Original subtitles

Downloaded from YTS.MX

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX

I LOVE IT WHEN YOU HEAR PEOPLE SPEAK FRENCH,

BUT THEN IN THE MIDDLE THEY SAY STUFF IN ENGLISH LIKE

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

GRASSY KNOLL, BASEBALL HAT BACKWARDS

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

VOLLEYBALL PLAYERS, UH...

IS THIS BORING YOU? BECAUSE I CAN JUST...

I COULD STOP AT ANY POINT.

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

DEREK JETER

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

PAN AM BUILDING

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

HELICOPTER

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

GRAND CANYON TRIP, THAT WAS FUN.

DON.

DON!

HEY.

THERE'S OUR GUY.

WHAT A SHOCK.

WHY IS HE HERE?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT?

WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS LOOKING AT YOUR ARMS?

WHY IS HE ALWAYS EXAMINING HIS ARMS?

WHAT IS SO INTERESTING ABOUT YOUR ARMS?

WHY IS HE EVEN HERE?

WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

HE SAW YOU TAKE FIVE DOLLARS FROM A TEN DOLLAR

TIP YOU RECEIVED.

NO.

FIVE DOLLARS!

NO.

LARRY, DID YOU HAPPEN TO NOTICE THAT WE HAD SOME

VIDEO SURVEILLANCE EQUIPMENT INSTALLED?

YEAH. -I DON'T KNOW.

[LAUGHS]

YOU'RE FIRED.

[SLURPS DRINK]

DAMN.

[CHOPPING SOUNDS]

I JUST GOT CANNED, I'LL SEE YA.

BYE, BUDDY. BYE, GUYS.

BYE, I GOT FIRED. -LATER MAN.

BYE, EVERYBODY. I GOT FIRED. BYE.

LET HIM GO.

TAKE IT!

WE HARDLY BEGRUDGE YOU A BOTTLE OF WATER

AS PART OF WHAT WE HOPE IS A VERY ATTRACTIVE

SEVERANCE PACKAGE.

MUCH BETTER CHOICE! MUCH BETTER.

[UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC]

♪

♪ I CAN'T FEEL THIS WAY MUCH LONGER ♪

♪ EXPECTING TO SURVIVE

♪ WITH ALL THESE HIDDEN INNUENDOES ♪

♪ JUST WAITING TO ARRIVE

♪ IT'S SUCH A WAVY MIDNIGHT AND YOU SLIP INTO INSANE ♪

♪ ELECTRIC ANGEL ROCK AND ROLLER ♪

♪ I HEAR WHAT YOU'RE PLAYIN'

♪ IT'S AN ORANGEY SKY

♪ ALWAYS IT'S SOME OTHER GUY

♪ IT'S JUST A BROKEN LULLABY

♪ BYE BYE LOVE

♪ BYE BYE LOVE

♪ BYE BYE LOVE

♪ BYE BYE LOVE

♪ SUBSTITUTION MASS CONFUSION

I LIKE A LOT OF ICE.

♪ INVOLVING ALL MY ENERGIES

♪ UNTIL YOU VISITED

♪ WITH YOUR EYES OF PORCELAIN AND OF BLUE ♪

♪ THEY SHOCK ME INTO SENSE

♪ YOU THINK YOU'RE SO ILLUSTRIOUS ♪

♪ YOU CALL YOURSELF INTENSE

♪

'SCUSE ME, SIR. HOW MUCH IS A MEMBERSHIP TO OLDS GYM?

LOOK AT YOURSELF. YOU LOOK TERRIBLE.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

YOU GUYS SWEATING WITH THE OLDIES IN THERE?

♪ SUBSTITUTION MASS CONFUSION

♪ CLOUDS INSIDE YOUR HEAD

♪ INVOLVING ALL MY ENERGIES

♪ UNTIL YOU VISITED

♪ WITH YOUR EYES OF PORCELAIN AND OF BLUE ♪

♪ THEY SHOCK ME INTO SENSE

♪ YOU THINK YOU'RE SO ILLUSTRIOUS ♪

♪ YOU CALL YOURSELF INTENSE

YOU'RE LATE. -HEY.

DON'T DO THAT.

WHAT?

DON'T DO THAT.

I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING. PLEASE DON'T DO THAT.

COME HERE. COME HERE.

LOOK SEE WHAT HE'S DOING WITH HIS LEG.

NO, COME ON.

LOOK AT HIS LEG.

I KNOW. I'M NOT, I'M LOOKING.

SEE THE WAY HIS LEG IS...

WOW.

YOU KNOW, IT'S ONE OF THESE DAYS

YOU'RE GONNA GET CAUGHT DOING THAT.

WHATEVER.

UH, MR. TREBEK? FOUR LETTERS, UH FOUR-FOUR...

YEAH, FOUR SPACES.

ONE, TWO, THREE. -WHO IS ALEX TREBEK?

ALEX?

CRIMSON TIDE. WHAT'S A CRIMSON TIDE NICKNAME?

CRIMSON TIDE NICKNAME IS, UH...

YOU DON'T KNOW.

WHAT ARE YOU DRINKING?

THIS IS JUST MY DRINK.

LET ME HAVE SOME.

NO.

WHY NOT?

BECAUSE IT'S MY DRINK.

YEAH, YEAH. YOU GOT BOOZE IN THERE.

NO. -YOU GOT BOOZE IN THERE.

[SLURPS DRINK]

CAN I HAVE IT PLEASE?

TEQUILA.

LOOK AT THE CAT WITH HIS TAIL UP.

YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?

YOU WANNA FUCK OR YOU WANNA FIGHT?

ALRIGHT.

I'M NOT SURE I'LL EVER BE ABLE TO USE THAT

INFORMATION, BUT THANK YOU.

WHY ARE YOU ALONE FOR CHRIST'S SAKE?

OH GOD.

I MEAN, WHO'S GONNA DIAL 911 WHEN YOU'RE LAID OUT

AND GASPING FOR AIR?

I'M TEACHING THE DOG HOW TO DO IT ACTUALLY.

NO ONE IS LAUGHING.

YOU WANNA FUCK OR YOU WANNA FIGHT?

I WANNA DO NEITHER, REALLY.

THAT'S A PROBLEM.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

AY!

I'M JUST KIDDING.

ARE YOU LATE FOR WORK?

I GUESS.

IT'S HAVING TROUBLE STARTING.

I'M THINKING IT NEEDS THE OIL CHANGED.

YEAH, DEFINITELY.

GET THE OIL CHANGED. THAT'S GONNA HELP.

[CAR STARTING]

[SCREECHING]

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

NO, NO, NO, NO.

NO, NO, NO, NO.

NO PROBLEM.

NO PROBLEM.

NOPE.

JOHN, WILL YOU PLEASE COME SEE ME IN MY OFFICE?

HAVE YOU BEEN HELPED?

OH, YEAH. YES. THANKS.

[SERENE MUSIC]

SUMMER HAS COME AND GONE AND IS NOW TIME FOR

MY FRIENDS, THE TREES, TO SHED

THEIR BEAUTIFUL CLOTHES. -WE FIRED PETE.

YOU HAD THE LINCOLN?

YES.

YOUR CAR APPARENTLY HAS A CRACKED AXLE WHICH IS

QUITE DANGEROUS TO DRIVE.

YEAH, I KNOW, SO EMBARRASSING. -DID YOU KNOW THAT?

ALSO, THE BRAKE PADS ARE VERY SEVERELY WORN.

WE DON'T FIX THAT HERE.

THAT SIGN SAYS 'NOW HIRING.'

OH, NOT REALLY.

HERSCHEL KEEPS THAT UP ALL THE TIME.

SO, LISTEN. ARE YOU HIRING?

UM, YES.

WE ARE.

IT'S LARRY BY THE WAY.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

TO MAKE SUCH INVESTIGATIONS, INQUIRES

OF MY PERSONALITY, EMPLOYMENT, CRIMINAL,

FINANCIAL HISTORY.

I MEAN, A LOT OF THIS IS JUST RED TAPE, RIGHT?

[MUMBLES]

PRESENT ADDRESS.

IS THAT WHERE YOU WANT GIFTS TO GO?

YOU ACTUALLY DON'T REALLY NEED TO FILL THAT OUT

HERE.

WHAT DID YOU LIKE LEAST ABOUT THIS JOB?

IS THIS... AM I SUPPOSED TO FILL OUT THIS SECOND PART

WHEN I GET FIRED?

UM, YEAH. IT LOOKS GOOD.

THERE'S A COUPLE SPELLING ERRORS, BUT FOR THE MOST

PART, I'M GONNA GIVE THIS A B PLUS.

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

HEY!

[BINDER DROPPING]

[DOG SNORTING]

YOU DONE?

