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1
00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:15,510
A little
help would be nice.
2
00:01:22,684 --> 00:01:25,252
Moving on out.
3
00:01:25,385 --> 00:01:28,556
Looks like it's Splitsville
from the West Village
4
00:01:28,690 --> 00:01:31,124
for Lindsay Lohan
and her latest beau,
5
00:01:31,258 --> 00:01:34,194
bad boy rocker, Rocky Rakovia.
6
00:01:34,729 --> 00:01:37,799
Townhouse Confidential
has learned that little Lindsey
7
00:01:37,932 --> 00:01:40,969
has grown teary-eyed over
the construction going on
8
00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:43,270
in front of her rented townhouse
9
00:01:43,403 --> 00:01:46,239
and put in an offer
on a Hudson Yards penthouse
10
00:01:46,373 --> 00:01:48,676
with a floor
to ceiling river view.
11
00:01:49,409 --> 00:01:53,480
Her new digs come complete with
an indoor pool, an outdoor pool,
12
00:01:53,615 --> 00:01:57,150
an equinox gym, and, get this,
13
00:01:57,284 --> 00:02:00,253
luxury barrel saunas for two.
14
00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:02,957
With amenities like that,
15
00:02:03,091 --> 00:02:05,793
how can a West Village
townhouse hope to compete?
16
00:02:22,342 --> 00:02:24,646
Oh, Sophie,
why didn't you text me
17
00:02:24,779 --> 00:02:26,179
and let me know you were coming?
18
00:02:26,313 --> 00:02:29,316
Next time,
remind me to take an Uber.
19
00:02:31,251 --> 00:02:33,420
So, you finally
found us a new tenant, Sophie.
20
00:02:33,554 --> 00:02:34,856
It's about time.
21
00:02:34,989 --> 00:02:36,557
Making money
while you sleep sure does
22
00:02:36,691 --> 00:02:37,992
beat working for a living.
23
00:02:38,126 --> 00:02:39,627
You call that working?
24
00:02:39,761 --> 00:02:41,328
Hooking up with
middle aged hedge funders
25
00:02:41,461 --> 00:02:43,163
that you meet at the gym
26
00:02:43,296 --> 00:02:45,499
while I slave away icing
cupcakes at Magnolia Bakery?
27
00:02:45,633 --> 00:02:47,502
Well, at least
I make more than minimum wage
28
00:02:47,635 --> 00:02:48,970
working as a personal trainer.
29
00:02:49,103 --> 00:02:50,772
Girls, girls, please.
30
00:02:50,905 --> 00:02:53,041
I finally found a tenant
31
00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:54,976
for your precious
garden apartment.
32
00:02:55,109 --> 00:02:57,310
And not just any tenant.
33
00:02:57,444 --> 00:03:00,848
He's 32, runs his own
venture capital fund,
34
00:03:00,982 --> 00:03:03,885
and rakes in more than
half a million a year.
35
00:03:04,018 --> 00:03:06,954
And best of all, he's single.
36
00:03:07,822 --> 00:03:10,024
Never married, no kids, no pets.
37
00:03:10,158 --> 00:03:12,694
That means he's probably gay.
Or bankrupt. Or both.
38
00:03:12,827 --> 00:03:15,195
Have you checked him
out on deadbeatnants.com?
39
00:03:15,328 --> 00:03:18,132
Oh, Lizzie, do you have to be
so cynical all the time?
40
00:03:18,265 --> 00:03:19,901
Maybe he's got
a friend for you, too.
41
00:03:20,034 --> 00:03:21,435
Oh, come on. He might be just--
42
00:03:21,569 --> 00:03:23,504
Can't a girl
get a minute's peace
43
00:03:23,638 --> 00:03:25,039
to blog in this house?
44
00:03:25,173 --> 00:03:26,741
You do realize
that the Huffington Post
45
00:03:26,874 --> 00:03:28,609
just named
Townhouse Confidential--
46
00:03:28,743 --> 00:03:31,311
One of the 100 best
new real estate blogs to watch.
47
00:03:31,445 --> 00:03:33,181
Yes, Mary, we know.
48
00:03:33,313 --> 00:03:34,782
And now we just wait
49
00:03:34,916 --> 00:03:36,450
for all those advertising
dollars to roll in.
50
00:03:36,584 --> 00:03:38,720
Okay, girls,
I'll bring him around
51
00:03:38,853 --> 00:03:40,454
for your inspection tomorrow.
52
00:03:42,023 --> 00:03:44,424
But if there's
a marriage comes out of this,
53
00:03:44,559 --> 00:03:46,928
I expect an invitation
to the wedding.
54
00:03:47,461 --> 00:03:48,863
You are the boss, Sophie.
55
00:03:48,996 --> 00:03:50,430
You have no idea.
56
00:04:02,442 --> 00:04:03,745
Thank you so much
57
00:04:03,878 --> 00:04:05,012
for coming, everyone, thank you.
58
00:04:05,913 --> 00:04:06,948
Thank you very much.
59
00:04:07,081 --> 00:04:08,549
As most of you know,
60
00:04:08,683 --> 00:04:10,718
my family has maintained
a dominant presence
61
00:04:10,852 --> 00:04:14,589
in West Village real estate
for nearly two centuries.
62
00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:17,892
Our new master plan,
63
00:04:18,626 --> 00:04:22,262
which we will execute
with $100 million in bank loans
64
00:04:22,395 --> 00:04:23,631
and investor capital,
65
00:04:24,232 --> 00:04:27,235
will remake the face
of the West Village.
66
00:04:28,736 --> 00:04:30,605
Affording the world's elite
67
00:04:30,738 --> 00:04:34,008
the opportunity
to own entire blocks
68
00:04:34,142 --> 00:04:36,677
of luxury townhouse properties
69
00:04:36,811 --> 00:04:39,080
where they can live, work.
70
00:04:39,213 --> 00:04:40,848
Did you know
that from the moment
71
00:04:40,982 --> 00:04:43,151
I brought Georgie home
from St. Vincent's Hospital,
72
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:46,453
he could already point
out a lintel from his stroller?
73
00:04:46,587 --> 00:04:48,589
And by age seven,
he knew the difference
74
00:04:48,723 --> 00:04:51,291
between a federal style
townhouse and a Greek Revival.
75
00:04:51,424 --> 00:04:52,860
More into it.
76
00:04:52,994 --> 00:04:55,096
Now, as you can see
in the shaded area,
77
00:04:55,229 --> 00:04:58,065
Barrow Ventures
has holdings on Charles,
78
00:04:58,199 --> 00:05:00,034
Perry, Bank Street,
79
00:05:00,168 --> 00:05:04,205
as well as 50 other
luxury townhouse properties.
80
00:05:06,607 --> 00:05:09,644
Not to worry.
81
00:05:09,777 --> 00:05:12,379
Girls are always fainting
at Georgie's presentations.
82
00:05:12,513 --> 00:05:15,183
That's why we always have
a couple of paramedics on hand.
83
00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:17,018
Boys.
84
00:05:17,151 --> 00:05:18,986
Thank you, boys.
85
00:05:21,622 --> 00:05:23,524
She's fine. She's fine.
86
00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:26,761
Any questions?
87
00:05:26,894 --> 00:05:28,495
Yes.
88
00:05:28,629 --> 00:05:31,566
But what about the Landmarks
Preservation Commission?
89
00:05:31,699 --> 00:05:33,935
Won't the city's
preservationists object
90
00:05:34,068 --> 00:05:38,438
to your turning the West Village
into a hedge funder Disneyland?
91
00:05:43,211 --> 00:05:44,411
The deal is in the bag.
92
00:05:45,012 --> 00:05:46,446
Everyone from the mayor on down
93
00:05:46,581 --> 00:05:48,182
has already signed off
on the project.
94
00:05:48,749 --> 00:05:51,853
Trust me,
this baby is shovel ready.
95
00:05:51,986 --> 00:05:54,021
But what if
some of the townhouse owners
96
00:05:54,155 --> 00:05:55,488
refuse to sell?
97
00:05:55,623 --> 00:05:56,891
Got it covered.
98
00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:58,926
We've hired the top brokers
in the West Village
99
00:05:59,060 --> 00:06:00,828
to canvas the homeowners.
100
00:06:00,962 --> 00:06:03,064
Everyone has agreed to sell
to our development company
101
00:06:03,197 --> 00:06:04,799
once we close on the financing.
102
00:06:04,932 --> 00:06:06,767
Mr. Barrow,
one more question.
103
00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:09,637
So, I think the presentation
104
00:06:09,770 --> 00:06:11,739
went very well today.
105
00:06:11,873 --> 00:06:14,075
Such a pity your father
wasn't there to see it.
106
00:06:14,809 --> 00:06:16,143
He would have been so proud.
107
00:06:16,277 --> 00:06:18,246
I missed Dad too, Mother,
108
00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:20,548
but it's been ten years
since he passed away.
109
00:06:21,515 --> 00:06:23,217
I'm sure he would have
wanted us to move on.
110
00:06:23,351 --> 00:06:25,119
And so we are,
111
00:06:25,253 --> 00:06:28,055
by creating a townhouse empire
in the West Village
112
00:06:28,189 --> 00:06:31,659
that'll make the Barrow
family name burn even brighter.
113
00:06:32,293 --> 00:06:36,429
And perhaps one day,
by continuing the Barrow legacy
114
00:06:36,564 --> 00:06:38,132
into the seventh generation.
115
00:06:38,266 --> 00:06:40,935
-Here we go again.
-You know, Diana's daughter,
116
00:06:41,068 --> 00:06:42,703
Amy, was in the audience today.
117
00:06:43,170 --> 00:06:46,274
Goldman real estate analyst,
Wharton MBA.
118
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,408
I saw the way
she was looking at you.
119
00:06:48,542 --> 00:06:49,877
Please don't start.
120
00:06:50,378 --> 00:06:52,680
George,
you're not getting any younger.
121
00:06:52,813 --> 00:06:54,282
Why, when your father
was your age--
122
00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:56,517
He was married
with a baby and a mortgage.
123
00:06:56,651 --> 00:06:59,921
Yes, Mother.
I know, but I'm 32 and single.
124
00:07:00,054 --> 00:07:01,989
I have more mortgages
than I can count.
125
00:07:03,557 --> 00:07:06,928
I'm so busy
building this business,
126
00:07:07,061 --> 00:07:08,461
I barely have time
for a girlfriend,
127
00:07:08,596 --> 00:07:09,864
let alone a wife and kid.
128
00:07:10,598 --> 00:07:13,834
George, every girl
I've ever introduced you to
129
00:07:13,968 --> 00:07:15,069
has been wrong.
130
00:07:15,202 --> 00:07:17,071
Too thin, too fat.
131
00:07:17,204 --> 00:07:18,606
Too smart. Not smart enough.
132
00:07:18,739 --> 00:07:20,741
Wrong school, wrong zip code.
133
00:07:21,375 --> 00:07:22,944
I'm beginning
to think that maybe
134
00:07:23,077 --> 00:07:25,179
you're not interested
in girls at all.
135
00:07:27,281 --> 00:07:28,916
What are you
trying to say, Mother?
136
00:07:30,251 --> 00:07:32,019
All I want is a little grandbaby
137
00:07:32,153 --> 00:07:34,922
I can pop in a stroller
and push around the West Village
138
00:07:35,056 --> 00:07:37,358
to teach the ABCs
of bricks and brownstones.
139
00:07:37,490 --> 00:07:39,327
Is that too much to ask?
140
00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:41,996
Mother, we're done here.
141
00:07:42,630 --> 00:07:43,864
I'm off to a business meeting.
142
00:07:43,998 --> 00:07:45,733
-What?
-Don't wait up.
143
00:07:50,104 --> 00:07:51,372
What are you gettin'?
144
00:07:51,505 --> 00:07:53,174
I don't know.
How about you?
145
00:07:53,307 --> 00:07:55,475
Think I'm gonna
go for a pastrami, no mustard.
146
00:07:56,510 --> 00:07:58,679
Sal, you gotta
watch your gluten, Sal.
147
00:07:58,813 --> 00:08:00,815
Yeah, but I like
food with gluten.
148
00:08:00,948 --> 00:08:02,482
All right.
Good. Oh, here he is.
149
00:08:06,821 --> 00:08:08,289
How are you doing, Mr. Barrow?
150
00:08:08,422 --> 00:08:10,624
Sal Carmine, Long Island
Mortgage and Title.
151
00:08:10,758 --> 00:08:12,760
This is my associate, Big Sal.
152
00:08:12,893 --> 00:08:14,462
Nice to meet you, Mr. Barrow.
153
00:08:14,595 --> 00:08:16,063
Very nice to meet you,
gentlemen.
154
00:08:16,197 --> 00:08:17,598
Have a seat.
155
00:08:18,699 --> 00:08:20,701
Thank you for coming today.
I appreciate you.
156
00:08:20,835 --> 00:08:23,304
So, Big Sal...
157
00:08:24,338 --> 00:08:26,507
looks like the two of you
are exactly the same height.
158
00:08:27,875 --> 00:08:29,510
We get that a lot, actually.
159
00:08:29,643 --> 00:08:31,846
But I'm 5'6, he's 5'7.
160
00:08:31,979 --> 00:08:33,514
That's why
they call him Big Sal.
161
00:08:33,647 --> 00:08:35,683
Listen, guys,
I'm a little pressed for time.
162
00:08:36,550 --> 00:08:37,885
What have you got for me?
163
00:08:38,019 --> 00:08:39,220
Well,
unfortunately, Georgie,
164
00:08:39,353 --> 00:08:40,654
the pickings were pretty slim.
165
00:08:41,355 --> 00:08:43,824
Your family owns 50 townhouses
in the West Village,
166
00:08:43,958 --> 00:08:45,860
but you drain
most of your equity.
167
00:08:45,993 --> 00:08:47,895
And your credit lines,
they're pretty tight.
168
00:08:48,462 --> 00:08:50,398
The only bank that's willing
to give you a bridge loan
169
00:08:50,531 --> 00:08:52,666
to finance your deal
until it closes
170
00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:54,869
is the Hudson River Bank
out of Westchester.
171
00:08:55,002 --> 00:08:56,203
Hudson River Bank.
172
00:08:57,471 --> 00:08:59,774
I thought they were
a front for the Russian mob.
173
00:09:00,241 --> 00:09:03,244
Doesn't a certain
bankrupt real estate developer
174
00:09:03,377 --> 00:09:05,746
from Queens borrow money there?
175
00:09:05,880 --> 00:09:08,517
I heard he got into politics
just to pay his bills.
176
00:09:08,649 --> 00:09:09,850
Those guys are tough.
177
00:09:11,052 --> 00:09:12,253
What's the rate?
178
00:09:12,386 --> 00:09:15,189
8.5% and five points at closing.
179
00:09:15,756 --> 00:09:18,159
-Cheap.
-With fed funds at next to zero?
180
00:09:18,626 --> 00:09:20,494
Why, that's practically usury.
181
00:09:20,628 --> 00:09:22,096
You want that
half a million dollars or not?
182
00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:24,098
Half a million?
183
00:09:24,231 --> 00:09:27,601
I told you I needed a million
dollars to close the deal.
184
00:09:27,735 --> 00:09:30,071
Well, that's why
I brought Big Sal over here.
185
00:09:30,204 --> 00:09:31,972
He's like a brother
from another mother.
186
00:09:32,106 --> 00:09:35,876
Let's just say he has access
to some creative financing.
187
00:09:36,545 --> 00:09:38,279
You gotta be kidding me.
188
00:09:38,412 --> 00:09:41,215
Listen, listen, listen,
it's a new thing we're trying.
189
00:09:41,348 --> 00:09:43,217
It's called
financing.
190
00:09:43,350 --> 00:09:45,286
We charge lower rates
than the Russian mob.
191
00:09:45,853 --> 00:09:47,421
And what the IRS don't know...
192
00:09:48,889 --> 00:09:50,024
won't hurt 'em.
193
00:09:56,163 --> 00:09:57,298
So...
194
00:09:58,499 --> 00:10:00,301
What kind of collateral
are you looking for?
195
00:10:00,868 --> 00:10:03,404
Do you need
a personal guarantee?
196
00:10:03,538 --> 00:10:05,639
Nothing, nothing.
Just your word of honor.
197
00:10:05,773 --> 00:10:07,576
And a promise that
you do the right thing.
198
00:10:10,911 --> 00:10:12,279
Well, what happens
if the deal falls apart
199
00:10:12,413 --> 00:10:13,781
and I can't pay you back?
200
00:10:13,914 --> 00:10:15,316
Go home and watch The Godfather.
201
00:10:15,449 --> 00:10:16,750
You get the idea.
202
00:10:17,218 --> 00:10:19,253
Or maybe
Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
203
00:10:21,889 --> 00:10:23,592
Pleasure doing
business with you guys.
204
00:10:32,266 --> 00:10:33,634
Oh, coming.
205
00:10:33,767 --> 00:10:35,336
Put your foot down.
206
00:10:39,807 --> 00:10:41,842
- Welcome. Come in.
- Hi, girls.
207
00:10:41,976 --> 00:10:43,612
Look who I brought with me.
208
00:10:43,744 --> 00:10:47,114
Meet Jonathan Grove,
your new tenant.
209
00:10:47,248 --> 00:10:48,649
It's a pleasure to meet you.
210
00:10:48,782 --> 00:10:50,117
And his friend
211
00:10:50,251 --> 00:10:52,920
and real estate advisor,
George Barrow.
212
00:10:53,053 --> 00:10:54,623
Mr. Barrow. Pleasure.
213
00:10:54,755 --> 00:10:56,123
You as well.
214
00:10:56,257 --> 00:10:58,125
-What a lovely home.
-Oh, thank you.
215
00:10:58,259 --> 00:10:59,927
How is your plan
coming along to turn
216
00:11:00,060 --> 00:11:03,397
the West Village into
a hedge funder's Disneyland?
217
00:11:04,965 --> 00:11:06,800
Very well, thank you.
218
00:11:07,602 --> 00:11:10,204
George and Jonathan
were roommates at Columbia.
219
00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:12,507
Now, Jonathan has returned
to New York
220
00:11:12,641 --> 00:11:14,842
to start his own
venture capital fund.
221
00:11:14,975 --> 00:11:17,478
Wow. Welcome back.
Shall we sign the lease?
222
00:11:17,612 --> 00:11:19,648
- Yes!
- Yes, please.
223
00:11:23,518 --> 00:11:26,720
This is where you sign,
Jonathan, to start your new life
224
00:11:26,854 --> 00:11:30,057
in the historic
and charming West Village.
225
00:11:30,191 --> 00:11:31,660
Uh, not so fast, my friend.
226
00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:33,562
Before we sign the lease,
227
00:11:34,195 --> 00:11:37,398
let's go downstairs
and do a walkthrough.
228
00:11:38,866 --> 00:11:40,635
You know, I normally
make my own decisions,
229
00:11:40,768 --> 00:11:43,103
at least when it comes
to investing in startups,
230
00:11:43,237 --> 00:11:44,905
but he's the townhouse expert.
231
00:11:45,039 --> 00:11:46,240
I'm just the money guy.
232
00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:47,841
Indeed.
233
00:11:49,043 --> 00:11:50,579
Come on, let's go.
234
00:11:54,381 --> 00:11:56,383
Welcome to
your new home, Jonathan.
235
00:11:56,984 --> 00:11:59,621
Oh, my God.
236
00:11:59,753 --> 00:12:01,590
And the--
So the couch and the table,
237
00:12:01,722 --> 00:12:03,157
they come with the apartment?
238
00:12:03,290 --> 00:12:04,593
They can
if you'd like them to say.
239
00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:05,960
Great. Okay.
240
00:12:06,093 --> 00:12:07,194
Does this outlet work?
241
00:12:07,328 --> 00:12:08,729
Uh, yes, they all work.
242
00:12:08,862 --> 00:12:10,231
I checked them myself.
243
00:12:10,364 --> 00:12:11,865
You see
how spacious it is?
244
00:12:11,999 --> 00:12:13,702
Oh, my God.
I didn't see back there, wow.
