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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162
WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
1
00:00:00,362 --> 00:00:03,990
Hey, what do you guys think
of my new ducky tie?
2
00:00:03,991 --> 00:00:05,207
Pretty cute, right?
3
00:00:05,209 --> 00:00:07,860
And not that much more expensive
than a regular tie.
4
00:00:07,862 --> 00:00:09,094
Hmm.
5
00:00:09,096 --> 00:00:10,029
A ducky tie?
6
00:00:10,031 --> 00:00:11,663
Bro, why do you
do this
7
00:00:11,665 --> 00:00:14,166
when you know I must
slam you for it?
8
00:00:14,168 --> 00:00:16,118
You guys might
want to look away
9
00:00:16,120 --> 00:00:18,153
'cause this ain't
gonna be pretty.
10
00:00:18,972 --> 00:00:20,389
You ready?
11
00:00:20,391 --> 00:00:23,525
Duck, duck... gross.
12
00:00:24,144 --> 00:00:25,477
Hashtag burn,
13
00:00:25,479 --> 00:00:27,179
hashtag duck tie slam,
14
00:00:27,181 --> 00:00:29,031
hashtag Stinson rocks.
15
00:00:29,033 --> 00:00:30,315
What else is going on?
16
00:00:30,317 --> 00:00:32,868
Oh, guess who
I ran into.
17
00:00:32,870 --> 00:00:34,820
A girl from my past.
18
00:00:34,822 --> 00:00:35,988
Any guesses?
19
00:00:35,990 --> 00:00:37,156
- Stella.
- Zoe.
20
00:00:37,158 --> 00:00:38,791
- Karen?
- The girl who beat you up.
21
00:00:38,793 --> 00:00:40,192
The girl who ruined
a photo with Slash!
22
00:00:40,194 --> 00:00:41,593
The girl who made you get
the butterfly tattoo?
23
00:00:41,595 --> 00:00:43,245
You make it sound
like I've dated
24
00:00:43,247 --> 00:00:45,047
a series of Stieg Larrson
novels.
25
00:00:45,049 --> 00:00:46,949
Perhaps I need to be
a little more specific.
26
00:00:46,951 --> 00:00:49,334
I met this girl at a wedding.
27
00:00:49,336 --> 00:00:52,805
We were together for a while,but then she moved to Germany.
28
00:00:52,807 --> 00:00:56,258
We decided to try longdistance, but it didn't work
29
00:00:56,260 --> 00:00:59,895
because I cheated on her withsomeone at this very table.
30
00:00:59,897 --> 00:01:01,096
Victoria.
31
00:01:01,098 --> 00:01:02,681
Victoria!
32
00:01:02,683 --> 00:01:05,517
She catered dessert
for the Architects' Ball.
33
00:01:05,519 --> 00:01:08,237
Wow. I mean, what's it been,
like, what, six years?
34
00:01:08,239 --> 00:01:10,906
Yeah, it's so funny how
the past...
35
00:01:10,908 --> 00:01:12,557
you know, you think
36
00:01:12,559 --> 00:01:14,159
you're doing fine,
but you know,
37
00:01:14,161 --> 00:01:16,111
because true love...
God, Lily!
38
00:01:16,113 --> 00:01:18,497
What on Earth is going on
with your cans?
39
00:01:18,499 --> 00:01:19,898
Oh, these old things?
40
00:01:19,900 --> 00:01:22,901
I got my
pregnancy boobs!
41
00:01:22,903 --> 00:01:24,069
I'm in that sweet spot
42
00:01:24,071 --> 00:01:25,788
where the chestal area
knows I'm pregnant,
43
00:01:25,790 --> 00:01:28,040
but hasn't told the
downstairs neighbors.
44
00:01:28,042 --> 00:01:29,675
Well, what are you
waiting for, Lil?
45
00:01:29,677 --> 00:01:31,743
Bust 'em out!
Make 'em dance!
46
00:01:31,745 --> 00:01:32,511
No!
47
00:01:32,513 --> 00:01:36,098
♪ Let your boobies show! ♪
48
00:01:36,100 --> 00:01:38,784
Okay, I'm sorry, pal,
49
00:01:38,786 --> 00:01:41,386
but the party in my wife's
sweater is a private event,
50
00:01:41,388 --> 00:01:42,387
and I'm the bouncer.
51
00:01:42,389 --> 00:01:44,223
Dude, I think they's
the bouncers.
52
00:01:44,225 --> 00:01:48,426
Okay, can we stop talking about
my wife's breasts, please?
53
00:01:48,428 --> 00:01:49,928
Ted ran into Victoria!
54
00:01:49,930 --> 00:01:51,780
I know, I'm still
a little shaken by it.
55
00:01:51,782 --> 00:01:54,116
I mean, there she was
after all these years.
56
00:01:54,118 --> 00:01:56,601
The emotions and memories and...
57
00:01:56,603 --> 00:01:59,655
Geez, Lily, it's like you have
a butt on your chest.
58
00:02:00,607 --> 00:02:01,657
Whoo-whoo-whoo!
59
00:02:01,682 --> 00:02:05,682
♪ How I Met Your Mother 7x03 ♪
Ducky Tie
Original Air Date on September 26, 2011
60
00:02:05,683 --> 00:02:09,683
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
61
00:02:09,708 --> 00:02:14,005
♪
62
00:02:17,710 --> 00:02:20,276
Why on Earth would
I want to see that?
63
00:02:20,277 --> 00:02:22,144
They're round
and attached to my body.