[DOG SNORTING]

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

WE KEYED SOMEONE'S CAR TODAY.

GUY NAMED DON.

YOU MIGHT HAVE MET HIM AT THAT PICNIC ON

MEMORIAL DAY. DO YOU REMEMBER?

NEVER A GOOD IDEA, KEYING SOMEONE'S CAR.

I FEEL LIKE THIS IS A NEW LOW AND, IN THIS CASE,

WE'VE KEYED A MUSCLED-DOWN KICKBOXER'S CAR.

DOUBLY POOR.

DOUBLY POOR, ME BOY.

[DOG SNORTING]

[TV PLAYING]

[WEATHER BROADCAST]

[SLURPING DRINK]

[DOG SNORING]

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

I DON'T USUALLY SIGN THINGS WITHOUT MY LAWYER

TAKING A LOOK AT 'EM FIRST.

OBVIOUSLY, I DON'T HAVE A LAWYER.

CANNOT BELIEVE YOU GUYS HIRED ME.

HERE ARE YOUR UNIFORMS.

OH. -MEDIUM? I HOPE THAT FITS.

YEAH, I MEAN...

GREAT. YEAH!

SO I'M GONNA JUST NEED YOU TO SIGN HERE, HERE,

AND HERE.

YUP. -AND HEAD DOWNSTAIRS.

ALRIGHT.

THIS PEN DOESN'T WORK.

OK.

ALRIGHT. YOU GOT A LOT OF STUFF HERE.

EXCUSE ME, MA'AM, HAVE YOU BEEN DRINKING?

HAS ANYONE EVER GOTTEN FIRED ON THEIR FIRST DAY?

YOU'D BE SURPRISED.

[LAUGHS]

SO LISTEN, LARRY. WE LIKE TO KEEP THINGS LOOSE, BUT

MAYBE JUST

TURN IT DOWN.

QUIETER JOKES.

IT REMINDS ME OF THE ONE ABOUT PRESIDENT BUSH GOES

TO THE LIBRARY AND HE SAYS TO THE LIBRARIAN,

'I'D LIKE TO GET A BURGER, FRIES, AND A COKE'

AND SHE SAYS, 'MR. PRESIDENT, THIS IS A LIBRARY'

AND HE SAYS, 'OH, SORRY! I'D LIKE A BURGER, FRIES,

AND A COKE!' [LAUGHS]

[SPEAKING SPANISH]

I WAS WONDERING,

I'M TRYING TO LEARN SPANISH, UM, AND MAYBE

I COULD PRACTICE IT HERE?

OH, YEAH. THAT'S GOOD!

YEAH? ALRIGHT, COOL.

ALRIGHT, YEAH. LARRY. I'LL BE A, UM, COURTESY TECH.

OH, HEY!

HEY!

UH, YOU HAVE TO PAY ME TWENTY DOLLARS A DAY

IF YOU WANNA WORK HERE.

COME AGAIN?

TWENTY DOLLARS? WE GET IT FROM THE CARS.

FROM THE FLOORS, SEATS, GLOVE COMPARTMENTS,

ASHTRAYS, WHEN YOU VACUUM, WE PUT IT IN THERE.

IT'S LIKE A JIMMY TAX.

THAT'S JIMMY'S, OK?

WHAT IF I CAN'T FIND TWENTY DOLLARS?

WHAT'D YA THINK?

IOU?

ATM.

ATM.

ALRIGHT.

BYE, LARRY.

LARRY? -YES?

THANK YOU.

[UPLIFTING MUSIC]

[VACUUMING]

THIS?

YEAH, I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS.

I'M AFRAID TO VACUUM IT.

JUST PLACE IT THERE.

HOW 'BOUT THAT?

HOW 'BOUT THAT?

LARRY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

NO MORE!

WHAT ABOUT THE SQUEEGEES?

NO MORE.

THE TRAINING SAID WE'RE SUPPOSED TO USE SQUEEGEES

FOR BUGS AND DIFFICULT DIRT.

NORMAL CONDITIONS? PAPER TOWELS AND WINDEX.

WE DON'T HAVE NORMAL CONDITIONS.

THE WINDOWS UP HERE ARE DIRT-- -LARRY.

CAN YOU GET BACK TO WORK PLEASE?

I FEEL LIKE I AM WORKING.

[CHEWING]

HOW YOU DOIN'?

HOW'S THAT GUM?

HEY LARRY! HOW'S IT GOING?

GREAT.

THEY MOSTLY HAD ME ON THE VACUUMING RIGHT NOW,

BUT THEY'RE SHOWING ME HOW TO DO SOME OF

THE OTHER THINGS.

UM, YOU WANT ONE OF THESE?

OOPS.

NO, THANK YOU.

UH, WE NORMALLY HAVE EMPLOYEES TAKE THEIR BREAK

IN THE EMPLOYEE BREAK AREA WHICH IS--

SORRY.

JIMMY SHOULD'VE MENTIONED IT.

YOU KNOW WHAT, I THINK HE DID.

LOOK, WHAT'S THIS?

[GROANING]

I'M COMING!

THAT'S GREAT.

WAIT.

THAT'S FAT KID GETTING OUT OF A POOL.

THIS IS THE EMPLOYEE BREAK ROOM.

WOW.

WHAT'S DOWN THERE?

UMM...

OH, THAT'S JIMMY'S. HE'S IN ANGER COUNSELING.

OK.

NOW, IF THIS WERE ME AND WE DID THIS, THE FIRST

THING I WOULD DO IS TAKE ALL THE CEILINGS OUT.

GET SOME HEIGHT BACK IN THE ROOM.

THEN, THIS HAS BEEN DONE TO DEATH, THE EXPOSED

FUSE BOX SO I WOULD, YOU KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO?

NOWADAYS YOU CAN, THIS WAS PUT IN WHAT? TEN YEARS AGO?

THE NEW THINGS ARE THIS BIG.

THAT'S WHAT I WOULD DO.

WHAT DOES IT SMELL LIKE?

THAT'S CLEAN OIL.

THAT'S CLEAN OIL?

THAT'S CLEAN OIL.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

LARRY, THAT'S A LOT OF WATER.

[ATM BEEPING]

I'M POOR.

[DOG SNORTING]

I AM POOR.

[SLURPS DRINK]

OH, NO. NO, THANK YOU.

I JUST NEED YOU TO TAKE IT OUTSIDE.

YOU KNOW, IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO START

STOPPING DRINKING.

SYLVIA JONES HAS MADE IT VERY CLEAR

THAT SHE WANTS THIS ROOM.

THAT SEEMS IN POOR TASTE.

YOU MAY OR MAY NOT RECALL OUR CONVERSATION.

I ASKED TO BORROW SOME MONEY.

I RECALL.

YES.

SIX THOUSAND DOLLARS.

SORT OF. IT WAS SIX THOUSAND, BUT IT WAS PER MONTH

FOR FOUR MONTHS SO IT WAS MORE LIKE

TWENTY-FIVE THOUSAND. -RIGHT.

PASS.

OK.

WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF YOU HAD PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE

WHO YOU SAW WHEN THEY NEEDED SOMETHING?

USUALLY MONEY?

YEAH, BECAUSE IT WOULD MEAN I HAD MONEY.

SHUT UP.

YOU SHUT UP.

YOU SHUT UP!

[SOFT ROCK MUSIC]

♪ PAID UP, WEATHERED, AND TYPE-O ♪

♪ CLAD IN GLADSTONE, WATCH HIM GO ♪

HEY GROVER.

HOW'D THAT DATE GO?

WELL, I MADE DINNER RESERVATIONS FOR US.

SHE CAME OVER AND SHE HAD SPAGHETTI SAUCE

ON HER FACE.

WHAT? -YEAH.

I SAID, 'HAVE YOU ALREADY EATEN?'

SHE SAID, 'YEAH, I HAD SOME SPAGHETTI'

I SAID, 'I KNOW.'

LET ME GET THESE THREE VODKAS.

[SCANNING BARCODE]

IT'S CHEAPER IF YOU GET FOUR.

YES, I KNOW.

IT'S NOT GOOD FOR ME.

OH, OKAY.

[SNORING]

[GRUNTING]

THE RULE IS IF YOU DON'T PAY AT LEAST YOU GOTTA

PUMP THE GAS OR DO THE WINDOWS.

I LIKE THAT GUY'S SWEATER.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

[VACUUMING]

[HONKING]

YOU GOT IT?

I GOT IT. [PUNCHES]

YOU DON'T GOT IT. -I GOT IT.

EXCUSE ME.

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE TEN AND THE

THIRTY?

USE THE THIRTY.

LARRY'S ACTUALLY CATCHING ON PRETTY QUICKLY.

HEY, LARRY, HAVE YOU LOOKED AT THIS STUFF YET?