245
00:12:13,834 --> 00:12:16,504
-Let's take a look.
-Scuff marks on the wall.
246
00:12:17,304 --> 00:12:18,772
Easy to fix.
247
00:12:18,906 --> 00:12:20,040
Do you have another light bulb?
248
00:12:20,174 --> 00:12:21,408
Of course.
249
00:12:24,579 --> 00:12:26,681
Paint's a bit peeling.
We'll need some drywall repair.
250
00:12:26,814 --> 00:12:27,915
Absolutely.
251
00:12:35,489 --> 00:12:37,291
You're gonna
have to handle this.
252
00:12:38,092 --> 00:12:40,027
Consider it handled.
253
00:12:40,595 --> 00:12:43,097
Print out this email,
254
00:12:43,230 --> 00:12:44,898
attach it
to the lease as a rider,
255
00:12:45,032 --> 00:12:46,934
and Jonathan will sign it.
256
00:12:47,067 --> 00:12:49,203
Personally, I think the place
is charming just the way it is.
257
00:12:50,004 --> 00:12:51,839
Well, I'll look for your email.
258
00:12:52,773 --> 00:12:54,074
- Nice to meet you.
- You too.
259
00:12:54,208 --> 00:12:55,976
Really excited for this.
This is awesome.
260
00:12:56,110 --> 00:12:57,444
Thank you. Good.
261
00:13:00,381 --> 00:13:01,982
Girls, you got
yourself a tenant.
262
00:13:02,550 --> 00:13:03,917
Do you have any idea how much
263
00:13:04,051 --> 00:13:05,720
all those repairs
are going to cost us?
264
00:13:05,886 --> 00:13:07,821
We need every cent of
Jonathan's first month rent
265
00:13:07,955 --> 00:13:09,923
and security deposit to pay
for the mortgage and the taxes.
266
00:13:10,057 --> 00:13:11,559
Wait, I have an idea.
267
00:13:11,693 --> 00:13:13,394
I will take him down
to the Little Branch,
268
00:13:13,528 --> 00:13:15,963
I'll get him wasted,
introduce him to some girls,
269
00:13:16,096 --> 00:13:18,032
he'll forget all about
the stupid repairs.
270
00:13:18,165 --> 00:13:22,069
Plus, we all know a handyman
who'll do the work for cheap.
271
00:13:31,011 --> 00:13:33,782
On time
with 30 seconds to spare.
272
00:13:34,749 --> 00:13:38,653
Tommy boy, you still close out
the bars and pick up the chicks.
273
00:13:39,754 --> 00:13:40,888
Mm.
274
00:13:55,603 --> 00:13:56,805
Hey, Tommy.
275
00:13:57,605 --> 00:14:00,307
How you been?
Haven't seen you around lately.
276
00:14:00,441 --> 00:14:02,309
Hey, babe. What's going on?
277
00:14:02,443 --> 00:14:03,911
Babe?
278
00:14:05,979 --> 00:14:08,148
You don't remember
my name, do you?
279
00:14:08,282 --> 00:14:10,184
Sure, but of course I do.
It's uh...
280
00:14:10,317 --> 00:14:11,753
Starts with a K.
281
00:14:13,287 --> 00:14:15,022
I let you crash
at my place for three weeks
282
00:14:15,155 --> 00:14:16,558
because you couldn't pay rent.
283
00:14:16,691 --> 00:14:20,094
Kaitlyn! Kristen? You're uh--
284
00:14:20,861 --> 00:14:23,163
The top floor apartment
on Laker and 11th street
285
00:14:23,297 --> 00:14:25,065
above Magnolia Bakery,
where we literally did it--
286
00:14:25,199 --> 00:14:27,935
Kathleen! Oh, sorry, baby.
287
00:14:28,068 --> 00:14:29,903
I was still a little hungover
after the last night.
288
00:14:30,705 --> 00:14:32,873
-I missed you, baby.
-You know what?
289
00:14:33,608 --> 00:14:35,109
Go fuck yourself, Tommy.
290
00:14:35,242 --> 00:14:37,211
You're a total man whore.
291
00:14:49,189 --> 00:14:51,191
God damn George Barrow.
292
00:14:51,325 --> 00:14:52,761
Why did
send me here?
293
00:14:52,893 --> 00:14:54,428
He knows how much
I hate that guy.
294
00:14:54,562 --> 00:14:57,799
Oh, hey, baby. You new in town?
295
00:15:07,509 --> 00:15:10,612
"To our sweet tenant, Jonathan.
296
00:15:11,513 --> 00:15:16,851
"May this little box of treats
sweeten your stay in our home."
297
00:15:21,188 --> 00:15:22,289
Hey, Lizzie.
298
00:15:23,056 --> 00:15:25,259
Got your text saying something
down here needs fixing.
299
00:15:25,392 --> 00:15:27,729
You said it was urgent.
300
00:15:27,862 --> 00:15:29,296
Yes, Tommy.
301
00:15:29,430 --> 00:15:30,931
We have a new tenant
moving in on Monday
302
00:15:31,064 --> 00:15:32,567
and we have a whole
punch list of things
303
00:15:32,700 --> 00:15:33,868
that we need to fix before then.
304
00:15:34,001 --> 00:15:36,103
Really? Like what?
305
00:15:37,037 --> 00:15:40,274
The place looks like it's still
in, uh, pretty decent shape,
306
00:15:40,407 --> 00:15:41,576
as far as I can remember,
307
00:15:41,709 --> 00:15:42,976
Last time I was here...
308
00:15:43,944 --> 00:15:46,714
I'll admit, it was pretty dark.
309
00:15:46,848 --> 00:15:50,083
So you do realize
that my sisters and I,
310
00:15:50,217 --> 00:15:51,753
we don't make a lot of money.
311
00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:55,088
Yeah, the poor little rich girls
312
00:15:55,222 --> 00:15:56,724
live in a townhouse,
make minimum wage.
313
00:15:56,858 --> 00:15:58,325
Yeah, I've heard the stories.
314
00:15:58,459 --> 00:16:00,327
So how much do you think
you're going to charge me
315
00:16:00,461 --> 00:16:01,962
to fix everything
on this punch list?
316
00:16:02,095 --> 00:16:04,566
Plus slap on a fresh coat
of paint, of course.
317
00:16:04,699 --> 00:16:08,168
I was thinking maybe $500.
318
00:16:10,103 --> 00:16:12,072
What's in the box?
319
00:16:12,206 --> 00:16:14,174
Oh, no, Tommy,
those cupcakes aren't for you.
320
00:16:14,308 --> 00:16:16,043
They're a housewarming present
for Jonathan.
321
00:16:16,176 --> 00:16:18,078
He's coming by later
to pick up his keys.
322
00:16:33,895 --> 00:16:35,763
He won't miss just one, right?
323
00:16:35,897 --> 00:16:37,331
No. Tommy, don't.
324
00:16:40,969 --> 00:16:42,269
Yummy.
325
00:16:43,303 --> 00:16:44,706
Tommy, I said no.
326
00:16:44,839 --> 00:16:46,674
You sure, Lizzie?
327
00:16:47,709 --> 00:16:49,544
Because on New Year's,
as I recall,
328
00:16:49,677 --> 00:16:52,346
that "no" quickly turned into
329
00:16:52,479 --> 00:16:55,750
a yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
330
00:16:55,884 --> 00:16:58,051
Yes! Yes! Yes!
331
00:16:58,185 --> 00:17:00,922
Tommy, Tommy,
Tommy, Tommy, stop!
332
00:17:01,054 --> 00:17:03,423
-Put down that cupcake or--
-Or you'll what?
333
00:17:03,558 --> 00:17:05,894
Run to the sixth precinct
and get an order of protection?
334
00:17:06,026 --> 00:17:08,763
Cops can't protect you
from your own appetites, Lizzie.
335
00:17:09,329 --> 00:17:11,064
You have no idea how hard it is.
336
00:17:11,198 --> 00:17:14,769
Every day at work,
being surrounded by cupcakes
337
00:17:14,903 --> 00:17:18,540
and frosting
and banana cream pudding,
338
00:17:18,673 --> 00:17:20,207
always having
to be the good girl,
339
00:17:20,340 --> 00:17:22,075
-always having to say no.
-Why?
340
00:17:22,209 --> 00:17:23,745
'Cause you're waiting
for the day Prince Charming
341
00:17:23,878 --> 00:17:25,580
walks in with
your glass slipper?
342
00:17:26,548 --> 00:17:28,348
You know what you want,
Liz Perry.
343
00:17:29,651 --> 00:17:31,553
Just relax and enjoy it.
344
00:17:34,789 --> 00:17:37,157
Oh, my God.
345
00:17:47,167 --> 00:17:48,703
This is really good.
346
00:17:49,236 --> 00:17:52,172
It's, uh-- it's been a while.
347
00:17:55,043 --> 00:17:57,045
Give me 1,000 bucks.
I'll start tomorrow.
348
00:17:58,746 --> 00:18:02,784
Elizabeth Perry, the girl
who can't resist a cupcake.
349
00:18:02,917 --> 00:18:05,053
Who would have thought?
350
00:18:08,723 --> 00:18:10,024
Bye.
351
00:18:21,603 --> 00:18:23,605
Hi. I'm looking for Lydia Perry.
352
00:18:23,738 --> 00:18:25,707
Oh, hey, I'm Lydia Perry.
353
00:18:26,206 --> 00:18:27,775
I'm your personal trainer.
354
00:18:27,909 --> 00:18:30,143
Hi, Jim Bedford.
Good to meet you.
355
00:18:30,277 --> 00:18:32,179
So, what brings you
to the gym, Jim?
356
00:18:32,312 --> 00:18:34,381
It wasn't really
my idea to come here.
357
00:18:35,083 --> 00:18:37,484
Usually the only thing
I exercise is my fingers.
358
00:18:37,619 --> 00:18:39,286
It's typical of most guys.
359
00:18:40,688 --> 00:18:42,790
No, I didn't mean it like that.
360
00:18:42,924 --> 00:18:44,859
I'm-- I'm a software developer,
361
00:18:44,993 --> 00:18:47,829
so I just, you know, spend most
of my time just writing code,
362
00:18:47,962 --> 00:18:49,731
just banging away
at the keyboard.
363
00:18:49,864 --> 00:18:51,966
So you enjoy banging, too?
364
00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:54,769
No, hold on, hold on.
365
00:18:54,902 --> 00:18:56,571
No-- What I mean is,
366
00:18:56,704 --> 00:18:59,641
I'm the CEO
of a social media startup,
367
00:18:59,774 --> 00:19:01,274
and I'm going on
a road show next month
368
00:19:01,408 --> 00:19:02,944
to raise money from investors.
369
00:19:03,077 --> 00:19:04,812
So the VCs thought
it would be a good idea
370
00:19:04,946 --> 00:19:07,280
for me to get in shape
before, you know,
371
00:19:07,414 --> 00:19:09,316
I collapse
in an airport and die.
372
00:19:09,449 --> 00:19:11,019
Wow, social media,
373
00:19:11,151 --> 00:19:13,588
roadshow, investors.
374
00:19:13,721 --> 00:19:15,389
What does your company do?
375
00:19:15,523 --> 00:19:19,027
Well, we developed
an app called Chick Stalkers,
376
00:19:19,159 --> 00:19:21,629
which lets guys rate
other guys ex-girlfriends
377
00:19:21,763 --> 00:19:23,665
by swiping left
or right on their phones.
378
00:19:23,798 --> 00:19:25,833
Consumers use it for free,
and we make money
379
00:19:25,967 --> 00:19:27,135
by selling the data
that we gathered
380
00:19:27,267 --> 00:19:28,636
to porn sites and the NSA.
381
00:19:28,770 --> 00:19:30,872
I'll have to check it out.
382
00:19:31,005 --> 00:19:32,974
In the meantime,
why don't you go ahead
383
00:19:33,107 --> 00:19:35,242
and hop on the treadmill
so I can check you out.
384
00:19:35,375 --> 00:19:36,811
See what kind
of shape you're in?
385
00:19:36,944 --> 00:19:38,680
-Okay.
-Yep. Right over there.
386
00:20:09,711 --> 00:20:11,012
Now, we're gonna head that way.
387
00:20:13,114 --> 00:20:15,049
Wow. I'm impressed.
388
00:20:15,683 --> 00:20:17,085
Did you play sports in college?
389
00:20:18,586 --> 00:20:21,421
Well, I-- I played
lacrosse at NYU,
390
00:20:21,556 --> 00:20:23,256
but we were only division three.
391
00:20:23,390 --> 00:20:24,892
Truth be told,
I spent most of my time
392
00:20:25,026 --> 00:20:26,060
warming the bench.
393
00:20:26,194 --> 00:20:27,995
Writing code, I suspect.
394
00:20:28,129 --> 00:20:30,765
Yeah, actually.
I had a teammate. Oh.
395
00:20:30,898 --> 00:20:32,633
He got dumped by
this girl with huge tits,
396
00:20:32,767 --> 00:20:34,635
and he dared me
to write a program
397
00:20:34,769 --> 00:20:37,105
where I ranked all the girls
at NYU based on their cup size.
398
00:20:37,237 --> 00:20:39,239
It's actually where I got
the idea for Chick Stalkers.
399
00:20:39,372 --> 00:20:41,776
- Cool.
- Yeah.
400
00:20:41,909 --> 00:20:44,277
The only problem we're having
is getting girls to use it.
401
00:20:44,411 --> 00:20:46,279
-Really?
-You know what?
402
00:20:46,413 --> 00:20:48,448
I would actually love
a woman's point of view.
403
00:20:48,583 --> 00:20:50,918
All of our developers
are just horny nerds.
404
00:20:52,887 --> 00:20:55,957
Well, I will definitely
check out your app, Jim Bedford.
405
00:20:57,424 --> 00:20:58,593
See you back here next week.
406
00:21:06,734 --> 00:21:09,604
Oh, bathroom. Yeah.
407
00:21:22,917 --> 00:21:24,819
Guess who I just met at the gym.
408
00:21:27,121 --> 00:21:28,388
Mary.
409
00:21:28,523 --> 00:21:30,457
Mary, I know you're in there
410
00:21:30,591 --> 00:21:32,492
because you never go anywhere
and you don't have a life.
411
00:21:32,627 --> 00:21:35,462
Go away, Lydia.
I'm on deadline with my blog.
412
00:21:40,300 --> 00:21:42,270
So I went to the gym,
and I met this guy
413
00:21:42,402 --> 00:21:44,105
who was also named Jim
and he's the CEO
414
00:21:44,238 --> 00:21:45,740
of this company called--
415
00:21:47,708 --> 00:21:51,179
"Lindsay dumps boyfriend
to shack up with dad?"
416
00:21:51,311 --> 00:21:52,479
Total clickbait.
417
00:21:53,181 --> 00:21:56,117
"Spotted: Lindsay Lohan
checking out townhouses
418
00:21:56,250 --> 00:21:59,954
"in the 10014 with
super broker Kathryn Waverly.
419
00:22:00,087 --> 00:22:02,256
"Sources close to the former
West Village resident
420
00:22:02,389 --> 00:22:05,059
"tell Townhouse Confidential,
blah, blah, blah."
421
00:22:05,193 --> 00:22:07,161
If I post it now,
I can scoop page six
422
00:22:07,295 --> 00:22:09,530
and the New York Times
real estate section.
423
00:22:10,330 --> 00:22:11,899
Who gave you that tip?
424
00:22:12,033 --> 00:22:13,768
One of the addicts
that hangs out on the stoop?
425
00:22:13,901 --> 00:22:15,169
How do you even know it's true?
426
00:22:15,903 --> 00:22:18,139
I'm a journalist.
I don't reveal my sources.
427
00:22:18,272 --> 00:22:19,607
You'd have more sources
428
00:22:19,740 --> 00:22:21,341
if you left the house
once in a while.
429
00:22:21,474 --> 00:22:23,644
I pick out more information
at the gym every day
430
00:22:23,778 --> 00:22:26,881
than you ever will through
your network of street people.
431
00:22:27,380 --> 00:22:29,050
Anyway, good luck.
432
00:22:29,183 --> 00:22:30,450
I'm out of here.
433
00:23:17,131 --> 00:23:19,267
Listen, sister.
If you want to get to the top
434
00:23:19,399 --> 00:23:21,335
of the blogosphere,
you've got to get out
435
00:23:21,468 --> 00:23:24,138
of your townhouse and do some
real journalism once in a while.
436
00:23:24,272 --> 00:23:26,406
I can't believe I actually
left my house to meet with you.
437
00:23:26,540 --> 00:23:29,277
I was on deadline with
a Lindsay Lohan exclusive.
438
00:23:29,409 --> 00:23:30,945
I could have been scooped
by The Real Deal
439
00:23:31,078 --> 00:23:32,513
or Current New York.
440
00:23:36,183 --> 00:23:38,219
I just texted you
a picture of George Barrow
441
00:23:38,352 --> 00:23:41,722
at the Waverly Diner borrowing
money from a couple of mobsters.
442
00:23:41,856 --> 00:23:44,225
Practically gift wrapped it,
for sobbing out loud.
443
00:23:44,859 --> 00:23:46,694
Now, do you want to bring down
444
00:23:46,827 --> 00:23:49,764
the wicked Prince Charming of
West Village real estate or not?
445
00:23:50,831 --> 00:23:53,034
Sure, I'd love to break
that story and win a Pulitzer,
446
00:23:53,167 --> 00:23:55,136
but how do we know
you're telling the truth?
447
00:23:55,269 --> 00:23:57,505
Why would George Barrow
borrow money from the mob?
448
00:23:57,638 --> 00:23:58,839
He already has a ton of cash.
449
00:23:58,973 --> 00:24:00,440
Not as much as you'd think.
450
00:24:01,375 --> 00:24:02,576
Take a look.
451
00:24:03,177 --> 00:24:05,246
George's check
from the Waverly diner.
452
00:24:05,379 --> 00:24:06,948
So, what does that prove?
453
00:24:07,081 --> 00:24:10,117
Well, he only left
a 10% tip, not his usual 25.
454
00:24:11,919 --> 00:24:14,454
My God, you're right.
455
00:24:15,156 --> 00:24:18,993
George is in serious trouble.
Give me all the dirt.
456
00:24:19,126 --> 00:24:20,661
You know what to do.
457
00:24:24,065 --> 00:24:25,166
What are you doing?
458
00:24:25,299 --> 00:24:26,600
It's a burner phone.
459
00:24:26,734 --> 00:24:28,502
Do you really think
I'm that stupid?
460
00:24:29,303 --> 00:24:31,973
But you didn't tell me anything.
461
00:24:32,106 --> 00:24:34,474
I don't even know your name.
How do I get a hold of you?
462
00:24:34,608 --> 00:24:36,243
Just call me Deep Park
463
00:24:36,377 --> 00:24:38,478
and follow the money,
it won't steer you wrong.
464
00:24:52,793 --> 00:24:55,930
Oh, George.
Hi. I wasn't expecting you.
465
00:24:56,063 --> 00:24:57,999
How can I help you today?
466
00:24:58,132 --> 00:25:00,668
Well, it's just
one more little thing.
467
00:25:00,801 --> 00:25:03,037
After that contractor came by
to do the repairs
468
00:25:03,170 --> 00:25:04,972
before Jonathan moved in,
469
00:25:05,106 --> 00:25:06,807
you assured me that all the
electrical outlets were working,
470
00:25:06,941 --> 00:25:10,044
but this one clearly is not.
471
00:25:10,177 --> 00:25:11,712
I had one of
my electricians come by
472
00:25:11,846 --> 00:25:13,314
and test it this morning.
473
00:25:13,447 --> 00:25:15,182
Well, it was
working fine until Jonathan
474
00:25:15,316 --> 00:25:17,218
had his home entertainment
system installed last week.
475
00:25:17,351 --> 00:25:18,386
I checked it myself.
476
00:25:18,519 --> 00:25:21,188
With what? An iPhone?
477
00:25:22,089 --> 00:25:24,725
You can hardly expect
my friend to run
478
00:25:24,859 --> 00:25:28,362
a 60-inch flatscreen TV,
a Bose speaker system,
479
00:25:28,496 --> 00:25:31,832
and an Xbox from an outlet that
can barely charge a cell phone.