64
00:02:22,146 --> 00:02:23,528
It's an even trade.
65
00:02:23,530 --> 00:02:25,647
Okay, who wants dinner?
(sneezes)
66
00:02:25,649 --> 00:02:27,532
Bless you.
Let's go to Shinjitsu.
67
00:02:27,534 --> 00:02:28,951
Aw, again? Really?
68
00:02:28,953 --> 00:02:30,819
You bring that up,
like, once a month.
69
00:02:30,821 --> 00:02:32,704
It's hibachi grilling
with a vaudeville twist.
70
00:02:32,706 --> 00:02:33,939
I mean, come on, who's in?
71
00:02:33,941 --> 00:02:34,973
(Ted, Lily & Robin
murmur approval)
72
00:02:34,975 --> 00:02:37,075
No! Forget it!
73
00:02:37,077 --> 00:02:38,460
Okay, how about this:
74
00:02:38,462 --> 00:02:40,963
if you can go ten seconds
without looking at Lily's boobs,
75
00:02:40,965 --> 00:02:42,881
we'll go wherever
you want to go.
76
00:02:42,883 --> 00:02:46,168
(scoffs) Deal.
77
00:02:51,190 --> 00:02:52,190
Damn it!
78
00:02:52,192 --> 00:02:54,059
Oh, well.
79
00:02:54,061 --> 00:02:57,179
So you saw Victoria.
80
00:02:57,181 --> 00:02:58,930
You must have
been freaked.
81
00:02:58,932 --> 00:03:01,233
No, it was cool.
82
00:03:02,885 --> 00:03:04,519
Hey, Ted.
83
00:03:04,521 --> 00:03:07,039
Hey, kiddo.
84
00:03:07,041 --> 00:03:10,942
Okay, Ted, 'cause from
where I was standing...
85
00:03:24,924 --> 00:03:26,758
Robin! Just... okay?
86
00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:29,594
I'm telling this story.
87
00:03:29,596 --> 00:03:33,015
Instead of the obligatory
awkward small talk,
88
00:03:33,017 --> 00:03:34,766
let me just kick this off
89
00:03:34,768 --> 00:03:39,054
by saying I'm
really, really sorry.
90
00:03:39,056 --> 00:03:44,092
Thanks. It's unnecessary,
but thanks.
91
00:03:44,094 --> 00:03:46,695
So, wasn't awkward.
92
00:03:46,697 --> 00:03:48,313
- It was a little awkward.
- Not really.
93
00:03:48,315 --> 00:03:50,449
It was a little awkward.
94
00:03:50,451 --> 00:03:53,935
Lucky for you, the cavalry rode
in to smooth things over.
95
00:03:53,937 --> 00:03:57,322
So, uh...
96
00:03:57,324 --> 00:03:59,624
I stole your boyfriend!
97
00:03:59,626 --> 00:04:02,127
That was, like, crazy!
98
00:04:02,129 --> 00:04:03,295
Like, what?!
99
00:04:03,297 --> 00:04:07,249
But... bridge, water under it.
100
00:04:07,251 --> 00:04:09,418
It was all Ted's fault.
He got me drunk.
101
00:04:09,420 --> 00:04:11,586
What?
Yeah! Be right there.
102
00:04:12,455 --> 00:04:16,007
Oh, guess who's here? Robin.
103
00:04:16,009 --> 00:04:19,061
Oh. I'm really happy
for you guys.
104
00:04:19,063 --> 00:04:20,178
You look cute together.
105
00:04:20,180 --> 00:04:21,963
Oh, no, no, we're not together.
106
00:04:21,965 --> 00:04:24,099
I mean, we-we dated
for, like, a year.
107
00:04:24,101 --> 00:04:25,650
But now we're just friends.
108
00:04:25,652 --> 00:04:27,152
It's not weird.
109
00:04:27,154 --> 00:04:28,987
No, no. Why would that be weird?
110
00:04:28,989 --> 00:04:31,273
I mean, if you hung out
every day, that would...
111
00:04:31,275 --> 00:04:32,474
We do.
112
00:04:32,476 --> 00:04:34,025
...still not be weird.
113
00:04:34,027 --> 00:04:35,143
I've never
known anybody
114
00:04:35,145 --> 00:04:36,661
that hangs out with their ex
every day.
115
00:04:36,663 --> 00:04:37,812
Well, Barney does.
116
00:04:37,814 --> 00:04:39,831
Really?
Who's Barney's ex-girlfriend?
117
00:04:39,833 --> 00:04:40,782
Robin.
118
00:04:40,784 --> 00:04:42,150
Your Robin?
119
00:04:42,152 --> 00:04:44,035
Mine and Barney's.
120
00:04:44,037 --> 00:04:47,005
You don't all three hang out
together?
121
00:04:47,007 --> 00:04:47,873
All the time.
122
00:04:47,875 --> 00:04:50,642
And we have weird.
123
00:04:50,644 --> 00:04:52,043
It's not weird!
124
00:04:52,045 --> 00:04:54,379
Has anyone gotten
a bite yet?
125
00:04:54,381 --> 00:04:55,964
Oh, good!
Here we go!
126
00:04:55,966 --> 00:04:57,332
The main event.
127
00:04:57,334 --> 00:04:59,050
Oh, we got Takumi.
He is good!
128
00:04:59,052 --> 00:05:00,385
I mean, who am
I kidding?
129
00:05:00,387 --> 00:05:01,386
They're all amazing!
130
00:05:01,388 --> 00:05:02,854
Let the dinnertainment begin!
