are you fucking kidding me?

All right!

Whoo-hoo!

Fuck Christmas, this is Halloween!

And then Jeff with four girls, dude.

I mean, Jesus, he almost swallowed a tit.

I thought it was going to kill him.

I think she really liked me.

- Look at your jeans, man. - A little extra starch.

You guys are fucking disgusting.

Come out!

Be a part of this. Come on.

Ahhh!

Are you coming or not?

Can we just roll through,

just taking a couple snap pictures?

No. No, you can't do that.

You can't have any cameras, no pictures. I'm sorry.

This one's free.

Dude, you can't do that shit in San Antonio.

Tell him about that thing in Louisiana.

Hey, I heard about something in Louisiana.

So, outside of it, like, would you guys go out after you get off work?

Um, some of us do.

I'm just... I'm bored...

Doin' this.

Dude, it was crazy, dude.

What?

What, did you guys pay money to do it?

Yeah, it's like a tour, like San Antonio... It's like...

Have you ever made out with guys,

like, in the haunt, all dressed up?

o. - Never?

- No, I have never made out with anybody at the haunt. - No.

- You never... - It's like kissing my brothers.

Um...

Is it... Is it...

Is it something skeleton or skull, we heard?

- Yeah. - That's what it's called?

Yeah, something like blue skeleton.

Have you ever hooked up with make-up on?

Uh, no. No, actually, never.

- Seems hot. - No, because, they're...

You guys have to tell me about this.

Okay. See, I'm with all this group of people,

and they're, like, getting pissed with me

'cause I keep taking them places like this.

We're trying to find something extreme.

- Show me.

- Show you? - Yeah, let me see it.

Okay.

I want to see you contort your body.

Well, I would have to take this off.

I'm not worried about that.

Oh, shit, that's hot.

You got a hot thong on.

- Well, yeah. - What do you...

Turn around. What are your tattoos?

It's a lot harder. I have a, um...

You guys are my best friends.

Yeah, brother. Good luck.

All right. Thank you, guys.

Awesome.

Can I touch your face?

Sure.

That's awesome.

Sweet.

Haunted words.

- Hey, I found it. - What?

- I found the Blue Skeleton. - Yeah, dude...

Where?

Uh, this place that they said. San Antonio.

And then his other friend goes, "Fuck San Antonio!"

He goes, "Tell him about that crazy place we went to."

And I was, like, "Hey, was it called Skull Skeleton?"

He goes, "Blue Skeleton."

And they went last year. And he said it's in Louisiana this year.

Hey, we got it. We got it.

We're done. We're going to Blue Skeleton.

We can go through with two different cameras...

No, but we gotta get to the end...

We got more places to go to.

Look, I don't know exactly...

Where ya'll going? What are ya'll doing?

Yeah, I'm talkin' to you, Biggin'.

- Whoa. - Yeah.

What are you doing?

I knew you were filming in there. Give me the tape.

I didn't...

Dude, I went through one time with no camera.

Dude? Do I look like a dude? I look like a clown, son!

Now, what were you doing in there?

- We were just hanging. - Yeah, we were just...

- We went through your haunt. - Just hanging? Just hanging?

Just hanging?

Just hanging with the big shitty talk?

Whatever! Where are the tapes?

I know you were recording.

We didn't record anything.

You told us to put the camera off...

I know you were recording.

Dude, we didn't record.

Do you remember yesterday?

I wasn't born then!

And fuckin' back up and stop. Relax.

You want me to fuck and back up?

- That is illegal in this state. - Fuck you. Just...

- Hey, dude, stop! Relax. - You gotta get used to some sodomy...

Prepare for some sodomy

because I'm about to fuck you up!

Hey, dude, you don't want...

You do not want to get him pissed off.

I wanna get him pissed off,

- you pissed off, and fuck her. - No, you don't.

You look ridiculous.

- You need to... - Back the fuck up, get out of here.

- Brandy, go inside, now! - Okay.

- Back up. - You heard me. I've said my piece.

Get on before I hurt you.

No, that's the second time

one of these guys have got in my face.

I swear to God, dude, I'm gonna knock one of these guys the fuck out!

Maybe you shouldn't make a sex tape with his sister.

Oh, come on, man, he didn't know that I was filming her.

Beer wench.

We should do a different handshake that's like...

