Original subtitles

The definition of love is an intense feeling

of affection and concern toward another person.

You know, now I have never actually been in love,

and Lord knows I've tried.

No, that's not good.

That's not good.

Seeing love happen for one of my closest friends,

that has been just a beautiful thing.

You look like The Little Mermaid.

You know, now that there is a ring on my finger,

I have to ask, what took you so long?

Mm.

I'm serious.

I dunno.

I guess just because it was against university policy.

Yeah, well that's where we work.

It's what we do.

It's a job.

And a job shouldn't get to determine how its employees live,

as long as it doesn't interfere with their work.

They feel it does interfere.

I mean, it makes sense.

Everything gets harder once emotions

come into play, you know?

That's why we usually work alone.

Usually.

But we knew the policy before we took the job.

We were just kids then, things change.

People change.

Yeah, but policy doesn't.

You know, you are the first partner I ever had.

And the last.

This all just feels so surreal, you know?

I don't want it to end.

I hope it never has to.

You know, I could really use a drink right about now.

I could always use a drink,

and a dance.

Oh, God, I'm an awful dancer, you know?

Don't I know it?

Oh my God.

She's a champagne queen here.

Someone, please get this woman a glass of champagne.

I'll race you.

♪ I know a place ♪

♪ Skies so wide and far ♪

♪ Though the sun shines bright ♪

♪ You're my only star ♪

♪ Oh, you're my only star ♪

♪ I know a place ♪

♪ The ocean clear and blue ♪

♪ Though the moon hangs low ♪

♪ You're my only view ♪

♪ Oh, you're my only view ♪

This place hasn't changed a bit, has it?

Nope.

It still tastes awful.

Well I don't know why you even ordered it.

You didn't even like it the last time.

I like that little umbrella.

Excuse me.

What can I get you, guys?

What do you want, margarita?

Yeah.

Two margaritas. Rocks.

With salt?

Definitely with salt.

With salt, please.

Mm-hmm, two margaritas on the rocks.

I like everything salty.

Mm-hmm.

♪ When it's cold and gray ♪

Excuse me.

Sorry, we didn't mean to interrupt.

Oh no, we're sorry.

We didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable.

Honeymoon?

Is it that obvious?

He and I used to be in love like that once.

Did you say once?

Yeah.

Well, it does get better.

Trust me, we should know.

We got married 20 years ago today.

Oh, well, happy anniversary then.

Congrats.

I'm not gonna say it hasn't been a long road.

Well anything that's worth the drive there is, yeah?

That is true.

How long are y'all in Puerto Rico?

Oh, it's our last day tomorrow, unfortunately.

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

Back to reality, huh?

Yeah, back to reality.

It's been paradise, of course.

No doubt.

It's been great to...

Somehow we have managed to not get any fresh seafood

since we've been here.

Well ours here is excellent.

We catch it fresh out of the water right back there daily.

Oh, well, what he means is he hasn't had a chance

to catch it himself yet.

He likes to pretend he knows how to fish.

What?

I know how to fish.

What, do you think we don't fish back in merry old England?

Brilliant water.

Beautiful views.

It's the thrill of the chase.

You know?

That is a perfect holiday.

And I have been fishing since I was just a little lad.

Well he always liked to fish too,

but I always found it incredibly boring.

I'd rather sew, and I hate sewing.

Well if you're looking to do the fishing yourself

I'd recommend going down the harbor and renting a boat.

Just go down there and ask around

and somebody will be willing to take you out.

Mm, thank you.

Yeah, I can do that if I'm allowed.

They're allowed too.

No, I mean, if we have enough time.

I mean.

Oh.

I'll tell you what, love birds,

these two old birds gotta get back to the nest right now.

- Aw. - Aw.

But we're taking care of your drinks.

Oh, no, no, no.

Absolutely not.

It's not necessary. - My pleasure.

Okay?

You enjoy the rest of your time here now, all right.

- Thank you. - Thank you.

♪ Back into me with your heart ♪

Maybe you catch some fish.

Mm.

You know, that could be us one day.

Oh, well, we've managed to survive this long.

What's another 20 years, huh?

One day at a time.

Right?

You know, I love what I do.

Where are you?

Just...

Just tell me you're all right.

Okay?

I can hear your breathing the sounds of the car,

but I'm worried about you.

I can't go through with it.

I'm sorry, I thought I could, but...

Listen, whatever I've done, I'll, I'll fix it.

Okay? Just tell-

It's what we've done.

What we can't do.

Come on, hon, I love you.

We can do anything together,

you and me, we already have.

I love you too.

But I want out.

I want out of all of it.

Now you know better than anybody that's not possible.

Just come back now and we can still fix this.

We, we'll fix all of this.

No.

We can't.

Hi, Dad.

♪ I spent so many sleepless nights ♪

♪ Missing you and wishing you were holding me tight ♪

♪ I cried almost every day ♪

♪ Longing for the time before you ever went away ♪

♪ I wake up every morning alone ♪

♪ Praying it will be the day you wanna come home ♪

♪ If you ever walk through the door ♪

♪ I would never take you for granted anymore ♪

Hm.

If this is paradise...

♪ You might not love me in the way that I do ♪

♪ But I'll still be waiting and devoted to you ♪

♪ I dream of you when stars are above ♪

♪ When the sun is shining I think only of your love ♪

♪ One thing I know will always be true ♪

♪ I will live out every day devoted to you ♪

♪ Devoted to you ♪

What have you done?

Hello?

Well we found your runaway bride.