480
00:25:31,966 --> 00:25:34,068
You're going to have to
call ConEd to upgrade the power.
481
00:25:34,201 --> 00:25:36,037
Excuse me? This is my house.
482
00:25:36,170 --> 00:25:37,405
And it's my sisters' house.
483
00:25:38,105 --> 00:25:39,840
And it was our parents house
until they were struck
484
00:25:39,974 --> 00:25:42,076
by a Green Apple tour bus
crossing 7th Avenue.
485
00:25:42,843 --> 00:25:44,779
Now, we may not
have a lot of money,
486
00:25:44,912 --> 00:25:46,414
but we do the best
with what we can.
487
00:25:46,547 --> 00:25:48,082
And ever since
you showed up here
488
00:25:48,215 --> 00:25:50,051
with your stupid punch list,
I don't know
489
00:25:50,184 --> 00:25:52,219
how we're going to be able
to pay the mortgage this month.
490
00:25:52,353 --> 00:25:54,922
Now hold on a minute.
You're the landlord.
491
00:25:55,056 --> 00:25:57,024
You have an obligation
to make repairs
492
00:25:57,158 --> 00:25:58,926
-and provide essential services.
-Like what?
493
00:25:59,060 --> 00:26:02,396
Fix the windows that haven't
been open since the '90s?
494
00:26:02,531 --> 00:26:04,565
Jonathan agreed to
everything on that punch list
495
00:26:04,698 --> 00:26:06,333
when he signed the lease.
496
00:26:06,467 --> 00:26:08,402
Now, if he isn't satisfied
with everything that
497
00:26:08,537 --> 00:26:11,172
my sisters and I have done
to make sure that he is happy,
498
00:26:11,305 --> 00:26:13,774
he can pack up
his speaker system and his Xbox
499
00:26:13,908 --> 00:26:16,077
and he can get
his ass out of my house.
500
00:26:16,210 --> 00:26:17,778
But that's not going to happen--
501
00:26:17,912 --> 00:26:19,213
No, no, I'm not finished.
502
00:26:19,346 --> 00:26:21,115
At least Jonathan is a gentleman
503
00:26:21,248 --> 00:26:23,217
and thanks us
for doing what we can.
504
00:26:23,350 --> 00:26:24,885
You, on the other hand,
505
00:26:25,019 --> 00:26:27,321
are a world class asshole
who wouldn't even help
506
00:26:27,455 --> 00:26:29,457
his own grandmother
cross Bleaker Street.
507
00:26:30,091 --> 00:26:32,626
I know all about your little
plan to buy out the West Village
508
00:26:32,760 --> 00:26:35,096
and turn it into
a hedge funder's Disneyland,
509
00:26:35,229 --> 00:26:38,065
but there is
one house that you are never
510
00:26:38,199 --> 00:26:42,436
getting your hands on,
and that is this one.
511
00:26:42,571 --> 00:26:44,605
Now, get out!
512
00:26:45,406 --> 00:26:46,508
Okay.
513
00:26:47,641 --> 00:26:48,976
So what's the problem?
514
00:26:49,110 --> 00:26:50,644
He pays his rent, doesn't he?
515
00:26:50,778 --> 00:26:52,780
It's not that, really.
It's just--
516
00:26:52,913 --> 00:26:55,584
Every day, George Barrow comes
over to Jonathan's apartment
517
00:26:55,716 --> 00:26:58,385
and finds one more
little thing wrong with it.
518
00:26:58,520 --> 00:27:00,654
One more little thing
that then my sisters and I
519
00:27:00,788 --> 00:27:02,189
have to pay for to repair.
520
00:27:02,823 --> 00:27:04,625
-So, just get Tommy to do it.
-Hmph.
521
00:27:05,626 --> 00:27:07,294
Lord knows he'll do it for free.
522
00:27:08,229 --> 00:27:10,798
So all you gotta do is get
on your little knees and behave.
523
00:27:13,100 --> 00:27:15,970
'Cause if you don't, I will
because that Tommy is hot.
524
00:27:16,103 --> 00:27:18,038
Shut up!
525
00:27:19,608 --> 00:27:21,842
So what?
Tommy and I hooked up one time
526
00:27:21,976 --> 00:27:24,078
at a New Year's Eve party
that I threw at my house.
527
00:27:24,211 --> 00:27:25,880
We were drunk, it didn't count.
528
00:27:26,615 --> 00:27:28,682
And I did ask Tommy
to help me with the repairs,
529
00:27:28,816 --> 00:27:30,484
but he flaked on me
midway through.
530
00:27:31,952 --> 00:27:33,287
Anyway, when George came over
531
00:27:33,420 --> 00:27:35,022
to Jonathan's apartment
yesterday,
532
00:27:35,156 --> 00:27:36,690
he started complaining
about an electrical outlet
533
00:27:36,824 --> 00:27:39,026
that wasn't working
and I just-- I lost it.
534
00:27:40,595 --> 00:27:42,296
Now, I'm afraid
I'm going to lose Jonathan, too.
535
00:27:46,667 --> 00:27:47,835
So what's the plan, honey?
536
00:27:48,503 --> 00:27:50,137
I know you got one.
You always do.
537
00:27:50,971 --> 00:27:52,706
Well, this one's Lydia's idea.
538
00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:55,042
We're going to throw
Jonathan a party on Friday night
539
00:27:55,176 --> 00:27:56,777
at the Little Branch.
540
00:27:56,911 --> 00:27:58,779
Invite some cute girls,
get the guys trashed,
541
00:27:58,913 --> 00:28:00,515
and before they know it,
they'll forget all about
542
00:28:00,649 --> 00:28:02,383
that stupid electrical outlet.
543
00:28:03,450 --> 00:28:06,220
Count me in.
I'll be there with bells on.
544
00:28:06,353 --> 00:28:08,355
Yes!
545
00:28:09,290 --> 00:28:10,357
All right.
546
00:28:17,298 --> 00:28:19,200
Hey, Billie. Sorry, I'm late.
547
00:28:19,333 --> 00:28:21,570
My hair dryer
wasn't working again.
548
00:28:21,702 --> 00:28:23,170
Have you seen Jonathan?
549
00:28:23,304 --> 00:28:25,039
We need to make sure
he's having a good time.
550
00:28:25,172 --> 00:28:27,208
-George too, I guess.
-Yes, ma'am.
551
00:28:27,341 --> 00:28:29,376
I think he's over there
talking to your sister
552
00:28:29,511 --> 00:28:31,212
- and her friends from the gym.
- Come on, George,
553
00:28:31,345 --> 00:28:33,013
-just have one drink.
-Jonathan.
554
00:28:33,147 --> 00:28:35,449
You know that I am training
for the half marathon
555
00:28:35,584 --> 00:28:36,884
in Battery Park next month.
556
00:28:37,418 --> 00:28:39,887
Even one drink
could derail my preparation.
557
00:28:40,020 --> 00:28:41,590
You should try a master cleanse.
558
00:28:41,722 --> 00:28:43,424
Yeah, that worked for me
when I was getting ready
559
00:28:43,558 --> 00:28:45,826
for the Miss International
Triathlon Competition.
560
00:28:45,960 --> 00:28:47,928
For me, it's all about
clean living.
561
00:28:48,829 --> 00:28:51,298
Three meals a day,
eight hours of sleep a night...
562
00:28:52,766 --> 00:28:54,134
five mile run up and down
563
00:28:54,268 --> 00:28:55,903
the West Side Highway
every morning.
564
00:28:56,370 --> 00:28:59,940
Sounds like a very
interesting lifestyle, George,
565
00:29:00,074 --> 00:29:01,610
but what do you do for fun?
566
00:29:03,844 --> 00:29:06,413
Oh, George doesn't believe
in the word "fun."
567
00:29:06,548 --> 00:29:07,881
Yeah, back when
we were in business school,
568
00:29:08,015 --> 00:29:09,483
George was always
hitting the books
569
00:29:09,618 --> 00:29:11,218
while the rest of us
were getting trashed.
570
00:29:11,352 --> 00:29:13,622
That's why he got
the GPA and I got the girls.
571
00:29:16,390 --> 00:29:17,958
Be fair, Jonathan.
572
00:29:18,092 --> 00:29:19,927
You're making me out
to be some kind of hermit.
573
00:29:20,060 --> 00:29:23,565
I'm not looking for a woman
at all at this point in my life.
574
00:29:23,698 --> 00:29:26,233
I'm only here right now because
Jonathan dragged me along.
575
00:29:30,739 --> 00:29:31,939
Did somebody say drag?
576
00:29:34,241 --> 00:29:37,144
I-- I think I have to go.
Big day tomorrow.
577
00:29:37,278 --> 00:29:39,413
Oh, you're not
going anywhere, sweetheart.
578
00:29:41,415 --> 00:29:43,984
Drink this. It'll put
some hair on your chest.
579
00:29:46,688 --> 00:29:49,323
Billie, what are you doing?
You're gonna ruin everything.
580
00:29:49,957 --> 00:29:52,960
George, I hope you can forgive
my sister and her friends.
581
00:29:53,093 --> 00:29:54,663
They're just trying
to show you a good time.
582
00:29:56,330 --> 00:29:57,699
Calm down, Lizzie.
583
00:29:57,831 --> 00:29:59,768
We're just having
a little fun, right?
584
00:29:59,900 --> 00:30:01,569
Yeah.
585
00:30:01,703 --> 00:30:04,872
Now, George, when was
the last time you got laid?
586
00:30:05,439 --> 00:30:07,474
Because even though
Lizzie here thinks
587
00:30:07,609 --> 00:30:09,310
you're a world class asshole,
588
00:30:10,244 --> 00:30:13,113
I think you'll melt
like butter in my mouth.
589
00:30:15,617 --> 00:30:16,950
Bring us another
bottle of Grey Goose.
590
00:30:17,652 --> 00:30:19,953
This is the best party I've
been to in a really long time.
591
00:30:23,758 --> 00:30:25,959
Girlfriend. Like your style.
592
00:30:44,144 --> 00:30:46,013
Ugh, who is it?
593
00:30:56,624 --> 00:30:58,992
-Hello?
-Are you still in bed?
594
00:30:59,126 --> 00:31:01,095
Charlotte, who died?
595
00:31:01,228 --> 00:31:02,963
No one yet,but it's going to be you
596
00:31:03,097 --> 00:31:04,833
if you don't tell mewhy I wasn't invited
597
00:31:04,965 --> 00:31:07,034
to that bash you threwat the Little Branch last night.
598
00:31:07,167 --> 00:31:09,637
I am so sorry. Let me guess.
599
00:31:09,771 --> 00:31:11,939
You read about it in
Townhouse Confidential?
600
00:31:12,072 --> 00:31:14,041
I know. I'm such a nerd.
601
00:31:14,174 --> 00:31:16,711
But still, I am oneof your oldest friends
602
00:31:16,845 --> 00:31:18,479
and I only livetwo doors down the block.
603
00:31:18,613 --> 00:31:20,481
Oh, my head.
604
00:31:21,048 --> 00:31:22,817
By the way,Lizzie, did you get a chance
605
00:31:22,950 --> 00:31:24,885
to check out StraightEasy Personals today?
606
00:31:25,018 --> 00:31:28,623
Charlotte, I told you, I am done
with those dating sites.
607
00:31:28,757 --> 00:31:30,391
Hold on a minute.
608
00:31:30,525 --> 00:31:33,260
The guy in this ad heresounds perfect for you.
609
00:31:33,394 --> 00:31:35,663
Ready? Real estate pro.
610
00:31:35,797 --> 00:31:38,867
Fed up with cheatersand game players.
611
00:31:38,999 --> 00:31:40,200
Me, too.
612
00:31:40,334 --> 00:31:43,872
He's 34, 6'2,
613
00:31:44,004 --> 00:31:46,974
190, sensitive,sincere, and single.
614
00:31:47,107 --> 00:31:50,110
"My ideal date would beto come over to your place,
615
00:31:50,244 --> 00:31:53,515
whip up some spaghetticarbonara, wash the dishes,
616
00:31:53,648 --> 00:31:56,183
put them away,then I would carry you to bed,
617
00:31:56,316 --> 00:32:01,088
give you a relaxing massage,and bang you all night long."
618
00:32:01,221 --> 00:32:04,124
Charlotte,
that has to be a joke.
619
00:32:04,258 --> 00:32:08,696
There is no guy who's like that,
who's single and straight
620
00:32:08,830 --> 00:32:11,365
and smart and good looking
and lives in New York City.
621
00:32:11,498 --> 00:32:13,100
Well,it's your call, Lizzie.
622
00:32:13,233 --> 00:32:15,102
Like they say in thoselotto commercials,
623
00:32:15,235 --> 00:32:16,937
you got to be in it to win it.
624
00:32:17,070 --> 00:32:19,406
I'm going to bed now, okay?
625
00:32:19,541 --> 00:32:21,442
Goodbye.
626
00:33:07,221 --> 00:33:09,791
-Elizabeth Perry?
-Do I know you?
627
00:33:09,924 --> 00:33:13,427
Sal, Sal Carmine.
You answered my ad, right?
628
00:33:13,561 --> 00:33:15,162
Oh, sorry.
629
00:33:15,295 --> 00:33:17,866
I was expecting someone
a little bit different.
630
00:33:20,267 --> 00:33:22,236
Perhaps a little bit taller?
631
00:33:22,369 --> 00:33:25,339
Yeah, I get that a lot.
That's why I put 6'2.
632
00:33:25,840 --> 00:33:30,879
You know, chicks are genetically
programmed to dig taller guys.
633
00:33:31,011 --> 00:33:32,379
-Are we?
-Guys like me,
634
00:33:32,514 --> 00:33:34,014
in the 5'6 and under club,
635
00:33:34,147 --> 00:33:35,917
we don't stand a chance.
636
00:33:36,049 --> 00:33:38,051
Yeah, and I did my homework
on those dating sites, too.
637
00:33:38,185 --> 00:33:43,323
Chicks don't like: bald guys,
fat guys, or married guys.
638
00:33:43,457 --> 00:33:45,627
They like
the Prince Charming type.
639
00:33:45,760 --> 00:33:49,229
You know, like Mark Darcy
from the Bridget Jones Diary.
640
00:33:49,363 --> 00:33:51,198
Hold on a second.
Are you married?
641
00:33:51,331 --> 00:33:53,100
Yeah.
642
00:33:53,701 --> 00:33:56,403
I got three kids in
Catholic school on Long Island.
643
00:33:56,538 --> 00:33:58,205
Don't get me
started on the tuition.
644
00:33:58,840 --> 00:34:00,975
You know, my wife,
she's a decent cook,
645
00:34:01,108 --> 00:34:02,409
but she don't want
to give me head
646
00:34:02,544 --> 00:34:04,211
unless I bathe
her toes in Guccis.
647
00:34:04,344 --> 00:34:06,213
Yeah, so I thought, you know,
getting on a dating site
648
00:34:06,346 --> 00:34:08,683
would be a hell of a lot
cheaper than hiring a hooker.
649
00:34:08,816 --> 00:34:10,718
Oh, my God. You are disgusting!
I'm out of here!
650
00:34:10,852 --> 00:34:12,219
Wait, come here.
Where you going?
651
00:34:12,854 --> 00:34:15,289
Come on, let's go back to
my Lexus, I got a big back seat.
652
00:34:15,422 --> 00:34:17,592
I-- What are we,
in high school? Absolutely not.
653
00:34:17,725 --> 00:34:19,092
You know you want me, baby.
654
00:34:19,226 --> 00:34:20,762
- Come on.
- I do not.
655
00:34:20,895 --> 00:34:22,462
Let me play
connect the dots on your shirt.
656
00:34:22,597 --> 00:34:24,398
Oh, my God. Get away
from my house, you creep.
657
00:34:26,233 --> 00:34:29,737
Take my card.
I'm a licensed mortgage broker.
658
00:34:30,572 --> 00:34:32,040
Do you need
to refinance your loan?
659
00:34:32,172 --> 00:34:33,741
I'll get you
the cheapest rates in town.
660
00:34:33,875 --> 00:34:35,275
My loan's just fine, thank you.
661
00:34:35,409 --> 00:34:37,277
Listen,
by the look of your house,
662
00:34:37,411 --> 00:34:39,514
it looks like you're going
to need some renovations.
663
00:34:39,647 --> 00:34:42,550
And you? You look like
you seriously need to get laid.
664
00:34:42,684 --> 00:34:44,217
Oh. Goodbye.
665
00:34:44,986 --> 00:34:46,453
- Call me.
- Never!
666
00:34:51,859 --> 00:34:53,093
ConEd bill.
667
00:34:53,695 --> 00:34:56,064
Ooh, Pottery Barn catalog. Okay.
668
00:34:56,196 --> 00:34:57,732
Green Piece solicitation.
669
00:34:58,700 --> 00:35:00,802
Hudson River Bank? What?
670
00:35:14,114 --> 00:35:15,415
Default?
671
00:35:17,250 --> 00:35:21,355
Forclose-- What? Oh, my God.
672
00:35:36,136 --> 00:35:37,905
Good morning, Lizzie.
673
00:35:38,039 --> 00:35:40,074
Oh, don't you think
it's a little early
674
00:35:40,207 --> 00:35:42,442
in the day to be drinking alone?
675
00:35:42,577 --> 00:35:44,344
Good news.
676
00:35:46,814 --> 00:35:49,584
So, anyway, what did you
want to talk to me about?
677
00:35:49,717 --> 00:35:52,954
-Is it business or personal?
-Both.
678
00:35:53,087 --> 00:35:56,524
Turns out my Prince Charming
from the Street Easy Personals
679
00:35:56,658 --> 00:35:59,994
was a married creep
from Long Island.
680
00:36:00,695 --> 00:36:03,531
And then, I got a love letter
yesterday from the bank
681
00:36:03,665 --> 00:36:05,733
saying that they're going
to repossess the house.
682
00:36:07,267 --> 00:36:08,435
The bank sent you
a foreclosure notice?
683
00:36:08,569 --> 00:36:10,104
Yup.
684
00:36:10,237 --> 00:36:11,539
The mortgage payment
is supposed to come out
685
00:36:11,673 --> 00:36:13,541
of your checking
account every month.
686
00:36:13,675 --> 00:36:15,208
Have you been receiving any
calls from collection agencies?
687
00:36:15,342 --> 00:36:16,978
No. Ever since
you set me up on autopay,
688
00:36:17,111 --> 00:36:18,613
I haven't missed a payment.
689
00:36:18,746 --> 00:36:19,947
You're not only
a great friend, Charlotte,
690
00:36:20,081 --> 00:36:21,115
you are an excellent bookkeeper.
691
00:36:21,248 --> 00:36:22,416
I know.
692
00:36:23,718 --> 00:36:24,919
Hold on a minute.
693
00:36:25,987 --> 00:36:27,689
Remember that time you went
to the Hudson River Bank
694
00:36:27,822 --> 00:36:29,691
and I helped you apply
for a home equity credit line?
695
00:36:29,824 --> 00:36:31,559
-Yeah.
-Whatever happened with that?
696
00:36:31,693 --> 00:36:33,661
The bank gave us
a $100,000 line of credit,
697
00:36:33,795 --> 00:36:35,262
but I never used it.
698
00:36:35,395 --> 00:36:36,831
You know how I feel
about borrowing money
699
00:36:36,964 --> 00:36:38,331
that I can't pay back.
700
00:36:38,465 --> 00:36:40,001
The bank sent us
a book of checks,
701
00:36:40,134 --> 00:36:42,136
which I put in my desk
drawer and never touched.
702
00:36:51,211 --> 00:36:53,246
No!
703
00:36:54,749 --> 00:36:56,416
So then, I turn around
704
00:36:56,551 --> 00:36:59,286
and this dude was like,
"Hey, can I buy you shot?"
705
00:36:59,419 --> 00:37:01,556
He was so hot.
You probably saw him.
706
00:37:01,689 --> 00:37:04,257
He just left, actually.