ONE SECOND, MY STOCKS ARE CRASHING.

[SLURPS DRINK]

[UPLIFTING MUSIC]

HOW WE DOING THIS EVENING?

PASS.

[SOFT ROCK MUSIC]

♪ I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU FIND YOUR NERVE ♪

♪ I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU CHOOSE YOUR WORDS ♪

♪ SPEAK THE ONES THAT SUIT YOU WORST ♪

♪ KEEP YOU GROUNDED, SAD, AND CURSED ♪

♪ CIRCLE THE ONES THAT COME ALIVE ♪

♪ SAVE THEM FOR THE BEST OF JILL HIVES ♪

♪ NUMBER ONE IN ALL OUR SOULS

♪ TRIFLE IN A CRYSTAL BOWL

♪ FILL IT UP WITH NINE TO FIVE

♪ SAVE THEM FOR THE BEST OF JILL HIVES ♪

HEY NORWOOD.

HEY LARRY.

MAN, YOU WANNA GIVE ME A HAND FOR A SECOND?

SURE.

DID YOU LOSE ANOTHER ONE?

I GUESS.

YOU GUESS?

I GUESS THAT IS AS GOOD A WAY TO PUT IT AS ANY.

ANY LEFTOVERS?

NO. LARRY.

[GROANS]

YEAH, I'M A LITTLE LATE. IS SHE STILL AWAKE?

I DON'T KNOW.

LET'S HAVE A LOOK.

SO FAR I'VE LOOKED FORWARD TO IT.

I'VE ONLY BEEN THERE FOR FOUR DAYS.

I'M NOT USED TO LOOKING FORWARD TO WORK.

HUH.

MY BOSS IS UNBELIEVABLE. -UNBELIEVABLE, HOW?

SHE'S BEAUTIFUL.

SHE'S GOT THIS KINDA FAT UPPER LIP THAT CURVES

AND MAKES YOU A LITTLE CRAZY.

THAT'S GOOD.

THAT CAN MAKE GOING INTO WORK LESS OF A CHORE.

SO FAR I'VE LOOKED FORWARD TO IT.

I'M NOT USED TO LOOKING FORWARD TO WORK.

HEY, THE OLD LADY WAS TALKING ABOUT GETTING HER

OIL CHANGED.

YOUR GRANDMA, I MEAN.

[DOOR OPENING]

SHE'S ASLEEP.

UGH, I MEANT TO MAKE IT IN FOR MOTHER'S DAY,

BUT I HAD TO WORK. WE HAD A SPECIAL GOING.

SHE'S YOUR GRANDMA.

IT'S VERY COMMON TO GIVE YOUR GRANDMOTHER GIFTS FOR

MOTHER'S DAY, NORWOOD.

YES, I'VE HEARD THAT SOMEWHERE.

YOU HEARD IT HERE.

I'M OFF IN TWENTY IF YOU WANNA GO CLUBBING.

YEAH, SOUNDS GOOD. -NO.

HUH. -NO.

[DOOR OPENS]

ALRIGHT.

THIS IS MY IMITATION OF A PERSON FROM THE SOUTH

HEARING A STORY THAT THEY LIKE.

MHM.

AND HOW THEY REACT.

SAY SOMETHING TO ME. TELL ME ABOUT LAST NIGHT.

SO I WENT TO JIM'S LAST NIGHT. -SHUT UP.

BUT THE DOOR WAS LOCKED -NO, NO, NO!

IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SURPRISE PARTY.

NO! SHUT UP!

SURPRISE BIRTHDAY PARTY SO I-- -NO, YOU KEEP TALKING.

I'LL JUST SAY NO. NO! NO!

SO I CHECKED MY PHONE

TO SEE IF I WAS LATE. -SHUT UP. GO AWAY, GO AWAY!

TRY THESE PLEASE.

WHAT ARE THEY?

FOR PEOPLE WHOSE LIVERS AND KIDNEYS DON'T WORK AS

WELL AS THEY USED TO.

WHERE DO YOU GET IT?

DID YOU JUST TAKE TWO?

NO.

I ONLY GET ONE?

TRY THE THING.

NO, I DON'T WANNA DO THAT.

NO, NO.

WE HAD HER ON POST-OP FOR ABOUT AN HOUR BEFORE

THE HEMORRHAGING BEGAN AGAIN, BUT WE STABILIZED HER.

IDIOT. -SHE'S STABLE.

JEEZ, DOCTOR NORWOOD, THE WHOLE FAMILY...

I SPEAK FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY WHEN I SAY

I DON'T KNOW HOW WE CAN REPAY YOU.

GOOD EVENING.

DID YOU KNOW THIS? THAT IF YOU'RE HIGH-FIVING SOMEBODY,

IF YOU LOOK AT THEIR ELBOWS YOU WILL NEVER MISS

WITH YOUR HAND AND I WILL SHOW YOU RIGHT NOW.

CAN'T POSSIBLY BE TRUE. -WATCH THIS.

JUST HIGH-FIVE ME.

RIGHT NOW LOOK AT MY ELBOW. LOOK AT

FOCUS ON MY ELBOW.

[SLAPS]

WHAT!

♪ TELL IT TRUE TO ME, BABY

♪ TELL IT TRUE

♪ TELL IT TRUE TO ME, BABY HEY! SERIOUSLY?

♪ CAUSE I LOVE YOU

[TELEVISION PLAYING]

YUP! [CLEARS THROAT]

[BED KNOCKING]

THAT'S A LITTLE ODD.

I GUESS IT IS.

IT HAPPENS A LOT.

ME OUT HERE, HIM IN THERE.

HIM IN THERE, ME OUT HERE.

[MUMBLING]

CAN YOU CHANGE THE CHANNEL?

MHM.

I... OKAY!

I JUST REMEMBERED I GOTTA GET GOING AND WALK MY DOG.

OKAY. -IT'S BEEN NICE MEETING YOU.

SEE YA LATER.

UM, SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR FRIEND.

SHE'S NOT REALLY MY FRIEND. WE JUST WORK TOGETHER.

ALRIGHT, THEN DON'T SAY GOODBYE.

LET'S GO!

[SNORING]

COME ON.

FIGHT IT. FIGHT IT.

OPEN 'EM. OPEN 'EM.

I MEAN, YOU SLEPT ALL DAY YESTERDAY

AND ALL NIGHT. AND YOU DID THAT

THE DAY BEFORE, AND THE DAY BEFORE, AND THE DAY BEFORE.

YOU LITERALLY SLEEP ALL DAY.

YOU KNOW, IT'S NOT GOOD FOR YOU TO GET THIS MUCH

SLEEP.

YOU KNOW, MOST DOGS, THEY HAVE A LOT OF ENERGY.

A LOT OF OWNERS OF DOGS SAY THAT THEIR DOGS LIKE

HAVE TO RUN.

THEY HAVE TO RUN 'EM OUT, THEY CALL IT.

RUNNING 'EM OUT.

'SCUSE ME.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

MAKING THEM TIRED SO THEY'LL FALL ASLEEP.

YOU'RE THE OPPOSITE.

YOU SLEEP ALL DAY.

I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT.

YOU'RE LIKE THE CARTOON CAT,

BUT A DOG THAT'S IN REAL LIFE.

YOU LIKE CATS?

ARE YOU AWAKE?

[CAR HUMMING]

COME ON.

HEY!

LET'S GO INSIDE. WE GOTTA GO INSIDE. COME ON.

HEY DON!

[INTERCOM MUSIC]

THOSE ARE BREAKFAST SAUSAGES. -YES.

THEY'RE FROZEN.

THEY'LL THAW ON THE WAY OVER.

WHY NOT DOG TREATS?

THESE ARE NINETY-NINE CENTS. THEY'RE ON SALE.

I JUST THINK IT REDUCES THE DOG'S DIGNITY AND ALL

TO GIVE HIM FROZEN BREAKFAST SAUSAGES.

I DON'T WANNA GET IN A SCENARIO, YA KNOW?

THE DOG'S PROBABLY THE MOST HARMLESS CREATURE ON

EARTH. WE BRING IT THE TREATS

JUST TO KEEP IT QUIET.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

YOU'RE THE LOOK OUT.

♪

[SNORING]

[PEEING]

I THINK A NEIGHBOR SAW ME.

UH-OH.

[CHEWING]

DO-DO-DO-DO-DO- DO-DO-DO-DO-DO-DO!

WELL LOOK, WE CAN'T STAY HERE FOREVER.

[DOG BREATHING HEAVILY]

WHAT WAS THAT?

[SPRAYS]

[RINGING]

THESE GUYS CAME OVER TODAY,

BROKE INTO MY PLACE.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY TOOK.

IF ANYTHING.