You were right, she's here.

Right where you said she would be.

Her car is parked right out front.

I didn't even know about the damn place.

It's just where her mum said she might be at.

Just try and hold her then until I get there.

The university already knows about what happened.

You thought they wouldn't?

Well, I mean, geez.

Half the staff was at that church tonight.

Yeah, well I'm gonna try and talk to the Dean

before they find out the rest.

You sure about that?

Hm?

I mean, they've been bending over backwards for you.

I just, I don't know, I don't see any way

of coming back from that.

If she wants what she really wants, you know.

Look, just do what I ask for now.

All right?

It's my wedding night for Christ's sake.

You're supposed to be my best man.

Hmm.

I just wanna talk to her first.

Whatever you say, chief.

I'll be there as soon as I can.

So he just, he wants us to keep her here for now.

He thinks he's gonna get her back?

Yeah, well, you know our boy, he's in love.

What can I say?

And love makes you do some crazy things.

You know the definition

of love is an intense feeling of affection.

"The definition of love."

Is that from your best man's speech?

You're not gonna torture us with that shit again, are you?

You know, being somebody's best man

is a job I take very seriously.

And I worked my fucking ass off on that thing so, yeah.

This is bullshit, you two are arguing about a speech.

We're chasing after her.

Love is a liability.

Speaking of love, I got a match.

She's hot too.

I'm gonna marry this one.

Mm.

Guys, we need to focus.

Focus.

We got a bridezilla killer on the loose

somewhere around here.

Wait a minute.

Can't live with 'em, can't kill 'em.

Ah, right.

And nobody does.

Are we clear on that?

It is a containment mission.

Remember, you know her.

She's supposed to be our friend.

We haven't forgotten.

I thought we were going to her wedding tonight.

Hm.

Yeah, well things changed.

Honestly, I always thought our boy could do better.

Where the hell is Big Sexy?

Has anyone seen Big Sexy?

All right.

Honey, I'm home.

♪ Love comes along ♪

♪ And all heartache is gone in a glimmer ♪

All right, I'm gonna have you three,

you meet up with Big Sexy

and go check that side of the house.

You two check that side.

I'm just gonna wait here.

If you can, just try to flush her out.

Let's go.

Move, move, move.

Why don't you just kick in the goddamn doors?

Look at us, we are gentlemen.

Right?

We wanna keep this shit as peaceful as possible.

Kicking the fucking door in, doesn't exactly fit the bill.

Unfortunately.

Toodles.

♪ Rush ♪

Who the fuck says, "Toodles?"

♪ After the thrill ♪

Motherfucker taking this best man shit too serious.

♪ Love comes along for the ♪

We're gonna go cover the basement doors and windows.

You two, take this entrance.

Who died and made him boss?

You know what?

I don't think I like his tone.

No?

No, I don't.

I can't see shit.

The beamer, the music, the lights.

Oh, she's in there.

Come on.

Man, this is some bullshit.

I should be balls deep in some bridesmaids right now

instead of doing this shit.

Blowing up right now.

Yeah, the ladies love T-Bone.

T-Bone, put that phone on silent.

Okay.

Sorry, Big Sexy.

I never asked you, who gave you the name Big Sexy?

I did.

I'm big and I'm sexy.

Ah, yeah, good.

Out of the way, Mr. Sexy.

Come on.

Ah!

You cannot open the door without the key.

Let's go the other way.

All right, go ahead.

Hmm.

♪ Today, I'd like to just be your valentine ♪

♪ By now you know it ♪

♪ Be my valentine ♪

Ah.

What are we gonna do now, T-Bone?

What?

What's the plan, T-Bone?

We're friends, right?

Yeah, we're friends.

Can I be honest with you?

Yeah.

Why are you such a disappointment?

No, I'm serious.

Why are you such a disappointment?

We should already be in there.

Why aren't we in there?

Answer me, goddammit.

I don't know, let me think.

Let me think.

If one door doesn't open, the other one will.

Well, I'll...

Just follow my lead.

I'll show it to you.

Show me the way.

Are you going first?

Yeah.

♪ In my heart you are my ♪

Open the goddamn door.

Can you please just open the door?

Yes?

Pretty please.

Sometimes these things just need a little bit of finesse.

All right, just follow my lead.

T-Bone will show you how it's done.

♪ I love you ♪

Are you serious?

What the fuck just happened?

We had her.

Why did you just stand there?

You're supposed to have point.

I thought you had point.

No one is paying you to think.

Who the fuck is paying you to think?

No one is paying me for anything.

Shut up.

Shut up.

Nice hands.

Feels like Russian massage.

After we catch her, I'm going to kill you.

I swear to God I will...

♪ Now we fly without a care ♪

♪ Say goodbye to the folks down there ♪

♪ Ask my why ♪

Oh my God.

♪ Across the room ♪

♪ Like a bride without a groom ♪

♪ If I tried would she assume I've been drinking ♪

♪ Too much thinking ♪

♪ Won't do me no good ♪

♪ Bells are ringing ♪

♪ Telling me that I should ♪

♪ Now we fly without a care ♪

♪ Say goodbye to the folks down there ♪

♪ Ask me why ♪

♪ Or when or where ♪

♪ I won't answer ♪

♪ I'll romance her ♪

Wait a minute, I thought we weren't kicking the door in?

We...

We tried to be gentlemanly.

Clearly she is not going to make this easy.

Oh.

And you thought she would?

Well, like I said, she's supposed

to be one of our friends.

Were.

Yeah, see, I knew we should have brought our supplies.