131
00:05:04,774 --> 00:05:06,608
Oh, that reminds me,
132
00:05:06,610 --> 00:05:09,194
there's this other restaurant
we should try sometime.
133
00:05:09,196 --> 00:05:12,514
What they do is, they cook
your meal in a little room
134
00:05:12,516 --> 00:05:13,681
called a "kitchen."
135
00:05:13,683 --> 00:05:15,033
What's the name of that...?
136
00:05:15,035 --> 00:05:18,286
Oh, yeah! "Every Other
Restaurant In New York City."
137
00:05:18,288 --> 00:05:21,990
Hashtag burn, hashtag
Your Tie Is Still Dumb,
138
00:05:21,992 --> 00:05:24,509
hashtag refill!
139
00:05:26,379 --> 00:05:28,013
So you're talking to Victoria.
140
00:05:28,015 --> 00:05:29,798
I'm talking to Victoria.
141
00:05:29,800 --> 00:05:32,200
Well, I should probably
get back to the bakery.
142
00:05:32,202 --> 00:05:34,553
I'm taking a late bus out
to the Hamptons tonight,
143
00:05:34,555 --> 00:05:36,254
and I've got a sink full
of dishes
144
00:05:36,256 --> 00:05:38,340
that my assistant did not clean.
145
00:05:38,342 --> 00:05:40,708
Because my assistant is me.
146
00:05:40,710 --> 00:05:43,545
But it was really good seeing
you, Ted.
147
00:05:43,547 --> 00:05:45,713
- Yeah, you, too.
- Okay.
148
00:05:46,933 --> 00:05:48,733
Wait.
149
00:05:48,735 --> 00:05:50,652
Let me do the dishes.
150
00:05:50,654 --> 00:05:51,553
What?
151
00:05:51,555 --> 00:05:54,189
Victoria,
do you believe in fate?
152
00:05:54,191 --> 00:05:56,725
I believe you're about
to give a big speech on fate.
153
00:05:56,727 --> 00:05:57,993
Well, I do.
154
00:05:57,995 --> 00:06:01,112
And I think when two people like
you and me randomly bump
155
00:06:01,114 --> 00:06:03,064
into each other,
it means something.
156
00:06:03,066 --> 00:06:05,584
I have to make amends
for what I did.
157
00:06:05,586 --> 00:06:08,403
Look, I can't undo what I did
six years ago, but...
158
00:06:08,405 --> 00:06:11,706
I can wash dishes.
159
00:06:11,708 --> 00:06:13,575
It's actually something
I'm good at.
160
00:06:13,577 --> 00:06:15,043
Ted...
161
00:06:15,045 --> 00:06:18,413
I swear to you
I am not trying anything.
162
00:06:18,415 --> 00:06:20,298
♪ I said, bang, bang,
bangity-bang ♪
163
00:06:20,300 --> 00:06:22,083
♪ I said a bang, bang,
bangity-bang. ♪
164
00:06:22,085 --> 00:06:25,020
Guys, guys! Shut up!
165
00:06:25,022 --> 00:06:27,222
Give the artist
a little respect!
166
00:06:27,224 --> 00:06:29,808
Sir, I apologize for that,
167
00:06:29,810 --> 00:06:32,227
and for what
I'm about to say.
168
00:06:32,229 --> 00:06:34,563
Here's my impression
of this guy.
169
00:06:34,565 --> 00:06:35,981
(guttural): Uh! Ooh!
170
00:06:35,983 --> 00:06:37,699
Uh! Uh!
171
00:06:37,701 --> 00:06:40,569
Welcome to Shinjitsu! Uh!
172
00:06:40,571 --> 00:06:44,322
I used to be a night manager
at Dairy Queen! Brr!
173
00:06:44,324 --> 00:06:45,607
Anyone can do that.
174
00:06:45,609 --> 00:06:47,459
Oh really? Then why
don't you do it, Barney?
175
00:06:47,461 --> 00:06:50,161
Show us all the tricks
if they're so easy.
176
00:06:50,163 --> 00:06:51,713
Show us the onion volcano,
177
00:06:51,715 --> 00:06:53,131
the fried rice
beating heart,
178
00:06:53,133 --> 00:06:54,583
the shrimp in the pocket.
179
00:06:54,585 --> 00:06:58,670
I bet Ted showed Victoria
the shrimp in his pocket.
180
00:06:58,672 --> 00:07:00,005
Shrimp? Really?
181
00:07:00,007 --> 00:07:01,573
Okay, I'll do all
182
00:07:01,575 --> 00:07:03,625
those things. You just name
the time and the place.
183
00:07:03,627 --> 00:07:05,510
Okay, right here
after we eat.
184
00:07:05,512 --> 00:07:06,628
And what do I get if I do?
185
00:07:06,630 --> 00:07:07,596
What do you want?
186
00:07:07,598 --> 00:07:08,480
I want to touch Lily's boobs.
187
00:07:08,482 --> 00:07:09,848
Deal!
188
00:07:09,850 --> 00:07:10,798
Hey, sweetie?
189
00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:12,417
Yeah, I heard.
190
00:07:13,319 --> 00:07:16,571
Okay, Barney, you want
to make this real?
191
00:07:16,573 --> 00:07:17,989
Let's make this real.
192
00:07:17,991 --> 00:07:20,909
Terms: If you can do
all that stuff
193
00:07:20,911 --> 00:07:22,193
that Marshall just listed off,
194
00:07:22,195 --> 00:07:23,978
I will let
you touch one boob.