707
00:37:05,827 --> 00:37:07,695
Another family meeting.
708
00:37:07,829 --> 00:37:11,532
We haven't spent this much time
together since Mom and Dad died.
709
00:37:15,402 --> 00:37:18,072
Lydia, sit down.
This is serious.
710
00:37:24,846 --> 00:37:27,582
Somebody stole the checkbook
for our home equity credit line
711
00:37:27,715 --> 00:37:28,950
out of my desk drawer.
712
00:37:29,083 --> 00:37:31,485
What? How did you
let that happen?
713
00:37:31,619 --> 00:37:33,554
Me? Maybe you would know
something about this
714
00:37:33,688 --> 00:37:35,223
if you weren't
so drunk last night.
715
00:37:35,388 --> 00:37:36,824
-So this is my fault?
-Well, maybe,
716
00:37:36,958 --> 00:37:38,926
you're the only one
who lets in random men
717
00:37:39,060 --> 00:37:40,393
at three o'clock in the morning.
718
00:37:40,528 --> 00:37:42,930
Sisters, please,
can we just work together
719
00:37:43,064 --> 00:37:44,732
for, like, five minutes?
720
00:37:44,866 --> 00:37:46,466
You're right, Mary.
721
00:37:46,601 --> 00:37:48,136
The home equity credit line
that we took out
722
00:37:48,268 --> 00:37:50,303
gives the bank the right
to sell our house
723
00:37:50,437 --> 00:37:52,540
after three missed
mortgage payments.
724
00:37:52,673 --> 00:37:56,844
That means we have seven days
to come up with $100,000.
725
00:37:56,978 --> 00:37:59,312
$100,000?
726
00:37:59,446 --> 00:38:02,250
No. No. You're so stupid, Liz.
727
00:38:02,382 --> 00:38:04,317
I studied mortgage
financing at NYU,
728
00:38:04,451 --> 00:38:06,419
and I can tell you that
a bank can't just foreclose
729
00:38:06,554 --> 00:38:08,022
on your house after
a couple of missed payments.
730
00:38:08,156 --> 00:38:09,690
-It could take years.
-No, Lydia,
731
00:38:09,824 --> 00:38:11,659
there's a clause
in our contract.
732
00:38:11,793 --> 00:38:13,460
The three strikes
you're out rule.
733
00:38:13,594 --> 00:38:15,462
I guess that's why the guys
over at Hudson River Bank
734
00:38:15,596 --> 00:38:16,964
gave us such a great rate.
735
00:38:17,098 --> 00:38:18,666
But that's mortgage fraud.
736
00:38:18,800 --> 00:38:20,802
We could sue them or expose them
737
00:38:20,935 --> 00:38:22,804
on the Daily Beast or BuzzFeed.
738
00:38:22,937 --> 00:38:24,471
I think we need
to go to the police.
739
00:38:24,605 --> 00:38:26,007
Okay. Don't worry.
740
00:38:26,140 --> 00:38:27,474
I know some guys down at the gym
741
00:38:27,608 --> 00:38:29,210
who will be happy
to bail us out.
742
00:38:29,342 --> 00:38:31,145
I'll put out the word on
Townhouse Confidential.
743
00:38:31,279 --> 00:38:33,047
Are you kidding me? Fine.
744
00:38:33,181 --> 00:38:35,216
I will go down there and talk
to Detective Ortiz myself.
745
00:38:45,492 --> 00:38:46,761
Detective Ortiz.
746
00:38:46,894 --> 00:38:48,296
Oh, dios mio.
747
00:38:48,428 --> 00:38:51,364
Elizabeth Perry. We meet again.
748
00:38:51,498 --> 00:38:53,167
You remember me?
749
00:38:53,301 --> 00:38:56,971
How could I forget a damsel
who's always in distress?
750
00:38:57,104 --> 00:38:58,506
What is it this time?
751
00:38:58,639 --> 00:39:00,074
Your-- your grandmother's
pearl necklace?
752
00:39:00,208 --> 00:39:01,809
Your sister's diamond earring?
753
00:39:02,276 --> 00:39:04,411
A solar eclipse
over Washington Square park?
754
00:39:04,545 --> 00:39:05,813
No, Detective Ortiz.
755
00:39:05,947 --> 00:39:07,682
This time
it's something serious.
756
00:39:07,815 --> 00:39:10,251
Someone broke into our house
and stole the checkbook
757
00:39:10,383 --> 00:39:11,586
for our home equity credit line.
758
00:39:11,719 --> 00:39:13,453
They wrote a bunch of checks
759
00:39:13,588 --> 00:39:15,289
and drained all of the equity
out of our townhouse.
760
00:39:15,455 --> 00:39:17,124
Now, the bank wants
to take the house
761
00:39:17,258 --> 00:39:18,726
because we haven't been
making payments on the money
762
00:39:18,860 --> 00:39:20,294
that we didn't know we borrowed.
763
00:39:20,427 --> 00:39:21,796
Tragic.
764
00:39:21,929 --> 00:39:24,031
When did this happen?
Last night?
765
00:39:24,165 --> 00:39:26,667
I don't know. I just noticed the
checkbook missing this morning,
766
00:39:26,801 --> 00:39:28,236
but it could
have happened months ago.
767
00:39:28,368 --> 00:39:31,005
Do you have any idea
who might have taken it?
768
00:39:31,138 --> 00:39:33,241
Has anyone unusual been
to the houses recently?
769
00:39:33,908 --> 00:39:36,010
A plumber? A FedEx guy?
770
00:39:36,143 --> 00:39:37,845
Professor Dumbledore?
771
00:39:37,979 --> 00:39:39,847
Well, my sister,
Lydia, does bring home
772
00:39:39,981 --> 00:39:41,448
all these random men
just about every weekend.
773
00:39:41,582 --> 00:39:43,517
-Oh, yeah.
-And then on New Year's,
774
00:39:43,651 --> 00:39:46,153
there was this handyman
775
00:39:46,287 --> 00:39:48,055
and a lot of champagne
and a couple cupcakes--
776
00:39:48,189 --> 00:39:49,489
No.
777
00:39:49,624 --> 00:39:50,658
Here's my card.
778
00:39:51,859 --> 00:39:54,394
If you think of any more
information, give me a call.
779
00:39:54,528 --> 00:39:57,231
In the meantime,
if we see anybody walking down
780
00:39:57,365 --> 00:39:59,667
Bleaker Street
with a suitcase full of cash,
781
00:39:59,800 --> 00:40:01,202
we'll give you a call.
782
00:40:05,673 --> 00:40:07,942
Well, Jim,
I think we'll both will agree
783
00:40:08,075 --> 00:40:10,311
that I've added a lot
of value to the development
784
00:40:10,443 --> 00:40:11,879
of the Chick Stalkers app.
785
00:40:12,013 --> 00:40:14,081
I mean, come on,
downloads have gone way up
786
00:40:14,215 --> 00:40:16,717
now that I've clued you
into what women really want.
787
00:40:16,851 --> 00:40:18,552
Didn't really expect
to get a sales pitch
788
00:40:18,686 --> 00:40:19,954
this early in the morning.
789
00:40:21,088 --> 00:40:22,523
That's not
what I'm talking about.
790
00:40:23,357 --> 00:40:24,725
Okay, okay. You know what?
791
00:40:24,859 --> 00:40:26,560
I will talk to my DCs
and I will see
792
00:40:26,694 --> 00:40:28,396
if I can get you
some friends and family shares
793
00:40:28,529 --> 00:40:30,131
before we go on the roadshow.
794
00:40:30,264 --> 00:40:32,934
How can you think of money
at a time like this, Jim?
795
00:40:33,067 --> 00:40:35,937
Can't you see that
what I'm really looking for...
796
00:40:36,737 --> 00:40:38,105
is love?
797
00:40:38,639 --> 00:40:40,574
- Love?
- Mm-hm.
798
00:40:40,708 --> 00:40:42,677
But you told me
you were the hookup queen
799
00:40:42,810 --> 00:40:44,345
of the West Village.
800
00:40:44,477 --> 00:40:45,813
That's where you got
all those great ideas
801
00:40:45,947 --> 00:40:47,214
for Chick Stalkers, right?
802
00:40:47,882 --> 00:40:51,585
Yes, but now that
I've met you, Jim, I've changed.
803
00:40:52,286 --> 00:40:56,624
Now all I want is to
settle down with a man I love,
804
00:40:56,757 --> 00:41:01,429
cuddle up in our 25 foot wide
townhouse west of 7th Avenue,
805
00:41:01,562 --> 00:41:04,365
and just pump out
lots of babies.
806
00:41:05,166 --> 00:41:07,368
I see you've been
reading my Bumble profile.
807
00:41:08,169 --> 00:41:13,441
It's true. I want to settle down
with a nice, old fashioned girl.
808
00:41:13,574 --> 00:41:15,176
But, Lydia...
809
00:41:15,309 --> 00:41:17,144
unless you've had
a personality transplant
810
00:41:17,278 --> 00:41:20,781
in the last 24 hours,
that girl is just not you.
811
00:41:21,916 --> 00:41:25,920
You look scorching hot
in those Lululemon shorts,
812
00:41:26,053 --> 00:41:29,489
but I love you for your mind.
813
00:41:29,623 --> 00:41:31,859
-Do you want the truth?
-Yes.
814
00:41:31,993 --> 00:41:33,461
Well, okay.
815
00:41:34,095 --> 00:41:36,664
Somebody stole the checkbook
for our home equity credit line
816
00:41:36,797 --> 00:41:39,333
off of my sister Lizzie's desk
and now we have to get
817
00:41:39,467 --> 00:41:42,169
our hands on $100,000
by next week
818
00:41:42,303 --> 00:41:44,005
or the bank takes our house.
819
00:41:44,505 --> 00:41:46,540
Well, that's terrible.
I had no idea.
820
00:41:46,674 --> 00:41:50,611
You know, I actually really
hate that stupid brownstone
821
00:41:50,745 --> 00:41:52,179
that we inherited
from our parents.
822
00:41:52,313 --> 00:41:54,382
But my sisters won't sell it
823
00:41:54,515 --> 00:41:55,950
and I'm the only one
in the house
824
00:41:56,083 --> 00:41:59,186
who has any brains
or makes any money.
825
00:42:01,422 --> 00:42:02,857
You're trying
to help your sisters?
826
00:42:03,524 --> 00:42:05,359
You really
do have family values.
827
00:42:05,493 --> 00:42:06,761
My sweet Lydia.
828
00:42:08,229 --> 00:42:09,897
I never would have guessed.
829
00:42:27,782 --> 00:42:29,250
I hope you like it.
830
00:42:29,383 --> 00:42:31,318
-Cheers.
-Cheers.
831
00:42:35,524 --> 00:42:38,392
Wow, those cupcakes
look so good.
832
00:42:39,160 --> 00:42:40,561
You know, I love a woman
833
00:42:40,694 --> 00:42:42,263
who knows her way
around the kitchen.
834
00:42:42,396 --> 00:42:45,433
Oh, I didn't make those myself,
I just iced them.
835
00:42:45,566 --> 00:42:47,868
I'm the assistant chief
manager at Magnolia Bakery.
836
00:42:48,002 --> 00:42:49,837
Our bakers bake
those fresh every day.
837
00:42:50,704 --> 00:42:52,873
I bet you your oven
is pretty fresh.
838
00:42:53,007 --> 00:42:55,676
My oven is actually off. Thanks.
839
00:42:56,177 --> 00:42:57,512
You know what?
840
00:42:57,645 --> 00:42:58,879
Let's get down to business,
shall we?
841
00:42:59,013 --> 00:43:00,881
I would love that. Yes, please.
842
00:43:01,015 --> 00:43:06,821
So, how much money do you make
working at this cupcake shop?
843
00:43:06,954 --> 00:43:09,256
I get $17 an hour
plus a share of the tip jar.
844
00:43:09,390 --> 00:43:12,460
And Magnolia's
isn't just a cupcake shop.
845
00:43:12,593 --> 00:43:14,428
Tourists come from
all over the world to taste
846
00:43:14,563 --> 00:43:17,665
the baked goods that put
Sex in the City on the map.
847
00:43:20,367 --> 00:43:23,037
All right, well,
how about your sisters?
848
00:43:23,505 --> 00:43:25,706
What do they contribute
to the household income?
849
00:43:25,840 --> 00:43:29,810
I'd say altogether we bring in
about $125,000 a year.
850
00:43:29,944 --> 00:43:31,580
Okay, based on your income
851
00:43:31,712 --> 00:43:34,115
and the rent you're getting
from the apartment,
852
00:43:34,248 --> 00:43:35,816
I could probably
get you a new mortgage in,
853
00:43:35,950 --> 00:43:38,919
you know, like, say,
a couple of months.
854
00:43:40,221 --> 00:43:42,857
Oh, um... we actually
need it by next week.
855
00:43:42,990 --> 00:43:45,459
Otherwise the bank
is going to take our house.
856
00:43:51,232 --> 00:43:52,534
Oh.
857
00:43:52,666 --> 00:43:54,835
Well, you know,
858
00:43:54,969 --> 00:43:57,238
I could maybe talk to the bank.
859
00:43:57,371 --> 00:43:59,006
Oh, yeah.
860
00:43:59,140 --> 00:44:02,910
-And maybe speed up the process.
-That would be great.
861
00:44:03,043 --> 00:44:06,413
If there's just, like,
one thing you could do for me.
862
00:44:06,548 --> 00:44:08,382
Oh, um, Sal.
I'm not that kind of girl.
863
00:44:08,983 --> 00:44:10,552
Oh. Looks like
the power went out.
864
00:44:10,684 --> 00:44:12,486
Better go check on that.
You know your way out.
865
00:44:12,621 --> 00:44:14,523
I'll get you
that mortgage right away.
866
00:44:21,262 --> 00:44:22,663
- Who's there?
- Ah! Oh, my God.
867
00:44:22,796 --> 00:44:24,398
This is my house. Who are you?
868
00:44:25,065 --> 00:44:26,834
George Barrow?
869
00:44:26,967 --> 00:44:29,036
You think you can just burst
in here whenever you please?
870
00:44:29,170 --> 00:44:30,971
Well, I could
just as easily ask you
871
00:44:31,105 --> 00:44:32,607
the same question, Elizabeth.
872
00:44:32,740 --> 00:44:34,609
The lease Jonathan signed
does not permit you
873
00:44:34,742 --> 00:44:37,444
to enter his apartment without
three days written notice
874
00:44:37,579 --> 00:44:38,613
unless there's an emergency.
875
00:44:38,746 --> 00:44:40,515
Oh, there was an emergency.
876
00:44:40,649 --> 00:44:42,416
And the last time I checked,
877
00:44:42,551 --> 00:44:44,586
your name is not on the lease
as an additional occupant.
878
00:44:44,718 --> 00:44:47,421
So, why did you come over here
unannounced on a Saturday night?
879
00:44:47,556 --> 00:44:50,525
I came here
to fix that faulty outlet
880
00:44:50,659 --> 00:44:52,426
you and your contractor
could never seem to fix
881
00:44:52,561 --> 00:44:55,996
before Jonathan flies back
from California tomorrow night.
882
00:44:56,130 --> 00:44:58,232
And then
the electricity went out.
883
00:45:02,504 --> 00:45:04,405
Oh. Damn it.
884
00:45:06,040 --> 00:45:08,742
Yep. Yeah.
That's an entire blackout.
885
00:45:08,876 --> 00:45:10,579
Yeah, all of Lower Manhattan.
886
00:45:10,711 --> 00:45:12,780
Okay, okay,
887
00:45:12,913 --> 00:45:14,782
well, now Jonathan won't have
any electricity at all.
888
00:45:16,150 --> 00:45:17,351
Do you happen
to have a generator?
889
00:45:17,918 --> 00:45:20,187
No, but I might have
some leftover firewood
890
00:45:20,321 --> 00:45:21,590
from Hurricane Sandy.
891
00:45:22,557 --> 00:45:24,124
-Oh, you were here for that?
-Yeah.
892
00:45:24,258 --> 00:45:26,060
I was in this house
for six days with nothing.
893
00:45:26,193 --> 00:45:27,928
-It was awful.
-Oh, I remember.
894
00:45:28,062 --> 00:45:31,999
Yeah. I made a fire
in my townhouse for Sandy.
895
00:45:32,634 --> 00:45:37,104
Oh. Would you
want to make one here for me?
896
00:45:38,739 --> 00:45:41,342
Yes. Yes, I would.
897
00:45:42,142 --> 00:45:43,645
All right. Follow me.
898
00:45:44,445 --> 00:45:45,647
Okay.
899
00:45:46,548 --> 00:45:47,582
-Well, cheers to you.
-Cheers.
900
00:45:51,686 --> 00:45:53,722
I mean, I guess I am partial
to dormer windows
901
00:45:53,854 --> 00:45:55,856
because I grew up in
a federal style townhouse,
902
00:45:55,990 --> 00:46:00,127
but still, Greek revival,
it leaves me cold.
903
00:46:00,261 --> 00:46:01,895
Oh, same here.
904
00:46:02,029 --> 00:46:04,031
You know those Italianate
brownstones on 9th street?
905
00:46:04,164 --> 00:46:06,800
I think they should be
banished to Brooklyn Heights.
906
00:46:08,603 --> 00:46:11,372
I have no idea you were
a townhouse junkie, too.
907
00:46:12,006 --> 00:46:13,742
Born and bred
right here in the West Village.
908
00:46:14,542 --> 00:46:16,410
It's funny that
we've never hung out before.
909
00:46:18,279 --> 00:46:20,281
Two sides to the story,
though, right?
910
00:46:20,414 --> 00:46:22,316
I mean, on the one hand,
everybody hates you
911
00:46:22,449 --> 00:46:24,251
because you get
to live in your own
912
00:46:24,385 --> 00:46:26,621
little castle
in the West Village.
913
00:46:27,154 --> 00:46:30,457
But on the other hand,
there's a million problems
914
00:46:30,592 --> 00:46:32,826
to deal with every single day.
915
00:46:32,960 --> 00:46:34,962
Yeah, for me,
those problems are mice
916
00:46:35,095 --> 00:46:37,998
and bugs and the radiators
that hiss all winter long.
917
00:46:39,066 --> 00:46:42,303
But what problems could you
possibly have, George Barrow?
918
00:46:43,037 --> 00:46:44,673
Oh, trust me.
919
00:46:44,805 --> 00:46:47,474
Being the crown prince
of West Village real estate
920
00:46:47,609 --> 00:46:49,476
is not all
it's cracked out to be.
921
00:46:49,611 --> 00:46:52,514
Oh, why not? Because you have to
share your castle with a queen?
922
00:46:54,315 --> 00:46:55,983
Don't even get me
started on my mother.
923
00:46:57,017 --> 00:46:58,520
She's the one who
wants to build a dynasty
924
00:46:58,653 --> 00:47:00,821
in the West Village, not me.
925
00:47:01,822 --> 00:47:06,493
All I ever wanted was
to be an architect like my dad.
926
00:47:09,564 --> 00:47:10,864
Oh, um...
927
00:47:10,998 --> 00:47:14,168
Oh, my. Look at this. All right.
928
00:47:19,708 --> 00:47:21,743
-That's a good one.
-That's a large pour.
929
00:47:21,875 --> 00:47:23,511
A village pour.
I'm gonna take that..
930
00:47:25,212 --> 00:47:26,715
Cheers.
931
00:47:29,784 --> 00:47:31,018
Let's play a game.
932
00:47:31,952 --> 00:47:33,320
- Okay.
- Okay.
933
00:47:41,428 --> 00:47:43,297
113 Bedford.
934
00:47:44,666 --> 00:47:46,634
Date and builder.
935
00:47:47,368 --> 00:47:48,603
That's too easy.
936
00:47:48,737 --> 00:47:50,170
There's a plaque on the facade
937
00:47:50,304 --> 00:47:52,239
that I see every day
on my way to work.
938
00:47:52,373 --> 00:47:54,408
George Harrison, 1842.
939
00:47:54,542 --> 00:47:56,377
-Not the singer.
-Correct.