Relax.

I mean, it's not like she has anything either.

Right?

They were very clear,

no guns at the wedding.

Not even the cars.

Second amendment be damned.

Still we could have at least stopped.

Why?

It's not like we're here to kill anybody.

I mean, not yet, right?

Yeah, well I still took mine to the wedding.

I'd rather have my utensils and need 'em

than need 'em and not have 'em.

Interesting.

Well where are they?

I left them in the van when we took the car.

So, wait a second.

Have any of you even seen her yet?

She's somewhere in here.

No shit.

Why don't you go find her?

Hmm?

Guess I'll check upstairs.

Guess I'll go with you.

Ah, ah, ah, ah.

Why don't I just hang on to this?

Yeah.

Toodles.

And I guess I'll look around down here.

And I shall find some better music.

Hey, newly weds.

Hey.

Oh, hey.

We heard this was the best breakfast spot in Puerto Rico.

So we'd fill our bellies

before we figure out this fishing situation.

Speaking of which, do you happen to know where we could rent

or charter a boat?

Like the bartender said last night.

For fishing.

Hmm.

Yeah. No, not really.

We're just passing through, like you all,

and I really wouldn't know.

Hmm.

I'll tell you what though,

why don't you both come out with us today?

Spend the day with us on our boat.

Oh, no.

We don't want to impose.

Especially not if you guys are just here on vacation too.

Yeah, really appreciate your offer but-

This is every day for us.

Come on now, be nice.

Stop me from cleaning the damn thing today.

Come on.

Of course.

It'd be great to have some young blood around.

I mean we hardly ever have company.

Wait, you live on the boat?

On the water, wherever it takes us.

Nowhere. Everywhere.

Always an adventure.

Well that's amazing.

Yeah.

You need a boat?

The come on, let's go to the boat.

You need a boat, right?

I got a boat.

How about it?

All right.

Well all right.

What do you think you're doing?

Just put down the knife.

Well I was hoping to have the night

to figure it out a little more.

Looks like you already made your decision.

Hmm.

I'm working on it.

You know, he told us not to hurt you.

He told you not to hurt me?

Oh, that's nice.

Meow.

Meow.

Meow.

Oh.

I just wanna talk.

Well it's too late for that.

What the hell took you so long?

That was a terrible idea.

Froze my ass off.

Hey, it was your idea, man.

Next time you get in the refrigerator.

Next time you're the distraction.

Shut up, bitch.

Fucking, bitch.

Now you're really gonna get it, bitch.

You wanna play?

Then let's play.

You killed my friend, you fucking bitch.

You fucking psychopath.

Hey, where you going?

Where are you going?

Don't you wanna play?

Let's play with the devil, huh?

Fuck!

Huh!

Fucking start!

Get up.

Get up, bitch.

Get the fuck up, pussy cat.

You wanna play with the doggy?

Woof.

Shut the fuck up.

Shut up.

Come on.

Huh?

I'll show you what made me the Golden Gloves Champion

of my community.

Come on.

Yeah, show me that leg.

Show me that leg.

Come on, I'm ready, pussy cat.

Too bad, I really liked you.

Now.

Oh, you bitch.

♪ Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mm ♪

Wow, you are really taking this up

to a whole new level, baby.

Hmm? Huh?

I mean, you're making it harder than it has to be though.

No, we didn't come here to hurt you.

Not really.

Well if you're so tough, come and get me,

you piece of shit.

Woo-ee.

♪ Lovey dovey lovey one ♪

♪ Come sit down on my knee ♪

♪ Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah ♪

♪ Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah ♪

♪ Tell you a story ♪

♪ Happened a long time ago ♪

♪ A-little bitty pretty one ♪

You know, up until a few hours ago we were all here

to celebrate your wedding.

And I had one hell of a speech prepared.

Damn, and it was supposed to be a magical fucking evening.

You know, surrounded by friends, drinking, laughing.

Me cutting a little rug.

You know, I was here for it, baby.

Where'd she go?

Upstairs.

Ooh. - I'm tired of this shit.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Not yet.

Not yet?

The game has changed, motherfucker.

It was her that threw the kill switch.

She threw the panel lights.

Okay, but, but what about our friends?

Right?

Oh, what about our friends?

They're gone.

Maybe you don't even give a shit about them,

but I still do.

And we will drink to them for they will be missed.

Are you kidding me?

Do I look like I am kidding you right now?

Hmm?

You know, I'm starting to miss working alone.

Mm.

You know, those are the two people

that we could actually talk to about what we do.

We should've had the day off.

We should be enjoying ourselves tonight.

Okay?

So instead we will give them a motherfucking toast.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Thank you.

♪ You twirl your hair and glance my way ♪

♪ Blase ♪

Mm.

♪ We go playing that love game ♪

Look here, how appropriate.

I mean, it ain't work if we're having fun.

Right?

Fun?

I'm sure as shit not having any fucking fun.

Oh, speak for yourself.

I mean, he is our friend and he would do the same for us.

Yeah, well I'm supposed to be drunk,

getting my groove on with one of the bridesmaids right now.

And whose fault is that?

Hm?

We trained together.

Shared secrets.

God, man, I love those guys.

They're like my brothers.

You know, love.

You know, it's an intense feeling

of affection and concern toward another human being.

Me?

I haven't been in love.

No.

Come on, man.

Not this fucking speech again, please.

I am doing this to honor them.

They would want to hear it.

Okay?

But seeing love happen,

especially with one of your closest friends,

it is a beautiful thing.

