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According to the CDC,

overdose deaths have tripled...

The numbers continue to surge...

Barry? One second.

- Sheep and wool? - Yeah.

It's on my desk?

- Sheep and wool? - Yeah. I need it today.

Oh, yeah. I have that. Hum...

Sorry. I got an insane number of hits

on those democratic donkey videos I posted last week,

so I've been trying to crank those out, but I have it.

Great, great...

Listen, Thomas.

What you're proposing, however clickable,

does it really feel like news?

And that remains our first obligation.

We understand we're getting clobbered on physical,

but we need to use the election as a barometer.

If paper doesn't start moving in six months,

then we'll know the jig is up,

but we have to follow the rules now.

It's a new age.

That's not what I'm fighting, here.

I've been around long enough to recognize a sea change...

...but we have to be able to do our job.

Okay, so let's please move on, so we can get

to the very important work I know you all have.

Gill, you said it was a heavy night?

Sorry to interrupt.

Toby?

I need to talk to Marissa, something...

What's going on?

Something... something's wrong.

Okay, back to business.

Gill, what do you got?

Homicide in Arbor Hill,

young kid gunned down...

You can't blame yourself for this one.

Mm.

Such a sudden loss.

We pray that that this family might find peace

in the promise of God's almighty kingdom.

And while there are no words which can undo

the anger and despair of such a tragedy,

we pray that those who have gathered

show this grieving family that they are not alone

in their sorrow,

that the son we have lost is surrounded by love.

Now, in such tragic circumstances,

we're sometimes tempted by rage to dismiss God's plan...

...to lose our own place...

- It's not worth it. - ...in his mercy.

But we must remember...

You knew she'd be here.

...that death is but another step closer to God.

- I'll never forget him. - Thanks so much.

Thank you.

Mrs. Bennings, I'm pregnant.

Ma, what the fuck are you doing?

I'm sorry I hit you.

I wouldn't if I had known.

Yeah, I know.

Just because of your condition, doesn't mean I...

Look, you don't need to like me.

Just this weird, shrivelled little person.

You sure it's his?

Yeah, unless someone snuck into my pussy

and forgot it there.

You know, I didn't make him a junkie.

No, I don't know that.

I know you made him a thief.

He had never stolen anything from me in his life before you.

Is this really about the Vitamix?

No. It's about the lying,

stealing, money, jewelry, and then the Vitamix.

He gave that to me for my fortieth birthday.

- You never used it. - And you did?

How was he living?

We got our own place to get clean.

He'd been having these freakouts

and getting really sick, and he was scared.

Was he still dealing?

Well, that's the thing, he had stopped.

When all that tainted shit came through here,

he decided it was time to get away.

He was looking to buy this place near Chatham.

He was excited to start a family.

Buy a place?

How was he going to afford to buy a place?

He made it sound like Ducky and him had it all figured out.

He was still hanging out with Ducky?

Oh, yeah.

He was like a brother to both of us.

Look, I didn't come here to argue or beg or whatever.

I'm here because I loved Michael,

and I'm sad he's gone, and I know that you are too.

Even if you're only capable of being mad right now,

I know that really, you're just sad.

Yeah, I miss him, too.

You got it, Mike!

It's okay, kiddo! That was a good pitch!

Who do you think did it?

Well, we've got a lead,

but I don't think that's

what you should be thinking about right now.

Ugh.

Okay.

You remember Mike's friend, Ducky?

Everett Dukowski.

Yeah, of course.

Well, at this point we're pretty certain

Everett's responsible for bringing fentanyl

to the South End.

That shit is brutal.

Junkies who get tied up in it

don't last long, one way or another.

So, Michael was tied up in it?

We think him and Ducky might have been in business together,

selling this Mother's Milk shit,

heroin, coke and fentanyl.

Maybe there was a fight between them or a deal gone wrong.

What makes you think that?

Mike was killed up the block

from one of Ducky's stash houses.

And he matches a description from a neighbour.

When was the last time you saw him? Mike?

I don't know, three, four months ago, maybe.

Well, you got me beat.

Jesus, you still haven't thrown that thing out yet?

It helps.

I figured it would make it harder.

Not if you don't carry a light.

Alright, give me a fucking drag.

Mmm.

Wow.

Pretending kind of does help.

I'll get Ducky, I promise.

Come in!

Marissa, what are you doing here?

Just wanted to make sure you weren't too buried without me.

Yeah, everything's going okay.

That's great.

Um...

We weren't expecting you back for a month at least.

How are you holding up?

I want to come back to work.

You took three months off for Frank.