195
00:07:23,980 --> 00:07:24,812
Both boobs.
196
00:07:24,814 --> 00:07:25,647
Just one.
197
00:07:25,649 --> 00:07:26,448
Touch and squeeze.
198
00:07:26,450 --> 00:07:27,115
Just touch.
199
00:07:27,117 --> 00:07:28,083
Touch and motorboat.
200
00:07:28,085 --> 00:07:28,783
Just touch.
201
00:07:28,785 --> 00:07:29,701
- Honka honka?
- Barney.
202
00:07:29,703 --> 00:07:30,835
Just touch.
Just touch.
203
00:07:30,837 --> 00:07:32,504
For one hour.
For one second.
204
00:07:32,506 --> 00:07:33,821
20 minutes, both boobs.
205
00:07:33,823 --> 00:07:35,173
Thirty seconds, one boob.
206
00:07:35,175 --> 00:07:37,542
Four minutes, both boobs,
three squeezes.
207
00:07:37,544 --> 00:07:39,657
One minute, both boobs,
one squeeze.
208
00:07:39,658 --> 00:07:40,442
Deal!
209
00:07:40,447 --> 00:07:43,665
But... if you can't do
everything
210
00:07:43,667 --> 00:07:45,100
and I mean everything,
211
00:07:45,102 --> 00:07:49,437
then you have to wear
Marshall's ducky tie...
212
00:07:49,439 --> 00:07:51,072
for one year.
213
00:07:51,074 --> 00:07:53,825
BOTH: Ooh...
214
00:07:54,794 --> 00:07:55,994
Deal.
215
00:08:00,349 --> 00:08:02,517
So you get to the bakery.
216
00:08:02,519 --> 00:08:04,402
We get to the bakery.
217
00:08:04,404 --> 00:08:06,488
Well, this is great.
218
00:08:06,490 --> 00:08:08,156
You know what else
is getting clean
219
00:08:08,158 --> 00:08:09,541
along with this
cupcake tray?
220
00:08:09,543 --> 00:08:11,192
My conscience.
221
00:08:11,194 --> 00:08:13,378
You got anything else
you need to atone for?
222
00:08:13,380 --> 00:08:14,696
My oven needs cleaning.
223
00:08:14,698 --> 00:08:17,415
Un, no, nothing else.
224
00:08:18,367 --> 00:08:20,018
Not yet anyway.
225
00:08:21,203 --> 00:08:24,422
♪ Bang, bang, bangity-bang,
said a bang-bang-bangity. ♪
226
00:08:24,424 --> 00:08:26,274
I'm getting married.
227
00:08:29,195 --> 00:08:30,695
Bang.
228
00:08:36,448 --> 00:08:38,546
Baby, I think I got yours.
This one has no booze.
229
00:08:38,547 --> 00:08:39,412
Oh, no, that's mine.
230
00:08:39,414 --> 00:08:40,714
Yeah, I don't know
231
00:08:40,716 --> 00:08:43,032
why people think
that Mai Tais need booze.
232
00:08:43,034 --> 00:08:44,384
I've been drinking virgins
all night,
233
00:08:44,386 --> 00:08:45,385
and they're delicious.
234
00:08:45,387 --> 00:08:47,387
Yeah, well, enjoy
your Mai Tai
235
00:08:47,389 --> 00:08:52,225
because as of tomorrow night,
you'll be wearing my tie.
236
00:08:52,227 --> 00:08:54,127
Our future child
is so lucky.
237
00:08:54,129 --> 00:08:56,846
Wait. You're not drunk?
238
00:08:56,848 --> 00:09:00,934
Huh. I guess not.
239
00:09:00,936 --> 00:09:02,352
(gasps) It's a hustle!
240
00:09:02,354 --> 00:09:03,436
We gettin' hustled!
241
00:09:03,438 --> 00:09:05,355
Oh, this stinks.
242
00:09:05,357 --> 00:09:06,856
This stinks to holy hell!
243
00:09:06,858 --> 00:09:08,575
He's gonna win the bet!
244
00:09:08,577 --> 00:09:11,828
Baby, come on. Even if he was
sober as a nun,
245
00:09:11,830 --> 00:09:14,063
there's no way he could do what
these guys do.
246
00:09:14,065 --> 00:09:18,401
Exactly. I mean, to learn
the trademark secrets
247
00:09:18,403 --> 00:09:19,536
of Shinjitsu hibachi cooking,
248
00:09:19,538 --> 00:09:22,572
one would have to go
all the way...
249
00:09:22,574 --> 00:09:24,741
to Hoboken, New Jersey.
250
00:09:24,743 --> 00:09:27,744
Yeah, they have a school there.
251
00:09:27,746 --> 00:09:29,879
It's a six-month course.
They teach you everything.
252
00:09:29,881 --> 00:09:30,964
How do you know that?
253
00:09:30,966 --> 00:09:33,433
Maybe I looked it up
on my phone just now.
254
00:09:33,968 --> 00:09:37,137
Then again, maybe not.
255
00:09:43,277 --> 00:09:44,944
So Victoria's getting married.
256
00:09:44,946 --> 00:09:46,596
She's getting married.
257
00:09:46,598 --> 00:09:49,766
I'm sorry. I should have
told you that way earlier.
258
00:09:49,768 --> 00:09:51,117
No, no, it's fine.
259
00:09:51,119 --> 00:09:52,986
You thought something
was gonna happen.
260
00:09:52,988 --> 00:09:54,537
Like one percent.