I CAN'T TELL IF THEY MESSED ANYTHING UP 'CAUSE

THE PLACE, TO BE HONEST WITH YOU, WASN'T YOU KNOW

IN GREAT SHAPE, BUT THERE WAS URINE ALL OVER

MY UM, TOILET SEAT, ON THE FLOOR, AROUND IT.

ARE YOU READY TO RETREAT FROM THE BELIEF

THAT THE DOCTOR GET-UP DOES NOT WORK?

MAYBE.

MAYBE YES.

MAYBE NO.

MAYBE YES.

OKAY.

PRETTY SURE SHE KNEW I WASN'T A DOCTOR,

BUT BY THE TIME SHE FIGURED IT OUT

HONESTLY, I HAVE NEVER EXPERIENCED...

SHE TALKED TO ME ABOUT THIS COOKING CLASS

THAT SHE'S BEEN TAKING.

IT WOULDN'T HAVE HURT TO MAKE HER FEEL DESIRED,

WOULD IT?

WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?

I DIDN'T LIKE HER AND SHE WAS NOT INTERESTING

AT ALL. SHE'S NOT... SHE WAS NOT...

SHE'S NOT THE GOOD LOOKING ONE YOU HAD!

DO YOU SEE HOW THE EVENING FEELS ON MY END?

DO YOU SEE WHAT IT FEELS LIKE

TO BE STUCK ON A COUCH?

I DON'T... I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE EVENING FEELS...

I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE STUCK ON A COUCH.

YOU GOT HER DRUNK. THAT'S HALF THE BATTLE.

LIKE WHAT'D YOU... WHAT-WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT?

WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE A BATTLE?

YOU'VE NEVER OF HEARD THE TERM THE BATTLE

OF THE SEXES? -OF COURSE I'VE--

THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT.

I'M JUST, I'M CONFUSED.

YOU SOUND VERY-- -I'M A CONFUSED HUMAN BEING

RIGHT NOW. -WHAT'RE YOU CONFUSED ABOUT?

I'M JUST CONFUSED ABOUT LIKE MY HISTORY.

MY HISTORY WITH THESE THINGS IT NEVER ENDS WELL

FOR ME.

WISCONSIN'S GONE! -HEY, DUDE

THE QUARTER! IT DISAPPEARED!

YES, SIR. -WE HAD SOME CHANGE IN HERE.

A BUNCH OF... WE HAD A BUNCH OF QUARTERS

AND THERE WAS...

ARE YOU SURE? -IT'S NOT EVEN ABOUT THE MONEY.

THERE WAS A SPECIAL QUARTER THAT HE'S COLLECTING.

FIRST OF ALL, WE-WE THE MONEY WAS... WE...

I'M NOT REALLY GONNA MISS THE SEVENTEEN QUARTERS

THAT ONE OF YOUR EMPLOYEES TOOK FROM MY CHANGE

COMPARTMENT, BUT I'M A CITIZEN AND YOU NEED

TO KNOW THIS AND FOR THE RECORD I AM NOT ACCUSING

ANYONE OF ANYTHING.

MHM.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO UH...

YOUR STUFF, BUT MAYBE I-I MIGHT HAVE...

I HAVE TEXAS, COLORADO, ALABAMA,

ARKANSAS. OKAY, GREAT.

YOU KNOW WHAT, COME TO MY OFFICE

AND LET'S UH, FIGURE THIS OUT.

MAYBE...

[DOOR SLAMS]

SO SORRY ABOUT THAT.

ALRIGHT, THANKS MAN FOR YOUR TROUBLES.

YEAH, NO WORRIES. IT'S COOL.

HEY, COME BACK IN A FEW YEARS.

I'LL GET YOU A JOB, YEAH?

MMM. -WELL...

NO OFFENSE, DUDE.

WE'RE AIMING A LITTLE HIGHER, YOU KNOW?

IT'S LIKE...

I MEAN THIS IS A COOL JOB. -OKAY.

IT'S A FUN JOB, BUT... -OKAY.

YOU KNOW WHAT GIVE ME THE QUARTER BACK.

LARRY, I KNOW YOU'RE NICE ENOUGH TO MOVE THE MONEY

UP TO THE DASHBOARD, BUT MAYBE WE'RE BETTER OFF NOT

TOUCHING IT AT ALL.

OKAY, YOU WANT ME TO VACUUM AROUND IT?

I DON'T KNOW. WHAT DO YOU THINK?

UM, WELL, IT'S HARDER TO VACUUM AROUND

THAN TO MOVE AND GATHER INTO ONE PLACE

WHICH I UNDERSTOOD TO BE A COURTESY.

LET'S JUST NOT TOUCH IT AND SEE HOW THAT GOES.

OKAY, CAN WE BE EXCUSED NOW?

YES.

LARRY, CAN YOU WAIT HERE A MINUTE?

I WANTED TO ASK YOU A FAVOR. -HMM.

TWO BANNERS THAT NEED TO GO UP BEFORE WORK

TOMORROW. I JUST ASSUMED HAVE YOU COME IN EARLY

AND HELP ME UP WITH THEM? -SURE THING.

OKAY. THEY NEED TO BE UP BEFORE SEVEN SO,

SIX IS GOOD?

YEAH. -OKAY.

I MEAN WE COULD DO IT AFTER WORK, BUT PEOPLE ARE

TIRED AND IT GETS DARK.

ALRIGHT.

MORNING LIGHT'S BETTER FOR ADJUSTING THEM.

GREAT.

[LAUGHS]

WHAT? WHAT'D I DO?

[TV PLAYING] BUCA DI BEPPO.

ITALIAN FAMILY STYLE DINING.

BIG SMILES AND BIGGER PORTIONS.

WHENEVER THE OCCASION.

CELEBRATE AT BUCA!

BUCA DI BEPPO.

[SWISHES]

[SPITS]

[SIGHS]

BOUGHT IT FOR WELL, NOT FOR MY DAUGHTER,

BUT WITH THE IDEA OF HER.

OF IT BEING NICE. OF BEING A FAMILY.

WE?

JIMMY AND ME.

WE-I WAS MARRIED TO HIM FOR ONE? TWO?

THREE AND A HALF YEARS.

HE HAS TERRIBLE CREDIT AND HE GOT A DUI.

THINGS SEEM A LITTLE TENSE.

THERE'S TENSION BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU, YOU KNOW?

YEAH, THERE IS.

IT'S A LOT OF THINGS, BUT MOSTLY SPLITTING WITH A

KID. I DON'T RECOMMEND IT.

I WAS READING UH... I READ A STORY

WHERE THIS COUPLE'S FIGHTING OVER A KID

A CHILD AND THEY-THEY PULL THE KID APART.

LITERALLY SPLIT THE BABY IN TWO.

PHYSICALLY. IT WAS FICTION, BUT STILL.

THAT'S I THINK... YEAH.

SAYING YOU HAVE TO BE CAREFUL. I MEAN, WHAT IT DOES

TO BE A KID IN THE MIDDLE OF THAT.

THERE'S NO OTHER WAY, BELIEVE ME.

I BELIEVE YOU.

MORNING.

HEY, LARRY.

[SCOFFS]

DON'T STEAL FROM MY BEAMER, MAN.

COMES IN EVERY WEEK CAUSE HE'S IN LOVE WITH LUPE.

THAT GUY GETS HIS OIL CHANGED EVERY WEEK?

YES HE DO.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

♪

[HONKS]

CAN'T BE IN HERE.

STATE LAW.

[LAUGHS] OKAY!

SLIPPERY. YOU'LL SLIP.

[VACUUMING]

THIS PLACE DOESN'T SEEM SO BAD.

MISS TORRES, THIS IS MY GRANDMOTHER.

PLEASED TO MEET YOU.

LARRY IS A PLEASURE TO WORK WITH.

HMM, YOU'RE HIS BOSS?

YES.

YOU A DOCTOR?

WHAT KIND?

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

HEY, IS YOUR FRIEND OKAY?

WHO, NORWOOD? YEAH, HE'S FINE.

HE HAS A FAKE UM, WHAT'D YOU CALL IT?

A PROSTHETIC LEG.

OH, REALLY?

YEAH, IT'S BAD. HE GOT IT IN THE WAR.

UMM... I THINK IT WAS DESERT STORM OR

YOU KNOW, ONE OF THOSE. AFGHANISTAN!

OH. -YEAH.

HE'S NOT A HERO OR ANYTHING.

YOU'LL BE RUNNING THIS PLACE IN NO TIME, LAWRENCE.

IS YOUR FRIEND'S NAME REALLY MAJOR?

YEAH, BUT HE'S NOT A DOCTOR IF THAT'S

WHAT HE TOLD YOU.

NO, HE TOLD ME HE WORKS AT THE ASSISTED CARE

FACILITY CLEANING BED PANS, CHANGING SHEETS.

