Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:01:52,447 --> 00:01:55,742
If I had to pick a beginning
to this bizarre story,
2
00:01:55,825 --> 00:01:57,535
I guess it would have to be the dream.
3
00:01:57,619 --> 00:01:59,245
Yeah, definitely the dream.
4
00:01:59,329 --> 00:02:01,039
That's when it all started.
5
00:02:01,122 --> 00:02:04,918
That's me, Jeremy Capello,
sitting inside the tuba.
6
00:02:05,001 --> 00:02:08,087
If I appear disoriented, it's because
I don't know how to play a tuba
7
00:02:08,171 --> 00:02:10,381
or any other musical instrument.
8
00:02:10,465 --> 00:02:13,510
I'm not in the band. That's Candy Andrews.
9
00:02:13,593 --> 00:02:17,096
She's a cheerleader.
I think she likes me.
10
00:02:17,388 --> 00:02:19,933
But for some unknown reason,
I can't keep my eyes
11
00:02:20,016 --> 00:02:22,811
off Darla Blake, musical prodigy.
12
00:02:22,894 --> 00:02:24,646
Juilliard candidate perhaps,
13
00:02:24,729 --> 00:02:27,524
but not what you would call
centerfold material.
14
00:02:27,607 --> 00:02:32,153
In fact, Darla Blake
is not someone you would call, period.
15
00:02:33,530 --> 00:02:35,698
Then comes the note.
16
00:02:35,782 --> 00:02:39,118
I can't believe it, but I'm fascinated.
17
00:02:43,998 --> 00:02:45,375
"Follow me."
18
00:02:46,835 --> 00:02:50,171
It seemed like a good idea at the time.
19
00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:53,842
So I went for it.
20
00:02:56,761 --> 00:02:59,764
Suddenly, I'm in the girls' locker room,
21
00:02:59,848 --> 00:03:02,892
no man's land, the forbidden zone.
22
00:03:03,017 --> 00:03:04,686
I'd heard the horror stories.
23
00:03:04,769 --> 00:03:06,521
Men caught in here were castrated
24
00:03:06,604 --> 00:03:09,440
and made to pass out towels for eternity.
25
00:03:09,524 --> 00:03:12,485
A living hell I could do without.
26
00:03:13,987 --> 00:03:16,072
And then I see her.
27
00:03:16,155 --> 00:03:18,032
She's gorgeous.
28
00:03:18,116 --> 00:03:20,618
Is this the same Darla Blake?
29
00:03:20,702 --> 00:03:24,873
Without being too obvious,
I check out her birthday suit.
30
00:03:24,956 --> 00:03:27,083
She asks me to take a shower with her.
31
00:03:27,166 --> 00:03:30,420
I tell her I'm clean, but she insists.
32
00:03:30,503 --> 00:03:32,380
"Make love to me," she says.
33
00:03:32,463 --> 00:03:34,757
I tell her, "We're moving too fast."
34
00:03:34,841 --> 00:03:36,843
I offer to take her to lunch instead.
35
00:03:36,926 --> 00:03:38,469
I… I…
36
00:03:39,387 --> 00:03:41,890
Suddenly, there's a new babe in my arms.
37
00:03:41,973 --> 00:03:44,726
I'm shocked. I excuse myself and ask,
"Where's Darla?"
38
00:03:44,809 --> 00:03:46,477
She tells me to kiss her.
39
00:03:46,561 --> 00:03:49,397
I say, "Whose dream is this anyway?
I'm looking for Darla."
40
00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:50,773
She tells me to kiss her again.
41
00:03:50,857 --> 00:03:53,610
I refuse. Then things get ugly.
42
00:04:07,332 --> 00:04:09,250
Throw him down!
43
00:04:27,185 --> 00:04:29,145
All units, 7-A-8-5.
44
00:04:29,228 --> 00:04:32,106
Code Six on Kirby and Westheimer.
45
00:04:32,565 --> 00:04:34,943
7-X-23. Roger on your Code Six.
46
00:04:35,026 --> 00:04:37,028
Louis, call your son.
47
00:04:37,111 --> 00:04:39,656
- His eggs are ready.
- Jeremy.
48
00:04:43,201 --> 00:04:45,328
- Morning.
- Morning.
49
00:04:46,037 --> 00:04:49,374
Morning. Morning, Dad.
50
00:04:50,792 --> 00:04:53,211
Mom, I've got a problem.
51
00:04:53,336 --> 00:04:55,004
What's your problem, Jeremy?
52
00:04:55,088 --> 00:04:58,049
Honest to God,
I cannot remember what Dad looks like.
53
00:04:59,258 --> 00:05:02,178
Well, he's still a very handsome man.
54
00:05:03,262 --> 00:05:05,390
Dad, you're bald.
55
00:05:10,561 --> 00:05:12,563
Morning, Mrs. Capello, Mr. Capello.
56
00:05:12,647 --> 00:05:14,607
- Morning, Ralph.
- Sorry I can't stay for breakfast, but—
57
00:05:14,691 --> 00:05:16,359
- We're running late, as usual.
- As usual.
58
00:05:16,442 --> 00:05:17,610
Ralph's right. We have to go.
59
00:05:17,694 --> 00:05:20,488
Oh, Ralph, there's a speed trap
over at the Montrose off-ramp.
60
00:05:20,571 --> 00:05:21,656
Thanks, Mrs. Capello.
61
00:05:23,950 --> 00:05:25,034
Drive carefully, boys.
62
00:05:25,118 --> 00:05:26,911
We always do.
63
00:05:31,541 --> 00:05:33,918
The same dream, fourth night in a row.
64
00:05:34,002 --> 00:05:35,503
Darla Blake.
65
00:05:35,586 --> 00:05:37,714
How can you totally ignore Candy Andrews,
66
00:05:37,797 --> 00:05:40,717
who, by the way,
is hot after your tailpipe,
67
00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:43,970
then have perverted dreams
about frigid and rigid Blake?
68
00:05:44,053 --> 00:05:46,055
- It's not perverted.
- You're right.
69
00:05:46,139 --> 00:05:47,724
It's not perverted, it's bizarre.
70
00:05:47,807 --> 00:05:50,059
Okay, but what does it mean?
71
00:05:50,143 --> 00:05:53,271
If you're crazy enough to waste
a perfectly good wet dream on Darla Blake,
72
00:05:53,354 --> 00:05:54,689
you need professional help.
73
00:05:54,772 --> 00:05:55,857
You don't understand.
74
00:05:55,940 --> 00:05:59,527
I see a side to this girl
that nobody knows exists.
75
00:06:00,945 --> 00:06:03,197
I have a theory about this dream of yours.
76
00:06:03,281 --> 00:06:05,199
Okay, when was the last time you got laid?
77
00:06:05,283 --> 00:06:06,868
What does that have to do with anything?
78
00:06:06,951 --> 00:06:08,202
Can't you remember?
79
00:06:08,286 --> 00:06:11,539
Not that it's any of your damn business,
but Peterson's party.
80
00:06:11,622 --> 00:06:14,292
- Jenny Cicero in the closet, remember?
- Oh, no! Yeah, I remember.
81
00:06:14,375 --> 00:06:17,587
You bought her a dozen roses
and invited her home to meet your parents.
82
00:06:17,670 --> 00:06:19,422
- What is that?
- She's a nice girl.
83
00:06:19,505 --> 00:06:22,467
No, you're confusing true love
with common household guilt.
84
00:06:22,550 --> 00:06:25,053
What you need is
an incredible sexual encounter
85
00:06:25,136 --> 00:06:28,222
with no strings attached,
no emotional involvements,
86
00:06:28,306 --> 00:06:31,100
just pure, unadulterated lust.
87
00:06:31,184 --> 00:06:33,227
- That's not me.
- It could be.
88
00:06:33,311 --> 00:06:35,563
I mean, a carefree,
fun-loving romp in the sack
89
00:06:35,646 --> 00:06:37,065
with but a single purpose…
90
00:06:37,148 --> 00:06:41,402
to use and degrade another human being
to satisfy your own selfish pleasures.
91
00:06:41,486 --> 00:06:43,071
Sorry. Not interested.
92
00:06:43,154 --> 00:06:45,406
Sex without guilt is the greatest.
93
00:06:45,490 --> 00:06:46,949
Hi, Pam.
94
00:06:47,658 --> 00:06:49,535
But pick a girl
who doesn't go to this school.
95
00:07:29,450 --> 00:07:31,828
QUIT STARING CREEP!
96
00:07:44,715 --> 00:07:46,300
- Hi, Flo.
- Hi, Jeremy.
97
00:07:46,384 --> 00:07:47,969
- He's in the back.
- Thanks.
98
00:07:52,557 --> 00:07:54,600
Hiya, George. How many today?
99
00:07:54,684 --> 00:07:57,478
- Oh, the usual. A dozen or so.
- Mm-hm.
100
00:07:57,562 --> 00:08:00,398
George, what would all
these old ladies do without me?
101
00:08:00,481 --> 00:08:02,233
Probably die of constipation.
102
00:08:03,568 --> 00:08:04,902
Yeah.
103
00:08:06,154 --> 00:08:08,698
You know, just once,
I wish I could make a delivery
104
00:08:08,781 --> 00:08:10,575
to someone who still had all their teeth.
105
00:08:10,658 --> 00:08:12,368
Got a new one for you today.
106
00:08:12,451 --> 00:08:14,036
Oh, yeah?
107
00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:15,788
Highline Drive?
108
00:08:15,872 --> 00:08:17,415
You sure about this address, George?
109
00:08:17,498 --> 00:08:19,125
That's the address she gave.
110
00:08:19,208 --> 00:08:21,002
This is the old Gardner mansion.
111
00:08:21,085 --> 00:08:23,796
It's been deserted for years.
It's a dump.
112
00:08:23,880 --> 00:08:25,590
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
113
00:08:25,673 --> 00:08:27,967
No PoliGrip. No Geritol.
114
00:08:28,050 --> 00:08:29,385
No Deep Heating Rub?
115
00:08:29,468 --> 00:08:32,805
George, we may be on to something here.
116
00:08:50,531 --> 00:08:52,533
This has got to be a joke.
117
00:08:57,538 --> 00:08:58,998
Come in.
118
00:09:04,629 --> 00:09:05,796
Whoa!
119
00:09:08,716 --> 00:09:10,051
Hello!
120
00:09:13,930 --> 00:09:15,556
Groceries!
121
00:09:16,599 --> 00:09:17,975
Hello!
122
00:09:26,025 --> 00:09:27,443
Hello?
123
00:09:28,319 --> 00:09:29,195
Hey!
124
00:09:29,278 --> 00:09:31,072
Kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty. Hi.
125
00:09:32,740 --> 00:09:34,951
Where is everybody, huh?
126
00:09:35,952 --> 00:09:37,662
This comes to 13.49.
127
00:09:37,745 --> 00:09:40,289
I can take a check, but I'm afraid
I'm gonna have to see some ID.
128
00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:47,004
Are you hurt?
129
00:09:49,632 --> 00:09:53,594
I'm afraid Nora's a bit nervous
around strangers.
130
00:09:54,095 --> 00:09:56,347
Is anything the matter?
131
00:09:58,224 --> 00:09:59,350
No…
132
00:09:59,433 --> 00:10:01,852
I just thought you were somebody else.
133
00:10:02,812 --> 00:10:04,021
Have we met before?
134
00:10:04,105 --> 00:10:05,690
I'm not sure.
135
00:10:05,773 --> 00:10:08,776
You're bleeding.
I feel responsible.
136
00:10:09,610 --> 00:10:10,861
Let me see.
137
00:10:10,945 --> 00:10:14,198
It's really just-just a scratch.
138
00:10:14,282 --> 00:10:16,367
When I was little and scratched my finger,
139
00:10:16,450 --> 00:10:17,827
my mother would always kiss it.
140
00:10:23,874 --> 00:10:26,127
My mother used Band-Aids.
141
00:10:26,210 --> 00:10:28,629
I've got one in the car.
142
00:10:29,005 --> 00:10:31,007
How's that? Better?
143
00:10:31,090 --> 00:10:32,675
Much better.
144
00:10:35,553 --> 00:10:36,887
I have to go.
145
00:10:37,805 --> 00:10:39,223
- Jeremy?
- Yes?
146
00:10:39,307 --> 00:10:41,934
- Do you find me attractive?
- Very.
147
00:10:42,018 --> 00:10:44,228
I have to go. More deliveries, you know?
148
00:10:44,478 --> 00:10:45,980
I like you, Jeremy.
149
00:10:46,063 --> 00:10:47,690
Can you come back later?
150
00:10:48,649 --> 00:10:50,443
You want me to come back?
151
00:10:50,526 --> 00:10:51,736
How about tonight?
152
00:10:51,819 --> 00:10:55,406
I really, really have to go.
153
00:10:55,489 --> 00:10:57,408
Around midnight?
154
00:10:57,491 --> 00:10:58,617
I'm a night owl.
155
00:10:59,327 --> 00:11:00,328
Night owl.
156
00:11:07,001 --> 00:11:08,169
She sucked your what?
157
00:11:08,252 --> 00:11:10,504
My finger, you jerk!
158
00:11:12,882 --> 00:11:14,425
My finger!
159
00:11:14,508 --> 00:11:16,385
He lets her get away.
160
00:11:16,469 --> 00:11:19,180
Ralph, there's something
very weird about this woman.
161
00:11:19,263 --> 00:11:21,098
She's the woman in my dreams.
162
00:11:21,182 --> 00:11:22,933
Great. Then she's perfect.
163
00:11:23,017 --> 00:11:25,102
No! Ralph, she's not
the woman of my dreams,
164
00:11:25,186 --> 00:11:27,480
the woman in my dreams!
165
00:11:27,563 --> 00:11:29,857
- She knew my name.
- So what?
166
00:11:29,940 --> 00:11:31,942
I didn't tell her my name.
167
00:11:32,026 --> 00:11:34,779
Look, this is like an omen from God, okay?
168
00:11:34,862 --> 00:11:36,947
Look at it this way.
You like this woman, right?
169
00:11:37,031 --> 00:11:39,950
There's an attraction.