940
00:47:57,010 --> 00:47:58,946
-Your turn.
-Okay.
941
00:47:59,079 --> 00:48:01,248
Ooh, skinniest house
in the West Village.
942
00:48:01,716 --> 00:48:04,218
Oh, come on, Lizzie,
everybody knows that one.
943
00:48:04,853 --> 00:48:06,755
75 and a half Bedford,
944
00:48:06,887 --> 00:48:08,723
nine and a half feet wide.
945
00:48:09,456 --> 00:48:11,325
The Edna St. Vincent
Millay House.
946
00:48:15,697 --> 00:48:16,897
Okay.
947
00:48:19,166 --> 00:48:20,367
How about this one?
948
00:48:22,069 --> 00:48:23,805
59 Morton.
949
00:48:25,906 --> 00:48:27,809
You've actually been
inside this townhouse before.
950
00:48:27,941 --> 00:48:29,577
Although you
probably don't remember.
951
00:48:31,044 --> 00:48:33,581
It was a very long time ago.
You were very little.
952
00:48:36,417 --> 00:48:37,685
I'll give you a clue.
953
00:48:39,587 --> 00:48:40,789
Birthday party.
954
00:48:42,423 --> 00:48:43,792
The stairs.
955
00:48:45,560 --> 00:48:47,928
Liz, are you asleep?
956
00:48:50,030 --> 00:48:51,566
Lizzie?
957
00:49:31,071 --> 00:49:32,540
Uh, Tommy Leroy?
958
00:49:32,674 --> 00:49:34,676
What the hell
are you doing here?
959
00:49:35,810 --> 00:49:37,244
The power went out last night
960
00:49:37,377 --> 00:49:39,112
and didn't come
back on this morning.
961
00:49:39,246 --> 00:49:41,783
I figured I'd drop by and check
on you and your sisters.
962
00:49:41,916 --> 00:49:43,183
Three girls alone in a townhouse
963
00:49:43,317 --> 00:49:45,587
might need
a man to help out, eh?
964
00:49:45,720 --> 00:49:47,154
In your dreams.
965
00:49:47,287 --> 00:49:49,289
Get out of here
before I call the cops.
966
00:49:49,423 --> 00:49:51,158
With what?
967
00:49:51,291 --> 00:49:52,827
A cell phone that's
losing charge by the second?
968
00:49:54,696 --> 00:49:58,800
Ooh, looks like somebody
started the party without me.
969
00:49:58,933 --> 00:50:00,535
Mind if I poured myself a glass?
970
00:50:18,085 --> 00:50:19,453
That's right.
971
00:50:19,587 --> 00:50:22,389
George Barrow
was here last night
972
00:50:22,524 --> 00:50:25,092
to fix the electrical outlet
that you said
973
00:50:25,225 --> 00:50:27,662
-you fixed two weeks ago.
-Unbelievable.
974
00:50:27,795 --> 00:50:29,496
George Barrow was here?
975
00:50:29,631 --> 00:50:31,365
I thought you hated him
and everything he stood for.
976
00:50:31,498 --> 00:50:34,067
You've hooked up with
every girl in the West Village.
977
00:50:34,201 --> 00:50:36,336
You can't possibly
expect for me to sit around
978
00:50:36,470 --> 00:50:39,239
and wait for you to show up
and fix what's wrong down there.
979
00:50:40,642 --> 00:50:42,409
In the garden apartment!
980
00:50:42,544 --> 00:50:45,713
You really expect me
to believe that George Barrow
981
00:50:45,847 --> 00:50:47,515
just happened to drop by
on a Saturday night?
982
00:50:47,649 --> 00:50:49,551
Well, yeah, because
that's exactly what happened.
983
00:50:50,450 --> 00:50:52,252
And now that I'm getting
to know George better,
984
00:50:52,386 --> 00:50:55,757
I can see that he's not just
some money grubbing developer.
985
00:50:56,390 --> 00:50:59,794
He's a real gentleman
who's kind and caring
986
00:50:59,928 --> 00:51:03,363
and shares my passion
for cornices and dormer windows.
987
00:51:04,364 --> 00:51:07,100
He's not just some
fly by night handyman
988
00:51:07,234 --> 00:51:09,571
who looks really good
in a pair of skinny jeans.
989
00:51:09,704 --> 00:51:11,005
Whoa!
990
00:51:12,040 --> 00:51:15,075
You're so
incredibly naive, Liz Perry.
991
00:51:15,208 --> 00:51:16,878
You have no idea
who George Barrow is
992
00:51:17,011 --> 00:51:19,514
-or what he's capable of doing.
-So, enlighten me.
993
00:51:19,647 --> 00:51:20,848
I'd be happy to.
994
00:51:25,252 --> 00:51:28,155
George Barrow may be
a West Village blue blood,
995
00:51:28,288 --> 00:51:30,658
but he's not the only one
who grew up in a townhouse.
996
00:51:31,391 --> 00:51:34,963
Wait a minute.
You grew up in a townhouse?
997
00:51:37,966 --> 00:51:39,934
My father was the Barrow
family's property manager
998
00:51:40,068 --> 00:51:41,134
when I was growing up.
999
00:51:43,004 --> 00:51:45,907
The Barrow's lived
in the owner's triplex up top.
1000
00:51:46,941 --> 00:51:48,610
My dad and I lived
in the garden apartment
1001
00:51:48,743 --> 00:51:49,911
underneath the stoop.
1002
00:51:51,946 --> 00:51:53,047
Go on.
1003
00:51:54,381 --> 00:51:57,351
When we were little,
George and I were really close.
1004
00:51:59,252 --> 00:52:00,822
Practically like brothers.
1005
00:52:03,457 --> 00:52:05,660
But after old man Barrow
got killed in a crane collapse
1006
00:52:05,793 --> 00:52:08,161
on his way to see
one of my construction sites,
1007
00:52:08,295 --> 00:52:09,764
George blamed me.
1008
00:52:11,065 --> 00:52:13,166
Then, he asked me to move
out of my dad's apartment
1009
00:52:13,300 --> 00:52:15,970
so his contractor
could do some renovations.
1010
00:52:17,437 --> 00:52:21,843
I floated on couches
for a year before I realized
1011
00:52:21,976 --> 00:52:23,678
he was never going to
let me move back home.
1012
00:52:23,811 --> 00:52:25,913
That's awful. I had no idea.
1013
00:52:26,814 --> 00:52:28,348
Eventually, I found
a sublet in the story
1014
00:52:28,482 --> 00:52:29,717
with a couple of guys from work.
1015
00:52:31,485 --> 00:52:35,123
I had no idea that George Barrow
was such a monster.
1016
00:52:37,290 --> 00:52:39,560
- Did you take him to court?
- Yeah.
1017
00:52:39,694 --> 00:52:41,461
I hired a lawyer and everything.
1018
00:52:41,596 --> 00:52:45,332
By then,
George had already
1019
00:52:45,465 --> 00:52:47,935
finished the renovation
and turned it
1020
00:52:48,069 --> 00:52:51,304
into a single-family home
worth triple what it was before.
1021
00:52:53,340 --> 00:52:54,441
Yeah.
1022
00:52:55,409 --> 00:52:58,278
He sent me a check for ten grand
1023
00:52:58,412 --> 00:53:01,415
to settle
and I signed the release.
1024
00:53:04,484 --> 00:53:07,722
But what could George Barrow
possibly want with me?
1025
00:53:10,825 --> 00:53:12,527
Don't you get it, Lizzie?
1026
00:53:12,660 --> 00:53:14,862
He's buying up every
decent house in the West Village
1027
00:53:14,996 --> 00:53:16,798
to combine them
and sell them to billionaires
1028
00:53:16,931 --> 00:53:18,666
who want 50-footers.
1029
00:53:18,800 --> 00:53:20,500
Most of your neighbors
have already agreed to sell him
1030
00:53:20,635 --> 00:53:22,537
their properties
once he comes up the money.
1031
00:53:22,670 --> 00:53:24,172
Yeah, sure, that's old news.
1032
00:53:24,304 --> 00:53:26,140
I read it in
Townhouse Confidential.
1033
00:53:27,008 --> 00:53:29,409
Okay, I guess you
haven't read the latest post.
1034
00:53:30,912 --> 00:53:32,613
"Last Townhouse Standing.
1035
00:53:33,246 --> 00:53:36,050
"The Townhouse confidential
grapevine is buzzing with news
1036
00:53:36,184 --> 00:53:38,418
"that mega builder,
George Barrow, has the hots
1037
00:53:38,553 --> 00:53:41,055
"for a shy little townhouse
on Washington Place
1038
00:53:41,189 --> 00:53:42,824
"to add to his portfolio.
1039
00:53:43,891 --> 00:53:45,893
"Barrow is just
days away from closing
1040
00:53:46,027 --> 00:53:48,428
"on a $100 million fund
to purchase dozens
1041
00:53:48,563 --> 00:53:51,866
"of the biggest and best
townhouses in the West Village,
1042
00:53:51,999 --> 00:53:55,203
"but needs the mid-block beauty
to seal the deal.
1043
00:53:55,335 --> 00:53:58,405
"Odds are three to one
that the sisters will say no.
1044
00:53:58,539 --> 00:54:00,742
"Will gentlemen George
up his offer?"
1045
00:54:00,875 --> 00:54:02,610
I assume that's why
he came by last night,
1046
00:54:02,744 --> 00:54:04,078
to wine and dine you.
1047
00:54:04,212 --> 00:54:06,279
I cannot believe
that Mary wrote that.
1048
00:54:06,413 --> 00:54:08,315
After all,
she probably thinks that
1049
00:54:08,448 --> 00:54:10,885
we're so desperate for cash,
we'd take it from anybody.
1050
00:54:11,786 --> 00:54:13,054
Even George Barrow.
1051
00:54:14,188 --> 00:54:16,090
Well, I gotta go, Lizzie.
1052
00:54:18,726 --> 00:54:22,730
Make sure not to share your
cupcakes with just anyone, huh?
1053
00:54:56,396 --> 00:54:57,430
George?
1054
00:54:58,431 --> 00:55:00,168
Come here to steal our house,
I assume?
1055
00:55:00,300 --> 00:55:02,402
I think I forgot my screwdriver.
1056
00:55:02,870 --> 00:55:04,539
Wait there. I'll get it.
1057
00:55:07,307 --> 00:55:10,645
-Here, take it.
-Did I do something wrong?
1058
00:55:10,778 --> 00:55:12,479
Maybe not to me,
1059
00:55:12,613 --> 00:55:14,481
but you should have been
a little nicer to Tommy Leroy
1060
00:55:14,615 --> 00:55:16,483
before you stole his apartment
1061
00:55:16,617 --> 00:55:18,219
and kicked him
out of the townhouse
1062
00:55:18,351 --> 00:55:19,787
that you both grew up in.
1063
00:55:19,921 --> 00:55:21,354
I don't know
what you're talking about.
1064
00:55:21,488 --> 00:55:23,291
Oh, really?
1065
00:55:23,456 --> 00:55:26,127
So you just get to be the Prince
Charming of the West Village
1066
00:55:26,260 --> 00:55:28,596
while Tommy can barely afford
his sublet in Queens?
1067
00:55:29,063 --> 00:55:30,363
You ought to be
ashamed of yourself.
1068
00:55:30,497 --> 00:55:32,099
Is that all he told you?
1069
00:55:32,233 --> 00:55:33,366
He told me that the only reason
1070
00:55:33,500 --> 00:55:35,036
you came over here last night
1071
00:55:35,169 --> 00:55:37,138
was to convince me
to sell you our townhouse.
1072
00:55:38,039 --> 00:55:40,675
So, I guess
all that crap about cornices
1073
00:55:40,808 --> 00:55:44,377
and dormer windows was just
a bait you used to reel me in.
1074
00:55:44,512 --> 00:55:46,881
You are no gentleman,
George Barrow,
1075
00:55:47,014 --> 00:55:48,381
and you never will be.
1076
00:55:48,850 --> 00:55:50,251
Now, go.
1077
00:55:50,818 --> 00:55:52,385
Please, Liz.
You don't understand.
1078
00:55:52,520 --> 00:55:54,622
Tommy Leroy
isn't who you think he is.
1079
00:55:54,755 --> 00:55:56,157
There's another side
to the story.
1080
00:55:56,290 --> 00:55:58,192
There always is, isn't there?
1081
00:55:58,326 --> 00:56:00,393
Anyway, it doesn't matter.
1082
00:56:00,528 --> 00:56:03,865
Somebody stole the checkbook
for our home equity credit line
1083
00:56:03,998 --> 00:56:08,069
and if I don't get my hands
on $100,000 by next week,
1084
00:56:08,202 --> 00:56:10,071
the bank is gonna
take our house.
1085
00:56:12,707 --> 00:56:13,908
Thanks for the screwdriver.
1086
00:56:24,952 --> 00:56:28,656
Fuck, could things
possibly get any worse?
1087
00:56:48,209 --> 00:56:52,280
Oh. Hi. Got the whole pie.
1088
00:56:52,412 --> 00:56:53,881
Come on, have a slice.
1089
00:56:54,015 --> 00:56:55,216
A little carbs
won't hurt you, right?
1090
00:56:55,349 --> 00:56:57,051
Thanks, but no.
1091
00:56:57,184 --> 00:57:00,187
It would derail my preparation
for the half marathon.
1092
00:57:02,156 --> 00:57:03,224
Fuckin' awesome.
1093
00:57:04,592 --> 00:57:07,427
George. Say we
get down to business, shall we?
1094
00:57:08,729 --> 00:57:12,233
The bottom line is your lenders
are getting pretty impatient.
1095
00:57:12,366 --> 00:57:13,901
They want
to know when, you know,
1096
00:57:14,035 --> 00:57:15,102
the deal's gonna close.
1097
00:57:16,237 --> 00:57:17,939
They want their
fucking money now, big guy.
1098
00:57:18,072 --> 00:57:20,274
-Capisce?
-Yeah.
1099
00:57:20,408 --> 00:57:22,109
There's no reason
to talk like that, Big Sal.
1100
00:57:22,810 --> 00:57:24,278
I'm sure Georgie here
1101
00:57:24,412 --> 00:57:26,247
has a perfectly
reasonable explanation
1102
00:57:26,380 --> 00:57:28,582
-for the delay, right?
-Yes.
1103
00:57:29,383 --> 00:57:31,052
There's just one more
townhouse that I need
1104
00:57:31,185 --> 00:57:32,787
to put in the contract
1105
00:57:32,920 --> 00:57:35,556
before the investors
will release the financing.
1106
00:57:35,690 --> 00:57:38,059
The trouble is that
it's owned by three sisters
1107
00:57:38,192 --> 00:57:39,427
who don't want to sell.
1108
00:57:40,094 --> 00:57:42,196
You see, they grew up there.
1109
00:57:42,763 --> 00:57:44,131
You think
a horse's head in the bed
1110
00:57:44,265 --> 00:57:45,700
might help them
see the light of reason?
1111
00:57:46,667 --> 00:57:48,602
I don't think
that'd be necessary, Big Sal.
1112
00:57:49,270 --> 00:57:52,873
Let's just let George here
talk to 'em, all right?
1113
00:57:53,007 --> 00:57:56,110
Know that Liz Perry?
She loves flowers.
1114
00:57:56,644 --> 00:57:58,245
Especially expensive kind.
1115
00:57:58,379 --> 00:58:00,748
Otherwise, the next horse's head
1116
00:58:00,881 --> 00:58:03,084
is gonna be
in your bed, vapisce?
1117
00:58:04,218 --> 00:58:06,153
Come on, Big Sal, everything's
going to be all right.
1118
00:58:06,287 --> 00:58:07,355
Enjoy the pizza.
1119
00:58:24,138 --> 00:58:25,373
Fucking awesome.
1120
00:58:27,908 --> 00:58:29,110
And the weirdest
part is,
1121
00:58:29,243 --> 00:58:30,878
I didn't have sex
with any of them.
1122
00:58:31,012 --> 00:58:32,213
I mean, I was a little drunk,
1123
00:58:32,346 --> 00:58:34,115
so it was
kind of tempting, but no.
1124
00:58:35,316 --> 00:58:37,051
You go, girl.
1125
00:58:37,184 --> 00:58:39,520
Unfortunately, the guy
I'm crushing on just left town.
1126
00:58:40,421 --> 00:58:42,323
He said some kind of
business trip.
1127
00:58:42,456 --> 00:58:44,025
Didn't even say
when he's coming back.
1128
00:58:44,158 --> 00:58:46,193
Wait a second.
Are you talking about Jonathan?
1129
00:58:46,327 --> 00:58:48,696
I thought he was straight.
1130
00:58:48,829 --> 00:58:50,698
He wasn't so straight
when I was done with him.
1131
00:58:50,831 --> 00:58:54,101
Okay, you go, girl.
1132
00:58:54,235 --> 00:58:55,870
Ooh, let's check this one out.
1133
00:58:56,003 --> 00:58:57,371
Can we go home already?
1134
00:58:57,506 --> 00:58:58,839
One more spiral staircase
1135
00:58:58,973 --> 00:59:00,541
and I'll be
on crutches for weeks.
1136
00:59:00,674 --> 00:59:02,877
Come on, Billie.
This is the last one.
1137
00:59:03,010 --> 00:59:04,412
Girl.
1138
00:59:05,713 --> 00:59:07,715
-Hi.
-Hi. Have you got your ticket?
1139
00:59:07,848 --> 00:59:10,718
Thank you so much.
Please put the booties on.
1140
00:59:10,851 --> 00:59:12,219
Sure thing, thank you.
1141
00:59:14,188 --> 00:59:15,256
Whoa.
1142
00:59:17,058 --> 00:59:18,259
Billie, do you see
the chandelier?
1143
00:59:19,693 --> 00:59:21,128
It's gorgeous.
1144
00:59:21,262 --> 00:59:23,597
- It smells like money.
- Yeah.
1145
00:59:27,234 --> 00:59:29,538
- Ooh, girl.
- Other room?
1146
00:59:30,905 --> 00:59:33,674
Does it matter?
1147
00:59:39,380 --> 00:59:41,382
Is this
how the other half lives?
1148
00:59:45,886 --> 00:59:48,322
You know, this place
feels really familiar.
1149
00:59:48,456 --> 00:59:50,791
Like I've been
here before or something.
1150
00:59:51,625 --> 00:59:53,427
In your dreams, Lizzie.
1151
00:59:53,562 --> 00:59:56,497
You have to get past three
deadbolts and an alarm system.
1152
00:59:56,630 --> 00:59:59,300
Plus, they got guns.
1153
01:00:01,435 --> 01:00:03,704
I don't mean now, Billie.
1154
01:00:03,838 --> 01:00:05,272
I meant
when I was a little girl.
1155
01:00:06,006 --> 01:00:07,408
I remember
my mom dropping me off
1156
01:00:07,542 --> 01:00:09,578
at this big, beautiful townhouse
1157
01:00:09,710 --> 01:00:11,112
for a birthday party
when I was five.
1158
01:00:12,179 --> 01:00:14,715
I didn't know any
of the other kids, so I just...
1159
01:00:14,849 --> 01:00:17,318
wandered around the house
and I got lost.
1160
01:00:17,451 --> 01:00:19,620
I almost fell down a flight
of stairs into the basement
1161
01:00:19,753 --> 01:00:22,857
when this little boy
grabbed my arm and rescued me.
1162
01:00:24,859 --> 01:00:26,827
- Rescued you, huh?
- Mm-hm.
1163
01:00:31,632 --> 01:00:32,933
- Hey, Lizzie.
- Yeah?
1164
01:00:33,067 --> 01:00:35,836
Look at this photo. It's George.
1165
01:00:36,770 --> 01:00:37,905
And Jonathan.
1166
01:00:40,107 --> 01:00:42,611
Lizzie, that little boy
that rescued you...
1167
01:00:43,744 --> 01:00:46,013
- was George Barrow.
- What?
1168
01:00:46,147 --> 01:00:48,517
Oh, my God.
Billie, you're right.
1169
01:00:50,851 --> 01:00:52,554
This is George Barrow's house.