THAT KIND OF THING.

YEAH, THAT'S KINDA FIRST FOR HIM.

WHAT'D YA MEAN?

I DON'T KNOW.

DID HE ASK FOR YOUR TELEPHONE NUMBER?

NO, HE HAS IT ALREADY, RIGHT?

YEAH.

HE'S A REAL LADY KILLER, THAT MAJOR NORWOOD.

THANKS FOR THE INFORMATION, LARRY.

[ROCK MUSIC]

♪

♪ DON'T CROSS ME BABE

♪ DON'T CROSS ME BABE

♪ DON'T CROSS ME BABE

♪ DON'T CROSS ME BABE

♪ THINK YOU WON'T DON'T DO IT ♪

♪ FOR SURE, SURE DON'T CROSS ME BABE ♪

WANNA HAVE A FLAG?

HUH?

YEAH.

SO YOU GONNA DO ONE?

NO, MOST OF THE SONGS I LIKE TEND TO BRING

THE ROOM TO KIND OF A SCREECHING HALT.

YOU'RE AT A KAR-- YOU'RE AT A KARAOKE BAR!

I'M GETTING US SHOTS.

YOU TORCHED A SAAB LIKE A PILE OF LEAVES

[DRUNKENLY SINGS] BETTER WHEELS

FOUR, FIVE METERS RUNNING ROUND THE BEND

WHEN THE GOVERNMENT AGENTS SURROUND YOU AGAIN

IF DIANE YOUNG WON'T CHANGE YOUR MIND, THEN

BABY, BABY, BABY, BABY RIGHT ON TIME

THAT'S A LOT OF WORDS.

♪ OUT OF CONTROL BUT YOU'RE PLAYING A ROLE ♪

♪ DO YOU THINK YOU CAN GO 'TIL THE 18TH HOLE ♪

♪ OR WILL YOU FLIP-FLOP THE DAY OF THE CHAMPIONSHIP? ♪

♪ TRY TO GO IT ALONE ON YOUR OWN FOR A BIT ♪

♪ IF DIANE YOUNG WON'T CHANGE YOUR MIND, ♪

♪ BABY, BABY, BABY, BABY RIGHT ON TIME ♪

♪ BABY BABY BABY BABY RIGHT ON ♪

♪ BABY BABY BABY BABY RIGHT ON ♪

♪ BABY BABY BABY IT'S A LIGHT ON ♪

♪ BABY BABY BABY IT'S A LIFETIME ♪

♪ BABY BABY BABY BABY RIGHT ON TIME ♪

WOOHOO! [CLAPS]

WELL, I APOL-- MY APOLOGIES TO THE BAND.

[LAUGHTER]

AND MY APOLOGIES TO YOU.

AND MY APOLOGIES TO MY-MY MYSELF.

CAN I TRY IT AGAIN?

[UPLIFTING MUSIC]

I'VE GOT MY DOG.

WHAT'S HER NAME?

HIS NAME'S ARROW.

HEY, ARROW.

[SNORTS]

HEY BUDDY.

BACK AGAIN, HUH?

YES, SIR.

ID?

YOU JUST SAID BACK AGAIN. WHAT DO YOU MEAN, ID?

[SCOFFS]

THEY'RE WATCHING.

HEY, REGINALD OH, LARRY! LARRY!

YEAH.

SHE'S UM...SHE'S REFUSING THE WALKER AGAIN.

I REALLY, REALLY NEED YOU TO HELP ME OUT HERE.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND. THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE.

YOU CAN PUT IT IN HER CAR. -SHE DOESN'T NEED...

SHE DOESN'T NEED THE WALKER, REGINALD.

I DON'T WRITE THE RULES. I JUST, I JUST...

I JUST WORK RIGHT HERE.

LISTEN, YOU KNOW WHAT, HERE'S THE THING.

I GO UP THERE AND I GET IN TROUBLE FOR IT.

I GET CREAMED.

OH, YES. [LAUGHS]

MIX ME A DRINK.

YOU CAN USE THIS.

I DON'T WANT THAT FUCKING THING.

IT'S JUST WEIRD LIKE WE'RE KICKING

A DEAD HORSE HERE.

HOW MANY TIMES HAVE WE BEEN OVER THIS?

I KNOW IT'S NOT YOUR RULE, IT'S JUST FUNNY TO ME

THAT YOU THINK I HAVE ANY CONTROL OVER HER.

THIS IS TOO SERIOUS.

WE'RE TAKING THIS WAY TOO SERIOUSLY.

LOOK AT THIS. FAT GUY GETTING OUT OF A POOL.

[GROANS]

MY LEG! IT'S NOT RIDING.

CAN'T GET IT ON THIS TILE POOL.

I-I-I! I CAN'T HAVE YOU UP ON THE COUNTER!

I GOT OUT! -LARRY, LARRY, JUST...

ALRIGHT, I'M JUST SAYING... COME ON.

THERE'S TOO MUCH RED TAPE AROUND HERE.

LET'S LIGHTEN UP.

THANK YOU, THANK YOU. -I KNOW IT'S NOT YOU.

IT'S THE GUYS BEHIND THE GLASS. I KNOW.

BILL WANTED ME TO TELL YOU IF THIS CAME UP.

HE SAID, 'IF SHE FALLS, IT'S YOUR ASS.'

NO, ACTUALLY IT'S HER ASS.

AND NOW, ON THE UNEVEN BARS.

SO HOW'S YOUR SPANISH COMING ALONG?

I DON'T KNOW.

YOU WANNA RUN THAT PLACE,

YOU PROBABLY NEED TO LEARN SPANISH.

I DON'T WANNA RUN THAT PLACE.

WELL, WHY NOT?

I DON'T WANNA RUN IT. -WHY NOT?

I DON'T WANNA RUN IT. -WHY NOT?

YOU RUN THAT ONE AND BEFORE YOU KNOW IT

YOU'RE RUNNING A COUPLE AND TEN AND YOU'RE A RICH MAN.

I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT IT.

AS I SAY, IT'S NICE TO JUST ENJOY THE IDEA

OF GOING TO WORK.

I THINK YOU'D BE SURPRISED IF YOU THOUGHT

ABOUT SOME OF THESE THINGS A LITTLE.

WHAT WOULD HAPPEN?

COME 'ERE.

OKAY.

OKAY.

NO, SEE I DON'T LIKE WHAT YOU'RE DOING NOW.

WHAT AM I DOING?

YOU'RE PATRONIZING ME.

HOW CAN I PATRONIZE YOU? -UH-NO!

NINETY PERCENT OF THE EQUATION IS JUST SHOWING UP.

YES, YOU'VE TOLD ME THAT.

I'M TELLING YOU AGAIN.

TORRES, YOU KNOW I GET WITH HER AT WORK AND

I FEEL LIKE YOU KNOW, YOU READ ABOUT MOMS

PICKING CARS UP OFF BABIES, RESCUE WORKERS

JUMPING THREE STORIES WITHOUT INJURY, YOU KNOW?

IT'S LIKE A SHOT OF ADRENALINE.

YOU NEED TO GET UP ON HERE.

I WAS IN LOVE WITH MY BOSS FOR THIRTEEN YEARS.

I LOVED GOING TO WORK.

IT WAS NOT A GOOD JOB, BUT WHO CARES.

WHAT ELSE YOU GOT?

WE USED TO SPONSOR A BASEBALL TEAM.

WHAT HAPPENED?

HEY, LARRY, CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A MINUTE?

HUH?

CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A MINUTE?

HEY, LARRY, I DON'T KNOW, YOU MIGHT HAVE KNOWN

THIS WAS COMING. I'M NOT SURE.

I GOT A CALL FROM A MARV DINSMORE

OVER AT BUCA DI BEPPO. -OH, GOD.

HE TOLD ME ABOUT A SITUATION THAT HAPPENED

OVER THERE A COUPLE WEEKS BACK.

GREAT.

UH, IS HE THE GUY WITH THE FIAT?

YEAH, KINDA. NO, SORTA.

YOU MAY HAVE KNOWN THIS WAS COMING, TOO,

BUT MR. KAMINSKY FOUND OUT THAT YOU'VE BEEN FIRED

FOR STEALING AND...

HE WANTS ME TO LET YOU GO.

OH. -HE OWNS BOTH, YOU KNOW?

HE OWNS BUCA'S?

YEAH, HE OWNS THE WHOLE MINI-MALL.

I TOLD HIM I WASN'T SURE IT WAS A GOOD IDEA.

I TOLD HIM YOU WERE A GOOD ADDITION TO THE TEAM,

BUT HE SEEMED PRETTY ADAMANT,

AND WHILE I DO HAVE SOME PULL, HE IS THE OWNER.