Yeah, that was different.

I need to come back.

And tell me what that looks like to you.

Same thing as it did before.

You hate editing.

Walk out there right now and look at the shit

that Barry's been writing since you've been gone.

Fucking Barry?

The one who turned the A and C section into a donkey show?

Okay, let's take a second here.

You hate Barry and all those guys out there.

Why?

Because they aren't writers.

They're all about numbers and formatting

and words per click, or whatever.

Hell, you barely know what the Internet does.

Marissa, you are my best writer,

but for some reason, you refuse to write.

Take your time, but write.

Alright, clean.

Bullshit, it's touching my ball.

Watch and learn, sucker.

- Lucky.

I learned from the best.

Another.

Alright, your shot.

She didn't even want to join.

She didn't want to intrude.

She said we should have some alone time together

to just grieve.

Is that what we're doing?

You going to be okay, Mom?

One ball at a time.

Watch this, to the left!

Let's make this quick!

A leather case.

It's got to be here somewhere.

There's a back room.

Oh, fuck.

There!

What are you doing?

I've always wanted to do that.

Sounds weird, doesn't it?

What's that?

Paige said that Michael, Ducky and her

were moving into a farm, or a house,

something in Chatham?

Mike, a farmer?

I know. It doesn't make sense.

Listen, you've got to be careful with that girl.

What the fuck are you doing here?

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Sorry, I meant to stay awake.

What are you doing here?

Someone broke into my house,

and I just didn't have anywhere else to go.

Were you hurt?

Did you see who it was?

No, but I found this.

Hum... I think it's what they were looking for.

I found it right before they came in.

What is that?

That's about $50,000 worth of dirty heroin.

I like the other way better.

Me too.

This baby business is tough

but Whatever works, right? - Right.

How was she tonight?

Drunk.

Did she cry?

She said she'd already cried for him.

The drinking isn't going to help.

Remember how bad it got after Frank?

- Yeah. I definitely remember.

Hey, Mom. What's going on?

Yeah, I recognize the logo.

This is the shit I was telling you about.

You're not going to charge her, right?

No.

You did the right thing.

Is this everything? - Everything?

Any chance you saw the person that broke in?

No, I got out pretty quick.

So, what does this mean?

- I'm going to take this... - This means shit just got real.

Somebody called him that night.

He left all freaked out,

I had no idea what was going on, and then, bam!

You know who called him, Paige?

It was Ducky.

Alright?

We checked his phone.

Thank you, Paige.

I'm going to take this to the station.

Okay?

I'll get you a blanket for the couch.

Thank you.

Did my puking wake you up?

No.

You feeling any better?

Not at all.

Did you ever have any weird cravings

when you were pregnant?

Necco wafers.

What the hell's a necco wafer?

It's like this little disk-shaped candy, you know?

It tastes like... tastes like chalk.

I must have eaten my body weight in them.

I want Play-doh.

Play-doh?

That can't be good for the baby.

Kids eat it all the time and they're fine.

Well, you should ask your doctor about that.

Yeah.

You have a doctor, right?

Yeah, well, we went to one straight when we found out,

but the budget was pretty tight, so...

We were saving up to go again.

Come on, you need to see a doctor.

- What, right now? - No, like a month ago,

but yeah, now's better than later.

Uh, I have to stop by work, but it won't take long.

I'll give you a ride home when I'm done.

Depends on what you mean by "home".

- I'll see you soon. - See you.

Pick up the phone, come on!

I just wanted to say that I figured some things out

and I have a plan, you know.

They said it made sense. I...

I know you were right to kick me out of the house...

...but, you know, a little bit of fucking cash right now

would really go a long way to getting...

I know you're in the house!

I can see you moving in the house!

Let me in, it's my shit!

You changed the fucking locks, Mom!

What the... Mom!

Hey, Mom, I can't expect you to pick up this time.

I just want to say... Happy birthday...

So does Paige.

Um, I want you to know that we're doing a lot better.

Um, there's something I want to tell you in person.

I love you so much.

Bye.

Are you fucking serious?

Paige?

It's Gina.

Hey!

What are you doing here?

Um, same as me, I guess.

Marissa's supposed to be picking me up.

Oh.

Do you mind if I join you?

Sure.

Ugh...

I like your necklace.

I stole it from Target.

- It suits you, I guess.

Thanks.

Uh, I just mean...

No, it's okay. I know what you meant.

Sorry.

Can I ask you a question?

What's it like being married to a cop?

Um, it's not so different from anything else.

There's just a part of you that accepts

he might not come home one day.