A sexual attraction.
170
00:11:40,034 --> 00:11:42,620
- Yeah. I guess so.
- Perfect.
171
00:11:42,703 --> 00:11:44,288
Is this someone
you could see being married to?
172
00:11:44,372 --> 00:11:45,873
- No.
- Perfect.
173
00:11:45,956 --> 00:11:47,291
What is the problem?
174
00:11:47,375 --> 00:11:49,710
- Let's go for it, man.
- No.
175
00:11:49,794 --> 00:11:51,796
I promise, nothing will go wrong.
176
00:11:51,879 --> 00:11:54,757
- I'll drive.
- It's a school night.
177
00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:56,550
Do it, nerd!
178
00:11:59,845 --> 00:12:01,472
I don't even know her name.
179
00:12:01,555 --> 00:12:03,015
Perfect.
180
00:12:09,063 --> 00:12:10,981
Well, she's still up, stud.
181
00:12:11,065 --> 00:12:14,068
You're absolutely certain
this will make me a better person?
182
00:12:14,151 --> 00:12:15,778
If nothing else, you'll sleep better.
183
00:12:15,861 --> 00:12:17,655
No more nightmares about Darla Blake.
184
00:12:17,738 --> 00:12:18,781
What if I was wrong?
185
00:12:18,864 --> 00:12:21,742
What if I misinterpreted
the entire situation?
186
00:12:21,826 --> 00:12:24,787
Jeremy, a beautiful woman
sucked your finger and begged for more.
187
00:12:24,870 --> 00:12:26,247
This is a date with destiny.
188
00:12:26,330 --> 00:12:28,666
Now get in there and enjoy it.
189
00:12:28,749 --> 00:12:30,251
All right. All right.
190
00:12:32,086 --> 00:12:33,754
How do I look?
191
00:12:33,838 --> 00:12:35,423
Like a vacuum cleaner salesman.
192
00:12:37,091 --> 00:12:38,008
No, I'm kidding.
193
00:12:38,092 --> 00:12:39,844
Relax. You look great.
194
00:12:39,927 --> 00:12:41,011
All right.
195
00:12:41,637 --> 00:12:42,596
Here goes nothing.
196
00:12:43,556 --> 00:12:45,516
Professor, shouldn't we warn him?
197
00:12:45,599 --> 00:12:48,102
No. Maybe he's one of them.
198
00:12:48,185 --> 00:12:50,438
But what if he isn't?
199
00:12:55,025 --> 00:12:57,194
Professor, what if he isn't one of them?
200
00:12:58,529 --> 00:13:00,948
Either way, it's too late now.
201
00:13:01,031 --> 00:13:02,366
Hello.
202
00:13:05,578 --> 00:13:06,954
Hello?
203
00:13:11,125 --> 00:13:12,209
It's me.
204
00:13:13,294 --> 00:13:14,670
Hello.
205
00:13:20,676 --> 00:13:21,844
Don't even think about it.
206
00:13:24,972 --> 00:13:26,557
Up there?
207
00:13:27,224 --> 00:13:28,517
Yeah?
208
00:13:29,685 --> 00:13:31,604
Why am I talking to a cat?
209
00:13:42,198 --> 00:13:43,574
Hello.
210
00:13:50,206 --> 00:13:51,874
Hello, Jeremy.
211
00:13:55,628 --> 00:13:56,504
I…
212
00:13:56,587 --> 00:13:57,713
The door was open.
213
00:13:58,631 --> 00:13:59,924
I called out, but—
214
00:14:00,007 --> 00:14:01,967
I've been expecting you.
215
00:14:02,051 --> 00:14:04,345
Oh, boy.
216
00:14:04,428 --> 00:14:07,556
Go ahead and look at me, Jeremy.
Don't be afraid.
217
00:14:11,685 --> 00:14:13,646
People said dreams don't come true.
218
00:14:15,022 --> 00:14:17,066
I'm glad you came.
219
00:14:17,566 --> 00:14:19,652
I want you to know
220
00:14:19,735 --> 00:14:22,905
that I'm usually not
this forward with women.
221
00:14:37,211 --> 00:14:39,338
Jeremy. Shit.
222
00:14:40,881 --> 00:14:41,882
What do I do?
223
00:14:55,020 --> 00:14:56,438
Jeremy.
224
00:14:57,690 --> 00:14:59,108
Jeremy.
225
00:15:01,235 --> 00:15:02,653
Hurry.
226
00:15:02,736 --> 00:15:06,949
You are the most intense,
gorgeous woman I ever met.
227
00:15:07,575 --> 00:15:09,910
I don't even know your name.
228
00:15:09,994 --> 00:15:11,787
Call me Nora.
229
00:15:12,413 --> 00:15:13,706
Nora?
230
00:15:14,873 --> 00:15:17,126
I thought that was your cat's name.
231
00:15:17,209 --> 00:15:18,752
Whatever.
232
00:15:32,266 --> 00:15:33,767
Did you hear something?
233
00:15:40,941 --> 00:15:43,444
You're not expecting anyone, are you?
234
00:15:55,164 --> 00:15:56,540
Stop this obscenity!
235
00:15:57,082 --> 00:15:58,876
Oh, God! Oh!
236
00:15:59,585 --> 00:16:00,628
Get him!
237
00:16:00,711 --> 00:16:01,629
Oh, you…
238
00:16:01,712 --> 00:16:05,674
Hey, you! Hey! Stop! Hey!
239
00:16:11,972 --> 00:16:14,224
Quick! I knew it!
240
00:16:14,308 --> 00:16:15,643
Drive!
241
00:16:17,770 --> 00:16:19,647
- Where are your clothes?
- Screw my clothes!
242
00:16:19,730 --> 00:16:21,357
Let's get the hell out of here!
243
00:16:30,824 --> 00:16:32,910
Milton High School, huh?
244
00:16:32,993 --> 00:16:34,953
Well, we'll see.
245
00:16:35,621 --> 00:16:37,206
Professor!
246
00:16:38,415 --> 00:16:39,333
Professor!
247
00:16:46,715 --> 00:16:48,342
I knew it. I knew it.
248
00:16:48,425 --> 00:16:51,387
I'm having the most intense
sexual experience of my life,
249
00:16:51,470 --> 00:16:53,180
and some wild man kicks the door down.
250
00:16:53,263 --> 00:16:55,474
- Who was it?
- Her husband, boyfriend—
251
00:16:55,557 --> 00:16:56,767
How the hell am I supposed to know?
252
00:16:56,850 --> 00:16:58,352
- You didn't see anybody?
- No, man.
253
00:16:58,435 --> 00:17:00,979
I saw this white van, but what could I do?
254
00:17:01,063 --> 00:17:02,690
Look, come on, this isn't funny.
255
00:17:02,773 --> 00:17:04,358
I could've been killed.
256
00:17:04,441 --> 00:17:06,276
You know, maybe you should
stick to your dreams, man.
257
00:17:06,360 --> 00:17:08,445
You're just not ready for real life yet.
258
00:17:09,697 --> 00:17:12,032
All right, all right.
259
00:17:16,578 --> 00:17:19,164
Look, I'm sorry things
didn't work out, okay?
260
00:17:19,248 --> 00:17:21,583
We don't have to tell anybody about this.
261
00:17:21,667 --> 00:17:24,002
- No, of course not.
- Come on, I…
262
00:17:24,086 --> 00:17:26,046
This wasn't one of
my prouder moments, okay?
263
00:17:26,130 --> 00:17:28,841
- Hey, you're bleeding.
- What? Oh, my…
264
00:17:28,924 --> 00:17:30,384
Wow. It looks like bite marks.
265
00:17:30,467 --> 00:17:32,052
Hey, I am impressed.
266
00:17:32,136 --> 00:17:34,179
I told you, she was intense.
267
00:17:35,139 --> 00:17:36,849
- Damn.
- That's right.
268
00:17:36,932 --> 00:17:39,268
- Later, man.
- See you later.
269
00:17:39,351 --> 00:17:40,436
Watch your sheet.
270
00:17:59,371 --> 00:18:01,165
What now, Professor?
271
00:18:02,833 --> 00:18:08,172
First we finish here,
then we locate the young man.
272
00:18:10,758 --> 00:18:12,551
What a night.
273
00:18:23,771 --> 00:18:24,938
Go!
274
00:18:51,632 --> 00:18:53,467
Hey. Hey. Hey.
275
00:19:19,952 --> 00:19:22,663
Jeremy, you haven't even
touched your breakfast.
276
00:19:22,746 --> 00:19:24,498
I'm not hungry.
277
00:19:24,581 --> 00:19:27,292
Louis, Jeremy won't eat his breakfast.
278
00:19:28,752 --> 00:19:31,338
- Eat.
- Do you feel all right?
279
00:19:31,421 --> 00:19:33,715
You look a little pale.
280
00:19:33,799 --> 00:19:35,342
I'm fine.
281
00:19:35,926 --> 00:19:37,636
I'm just tired.
282
00:19:37,719 --> 00:19:39,555
What'd you do to your neck?
283
00:19:40,264 --> 00:19:41,890
Cut myself shaving.
284
00:19:43,100 --> 00:19:45,227
Morning, Mrs. Capello, Mr. Capello.
285
00:19:45,310 --> 00:19:46,478
Morning, Ralph.
286
00:19:46,562 --> 00:19:48,772
- I think I'll stay home today.
- You better go on without him.
287
00:19:48,856 --> 00:19:50,691
I think he's caught something.
288
00:19:51,608 --> 00:19:54,236
I'm okay. Sort of.
289
00:19:55,028 --> 00:19:57,239
I'm just not hungry.
290
00:19:57,614 --> 00:19:59,616
Any speed traps today, Mrs. Capello?
291
00:19:59,700 --> 00:20:01,535
Lumkin Street and Fountain.
292
00:20:01,618 --> 00:20:04,246
Thanks. See you later, pal.
293
00:20:05,414 --> 00:20:06,790
Now, maybe if you'd eat something—
294
00:20:06,874 --> 00:20:08,458
Mom, please. I'm not hungry.
295
00:20:08,542 --> 00:20:10,043
All right. Go ahead.
Starve yourself.
296
00:20:10,127 --> 00:20:11,962
See if I care.
297
00:20:19,887 --> 00:20:20,971
Hey.
298
00:20:21,847 --> 00:20:23,682
You don't feel warm.
299
00:20:23,765 --> 00:20:25,350
I don't get it.
300
00:20:25,434 --> 00:20:27,060
I have to go.
301
00:20:28,770 --> 00:20:30,731
But you're sick.
302
00:20:47,164 --> 00:20:48,498
Damn!
303
00:20:48,832 --> 00:20:51,335
Well done, Grimsdyke.
You managed to hit the wall.
304
00:20:51,418 --> 00:20:54,129
- Sorry, Professor.
- You think we're playing games here?
305
00:20:54,212 --> 00:20:56,757
The fate of the human race
is hanging in the balance.
306
00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:58,300
Sorry, Professor.
307
00:20:58,383 --> 00:21:01,470
If my calculations are correct,
and they always are,
308
00:21:01,553 --> 00:21:05,057
twenty percent of the human race
will be infected by 1990.
309
00:21:05,140 --> 00:21:07,809
Within the next decade, we'll have lost
the entire North American continent,
310
00:21:07,893 --> 00:21:12,022
and by the year 2000, vampire Armageddon.
311
00:21:13,357 --> 00:21:14,566
Damn!
312
00:21:14,650 --> 00:21:16,401
Luckily for us, there's still time
313
00:21:16,485 --> 00:21:19,696
while the threat
is still containable, localized.
314
00:21:19,780 --> 00:21:22,574
Someday we'll be revered as heroes,
you and I.
315
00:21:23,784 --> 00:21:28,080
Meantime, the teenager
in the red convertible must die.
316
00:21:42,511 --> 00:21:44,680
What about Casey Baldwin?
Would you do it with him?
317
00:21:44,763 --> 00:21:46,848
No way. I hate jocks.
318
00:21:46,932 --> 00:21:48,850
What about Matt Newberry?
319
00:21:48,934 --> 00:21:50,852
God, I get hot just mentioning his name!
320
00:21:50,936 --> 00:21:52,771
He's too status conscious.
321
00:21:52,854 --> 00:21:55,607
Darla, you wouldn't do it with anybody.
322
00:21:55,691 --> 00:21:57,275
- Well—
- Wait a minute.
323
00:21:57,359 --> 00:21:59,069
What about Tom Cruise?
324
00:21:59,152 --> 00:22:00,862
Okay, you can put him down as a maybe.
325
00:22:00,946 --> 00:22:04,783
Uh-huh. Are you just saying that
because he's not here?
326
00:22:04,992 --> 00:22:06,952
Hi, Jeremy. I heard you were sick.
327
00:22:07,035 --> 00:22:08,620
- Yeah.
- Yeah, he had a bad night.
328
00:22:08,704 --> 00:22:09,955
Excuse us, please.
329
00:22:10,038 --> 00:22:11,832
Ralph, we have to talk.
330
00:22:11,915 --> 00:22:14,584
That girl's crazy about you, man.
I can't believe you don't go for her.
331
00:22:14,668 --> 00:22:17,087
- Not now, Ralph.
- Well, put in a good word for me.
332
00:22:18,547 --> 00:22:20,924
- Do you know anything about that guy?
- Why?
333
00:22:21,008 --> 00:22:23,010
Well, he keeps staring at me in algebra.
334
00:22:23,093 --> 00:22:25,012
That's Jeremy Capello.
335
00:22:25,095 --> 00:22:27,973
- Don't tell me you want him.
- Very funny, Gloria.
336
00:22:28,056 --> 00:22:30,934
- We are in deep shit.
- What are you talking about?
337
00:22:31,018 --> 00:22:33,854
Last night, after we left
the Gardner place, somebody torched it.
338
00:22:33,937 --> 00:22:35,981
- What?
- The police think it was arson.
339
00:22:36,064 --> 00:22:37,816
Don't you see? We were there.
340
00:22:37,899 --> 00:22:39,818
Yeah, but we didn't do anything.
341
00:22:39,901 --> 00:22:41,820
I mean, nobody even knows we were there…
342
00:22:41,903 --> 00:22:43,405
except the guy who busted in on you.