1170
01:00:53,687 --> 01:00:56,056
But hold on a second.
1171
01:00:56,857 --> 01:01:00,161
How could George be so generous
to a group of complete strangers
1172
01:01:00,294 --> 01:01:02,663
and so cruel to someone
who he grew up with,
1173
01:01:02,796 --> 01:01:04,131
practically like his brother?
1174
01:01:05,099 --> 01:01:06,133
I don't know.
1175
01:01:07,501 --> 01:01:10,204
How could Jonathan be
so hot in the Columbia t-shirt?
1176
01:01:15,242 --> 01:01:17,044
Billie, George just texted me.
1177
01:01:17,178 --> 01:01:19,880
He wants to meet up with me
right now.
1178
01:01:20,014 --> 01:01:21,849
-For what?
-I don't know.
1179
01:01:21,982 --> 01:01:24,519
Do we have to go back to work
or can we go check this out?
1180
01:01:24,653 --> 01:01:26,220
You sure you don't wanna
trash his house first?
1181
01:01:26,954 --> 01:01:28,255
No, let's go.
1182
01:01:28,389 --> 01:01:30,424
Let's go. Bye, Jonathan.
1183
01:01:44,471 --> 01:01:45,574
There he is.
1184
01:02:03,424 --> 01:02:04,526
What was that?
1185
01:02:08,329 --> 01:02:10,164
Oh, my God, Billie.
1186
01:02:10,297 --> 01:02:13,000
George wrote me
an actual letter by hand
1187
01:02:13,734 --> 01:02:15,502
and he sealed
the envelope with wax.
1188
01:02:15,637 --> 01:02:18,072
-Just rip it open and read it.
-Okay, okay.
1189
01:02:23,244 --> 01:02:26,747
"Dearest Elizabeth, I know that
you will never sell me your home
1190
01:02:26,880 --> 01:02:28,983
"after what you believe
I have done to Tommy Leroy,
1191
01:02:29,116 --> 01:02:31,118
"so I won't attempt
to make an offer.
1192
01:02:32,086 --> 01:02:33,787
"All I ask
is that you read this letter
1193
01:02:33,921 --> 01:02:35,789
"explaining what really happened
1194
01:02:35,923 --> 01:02:38,158
"and give me a chance
to clear my good name."
1195
01:02:38,292 --> 01:02:39,728
Oh, my God. This can't be real.
1196
01:02:40,729 --> 01:02:42,930
"Then five years ago,
I went away on a trip to Africa
1197
01:02:43,063 --> 01:02:46,133
"with my friend, Jonathan,
to dig wells to fight malaria.
1198
01:02:46,267 --> 01:02:47,801
"When I got back,
I discovered that Tommy
1199
01:02:47,935 --> 01:02:51,405
"had forged my signature
on a building permit
1200
01:02:51,539 --> 01:02:53,307
"and was getting ready
to turn the home
1201
01:02:53,440 --> 01:02:55,644
"in our family
for almost 200 years--"
1202
01:02:55,776 --> 01:02:58,245
"Into multi-milliondollar condos
1203
01:02:58,379 --> 01:03:00,247
"and pocketthe money for himself.
1204
01:03:01,081 --> 01:03:03,951
"I was shocked and angeredby Tommy's betrayal,
1205
01:03:04,084 --> 01:03:07,421
"but I promised my mother thatI would keep the matter private
1206
01:03:07,555 --> 01:03:10,659
"so as not to tarnishthe reputation of our family
1207
01:03:10,791 --> 01:03:12,893
"and that ofthe real estate business we own.
1208
01:03:14,629 --> 01:03:16,964
"I have always loved you,Elizabeth Perry."
1209
01:03:17,097 --> 01:03:18,733
- Elizabeth Perry.
- "Ever since the day
1210
01:03:18,866 --> 01:03:20,234
"at my birthday partywhen I saved you
1211
01:03:20,367 --> 01:03:21,603
"from falling down the stairs.
1212
01:03:22,570 --> 01:03:24,471
"You are the damsel in distress
1213
01:03:24,606 --> 01:03:26,173
"that I have alwayswanted to rescue.
1214
01:03:27,107 --> 01:03:30,210
"But now I feel that the personwho really needs rescuing is me.
1215
01:03:31,412 --> 01:03:33,847
"Without you, I am lost...
1216
01:03:35,015 --> 01:03:36,884
"with no hopeof the feelings that I have
1217
01:03:37,017 --> 01:03:39,654
"for you and your townhouseever being reciprocated.
1218
01:03:39,788 --> 01:03:41,822
"I remain your faithful servant.
1219
01:03:41,955 --> 01:03:43,792
"G. Fitzwilliam Barrow."
1220
01:03:48,262 --> 01:03:49,930
I think you're about
to get laid, girl.
1221
01:03:53,300 --> 01:03:55,804
I am such an idiot.
1222
01:03:55,936 --> 01:03:58,205
All I had to do
was stick out my foot for him
1223
01:03:58,339 --> 01:04:00,474
to put a glass slipper on,
and instead,
1224
01:04:00,608 --> 01:04:02,876
I kick him out the door
because I believe
1225
01:04:03,010 --> 01:04:05,580
that scam artist, Tommy Leroy.
1226
01:04:05,714 --> 01:04:07,414
I mean, I guess
it's not too late to call
1227
01:04:07,549 --> 01:04:10,150
sleazy Sal Carmine
and take him up on his offer.
1228
01:04:10,284 --> 01:04:15,222
Lizzie, that's no way
to talk about my boyfriend.
1229
01:04:15,356 --> 01:04:19,360
Your boyfriend?
What are you talking about?
1230
01:04:19,493 --> 01:04:21,563
Well, remember
the night of the blackout
1231
01:04:21,696 --> 01:04:23,497
when you had a Sal over
for wine and cupcakes
1232
01:04:23,631 --> 01:04:25,265
to talk about
the new mortgage on the house?
1233
01:04:25,399 --> 01:04:27,067
Yeah. How could I forget?
1234
01:04:27,201 --> 01:04:29,903
Well, after the power
went out on Lower Manhattan
1235
01:04:30,037 --> 01:04:32,005
and you kicked Sal out the door,
1236
01:04:32,139 --> 01:04:34,843
he went screaming
down Washington Place.
1237
01:04:34,975 --> 01:04:36,944
I heard the noise,
ran downstairs,
1238
01:04:37,077 --> 01:04:40,548
flung open the door,
and well, let's just say
1239
01:04:40,682 --> 01:04:43,317
he was grateful to find
a friendly port in the storm.
1240
01:04:43,450 --> 01:04:45,252
Oh, my God.
1241
01:04:45,386 --> 01:04:48,188
But Sal is married and he's bald
1242
01:04:48,322 --> 01:04:49,724
and he's short
and you could just--
1243
01:04:49,858 --> 01:04:51,325
We're not all like you, Lizzie.
1244
01:04:52,159 --> 01:04:54,228
Not everyone
is looking for a Mr. Darcy
1245
01:04:54,361 --> 01:04:56,964
with the uncertain
domestic bliss of marriage
1246
01:04:57,097 --> 01:04:59,333
and kids and happily ever after.
1247
01:05:00,602 --> 01:05:05,540
For me, a married Mr. Collins
will do just fine.
1248
01:05:07,074 --> 01:05:08,142
Maybe you're right.
1249
01:05:08,909 --> 01:05:11,713
Maybe life isn't about
getting what you want,
1250
01:05:11,846 --> 01:05:14,415
it's about wanting what you get.
1251
01:05:32,065 --> 01:05:33,902
Well, I guess that's it, then.
1252
01:05:34,536 --> 01:05:36,604
Jersey City, here I come.
1253
01:05:39,574 --> 01:05:41,776
I guess I could
get a job at a different bakery,
1254
01:05:41,910 --> 01:05:43,912
even if that bakery
isn't Magnolia.
1255
01:05:45,245 --> 01:05:46,714
-Uh-huh.
-And I suppose
1256
01:05:46,848 --> 01:05:48,115
I could find
an apartment to rent,
1257
01:05:48,248 --> 01:05:50,618
maybe share it with a roommate.
1258
01:05:50,752 --> 01:05:54,556
Yeah, then you'll understand
how the other 99% lives.
1259
01:05:55,189 --> 01:05:56,891
I'm about to
lose my house, Billie.
1260
01:05:57,024 --> 01:05:58,626
I thought you could
at least sympathize.
1261
01:05:59,393 --> 01:06:00,528
-Sympathize?
-Yeah.
1262
01:06:01,295 --> 01:06:03,163
Do you know how many apartments
I've been kicked out of
1263
01:06:03,297 --> 01:06:04,632
since I moved to New York?
1264
01:06:04,766 --> 01:06:06,333
You think
you got it tough, baby girl?
1265
01:06:06,935 --> 01:06:09,771
Try being Black, gay,
and living in the Bronx.
1266
01:06:10,404 --> 01:06:12,841
I'm so done with you and your
white townhouse privilege.
1267
01:06:13,842 --> 01:06:15,643
Do you know
how many millions of people
1268
01:06:15,777 --> 01:06:17,812
who would gladly trade places
with you in the heartbeat?
1269
01:06:17,946 --> 01:06:20,582
But I am the victim here.
1270
01:06:21,281 --> 01:06:22,784
-Are you though?
-Yeah.
1271
01:06:22,917 --> 01:06:25,018
Look how many advantages
you take for granted.
1272
01:06:26,386 --> 01:06:28,255
Two parents that adored you,
1273
01:06:28,388 --> 01:06:30,457
college degree
that you did not pay for,
1274
01:06:30,592 --> 01:06:32,993
and that
$20 bottle of Italian wine
1275
01:06:33,126 --> 01:06:35,028
that you drink so effortlessly.
1276
01:06:35,162 --> 01:06:38,465
I only buy Montefalco Rosso
when it's on sale.
1277
01:06:38,600 --> 01:06:39,667
Mm-hmm.
1278
01:06:41,268 --> 01:06:42,469
But maybe you're right, Billie.
1279
01:06:43,270 --> 01:06:45,205
I guess I never
looked at it that way before.
1280
01:06:45,339 --> 01:06:47,040
Of course you haven't
1281
01:06:47,174 --> 01:06:48,510
because you're too busy
looking in the mirror,
1282
01:06:48,643 --> 01:06:50,143
feeling sorry for yourself.
1283
01:06:50,277 --> 01:06:51,679
Just because
you sweep your fireplace
1284
01:06:51,813 --> 01:06:53,280
every once in a while
1285
01:06:53,413 --> 01:06:54,649
does not make you Cinderella,
baby girl.
1286
01:06:56,784 --> 01:06:57,852
Where I'm from...
1287
01:06:58,786 --> 01:07:01,154
I'd be lucky to be able to walk
down the street in my dress
1288
01:07:01,288 --> 01:07:03,223
and my wig and not get
rocks thrown at my head.
1289
01:07:11,031 --> 01:07:14,067
So, maybe I am no better
than George Barrow
1290
01:07:14,201 --> 01:07:15,904
or Kathryn Waverly
or the other
1291
01:07:16,036 --> 01:07:18,038
millionaire hedge funders
who live in the West Village.
1292
01:07:18,973 --> 01:07:21,509
Maybe I do deserve
to be exiled to a beach bar
1293
01:07:21,643 --> 01:07:23,878
in New Jersey where no one
has ever heard of a cornice
1294
01:07:24,012 --> 01:07:26,213
or a lintel or a dormer window.
1295
01:07:26,346 --> 01:07:29,651
Hey, now, don't be going all
Jersey Shore on me, baby girl.
1296
01:07:30,450 --> 01:07:33,120
I'm just saying, if you want
to save your townhome
1297
01:07:33,253 --> 01:07:34,889
5or at least get
some serious cash for it,
1298
01:07:35,023 --> 01:07:37,224
you got to get out there
and you got to fight for it.
1299
01:07:37,357 --> 01:07:38,860
Don't be sitting around
1300
01:07:38,993 --> 01:07:40,294
waiting on Prince Charming
to pay the tab.
1301
01:07:40,427 --> 01:07:42,697
-You mean--
-Yes, Lizzie.
1302
01:07:43,565 --> 01:07:45,567
There's something you love
more than vanilla cupcakes
1303
01:07:45,700 --> 01:07:47,367
with purple frosting
and sprinkles on top.
1304
01:07:48,402 --> 01:07:50,103
Something you love
more than a hot guy
1305
01:07:50,237 --> 01:07:51,873
with a tight ass
and skinny jeans.
1306
01:07:52,006 --> 01:07:54,274
Oh, I don't know
if that's possible.
1307
01:07:56,744 --> 01:07:59,413
Oh, my God,
Billie, you're right.
1308
01:07:59,547 --> 01:08:00,815
It's my townhouse.
1309
01:08:01,516 --> 01:08:04,586
That 18-foot wide, broken down
fixer-upper of a townhouse
1310
01:08:04,719 --> 01:08:06,654
that I grew up in
on Washington Place.
1311
01:08:07,354 --> 01:08:09,122
The place
where literally nothing works
1312
01:08:09,256 --> 01:08:10,892
and everything's held together
with scotch tape
1313
01:08:11,025 --> 01:08:12,326
and rubber bands.
1314
01:08:12,459 --> 01:08:13,795
The place that's always just
1315
01:08:13,928 --> 01:08:15,830
on the verge
of a nervous breakdown.
1316
01:08:16,664 --> 01:08:19,132
That scorching
hot mess pile of bricks...
1317
01:08:20,535 --> 01:08:21,603
is me.
1318
01:08:27,742 --> 01:08:29,577
-Detective Ortiz.
-Detective Ortiz.
1319
01:08:29,711 --> 01:08:31,779
Can I offer you a cupcake?
It's on the house.
1320
01:08:31,913 --> 01:08:33,781
And those cupcakes
do look tasty,
1321
01:08:33,915 --> 01:08:36,818
but this time I think I'll pass.
1322
01:08:36,951 --> 01:08:38,853
I came in
to check your security tape.
1323
01:08:38,987 --> 01:08:40,521
Uh, it looks like
the Gucci Bandit
1324
01:08:40,655 --> 01:08:42,289
is back out on the loose.
1325
01:08:42,422 --> 01:08:44,092
The Gucci Bandit?
1326
01:08:44,224 --> 01:08:45,860
Yeah, he's a burglar
who breaks into people's homes
1327
01:08:45,994 --> 01:08:48,495
wearing Gucci sandals,
steals their credit cards,
1328
01:08:48,630 --> 01:08:50,430
and goes on a shopping spree.
1329
01:08:50,965 --> 01:08:53,367
Okay, but what does that
have to do with us?
1330
01:08:53,500 --> 01:08:55,369
Well, it looks like
he's taking a show
1331
01:08:55,502 --> 01:08:56,971
on the road to Bleaker Street.
1332
01:08:57,105 --> 01:08:58,773
According to
the credit card company,
1333
01:08:58,906 --> 01:09:01,308
he was in here sometime
yesterday before 3:00 P.M.
1334
01:09:01,441 --> 01:09:03,377
We were off yesterday,
but sure, why not?
1335
01:09:03,511 --> 01:09:05,445
If he was in here,
he'd be on tape somewhere.
1336
01:09:06,981 --> 01:09:08,281
Sure you don't want a cupcake?
1337
01:09:08,415 --> 01:09:09,984
You are a temptress, Liz Perry.
1338
01:09:10,118 --> 01:09:11,686
Liz, can you help me here?
1339
01:09:11,819 --> 01:09:13,521
I don't think I was here
for this training session.
1340
01:09:13,655 --> 01:09:15,123
Yeah, sure, um,
1341
01:09:15,255 --> 01:09:17,025
It should just be--
1342
01:09:24,331 --> 01:09:28,002
Busted on Bleaker. We got him.
1343
01:09:28,136 --> 01:09:29,269
Good work, Liz.
1344
01:09:29,403 --> 01:09:31,204
Just email me the clip.
1345
01:09:31,338 --> 01:09:32,807
Wait, there's
somebody else on tape
1346
01:09:32,940 --> 01:09:34,274
walking to the store.
1347
01:09:34,408 --> 01:09:35,810
Oh my God.
1348
01:09:35,943 --> 01:09:37,377
I'd recognize
that butt anywhere.
1349
01:09:37,879 --> 01:09:39,379
It's Tommy Leroy.
1350
01:09:39,947 --> 01:09:42,382
He's writing a check
for some cupcakes
1351
01:09:42,517 --> 01:09:45,053
using the checkbook
for our home equity credit line.
1352
01:09:45,185 --> 01:09:46,654
Detective Ortiz,
1353
01:09:46,788 --> 01:09:48,422
I'd like to make
a citizen's arrest.
1354
01:09:48,556 --> 01:09:51,092
Come down to the station
and file a report, okay?
1355
01:09:51,224 --> 01:09:52,827
Never trust
a man a skinny jeans.
1356
01:09:52,960 --> 01:09:54,662
Yeah.
1357
01:09:54,796 --> 01:09:56,998
We caught Tommy Leroy on
video camera with our checkbook,
1358
01:09:57,131 --> 01:09:59,399
but that doesn't
bring back the $100,000.
1359
01:09:59,534 --> 01:10:02,570
And we need to pay back
the entire loan by Monday.
1360
01:10:04,005 --> 01:10:05,940
Our only choice
is to sell the house
1361
01:10:06,074 --> 01:10:07,709
to the first person
who walks in that door
1362
01:10:07,842 --> 01:10:09,476
with the biggest bag
full of cash.
1363
01:10:09,610 --> 01:10:11,244
Which means
that we need to start painting
1364
01:10:11,378 --> 01:10:13,581
and cleaning ASAP to get it
ready for the open house.
1365
01:10:13,715 --> 01:10:16,017
If we all pick up a brush
in the mop right now,
1366
01:10:16,150 --> 01:10:17,985
we should be done by Saturday.
1367
01:10:18,553 --> 01:10:20,922
And once I take the pictures,
make the video,
1368
01:10:21,055 --> 01:10:22,824
and post the ad on Street Easy,
1369
01:10:22,957 --> 01:10:24,892
we'll be ready for the open
house on Sunday afternoon.
1370
01:10:25,026 --> 01:10:27,662
And that's where I come in,
to find the mystery buyer
1371
01:10:27,795 --> 01:10:30,330
with a big bank roll
in his briefcase.
1372
01:10:30,464 --> 01:10:32,100
We know
you'll find a someone, Sophie.
1373
01:10:32,232 --> 01:10:34,068
I texted Charlotte.
1374
01:10:34,202 --> 01:10:36,037
She should be here any minute
with the cleaning supplies.
1375
01:10:40,575 --> 01:10:42,777
Let's clean
my little dust bunnies.
1376
01:10:42,910 --> 01:10:44,277
Let's.
1377
01:10:49,884 --> 01:10:54,387
♪ Yeah, it's come to this,world's falling all around us ♪
1378
01:10:54,522 --> 01:10:57,558
♪ Will we make it out alive? ♪
1379
01:10:59,060 --> 01:11:01,062
♪ Now that we've come this far ♪
1380
01:11:01,195 --> 01:11:03,631
♪ Come on, sisters,get together ♪
1381
01:11:03,765 --> 01:11:07,135
♪ And bring the cityto its knees ♪
1382
01:11:07,267 --> 01:11:09,170
♪ We gotta get up ♪
1383
01:11:09,302 --> 01:11:12,073
♪ Working harder thanwe've ever worked before ♪
1384
01:11:12,206 --> 01:11:14,041
♪ Gotta speak up ♪
1385
01:11:14,175 --> 01:11:16,376
♪ Be a fighter when something'sworth fighting for ♪
1386
01:11:16,511 --> 01:11:18,478
♪ Never give up ♪
1387
01:11:18,613 --> 01:11:21,916
♪ Keep on trying,give it everything we've got ♪
1388
01:11:22,049 --> 01:11:26,053
♪ Better believe we'llfind out what we're made of ♪
1389
01:11:26,187 --> 01:11:28,756
♪ Keep your head up,just keep smiling ♪
1390
01:11:41,736 --> 01:11:45,006
So, you'll never guess
who I ran into today.