261
00:09:54,539 --> 00:09:56,539
Maybe slap on a ring next time.
262
00:09:56,541 --> 00:09:58,608
Well, the problem is,
he hasn't asked me yet.
263
00:09:58,610 --> 00:10:01,277
I found the ring in a box
in his sock drawer.
264
00:10:01,279 --> 00:10:04,714
Wow! Guy's got a whole drawer
just for socks?
265
00:10:04,716 --> 00:10:06,299
Must be nice.
266
00:10:07,234 --> 00:10:09,919
So when's Money Bags
popping the question?
267
00:10:09,921 --> 00:10:11,221
I'm pretty sure tomorrow.
268
00:10:11,223 --> 00:10:12,388
He's taking me out
269
00:10:12,390 --> 00:10:14,957
to a really nice restaurant out
in the Hamptons.
270
00:10:14,959 --> 00:10:16,810
It's right on the water,
271
00:10:16,812 --> 00:10:21,631
so afterwards we'll take a walk
on the beach in the moonlight.
272
00:10:21,633 --> 00:10:23,466
You should probably go.
273
00:10:23,468 --> 00:10:25,535
I don't know.
It sounds pretty intimate.
274
00:10:25,537 --> 00:10:26,786
(dry chuckle)
275
00:10:27,688 --> 00:10:29,972
I'm serious. I feel
like I misled you.
276
00:10:29,974 --> 00:10:34,310
Madam, I came here
to wash your dishes.
277
00:10:34,312 --> 00:10:35,612
Nothing more.
278
00:10:36,580 --> 00:10:38,314
- Whoa! What was that!?
- What was what?
279
00:10:38,316 --> 00:10:41,000
This guy and Barney
just shared a look!
280
00:10:41,002 --> 00:10:42,285
Do you know him?
281
00:10:45,840 --> 00:10:48,041
(gasps) They did it again!
282
00:10:48,043 --> 00:10:50,043
This whole thing stinks,
I tells ya!
283
00:10:50,045 --> 00:10:51,494
It stinks!
284
00:10:51,496 --> 00:10:55,682
Lily, are you really suggesting
that Barney spent six months
285
00:10:55,684 --> 00:10:58,101
commuting back and forth
to Hoboken
286
00:10:58,103 --> 00:11:00,587
to learn a signature cooking
style of a restaurant
287
00:11:00,589 --> 00:11:03,156
he doesn't even like
so he could win a bet
288
00:11:03,158 --> 00:11:04,858
he hadn't even made yet?
289
00:11:04,860 --> 00:11:06,860
Yeah, the whole thing stinks.
290
00:11:06,862 --> 00:11:09,112
No, it's not possible, okay?
291
00:11:09,114 --> 00:11:11,180
I was the one who said
let's go to Shinjitsu...
292
00:11:11,182 --> 00:11:12,782
(Barney sneezes)
Bless you.
293
00:11:12,784 --> 00:11:14,951
How could Barney have...
294
00:11:19,874 --> 00:11:21,825
You brilliant bastard.
295
00:11:21,827 --> 00:11:23,543
It's all so obvious now.
296
00:11:23,545 --> 00:11:25,795
For the past, oh, I don't
know how long, five years,
297
00:11:25,797 --> 00:11:27,831
every time I've said,
"Let's go to Shinjitsu""
298
00:11:27,833 --> 00:11:28,915
(sneezes)
Bless you.
299
00:11:28,917 --> 00:11:32,051
You've sneezed.
300
00:11:32,053 --> 00:11:33,369
Every time.
301
00:11:33,371 --> 00:11:34,954
MARSHALL:
And little by little...
302
00:11:34,956 --> 00:11:36,589
Let's go to Shinjitsu.
303
00:11:36,591 --> 00:11:38,541
(sneezes)
Bless you. Bless you.
304
00:11:38,543 --> 00:11:41,711
...you forged the associationin my brain.
305
00:11:41,713 --> 00:11:43,029
So what should we do for dinner?
306
00:11:43,031 --> 00:11:44,547
Let's go to Shinjitsu.
(sneezes)
307
00:11:44,549 --> 00:11:45,815
Oh, bless you.
Thanks.
308
00:11:45,817 --> 00:11:47,734
MARSHALL:
Until eventually...
309
00:11:47,736 --> 00:11:50,186
Yes, I know I said that
we'd be back Sunday,
310
00:11:50,188 --> 00:11:51,988
but guess what?
We are back now!
311
00:11:51,990 --> 00:11:53,055
Now what on earth...
312
00:11:53,057 --> 00:11:54,440
Stop bouncing!
What on earth
313
00:11:54,442 --> 00:11:56,225
would make you think that
we'd be okay with this?
314
00:11:56,227 --> 00:11:59,012
(sneezes)
Let's go to Shinjitsu.
315
00:11:59,014 --> 00:12:00,914
When you were sick
for a week last year,
316
00:12:00,916 --> 00:12:03,199
I had Shinjitsu
like six times.
317
00:12:03,951 --> 00:12:05,285
You had the knife skills...
318
00:12:05,903 --> 00:12:07,871
you had the trigger...
319
00:12:07,873 --> 00:12:11,124
All you needed then was
to want something from me.
320
00:12:11,126 --> 00:12:15,178
And then one day... those
somethings came a-busting out.
321
00:12:15,180 --> 00:12:17,297
Wapowng!
322
00:12:17,299 --> 00:12:19,299
I am gonna have
to walk this earth,
323
00:12:19,301 --> 00:12:22,418
knowing Barney has
touched my boobs.