It really is.

Now, when I was asked to give the best man's speech,

I can't say I was surprised.

I mean, I killed a lot of people to prove

that I was the best.

Right?

I kid. I kid.

I kid.

Oh, wow.

Seriously though, welcome to our joyous occasion.

In my name...

Ooh.

All right, we'll finish this later.

To those that have fallen and those that are still standing.

Hmm?

Cheers.

I mean, that is one crazy story.

And I can't believe y'all are still together now.

It sounds like you guys had it even rougher than we did.

Yeah, well, what can I say?

A lot of people had to die for us to be together.

It sounds like it.

Where'd you bury the bodies?

Backyard?

Yeah, well, nobody really knows

what goes on behind closed doors, do they?

No, they do not.

- Stop it. - No, but seriously

he was crazy and she deserved better.

Don't know that she got that, but here I am.

Thank you, honey.

So what about you two?

How did you guys meet?

Well, that's a long story.

But I'll tell you what,

there were a lot of people didn't want us together neither.

Yeah.

That was a lot of years ago now though.

- Yeah. - Right?

20 years.

Love conquers all.

Now we just go wherever our hearts lead us.

Wow.

Do you ever have any friends or family come visit you?

No. No.

Unfortunately.

But mostly, fortunately.

We were gonna tell the museum.

I gotta cook.

Now that's definitely a lifestyle I could get behind.

What do you think?

What about you guys?

Anything you miss?

Do you ever have any regrets maybe?

Just that we never had children.

Yeah.

No way to go on once we're gone.

Not to try and dig too deep or anything

but is that because you didn't wanna have any,

or you couldn't?

Oh, we could.

We want to but it just didn't really make sense

when we look at our way of life.

What do you mean?

I don't know.

Just we both worked a lot.

Both stressed.

Both traveling for work all the time.

Both had a demanding job.

Well it looks like it all worked out

for you guys in the end.

We have a good life.

Yeah, we do.

We have our ups and downs like everyone,

but I wouldn't trade for the world.

Trust me, no, no, no.

You know, I learned a lot about life.

Everything I did, you know?

But that's what life is, right?

It's about learning.

Got respect, honor, endurance.

Everything I did taught me what I needed to know to live

right up to this moment.

And what about that scar on your shoulder?

What did that teach you?

You don't have to talk about it,

if you don't want to.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

It's good knowing when you're close to death.

Makes you not forget how to live.

August 7th, 1986.

That's the day that changed my life forever.

Eight of us, all sent on foreign soil to take out

some high ranking official over there.

Fed a bunch of lies.

That's often the way to justify actions.

You never question above.

Not back then.

He said it was supposed to be a quick, easy in and out.

And we believed him.

You know?

But the thing was...

The eight of us, we were among the best at what we did.

But we never worked together.

I mean, not as a team.

I mean, we'd hung out together.

We drank beers together.

We trained together, respected each other.

We was all the best of friends, is what we were.

I mean we always, we always worked alone.

That's how it was preferred.

Always.

That's how we preferred it.

You know, we were all good enough

that we could do whatever we needed to do alone.

One man, that person, he can slip in and out,

but you bring a group, all of a sudden that's gonna bring

a lot of attention.

And that's exactly what happened on that day,

August 7th, 1986.

See, instead of being on offense,

we found ourselves on defense.

Might as well have been the 4th of July in that room.

We were...

Bang.

Bows flying all over the place.

Ringing.

That's the kind of ringing don't leave your head either.

It's the kind of ringing that wake you up

in the middle of night today.

Yeah, they was my brothers.

There's no way to erase the sight of watching your brother

take his last breath.

And my night, that was me.

Seven times.

See, I was the only one to make it back.

Oh, shotgun.

Shoulder.

But I survived it.

August 7th, 1986.

What a goddamn day.

I'm sorry.

Sometimes you lose your closest,

'cause that's what happens at war.

Right?

But you know the funny thing?

Back then, usually the day before you went off

on the day before, you went and you had a bachelor party.

Right?

I didn't have anyone left to throw mine on August 8th, 1986.

But that did not stop me from marrying

the most beautiful woman in the world on August 9th, 1986.

The happiest day of my life.

This is it.

Everything I've done has taught me what I needed to learn

to live right here in this moment.

Now, enough of all this dark stuff.

Right?

This is a honeymoon, I thought.

We are in paradise, take a look.

Look at water and we got islands.

You two go and have some fun.

All right?

Take advantage of this ride.

Well that sounds like a great idea to me.

I can help you carry some of that stuff out.

♪ Away we go to lands beyond the sea ♪

♪ Nice and slow ♪

♪ No other place to be ♪

♪ Away we go, darling, come away with me ♪

♪ Away we go ♪

♪ We'll find a sunny shore ♪

♪ Then we'll know that love's forevermore ♪

♪ Away we go you're everything I'm searching for ♪

Mm.

♪ When darkness comes we hide away ♪

♪ When storms do rock the gentle tide ♪

♪ I know the dawn will light the day ♪

♪ As long as you're right by my side ♪

♪ Away we go ♪

Shit, she's a runner.

Oh, easy.

Easy, there, tiger.

Okay, maybe she's just fucking with us.

Right?

And maybe she's still upstairs right now.

Hmm?

I mean, regardless, we will find out.

I love our dear groom.

I really do.

I do.

I'm the best man, of course I do.

But this wedding is officially called off.

So are you saying we're cool with a killer now?

Well we're not gonna sit around here

and let her kill us.

Are we?