343
00:22:43,488 --> 00:22:44,489
Right. Exactly.
344
00:22:44,573 --> 00:22:46,575
What if he sets us up?
345
00:22:46,658 --> 00:22:48,326
Who's gonna believe
a couple of high school kids?
346
00:22:48,410 --> 00:22:50,495
Okay, look, let's calm down, okay?
Let's not panic.
347
00:22:50,579 --> 00:22:53,790
Ralph, I think someone's following me.
348
00:22:53,874 --> 00:22:55,250
What are you talking about? Who?
349
00:22:55,333 --> 00:22:57,169
I don't know. Some guy.
350
00:22:57,252 --> 00:22:59,004
Maybe a cop.
351
00:22:59,087 --> 00:23:00,380
Cops?
352
00:23:01,089 --> 00:23:03,175
Our lives are over.
353
00:23:03,258 --> 00:23:05,343
We're talking prison.
354
00:23:05,427 --> 00:23:08,263
We're talking homosexual rape
by convicts named Bruno.
355
00:23:08,346 --> 00:23:11,433
Hey, listen, we didn't do anything.
356
00:23:12,267 --> 00:23:14,394
- We got nothing to worry about, right?
- Right.
357
00:23:14,478 --> 00:23:16,521
- Right.
- Right.
358
00:23:20,901 --> 00:23:21,985
There it is, Professor.
359
00:23:22,069 --> 00:23:23,904
That's the demon's car, remember?
360
00:23:23,987 --> 00:23:26,615
Be patient, my fat friend.
We'll get him.
361
00:23:28,325 --> 00:23:29,576
Park over there.
362
00:23:42,714 --> 00:23:44,508
I can't drink this.
363
00:23:44,591 --> 00:23:46,218
I thought cherry was your favorite.
364
00:23:47,385 --> 00:23:48,970
Not today.
365
00:23:53,391 --> 00:23:54,351
That's him.
366
00:23:57,187 --> 00:23:58,647
Stay with him!
367
00:23:58,730 --> 00:24:00,107
Don't let him get away!
368
00:24:00,816 --> 00:24:02,651
Hey, hey, hey!
369
00:24:05,779 --> 00:24:07,072
Damn!
370
00:24:13,703 --> 00:24:16,206
Tell me that isn't the same
white van from last night.
371
00:24:16,289 --> 00:24:17,666
- What?
- It's probably nothing
372
00:24:17,749 --> 00:24:18,667
to worry about, right?
373
00:24:23,004 --> 00:24:24,714
We're dead.
374
00:24:27,467 --> 00:24:28,969
See? Nothing.
375
00:24:29,052 --> 00:24:32,222
I wasn't really worried.
Just after last night…
376
00:24:32,305 --> 00:24:35,058
After last night, you're paranoid as hell.
377
00:24:35,142 --> 00:24:36,768
Damn right.
378
00:24:38,979 --> 00:24:40,856
- Shit!
- What?
379
00:24:41,648 --> 00:24:44,109
That's him. Nora's husband.
380
00:24:44,985 --> 00:24:47,070
Where'd your mom
say that speed trap was today?
381
00:24:48,113 --> 00:24:50,323
Lumkin Street and Fountain. Why?
382
00:24:50,407 --> 00:24:52,284
- Hang on, man. Here we go.
- Whoa.
383
00:25:01,877 --> 00:25:03,170
Yeah!
384
00:25:24,274 --> 00:25:26,526
I am an animal!
385
00:25:45,545 --> 00:25:47,130
I knew it.
386
00:25:56,264 --> 00:25:58,516
- God, I'm sorry!
- You!
387
00:25:58,600 --> 00:25:59,893
Hi…
388
00:26:02,437 --> 00:26:03,855
Are you okay?
389
00:26:03,939 --> 00:26:05,815
Nothing's broken, if that's what you mean.
390
00:26:05,899 --> 00:26:07,359
Look, I'm really sorry, okay?
391
00:26:07,442 --> 00:26:09,778
How come you keep
staring at me in algebra?
392
00:26:09,861 --> 00:26:12,405
- I wasn't staring.
- Yes, you were.
393
00:26:12,489 --> 00:26:13,990
All right. I was staring.
394
00:26:14,074 --> 00:26:16,159
I didn't mean to
make you feel uncomfortable.
395
00:26:17,744 --> 00:26:19,329
Come on.
396
00:26:19,412 --> 00:26:21,122
- Come on.
- What?
397
00:26:21,206 --> 00:26:22,624
Go. Go!
398
00:26:23,541 --> 00:26:25,043
In here.
399
00:26:25,168 --> 00:26:26,795
You're very weird.
Do you know that?
400
00:26:26,878 --> 00:26:28,338
- Shh. Just get down.
- What?
401
00:26:28,421 --> 00:26:29,839
What? What?
402
00:26:29,923 --> 00:26:31,174
- There's someone following me.
- Who?
403
00:26:31,258 --> 00:26:32,634
I don't know. I think he's a cop.
404
00:26:32,717 --> 00:26:34,135
Really? What did you do?
405
00:26:34,219 --> 00:26:35,804
Nothing. It's a long story.
406
00:26:35,887 --> 00:26:38,098
Jeremy, are you okay?
407
00:26:38,181 --> 00:26:39,224
Do me a favor…
408
00:26:39,891 --> 00:26:43,186
Look in that mirror up there
and tell me who you see.
409
00:26:43,270 --> 00:26:44,938
- No one.
- Okay, good.
410
00:26:45,021 --> 00:26:48,942
Look out that glass door
and tell me who you see.
411
00:26:51,236 --> 00:26:52,487
Nobody.
412
00:26:52,570 --> 00:26:53,655
Nobody?
413
00:26:55,198 --> 00:26:56,574
No, there was someone out there.
414
00:26:56,658 --> 00:26:58,076
There was this weird guy.
415
00:26:58,159 --> 00:26:59,995
Okay, that's it.
416
00:27:00,078 --> 00:27:02,914
This has really been enlightening,
but I'm needed back on Earth.
417
00:27:02,998 --> 00:27:04,666
Don't let him see you leave the cooler!
418
00:27:04,749 --> 00:27:05,917
No problem.
419
00:27:06,001 --> 00:27:08,586
I'm carrying a can
of invisible hair spray.
420
00:27:23,435 --> 00:27:24,936
How you feeling, Jeremy?
421
00:27:25,020 --> 00:27:27,272
I'm okay. I'm just tired.
422
00:27:27,355 --> 00:27:29,774
Well, drink plenty of liquids.
That's the thing.
423
00:27:29,858 --> 00:27:32,527
Yeah. I think it's a protein deficiency.
424
00:27:32,610 --> 00:27:34,362
I'm making a protein shake.
425
00:27:34,446 --> 00:27:36,656
Your mom said a girl
named Candy called today.
426
00:27:38,992 --> 00:27:40,493
That's a great name.
427
00:27:40,577 --> 00:27:43,580
Candy. Sounds yummy.
428
00:27:43,663 --> 00:27:45,457
Yeah. She's a cheerleader.
429
00:27:45,540 --> 00:27:46,875
Blonde hair, all that stuff.
430
00:27:46,958 --> 00:27:48,168
Big deal.
431
00:27:48,251 --> 00:27:50,045
Women can really be a bother, can't they?
432
00:27:50,128 --> 00:27:52,589
Calling you all the time,
wanting to go out.
433
00:27:52,672 --> 00:27:54,966
It's missing something.
434
00:27:55,800 --> 00:27:58,970
Well, it's been nice having this little
man-to-man chat with you, son.
435
00:27:59,054 --> 00:28:00,722
Night, Dad.
436
00:28:58,321 --> 00:29:00,448
Protein drink, huh?
437
00:29:17,340 --> 00:29:19,300
Wake up, Jeremy.
438
00:29:20,385 --> 00:29:21,553
Jeremy.
439
00:29:22,637 --> 00:29:24,264
We have to talk.
440
00:29:24,347 --> 00:29:25,640
Shit!
441
00:29:27,058 --> 00:29:29,144
I'm too young to go to jail.
442
00:29:30,437 --> 00:29:32,856
Permit me to introduce myself.
443
00:29:32,939 --> 00:29:35,108
I am Modoc, at your service.
444
00:29:35,191 --> 00:29:36,985
You mean you're not a cop?
445
00:29:37,068 --> 00:29:40,655
Jeremy, it has come to my attention
that you have recently had
446
00:29:40,738 --> 00:29:44,951
a sordid sexual encounter
with a strange and beautiful woman.
447
00:29:45,034 --> 00:29:47,036
It wasn't sordid.
448
00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:48,955
You were bitten by this woman,
were you not?
449
00:29:49,038 --> 00:29:51,124
That's none of your damn business!
450
00:29:51,207 --> 00:29:53,710
Jeremy, this woman was…
451
00:29:53,877 --> 00:29:56,880
how shall I say… infected.
452
00:29:56,963 --> 00:29:58,423
Oh, God.
453
00:29:59,048 --> 00:30:01,259
She looked so clean.
454
00:30:02,093 --> 00:30:03,928
Oh, it's all right.
455
00:30:04,012 --> 00:30:07,474
I'll cooperate,
but please don't tell my parents.
456
00:30:07,557 --> 00:30:11,811
I think I'm missing something
in the translation here.
457
00:30:14,898 --> 00:30:17,567
You're not from the health department.
458
00:30:17,650 --> 00:30:18,860
No.
459
00:30:27,118 --> 00:30:29,746
All right. What is this all about?
460
00:30:29,829 --> 00:30:32,248
Have you experienced anything strange
461
00:30:32,332 --> 00:30:34,959
or unusual during the past 24 hours?
462
00:30:35,043 --> 00:30:36,628
Just you.
463
00:30:39,297 --> 00:30:40,298
How about them?
464
00:30:40,381 --> 00:30:42,425
A couple of stupid dogs. Big deal.
465
00:30:42,509 --> 00:30:44,344
They know, Jeremy.
466
00:30:44,427 --> 00:30:47,805
When that woman bit you,
she transferred a legacy unto you,
467
00:30:47,889 --> 00:30:51,017
the legacy of a secret society
which has endured for centuries.
468
00:30:51,100 --> 00:30:52,644
You're not like other people anymore.
469
00:30:52,727 --> 00:30:53,895
Come on. Who the hell are you?
470
00:30:53,978 --> 00:30:55,396
A new awareness is arising within you.
471
00:30:55,480 --> 00:30:56,689
New desires, even as we speak.
472
00:30:56,773 --> 00:30:58,149
- You can feel it, can't you?
- No!
473
00:30:58,233 --> 00:31:00,026
No longer will you
tread with ordinary men.
474
00:31:00,109 --> 00:31:02,153
Get to the point!
475
00:31:03,238 --> 00:31:04,614
All right. All right.
476
00:31:06,074 --> 00:31:08,660
In a nutshell, you're alive,
but you're not alive.
477
00:31:08,743 --> 00:31:10,370
You're dead, but you're not dead.
478
00:31:10,453 --> 00:31:12,914
Did you ever hear the word undead?
479
00:31:12,997 --> 00:31:15,041
How about this one: vampire?
480
00:31:15,124 --> 00:31:18,503
I hope you've heard that one,
because that's what you are, okay?
481
00:31:18,586 --> 00:31:20,380
- A vampire.
- Mm-hm.
482
00:31:21,881 --> 00:31:24,467
I wanted to break it to you
nice and easy, but no.
483
00:31:24,551 --> 00:31:26,719
Everything with you young people
has to be fast, fast, fast.
484
00:31:26,803 --> 00:31:29,097
- Get out of here.
- I know. It's a shock.
485
00:31:29,180 --> 00:31:31,015
No one wants to believe
it can happen to them.
486
00:31:31,099 --> 00:31:32,642
- I'm not a vampire.
- What's going on?
487
00:31:32,725 --> 00:31:34,060
Honey?
488
00:31:34,561 --> 00:31:35,937
- Get out of here!
- Jeremy?
489
00:31:36,020 --> 00:31:37,188
Hi.
490
00:31:37,313 --> 00:31:38,940
I thought I heard you talking to somebody.
491
00:31:39,023 --> 00:31:41,276
No. It was the radio.
492
00:31:41,568 --> 00:31:43,987
No. It didn't sound like the radio.
493
00:31:44,070 --> 00:31:46,864
It sounded like a man's voice.
494
00:31:49,033 --> 00:31:51,035
Well, good night.
495
00:32:21,608 --> 00:32:23,568
You leave me alone. Get out of here!
496
00:32:23,651 --> 00:32:24,652
I am not a vampire!
497
00:32:24,736 --> 00:32:27,030
And what makes you so sure?
498
00:32:27,113 --> 00:32:29,699
Vampires drink virgin blood, right?
499
00:32:29,782 --> 00:32:32,702
I'm not a virgin.
Ask Jenny Cicero.
500
00:32:32,785 --> 00:32:33,870
Louis?
501
00:32:33,953 --> 00:32:35,079
Come here.
502
00:32:35,163 --> 00:32:37,624
Haven't you noticed
your complexion turning pale?
503
00:32:37,707 --> 00:32:39,000
What about it?
504
00:32:39,083 --> 00:32:42,170
How about that uncomfortable glare
you're beginning to feel from the sun?
505
00:32:42,253 --> 00:32:43,713
I can explain that.
506
00:32:43,796 --> 00:32:46,341
- Your loss of appetite?
- Protein deficiency!
507
00:32:46,424 --> 00:32:48,051
How about your craving for raw meat?
508
00:32:48,134 --> 00:32:50,595
- More precisely, fresh blood?
- That's not true.
509
00:32:50,678 --> 00:32:53,264
Do you recognize this man?
510
00:32:54,057 --> 00:32:56,726
You are in grave danger, Jeremy.
511
00:32:56,809 --> 00:32:58,561
Wait, wait, wait. This…
512
00:32:58,645 --> 00:33:00,396
This guy's been following me.
513
00:33:00,480 --> 00:33:02,190
We need to talk.
514
00:33:02,273 --> 00:33:03,566
What?
515
00:33:03,691 --> 00:33:05,151
Who's that man?