324
00:12:22,420 --> 00:12:24,420
Yeah. It stays with you.
325
00:12:24,422 --> 00:12:27,090
His email reminders don't help.
326
00:12:27,092 --> 00:12:28,808
Okay, Lily, this is ridiculous.
327
00:12:28,810 --> 00:12:30,560
If you want to
call the bet off...
328
00:12:30,562 --> 00:12:31,778
Great! The bet's off!
329
00:12:31,780 --> 00:12:33,329
Let me finish.
330
00:12:33,331 --> 00:12:36,933
Here's the deal: If
you let me just see them--
331
00:12:36,935 --> 00:12:39,118
no touching, just looking--
for one minute...
332
00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:40,653
30 seconds.
For 30 seconds,
333
00:12:40,655 --> 00:12:42,104
in a well-lit
photography studio...
334
00:12:42,106 --> 00:12:43,907
- In the alley.
- In the alley...
335
00:12:43,909 --> 00:12:45,491
then we'll cancel this
entire wager completely.
336
00:12:45,493 --> 00:12:46,826
Do we have a deal?
337
00:12:48,278 --> 00:12:49,746
I totally think you
should take the deal.
338
00:12:49,748 --> 00:12:51,280
MARSHALL:
I don't think we have a choice.
339
00:12:51,282 --> 00:12:52,465
Go on, take the deal.
340
00:12:52,467 --> 00:12:54,584
I'll... think about it.
341
00:12:57,638 --> 00:12:59,005
So you're doing the dishes...
342
00:12:59,007 --> 00:13:00,340
I'm doing the dishes.
343
00:13:00,342 --> 00:13:02,392
All done.
344
00:13:02,394 --> 00:13:03,676
Congratulations.
345
00:13:03,678 --> 00:13:07,129
Your karmic slate is
clean and lemony fresh.
346
00:13:07,131 --> 00:13:09,131
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
347
00:13:09,133 --> 00:13:11,484
See, now I can start anew,
348
00:13:11,486 --> 00:13:14,354
and hopefully end up as
happy as you and, uh...
349
00:13:14,356 --> 00:13:15,605
Sorry, what's his name?
350
00:13:15,607 --> 00:13:17,657
- Whose name?
- Your fiancé-to-be.
351
00:13:17,659 --> 00:13:19,275
Oh! His name is Klaus.
352
00:13:19,277 --> 00:13:21,394
- Klaus.
- Klaus.
353
00:13:21,396 --> 00:13:22,645
German name.
354
00:13:22,647 --> 00:13:25,381
- Yeah, German guy.
- Hmm.
355
00:13:25,383 --> 00:13:27,867
When you were
living in Germany,
356
00:13:27,869 --> 00:13:30,003
and we were doing the whole
long-distance thing...
357
00:13:30,005 --> 00:13:31,754
wasn't there a Klaus
in your class?
358
00:13:31,756 --> 00:13:33,039
There was a Klaus in my class.
359
00:13:33,041 --> 00:13:35,324
- And you and Klaus were close.
- Not that close.
360
00:13:35,326 --> 00:13:37,593
Yes, yes, you and the Klaus from
your class were quite close.
361
00:13:37,595 --> 00:13:38,678
Kind of close.
362
00:13:38,680 --> 00:13:40,813
- Was that your Klaus?
- My Klaus?
363
00:13:40,815 --> 00:13:42,115
- In your class.
- In my class?
364
00:13:42,117 --> 00:13:44,417
Is your Klaus the kind of
close Klaus from your class?
365
00:13:44,419 --> 00:13:45,852
Yes.
366
00:13:48,022 --> 00:13:50,172
You didn't cheat on me
with Klaus, did you?
367
00:13:50,174 --> 00:13:52,508
- No. No, I did not.
- Mm.
368
00:13:52,510 --> 00:13:53,860
Okay, new question.
369
00:13:53,862 --> 00:13:56,062
After we broke up,
how long were you single
370
00:13:56,064 --> 00:13:58,314
before you and Klaus
started dating?
371
00:13:58,316 --> 00:14:02,368
Oh, how long... um, well,
we broke up in April, so...
372
00:14:02,370 --> 00:14:04,203
a day and a half.
373
00:14:04,205 --> 00:14:08,574
Oh, you have got
to be kidding me!
374
00:14:08,576 --> 00:14:09,792
I'm sorry.
375
00:14:09,794 --> 00:14:11,961
So I've spent the last
six years feeling like
376
00:14:11,963 --> 00:14:15,698
I completely betrayed you,
when in truth, you...
377
00:14:15,700 --> 00:14:17,884
No, you know what?
378
00:14:19,753 --> 00:14:21,387
(gasps)
379
00:14:21,389 --> 00:14:22,872
Okay. Fine.
380
00:14:22,874 --> 00:14:25,641
Just let yourself off the hook
on a technicality!
381
00:14:25,643 --> 00:14:27,844
Forget the fact that
you did cheat on me!
382
00:14:27,846 --> 00:14:31,597
Forget it? I will
never forget it. Okay?
383
00:14:31,599 --> 00:14:32,982
I will never stop regretting it,
384
00:14:32,984 --> 00:14:34,851
because what we had
meant that much to me!
385
00:14:34,853 --> 00:14:37,219
I just... I wish it had meant
something to you, too.
386
00:14:37,221 --> 00:14:38,554
Are you kidding?
387
00:14:38,556 --> 00:14:40,623
- I loved you!
- Did you?
388
00:14:40,625 --> 00:14:42,108
Yes.