[PHONE VIBRATES]

UH, I'M WAITING TO TALK TO HIM ONE MORE TIME

ABOUT IT, BUT IT DOESN'T LOOK GOOD.

OKAY.

JEEZ, I MEAN I REALLY DON'T SEE WHAT THIS

HAS TO DO WITH MY WORK HERE.

ALSO, LARRY, I GUESS I WANTED TO ASK AND

IT'S NOT EXACTLY ONE HUNDRED PERCENT WORK RELATED,

BUT IT IS A BIT PUZZLING.

WHY DID YOU TELL ME YOUR FRIEND MAJOR HAS A FAKE

LEG?

[PHONE VIBRATES]

I'M GONNA TAKE IT.

HELLO?

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. HE'S...

UH-HUH...

OKAY. YUP.

OKAY. BYE.

HEY, SO THAT WAS NORWOOD AND HE NEEDS YOU TO GO

DOWN THERE.

HE SAYS IT'S IMPORTANT.

IS IT ABOUT MY GRANDMA?

IT'S EXCITING. IT'S...

HEY, NORWOOD.

HEY, LARRY.

WHERE'S MY GRANDMA?

WHAT'S THAT CALLED WHEN YOU EXPECT SOMETHING

THAT'S OUT OF NOWHERE?

THIS MORNING, I WENT IN TO CHECK ON HER.

SHE WOULDN'T WAKE UP.

WE HAVE SOMEBODY WHO CAN TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING.

YOU KNOW, ARRANGEMENTS.

OKAY.

DID SANDERS GET CALLED?

WHO?

THE LAWYER. DID SOMEONE CALL THE LAWYER?

I DON'T KNOW.

I DON'T THINK SO.

SHE'S MY LAST SURVIVING RELATIVE.

SINCE YOU MET HER, IF YOU WANNA COME TO THE FUNERAL.

NORWOOD WILL BE THERE.

YOU GUYS DATING?

NEVERMIND.

I'LL CALL YOU WITH THE DETAILS OR

MAYBE NORWOOD WILL.

[CLEARS THROAT]

THANK YOU.

GOODBYE.

HELLO?

SO, OKAY. UMM...

I THINK I MADE UP THAT THING ABOUT NORWOOD'S LEG

BECAUSE I WANTED YOU TO LIKE HIM LESS.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

PRETTY SURE THAT'S WHY I DID IT.

♪

WELL, CALL ME LATER.

I MEAN, I'LL SEE YOU SOON.

[LAUGHS]

OKAY.

OKAY.

THE FUNNIEST LITTLE DOG JUST WALKED BY OUTSIDE.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

I WANNA STAY HERE.

I WANNA STAY HERE AND THINK AND DRINK.

I WANNA STAY HERE AND THINK AND DRINK.

[SLURPS DRINK]

[KEYS JINGLING]

WHAT IS IT?

HEY!

HERE YOU GO.

DID YOU KEY MY CAR?

HEY, DON.

DID YOU PEE ON MY FLOOR?

AREN'T WE EVEN?

DID YOU KEY MY CAR?

YEAH, I DID.

[COUGHS]

[PUNCH]

[DOG SNORING]

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

[MAGNETS DROPPING]

[GLASS BREAKING]

YEAH, LARRY, THIS IS GEORGE SANDERS.

MY CONDOLENCES.

TRY ME BACK IF YOU HAVE A MOMENT REGARDING YOUR LATE

GRANDMOTHER'S ESTATE.

HI, GEORGE.

HI.

YES.

UH-HUH.

YEAH.

UH-HUH. [BUTTONS DROPPING]

WHAT TIME?

WHAT TIME IS IT NOW?

ALRIGHT.

[FOLK MUSIC]

♪ TELL IT TRUE TO ME, BABY

♪ TELL IT TRUE

♪ TELL IT TRUE TO ME, BABY

♪ CAUSE I LOVE YOU

WHOOPS!

♪ TALK IT REAL TO ME, BABY

♪ TALK IT REAL

YOU KNOW WHAT'S FUNNY? THAT YOU HAVE KNEES.

YOU DON'T THINK ABOUT THAT.

THAT DOGS HAVE KNEES, RIGHT?

CAUSE IT'S JUST, WHERE IS IT?

I MEAN IT'S JUST A LITTLE TINY LEG YOU HAVE

AND WHERE'S THE KNEE?

YOU KNOW I THINK OF A KNEE IS LIKE DIVIDING A LEG

KIND OF IN A WEIRD WAY, RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE,

BUT YOURS IS JUST A LEG.

THERE'S NO DIVISION AND THEN IT SORTA JUST BREAKS

DOWN BY THE PAW, BUT I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOUR

KNEE IS AND IT'S VERY CUTE TO ME.

♪

[RESTAURANT CHATTER]

LARRY! [LAUGHS]

GEORGE.

I HARDLY RECOGNIZED YA!

OH.

[GROANS]

[CLEARS THROAT]

I AM SO SORRY ABOUT YOUR GRANDMOTHER.

THANK YOU, GEORGE. -MHM.

OUCH! LOOKS LIKE SOME TYPE OF ACCIDENT.

YEAH, GUY WHO BEAT ME UP BECAUSE I KEYED HIS CAR.

OH! [CLEARS THROAT]

DO YOU WANT UH, WANT SOMETHING?

NO, THANK YOU.

WELL, AS YOU KNOW, LARRY YOUR MOTHER'S PRETTY WELL OFF.

GRANDMOTHER.

UM, SORRY.

[LAUGHS]

YOUR GRANDMOTHER, SHE HAD ALL HER MONEY IN A SAVINGS

ACCOUNT.

GOVERNMENT EMPLOYEES CREDIT UNION.

THE BALANCE IS, AS YOU KNOW, FAIRLY HEALTHY.

ONE POINT THREE MILLION DOLLARS.

ALSO, DESPITE MY PROTESTATIONS, YOUR

GRANDMOTHER DREW UP A NEW WILL SOME THREE YEARS AGO

STIPULATING THAT YOU, HER SOLE HEIR, WOULD RECEIVE

RATHER THAN THE BULK OF THE ESTATE, ONLY ONE OF

ITS COMPONENTS UPON HER DEATH.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.

IT MEANS SHE LEFT THE MONEY TO AN EMPLOYEE OF

THE CARE FACILITY, MAJOR NORWOOD.

MAJOR NORWOOD?

MAJOR NORWOOD, YEAH, DO YOU KNOW HIM?

YEAH, I KNOW MAJOR NORWOOD. REALLY, REALLY WELL.

SHE INSTRUCTED ME TO GIVE YOU THE CAR AND ITS TITLE

WHICH, FREE AND CLEAR, ALONG WITH THIS NOTE.

AND WE CAN ARRANGE TO HAVE THE CAR TOWED TO YOUR

HOME. IT'LL BE THERE TOMORROW MORNING.

YOU KNOW, YOU'RE FREE TO CONTEST THE WILL, BUT

[LAUGHS] WON'T BE EASY.

I MEAN, THE CASE FOR IT IS PRETTY CLEAR CUT.

I KNOW THIS HAS BEEN KINDA SUDDEN.

IF I WEREN'T DUE IN COURT TOMORROW, I

[CLEARS THROAT] I WOULD STAY. I WOULD STAY.

THE HAND HOLDING ISN'T HELPING, GEORGE.

OH!

GOSH, I'M SORRY.

I DIDN'T MEAN TO MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE.

[LIPS SMACK]

[UPLIFTING MUSIC]

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

[BRAKES SCREECHING]

WHAT'RE YOU DOING? -HUH?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING THROWING HATS AT CARS?

I'M NOT THROWING HATS AT CARS.

I THREW MY HAT AT YOUR CAR, GRANTED.

WELL, YOU DON'T GO AROUND DOING THAT.

WELL, IT'S LATE AND I GOT FRUSTRATED.

MANY CARS HAVE PASSED AND I BEGAN TO THINK IT WAS

IMPOSSIBLE THAT ONE WOULD STOP.

YOU SHOULD SEE YOURSELF.

I WOULDN'T GIVE YOU A RIDE FOR ANYTHING.

NOT FOR ALL THE UH, WHAT DO THEY SAY?

ALL THE TEA IN CHINA?

YUP, THAT'S WHAT THEY SAY...

[SLAPS]

THAT'LL TEACH YOU.

TEACH ME WHAT, OLD TIMER?

TEACH YOU NOT TO THROW HATS AT CARS.

I DON'T THROW HATS AT CARS.

WELL, IT'LL TEACH YOU TO FUCK WITH PEOPLE OR--

FUCK YOU!

-TEACH YOU NOT TO FUCK WITH PEOPLE.