1391
01:11:46,107 --> 01:11:47,608
Well, I guess
you're going to tell me, mother,
1392
01:11:47,742 --> 01:11:49,143
and I have
no choice but to listen.
1393
01:11:49,277 --> 01:11:51,145
Elizabeth Perry.
1394
01:11:51,279 --> 01:11:53,648
The girl who lives in that
trashy, little townhouse
1395
01:11:53,781 --> 01:11:55,950
over on Washington Place
with her two sisters.
1396
01:11:56,083 --> 01:11:59,787
Oh, and what did
she have to say, mother?
1397
01:11:59,921 --> 01:12:02,523
Well, she told me she's
putting her house on the market
1398
01:12:02,657 --> 01:12:05,560
and that she and her two sisters
are hosting an open house
1399
01:12:05,693 --> 01:12:08,461
tomorrow afternoon and that
they're prepared to sell
1400
01:12:08,596 --> 01:12:12,332
to the highest bidder,
even if that bidder is you.
1401
01:12:13,167 --> 01:12:14,969
- Really?
- So it's true
1402
01:12:15,102 --> 01:12:16,469
that you've offered
to buy their house?
1403
01:12:16,604 --> 01:12:19,106
Or is that
just inter-webs gossip?
1404
01:12:19,240 --> 01:12:21,843
Well, I very much
doubt that she'd be
1405
01:12:21,976 --> 01:12:23,678
willing to sell to me, mother.
1406
01:12:23,811 --> 01:12:25,279
She thinks I'm an asshole
1407
01:12:25,412 --> 01:12:27,215
who wouldn't help
his own grandmother
1408
01:12:27,347 --> 01:12:28,950
cross Bleaker Street.
1409
01:12:29,083 --> 01:12:31,552
Of course
she would, sweetheart.
1410
01:12:31,686 --> 01:12:35,056
You're still the Prince Charming
of West Village real estate.
1411
01:12:35,189 --> 01:12:38,491
Any girl would pay gold just
to meet you for a cup of coffee
1412
01:12:38,626 --> 01:12:42,196
or Tesla stock, Bitcoin,
or whatever's hot these days.
1413
01:12:42,330 --> 01:12:45,233
Oh, mother, I am tired
of living here with you
1414
01:12:45,365 --> 01:12:48,169
in the shadow of my great
great grandfather's portrait.
1415
01:12:49,971 --> 01:12:52,173
All I want
is to be like-- like--
1416
01:12:52,306 --> 01:12:54,575
like everybody else
1417
01:12:54,709 --> 01:12:56,777
who comes to the West Village
to have fun.
1418
01:13:15,196 --> 01:13:17,899
-Fucking awesome.
-George Barrow!
1419
01:13:18,032 --> 01:13:21,068
We do not use language
like that in this household.
1420
01:13:21,202 --> 01:13:24,171
And we most certainly
do not eat pizza.
1421
01:13:24,305 --> 01:13:28,441
Why don't we? John's Pizzeria is
two blocks away from our house.
1422
01:13:28,576 --> 01:13:30,211
They have the best pizza
in the West Village.
1423
01:13:30,344 --> 01:13:32,747
You always told me
that we couldn't go there
1424
01:13:32,880 --> 01:13:34,749
because they have
rats in their basement.
1425
01:13:35,516 --> 01:13:37,551
I honestly don't care if they
have rats in their basement.
1426
01:13:37,685 --> 01:13:39,353
Their pizza is awesome.
1427
01:13:39,486 --> 01:13:43,124
But, George, you'll get fat!
1428
01:13:43,257 --> 01:13:45,559
Cool. Then maybe all these girls
1429
01:13:45,693 --> 01:13:48,930
who think I'm Mr. Darcy
will stop chasing me.
1430
01:13:50,564 --> 01:13:55,002
Tomorrow, I think I'm gonna go
try one of the slices at Joe's.
1431
01:13:57,405 --> 01:13:59,840
Oh, it's a mighty
fine slice, mother.
1432
01:14:00,675 --> 01:14:03,077
Mighty fine slice, mother.
1433
01:14:18,893 --> 01:14:20,127
Hi.
1434
01:14:21,429 --> 01:14:22,563
Hi.
1435
01:14:22,697 --> 01:14:24,732
-Hi.
-Hello.
1436
01:14:35,276 --> 01:14:36,410
Wow.
1437
01:14:40,881 --> 01:14:42,116
It's gorgeous.
1438
01:14:42,249 --> 01:14:43,483
Nah, it's too bright.
1439
01:14:44,452 --> 01:14:45,586
Okay.
1440
01:14:46,754 --> 01:14:48,789
-Thank you.
-Thank you for coming.
1441
01:14:55,596 --> 01:14:58,232
Well, at least we tried.
1442
01:14:58,366 --> 01:15:00,134
I'm sure we can find
a decent place to rent
1443
01:15:00,267 --> 01:15:02,203
in New Jersey
when they take the house.
1444
01:15:02,336 --> 01:15:04,739
Or Florida. I heard
it's pretty cheap down there.
1445
01:15:05,373 --> 01:15:07,908
-Where's Sophie anyway?
-Does it matter?
1446
01:15:08,042 --> 01:15:09,543
It's not like
she's getting a commission.
1447
01:15:13,981 --> 01:15:17,184
Girls, I just took
a full price offer.
1448
01:15:17,318 --> 01:15:19,320
All cash!
1449
01:15:19,453 --> 01:15:22,023
And I spoke with the bank
and they have agreed
1450
01:15:22,156 --> 01:15:24,125
to put the foreclosure on hold.
1451
01:15:25,860 --> 01:15:28,295
We did it, we did it, we did it!
1452
01:15:29,964 --> 01:15:32,033
Hold on. What's the catch?
There has to be one.
1453
01:15:32,166 --> 01:15:35,636
Well, the buyer wants
to meet with Liz right here,
1454
01:15:35,770 --> 01:15:39,240
right now, alone,
with no one else in the room.
1455
01:15:40,107 --> 01:15:42,743
Good luck.
1456
01:15:48,849 --> 01:15:51,285
-May I come in?
-Of course.
1457
01:15:56,490 --> 01:15:57,558
Thanks, Sophie.
1458
01:16:03,864 --> 01:16:05,633
Please let me explain,
Elizabeth.
1459
01:16:05,766 --> 01:16:07,735
And this time,
I beg you not kick me out
1460
01:16:07,868 --> 01:16:09,603
until you've heard
the entire story.
1461
01:16:12,273 --> 01:16:13,774
The only reason
I've offered to buy your home
1462
01:16:13,908 --> 01:16:15,643
is to save it from foreclosure,
1463
01:16:15,776 --> 01:16:18,279
so that you and your sisters
can continue to live here.
1464
01:16:18,412 --> 01:16:21,048
I will not combine it
with any other property
1465
01:16:21,182 --> 01:16:22,883
or make it part
of the development that you have
1466
01:16:23,017 --> 01:16:25,286
so rightly called
a hedge funder Disneyland.
1467
01:16:26,854 --> 01:16:29,558
I promise
that after the deal closes,
1468
01:16:29,690 --> 01:16:32,726
I will walk away and never again
darken your door.
1469
01:16:32,860 --> 01:16:34,628
-But--
-Please don't refuse my offer.
1470
01:16:34,762 --> 01:16:36,697
It's honestly
the least I can do.
1471
01:16:36,831 --> 01:16:39,366
If I had reported
Tommy Leroy to the police
1472
01:16:39,500 --> 01:16:41,735
after he tried
to steal my family's home,
1473
01:16:41,869 --> 01:16:44,105
he would not have been
free to walk in,
1474
01:16:44,238 --> 01:16:46,373
steal your home equity
credit line checkbook,
1475
01:16:46,508 --> 01:16:48,776
and draw down
the $100,000 dollars
1476
01:16:48,909 --> 01:16:51,378
that nearly cost
you and your family your home.
1477
01:16:51,513 --> 01:16:53,647
Or to bounce a check
in the Magnolia Bakery
1478
01:16:53,781 --> 01:16:56,350
to buy a dozen cupcakes
for his ex-girlfriend
1479
01:16:56,484 --> 01:16:57,818
in the apartment upstairs.
1480
01:16:57,952 --> 01:17:01,523
But I guess
you already knew that
1481
01:17:01,655 --> 01:17:03,592
since you're the one
who busted him on tape.
1482
01:17:04,992 --> 01:17:06,927
Detective Ortiz
told me the whole story.
1483
01:17:08,629 --> 01:17:10,297
You're my hero, Liz Perry.
1484
01:17:11,332 --> 01:17:13,634
Well, let's just say
I'm a woman of many talents.
1485
01:17:15,402 --> 01:17:17,805
So, do you still think
1486
01:17:17,938 --> 01:17:19,707
I'm the biggest asshole
in the West Village?
1487
01:17:21,142 --> 01:17:24,613
No, George.
I think you're amazing.
1488
01:17:25,379 --> 01:17:27,848
And so was your big,
beautiful townhouse
1489
01:17:27,982 --> 01:17:29,483
at 59 Morton Street.
1490
01:17:29,618 --> 01:17:31,352
The place where you saved me
1491
01:17:31,485 --> 01:17:33,187
from falling down the stairs
at your birthday party
1492
01:17:33,320 --> 01:17:34,822
when I was five.
1493
01:17:34,955 --> 01:17:36,525
I'm amazed that you remember.
1494
01:17:36,657 --> 01:17:38,792
You were so little.
1495
01:17:38,926 --> 01:17:40,629
But I'm two years older
and I never forgot.
1496
01:17:42,463 --> 01:17:44,465
I've always had
a crush on you, Liz Perry.
1497
01:17:45,600 --> 01:17:47,801
It was just easier for me
to act like a jerk
1498
01:17:47,935 --> 01:17:50,137
than to admit it
and maybe find out
1499
01:17:50,271 --> 01:17:51,805
that you didn't love me
1500
01:17:51,939 --> 01:17:54,775
as much
as I've always loved you.
1501
01:18:01,849 --> 01:18:03,150
Hold on, Liz Perry.
1502
01:18:03,284 --> 01:18:05,920
Before we get too carried away,
1503
01:18:06,487 --> 01:18:07,755
there's something
I have to show you
1504
01:18:07,888 --> 01:18:09,323
about your charming,
little townhouse
1505
01:18:09,456 --> 01:18:11,660
that you may not have noticed.
1506
01:18:21,735 --> 01:18:23,737
- Here, just in case.
- Ah. Perfect.
1507
01:18:25,172 --> 01:18:26,240
Follow me.
1508
01:18:27,474 --> 01:18:29,710
Uh, George,
1509
01:18:29,843 --> 01:18:31,312
what are we doing
in my basement?
1510
01:18:32,012 --> 01:18:33,380
Trust me.
1511
01:18:37,785 --> 01:18:39,353
It must be
around here somewhere.
1512
01:18:40,854 --> 01:18:41,922
What?
1513
01:18:43,991 --> 01:18:45,059
A-ha.
1514
01:18:47,094 --> 01:18:49,664
Lizzie, could you hold this?
1515
01:18:49,797 --> 01:18:51,232
Sure.
1516
01:19:01,742 --> 01:19:03,578
Uh, hey, George, quick question.
1517
01:19:03,712 --> 01:19:07,081
Why do you have a key
to a lock in my basement?
1518
01:19:07,214 --> 01:19:08,617
Wait and see.
1519
01:19:22,463 --> 01:19:23,964
Uh, George?
1520
01:19:24,098 --> 01:19:25,966
When are you going to
tell me what's going on?
1521
01:19:26,100 --> 01:19:28,402
Sometimes, Liz,
there are connections
1522
01:19:28,536 --> 01:19:31,872
you didn't know existed
that were there all along.
1523
01:19:33,073 --> 01:19:34,576
What does that mean?
1524
01:19:43,450 --> 01:19:46,053
Oh, my God, George.
We're in your parlor.
1525
01:19:55,029 --> 01:19:56,731
There's the portrait
of Captain Barrow.
1526
01:19:57,298 --> 01:19:59,066
Ah, and the guns.
1527
01:20:01,435 --> 01:20:04,271
But hold on a second.
How did we get here?
1528
01:20:04,405 --> 01:20:05,439
Allow me to explain.
1529
01:20:06,140 --> 01:20:08,309
The same day
that you came to see my house
1530
01:20:08,442 --> 01:20:10,010
for the Spring House
benefit tour,
1531
01:20:10,144 --> 01:20:11,546
I went
to the library to check out
1532
01:20:11,680 --> 01:20:13,480
the old fire insurance maps.
1533
01:20:13,615 --> 01:20:17,519
It turns out our two houses
are connected underground.
1534
01:20:17,652 --> 01:20:18,653
-What?
-They've been that way
1535
01:20:18,787 --> 01:20:19,788
for over a century.
1536
01:20:19,920 --> 01:20:21,690
So wait. You mean--
1537
01:20:21,822 --> 01:20:23,558
Yes, that my mother
can no longer
1538
01:20:23,692 --> 01:20:27,227
object to us uniting our
two houses and tying the knot.
1539
01:20:31,265 --> 01:20:32,767
But, wait,
doesn't your mother hate me
1540
01:20:32,900 --> 01:20:34,703
and my 18-foot wide townhouse?
1541
01:20:34,835 --> 01:20:36,538
When I showed her on the map
that Captain Barrow
1542
01:20:36,671 --> 01:20:38,439
had built a tunnel,
so that he could hook up
1543
01:20:38,573 --> 01:20:40,941
with his third cousin
and true love, Betsy Washington,
1544
01:20:41,075 --> 01:20:42,376
she caved immediately.
1545
01:20:42,510 --> 01:20:44,311
But isn't your mother
1546
01:20:44,445 --> 01:20:47,481
all business, super broker
Kathryn Waverly and all that?
1547
01:20:47,615 --> 01:20:50,351
Oh, no, Kathryn Waverly
is a hopeless romantic
1548
01:20:50,484 --> 01:20:53,320
just like you, Lizzie.
A huge Pride and Prejudice fan.
1549
01:20:53,454 --> 01:20:54,955
That's why
she named me Fitzwilliam.
1550
01:20:56,156 --> 01:20:58,325
But-- but you can...
1551
01:21:00,194 --> 01:21:01,395
just call me George.
1552
01:21:03,964 --> 01:21:06,433
This is no time for big
romantic speeches, George.
1553
01:21:06,568 --> 01:21:08,603
We've got to
get out of here now.
1554
01:21:08,737 --> 01:21:10,337
What are you
talking about, mother?
1555
01:21:10,471 --> 01:21:12,574
I'm in the middle
of proposing to Liz Perry.
1556
01:21:12,707 --> 01:21:14,375
Aren't you glad that I'm
actually interested in girls?
1557
01:21:14,509 --> 01:21:16,578
Oh, don't worry
about that, George.
1558
01:21:16,711 --> 01:21:18,245
I already knew
that you and Elizabeth
1559
01:21:18,379 --> 01:21:19,913
would end up together.
1560
01:21:20,047 --> 01:21:21,382
Don't forget,
I've read the book five times
1561
01:21:21,516 --> 01:21:23,450
and seen the entire BBC series.
1562
01:21:23,585 --> 01:21:25,052
- Here.
- That's bullshit.
1563
01:21:25,185 --> 01:21:26,721
I'm gonna
fuck 'em up real bad.
1564
01:21:26,855 --> 01:21:28,590
-They're here.
-Who's here, mother?
1565
01:21:28,723 --> 01:21:31,024
No time to explain.
Just follow me.
1566
01:21:31,158 --> 01:21:32,226
Okay.
1567
01:21:39,801 --> 01:21:41,836
George! George!
1568
01:21:41,969 --> 01:21:43,904
Where are you?
I know you're here.
1569
01:21:44,037 --> 01:21:46,273
Where the fuck is he?
1570
01:21:47,007 --> 01:21:48,510
Tommy, you said
you were gonna bring us
1571
01:21:48,643 --> 01:21:49,711
right to him, what happened?
1572
01:21:52,246 --> 01:21:53,848
The big boss is gonna be mad.
1573
01:21:53,981 --> 01:21:55,449
I grew up in this house.
1574
01:21:55,583 --> 01:21:57,384
I know what they went.
Follow me.
1575
01:22:15,469 --> 01:22:17,371
George, what is this place?
1576
01:22:17,938 --> 01:22:20,508
This is where my family
hid enslaved Africans
1577
01:22:20,642 --> 01:22:22,976
before the Civil War
to help them escape to freedom.
1578
01:22:23,477 --> 01:22:26,079
No way. I thought you guys
were white supremacists.
1579
01:22:26,213 --> 01:22:28,315
This is no time
for a history lesson, George.
1580
01:22:28,449 --> 01:22:31,251
Tommy's probably leading them
us right to us as we speak.
1581
01:22:31,385 --> 01:22:33,287
We need to secure the hatch.
Elizabeth, you.
1582
01:22:33,420 --> 01:22:34,488
Okay?
1583
01:22:36,356 --> 01:22:37,958
Ah!
1584
01:22:40,562 --> 01:22:42,496
Oh, hey, Georgie boy.
1585
01:22:42,630 --> 01:22:45,265
I got a couple of guys here
who want to talk to you.
1586
01:22:47,201 --> 01:22:48,969
Where's my fucking
money, Georgie?
1587
01:22:49,102 --> 01:22:50,170
Who is that?
1588
01:22:51,706 --> 01:22:53,006
Sal Carmine?
1589
01:22:53,140 --> 01:22:54,909
What the hell
are you doing here?
1590
01:22:55,042 --> 01:22:56,811
I'm not here for you, Lizzie.
Sorry.
1591
01:22:56,945 --> 01:22:59,681
I'm here for Georgie.
Time's up, buddy.
1592
01:22:59,814 --> 01:23:01,816
Just give him the money, George.
1593
01:23:01,950 --> 01:23:04,318
They're not gonna
hurt you or Mom.
1594
01:23:04,451 --> 01:23:05,520
Hold this.
1595
01:23:07,354 --> 01:23:08,455
George,
what are you doing?
1596
01:23:11,325 --> 01:23:13,393
Elizabeth Washington Perry.
1597
01:23:13,528 --> 01:23:16,163
Would you do me the honor
of accepting this ring?
1598
01:23:16,296 --> 01:23:18,098
Oh, George, of course I will.
1599
01:23:19,132 --> 01:23:22,169
Georgie, if I don't get
my fucking money,
1600
01:23:22,302 --> 01:23:24,639
one of you people up here's
gonna end up on the sidewalk
1601
01:23:24,772 --> 01:23:26,139
- like a fucking pancake.
- Hey.
1602
01:23:26,273 --> 01:23:28,375
Put that gun down
or I'mma break your face.
1603
01:23:28,510 --> 01:23:30,879
Do you have any idea how
hard it is for a woman over 30
1604
01:23:31,011 --> 01:23:33,380
to find a single straight man
south of 14th street?
1605
01:23:38,987 --> 01:23:41,455
Yes, George Fitzwilliam Barrow,
1606
01:23:41,589 --> 01:23:44,959
you sweet, shy,
townhouse loving mama's boy.
1607
01:23:45,627 --> 01:23:47,160
Of course, I will marry you.
1608
01:23:47,996 --> 01:23:51,031
I've loved you since I was five
and you were seven.
1609
01:23:52,499 --> 01:23:54,569
I was just too blind to see it.
1610
01:24:04,478 --> 01:24:06,514
Hey, Barrow gang.
1611
01:24:06,648 --> 01:24:09,684
-Get down off that roof now.
-Oh.
1612
01:24:09,817 --> 01:24:12,620
Detective Ortiz,
it's me, Liz Perry.
1613
01:24:12,754 --> 01:24:14,589
I'm up here
with Tommy Leroy, Sal Carmine,
1614
01:24:14,722 --> 01:24:16,456
and some other guy
from the mafia.
1615
01:24:16,591 --> 01:24:19,561
I'm also up here with my fiancé,
George Barrow,
1616
01:24:19,694 --> 01:24:21,094
and his mom, Kathryn Waverly.
1617
01:24:21,228 --> 01:24:23,698
Wow. Liz. Congrats.