516
00:33:06,611 --> 00:33:08,071
Get in the car.
517
00:33:08,154 --> 00:33:10,740
I don't know.
He's not from the neighborhood.
518
00:33:14,619 --> 00:33:17,288
This man is Professor Leopold McCarthy,
519
00:33:17,372 --> 00:33:21,292
a noted historian by profession,
a ruthless murderer by choice.
520
00:33:21,376 --> 00:33:23,044
Together with his feeble-minded assistant,
521
00:33:23,127 --> 00:33:25,546
he's waged a war
against our kind for 20 years,
522
00:33:25,630 --> 00:33:29,342
and he will not rest until he has wiped
the last of us from the face of the earth.
523
00:33:29,425 --> 00:33:30,426
Us?
524
00:33:30,510 --> 00:33:34,180
- Vampires?
- Stop the car, freako.
525
00:33:34,263 --> 00:33:36,683
I'm here to help make the transition
526
00:33:36,766 --> 00:33:40,228
from your old life to your new life
as easy as possible.
527
00:33:40,311 --> 00:33:42,230
For the next few days,
I shall be your tutor
528
00:33:42,313 --> 00:33:44,649
and hopefully your friend.
529
00:33:44,732 --> 00:33:48,945
If you are a vampire,
how can you be out in the daylight?
530
00:33:49,028 --> 00:33:50,905
Undead vampires must remain in the dark.
531
00:33:50,988 --> 00:33:52,907
But you and I are living vampires.
532
00:33:52,990 --> 00:33:55,410
You will find that
and other useful information
533
00:33:55,493 --> 00:33:57,453
covered in this.
534
00:33:58,121 --> 00:34:02,875
Vampirism. A Practical Guide
to an Alternative Lifestyle?
535
00:34:02,959 --> 00:34:05,878
That is your Bible.
Read it, learn it, live it.
536
00:34:05,962 --> 00:34:09,006
- That's it.
- At least take this.
537
00:34:09,132 --> 00:34:10,425
What? What is this?
538
00:34:10,508 --> 00:34:13,302
That's the name of a reliable
all-night butcher.
539
00:34:13,386 --> 00:34:16,431
There's no getting around it, kid.
Vampires drink blood.
540
00:34:16,514 --> 00:34:19,142
We suggest pigs' blood, B-negative.
541
00:34:19,225 --> 00:34:23,479
I think you'll find it surprisingly
full-bodied with a smooth flavor.
542
00:34:23,563 --> 00:34:25,898
Just pull over and let me out, all right?
543
00:34:25,982 --> 00:34:27,775
All right, all right.
544
00:34:27,859 --> 00:34:29,277
Believe me, I know how you feel.
545
00:34:29,360 --> 00:34:32,363
But read your handbook,
get some sunglasses,
546
00:34:32,447 --> 00:34:34,574
and don't fret over
drinking a little blood.
547
00:34:34,657 --> 00:34:36,409
Think of it as taking your vitamins.
548
00:34:37,618 --> 00:34:39,287
I am not a vampire!
549
00:34:39,370 --> 00:34:42,206
Well, I'll pop up from time to time
just to see how you're getting on.
550
00:34:42,290 --> 00:34:44,542
Don't bother,
'cause I never want to see you again.
551
00:34:44,625 --> 00:34:46,502
And I'm not reading this book!
552
00:34:47,920 --> 00:34:50,256
And I'm not a vampire!
553
00:35:01,184 --> 00:35:02,852
I'm intrigued by her.
554
00:35:02,935 --> 00:35:04,854
There's definitely more to this girl
than meets the eye.
555
00:35:04,937 --> 00:35:07,815
Yeah, I hope so, for your sake.
556
00:35:08,357 --> 00:35:09,692
All right, Ralph.
557
00:35:09,776 --> 00:35:12,361
As much as I hate it,
it's your turn to drive.
558
00:35:13,237 --> 00:35:15,948
You're next, Capello.
In the back.
559
00:35:16,032 --> 00:35:18,951
This time, try and stay with him.
560
00:35:19,577 --> 00:35:21,579
I will, Professor.
561
00:35:21,662 --> 00:35:23,539
I warn you, any nonsense,
562
00:35:23,623 --> 00:35:26,375
and I'll make sure
your insurance skyrockets.
563
00:35:28,044 --> 00:35:30,588
Constant, gentle pressure
on the accelerator.
564
00:35:30,671 --> 00:35:32,757
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Turn left here.
565
00:35:32,840 --> 00:35:35,843
You failed to check your mirrors.
566
00:35:37,428 --> 00:35:38,471
Shit!
567
00:35:38,554 --> 00:35:40,264
- I beg your pardon.
- Shit!
568
00:35:40,348 --> 00:35:43,017
What the hell are you doing?
569
00:35:46,354 --> 00:35:48,064
Ralph, look out!
570
00:35:55,530 --> 00:35:57,406
Where are you going?
571
00:35:57,490 --> 00:36:00,952
Oh, my God, watch it!
Watch these people!
572
00:36:04,789 --> 00:36:06,624
Endangering pedestrians.
573
00:36:10,795 --> 00:36:11,712
Look out!
574
00:36:12,713 --> 00:36:14,382
Easy, easy!
575
00:36:16,133 --> 00:36:19,512
Watch that guy!
Hey, look out!
576
00:36:19,595 --> 00:36:22,014
You will never drive in this town again.
577
00:36:32,316 --> 00:36:34,151
Grimsdyke.
578
00:36:34,235 --> 00:36:35,278
That's it!
579
00:36:35,361 --> 00:36:37,280
Fine. Let's bounce this bozo.
580
00:36:37,363 --> 00:36:39,574
Get back here, young man!
581
00:36:40,449 --> 00:36:42,577
Hey! You got a problem, pal?
582
00:36:42,660 --> 00:36:44,537
- He's attacking!
- Huh?
583
00:36:47,331 --> 00:36:48,833
Oh, shit!
584
00:36:56,549 --> 00:36:57,758
Damn!
585
00:37:00,761 --> 00:37:02,597
- Ralph.
- I saw that!
586
00:37:03,306 --> 00:37:05,808
Your driving frightened that man
into an accident!
587
00:37:05,892 --> 00:37:07,894
More points!
588
00:37:07,977 --> 00:37:10,104
Hey! Come back here!
589
00:37:31,334 --> 00:37:32,793
Hi.
590
00:37:32,877 --> 00:37:35,171
You're staring at me again.
591
00:37:35,254 --> 00:37:38,591
Look, I'm really sorry about yesterday.
592
00:37:39,091 --> 00:37:40,843
I really made a jerk of myself.
593
00:37:40,927 --> 00:37:43,554
You know, you make me very nervous.
594
00:37:43,638 --> 00:37:45,932
I had a dream about you the other night.
595
00:37:46,015 --> 00:37:48,309
Are you gonna gross me out?
596
00:37:48,392 --> 00:37:50,353
No, it wasn't like that.
597
00:37:52,730 --> 00:37:54,857
Would you go out with me sometime?
598
00:37:57,526 --> 00:37:59,695
I don't know. Maybe.
599
00:38:00,029 --> 00:38:02,281
You let me slip through your fingers,
and you'll always regret it.
600
00:38:05,326 --> 00:38:08,079
Well, okay.
601
00:38:08,162 --> 00:38:10,289
- Really?
- Yeah.
602
00:38:10,373 --> 00:38:13,834
Great! I'll pick you up at 7:00.
603
00:38:13,918 --> 00:38:16,587
- Wait. Tonight?
- Why not?
604
00:38:18,631 --> 00:38:20,299
What did he want?
605
00:38:20,383 --> 00:38:23,177
Guess what.
I've got a date for tonight!
606
00:38:23,260 --> 00:38:24,929
Not with that geek.
607
00:38:25,012 --> 00:38:26,639
Darla, he's all wrong.
608
00:38:26,722 --> 00:38:28,683
Oh, shut up, Gloria.
609
00:38:29,392 --> 00:38:31,602
He dreamed about me.
610
00:38:55,751 --> 00:38:57,628
The mirror's not working.
611
00:39:00,381 --> 00:39:02,133
Great. Great.
612
00:39:17,773 --> 00:39:19,984
Doesn't anything in this house work?
613
00:39:31,037 --> 00:39:33,706
- You must be Jeremy.
- We're so happy to see you.
614
00:39:33,789 --> 00:39:36,167
Don't block the doorway, Helen.
Let the boy come in.
615
00:39:36,250 --> 00:39:39,170
I'm Darla's father, Buddy Blake.
616
00:39:39,462 --> 00:39:40,880
You can call me Buddy.
617
00:39:40,963 --> 00:39:42,715
Oh. Okay, Buddy.
618
00:39:42,798 --> 00:39:44,925
- This is my wife Helen.
- Hi.
619
00:39:45,009 --> 00:39:46,635
You're a sharp-looking boy.
620
00:39:46,719 --> 00:39:48,679
Isn't he a sharp-looking boy, Buddy?
621
00:39:48,763 --> 00:39:50,681
He certainly is.
622
00:39:50,765 --> 00:39:53,726
Well, let's see if Darla's ready.
623
00:39:55,227 --> 00:39:57,104
Princess!
624
00:39:57,188 --> 00:39:58,898
Your escort is here!
625
00:39:58,981 --> 00:40:00,149
Coming!
626
00:40:00,983 --> 00:40:03,569
Would you like a drink, Jeremy?
627
00:40:03,652 --> 00:40:06,155
No. I'm driving.
628
00:40:07,364 --> 00:40:09,658
Of course. Good answer.
629
00:40:09,742 --> 00:40:12,161
There she is.
630
00:40:12,244 --> 00:40:14,330
Isn't she lovely?
631
00:40:14,413 --> 00:40:16,749
Come on, Mom. Cut it out.
632
00:40:21,587 --> 00:40:24,090
They make a really cute couple,
don't they, Helen?
633
00:40:24,173 --> 00:40:25,424
Just like us.
634
00:40:25,508 --> 00:40:26,634
- Hi.
- Hi.
635
00:40:26,717 --> 00:40:28,260
Okay, kids. Up against the wall.
636
00:40:28,344 --> 00:40:29,845
Mom!
637
00:40:29,929 --> 00:40:33,808
Oh, come on now.
Don't spoil your father's fun.
638
00:40:33,891 --> 00:40:36,268
Ready now? Okay.
639
00:40:36,727 --> 00:40:38,437
Oh, wait. Wait.
640
00:40:38,521 --> 00:40:40,356
Helen, they're perfect.
641
00:40:40,439 --> 00:40:43,109
This is totally humiliating!
642
00:40:43,859 --> 00:40:46,195
Okay, big smiles now.
643
00:40:47,905 --> 00:40:49,281
- One more.
- One more for Grandma.
644
00:40:49,365 --> 00:40:51,450
Say cheese.
645
00:40:51,534 --> 00:40:53,119
Look, we're late.
We've gotta go. Bye.
646
00:40:53,202 --> 00:40:54,245
Have a good time, Princess.
647
00:41:02,503 --> 00:41:05,798
- I'm really sorry about that.
- Look, I understand.
648
00:41:05,881 --> 00:41:08,384
Don't worry about it.
I have parents, too.
649
00:41:09,677 --> 00:41:12,096
- Damn!
- What's wrong?
650
00:41:12,179 --> 00:41:14,431
Didn't they turn out?
651
00:41:16,892 --> 00:41:18,227
Piece of junk.
652
00:41:21,730 --> 00:41:26,819
Okay, you ordered one garbage can pizza,
double on everything but anchovies.
653
00:41:27,987 --> 00:41:29,572
Thank you.
654
00:41:29,947 --> 00:41:31,991
But Ralph isn't really a jerk.
655
00:41:32,074 --> 00:41:35,035
He's… he's a good guy at heart.
656
00:41:35,369 --> 00:41:39,665
But he… he thinks that
I should only date gorgeous girls
657
00:41:39,748 --> 00:41:41,750
who have big…
658
00:41:42,960 --> 00:41:45,838
Big boobs and long, blonde hair
659
00:41:46,005 --> 00:41:49,049
- and beautifully sun-tanned skin and…
- Ditzy.
660
00:41:49,133 --> 00:41:52,011
When it comes to girls,
Ralph's only interested in one thing.
661
00:41:52,094 --> 00:41:53,470
You know.
662
00:41:53,554 --> 00:41:54,638
Yeah, I know.
663
00:41:54,722 --> 00:41:58,434
Ralph is… can be a jerk sometimes,
664
00:41:59,059 --> 00:42:01,228
but he's my best friend.
665
00:42:01,312 --> 00:42:04,064
And what can I say?
666
00:42:04,732 --> 00:42:06,984
That's okay. I understand.
667
00:42:07,067 --> 00:42:09,653
Gloria doesn't exactly think
you're hot stuff, either.
668
00:42:09,737 --> 00:42:11,447
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
669
00:42:12,823 --> 00:42:16,619
Well, I'm glad they don't
pick our dates, I guess.
670
00:42:18,245 --> 00:42:19,914
Jeremy, are you okay?
671
00:42:22,124 --> 00:42:23,417
Yeah.
672
00:42:23,626 --> 00:42:27,087
I'm suddenly not hungry.
673
00:42:27,171 --> 00:42:28,756
You know, I heard you've been sick lately.
674
00:42:28,839 --> 00:42:31,759
- It's nothing, really.
- Well, maybe you have an allergy.
675
00:42:31,842 --> 00:42:34,970
Excuse me, but what's on this pizza?
676
00:42:35,095 --> 00:42:36,430
You ordered everything.
677
00:42:36,513 --> 00:42:37,890
That's pepperoni, sausage,
678
00:42:37,973 --> 00:42:41,268
tomatoes, mushrooms, onions,
olives, peppers and garlic.
679
00:42:43,896 --> 00:42:45,022
Garlic.
680
00:42:51,862 --> 00:42:54,406
That's his car.
We've found him.
681
00:43:19,598 --> 00:43:20,641
Shit.
682
00:43:31,902 --> 00:43:33,487
It's a beautiful night.
683
00:43:34,071 --> 00:43:36,657
Yeah. I like the dark.