- Oh... - Brandy, can you make...

No.

Oh...

No, I don't like that.

That wouldn't catch on? No.

Oh...

Oh, where are those tongs?

How far would they go to scare somebody? You know...

They will go pretty far.

They will go pretty far to breaking their leg, breaking their back,

doing anything they possibly can to get a scare.

Do you think that you have a stopping point?

Uh...

A stopping point...

I have been asked, and I have done

many different things over the years.

We've heard rumors you were using dead bodies.

I'm not surprised, to be honest.

I'm not surprised. That's actually scary.

Real dead bodies?

Hmm.

Not far, from what I've heard.

Zacharias, you hear anything last night?

No. Come back here for a sec, though.

What are you doing? Close up for a J.O. session?

Yeah. Close the door.

What do you mean, "Close the door"? Why?

Just close the door.

This was posted in a haunt chat room last night.

Dude, what?

I've watched this thing three times.

Every single one of us is in this video.

How would you have filmed this?

Look.

That's me. Were you filming me while I was asleep?

I'm trying to figure out how you filmed it, unless Michael did it.

But I just... Michael's right before you.

I'm in bed with Brandy, there's Jeff...

I can't explain this.

And how's it online?

This isn't... What are you...

The only thing I can think of is, this is just a part of it,

- so we're just gonna have to... - Part of it?

This is not a haunt.

Dude, we're not in a haunt, we're in the middle of nowhere in our RV.

- Yeah, I know. - These guys came in here.

Do not say a fucking word or they will all go home.

You guys seen my license around?

What are you wearing, dude?

Real men wear pink.

Those look like Brandy's panties.

You've never seen my panties.

Brandy's granny panties.

- I blacked out last night. - It could have been her.

What do you mean, "blacked out"?

What the fuck!

What the fuck is...

What are you doing, dude?

What's going on, Michael?

What the fuck are you doing?

- What the fuck is that? - Should I pull over?

What do you mean, "What is that?"

What the fuck?

- What is it?

What the fuck is that?

Is that a heart?

- God, Michael! - Jesus!

Jesus Christ, are you okay?

- Is this you? - Michael...

Why the fuck is he puking in here?

Zack, You did that?

Zack?

Jesus Christ!

What is that?

I have no fucking idea.

Don't touch it. Don't touch it!

Well, I'm not keeping it in here.

Shit.

God, that's so gross.

Fucking idiots, dude.

I didn't do this.

Yeah, you didn't do it.

What are you doing?

Nothing. I'm just waiting for you, man.

Let's go.

None of you guys are ready.

And Mikey's being difficult. Still.

Are you all right?

No, I'm not.

Let's go. - This is just... I don't want to do it.

Jeff, you done?

Hey, I got the email.

- We're doing the forum? - Yeah.

All right.

If you want to move closer, head toward Baton Rouge.

Ask for Giggles at the D&D Bar.

Baton Rouge?

Yeah.

It's... It's part of the thing.

You're the very one that wants to stop going to the Mickey Mouse places.

All right.

Huh?

There it is. Now you're going to get your chance, tough guy.

Look at all those trash bag pumpkins.

This is a bar?

Zack?

I'm sorry, guys, but this is where they said to go.

He said to ask the guy at the bar.

Hey, uh, excuse me.

Sorry to bother you guys. Uh, I'm supposed to find a Giggles.

- You know? - Giggles?

Yeah. I know Giggles.

Oh, yeah. He hangs out here quite regularly, matter of fact.

You all want to take a seat over there

and make yourselves at home. He'll be here shortly.

Yeah.

Sit.

At least we're on the right track.

Look at the couple slow dancing.

So weird.

You guys want a drink, at least?

- Beer. - Jeff, you want a beer?

Yeah.

It's just a scare...

Hey! What's that camera for?

They're cool, the bar.

Happy with that kind of service.

Besides, they don't... They don't like our kind.

Holy shit. Turn around. Turn around, Brandy!

- What? What? - Turn around.

Oh, my God.

Wow.

Are you Giggles?

Hey! All right, I'll turn it off!

Try that here.

That guy was having a good time.

You looked like you were having a good time.

What? Okay, I'm going to the bathroom.

What?

- Hey, we're gonna... - What's going on, guys?

- We're gonna... - No, no, no, no, no.