389
00:14:42,110 --> 00:14:47,730
We had such an amazing
time together.
390
00:14:47,732 --> 00:14:48,915
Do you remember that night
391
00:14:48,917 --> 00:14:50,400
we found that crazy
videotape of Barney?
392
00:14:50,402 --> 00:14:52,869
Game night.
393
00:14:52,871 --> 00:14:54,537
We played that ridiculous
game Marshall invented.
394
00:14:54,539 --> 00:14:56,072
- Marshgammon.
- Yeah.
395
00:14:56,074 --> 00:14:58,408
We've played it a few times
since. I still don't get it.
396
00:14:58,410 --> 00:14:59,876
Remember the night we met?
397
00:14:59,878 --> 00:15:02,795
I remember you not
letting me kiss you.
398
00:15:02,797 --> 00:15:04,414
Remember why?
399
00:15:04,416 --> 00:15:06,432
You had this ridiculous idea
400
00:15:06,434 --> 00:15:08,351
that the moment leading
up to the kiss...
401
00:15:08,353 --> 00:15:09,302
The drum roll.
402
00:15:09,304 --> 00:15:11,637
...is as good as
the kiss itself.
403
00:15:11,639 --> 00:15:13,222
Isn't it?
404
00:15:13,224 --> 00:15:15,141
Well, it's certainly
more innocent.
405
00:15:15,143 --> 00:15:16,526
It's completely harmless.
406
00:15:16,528 --> 00:15:18,394
Completely.
407
00:15:32,268 --> 00:15:33,468
- Oh, my God!
- Oh no.
408
00:15:33,470 --> 00:15:34,987
No, no-no-no-no-no.
409
00:15:34,989 --> 00:15:37,139
- I should not have done that.
- No, that was me.
410
00:15:37,141 --> 00:15:40,108
I let you come wash my dishes!
411
00:15:40,110 --> 00:15:41,777
I said my "oven"
needed "cleaning"!
412
00:15:41,779 --> 00:15:43,845
I invited you into a porno!
413
00:15:43,847 --> 00:15:45,197
No.
414
00:15:45,199 --> 00:15:47,065
You were right. This is fate.
415
00:15:47,067 --> 00:15:49,067
I needed to see
you one more time
416
00:15:49,069 --> 00:15:50,903
in order to know
for sure about Klaus.
417
00:15:50,905 --> 00:15:52,704
And...?
418
00:15:52,706 --> 00:15:55,240
And...
419
00:15:56,843 --> 00:15:59,695
I have a bus to catch.
420
00:16:03,900 --> 00:16:05,717
Fine, you can see my boobs!
421
00:16:05,719 --> 00:16:06,718
To the alley!
422
00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:09,338
This seems unfair.
423
00:16:09,340 --> 00:16:11,673
I mean, I get that
I'm the only person
424
00:16:11,675 --> 00:16:13,058
not allowed to see this, but...
425
00:16:13,060 --> 00:16:15,644
it just, it-it seems unfair.
426
00:16:15,646 --> 00:16:17,095
Come on, Lily, hurry up.
427
00:16:17,097 --> 00:16:18,647
Guys...
428
00:16:18,649 --> 00:16:21,767
You know, I'm all for honoring a
bet, but who invited Takumi?
429
00:16:22,902 --> 00:16:24,603
Sorry, bro.
I tried.
430
00:16:24,605 --> 00:16:26,822
(speaking Japanese)
431
00:16:29,692 --> 00:16:31,393
What's going on?
What am I missing?
432
00:16:31,395 --> 00:16:33,495
Are they out yet?
What do they look like?
433
00:16:33,497 --> 00:16:34,830
Look, I don't want to know!
434
00:16:34,832 --> 00:16:36,231
Just tell me the kind of coin.
435
00:16:36,233 --> 00:16:39,001
Do you know how long
30 seconds is?
436
00:16:39,003 --> 00:16:42,254
It's going to be five seconds of...
(gasps excitedly)
437
00:16:42,256 --> 00:16:44,840
followed by 25 seconds of....
(awkward grunt)
438
00:16:45,758 --> 00:16:48,293
I mean, yes,
seeing Lily's boobs
439
00:16:48,295 --> 00:16:50,796
is all you've ever
wanted, but come on.
440
00:16:50,798 --> 00:16:53,799
All he's ever wanted...
441
00:16:53,801 --> 00:16:55,217
Lily, stop!
442
00:16:55,219 --> 00:16:57,352
Don't you see?
443
00:16:57,354 --> 00:17:00,355
This was his plan all along!
444
00:17:00,357 --> 00:17:03,892
He let us think he knows how
to do all this Shinjitsu stuff,
445
00:17:03,894 --> 00:17:05,927
just so he could
get you out here
446
00:17:05,929 --> 00:17:08,063
whipping out your milk-makers!
447
00:17:08,065 --> 00:17:10,899
You son of a bitch!
448
00:17:10,901 --> 00:17:12,701
The bet is back on!
449
00:17:13,486 --> 00:17:15,770
Nice try, Barney!
450
00:17:15,772 --> 00:17:17,739
Nice try.
451
00:17:17,741 --> 00:17:19,941
(laughing loudly)
452
00:17:29,435 --> 00:17:31,286
(sizzling)
453
00:17:31,288 --> 00:17:33,939
Maybe I was wrong.
454
00:17:33,941 --> 00:17:36,341
Well, I guess that's everything
you asked me to do, is it not?