684
00:43:36,740 --> 00:43:38,409
I think I'm a night person.
685
00:43:39,952 --> 00:43:42,788
Jeremy, why did you ask me out?
686
00:43:44,915 --> 00:43:46,333
I don't know.
687
00:43:46,417 --> 00:43:49,044
You see someone you like,
you wanna know them better,
688
00:43:49,128 --> 00:43:50,212
you ask them out.
689
00:43:51,338 --> 00:43:54,258
And because I wanna prove to you
I'm not the big jerk that you think I am.
690
00:43:54,341 --> 00:43:56,552
Oh, I don't think you're a big jerk.
691
00:43:56,635 --> 00:43:58,595
Gloria does, but I don't.
692
00:43:58,679 --> 00:44:00,055
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
693
00:44:00,139 --> 00:44:02,933
Well, Ralph thinks
you're a musical freak or something.
694
00:44:03,017 --> 00:44:07,438
Well, Gloria says you're…
you're a repulsive, sickly slimeball.
695
00:44:07,521 --> 00:44:09,106
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
696
00:44:09,189 --> 00:44:12,609
Ralph says…
Wait, that's his problem.
697
00:44:12,693 --> 00:44:14,778
I like you just the way you are.
698
00:44:15,821 --> 00:44:16,947
You're special.
699
00:44:17,031 --> 00:44:18,407
I am?
700
00:44:18,490 --> 00:44:19,700
Yeah.
701
00:44:28,417 --> 00:44:31,170
- Grimsdyke?
- Yes, sir?
702
00:44:31,253 --> 00:44:33,255
I think I'll go and lie down for a bit.
703
00:44:33,339 --> 00:44:35,632
Yes, Professor.
I'll take the first watch.
704
00:44:35,716 --> 00:44:39,928
Right. Call me
if you witness anything unusual.
705
00:44:40,971 --> 00:44:42,056
I will, Professor.
706
00:44:52,107 --> 00:44:53,734
Grimsdyke!
707
00:44:58,364 --> 00:45:00,783
Out. Now.
708
00:45:02,493 --> 00:45:03,869
Yes, Professor.
709
00:45:17,966 --> 00:45:19,093
Jeremy.
710
00:45:39,238 --> 00:45:41,365
Jeremy, what's wrong?
You're wheezing.
711
00:45:48,205 --> 00:45:49,289
Oh, no.
712
00:45:50,040 --> 00:45:52,793
Jeremy, what's wrong?
You're not sick, are you?
713
00:45:55,254 --> 00:45:58,632
- I have to go!
- Jeremy, what's wrong?
714
00:45:58,715 --> 00:46:00,801
Where are you going? Stop!
715
00:46:00,884 --> 00:46:03,095
Wait! You can't do this!
716
00:46:03,178 --> 00:46:05,722
Stop! Please don't go!
717
00:46:05,806 --> 00:46:08,267
You can't leave me here.
718
00:46:08,434 --> 00:46:10,018
Come back!
719
00:46:10,436 --> 00:46:11,728
Wait!
720
00:46:12,896 --> 00:46:14,773
- Where are you going?
- Darla!
721
00:46:16,567 --> 00:46:18,360
What happened?
722
00:46:22,656 --> 00:46:24,074
Damn it!
723
00:46:24,158 --> 00:46:26,076
Jeremy Capello, you blew it!
724
00:46:35,377 --> 00:46:37,212
Find what you're looking for?
725
00:46:37,296 --> 00:46:40,048
Nah, the evil slime
hasn't shown himself…
726
00:46:43,385 --> 00:46:44,970
Oh, yes, he has.
727
00:46:45,971 --> 00:46:46,972
No!
728
00:46:47,055 --> 00:46:49,641
Who are you? What do you want?
729
00:46:49,725 --> 00:46:51,852
Why are you watching my house?
730
00:46:54,730 --> 00:46:56,440
Stay back!
731
00:46:57,149 --> 00:47:00,402
You don't want me!
I'm old!
732
00:47:00,486 --> 00:47:02,946
My blood's polluted with cholesterol!
733
00:47:03,030 --> 00:47:05,199
- What?
- Professor!
734
00:47:31,266 --> 00:47:33,060
Get a grip on yourself.
735
00:47:34,061 --> 00:47:36,146
Slow down, you maniac!
736
00:47:36,230 --> 00:47:38,565
You mad little bastard! What happened?
737
00:47:38,649 --> 00:47:40,609
It was horrible, Professor.
738
00:47:40,692 --> 00:47:43,320
The monster snuck up behind me!
739
00:47:45,864 --> 00:47:48,408
His eyes burned like coal.
740
00:47:49,451 --> 00:47:52,621
Fangs three inches long
glistened in the moonlight.
741
00:47:52,704 --> 00:47:54,289
That scum!
742
00:47:54,373 --> 00:47:56,792
He had me totally under his spell!
743
00:47:56,875 --> 00:47:58,418
Thank God for this.
744
00:48:05,384 --> 00:48:07,427
Can I get you anything?
745
00:48:07,511 --> 00:48:09,054
Yes.
746
00:48:09,137 --> 00:48:10,931
I'd like a…
747
00:48:12,015 --> 00:48:14,893
a… two of those.
748
00:48:18,772 --> 00:48:20,274
Three T-bones.
749
00:48:21,858 --> 00:48:24,361
And six chickens, please.
750
00:48:25,988 --> 00:48:26,947
What else?
751
00:48:27,030 --> 00:48:29,575
I'd like a… a quart of pigs' blood.
752
00:48:29,658 --> 00:48:31,660
What was that last one?
753
00:48:31,743 --> 00:48:33,662
A quart of pigs' blood.
754
00:48:33,745 --> 00:48:35,998
A quart of pigs' blood.
755
00:48:36,081 --> 00:48:39,042
- A pint.
- Pint of pigs' blood.
756
00:48:44,256 --> 00:48:46,508
How much for just the blood?
757
00:48:46,592 --> 00:48:48,135
Two-fifty-nine.
758
00:48:49,928 --> 00:48:51,430
Thank you.
759
00:48:52,306 --> 00:48:54,099
First time, huh, kid?
760
00:48:59,479 --> 00:49:01,064
I think I'm gonna puke.
761
00:49:05,694 --> 00:49:07,029
It's not bad.
762
00:49:08,697 --> 00:49:10,157
Not bad.
763
00:49:22,961 --> 00:49:24,504
I can't believe it.
764
00:49:25,297 --> 00:49:27,257
I'm a vampire.
765
00:50:20,060 --> 00:50:21,770
This blood's for you.
766
00:50:23,021 --> 00:50:24,022
I'm proud of you, Jeremy.
767
00:50:24,106 --> 00:50:26,817
You got my vote
for Vampire Rookie of the Year.
768
00:50:26,900 --> 00:50:28,860
Why is this happening to me?
769
00:50:28,944 --> 00:50:31,321
I've been good. No drugs, no alcohol.
770
00:50:31,405 --> 00:50:34,950
I… I do my homework. Why me?
771
00:50:35,033 --> 00:50:39,371
Look, try not to
think of this as a handicap.
772
00:50:39,454 --> 00:50:42,207
I mean, there are a lot worse things
than being a vampire.
773
00:50:42,290 --> 00:50:46,837
Are you aware that one of past presidents
of these United States was a vampire?
774
00:50:46,920 --> 00:50:48,338
Which one?
775
00:50:48,422 --> 00:50:49,881
That's not the point.
776
00:50:49,965 --> 00:50:52,509
I'm trying to illustrate
that life can still be full,
777
00:50:52,592 --> 00:50:54,428
it can still be rewarding,
778
00:50:54,511 --> 00:50:57,472
that there are certain advantages
to being a vampire.
779
00:50:57,556 --> 00:50:59,850
Yeah? Name one.
780
00:51:00,600 --> 00:51:02,185
All right.
781
00:51:02,352 --> 00:51:04,688
How old do you think I am?
782
00:51:04,771 --> 00:51:06,857
I don't know.
Forty? Fifty? So what?
783
00:51:09,401 --> 00:51:14,614
This coming October,
I shall celebrate my 265th birthday.
784
00:51:15,824 --> 00:51:19,244
For every decade,
you shall age but a single year.
785
00:51:19,327 --> 00:51:21,371
That's not a bad deal.
786
00:51:21,455 --> 00:51:22,539
What?
787
00:51:23,665 --> 00:51:26,334
Wait. You're telling me
that I'm gonna be a teenager
788
00:51:26,418 --> 00:51:28,170
for another 20 years?
789
00:51:28,253 --> 00:51:30,505
Are you gonna sit around
and sulk for the next century?
790
00:51:30,589 --> 00:51:31,673
No.
791
00:51:32,507 --> 00:51:35,218
But I deserve a few minutes.
792
00:51:36,094 --> 00:51:37,929
I happen to like garlic.
793
00:51:38,013 --> 00:51:39,848
Well, it's a minor loss.
794
00:51:39,931 --> 00:51:41,975
Garlic just doesn't go with blood.
795
00:51:42,058 --> 00:51:44,186
But there are compensations.
796
00:51:44,269 --> 00:51:46,480
With a long life,
you're gonna have a chance
797
00:51:46,563 --> 00:51:48,774
to meet some of
the most fascinating people on earth.
798
00:51:48,857 --> 00:51:51,026
Over the years, I've known people
799
00:51:51,109 --> 00:51:55,906
like Pablo Picasso, Sigmund Freud,
Isabel Watson, Madame Curie.
800
00:51:55,989 --> 00:51:57,574
Who's Isabel Watson?
801
00:51:57,657 --> 00:51:59,075
Trust me, she was fascinating.
802
00:51:59,159 --> 00:52:00,869
What's more, with time on your side,
803
00:52:00,952 --> 00:52:03,830
you're gonna have the opportunity
to pursue your interests to their fullest.
804
00:52:03,914 --> 00:52:05,665
You sound like my guidance counselor.
805
00:52:05,749 --> 00:52:07,793
Look, all I'm trying to say is that
806
00:52:07,876 --> 00:52:11,004
whether you're a vampire
or a regular person,
807
00:52:11,087 --> 00:52:14,257
you must set goals, make plans,
live a full life.
808
00:52:14,341 --> 00:52:15,550
You can live several of them.
809
00:52:15,634 --> 00:52:18,470
Well, that's just great,
but you're forgetting one thing.
810
00:52:18,553 --> 00:52:22,015
I made a fool of myself with Darla
because I'm a vampire.
811
00:52:22,098 --> 00:52:25,143
Come on. Men have been making fools
of themselves for centuries
812
00:52:25,227 --> 00:52:27,312
where women are concerned.
813
00:52:27,395 --> 00:52:30,690
Luckily for us, they rather like it.
814
00:52:30,774 --> 00:52:33,443
She'll come around as soon
as she thinks you've suffered enough.
815
00:52:33,527 --> 00:52:37,280
No, no.
You don't know Darla Blake.
816
00:52:37,405 --> 00:52:40,450
Then again, there are the powers.
817
00:52:41,535 --> 00:52:43,078
Powers?
818
00:52:44,371 --> 00:52:45,664
I wish you'd read that book.
819
00:52:45,747 --> 00:52:47,916
I mean, you might find some
pleasant surprises in there,
820
00:52:47,999 --> 00:52:52,587
like how to emit
a certain irresistible charm.
821
00:52:52,671 --> 00:52:55,298
- What page?
- Try the index under Trances.
822
00:52:55,382 --> 00:52:56,633
Mm-hm. Mm-hm.
823
00:52:57,509 --> 00:53:00,428
Hey, hey. Can I turn into a bat?
824
00:53:00,512 --> 00:53:02,347
Don't be silly.
825
00:53:15,193 --> 00:53:16,570
Darla, hi.
826
00:53:16,653 --> 00:53:18,738
Listen, I wanna explain about last night.
827
00:53:18,822 --> 00:53:21,616
Look, you don't have to.
You came through loud and clear.
828
00:53:21,700 --> 00:53:23,034
No, you don't understand.
829
00:53:23,118 --> 00:53:25,495
I've had something happen to me recently.
I've been going through some changes.
830
00:53:25,579 --> 00:53:28,498
Yeah, it's called puberty, jerk,
and she's not interested.
831
00:53:28,582 --> 00:53:30,375
Gloria, give it a rest, okay?
832
00:53:30,458 --> 00:53:33,336
Darla, don't give in.
He made a fool out of you.
833
00:53:33,420 --> 00:53:36,172
Gloria's right, you know?
And you're doing it again.
834
00:53:36,256 --> 00:53:37,549
Look, I'm sorry.
835
00:53:37,757 --> 00:53:40,260
First date's always the worst, right?
836
00:53:40,343 --> 00:53:42,178
- Just give me one more chance.
- Why should I?
837
00:53:42,262 --> 00:53:45,682
Because I like you
and because I don't want our relationship
838
00:53:45,765 --> 00:53:47,017
to end before it begins.
839
00:53:47,100 --> 00:53:49,936
I have to get back to practice.
840
00:53:51,271 --> 00:53:52,147
Darla…
841
00:53:56,526 --> 00:53:57,777
come back.
842
00:54:00,280 --> 00:54:02,532
Raise your right hand.
843
00:54:08,788 --> 00:54:10,999
When I snap my fingers,
844
00:54:11,082 --> 00:54:14,711
you will awaken,
you will accept my apology,
845
00:54:15,337 --> 00:54:17,672
and you will go out with me
on Saturday night.
846
00:54:17,756 --> 00:54:19,841
Do you understand?
847
00:54:24,471 --> 00:54:26,681
You've gotta be kidding.
848
00:54:44,491 --> 00:54:46,284
Our next selection is from Barry Manilow,
849
00:54:46,368 --> 00:54:48,870
- the man who writes the songs…
- Barry Manilow!
850
00:54:48,954 --> 00:54:50,372
Save it.
851
00:54:55,627 --> 00:54:57,045
Oh, no!
852
00:55:13,603 --> 00:55:15,981
- Hi, Mrs. Capello.
- Oh, hi, Ralph.
853
00:55:16,439 --> 00:55:18,024
Oh, Ralph.