FUCK YOU AND YOUR RUBBER- NECKING CAR COMPANIONS

AND IF YOU WANNA LEARN A LESSON, GO AHEAD AND

HIT ME AGAIN AND YOU'LL LEARN WHAT'S CALLED

A POWERFUL LESSON!

[BEEPS]

ALRIGHT.

I'M JUST GONNA HAVE A GOOD EVENING.

YOU HAVE A GREAT NIGHT.

JUST GONNA KEEP ON WALKING.

WHILE I'M WALKING, I'LL TELL MYSELF NOT TO

THROW HATS AT CARS! -HEY! HEY! JUST SO YOU KNOW!

YEAH?

YOU'VE RUINED A PERFECTLY GOOD EVENING WE WERE HAVING.

WE WERE CELEBRATING.

WHAT WERE YOU CELEBRATING?

I GRADUATED FROM VET SCHOOL TODAY.

I'M NOW A VETERINARIAN.

WE WERE CELEBRATING.

NOW, I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE DOING.

YOU LOVE ANIMALS?

MOSTLY ALL KINDS, YEAH.

BIRDS NOT SO MUCH.

THEY'RE LOUD AND DIFFICULT.

WHAT DO YOU DO?

I DON'T KNOW.

I'M REALLY JUST TRYING TO LEARN SPANISH RIGHT NOW,

ACTUALLY, I'M FOCUSED ON THAT.

AREN'T YOU A LITTLE OLD TO BE LEARNING SPANISH?

WELL, I DON'T THINK SO.

IT'S NEVER TOO LATE.

MAYBE IT'LL COME IN HANDY.

IT'LL COME IN HANDY?

IT'LL COME IN HANDY, WHEN? IN THE AFTERLIFE?

MAYBE, MAYBE SO!

DO YOU HAPPEN TO THINK THERE'S AN AFTERLIFE

FOR ANIMALS?

DO LAB EXPERIMENTS GO SOMEPLACE WHEN THEY DIE?

NOT A CHANCE.

BUT YOU DON'T KNOW THAT FOR SURE.

PRETTY SURE.

BUT NOT ABSOLUTELY SURE.

YOU KNOW WHAT THEY CALL THE RED PANDA IN EUROPE?

WHAT'S THAT?

YOU GO TO THE AUSTRIAN ZOO IN VIENNA

AND IT SAYS ON THE MAP, TWO KINDS OF PANDAS.

IT SAYS THE GREAT PANDA, WHICH IS BLACK AND WHITE,

AND IT SAYS THE LESSER PANDA, WHICH IS

THE RED PANDA.

WOW. -NOW, WHY DO YOU THINK

THEY WOULD CALL IT THE LESSER PANDA?

WHY?

NO, I'M ASKING.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

♪

♪

♪

♪

NO BODY LIVES FOREVER AND ONLY RECENTLY IT OCCURRED

TO ME, WHEN IMAGINING THE EVENT YOU'RE ATTENDING,

THAT I MIGHT HAVE AN OPPORTUNITY TO ASK THOSE

GATHERED WHAT YOU INTEND TO DO WITH THE REST OF

YOUR LIVES AND RATHER THAN EVADE OR AVOID AN ANSWER,

THE WEIGHT OF THE EVENT, THE FEEL OF AN ASSEMBLY,

MIGHT ACTUALLY PRODUCE ANSWERS AND RESULTS.

SO, IF YOU'RE HERE TO HONOR MY MEMORY,

PLEASE DO SO, BY COMPLYING.

GOD BLESS.

[SIGHS]

UH, I WAS HER ATTORNEY.

I KNEW SHE WANTED THIS AS A SERVICE SO,

I WAS A LITTLE PREPARED WHICH MIGHT NOT BE FAIR.

UH, I WANNA BE A GOOD FAMILY MAN.

THAT'S NOT REALLY WORKING OUT SO, I DON'T KNOW.

UM, AS I SAID, I KNEW IN ADVANCE.

[MELANCHOLIC MUSIC]

SHE WAS MY ONLY FRIEND IN THIS TERRIBLE PLACE.

I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO CONTINUE AND SINCE HER

DEATH, MY THOUGHTS MOSTLY TURN TO HOW I MIGHT TAKE

MY OWN LIFE WITH THE MOST EFFICIENCY AND CONVENIENCE

AND, IDEALLY, WITH THE HOPE THAT THE CAUSE OF

DEATH WILL APPEAR TO BE NATURAL.

I DON'T MEAN TO BE RUDE, BUT I'M GONNA PASS.

NOT A FAN.

I BEG YOUR PARDON?

THERE'S SOME PEOPLE HERE WHO MAYBE I'D FEEL BAD IF

THEY DIED, BUT--

SHE WAS A VERY... SHE WAS A VERY KIND WOMAN.

I MEAN, NOT TO ME PERSONALLY,

I-I DIDN'T KNOW HER.

IT'S NOT SURPRISING THAT SHE... SHE'D

PULL SOMETHING LIKE THIS UH.

AS SOME OF YOU KNOW, SHE LEFT ME SOME MONEY AND I

PLAN TO TAKE STEPS TOWARDS BEING AN ADULT WITH IT.

I'VE BEEN PUTTING OFF ROOT CANAL SURGERY AND I PLAN

TO TAKE CARE OF THAT.

SHE NEVER LIKED YOU.

UM, HI.

I WAS HER GRANDSON.

HI, I WAS HER GRANDSON.

I GUESS I'M HER GRANDSON STILL AND SHE'S MY ONLY

SURVIVING RELATIVE AND I KNOW SHE FELT ALONE A LOT

AND NOW I FEEL ALONE A LITTLE, TOO, AND SHE HELPED ME

A LOT.

AND I PLAN TO, I DUNNO, I LIKE WHERE I WORK OR,

I DUNNO, WORKED.

AND I'D LIKE TO DO MY WORK WELL.

USUALLY, I DON'T LIKE MY WORK.

I TEND NOT TO, BUT I LIKE MY BOSS.

SHE'S VERY HELPFUL AND SHE MAKES EVERYONE

FEEL JUST RIGHT SO THAT MAKES IT A PLACE THAT I LOOK

FORWARD GOING TO WHICH I'VE NEVER HAD BEFORE REALLY.

THIS IS UNSUAL.

I'VE NEVER STOOD IN A ROOM WITH A GROUP AND SAID

WHAT I WAS GONNA DO WITH MY LIFE.

EXCEPT IN GRADE SCHOOL WHEN WE ALL WANTED TO BE

ASTRONAUTS.

NO? NO ONE REMEMBERS THAT.

I'M GONNA WORK ON THE SPANISH THAT SHE SUGGESTED

I WORK ON AND UM, I DUNNO.

TRY TO BE A UH, GOOD OR BETTER PERSON.

THAT'S THE PLAN.

SORRY ABOUT YOUR GRANDMA.

LARRY, SO SORRY ABOUT YOUR GRANDMOTHER.

THANKS, YOU LOOK NICE.

THANK YOU.

YOU LOOK NICE, TOO.

LIKED, UH, LIKED WHAT YOU SAID AT THE SERVICE, LARRY.

THANK YOU, GEORGE. YOU LOOK NICE.

YEAH.

HERE, I KNEW IT WAS COMING AND YOU TOPPED ME.

YEAH, WELL, I LIKED WHAT YOU SAID.

NEVER BEEN MUCH GOOD IN FRONT OF CROWDS.

LITIGATION TERRIFIES ME STILL.

WELL, I WAS ABOUT TO SAY. -WELL...

HEY, UM, HAVE ANY ISSUES YOU HAVE WITH THE WILL NOW

THAT SOME OF IT'S SUNK IN?

I DON'T THINK SO. THE CAR IS GREAT.

ALRIGHT!

YOU GONNA KEEP ON WORKING HERE?

I DUNNO.

I'M SORRY I CAN'T STAY.

I HAVE ANOTHER SERVICE AT ELEVEN FIFTEEN,

BUT THANK YOU AGAIN.

OH, OH! I'LL WALK YOU OUT.

CALL IF YOU NEED ANYTHING, LARRY.

MR. NORWOOD, I'LL BE IN TOUCH.

YOU THINK I LOOK LIKE THAT RELIGIOUS MAN?

A LITTLE BIT.

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?

YOU'RE NOT GONNA KEEP WORKING HERE.

HMM, PROBABLY NOT.

I DON'T KNOW.

LOOK, LARRY, I KNOW THAT YOU LIKE HER.

I DON'T LIKE HER.

YOU LIKE HER. -I DON'T LIKE HER.

I KNOW... YOU DO LIKE HER.

I DON'T... I DON'T LIKE HER. -IT'S FINE.

I LIKE HER A LOT, TOO, IN A WAY THAT'S DIFFERENT

FROM ANYTHING I'VE EVER HAD.