Sounds a lot like dating a junkie.

She's not fucking coming.

I can give you a ride.

- You sure? - Yeah, of course.

Didn't go so well at work, huh?

Sorry, I forgot.

You had important things to do.

- Stop it.

No, you fucking stop it!

Excuse me?

You just keep fucking hiding from everything,

and it's really fucking hard to look at.

It's shitty for all of us.

Just stop pretending you're alone.

I want to go back to Al-Anon.

Well, that's a good start.

I'll come with you, make sure it's not a drunk promise.

Mm.

For what it's worth, Michael used to say

you were a really good writer.

Oh, yeah?

What else did he say?

He said that before Frank died,

he remembered you were happy.

When did he say that?

All the time.

I wish I got to meet him.

No, well then you'd know...

you'd know what an asshole he was.

Even when he got sick?

Especially when he got sick.

Yeah, but...

Did you ever stop missing him?

Never.

Well, that's a drag.

Oh, god.

- Who's that? - That's Toby.

- Oh, man. - Look at his hair.

Sweet.

We should get yours one of these.

It makes nursing easier. - Yeah?

I'm going to bed.

Okay.

Goodnight.

Goodnight.

I think I still have one of these at the house,

believe it or not.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, hey, we could use these,

especially if we go with the pump.

Yeah...

Nothing?

Okay, well, I'm glad it's my baby we're shopping for.

Oh, fuck yes!

Excuse me?

- We got a lead. - A what?

We got a lead.

Let them do their investigation, but in the meantime,

it can't hurt to get the story ourselves, you know?

I mean, maybe it'll be the same thing they told the cops,

but I want to hear it myself.

Listen, it's something we can actually do

instead of sitting around moping.

It's a lead!

You know, this isn't ethical or legal.

Sure it is.

- Hey. - Jeremy?

Come on in.

I heard the shots,

but Jack was the one who saw it.

He's a little out of it from his meds.

Grandpa sits a lot because of his hip.

He was sitting right there when it happened.

Hi, Jack, nice to meet you.

I'm Marissa.

I work for the Times Union.

So, you saw what happened?

Grandpa, you remember what happened the other night?

Marissa's son was shot.

He was killed, remember?

He was the one you saw die in front of the house.

That's too bad.

I'm sorry.

I thought you said he saw what happened that night.

Come on, nothing? - Paige, hey.

Jack, just think. Please, just think.

- Let's not be rude. - I'm not being rude.

Grandpa, you said there was someone outside yelling,

and then... - With the truck?

Yeah, with the truck.

The boy was standing in the street yelling his head off.

Then, I heard the truck.

I think the kid he was calling for lives there,

because I've seen him there before.

Ducky!

Hope that was helpful.

- Hey, Laurie. - Hey.

How you been?

Just getting by.

Thank you for being here, everyone.

Come, come into the circle.

Have a seat.

It's a sunny day and we're all in a basement,

but we're going to get to know each other and talk.

I see some new faces, welcome.

And some who we haven't seen for a while.

It's good to have you back.

Our...

We had you in our prayers.

Uh, okay, so, who wants to start us off today?

Any thoughts? Any...

Oh, Laurie!

I lost my daughter, Jessica, about three months ago now.

Haven't...

... haven't really felt capable

of sharing too much about it until now.

I'm sure a lot of you know the feeling.

Mm.

Jessica was a hard kid to raise.

I think, sometimes, we paint our kids as saints.

Jessica was not a saint...

...the opposite.

She was kind of a pain in the ass.

So, anyway, the morning I found her,

I was about to go to work,

so I went to her room to wake her up.

You don't realize it at the time...

...but that walk to the door is the last time

you are who you think you are.

But you don't know.

I didn't know.

So, I opened the door, and there she is,

laying on the bed, fully clothed,

candles lit around her.

At first, I was furious.

You know, she had fallen asleep with candles burning.

And I start screaming at her, "Are you crazy?

You're going to burn the house down."

And then, I see it, a tiny little bag on the carpet.

And I... I just look at it.

I remember the logo on the bag.

It's seared into my head, you know?

M.M.

When you see something like that,

you know, everything cracks.

The stories you made crack.

Who you thought your kid was cracks.

Who you thought you were cracks.

You're that family, now.

You never realized you were that family.

Hey, I'm going to walk back.

You should offer Laurie a ride.

Uh, I'm pretty sure she wants to be left alone.

No, that's what you want.

I'm going to check some of Ducky's spots.

Hey, Laurie. Hey!

Marissa!

Do you want a ride?

I can't believe I'm actually going to ask this, but...