Yeah, I'm not down for her killing us.

That's for damn sure.

Yo, he's gonna be pissed though.

Oh, God.

It's for his own good, and ours.

Since you're the best man, you can tell him

we killed his bride.

I am the best man.

And I will.

You know what?

Let's make this a little more fun, shall we?

Huh?

Okay, we're gonna call this mission...

I got it. I got it.

Showdown at the family cabin.

Whoever gets to her first wins the honeymoon

that I purchased for the happy couple.

Yeah, but you probably pick some bougie shit like Paris.

So cliche.

Puerto Rico, my friend.

I love Puerto Rico.

I bet you do.

So...

You, why don't you take the upstairs.

In case it was a diversion.

You can fuck off to the basement, in case she's hiding.

And we shall take the front,

make sure she doesn't get one of those cars.

Right?

- Right. - Come on.

Okay, which way to go.

Which way to go.

Actually, you take, you take left.

Yeah, you.

Yeah, all right.

Nah.

Nah, you take right, I lean left.

Okay?

Right?

Focus, motherfucker.

Focus. Focus.

Mm, they're watching.

Sweetheart?

Where are you?

I'm missing my dancing partner.

Come on.

Yeah, sure.

Got me out here looking for her crazy ass by myself.

Everybody else in pairs.

Like I'm the lone fucking ranger

with no Tonto.

This is some bullshit.

Where, where, where is that beautiful bride?

Huh?

Sweetheart, you out here?

Let me see that beautiful dress.

Nah, I don't think you're out here.

Oh, but I love this song.

Ooh, yes.

♪ When you touch me, baby ♪

♪ My heart is on fire ♪

♪ You're so sweet and so lovely ♪

♪ The only one I desire ♪

♪ Now that I'm ♪

Oh, I love this jam.

Ooh.

Anything?

Another dead brother out there.

Really?

Yeah.

Well we'll have a toast for him later, yeah?

God, I hope not.

You...

Do you think our girl

is that clever where she would double back?

Hmm?

Anything?

Nada.

No, keep looking.

Yeah?

And keep your head on a swivel.

I swear to God.

♪ Watch the cars back til the break of day ♪

♪ Crazy Johnny and the Chevrolet ♪

♪ Crazy Johnny and the Chevrolet ♪

♪ On the weekends everybody pack the barns ♪

♪ Next to the highway with the wings and cars ♪

♪ When he tells a story makes it sound like a dream ♪

♪ It's the good old boys and lots of speed ♪

♪ I wasn't here back then ♪

♪ I'd be jamming rock n' roll with all my friends ♪

♪ Watch the cars right til the break of day ♪

♪ Crazy Johnny and the Chevrolet ♪

I guess we're not friends anymore.

You were the one who ran.

You can run from them, but you can't run from him.

We're number one.

Nobody gets out alive.

Well I guess I'm just breaking all the rules.

♪ Tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet ♪

♪ He rocks in the tree tops all the day long ♪

♪ Hoppin' and a-boppin' and a-singing his song ♪

♪ All the little birds on Jaybird Street ♪

♪ Love to hear the robin go tweet tweet tweet ♪

♪ Rockin' robin ♪

♪ Tweet, tweet, tweet ♪

♪ Rockin' robin ♪

♪ Tweet, tweedle-lee-dee ♪

♪ Blow rockin' robin ♪

♪ 'Cause we're really gonna rock tonight ♪

♪ Tweet, tweedle-lee-dee ♪

♪ Every little swallow, every chick-a-dee ♪

♪ Every little bird in the tall oak tree ♪

♪ The wise old owl, the big black crow ♪

♪ Flappin' their wings singing go bird go ♪

♪ Rockin' robin, tweet, tweet, tweet ♪

♪ Rockin' robin ♪

♪ Tweet, tweedle-lee-dee ♪

♪ Blow rockin' robin ♪

♪ 'Cause we're really gonna rock tonight ♪

♪ Tweet, tweet ♪

♪ Tweet, tweet ♪

♪ Tweet, tweedle-lee-dee ♪

♪ Tweet ♪

♪ Tweet, tweet ♪

♪ Tweet, tweedle-lee-dee ♪

♪ Tweet ♪

♪ Tweet, tweedle-lee-dee ♪

♪ A pretty little raven at the bird-band stand ♪

♪ Taught him how to do the bop, and it was grand ♪

♪ They started going steady and bless my soul ♪

♪ He out-bopped the buzzard and the oriole ♪

♪ He rocks in the tree top all the day long ♪

♪ Hoppin' and a-bop ♪

♪ All the little birds on Jaybird Street ♪

♪ Love to hear the robin go tweet tweet tweet ♪

♪ Rockin' robin, tweet, tweet, tweet ♪

♪ Rockin' robin, tweet, tweedle-lee-dee ♪

Mm.

Mm-mm.

This was my favorite fucking song.

It really was.

Oh, now you are fucking dead, sweetheart.

Run, run.

I love it when they run.

Huh?

Yeah.

Where the hell are my keys?

Mm, looks like you're going to Puerto Rico.

You bet your ass I am.

Where did you think you were gonna go?

Hmm?

I mean, goddamn, a wedding, that is one thing,

but you said you wanted out, and nobody gets out.

You can't just leave.

That...

That is university policy actually.

And you should know that.

Okay, fine.

I know, I know, it's, it's cliche, but you know too much.

Hell, we all know a little too much.

But you did read the policy, right?

When you signed the papers?

No?

Woo.

She's a fucking fire cracker, aint she?

Come on.