AND NOW WITH THIS, IT'S--

HOW IS IT DIFFERENT FOR YOU?

IT'S DIFFERENT.

HOW IS IT DIFFERENT?

IT'S STRONGER.

I KNOW. I BELIEVE, I-I BELIEVE THAT IT IS DIFFERENT,

I JUST WANNA KNOW HOW.

I CAN FEEL... I FEEL THAT IT'S DIFFERENT.

YOU SAID THAT BEFORE, THOUGH.

I'M SAYING IT NOW AND I ACTUALLY MEAN IT.

GIVE ME A BREAK.

AND NOW, WITH THIS...

IT'S NOT DIFFERENT THAN ANYTHING.

I FEEL WEIRD.

WE SHOULD SPLIT THE MONEY.

NO, NO.

YES, WE SHOULD.

IT'D BE MORE FOR ME THAN YOU I THINK, I JUST...

NO.

NO, YOU WERE A GOOD FRIEND TO HER, YOU DIDN'T

PATRONIZE HER LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE HERE.

SHE SAW SOMETHING IN YOU.

YOU EARNED IT.

JUST PROMISE ME THAT IF YOU GO BEFORE I DO

WHICH YOU PROBABLY WILL, THAT I'LL GET IT.

HEY! I JUST GOT A CALL FROM MR. KAMINSKY.

SOMETHING HAPPENED. I HAVE TO GO TO WORK.

UH, CAN YOU GIVE ME A RIDE?

YEAH, I GUESS. SURE.

I CAN'T. IT'S LOCKED.

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO OPEN THE...

I HAD TO PARK LIKE THREE BLOCKS AWAY.

THIS CAR HAS SEAT WARMERS.

I PUT THREE QUARTERS ON THE DRIVER'S SIDE FLOOR,

RIGHT HERE SPECIFICALLY. -DUDE! WHO CARES!

YOUR CAR IS SIXTY-FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS.

THAT GUY. THAT GUY STEALS.

WE DIDN'T START GETTING COMPLAINTS UNTIL THAT GUY

STARTED WORKING HERE.

I DON'T STEAL. I JUST DON'T.

I SAW YOU DO IT.

YOU DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING.

DO YOU NOT GET THAT?

HEY, YOU BETTER BE CAREFUL.

[PUNCH]

[LAUGHS]

EVEN IF I WERE STEALING CHANGE AND AT A PRETTY

RAPID CLIP.

[COINS POURING OUT]

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

YOU KNOW, JIMMY, I DON'T THINK YOU'RE GRATEFUL FOR

THE OPPORTUNITIES YOU'VE BEEN GIVEN.

IN ANY CASE, THE LESSON I WILL TAKE AWAY IS

TO LOOK FOR MY OWN OPPORTUNITIES TO BE GRATEFUL

SO THANK YOU.

GRACIAS.

LET'S TRY TO KEEP THE POLICE AT BAY

FOR THE TIME BEING, OKAY?

YEAH.

YES? NO? SHOW OF HANDS.

THAT'S ONE, TWO...

I CALLED.

YOU CALLED THE POLICE?

[SIRENS]

[SCRUBBING]

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

♪

HEY, DINSMORE!

I CAME TO PICK UP MY CHECK.

WHY ARE YOU WEARING YOUR UNIFORM, LARRY?

EH, IT'S A LONG STORY.

WE DON'T WANT ANY TROUBLE.

IS THAT WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO SAY?

OH, I DON'T EITHER.

I JUST WANNA PICK UP MY CHECK AND GO.

I ASSUME THERE'S A CHECK FOR ME SOMEWHERE?

THERE WAS.

HERE WE GO.

ALRIGHT!

OH!

MY GOD!

THANKS, MARV.

SEE YOU AROUND SOON, EH?

YOU'RE A GOOD GUY.

SALT OF THE EARTH.

WONDERFUL! YOU'VE BROUGHT THE ICE.

I'M BACK!

I'M BACK EVERYBODY.

GOOD TO SEE YA. HOW ARE YA?

SO, IF BACHELORETTE PARTY COMES IN...

HEY, DON!

I'M SORRY I KEYED YOUR CAR.

I CAN'T PAY YOU FOR IT, BUT I FIGURED IF YOU'D

LIKE YOU CAN, WELL, TAKE A LOOK, YOU CAN KEY MY CAR

BACK IF YOU LIKE.

WHAT WOULD THE POINT BE OF KEYING THAT SHIT BOX?

EH, I GOT A NEW CAR.

WHERE DID YOU GET THIS?

MY GRANDMOTHER DIED AND LEFT IT TO ME.

SHE DIDN'T LEAVE ME ANY MONEY OR I'D PAY YOU

TO PAINT YOUR CAR.

WE DON'T WANT ANY TROUBLE HERE.

YOU MENTIONED THAT.

I KNOW, I KNOW.

I CAN'T... IT'S ALL THAT COMES OUT.

YOU SURE ABOUT THIS, LARRY?

YEAH.

[KEYS JINGLING]

WHY YOU STILL WEARING YOUR UNIFORM?

[KNOCKING]

HELLO.

OH, HEY, LARRY!

HOW ARE YOU?

UM, I THINK I NEED A NEW SHIRT.

OH, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU HAVE YOUR JOB BACK?

I DUNNO CAUSE YOU'RE NICE.

[LAUGHS]

UHH...

THESE DON'T GROW ON TREES, LARRY.

THANK YOU.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

HEY!

YOU'RE WEARING YOUR BUCA SHIRT.

YEAH.

EXCUSE ME ONE SECOND.

OH, HEY! [PHONE RINGING]

THANK YOU.

[PHONE RINGING]

SO I QUIT MY JOB.

REALLY?

YUP.

SEEMS SILLY.

NO MORE SENIOR DISCOUNTS. [PHONE RINGING]

I'LL BE OUT THERE.

OKAY.

[PHONE RINGING]

HEY, YOU KNOW HOW TO DO THIS BY NOW, RIGHT, LARRY?

I THINK SO.

SO, ARE YOU QUITTING, TOO?

NO, LARRY, I LIKE THIS JOB A LOT.

OH BOY.

[SNORTING]

[SOFT ROCK MUSIC]

♪

♪ THIS MELLOW, SWEET, SHORT HAIRED BOY WOMAN OFFERS, ♪

♪ PULL UP A SEAT

♪ TAKE IN ONE SYMPHONY NOW, ♪

♪ WE'VE JUST BEGUN TO BATTLE ♪

♪ WRAP YOUR HEEL IN BONES OF STEEL, ♪

♪ TURN THE LAKE A TWIST OF COLOR ♪

♪ AUTUMN WAITED, HOLD IT TO YOU, ♪

♪ SWIM THE COLOR, COME ANOTHER ♪

♪ SEVEN CHINESE BROTHERS SWALLOW IN THE OCEAN ♪

♪ SEVEN THOUSAND YEARS TO SLEEP AWAY THE PAIN ♪

♪ SHE'LL RETURN, SHE WILL RETURN ♪

♪

♪ THIS MELLOW, SWEET, SHORT HAIRED BOY WOMAN OFFERS, ♪

♪ PULL UP A SEAT

♪ TAKE IN ONE SYMPHONY NOW, ♪

♪ WE'VE JUST BEGUN TO BATTLE ♪

♪ WRAP YOUR HEEL IN BONES OF STEEL, ♪

♪ TURN THE LAKE A TWIST OF COLOR ♪

♪ AUTUMN WADED SEVEN SEAS, ♪

♪ SWIM IN COLOR, BECOME ANOTHER ♪

♪ SEVEN CHINESE BROTHERS SWALLOW IN THE OCEAN ♪

♪ SEVEN THOUSAND YEARS TO SLEEP AWAY THE PAIN ♪

♪ SHE WILL RETURN, SHE'LL RETURN ♪

♪

♪

♪ THIS MELLOW, SWEET, SHORT HAIRED BOY WOMAN OFFERS, ♪

♪ PULL UP A CHAIR

♪ TAKE IN ONE SYMPHONY NOW, ♪

♪ I GUESS WE LOST THAT BATTLE ♪

♪ WRAP YOUR HEEL IN BONES OF STEEL, ♪

♪ TURN THE GRAY A TWIST OF COLOR ♪

♪ AUTUMN WADED SEVEN SEAS, ♪

♪ SWIM IN COLOR, BECOME ANOTHER ♪

♪ SEVEN CHINESE BROTHERS SWALLOW IN THE OCEAN ♪

♪ SEVEN THOUSAND YEARS TO FORM A UNITED RAIN ♪

♪ SHE WILL RETURN, SHE WILL RETURN ♪

♪ SHE WILL RETURN, SHE WILL RETURN ♪

♪ SHE WILL RETURN, SHE WILL RETURN ♪

♪

♪