...could I interview you?

Interview me?

You... put some things into words

I haven't been able to yet.

You know all that stuff is confidential, right?

Yeah, of course. That's the point.

I want you to talk to me on the record, you know, mom to mom.

For what?

Well, I don't know yet.

But baybe if I write it, I'll know.

Thanks again.

Hey, what's going on here?

This is a safe injection site and needle exchange for users.

What?

Maybe if my baby had gone to one of these

instead of hiding in her room, she wouldn't have died.

This at least takes that danger away.

You should come check it out.

If helping and healing is actually what you want,

you really need to see it for what it is.

- Alright, ready? - Yeah.

Hey, John. Hey, Diane.

Marissa, this is Diane.

She coordinates the distribution of fentanyl test strips.

She tells me where to go, how to help,

how to stay out of...

Hey, you okay?

Marissa?

Uh, excuse me.

You're looking for Toby Bennings.

Leave a message.

Ducky! Ducky, I just want to talk to you!

Ducky!

- Paige! - Hey.

- Is everything alright? - Yeah.

Yeah. Everything's cool, sorry.

I just came by to talk to Gina, actually.

Uh, she went out with some friends after work,

so she's not going to be back until later.

Oh, okay, of course.

Sorry for being creepy.

I just thought it would be nice to talk to someone

who doesn't actually feel like a parent

and, like, actually has their shit together.

Yeah, I get you.

I'll tell her you stopped by. - Okay.

- Have a good night. - See you.

Uh, Paige, if you want, you can come in.

- Yeah? - In a way...

...we're kind of family now, so... come on.

Fuck, you alright?

I thought I killed you.

What the fuck are you doing following me?

You killed my son.

No, I fucking didn't.

You fucking believe that shit?

So, what happened, then?

What happened, Ducky?

Look, all I know is somebody called me

and told me Mike was in trouble

and that he needed to get out of his house.

So, I called him and I told him to meet me

at the squat house right away.

I thought I was protecting him.

What the fuck would you do?

I didn't know they were going to fucking kill him.

That's convenient.

No. It sucks, Mrs. Bennings.

I was his fucking best friend.

Then, who killed him?

I never met the guy, but he drives around

in this white truck

and has this fucking stupid tattoo on his hand.

That's all I know.

Nobody fucking believes me.

Ducky!

Hey, you! What are you doing in there?

Holy shit, Mom. Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.

I just needed to talk to you.

Fuck, Marissa, what happened?

I... found your friend Ducky.

- What? - Yeah.

Yeah, he was at the food bank.

I followed him to the train yard down on Church Street.

You followed him?

He snuck up

and hit me with something.

He could have killed you, Mom.

I know, but he talked to me.

Talked to you?

You got any whisky?

I'm going to go out and look for him.

He couldn't have gotten far.

You sure it was him?

I'm sure.

Well, did he say anything?

He said it was a guy with a tattoo on his hand,

that he didn't do it.

No shit he didn't do it.

He's not a fucking murderer.

You expect me to believe that the man

who just knocked me unconscious isn't a violent person?

What would you do if someone followed you like that?

You really don't understand.

He told Mike to meet him there.

He set him up, Paige.

Ducky!

Ducky!

Hello!

Ducky!

Hey, sorry, I was downstairs.

- Can I come inside? - Uh, yeah, okay.

What's happening? You alright?

Ducky's dead.

Uh, how do you know?

Because I went to that old house and I found him.

He killed himself.

Fuck, okay...

Uh...

Oh, god.

Alright, look, just sit down.

I'll get you some water. You okay?

Yeah.

Just have a drink.

Take a few deep breaths.

Fuck.

Was anyone else there?

No, it was just me.

And, um...

Yeah, I saw his body, and then I left.

Got it, okay.

Uh, why didn't you call 911?

Because I knew I wasn't supposed to be there.

That's why I'm here. I knew that you could help.

Sure. I'm sorry.

I'm really sorry for your loss.

I'll get someone to go around there right away.

You just take it easy and make yourself at home.

I'm just going to be two minutes, alright? - Okay.

Oh...

Fuck.

Hi, I need someone to go to the address

and just check it out right away.

Yeah, that's right.

I need someone to go to 1-2-5-8 and check if possible.

This one's personal.

Paige?

Paige, give me the phone. - Get back.

- Just give me the phone. - No.

- Give me the phone. - Back the fuck off.

- Paige... - No.

Listen to me.

You don't understand what's going on here.

- Toby, no. - Please.

- Back up. - I can explain.

- Back the fuck up. - Listen to me.