854
00:55:18,525 --> 00:55:21,277
You know,
Jeremy's been acting pretty weird lately.
855
00:55:21,361 --> 00:55:23,780
Do you have any idea
what's wrong with him?
856
00:55:23,863 --> 00:55:25,991
Not really. He's a pretty complicated guy.
857
00:55:26,074 --> 00:55:27,450
What do you mean?
858
00:55:29,119 --> 00:55:30,787
He's having some girl problems.
859
00:55:30,870 --> 00:55:31,997
That's probably all it is.
860
00:55:32,080 --> 00:55:35,667
Well, Ralph, see if you can find out
what's bothering him, okay?
861
00:55:35,750 --> 00:55:37,544
I will, Mrs. Capello.
862
00:55:38,336 --> 00:55:39,671
My son…
863
00:55:39,754 --> 00:55:41,673
has a problem with girls?
864
00:55:42,716 --> 00:55:44,801
The goddamn white van
is still following me.
865
00:55:44,884 --> 00:55:47,387
What? Why is it following you?
866
00:55:50,098 --> 00:55:51,558
- Is it gone?
- Yeah.
867
00:55:54,144 --> 00:55:55,937
Man, I don't get this.
868
00:55:56,021 --> 00:55:57,605
Ralph, I've got something to tell you.
869
00:55:59,441 --> 00:56:00,567
I'm…
870
00:56:00,650 --> 00:56:02,485
I'm a vampire.
871
00:56:06,031 --> 00:56:07,532
That's cool, man.
872
00:56:07,615 --> 00:56:09,951
That's all you're gonna say to me.
That's cool?
873
00:56:10,035 --> 00:56:12,245
Jeremy, you're my best friend.
What do you want me to say?
874
00:56:12,328 --> 00:56:13,705
- I think you're crazy?
- No, no.
875
00:56:13,788 --> 00:56:16,332
Remember I was telling you
about that cop that was trailing me?
876
00:56:16,416 --> 00:56:17,375
Yeah?
877
00:56:17,459 --> 00:56:19,627
He told me that that woman
who bit me was a vampire.
878
00:56:19,711 --> 00:56:21,254
He told me I was a vampire.
879
00:56:21,337 --> 00:56:22,756
A cop told you that?
880
00:56:22,839 --> 00:56:25,550
Ralph, he wasn't a cop.
He's a vampire, too.
881
00:56:25,633 --> 00:56:28,261
- Wow.
- You don't believe me, do you?
882
00:56:28,344 --> 00:56:30,430
To tell you the truth, man,
I'm kinda torn.
883
00:56:30,513 --> 00:56:33,516
See, I have this problem
with vampirism in general.
884
00:56:33,600 --> 00:56:36,394
Come on, let me show you something.
Come on. Let's go.
885
00:56:42,942 --> 00:56:44,235
Go in.
886
00:56:49,616 --> 00:56:50,867
What?
887
00:56:50,950 --> 00:56:52,577
Watch this.
888
00:56:56,081 --> 00:56:57,373
Well?
889
00:56:57,624 --> 00:56:59,417
It's a trick.
890
00:56:59,501 --> 00:57:01,002
A trick?
891
00:57:02,253 --> 00:57:05,173
Yeah, David Copperfield
does this stuff all the time.
892
00:57:05,256 --> 00:57:07,842
I once saw him
make the Statue of Liberty disappear.
893
00:57:09,552 --> 00:57:10,845
Okay.
894
00:57:14,390 --> 00:57:18,812
But let me show you something
David Copperfield doesn't do.
895
00:57:27,904 --> 00:57:31,699
Yeah, it's red and it's liquid.
Is it blood?
896
00:57:43,878 --> 00:57:45,213
Hey, Ralph.
897
00:57:51,344 --> 00:57:53,680
Well, what did he say?
898
00:57:54,472 --> 00:57:55,974
You don't want to know.
899
00:57:56,057 --> 00:57:58,101
Ralph, I'm his mother.
900
00:57:58,184 --> 00:58:00,186
I want to know what's bothering him.
901
00:58:00,270 --> 00:58:02,647
No, you don't.
Trust me.
902
00:58:03,398 --> 00:58:06,442
Some things are too personal.
903
00:58:08,361 --> 00:58:10,238
Too personal?
904
00:58:12,407 --> 00:58:14,617
Oh, my God.
905
00:58:28,715 --> 00:58:29,674
Jeremy.
906
00:58:29,757 --> 00:58:32,427
I just dropped in to say goodbye.
907
00:58:32,510 --> 00:58:34,012
You're leaving?
908
00:58:34,095 --> 00:58:36,890
- My work is finished here.
- Terrific.
909
00:58:36,973 --> 00:58:39,642
My life is ruined and you're going on.
910
00:58:39,726 --> 00:58:40,852
What's gonna happen?
911
00:58:40,935 --> 00:58:42,562
Well, that's entirely up to you.
912
00:58:42,645 --> 00:58:45,023
My purpose was merely to point you
in the right direction,
913
00:58:45,106 --> 00:58:47,817
not to hold your hand forever.
914
00:58:47,901 --> 00:58:50,778
You're going to be a vampire
for a long, long time.
915
00:58:50,862 --> 00:58:52,280
I know.
916
00:58:52,864 --> 00:58:54,741
There's just…
917
00:58:55,200 --> 00:58:57,827
still so much I don't know.
918
00:58:58,745 --> 00:59:00,371
What if I screw up?
919
00:59:00,455 --> 00:59:02,916
What if people find out?
920
00:59:03,833 --> 00:59:07,337
Everybody screws up.
Dead or undead.
921
00:59:07,420 --> 00:59:10,173
People who love you
will always protect you.
922
00:59:10,256 --> 00:59:11,424
Remember that.
923
00:59:12,467 --> 00:59:14,093
I just got used to having you around.
924
00:59:15,553 --> 00:59:17,472
Don't get sentimental on me.
925
00:59:18,223 --> 00:59:20,683
Oh, by the way,
I'm going to need to park my car
926
00:59:20,767 --> 00:59:22,393
for the next century or so.
927
00:59:22,477 --> 00:59:23,895
Do you think you can
look after it for me?
928
00:59:23,978 --> 00:59:25,396
You're kidding.
929
00:59:25,813 --> 00:59:27,649
This is great!
930
00:59:28,024 --> 00:59:30,443
Wait'll Ralph sees this.
931
00:59:31,861 --> 00:59:33,571
The Professor's after Ralph now.
932
00:59:33,655 --> 00:59:35,073
He thinks he's one of us.
933
00:59:35,865 --> 00:59:38,576
Well, it's a rather unsavory trait of man
934
00:59:38,660 --> 00:59:41,287
that whenever he stumbles across
something different,
935
00:59:41,371 --> 00:59:44,749
quite often his first impulse
is to destroy it.
936
00:59:44,832 --> 00:59:46,751
Vampires are like any other minority
937
00:59:46,834 --> 00:59:49,587
that's been persecuted
down through the ages.
938
00:59:49,671 --> 00:59:52,548
Our reputations
are a bit more tarnished than that.
939
00:59:52,632 --> 00:59:56,552
I mean, people think
we're blood-sucking monsters.
940
00:59:57,470 --> 01:00:01,140
I'm afraid a few bad apples
back in the Dark Ages
941
01:00:01,224 --> 01:00:03,559
spoiled it for the rest of us.
942
01:00:03,643 --> 01:00:07,021
Professor McCarthy
is not one to forgive and forget.
943
01:00:07,105 --> 01:00:09,607
What is it with this guy?
What's his problem?
944
01:00:09,691 --> 01:00:12,277
He's quite mad, of course.
945
01:00:12,360 --> 01:00:14,404
But don't be misled.
946
01:00:14,487 --> 01:00:16,656
He poses a very real threat.
947
01:00:16,739 --> 01:00:17,740
What do I do?
948
01:00:19,242 --> 01:00:21,744
You're a vampire, Jeremy.
949
01:00:22,453 --> 01:00:23,871
Use it.
950
01:00:27,709 --> 01:00:32,755
Louis, Jeremy's behavior
is just too peculiar to ignore.
951
01:00:32,839 --> 01:00:35,383
Ralph says he has some problem with girls.
952
01:00:35,466 --> 01:00:36,718
Yes.
953
01:00:36,801 --> 01:00:42,390
And I know I heard a man's voice
up in his room the other night.
954
01:00:43,975 --> 01:00:46,060
The man in the BMW.
955
01:00:48,271 --> 01:00:49,814
Good night.
956
01:00:49,897 --> 01:00:52,567
Jeremy, where are you going?
957
01:00:53,693 --> 01:00:54,777
Out.
958
01:00:54,861 --> 01:00:56,904
You know your father and I are here
959
01:00:56,988 --> 01:01:00,450
to talk about anything
that might be bothering you.
960
01:01:00,533 --> 01:01:02,160
That's great, Mom.
961
01:01:02,243 --> 01:01:03,661
Louis.
962
01:01:03,745 --> 01:01:05,371
Do you have anything you want to tell us?
963
01:01:06,622 --> 01:01:07,874
Just good night.
964
01:01:20,553 --> 01:01:22,889
Where did he get that car?
965
01:01:22,972 --> 01:01:26,392
It's that same artic blue BMW 735.
966
01:01:27,518 --> 01:01:29,645
What does that license plate mean?
967
01:01:48,206 --> 01:01:50,208
You're not getting any of my blood.
968
01:01:51,501 --> 01:01:52,585
Hey!
969
01:01:54,212 --> 01:01:55,505
Go away.
970
01:01:55,588 --> 01:01:58,049
Come on, open up.
I'm not going to hurt you.
971
01:02:04,138 --> 01:02:05,515
Thank you.
972
01:02:08,601 --> 01:02:10,436
That's far enough, Count Dracula.
973
01:02:10,520 --> 01:02:12,730
What— Ralph, will you cut it out?
974
01:02:12,814 --> 01:02:14,440
I had to tell somebody.
975
01:02:14,524 --> 01:02:16,109
Why did it have to be me?
976
01:02:16,192 --> 01:02:18,444
'Cause you're my best friend.
I need you.
977
01:02:18,528 --> 01:02:23,116
Oh, so I can lure young virgins
back to your lair for a midnight snack?
978
01:02:23,199 --> 01:02:25,576
- Not me, pal.
- Don't be a jerk.
979
01:02:26,411 --> 01:02:28,663
This is too much, man.
980
01:02:28,746 --> 01:02:30,081
Ralph, I'm still the same person.
981
01:02:30,164 --> 01:02:31,874
I'm not some monster.
982
01:02:31,958 --> 01:02:34,085
Okay, let me think.
983
01:02:38,673 --> 01:02:41,592
Okay, look,
we're in this thing together, all right?
984
01:02:41,676 --> 01:02:43,719
My lips are sealed.
985
01:02:43,970 --> 01:02:46,305
Just make sure yours stay that way, too.
986
01:02:46,389 --> 01:02:48,516
I don't want to wake up a few pints low.
987
01:02:48,599 --> 01:02:49,934
Great.
988
01:02:52,520 --> 01:02:54,021
So now what do we do?
989
01:02:54,939 --> 01:02:55,815
I don't know.
990
01:03:06,784 --> 01:03:08,161
What are we doing here?
991
01:03:08,244 --> 01:03:10,913
Hey, look, if vampires really have
secret powers over women,
992
01:03:10,997 --> 01:03:12,457
you can't hold out on your best friend.
993
01:03:12,540 --> 01:03:13,875
Look at these girls.
994
01:03:13,958 --> 01:03:15,626
Ralph, I haven't even read this yet.
995
01:03:15,710 --> 01:03:17,295
You'll do fine. Just wing it.
996
01:03:17,378 --> 01:03:19,213
Now look, I'm not choosy, okay?
997
01:03:19,297 --> 01:03:20,506
Tall blonde, skinny brunette…
998
01:03:20,590 --> 01:03:21,674
I'll take anything.
999
01:03:24,802 --> 01:03:27,430
Almost anything.
Come on. Let's go over here.
1000
01:03:29,765 --> 01:03:31,517
- That girl.
- Like her?
1001
01:03:31,601 --> 01:03:35,438
Yeah. Go to it Count Capello.
Do your thing.
1002
01:03:39,859 --> 01:03:42,236
- What a hunk.
- Him?
1003
01:03:42,320 --> 01:03:44,197
That face.
1004
01:03:44,280 --> 01:03:46,407
That body.
1005
01:03:46,491 --> 01:03:49,827
Now he's a walking sex machine.
1006
01:03:55,500 --> 01:03:57,251
Missed by that much.
1007
01:04:00,630 --> 01:04:03,466
My God, it's an entire satanic cult!
1008
01:04:04,300 --> 01:04:06,469
Grimsdyke, you take the back.
Be careful.
1009
01:04:19,607 --> 01:04:21,317
Blonde at the bar.
1010
01:04:21,400 --> 01:04:23,319
Now nothing fancy, okay?
1011
01:04:23,402 --> 01:04:26,197
- A simple love slave will do.
- Love slave.
1012
01:04:28,157 --> 01:04:30,326
One love slave to go.
1013
01:04:33,037 --> 01:04:34,247
Hey, nice glasses.
1014
01:04:34,330 --> 01:04:36,207
Look, is it okay if we go to your place?
1015
01:04:36,290 --> 01:04:39,126
My parents wouldn't understand
all the screaming and moaning
1016
01:04:39,210 --> 01:04:41,546
coming from my bedroom.
1017
01:04:44,048 --> 01:04:46,342
- Well…
- Satisfied?
1018
01:04:48,469 --> 01:04:49,720
Her.
1019
01:04:50,888 --> 01:04:53,099
All right.
If I blow it, you're on your own.
1020
01:04:53,182 --> 01:04:55,268
- You understand?
- Well, just nail her.
1021
01:05:12,034 --> 01:05:13,828
Make me your love slave.
1022
01:05:13,911 --> 01:05:14,996
Oh, my God!
1023
01:05:15,079 --> 01:05:17,206
Get the hell off of me, man.
1024
01:05:20,543 --> 01:05:22,044
Grimsdyke!
1025
01:05:22,670 --> 01:05:24,422
Professor, no!