Come on.

Come on, now.

Mm-hmm.

Where do you think you're going?

Since it's your wedding day, we will wait for the groom.

All right?

But if I wasn't such an amazing best man

I would just cut your fucking head off right now.

Okay?

You can, I guess, get the rest of her inside.

We'll let the two love birds discuss

and he can decide what he wants to do with her.

In the meantime,

I shall have another toast

and work on my best man speech.

Because you never know, could be a wedding day.

Woo, so excited.

Asshole, make the black man pick up the garbage.

Ain't that always the case?

Oh, yeah.

♪ Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mm ♪

Come on, princess.

♪ Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mm ♪

Fuck waiting on the groom, I'm gonna kill you now.

I'll cut your motherfucking tongue off

and I will watch you bleed.

♪ Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mm ♪

♪ Little bitty pretty one ♪

The definition of love is an intense feeling

of affection and concern towards another person.

You fucking bitch!

You thought I forgot the keys?

You thought I was running?

Fuck!

I wanted you here.

♪ Tell you a story ♪

I have never been in love.

I've never been in love.

♪ A-little bitty pretty one ♪

♪ I've been watchin' you grow ♪

But when I saw love happen to a close,

a close friend of mine,

it meant the world to me.

It meant the world to me.

It changed...

It was, it was a very special moment.

Nah, dammit.

When I...

When I witnessed a close friend.

Where the fuck are they, dude?

♪ Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mm ♪

Oh, what now you stupid...

Ah.

Hey, buddy.

What's up?

You wanna talk about that screwed policy now?

Huh?

Okay. Okay.

What is it that you want, sweetie?

Huh?

I mean they were gonna give you the wedding that you wanted,

and they never do that.

They were gonna break the rules.

And now what?

You, you what, you expect them to just let you go now?

Come on.

Oh, I knew they would never just let me go.

But there is no happily ever after what they gave.

Oh, come on, there's no happily ever after, ever.

I mean, look, where is the happily ever after

right here in this shit show, huh?

Well you were the ones that came knocking on my door

like a bunch of assholes.

And you are lucky it was us.

I mean, shit, we were supposed to be friends

and this was as good as it was gonna get.

Oh, you see, friend, I don't wanna have to be given

anything anymore.

I want a chance at normal.

Boring.

Nothing out of the ordinary ever happens kind of life.

Okay. Okay.

And how?

How the hell were you gonna do that?

Hmm?

I mean, you could get rid of all of us, you know?

But they will just send more.

And next time you won't even know who they are

because this school, oh, this school is old school baby.

It is old school.

I mean, they've been around long before us,

and they will be here long after.

Okay?

I mean, you just don't suddenly

up and decide you wanna have a normal life

when you teach at the shadowy organization

that subcontracts assassinations

to every world fucking government.

Come on.

Enough.

Thanks for the history lesson, professor.

But at least I'm making it my choice to take that chance.

Yeah. Yeah.

You know what?

He is coming.

He is coming here.

Okay. Okay, okay.

Okay. Okay.

Okay, he was gonna go talk to the board first

before he came here.

Okay. Easy.

Easy. Now.

Easy.

I'm just be surprised if he's not on his way already.

Okay?

Listen. Listen.

He's still helping you.

Whoa. Easy.

Still helping you after everything that you've done.

It's sad, as the best man, that you're breaking

my boy's fucking heart.

You know that, right?

You know that.

Well maybe I should have never even tried

to go through with it.

But by the time I realized it was already too late,

the train was already on the tracks.

Come here.

Okay.

You're a killer.

I'm a killer.

And I will kill you.

I've already killed most of our fucking friends tonight.

Yeah, I see that and I really appreciate it.

Yeah.

Call him.

What?

The one we both still have left.

Oh God.

Yeah, I want you, I want you to pull out

your phone slowly and I want you to call him

and I want you to tell him that I'm dead

and that he doesn't have to come here anymore.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

What?

You want me to call him

and tell him his best man killed his bride to be?

Come on, he would be so fucking pissed at me.

I can't do it.

No fucking way.

Oh.

Sh.

Are you more worried about pissing him off right now?

Or pissing me off more?

You, darling, of course.

Definitely.

Then fucking call him.

All right, all right, all right.

All right. All right.

What's going on?

I just got back from the Dean's, everything's cool for now.

I'm just about to head that way.

Where is she?

Ah, she's dead.

Do you hear what I said?

I said that she is dead.

You killed her?

I mean, I didn't really have a choice.

I mean, you know how she is.

And she took out every other guy.

So-

All of them?

Well, I mean, shit man, I just, you know,

I had to kill her before she killed me.

But listen, listen, if it's any consolation

she was one tough bitch.

You know?

But I am sorry about everything.

He hung up.

So...

But listen, I, you know, while we're waiting

for him I should give you the speech that I prepared.

I worked my ass off on it.

You know the definition of love-

Hey, bitch.

I ain't finished with you yet.

God, not you again.

Oh, looks like everyone is dead.

Good, they were weak.

I was supposed to be best man.

Huh?

You caught me slipping.

It ain't happening again.

How was your flight?

It was rough.

But I'm here, ain't I?

I guess you came back for more.

You ready for round two?

Are you ready?

I'm gonna rip your fucking head off.

And you're gonna regret this.

Whoa.

Whoa.

Wow.

I'm gonna beat you like your daddy used to.

Come on.

Come on, bitch.

What did you just call me?

What did it sound like?

A female dog?

Come on, bitch.

Don't you ever call me a bitch again.

Fuck you.