You want to meet Mr. Giggles? He's outside.

Yes.

He won't talk till the camera is off, so put it down.

- Sit down. - It's gonna be you.

Finally.

This is not a good idea.

Oh, man, check this out.

What you got there?

City boys forgot their camera.

Oh, cool. Let's go make a movie.

Yeah, let's make a movie.

Hey, guys, this is the ladies' room.

Well, yeah, we know. How you doing?

Ugh, what are you doing?

We're shooting a little video.

Thought that's what y'all like.

Well, it's not what we're... It's not what we're here to do.

We decided to shoot a little movie.

Did Bobby and Zack set you up for this?

Heard you were looking for Mr. Giggles.

I got your Mr. Giggles for you right here, darling.

Stop.

- Could you just... - Huh?

Just leave the rest room.

Uh, we're good. We're doing all right. Stop!

Just stop! Guys, get out!

- Come on, huh? - What's the matter?

Just trying to have a little fun.

Bobby.

They cornered me in there.

What the fuck you guys doing?

- Shooting a movie, boy. - Shooting a movie.

That's our camera. What are you talking about?

We're making a movie.

Let's go, let's go...

- I'm not saying it's you. - It's on all of us, all right?

But it's getting out of hand, all right?

They're filming us, they're posting this shit online.

Fucking getting in Mike's face.

But then when they go after Brandy,

that's a whole different story, man.

We can never leave her alone again.

They were asking me for my Facebook, and I got theirs.

We were talking about Extreme Haunts.

And they said that they were looking for the same shit.

I don't know. They were just, like,

"Hey, let's exchange information if you find..."

They knew what we were talking about?

Yeah. They said they've heard of 'em.

Well, then you're gonna need to Facebook 'em.

'Cause we have the information.

It's in Louisiana this year.

We don't have an address, though.

- It doesn't matter. - You know, I'm down,

- but we don't have an address. - It doesn't matter.

- I have...

- These websites. I'm in... - Shh, what was that?

Yeah, but Zack, that's like nothing.

Brandy, when I say Louisiana, that's where it is...

- What was that?

You guys, there's somebody outside.

Look out the windows.

It's so hard to see. Can you even see...

- Shit! - You guys, there's somebody out there!

Brandy, stay here.

- What was that? - Shh...

- Somebody is on the roof. - Where?

Shh.

- Shh.

- Jeff...

Be quiet. Shh...

Shut up, shut up, shut up.

Holy shit. Holy shit.

What just happened?

Bobby... Bobby, get it. Jeff, why is the power out?

Is the door locked? Is the door locked?

Yes, it's locked!

Go turn it on.

What do you see out the window? I don't see shit.

- I can't see anything. - Brandy, just stay here.

Okay.

Do not leave anybody's side.

Stay away from the sun roof.

Or, if I try the engine, dude, it'll charge the generator.

- Try it! - I'll just try it. Hold on.

Brandy, stay back.

Shit!

What the fuck?

Bobby, they are every... They are all around us.

You guys, what is going on?

What the fuck is going on?

What the... Jesus, Bobby!

They're outside our...

Right up against the window over there! Seriously!

- What the fuck? - Where'd they go?

Where did they go?

There were, like, 50 of them...

- Shut the back. - ...and they just disappeared.

Go to the back and lock the door.

Did they go on the sides?

- Guys, do you see that? - I don't know...

They are starting to phase out a lot of the traditional stuff

and starting to go into this extreme stuff.

- If I've got a group of... - Help!

...six or eight, you know, 21-year-old males

and a guy comes up to me and tugs on my sleeve,

and he says, "Hey, I want it hardcore,"

we'll run him through there.

I mean, I'll tell the guy, "I'll do everything short of killing you."

And they're, like, "That's what we want. That's what we want."

And I'll go in there, and we'll tear 'em up.

We're almost to the point where we're gonna cuss these people and gang-rape them.

Brandy, you doing okay?

Come on, it's our last day.

See a smile on that face.

That's our Halloween breakfast?

Yeah.

Halloween is just like Christmas.

You get Christmas breakfast.

Halloween breakfast.

Jack-o-lantern pancakes then.

Can everybody have a good time today, please?

Jesus Christ.

What the fuck was that?

Do not go outside yet.

Dude... Dude...

- Yeah... - I'm going.