Just give me the phone. - Back the fuck away.

I'm telling you. - Back the fuck up!

I can explain! I can explain this. Paige!

Just calm down!

Just stop, okay!

Calm down, give me the phone.

Fuck you! Get the fuck away from me!

- Paige! - Just back the fuck up!

Get out of my way! Don't touch me!

- Just give me... - Away!

- Give me the fucking phone! - Get the fuck off me!

Give me the phone! Paige!

Stop!

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Paige! Paige!

Hey, hey.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Hey, I'm home.

Gina!

Call an ambulance, quick!

Gina, it's Paige, call an ambulance!

She fell in the bathroom.

I think she OD'd! She's bleeding!

Just get an ambulance right now!

Okay, okay!

Hi, um...

Fuck, fuck!

Toby, I think Paige is hiding something.

Yeah, you're right.

She's using again and she overdosed.

What?

She's on her way to the hospital right now.

Meet us at St. Peter's.

The forceps, please.

A little more space.

Alright.

Alright.

We have a flatline.

Get the crash cart.

Hi, cat.

There's a baby.

Make acquaintance.

Jesus Christ. You scared me.

Sorry, I let myself in.

You okay?

It's a nice room.

Perfect for the little angel.

I've got to get her her bottle.

Here, come on.

Here.

There you go.

Yeah.

What's going on?

I found something.

Marissa, I found it under the stairs, in the basement.

I thought it was some kind of miracle...

...like a gift, left as a reminder.

But then I saw the blood.

- How... - I don't know...

I've been trying to think of every possible reason.

I...

Have you asked him about it?

No.

I can't find the words.

So, what are you going to do?

I don't know what the right thing to do is.

I don't know if I could do it, anyways.

I know. I feel guilty too.

I've got to leave, but I don't think

that's what you should be thinking about right now, Mom.

He was responsible for bringing fentanyl into the South End.

Come on. Pick up the phone... Come on.

Ducky's not getting away with this shit.

We think he and Michael might have been in business together.

Maybe there was a dispute or something.

I can't expect you to pick up this time.

There is something I want to tell you in person.

Okay, Mom...

Listen, you've got to be careful with that girl.

...I love you so much.

Bye.

You know who called him, Paige.

It was Ducky.

We checked his phone.

Hi.

She's sleeping.

You feeling okay, Mom?

No. Not really.

Wow.

Haven't seen this thing in years.

This was dad's nicest suitcase.

They covered it in fucking stickers.

The stuff's in there.

You think that's what killed her?

Yeah, it seems like it.

They both had fentanyl in them.

Seriously, Mom.

You should go see a doctor.

Yeah... I will.

Okay, I tried.

Okay.

Thank you. I told you.

The Empire Line running express

to Penn Station, New York City, which stops in Hudson,

Rhinecliff, Poughkeepsie, Croton and Yonkers

with a final stop in New York City, Penn Station.

Please have your tickets ready

for the conductor when he comes through.

Remember when Mike threw that perfect game...

...until the final inning...

...and then he gave it up to them?

That was just his luck.

I didn't mean for any of this to happen.

It was supposed to be simple.

When Mike found out what was in it,

he wouldn't sell it or give it back.

What did he think they were going to do?

I guess that's my luck.

This doesn't have anything to do with luck.

I'm scared, Mom.

Me too.

My youngest son was born to be an athlete.

His older brother, Toby, started hitting ground balls

when he was two or three.

The kid was good. So was Toby.

But Michael had something different...

he had an arm.

Oh, just water for me.

He threw 70 miles per hour by 14.

The scouts started telling us he had a real shot.

We had no idea what kind of damage he was doing

to the shoulder of his throwing arm.

Maybe we should have made him stop, but by 15,

he was being medicated for pain management.

To say I didn't know any better wouldn't be totally true...

Thanks.

...but I knew a kid shouldn't be in that much pain.

Then, I started seeing his behaviour changing.

Toby was a different story.

He was the one we didn't have to worry about...

...the civil servant, the ambitious one.

That might be the only thing I still recognize in him,

that toxic ambition.

As different as Mike and Toby were,

their lives stayed intertwined

more than they could ever let me know.

I assume you know the implications of this.

I know more than anyone.

Take a couple of days...

...a week, whatever.

Take that time and if then,

you still want to publish it, I'll have your back.

It's good.

Thanks for letting us have her for the day.

Can I take her?

Hello, baby!

Hello, baby!

Are we going to have some fun today?

Oh, yeah.

Thanks, Mom. See you later.

Oh!

Let's do it!

Let's go have fun.

difuze