Come on, bitch.

What the fuck?

What the actual fuck?

You better let me go right now you fucking...

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

This is actually really good.

This is good.

We're in a good place right now.

You know.

Me and you we're a lot alike.

We are.

All the fighting and killing.

It's exhausting.

I'm over it.

I'm done.

You want out?

So do I.

So do I.

Yo, this is perfect.

We could...

We could just...

We could just leave.

Yeah?

We could just leave.

You and I, we could just run away.

I mean, not together.

Unless, unless that's what you want.

I always, I always thought that you were, you were special.

I...

I always had a crush on you.

No, no.

No.

Okay, you could, you could just go by yourself.

You could just fucking leave yourself.

Get me the fuck outta here.

Cut me loose and we can go toe to toe

you fucking bitch.

Let me fucking go.

Oh God, I will destroy you.

God damn it.

Fuck, I'll destroy you, bitch.

Yeah.

Everyone says that you're supposed to be the best.

Ah, the sweet little girl.

The best.

It's fucking bullshit.

You're a fucking joke.

Look at you, you're fucking pathetic.

You fucking bitch.

That thing doesn't even fucking work you stupid cunt.

Nice legs though.

Really, nice legs.

Yeah.

When you tried to kill me earlier you forgot the gas.

Fuck.

Fuck.

You didn't read up on the assignment

very well then, did you?

Wow, I didn't even know people ate shark.

But it was great.

Well, you can do it.

A lot of variables.

You got species of the shark, age,

how fast you could bleed it out.

Yeah, well we never fished shark back in London.

That's for sure.

Because people are scared of sharks.

Fierce, fierce predators.

Let me ask you, you both afraid of sharks?

You see I equate the situation we have here right now

to the relationship with the shark and the dolphin.

You see the shark and the dolphin tend to inhabit

the same region.

They can be copacetic, live together, be happy.

But all it takes is for one bad shark

and that turns the tide.

And then it ruins it for everybody.

See a dolphin, you got a lot to offer the shark

in the way of the food chain.

Big food source.

Now the shark on the other hand,

he got absolutely nothing to offer that dolphin.

Everybody knows a shark,

he could rip right into that dolphin.

Can't he?

But the dolphin, he don't have that luxury.

No, the dolphin, he gotta stay with the pack

and swim around that shark and try to confuse him.

Now when he least expect it, without any warning,

that dolphin, he surprises him by swimming up underneath

and he ram that nose right into that shark belly

and kill the shark with one good blow.

That's a fact.

So...

I bring this up incidentally,

because this is where I find myself

and my wife this current moment.

And we need to know, we'd like to know,

are we the shark?

Are we the dolphin?

See the dolphin, he's got no reason to kill the shark.

Unless it's defense.

And that is the position I do believe that I find my wife

and myself currently in right now.

Now dolphins have been known to play with sharks.

Much like a cat would play with mice before they kill it.

But that's just a weird game.

We've known who you two were ever since we met you

at the bar yesterday.

Doing what you're doing.

We were both you, only we were doing it long before

you two were ever born.

Now the university knows that we know the rules

and that's one of the reasons we've been able to avoid

their cross hairs for over 20 years.

And they'd know that one of these rules

say you'd never send a teacher

because teachers, they work alone.

But I think they did that intentionally,

that was the reason, because they thought if they sent

you both you may get close enough

and that you can clean their palate of us.

Forever.

Now there also may be one other reason

they sent you both, I think.

Because they knew that one of you would do anything,

and I mean anything to get close enough to us

to put a bullet in our heads.

Did you know there's only one time since we fled

the university that we have any problems

in this long, long, strange trip we've had?

April 26th, 1994.

I'm good with dates, aren't I?

I think you know that date, don't you, darling?

They found us in Europe.

Man, you have his eyes.

And that smile when it comes out.

And if he was my daddy, I understand,

because I would want that revenge.

But I love my wife, so I cannot give you the satisfaction

that you desire.

I never even got to say goodbye to him.

He was a good man.

He truly was.

But he came to kill us.

And this is the life we chose.

I guess you've been out of the game for too long now.

You've gone soft in your old age.

You've lost your edge.

Missed things that would've got you killed years ago

if you had then.

Like my bride here emptying out all the bullets

from your only gun on board.

I pity you, really.

It amazes me that you've been able to evade

the university as long as you have.

I mean, hell, you're practically the reason

for the no romantic relationships on campus policy

and yet here you sit helpless.

The ones who got away.

The runaways who could never be found.

You were once two of the best

and now it seems as though you've forgotten

who you once were.

No, you don't forget.

You don't forget what we've done.

Growing old does not make you soft.

I assure you I haven't lost my edge.

It's just that I got tired of sharpening it.

The fact that it is so dull has put you in a position

where not only can you not protect her,

but you can't protect yourself.

We had a good life.

More than most.

And now we take the adventure we never had together.

I've always loved the way you smell.

You killed all of them?

Are you surprised, honey?

No.

Not really.

They were our friends though.

They were your friends.

I spoke to the Dean tonight.

I convinced him you weren't a flight risk

and that you'd just gotten cold feet.

Oh, dear.

It's gonna be kind of hard to prove

that now that you've killed half our wedding party.

I don't need to prove anything to anybody anymore.

Like I said, I want out.

Well there's no way out.

I think that old couple has proven that enough.

They'll find you no matter how long it takes.

That old couple still had plenty of time together

away from them.

They had a good life.

What?

Out on a boat practically by themselves

for 20 something years doing absolutely jack shit?