455
00:17:36,343 --> 00:17:38,760
Oh, wait! The shrimp
in the pocket.
456
00:17:38,762 --> 00:17:40,012
A modern classic.
457
00:17:40,014 --> 00:17:41,046
And now...
458
00:17:41,048 --> 00:17:43,899
for one minute on second base...
459
00:17:43,901 --> 00:17:46,818
with a firm yet
sensual squeeze...
460
00:17:46,820 --> 00:17:48,453
Nothing can stop him now.
461
00:17:48,455 --> 00:17:50,122
One thing can.
462
00:17:50,124 --> 00:17:51,490
Make that two things.
463
00:18:12,195 --> 00:18:14,179
No!!
464
00:18:14,181 --> 00:18:17,683
Yeah!
Yeah!
465
00:18:17,685 --> 00:18:19,551
So you take her to the bus...
466
00:18:19,553 --> 00:18:21,219
I take her to the bus.
467
00:18:22,555 --> 00:18:24,106
Well, this feels familiar.
468
00:18:24,108 --> 00:18:27,309
You leaving, me kind of
wanting to say, "Don't go""
469
00:18:27,311 --> 00:18:28,694
Little late for that.
470
00:18:28,696 --> 00:18:30,696
Little bit.
471
00:18:30,698 --> 00:18:32,647
- Don't go.
- Ted...
472
00:18:32,649 --> 00:18:34,399
I'm sorry. I just...
473
00:18:34,401 --> 00:18:36,201
Why didn't I say it then?
474
00:18:36,203 --> 00:18:38,954
Why'd I let you
get on that plane?
475
00:18:38,956 --> 00:18:41,890
Why didn't I get on it with you?
476
00:18:41,892 --> 00:18:45,460
What would our lives be
right now, if we had just...
477
00:18:45,462 --> 00:18:47,913
held on?
478
00:18:47,915 --> 00:18:50,365
Would I have still run into
you at this party tonight...
479
00:18:50,367 --> 00:18:52,334
or would we have been
there together?
480
00:18:52,336 --> 00:18:54,503
We'd go home...
481
00:18:54,505 --> 00:18:56,872
to our home?
482
00:18:57,924 --> 00:19:01,426
You cook. I do the dishes.
483
00:19:02,562 --> 00:19:04,146
I'm happy that you're happy.
484
00:19:04,148 --> 00:19:07,232
But damn it.
485
00:19:07,234 --> 00:19:08,483
What if?
486
00:19:08,485 --> 00:19:11,103
Do you really want
to know the answer to that?
487
00:19:11,105 --> 00:19:13,271
No.
488
00:19:14,723 --> 00:19:16,224
I think it would kill me.
489
00:19:16,226 --> 00:19:18,893
Good-bye, Ted.
490
00:19:29,205 --> 00:19:32,407
And that was it.
491
00:19:32,409 --> 00:19:35,260
Now she's probably engaged.
492
00:19:36,679 --> 00:19:39,581
Maybe it's for the best.
493
00:19:41,684 --> 00:19:45,437
All right. Well...
494
00:19:45,439 --> 00:19:47,322
We're gonna duck out.
495
00:19:48,758 --> 00:19:51,109
Sorry to leave you
with the bill.
496
00:19:51,111 --> 00:19:55,614
Oh, guys, it's gonna
be a good year.
497
00:19:56,932 --> 00:19:58,150
I'm glad you guys can laugh,
498
00:19:58,152 --> 00:20:00,152
'cause I think I'm gonna
be physically ill.
499
00:20:00,154 --> 00:20:01,736
Coming down with a mallardy?
500
00:20:01,738 --> 00:20:03,989
Oh, they look hungry.
There you go.
501
00:20:03,991 --> 00:20:05,624
Here you go.
502
00:20:05,626 --> 00:20:08,293
NARRATOR: Kids, there wasone part I left out.
503
00:20:08,295 --> 00:20:10,295
Good-bye, Ted.
504
00:20:12,448 --> 00:20:15,617
Okay, yes.
What's the answer?
505
00:20:17,587 --> 00:20:23,141
There is a reason that it didn't
work out between you and me,
506
00:20:23,143 --> 00:20:25,093
but it's not Germany.
507
00:20:25,095 --> 00:20:27,712
And I'm willing to bet it's the
same reason none of your other
508
00:20:27,714 --> 00:20:30,131
relationships in the last
six years have lasted either.
509
00:20:30,133 --> 00:20:31,483
It's Robin.
510
00:20:32,635 --> 00:20:33,685
No.
511
00:20:33,687 --> 00:20:35,103
Yes.
512
00:20:35,105 --> 00:20:38,106
She is so much bigger
in your world than you realize.
513
00:20:38,108 --> 00:20:41,660
And this thing that you're all
doing, you and Barney and Robin,
514
00:20:41,662 --> 00:20:44,946
where the three of you hang out
at the bar night in, night out,
515
00:20:44,948 --> 00:20:46,832
like you're all just buddies?
516
00:20:46,834 --> 00:20:49,417
That doesn't work. Trust me.
517
00:20:49,419 --> 00:20:51,419
You-You've got it all wrong.
518
00:20:51,421 --> 00:20:53,138
I'm right about this.
519
00:20:55,007 --> 00:20:56,842
Good-bye, Ted.
520
00:21:00,655 --> 00:21:03,155
NARRATOR:
And sure enough, she was right.
521
00:21:03,157 --> 00:21:05,574
It didn't work;we just didn't realize it yet.
522
00:21:05,576 --> 00:21:09,576
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
36444
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