Do you see anybody?

Why is there a pumpkin in the middle of nowhere?

Zack, get in... What are you doing?

- Get back in the RV.

See anything?

Somebody is here.

I like it. It says, "Carve me."

Look what I have.

I think they went a little too far.

Got a knife?

I mean, we are in the middle of nowhere, and they found us?

Yeah, this is what you've been looking for.

- Oh, my God. - What is it?

Look what we have here.

Stop being dramatic. What is it?

It's an invitation.

Bourbon Street, 10:00 p.m.

But, I mean how do you know it's Blue Skeleton? How the fuck...

It's what we've been wanting.

It's insane now. There'll be, like, 10,000 people down there.

We gotta try it.

One more day, that's all I ask. It's Halloween.

We go home tomorrow, okay?

Yeah, I don't know.

We bring this to protect us.

Don't be a smartass right now.

We're going home tomorrow.

Dude, this is what we've been looking for.

Yeah, we used to assume that we were gonna go.

We are going.

You just... No, you...

You don't give anybody a chance to talk...

You were really going to get an invitation,

and then just, what are we going to do,

go drink tonight at a bar?

This is what we've been looking for, for a week.

It's Halloween. We go.

- Holy shit. - Wow.

Guys, it's so cool.

I have the weird... That's weird. Halloween.

That's really...

That means people were out here last night putting those in.

Zack, go get 'em.

Wow.

They were sitting around the RV while we were sleeping.

Hey. Hey, you all right?

Brandy, let's go with it.

Halloween time.

Everybody take one. Let's rock.

- Ha! - You're an idiot!

That's not what we set out to do,

is to be fucking surrounded in a field

by fucking weirdos.

Well, if you kind of think about it, it's kind of cool.

You kidding me?

- It's kind of cool. - Kind of cool?

There is such a difference, though,

in wanting extreme shit and knowing, okay,

we're going to do an extreme haunted house,

to brushing teeth and getting ready to go to bed

and be surrounded by redneck hillbilly assholes

that are, you know, fucking with us.

And that's not cool when you don't know what's going on.

Nothing actually happened.

Like, just calm down, all right?

You came on this trip, you've seen this world,

and now we've got the opportunity to do something really cool,

so just relax.

You see anybody who has a skull mask,

anything that looks like it, let me know.

Show me your tits!

Thank you!

It's not him. It's not him.

There's somebody up there with a skull, Jeff.

- Where? - See him on the balcony?

I swear I could see him.

I'm not gonna walk down this street again!

Hey!

- Brandy?

Brandy!

Hey... Bobby!

Hey!

Get him... Get him.

Bobby!

Hey, wait up!

Hey, where you go... Wait up!

Bobby!

You wanna come out and play?

Someone find my friends.

Over here, boy. What you looking at?

Yeah!

Bring your mouth!

Put out your tongue and say, "Ah."

You guys going to call him?

Yeah, Zack is.

I called twice.

What do you mean you called twice?

- Voice mail says... - Whose voice mail?

Jeff's voice mail! It says,

"If you want to go to the Blue Skeleton..."

That gave me an intersection and said we gotta be there by midnight.

I can't believe that we're actually going to find this place, man.

I can't say I know what's going on, but just...

We're in this together.

Right, that's fine. What are you looking for?

Mike.

I don't know where the fuck Jeff is,

I do not know what is going on.

We're either going to the end of this road, or going the fuck home.

What do you want to do? You want to leave him out there?

There's no fucking chance. He's up!

I don't see anything outside, though.

Somebody is coming.

Whoa. Zack, what is this, man?

What's going on?

- What the...

What are we gonna do?

Oh, come on.

This is... Fuck...

What?

"Sixty seconds, come outside, or your friend will die."

- It's a text message? - What the fuck?

This is not all right, man.

"Forty-five seconds."

Fuck this, dude, I'm not scared of them.

Let's get out there. This isn't real, right?

Is this the haunt? What is this?

"You will be scared. Thirty seconds."

Can they fucking hear us?

You guys, what's going on here?

It's... It's just gotta be them.

What else do we do?

Zack?

Dude, get back in the RV!

Come on!

Shit!

"Surprise."

What the hell is going on?

There is glass everywhere, Bobby.

Stay down, Brandy.

Jesus-fucking-Christ! Why are they doing this to us?