That's not a life, that's merely existence.

We should have never killed that couple.

We did them a favor and put them out of their misery.

The old man killed your father for Christ sake.

Because my father was one of them.

One of us.

He did what he had to do for him and his wife

to be together.

Now the university gave us their blessing.

They didn't know so I didn't think they would but they did.

We could have a good life together.

The only reason they gave us their blessing

is because of what we did to that couple.

As long as we were still playing by the rest of their rules

we were worth more alive to them than dead.

Sure we came clean and told them about us,

so they trusted us,

but really it was just another way

for them to still try and control us.

That's why they allowed us to go through with it.

But they allowed it.

The university.

To some they cut checks,

to you they're like a goddamn religion.

Don't you get it?

We shouldn't have had to ask permission.

Yeah, well, we all knew the rules when we enrolled.

All of us did.

Well, like I said, people change.

Well what about us?

Hmm?

Did that change too?

You look like you could use a drink.

Come on.

Don't treat me like a stranger.

After all you are the one who left me standing

at the altar tonight.

Remember?

Sure, I could always use a drink.

May I have this dance?

Last dance.

♪ Ooh, ah, do you remember ♪

♪ Ooh, ah, you said forever ♪

♪ Doo, ah, you said you would never let me go ♪

♪ You said you'd never leave ♪

♪ But that was a lie ♪

♪ You haunt all my dreams ♪

♪ You left me alone to cry ♪

♪ Ooh, ah, do you remember ♪

♪ Ooh, ah, you said forever ♪

♪ Doo, ah, you said you would never let me go ♪

Why'd you do it?

Why did you leave them all there?

All alone with no explanation.

If I could run from you easily, I would've done it sooner.

But you're my partner.

And a partner's not supposed to run from their partner.

I guess I'm not a good person.

Most of the people that you've killed

weren't very good for themselves or anyone else.

See even God doesn't judge, so why should we?

I was sitting in church tonight,

alone in my beautiful white dress

and I saw this mother with her baby and a little baby boy

and I knew right then and there that if I married you,

I could never have that.

I do love you.

But deep down, I know I couldn't go through with it.

I went to the Board, I was prepared to go down

in a hail of bullets if that's what it took.

Like Bonnie and Clyde.

Maybe that's what should have happened then.

Even when so many things were right?

You're the one who wanted a big wedding.

If I had come to you first, would you have left?

They gave us everything we wanted.

There was no reason to run.

So you're prepared to die with me,

but you would've never left them for me?

Huh?

Even if I did, they would've killed us both.

I wouldn't want that for you.

I wouldn't want that for us.

There is no us.

Not anymore.

Well if you're so through with everything,

why'd you even come here in first place?

Why didn't you just keep running

if that's what you really wanted?

Because hell hath no fury like a man scorned.

You're a jilted lover now, babe.

And once I'm running,

the teacher that's gonna come after me,

the strongest and the hardest is you

and I want to drab, routine kind of a life.

And I'm willing to die to try and make that happen.

Aint love grand?

I came to say goodbye.

All right.

I do love you.

I always will.

But one of us has to die tonight.

Mm.

Well I'm not gonna wait around to play defense.

This is offense.

To us.

♪ So long, so long ♪

♪ Farewell, farewell ♪

♪ I'll be heading out on my own ♪

♪ 'Cause I've had enough of you now ♪

I guess we just skipped to til death do us part, honey.

♪ 'Cause I've had enough of you now ♪

♪ So long, so long ♪

♪ Farewell, farewell ♪

♪ I'll be heading out on my own ♪

♪ This is the end of what we had ♪

♪ But don't worry, baby ♪

♪ I don't feel bad ♪

♪ Honey, say goodbye to this honey ♪

♪ 'Cause I've had enough of you now ♪

I guess I won't be needing this anymore.

You know, I...

I don't know.

I think maybe you should hold onto it.

What do you mean?

I'm tired of hiding.

Well what about your...

What about the job?

What about them?

We won't run like that other couple.

I dunno, maybe...

Maybe we'll go to the university, we'll come clean,

let the chips fall where they fall.

It's worth the risk.

You are worth the risk.

Will you marry me?

Yes.

I love you.

One day at a time, right?

We've survived this long.

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Mama told me, son you best be ready ♪

♪ When you give your heart away ♪

♪ Make sure that those loving arms are steady ♪

♪ If you want that girl to stay ♪

♪ Give her all your lovin' ♪

♪ Your kissin' and your huggin' ♪

♪ All of your devotion too ♪

♪ When pushin' comes to shovin' ♪

♪ It aint just turtle dovein' ♪

♪ So give her all your lovin', babe ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Lovin', lovin', lovin' ♪

♪ Lovin' aint just walking in the park ♪

♪ Dancin' after dark ♪

♪ Real slow ♪

♪ You can't hurry love ♪

♪ Son you better listen to your Mama ♪

♪ There's one thing that you ought to know ♪

♪ Mama said you better ♪

♪ Give her all your lovin' ♪

♪ Your kissin' and your huggin' ♪

♪ All of your devotion too ♪

♪ When pushin' comes to shovin' ♪

♪ It aint just turtle dovein' ♪

♪ So give her all your lovin', babe ♪

♪ Give her all your lovin' ♪

♪ Your kissin' and your huggin' ♪

♪ All of your devotion too ♪

♪ When pushin' comes to shovin' ♪

♪ It aint just turtle dovein' ♪

♪ So give her all your lovin', babe ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Lovin', lovin', lovin' ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