1026
01:05:28,217 --> 01:05:29,719
Pull yourself together!
1027
01:05:29,802 --> 01:05:31,721
- Ralph!
- Who is that guy, man?
1028
01:05:31,804 --> 01:05:33,180
Come on. Let's get out of here!
1029
01:05:33,264 --> 01:05:34,473
Did you get him?
1030
01:05:39,729 --> 01:05:42,273
Here, hold this.
I'll be right back.
1031
01:05:56,329 --> 01:05:58,706
Don't just sit there, Grimsdyke.
They're getting away.
1032
01:06:00,249 --> 01:06:02,084
Ralph, there's something
I forgot to tell you.
1033
01:06:02,168 --> 01:06:03,044
Yeah?
1034
01:06:03,127 --> 01:06:04,754
Apparently, there's some nutcase
running around
1035
01:06:04,837 --> 01:06:06,839
trying to wipe vampires out of existence.
1036
01:06:06,922 --> 01:06:09,508
He's the guy that broke down the door
and torched the Gardner place.
1037
01:06:09,592 --> 01:06:10,968
Don't worry. I won't let him get to you.
1038
01:06:11,052 --> 01:06:13,679
He's also the guy
that drives the white van.
1039
01:06:13,763 --> 01:06:15,056
The guy that's been following you.
1040
01:06:15,139 --> 01:06:17,642
What are you saying?
That they think I'm a vampire?
1041
01:06:17,725 --> 01:06:20,561
They can't be that stupid.
If they kill me, I'm dust.
1042
01:06:20,645 --> 01:06:22,480
If they kill you, it's murder, right?
1043
01:06:22,563 --> 01:06:25,066
Yeah, great.
Thanks a lot.
1044
01:06:34,742 --> 01:06:36,494
We have to face the facts, honey.
1045
01:06:37,662 --> 01:06:38,871
Our son is gay.
1046
01:06:38,954 --> 01:06:41,499
How do you feel about that?
1047
01:06:42,583 --> 01:06:45,044
I really wanted grandchildren.
1048
01:07:04,814 --> 01:07:06,565
Oh, my God. There he is.
1049
01:07:06,649 --> 01:07:08,567
- She's here, stud.
- What?
1050
01:07:08,651 --> 01:07:10,403
- Where?
- Corner table. Don't look.
1051
01:07:10,528 --> 01:07:11,904
Don't look!
1052
01:07:11,987 --> 01:07:13,531
Don't look.
1053
01:07:17,284 --> 01:07:19,078
This is dumb.
1054
01:07:28,129 --> 01:07:29,130
Hi, Darla.
1055
01:07:29,213 --> 01:07:31,716
- You never give up, do you?
- No.
1056
01:07:31,799 --> 01:07:33,259
Darla, I…
1057
01:07:33,342 --> 01:07:35,970
Look, you're important to me.
Just give me one more chance.
1058
01:07:37,221 --> 01:07:41,767
I don't know, Jeremy.
I like you, but you're so weird.
1059
01:07:41,851 --> 01:07:43,060
He'll freak out on you again.
1060
01:07:43,144 --> 01:07:45,604
I won't freak out. I promise.
1061
01:07:45,688 --> 01:07:47,773
Look, I had some problems before, okay?
1062
01:07:47,857 --> 01:07:49,233
But I'm fine now.
1063
01:07:50,192 --> 01:07:51,777
Don't make me beg.
1064
01:07:51,861 --> 01:07:54,572
- Make him beg.
- I'm begging.
1065
01:07:56,365 --> 01:07:57,450
Shit.
1066
01:07:57,533 --> 01:08:00,035
Don't make any foolhardy attempt
to run away.
1067
01:08:00,119 --> 01:08:03,956
This revolver is pointing at your navel.
It's loaded with silver bullets.
1068
01:08:04,039 --> 01:08:05,958
- Professor, there's a—
- Be quiet.
1069
01:08:06,041 --> 01:08:09,295
You will slowly get up and walk out
to that van parked in the street.
1070
01:08:09,378 --> 01:08:12,006
If you so much as bat an eyelid,
I won't hesitate to use this.
1071
01:08:12,089 --> 01:08:15,259
- Is that clear?
- Perfect. Very.
1072
01:08:15,342 --> 01:08:16,886
Let's go!
1073
01:08:19,180 --> 01:08:22,308
Okay, I'll give you one more chance.
1074
01:08:25,728 --> 01:08:28,147
That wasn't too weird, was it?
1075
01:08:28,230 --> 01:08:31,692
Look, I know you think I'm gonna
go bananas any minute, but I'm not.
1076
01:08:33,235 --> 01:08:34,361
Where's Ralph?
1077
01:08:35,321 --> 01:08:38,824
- He just left with a couple of freaks.
- What?
1078
01:08:39,408 --> 01:08:42,077
That's them over there in that van.
1079
01:08:42,161 --> 01:08:43,621
Come on.
1080
01:08:44,914 --> 01:08:46,832
Wait, don't go.
1081
01:08:56,675 --> 01:08:57,843
Hurry! Get in.
1082
01:08:57,927 --> 01:09:00,429
Are we stealing this car?
1083
01:09:02,765 --> 01:09:05,726
Hey, look.
You guys are making a big mistake here.
1084
01:09:05,810 --> 01:09:07,186
I'm not a vampire.
1085
01:09:07,269 --> 01:09:09,772
I hate the taste of blood.
I hate the sight of blood.
1086
01:09:09,855 --> 01:09:12,775
Professor, maybe he's telling the truth.
1087
01:09:12,858 --> 01:09:14,860
- Yeah.
- Lies, all lies.
1088
01:09:14,944 --> 01:09:15,986
Don't listen, Grimsdyke.
1089
01:09:16,070 --> 01:09:18,906
These bastards will say anything
to protect their black hearts.
1090
01:09:18,989 --> 01:09:20,449
You promised you wouldn't freak out!
1091
01:09:20,533 --> 01:09:21,575
You know that? You promised!
1092
01:09:21,659 --> 01:09:24,328
I'm sorry, Darla, my best friend's
about to be murdered.
1093
01:09:24,411 --> 01:09:26,539
Murdered? By whom?
1094
01:09:26,622 --> 01:09:29,291
It's a long story.
It's really me they should be after.
1095
01:09:29,375 --> 01:09:31,502
What are you talking about?
1096
01:09:31,585 --> 01:09:33,462
Professor McCarthy, he's a maniac.
1097
01:09:33,546 --> 01:09:35,005
He thinks Ralph's a vampire.
1098
01:09:36,715 --> 01:09:37,716
That's crazy.
1099
01:09:37,800 --> 01:09:40,594
Of course, it's crazy.
Ralph's not the vampire.
1100
01:09:41,929 --> 01:09:43,347
I'm the vampire.
1101
01:09:46,934 --> 01:09:48,018
Oh, my God.
1102
01:09:48,102 --> 01:09:49,645
There they are.
1103
01:09:55,067 --> 01:09:58,153
Professor, somebody's following us.
1104
01:09:58,904 --> 01:10:00,531
That's right, pal.
1105
01:10:00,614 --> 01:10:04,451
The FBI, the CIA, the National Guard!
1106
01:10:04,535 --> 01:10:07,955
And when all this over,
my dad is going to kick your ass!
1107
01:10:13,127 --> 01:10:15,504
Evasive action, Grimsdyke.
1108
01:10:15,588 --> 01:10:17,464
Yes, Professor.
1109
01:10:25,890 --> 01:10:27,099
I'm not crazy, okay?
1110
01:10:27,182 --> 01:10:28,934
Whatever you're thinking,
please believe me.
1111
01:10:29,018 --> 01:10:29,977
I need your help.
1112
01:10:30,060 --> 01:10:34,315
Modoc told me someone that really cares
will never let you down.
1113
01:10:34,398 --> 01:10:35,774
Modoc?
1114
01:10:37,401 --> 01:10:40,029
He's-he's my vampire advisor.
1115
01:10:48,245 --> 01:10:49,914
They're gonna kill us!
1116
01:10:54,043 --> 01:10:56,587
Darla, remember what we said
about being different?
1117
01:10:56,670 --> 01:10:59,924
Different, yes. Like being taller
or skinnier or wearing braces.
1118
01:11:00,007 --> 01:11:02,301
Or maybe even being
just a little bit weird.
1119
01:11:02,384 --> 01:11:04,595
But not being a vampire.
1120
01:11:10,768 --> 01:11:13,395
Cops! All right! Hang on, Ralph.
1121
01:11:13,479 --> 01:11:15,814
BMW, license plate NITEMAN.
1122
01:11:15,898 --> 01:11:17,149
Westbound on Allen Parkway.
1123
01:11:17,232 --> 01:11:19,109
Thirty-two X-ray, request assist.
1124
01:11:19,193 --> 01:11:23,238
Roger. All units in vicinity
of Allen Parkway roll to assist 32 X-ray.
1125
01:11:23,322 --> 01:11:25,115
Pursuit of a blue BMW, westbound…
1126
01:11:29,244 --> 01:11:31,580
- Oh, my God!
- Oh! Oh!
1127
01:11:39,213 --> 01:11:40,297
- You okay?
- Stop!
1128
01:11:48,681 --> 01:11:50,057
Hang on, Darla.
1129
01:11:53,519 --> 01:11:54,687
Shit!
1130
01:12:02,569 --> 01:12:03,988
Good work, Grimsdyke.
1131
01:12:04,071 --> 01:12:07,366
It looks like the cavalry's
been cut off at the pass.
1132
01:12:08,742 --> 01:12:10,160
Freeze!
1133
01:12:20,879 --> 01:12:22,089
You kids all right?
1134
01:12:22,172 --> 01:12:23,507
Yeah, I think so.
1135
01:12:23,590 --> 01:12:24,925
We have to stop the white van!
1136
01:12:25,009 --> 01:12:26,510
They're gonna kill Ralph!
1137
01:12:26,593 --> 01:12:28,512
Take it easy, kid.
You're in shock.
1138
01:12:28,595 --> 01:12:30,389
They're gonna murder him.
We have to stop it.
1139
01:12:30,472 --> 01:12:32,766
Relax, son. We'll get you an ambulance.
1140
01:12:32,850 --> 01:12:34,685
Listen to me. They're crazy.
1141
01:12:34,768 --> 01:12:37,563
They're vampire hunters.
They think my friend's a vampire.
1142
01:12:37,646 --> 01:12:40,149
They've kidnapped him
and they're going to kill him.
1143
01:12:41,442 --> 01:12:44,903
Hey, Wally, looks like we've got
another vampire hunter on our hands.
1144
01:12:44,987 --> 01:12:47,281
- Another one?
- See?
1145
01:12:47,364 --> 01:12:50,034
Damn. We better call in
a Code V and get after 'em.
1146
01:12:50,117 --> 01:12:52,036
Come on, kids. Let's get to the car.
1147
01:12:52,119 --> 01:12:53,579
Come on.
1148
01:12:55,956 --> 01:12:57,499
Let's go!
1149
01:12:58,667 --> 01:13:00,335
Come on!
1150
01:13:00,419 --> 01:13:01,545
Hey.
1151
01:13:03,464 --> 01:13:04,757
You can't do this!
1152
01:13:04,840 --> 01:13:07,468
- Yeah, right.
- Sober up, kid.
1153
01:13:07,551 --> 01:13:08,761
Hey!
1154
01:13:12,598 --> 01:13:15,768
Ralph's gonna die and it's all my fault.
1155
01:13:15,851 --> 01:13:17,436
Maybe not.
1156
01:13:20,355 --> 01:13:22,566
I don't believe you're gonna do this.
1157
01:13:22,649 --> 01:13:24,651
You don't believe it?
1158
01:13:29,406 --> 01:13:30,824
Holy shit!
1159
01:13:41,835 --> 01:13:43,295
Come on, hurry up.
1160
01:13:46,465 --> 01:13:49,343
That was great!
I could be falling for you.
1161
01:13:49,426 --> 01:13:51,512
Don't push your luck.
1162
01:13:58,227 --> 01:13:59,561
This is One Adam-12.
1163
01:13:59,645 --> 01:14:02,523
I'd like to put out an APB
on a white Ford van,
1164
01:14:02,606 --> 01:14:05,526
last seen heading north on Henderson Way.
1165
01:14:05,609 --> 01:14:08,278
Oh, and, Mom, if you're listening,
1166
01:14:08,362 --> 01:14:11,532
I'd like to tell you
that this really isn't my fault.
1167
01:14:11,615 --> 01:14:13,826
I had to steal this police car
in order to save Ralph.
1168
01:14:13,909 --> 01:14:15,285
Oh, my God! Let's go!
1169
01:14:15,369 --> 01:14:17,579
Oh, and, Mom,
I'd like you to meet Darla Blake.
1170
01:14:17,663 --> 01:14:19,998
Hello, Mrs. Capello.
1171
01:14:20,082 --> 01:14:21,708
She's great, Mom. You'll love her.
1172
01:14:23,252 --> 01:14:25,420
Hurry up, Louis. Run!
1173
01:14:25,504 --> 01:14:27,756
Our son's in trouble!
1174
01:14:31,510 --> 01:14:33,178
Come on! Where are you, buddy?
1175
01:14:33,262 --> 01:14:34,721
I think they went that way.
1176
01:14:34,805 --> 01:14:36,682
- Where?
- That way.
1177
01:14:39,268 --> 01:14:42,020
Stolen police unit
traveling north on Highway 41.
1178
01:14:42,104 --> 01:14:43,480
Proceed with caution.
1179
01:14:43,564 --> 01:14:45,774
Perpetrator is presumed
armed and dangerous.
1180
01:14:45,858 --> 01:14:48,569
Repeat, perp is presumed
armed and dangerous.
1181
01:14:48,652 --> 01:14:49,862
That's our baby.
1182
01:14:51,488 --> 01:14:52,614
Turn there.
1183
01:15:04,418 --> 01:15:07,337
We'll release the creature's soul
on sanctified ground.
1184
01:15:14,720 --> 01:15:17,431
Come on, you piece of junk!
Haul ass!
1185
01:15:17,514 --> 01:15:19,683
You heard him. Haul ass!