1618
01:24:23,831 --> 01:24:26,233
I didn't realize
you was dating George.
1619
01:24:26,366 --> 01:24:28,703
Oh, me neither, this just
happened like an hour ago.
1620
01:24:28,836 --> 01:24:30,872
Did you say
Tommy Leroy's up there?
1621
01:24:31,005 --> 01:24:32,807
I got a warrant for his arrest.
1622
01:24:32,941 --> 01:24:34,576
A warrant for what?
1623
01:24:34,709 --> 01:24:36,310
Grand larceny
in the fourth degree:
1624
01:24:36,443 --> 01:24:38,145
theft of merchandise.
1625
01:24:38,278 --> 01:24:39,781
Grand larceny?
1626
01:24:39,914 --> 01:24:41,248
For bouncing the check
on a dozen cupcakes
1627
01:24:41,381 --> 01:24:43,017
for my girlfriend?
1628
01:24:43,150 --> 01:24:44,752
You bought
a total of 240 cupcakes
1629
01:24:44,886 --> 01:24:48,388
at the Magnolia Bakery
at $3.95 a pop.
1630
01:24:48,523 --> 01:24:51,091
So, I got cupcakes
for all my ex-girlfriends.
1631
01:24:51,224 --> 01:24:52,727
Is that a crime?
1632
01:24:52,860 --> 01:24:56,064
You can't arrest
Tommy Leroy for grand larceny.
1633
01:24:56,196 --> 01:24:58,131
That's $948.
1634
01:24:58,265 --> 01:25:01,468
The statutory limit in
the state of New York is 1000.
1635
01:25:01,603 --> 01:25:03,972
Pendejo, you forgot
to include the tax.
1636
01:25:04,104 --> 01:25:07,107
Come on down, Tommy. It's over.
1637
01:25:08,076 --> 01:25:09,142
Howdy, boys.
1638
01:25:10,011 --> 01:25:11,411
You know the drill.
Stand over there.
1639
01:25:11,546 --> 01:25:15,482
Tommy Leroy,
1640
01:25:15,617 --> 01:25:18,151
you are under arrest, my friend.
1641
01:25:18,285 --> 01:25:20,855
For what?
Having a couple of fat ham hogs?
1642
01:25:20,989 --> 01:25:23,423
Or soaking half the skirts
in the West Village, huh?
1643
01:25:26,493 --> 01:25:28,428
FBI. You're under arrest.
Come on.
1644
01:25:28,563 --> 01:25:30,263
I thought we were brothers
from another mother.
1645
01:25:30,397 --> 01:25:31,633
Come on. You're under arrest.
1646
01:25:31,766 --> 01:25:33,034
Is this what you do to family?
1647
01:25:33,166 --> 01:25:34,468
You ain't family.
1648
01:25:34,602 --> 01:25:36,370
Where's my money, Big Sal?
1649
01:25:36,503 --> 01:25:38,806
Sophia. Big boss.
1650
01:25:40,340 --> 01:25:42,175
Never send a man
to do a woman's job.
1651
01:25:42,309 --> 01:25:43,911
That's what I always say.
1652
01:25:44,045 --> 01:25:45,847
But now that George
has given me the briefcase
1653
01:25:45,980 --> 01:25:48,683
full of cash, I'm willing to
consider your debt paid in full.
1654
01:25:49,316 --> 01:25:51,653
So the 500K stays with me.
1655
01:25:51,786 --> 01:25:54,122
All's well that ends well
and all that crap.
1656
01:25:54,254 --> 01:25:55,422
This time.
1657
01:25:56,223 --> 01:25:58,826
But tell your boys to stay
on the Jersey side of the river
1658
01:25:58,960 --> 01:26:01,361
and don't dare cross to my side.
1659
01:26:02,496 --> 01:26:04,932
Oh, and give
your mother my regards.
1660
01:26:05,066 --> 01:26:07,669
You know, it wouldn't kill her
to call me once in a while.
1661
01:26:09,469 --> 01:26:11,105
Come on, let's get you home.
1662
01:26:11,238 --> 01:26:12,707
- Get him out of here.
- Fucking scumbag.
1663
01:26:12,840 --> 01:26:14,374
Sal! Sal!
1664
01:26:14,509 --> 01:26:17,879
Oh, Sal!
I heard the commotion.
1665
01:26:18,012 --> 01:26:21,516
And I can't believe
I'm dating an FBI agent.
1666
01:26:21,649 --> 01:26:23,918
Oh, not just some
1667
01:26:24,052 --> 01:26:26,921
sleazy mortgage broker.
1668
01:26:27,055 --> 01:26:28,856
You'll still
make me pasta though, right?
1669
01:26:28,990 --> 01:26:31,391
-Whatever you want, baby.
-Oh, yes.
1670
01:26:31,526 --> 01:26:33,761
Come on.
1671
01:26:33,895 --> 01:26:35,328
Ooh, let's go home.
1672
01:26:38,900 --> 01:26:41,435
It's just almost
too much to bear.
1673
01:26:42,036 --> 01:26:44,271
I can only hope
that one day you find someone
1674
01:26:44,404 --> 01:26:48,509
who brings you as much happiness
as George Barrow brings me.
1675
01:26:50,144 --> 01:26:51,211
I don't know, honey.
1676
01:26:52,580 --> 01:26:55,049
I made the mistake of
falling in love with the one guy
1677
01:26:55,183 --> 01:26:56,884
who could never
love me back or bring me home
1678
01:26:57,018 --> 01:26:58,186
to meet his parents.
1679
01:27:00,655 --> 01:27:02,890
- Jonathan?
- Hello.
1680
01:27:03,558 --> 01:27:05,059
Hi. What are you doing here?
1681
01:27:05,193 --> 01:27:07,161
I thought you moved
back to San Francisco.
1682
01:27:07,327 --> 01:27:10,363
I jumped on a plane the minute
that I got George's letter.
1683
01:27:10,497 --> 01:27:12,200
I mean, can you believe it?
1684
01:27:12,332 --> 01:27:14,102
The guy sat down
and wrote a letter by hand
1685
01:27:14,234 --> 01:27:16,170
using a pen
and then mailed it to me
1686
01:27:16,303 --> 01:27:17,972
in an envelope with a stamp.
1687
01:27:18,106 --> 01:27:20,440
I mean, that's why it
took a week for me to get it.
1688
01:27:20,575 --> 01:27:21,642
Anyway...
1689
01:27:22,944 --> 01:27:24,311
I flew back the minute
1690
01:27:24,444 --> 01:27:26,748
that George told me
that you love me.
1691
01:27:29,449 --> 01:27:32,120
Ever since that party
at the Little Branch, Billie,
1692
01:27:32,252 --> 01:27:34,254
I haven't been able
to stop thinking about you.
1693
01:27:35,590 --> 01:27:37,959
The way your nails
felt on my back.
1694
01:27:39,026 --> 01:27:40,327
The way your lips felt on my--
1695
01:27:40,460 --> 01:27:43,430
Oh, hey,
PG13, we have customers.
1696
01:27:47,467 --> 01:27:48,569
Anyway...
1697
01:27:50,538 --> 01:27:53,775
you are so strong and confident,
1698
01:27:53,908 --> 01:27:56,276
so sure of your sexuality,
1699
01:27:56,409 --> 01:27:59,981
so unafraid to just go out there
and live your truth.
1700
01:28:00,114 --> 01:28:02,784
And I know
I should have texted you.
1701
01:28:02,917 --> 01:28:04,085
I'm sorry.
1702
01:28:04,552 --> 01:28:06,621
I just felt like such a coward.
1703
01:28:07,522 --> 01:28:10,158
Like I'd never be cool enough
for someone like you.
1704
01:28:11,859 --> 01:28:13,393
Just hold that thought.
1705
01:28:34,515 --> 01:28:35,883
You had me at hello.
1706
01:28:49,096 --> 01:28:51,464
Dear friends,
we have come together
1707
01:28:51,599 --> 01:28:53,968
in the presence of God
to celebrate
1708
01:28:54,101 --> 01:28:55,970
the marriage of these couples.
1709
01:28:56,103 --> 01:28:57,805
To surround them
with our prayers
1710
01:28:57,939 --> 01:28:59,740
and to share in their joy.
1711
01:29:00,440 --> 01:29:02,944
The uniting
of these persons in heart,
1712
01:29:03,077 --> 01:29:05,813
body, and mind
is intended by God
1713
01:29:05,947 --> 01:29:08,783
for their mutual joy,
for the help and comfort
1714
01:29:08,916 --> 01:29:11,185
they give one another
in prosperity
1715
01:29:11,319 --> 01:29:14,555
and adversity, and that
their love may be a blessing
1716
01:29:14,689 --> 01:29:16,858
to all whom they encounter.
1717
01:29:16,991 --> 01:29:20,061
If anyone knows a reason
why either of these couples
1718
01:29:20,194 --> 01:29:22,063
should not
be joined in marriage,
1719
01:29:22,196 --> 01:29:25,833
I ask them to speak now
or forever hold their peace.
1720
01:29:27,168 --> 01:29:28,401
Wait!
1721
01:29:30,171 --> 01:29:31,572
Lizzie, don't do it.
1722
01:29:31,706 --> 01:29:33,107
I still have feelings for you.
1723
01:29:33,241 --> 01:29:34,407
What?
1724
01:29:36,177 --> 01:29:38,512
I'm just playing.
1725
01:29:38,646 --> 01:29:41,883
She all yours,
Georgie boy, you may proceed.
1726
01:29:42,016 --> 01:29:44,619
Behave, Leroy,
or you're back in lockdown.
1727
01:29:44,752 --> 01:29:47,521
Come on.
Can't this guy take a joke?
1728
01:29:47,655 --> 01:29:51,025
Geez, Louise. Some people.
1729
01:29:51,158 --> 01:29:52,226
Anyone else?
1730
01:29:54,896 --> 01:29:57,765
I invite you to declare
your vows to one another.
1731
01:30:02,370 --> 01:30:04,038
You know
I'm ride or die for you, right?
1732
01:30:05,640 --> 01:30:06,941
Ride or die, baby.
1733
01:30:22,256 --> 01:30:23,423
I promise...
1734
01:30:25,026 --> 01:30:28,763
to adore every brick
in your brownstone
1735
01:30:28,896 --> 01:30:30,463
and to cherish you
1736
01:30:30,598 --> 01:30:34,568
even when you grow old
and I grow old
1737
01:30:34,702 --> 01:30:36,804
and our lintels need repointing.
1738
01:30:38,039 --> 01:30:42,442
I promise to be the sturdy
column that supports you
1739
01:30:42,576 --> 01:30:44,477
and the cornice
that ornaments your life.
1740
01:30:45,613 --> 01:30:47,581
I promise to never forget
the little boy
1741
01:30:47,715 --> 01:30:49,850
who rescued you
when you were a little girl.
1742
01:30:51,319 --> 01:30:54,588
And to love you
for the amazing woman
1743
01:30:54,722 --> 01:30:56,424
who came back and rescued me.
1744
01:31:03,230 --> 01:31:05,599
George, I promise
1745
01:31:05,733 --> 01:31:08,336
never to forget that you are
the same amazing man
1746
01:31:08,468 --> 01:31:11,138
who rescued me when I was five
and you were seven.
1747
01:31:12,707 --> 01:31:15,176
I promise never to drink
Montefalco Rosso
1748
01:31:15,309 --> 01:31:17,011
until ten o'clock in the morning
1749
01:31:17,144 --> 01:31:19,280
unless you're the one
who's drinking with me.
1750
01:31:21,048 --> 01:31:24,118
I promise
that for better or worse...
1751
01:31:25,319 --> 01:31:26,554
in sickness and in health...
1752
01:31:28,456 --> 01:31:31,392
you will always be
my one true cupcake.
1753
01:31:32,526 --> 01:31:33,661
And I yours.
1754
01:31:53,647 --> 01:31:56,150
By their promises
before God and in the presence
1755
01:31:56,283 --> 01:31:57,351
of this assembly...
1756
01:32:01,255 --> 01:32:03,124
you may kiss your beloved.
1757
01:32:45,199 --> 01:32:46,801
Hey, Townhouse Confidential.
1758
01:32:51,939 --> 01:32:53,274
Deep Park?
1759
01:32:55,242 --> 01:32:57,745
-It's you.
-I'm your biggest fan.
1760
01:32:57,878 --> 01:33:00,047
I've read every blog post
you ever posted.
1761
01:33:00,181 --> 01:33:02,249
So, you're some kind of stalker?
1762
01:33:02,383 --> 01:33:04,752
I'm more like
a field agent.
1763
01:33:04,885 --> 01:33:07,188
I know it's kind of hard
to do investigative reporting
1764
01:33:07,321 --> 01:33:09,056
when you never leave your house.
1765
01:33:09,190 --> 01:33:10,958
So, what are you saying?
1766
01:33:11,092 --> 01:33:12,293
I want to be your partner.
1767
01:33:13,160 --> 01:33:15,696
You on the inside,
me on the outside.
1768
01:33:15,830 --> 01:33:17,631
Scooping stories,
winning Pulitzers.
1769
01:33:20,935 --> 01:33:22,069
Deep Park...
1770
01:33:23,170 --> 01:33:24,939
I think that this is
going to be the beginning
1771
01:33:25,072 --> 01:33:27,475
of a beautiful friendship.
1772
01:33:44,758 --> 01:33:47,661
Spotted on Washington Place.
1773
01:33:47,795 --> 01:33:50,197
New tenants
moving into the townhouse
1774
01:33:50,331 --> 01:33:54,835
Lindsay Lohan left behind
just three short months ago.
1775
01:33:54,969 --> 01:33:59,140
The fortunate newcomers
are a well-known French actress,
1776
01:33:59,273 --> 01:34:02,676
her actor-director husband,
and their children,
1777
01:34:02,810 --> 01:34:04,579
who sources say
have just been accepted
1778
01:34:04,712 --> 01:34:07,348
into the prestigious
Little Red Schoolhouse.
1779
01:34:08,716 --> 01:34:12,019
In other news,
Townhouse Confidential
1780
01:34:12,153 --> 01:34:15,356
has learned that
the Perry sisters' townhouse
1781
01:34:15,489 --> 01:34:18,459
has recently passedinto other hands,
1782
01:34:18,593 --> 01:34:22,963
but that, according to the terms
of this unusual deal,
1783
01:34:23,097 --> 01:34:25,466
the three sisters
may continue to live there
1784
01:34:25,600 --> 01:34:28,802
rent free for as long
as they wish to do so.
1785
01:34:29,970 --> 01:34:33,407
In the words of the late,
great Jane Austin...
1786
01:34:34,842 --> 01:34:37,878
"It is a truth
universally acknowledged
1787
01:34:38,012 --> 01:34:40,582
"that three
scorching hot sisters
1788
01:34:40,714 --> 01:34:43,518
"who live
in a West Village townhouse
1789
01:34:43,652 --> 01:34:45,587
"will not stay single for long."
1790
01:35:14,315 --> 01:35:18,152
Oh, Mother, you have no idea
what the Village holds.
1791
01:35:18,285 --> 01:35:20,888
Oil, grease, grime.
1792
01:35:21,021 --> 01:35:22,557
The trash of life.
1793
01:35:22,691 --> 01:35:23,757
The beautiful...
1794
01:35:25,159 --> 01:35:29,196
delicious, oily
goodness of life, mother!
1795
01:35:30,231 --> 01:35:32,833
Oh, mother.
1796
01:35:33,801 --> 01:35:36,538
My plans. My plans have changed.
1797
01:35:38,405 --> 01:35:39,807
Get on board, mother.
1798
01:35:41,442 --> 01:35:42,910
Get on board.
1799
01:35:43,944 --> 01:35:46,146
The Barrow family is back.
1800
01:35:48,382 --> 01:35:49,584
No one's perfect.
1801
01:35:50,384 --> 01:35:52,587
Like that time Lizzie and I
hooked up on New Year's, right?
1802
01:35:52,721 --> 01:35:54,255
- Meant nothing.
- Maybe not to you,
1803
01:35:54,388 --> 01:35:55,789
but it meant something to me.
1804
01:35:55,923 --> 01:35:57,258
You didn't even
text me the next day.
1805
01:35:57,391 --> 01:36:00,294
Liz, I thought
we were getting married.
1806
01:36:00,427 --> 01:36:01,862
You still have
feelings for Tommy?
1807
01:36:01,996 --> 01:36:03,565
No, of course not.
1808
01:36:03,698 --> 01:36:05,299
But he still could have
texted me, right?
1809
01:36:12,540 --> 01:36:15,309
"The Robert and
Roberta Bethune house.
1810
01:36:15,442 --> 01:36:18,613
"Built in 1845, the Robert
and Roberta Bethune house
1811
01:36:18,747 --> 01:36:20,481
"was built for
a brother and sister
1812
01:36:20,615 --> 01:36:23,117
"who lived in this
Greek Revival townhouse
1813
01:36:23,250 --> 01:36:26,320
"for 93 years without
ever venturing outside
1814
01:36:26,453 --> 01:36:27,622
"to date or marry.
1815
01:36:28,789 --> 01:36:30,924
"Well known
as West Village hoarders
1816
01:36:31,058 --> 01:36:33,728
"with hundreds of cats,
rumors swirled
1817
01:36:33,861 --> 01:36:36,330
"that the Bethune twins
were actually--"
1818
01:36:36,463 --> 01:36:40,034
Lizzie, can we go home already.
1819
01:36:40,167 --> 01:36:42,604
Come on, we've only got
one house left anyway. Let's go.
1820
01:36:44,171 --> 01:36:48,108
♪ Keep on trying, give iteverything we've got ♪
1821
01:36:48,242 --> 01:36:51,812
♪ Gotta believe find outwhat we're made of ♪
1822
01:36:51,945 --> 01:36:54,381
♪ Gonna keep my head upjust keep smiling ♪
1823
01:36:54,516 --> 01:36:57,818
♪ Even on a rainy daykeep movin' ♪
1824
01:36:57,951 --> 01:37:01,021
♪ Clean up the messand make a better way ♪
1825
01:37:01,155 --> 01:37:03,157
♪ Keep groovin' ♪
1826
01:37:03,290 --> 01:37:05,959
♪ Do my thing anddon't care what people say ♪
1827
01:37:06,594 --> 01:37:10,964
♪ Gotta get up, gotta keepworkin' every single day ♪
1828
01:37:11,098 --> 01:37:13,434
♪ There's always gonna beanother greedy grabber ♪
1829
01:37:13,568 --> 01:37:15,637
♪ There's always gonna beanother rumor gabber ♪
1830
01:37:15,770 --> 01:37:19,340
♪ Always going to have tofind a way to tow the line ♪
1831
01:37:20,240 --> 01:37:22,309
♪ And if you don't loseyour sister's trust ♪
1832
01:37:22,443 --> 01:37:24,779
♪ And if you don'tlose it all and bust ♪
1833
01:37:24,912 --> 01:37:28,382
♪ Keep on working itand you'll be fine ♪
1834
01:37:28,516 --> 01:37:30,451
♪ We gotta get up ♪
1835
01:37:30,585 --> 01:37:33,187
♪ Working harder thanwe've ever worked before ♪
1836
01:37:33,320 --> 01:37:35,690
♪ Gotta speak up,Be a fighter ♪
1837
01:37:35,824 --> 01:37:39,126
♪ When something's worthfighting for, never give up ♪
1838
01:37:39,259 --> 01:37:43,197
♪ Keep on trying,give it everything we've got ♪
1839
01:37:43,330 --> 01:37:46,900
♪ Gotta believefind out what we're made of ♪
1840
01:37:47,034 --> 01:37:51,539
♪ Keep my head up, just keepsmiling even on a rainy day ♪
1841
01:37:51,673 --> 01:37:56,176
♪ Keep movin', clean up the messand make a better way ♪
1842
01:37:56,310 --> 01:37:58,245
♪ Keep groovin' ♪
1843
01:37:58,379 --> 01:38:01,448
♪ Do my thing anddon't care what people say ♪
1844
01:38:01,583 --> 01:38:03,951
♪ Gotta get up,gotta keep working ♪
141914
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