Holy shit.

- Stay down. - Can you see Zack?

- Holy shit.

Get it.

"Don't look up."

What the fuck man?

I don't want to fucking play along!

- Get off me! - Get the fuck off!

Do not fucking hurt her!

Jesus Christ.

Brandy?

Brandy, stay close.

Okay.

Where are we going?

Guys, you know what this is. Just relax.

A little hard to relax, Zack.

Zack, shut the fuck up.

Oh, my God.

Ah, fuck!

Get off me!

What is going on, Mike? What's happening?

Get the fuck off me!

- All right, All right.

Jesus!

All right. These guys have got a fuckin' bat.

- What? - What's going on, Mike?

Michael, just do what they want.

All right, all right.

Michael?

He's just messing with you, Brandy.

Okay.

What's going on?

- They are moving me outside. - All right, I'll go!

Hey Zack, are you going too?

I guess, are you?

- No. - Zack!

Wait, you guys, don't leave me in here alone.

Zack, bring her with you!

You guys!

- Brandy! - Oh, shit.

Brandy!

Fucking shit!

Brandy!

- Brandy! - Guys!

- Guys! - Brandy!

Bring her out!

Fuck, I don't want to be here alone.

Count to 30...

...and remove your hood.

There is going to be a video camera

sitting right next to you.

Pick it up...

...and record everything you see.

And remember...

...we'll be watching.

I can't see a goddamn thing.

Oh, my God, this is ridiculous.

Shit.

Zack?

Bobby?

I'm supposed to be filming.

Oh, shit.

Dammit.

I swear to Christ, Bobby, if y'all are fucking with me...

Honestly, I just want to get the... Fuck!

All right, look, I'm fucking over this.

All right, I'm done. I'm done! What the fuck am I supposed to do?

Hello!

Zack! Bobby!

This is crazy shit.

Hello?

Fuck.

Zack?

Oh, fuck.

Holy Jesus Christ, man!

Dude, I am done! Just let me out. I give up...

What the fuck? Get me out of here now!

You look...

Jesus Christ!

Hey, hey! How the fuck do I get out of here?

What the fuck?

- What the fuck!

Oh, shit.

Okay.

No!

Can any of you guys hear me in here?

All right, we're done!

What the fuck?

What the fuck, man!

- Get me the fuck out of here! - Bobby, where are you?

Get me out of here! Get me the fuck out of here!

- Get me the fuck...

Get me the fuck... Bobby! Mikey!

Somebody fucking answer me!

What's going on?

Fuck!

Jesus.

Hey, man, tell me you know how to get out of this fucking place.

Hey.

What the fuck is this?

Your props are really fucking scary!

Oh! Shit.

Hello?

What the fuck is going on?

Hello!

- Oh, shit!

Michael! Mike!

Michael, I'm in here man!

- Get me the fuck out! - Mike!

- God dammit! What the fuck is wrong? - Bobby?

- Michael? - Bobby!

Michael!

- Guys, can you hear me? - No! Look at the door.

Get the fuck out!

Get the fuck out of there now!

- Find the door!

Michael! Michael!

Come on. Come on, there's gotta be a light in here.

Come on.

Coming through! Pardon me!

Stop it!

Please stop!

Just get me out of here!

Please get me out of here!

- I'm going to fuck your world! - No...

Brandy?

Guys, somebody please talk to me.

Please God, please God, please God.

Zack?

Zack, what the fuck are you doing in here, man?

We got to get out of here.

This is not a fucking haunt.

You having fun, Bobby?

Help!

Please...

Bobby!

Please help!

Help me!

Can anybody hear me!

I can't breathe in here!

Please!

Please!

Help!

Help!

Please help me!

Please...

Help!

What's the best part about your job?

I'm... I'm not me for five hours a day.

And if I can get out of the tangled up mess,

that is my head and into somebody else's head.

All that pent-up aggression is now taken out on somebody,

and, you know,

be as vicious and mean as I can towards anybody to scare 'em.

You want to make it so that they're not gonna escape.

Right? I mean, that's the thing, we don't want them to escape.

If I were a zombie and they came out here,

my goal is to eat their brains and survive, right?

And, um, their goal is to not make it out,

or try to make it out if they can.

Um.

They're coming out here and it's going to be their last visit anywhere.