1186
01:15:21,643 --> 01:15:23,228
Hang on, Ralph.
1187
01:15:39,119 --> 01:15:41,121
Grimsdyke, will you stop that?
1188
01:15:42,539 --> 01:15:43,582
Come here.
1189
01:15:47,336 --> 01:15:49,755
- You do this one.
- Me, Professor?
1190
01:15:49,838 --> 01:15:51,256
Yes, you.
1191
01:15:56,887 --> 01:16:00,224
Right. Now, you hit the stake
right in the center.
1192
01:16:00,307 --> 01:16:03,393
Hard enough to drive the shaft
through the ribcage,
1193
01:16:03,477 --> 01:16:07,147
into the chest cavity, piercing the heart.
Go on.
1194
01:16:16,698 --> 01:16:17,699
I can't do it.
1195
01:16:18,617 --> 01:16:21,495
I've never hurt a human being in my life.
1196
01:16:22,871 --> 01:16:23,872
Wait! There it is.
1197
01:16:26,833 --> 01:16:29,419
You spineless creature, Grimsdyke.
1198
01:16:29,503 --> 01:16:30,545
Now I've got to do it myself.
1199
01:16:45,477 --> 01:16:48,939
May God have mercy on your soul.
1200
01:16:49,022 --> 01:16:50,315
Stop!
1201
01:16:52,317 --> 01:16:53,485
Hi.
1202
01:16:54,903 --> 01:16:56,571
I know what this must look like.
1203
01:16:56,655 --> 01:16:58,532
How about attempted murder?
1204
01:16:58,615 --> 01:17:02,202
No, you're mistaken.
We're just performing a little exorcism.
1205
01:17:02,286 --> 01:17:05,247
This is a vile,
disgusting creature of the night.
1206
01:17:05,330 --> 01:17:07,291
A vampire.
1207
01:17:07,374 --> 01:17:08,709
We're the good guys.
1208
01:17:08,792 --> 01:17:12,087
You kill him and you'll fry
for Murder One, pal, guaranteed.
1209
01:17:12,170 --> 01:17:15,173
No way.
There won't even be a corpse.
1210
01:17:15,257 --> 01:17:17,634
He'll crumble to dust
before your very eyes.
1211
01:17:17,718 --> 01:17:19,678
- Watch.
- Wait! Wait! Wait!
1212
01:17:19,761 --> 01:17:22,639
If he is a vampire, that's one thing.
1213
01:17:22,723 --> 01:17:25,309
If he isn't, an innocent guy is dead.
1214
01:17:25,392 --> 01:17:27,269
Yes, yes, yes.
1215
01:17:27,394 --> 01:17:29,146
That's a chance I'm prepared to take.
1216
01:17:29,229 --> 01:17:30,480
Forget it.
1217
01:17:30,564 --> 01:17:32,024
Let's see some proof.
1218
01:17:32,107 --> 01:17:34,985
What's in your little
vampire hunters kit there?
1219
01:17:35,068 --> 01:17:36,778
You have a crucifix, right?
1220
01:17:43,577 --> 01:17:47,080
- Maybe he's a Jewish vampire.
- Right.
1221
01:17:47,164 --> 01:17:48,540
What else have you got?
1222
01:17:51,209 --> 01:17:53,211
String of garlic.
1223
01:17:56,256 --> 01:17:57,966
And you were gonna kill this guy?
1224
01:17:59,259 --> 01:18:00,844
Holy water, right?
1225
01:18:00,927 --> 01:18:03,764
Good idea.
Nothing worse than a dirty vampire.
1226
01:18:03,847 --> 01:18:05,182
And the stake.
1227
01:18:05,265 --> 01:18:07,100
If I kill him
with a stake through the heart,
1228
01:18:07,184 --> 01:18:08,685
he's definitely a vampire.
1229
01:18:08,769 --> 01:18:10,645
A stake through the heart
would kill anything.
1230
01:18:10,729 --> 01:18:13,899
I'm afraid this evidence
wouldn't be too persuasive
1231
01:18:13,982 --> 01:18:16,026
at your murder trial.
1232
01:18:16,109 --> 01:18:17,861
Grimsdyke, you've made a mistake.
1233
01:18:17,944 --> 01:18:19,237
Let him go.
1234
01:18:25,952 --> 01:18:27,537
A mistake?
1235
01:18:27,704 --> 01:18:30,999
That's all? No apology?
1236
01:18:31,083 --> 01:18:32,876
No, "I'm sorry, Ralph?"
1237
01:18:32,959 --> 01:18:34,669
"I beg your pardon, Ralph?"
1238
01:18:34,753 --> 01:18:37,422
"Sorry about that stake
through your heart, Ralph!"
1239
01:18:39,383 --> 01:18:42,177
You sly little bloodsucker, you.
1240
01:18:53,688 --> 01:18:55,816
- Come on!
- The car!
1241
01:18:57,567 --> 01:18:58,985
Ralph, the car…
1242
01:19:07,160 --> 01:19:08,912
Ralph, wait!
1243
01:19:09,871 --> 01:19:11,665
The car is over there.
1244
01:19:11,748 --> 01:19:14,126
- No problem. Follow me.
- Right.
1245
01:19:15,669 --> 01:19:17,504
- Come on!
- Freeze!
1246
01:19:18,630 --> 01:19:20,132
No need to remind you that silver bullets
1247
01:19:20,215 --> 01:19:23,093
serve the same purpose
as a stake through the heart.
1248
01:19:23,176 --> 01:19:24,886
Professor…
1249
01:19:26,346 --> 01:19:29,307
Okay. You have me.
1250
01:19:29,391 --> 01:19:30,976
Let them go.
1251
01:19:31,059 --> 01:19:33,353
They're only innocent bystanders.
1252
01:19:34,729 --> 01:19:37,941
Your heroic plea
has been noted and rejected.
1253
01:19:38,024 --> 01:19:40,694
Do I really think I'll let you kill me?
My friends?
1254
01:19:40,777 --> 01:19:43,363
I don't see how you can prevent it.
1255
01:19:45,490 --> 01:19:48,702
You forget, Professor, I'm a vampire.
1256
01:19:48,785 --> 01:19:51,455
That has certain advantages.
1257
01:19:53,373 --> 01:19:56,460
You've abandoned
your precious tools, Professor.
1258
01:19:56,543 --> 01:19:59,713
You have no crucifix, no garlic,
no holy water.
1259
01:19:59,796 --> 01:20:01,214
Grimsdyke, shoot him!
1260
01:20:02,215 --> 01:20:03,633
I can't!
1261
01:20:03,717 --> 01:20:06,928
Luckily for you, I don't kill people.
1262
01:20:08,138 --> 01:20:10,265
Aren't you gonna drain my blood?
1263
01:20:10,348 --> 01:20:12,309
You sound disappointed.
1264
01:20:12,392 --> 01:20:14,728
No, just surprised.
1265
01:20:14,811 --> 01:20:16,646
Pleasantly surprised.
1266
01:20:20,734 --> 01:20:22,611
Didn't you hear me?
1267
01:20:22,694 --> 01:20:24,821
I'm letting you go.
1268
01:20:24,905 --> 01:20:27,115
I'll never stop coming after you, never!
1269
01:20:27,199 --> 01:20:30,035
Why? What do I have to do, kill you?
1270
01:20:30,118 --> 01:20:31,828
Rip your heart out?
1271
01:20:31,912 --> 01:20:33,205
Do it, Jeremy.
1272
01:20:33,288 --> 01:20:35,749
Let's share a toast with his blood.
1273
01:20:35,832 --> 01:20:37,584
Nora.
1274
01:20:37,667 --> 01:20:39,503
You've returned from the grave.
1275
01:20:39,586 --> 01:20:41,963
Of course. I'm a vampire.
1276
01:20:42,047 --> 01:20:43,632
Who's she?
1277
01:20:43,715 --> 01:20:48,178
Join me, Jeremy,
in a taste of immorality.
1278
01:20:48,261 --> 01:20:50,680
Starting with the professor's blood.
1279
01:20:50,764 --> 01:20:51,890
Well, surely you wouldn't—
1280
01:20:51,973 --> 01:20:53,266
You were eager enough to kill me.
1281
01:20:53,350 --> 01:20:54,851
Oh, that was different.
1282
01:20:54,935 --> 01:20:56,353
Go, Professor.
1283
01:20:56,436 --> 01:20:59,773
You see we're not all the insidious
creatures you'd like to believe.
1284
01:20:59,856 --> 01:21:02,317
All we want is a chance to live in peace
1285
01:21:02,400 --> 01:21:05,487
without worrying about someone
trying to ram a stake through our hearts.
1286
01:21:07,155 --> 01:21:09,324
Bravo, my boy. Bravo.
1287
01:21:11,743 --> 01:21:15,288
I've waited a long time
to get you into my sights, old man.
1288
01:21:17,624 --> 01:21:20,752
My dear professor,
why does it have to be this way?
1289
01:21:20,835 --> 01:21:23,213
When will you understand
that I'm not your enemy?
1290
01:21:27,801 --> 01:21:29,344
Grimsdyke, where'd you get these bullets?
1291
01:21:29,427 --> 01:21:30,303
But, Professor—
1292
01:21:30,387 --> 01:21:33,014
Now I'm gonna have to rip him apart
with my bare hands.
1293
01:21:33,098 --> 01:21:36,518
As you wish. But first,
allow me to introduce some friends.
1294
01:21:48,071 --> 01:21:49,322
This is getting interesting.
1295
01:21:49,406 --> 01:21:51,908
Oh, no. Not that.
1296
01:21:51,992 --> 01:21:54,995
Grimsdyke, what are they gonna do to me?
1297
01:21:55,078 --> 01:21:56,413
Oh, my goodness.
1298
01:21:56,496 --> 01:21:58,373
Grimsdyke, don't let them take me away.
1299
01:21:58,456 --> 01:22:00,625
Grimsdyke!
Don't let them take me away.
1300
01:22:00,709 --> 01:22:03,420
Grimsdyke, help me!
Grimsdyke!
1301
01:22:06,506 --> 01:22:08,091
What'll happen to him?
1302
01:22:09,050 --> 01:22:12,262
What better way to vanquish an enemy
than to make him an ally?
1303
01:22:12,345 --> 01:22:14,472
Help me!
1304
01:22:15,015 --> 01:22:17,017
Hey, are those chicks coming back or what?
1305
01:22:18,685 --> 01:22:20,687
Wait a minute. You were shot.
1306
01:22:20,770 --> 01:22:22,439
With silver bullets.
1307
01:22:22,522 --> 01:22:25,734
Jeremy, once again you're guilty
of not reading your handbook.
1308
01:22:25,817 --> 01:22:31,197
Silver bullets are an effective means
of dispatching werewolves, not vampires.
1309
01:22:31,990 --> 01:22:34,242
I don't even want to get into werewolves.
1310
01:22:34,326 --> 01:22:35,952
Professor…
1311
01:22:37,746 --> 01:22:39,789
What have they done to you?
1312
01:22:40,749 --> 01:22:44,419
Well, this is an ironic turn of events,
isn't it, Grimsdyke?
1313
01:22:44,502 --> 01:22:46,713
What's to become of you?
1314
01:22:46,796 --> 01:22:48,632
I don't know.
1315
01:22:48,715 --> 01:22:52,385
Maybe I'll run with the pack for a while,
see what happens.
1316
01:22:52,469 --> 01:22:54,929
I feel 20 years younger.
1317
01:22:55,055 --> 01:22:56,139
Bye, Grimsdyke.
1318
01:23:05,899 --> 01:23:07,901
I'm afraid that's our signal.
1319
01:23:07,984 --> 01:23:09,569
You're welcome to join us, Jeremy.
1320
01:23:09,653 --> 01:23:12,530
You'd be among friends,
with others like yourself.
1321
01:23:12,614 --> 01:23:13,657
Thanks, Modoc.
1322
01:23:13,740 --> 01:23:15,867
But I have school tomorrow.
1323
01:23:15,950 --> 01:23:19,120
Besides, I have a few friends right here.
1324
01:23:19,204 --> 01:23:21,206
Goodbye, Jeremy.
1325
01:23:21,289 --> 01:23:23,249
Goodbye, Modoc.
1326
01:23:24,834 --> 01:23:27,504
Okay, listen, next time you're in town,
give me a call.
1327
01:23:27,587 --> 01:23:28,963
We'll go out for a drink.
1328
01:23:29,047 --> 01:23:30,840
Bloody Marys.
1329
01:23:34,052 --> 01:23:36,304
Come, children. Away!
1330
01:23:44,396 --> 01:23:47,440
This has been one hell of a night.
1331
01:23:57,534 --> 01:23:59,035
I've gotta read that book.
1332
01:24:36,197 --> 01:24:38,324
Look, Louis! There they are over there!
1333
01:24:38,408 --> 01:24:40,118
Look, honey! Turn around.
1334
01:24:52,172 --> 01:24:53,631
Jeremy?
1335
01:24:54,424 --> 01:24:56,217
Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.
1336
01:24:56,301 --> 01:24:57,552
Son.
1337
01:24:57,677 --> 01:24:59,596
Guess I've got some explaining to do, huh?
1338
01:24:59,679 --> 01:25:03,141
We know that you've been
going through this change lately.
1339
01:25:03,224 --> 01:25:06,186
Wait, you knew?
You knew all along?
1340
01:25:06,311 --> 01:25:07,812
We're not blind, Jeremy.
1341
01:25:07,896 --> 01:25:10,106
We know what's going on in the world.
1342
01:25:10,190 --> 01:25:12,567
We don't want to be part of your problem.
1343
01:25:12,650 --> 01:25:15,320
- Just be happy with who you are.
- Happy.
1344
01:25:15,403 --> 01:25:17,280
Incredible.
1345
01:25:18,698 --> 01:25:22,285
Oh! Mom, Dad, this is Darla Blake.
1346
01:25:22,368 --> 01:25:24,162
She's my new girlfriend.
1347
01:25:25,038 --> 01:25:29,751
Oh. Well, we're very,
very happy to meet you.
1348
01:25:34,214 --> 01:25:35,965
Unbelievable.
89789
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese