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1
00:02:04,541 --> 00:02:07,544
"The night was..."
2
00:02:19,097 --> 00:02:21,224
(thunder)
3
00:02:23,060 --> 00:02:26,104
"The night was..."
4
00:02:41,787 --> 00:02:44,039
"The night..."
5
00:03:11,274 --> 00:03:13,318
(grunts)
6
00:03:13,485 --> 00:03:15,737
The Phantom of the Novel...
7
00:03:15,904 --> 00:03:18,949
...is coming to haunt
the pages of Larry Donner.
8
00:03:28,083 --> 00:03:30,585
Jeez, what the hell am I doing?
9
00:03:36,466 --> 00:03:39,428
Hello, Op. Remember me?
Professor Blank?
10
00:03:39,594 --> 00:03:43,306
We're back. Well, I'm sure
you all know the name Margaret Donner.
11
00:03:43,473 --> 00:03:45,642
- Unless you live under a rock.
- No!
12
00:03:45,809 --> 00:03:50,939
Ladies and gentlemen, the author
of the best-selling novel "Hot Fire".
13
00:03:51,106 --> 00:03:55,652
- Author of the best-selling novel?
- You must be very proud of yourself.
14
00:03:55,819 --> 00:03:58,697
- Well, l... lam.
- The woman stole my book!
15
00:03:58,864 --> 00:04:01,950
- What's to be proud of?
- ...and there's just you...
16
00:04:02,117 --> 00:04:06,496
...you facing you in that mirror,
do you say "Margaret, you did it"?
17
00:04:07,038 --> 00:04:09,166
- Yes, I do.
- Slut!
18
00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:12,377
She's a slut! Look at her! Slut!
19
00:04:12,544 --> 00:04:16,506
- Hey! Hey, man, your wife's on TV!
- Ex-wife, Lester. Ex-wife.
20
00:04:16,673 --> 00:04:19,134
- She looks good!
- Criminals don't age, Lester.
21
00:04:19,301 --> 00:04:20,761
It's a common fact.
22
00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:24,431
- What the hell do you want?
- Something for a gig.
23
00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:27,392
- You got anything in green?
- You borrowed all my green.
24
00:04:28,185 --> 00:04:31,772
It is a lot more difficult for women
to get themselves published...
25
00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:35,025
How about women thieves, Oprah?
Big difference.
26
00:04:35,192 --> 00:04:38,862
I would say that, once I was
divorced...
27
00:04:39,029 --> 00:04:40,113
...blissfully divorced...
28
00:04:41,031 --> 00:04:45,869
...a freedom overcame me, and I was
allowed to be the writer, the artist...
29
00:04:46,036 --> 00:04:50,749
...that I was never allowed to be within
the confines of my prison-like marriage.
30
00:04:50,916 --> 00:04:54,377
Did you think about writing
when you were with this beast?
31
00:04:54,544 --> 00:04:56,546
- Well, I did. I did, yes.
- (laughter)
32
00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:59,716
Because he fancied himself
a sort of a hack writer.
33
00:04:59,883 --> 00:05:01,968
I watched him at
the typewriter and thought:
34
00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:04,721
Oh, God, I can do that in spades.
35
00:05:04,888 --> 00:05:06,181
Then did, clearly.
36
00:05:06,348 --> 00:05:09,559
How do you think he will feel now
about your success?
37
00:05:09,851 --> 00:05:11,937
Frankly, I don't
really care how he feels.
38
00:05:12,103 --> 00:05:13,563
(laughter)
39
00:05:13,730 --> 00:05:18,151
- Well, Margaret...
- (applause)
40
00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:21,446
So she stole your book.
Write another one and forget it.
41
00:05:21,613 --> 00:05:23,448
- I am writing.
- Oh, you're writing?
42
00:05:23,615 --> 00:05:26,243
- Yes, I am.
- Yeah, right! "The night was..."
43
00:05:27,035 --> 00:05:29,079
- The night was what?
- I just started.
44
00:05:29,246 --> 00:05:31,832
You been on "The night was"
since July.
45
00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:33,416
It takes place in the Yukon.
46
00:05:33,583 --> 00:05:36,545
...severed the ties.
You live in Hawaii now.
47
00:05:36,711 --> 00:05:40,298
- Yes. I just adore a tropical climate.
- Look at those earrings, man!
48
00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:42,592
It's your money.
49
00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:46,596
How was it that you, Margaret Donner...
50
00:05:46,763 --> 00:05:52,727
...produced such a brilliant piece of
writing in... just your first time out?
51
00:05:54,145 --> 00:05:57,274
Well, Oprah, I mean...
it's the story of my life.
52
00:05:57,440 --> 00:06:00,443
It's my life, Margaret!
And I want it back!
53
00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:04,823
"Hot Fire," ladies and gentlemen. Thank
you so much for being on the show.
54
00:06:04,990 --> 00:06:07,742
- My pleasure.
- I want it back!
55
00:06:09,786 --> 00:06:11,788
- Owen!
- (thunder)
56
00:06:11,955 --> 00:06:13,790
Owen!
57
00:06:14,124 --> 00:06:15,959
Owen!
58
00:06:17,085 --> 00:06:20,964
Owen! Owen!
59
00:06:21,131 --> 00:06:24,175
- What?!
- Get me a soda with some ice in it!
60
00:06:25,969 --> 00:06:27,554
- Owen, hurry up!
- Momma...
61
00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:30,807
- Chop chop, Owen! Come on!
- All right!
62
00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:38,356
- You were writing a letter!
- No, Momma!
63
00:06:38,523 --> 00:06:42,944
You were writing to tell them to take me
away! You want them to take me away!
64
00:06:43,111 --> 00:06:47,449
I'm writin' a story for class, Momma!
I don't want 'em to take you away!
65
00:06:47,616 --> 00:06:49,993
- Yes, you do!
- Owen loves his momma!
66
00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:52,162
(mimics) "Owen loves his momma."
67
00:06:52,329 --> 00:06:56,499
(singsong) Owen loves his momma,
Owen loves his momma...
68
00:07:20,690 --> 00:07:23,151
- Hurry up with that soda!
- Coming, Momma.
69
00:07:23,318 --> 00:07:27,238
(mimics) "Coming, Momma."
I'm choking to death, you moron!
70
00:07:27,530 --> 00:07:30,617
- You're too damn slow!
- I'm sorry, Momma.
71
00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:32,202
(mimics) "I'm sorry, Momma."
72
00:07:33,370 --> 00:07:37,040
- Where are the salted nuts?
- The salted ones are no good for you.
73
00:07:37,207 --> 00:07:39,376
The unsalted ones make me choke!
74
00:07:49,678 --> 00:07:53,515
Aarrghhh!
75
00:07:57,394 --> 00:07:58,436
Momma!
76
00:08:00,563 --> 00:08:03,316
You clumsy poop!
What'd you do that for?
77
00:08:09,572 --> 00:08:12,075
Come on, move it, lard-ass!
78
00:08:14,369 --> 00:08:16,413
Pick up every piece!
79
00:08:27,465 --> 00:08:28,925
(woman) "'Dive...
80
00:08:29,092 --> 00:08:32,470
...dive!' yelled the captain
through the thing."
81
00:08:33,304 --> 00:08:38,935
"So the man who makes it dive pressed
a button or something and it dove...
82
00:08:39,102 --> 00:08:42,313
...and the enemy was foiled again."
83
00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:46,234
"'Looks like we foiled them again'
said Dave."
84
00:08:46,401 --> 00:08:48,695
"'Yeah' said the captain."
85
00:08:49,112 --> 00:08:53,408
"'We foiled those bastards again,
didn't we, Dave?"'
86
00:08:53,950 --> 00:08:55,994
"'Yeah' said Dave."
87
00:08:56,953 --> 00:08:59,039
"The end."
88
00:09:00,123 --> 00:09:01,166
OK.
89
00:09:02,792 --> 00:09:05,795
Here we have all the elements of drama.
90
00:09:06,796 --> 00:09:11,092
We have the tension,
the horror of war...
91
00:09:11,259 --> 00:09:13,595
Uh... Mrs. Hazeltine,
92
00:09:13,762 --> 00:09:16,598
when you're writing a novel
that takes place on a submarine...
93
00:09:16,765 --> 00:09:20,727
...it's not a bad idea to know
the name of the instrument...
94
00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:22,937
...that the captain speaks through.
95
00:09:23,104 --> 00:09:25,315
- I used to know that.
- And your similes...
96
00:09:25,482 --> 00:09:27,901
...need a little work.
97
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:32,489
"His guts oozed nice
like a melted malted."
98
00:09:33,782 --> 00:09:36,326
Well, it's, um... a little...
99
00:09:36,493 --> 00:09:38,912
- Too harsh?
- A tad.
100
00:09:39,329 --> 00:09:41,664
Otherwise it was, um...
101
00:09:41,831 --> 00:09:43,833
...very good, it was, uh...
102
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:45,335
...very real.
103
00:09:53,510 --> 00:09:56,721
Here's another one.
This is a real classic by Mr. Pinsky.
104
00:09:56,888 --> 00:10:00,683
It's entitled
100 Girls I'd Like to Pork.
105
00:10:02,227 --> 00:10:03,228
Pork?
106
00:10:04,187 --> 00:10:06,648
It's a coffee-table book.
107
00:10:07,398 --> 00:10:10,276
100 Girls I'd Like to... hm.
108
00:10:13,196 --> 00:10:15,406
"Chapter 1: Kathleen Turner."
109
00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:19,869
"Chapter 2: Cybill Shepherd.
Chapter 3: Suzanne Pleshette."
110
00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:23,706
"Chapter 4: The Girl
in the Taco Commercial."
111
00:10:24,499 --> 00:10:29,003
"Chapter 5: The Woman in 4B.
Chapter 6: The Oriental Laker Girl."
112
00:10:29,170 --> 00:10:31,172
"Chapter 7: Chris..."
113
00:10:31,339 --> 00:10:33,675
Mr. Pinsky, this is not literature.
114
00:10:33,842 --> 00:10:37,470
Well, you know,
I would put in photographs...
115
00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:41,558
...a brief character sketch,
like a biography...
116
00:10:41,724 --> 00:10:43,852
...and a nice dust jacket.
117
00:10:44,018 --> 00:10:48,398
- Mr. Pinsky, what is this?
- It's... literature. It's a fantasy.
118
00:10:48,565 --> 00:10:52,068
Like Melville. This is
my great white whale.
119
00:10:52,235 --> 00:10:55,280
- It's whacking material.
- Isn't that literature?
120
00:10:55,905 --> 00:11:00,368
How do you associate Moby Dick to a list
of women you'd like to have sex with?
121
00:11:00,535 --> 00:11:03,246
- I think it's brave.
- (Mrs. Hazeltine) He's vulgar.
122
00:11:03,413 --> 00:11:05,540
- They said Twain was.
- I'm saying he is.
123
00:11:05,707 --> 00:11:08,209
- I think you're vulgar.
- You're a no-talent shit.
124
00:11:08,376 --> 00:11:11,462
- Maybe I should change the title.
- (man) I like the title.
125
00:11:11,629 --> 00:11:14,215
- (bell)
- OK, I'll see you Wednesday, class.
126
00:11:14,382 --> 00:11:17,927
Good work today. Remember,
a writer writes... always.
127
00:12:00,803 --> 00:12:01,971
Argh! Oh!
128
00:12:02,138 --> 00:12:04,307
- This is your tie.
- Oh, God.
129
00:12:04,474 --> 00:12:07,352
- You dropped it.
- Oh. How'd that get in there?
130
00:12:08,186 --> 00:12:11,397
It got wet. I was afraid
it would be ruined.
131
00:12:11,898 --> 00:12:12,899
Thanks.
132
00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:15,485
- Hi. I'm Owen.
- I know.
133
00:12:15,652 --> 00:12:18,112
Why didn't you read my story in class?
134
00:12:18,988 --> 00:12:22,242
- Your story?
- Yeah. Murder at my Friend Harry's.
135
00:12:22,408 --> 00:12:24,661
Why didn't you read it?
136
00:12:24,827 --> 00:12:27,830
- I did.
- You did? What'd you think of it?
137
00:12:28,873 --> 00:12:31,501
It's raining, lrvvin.
Can't we discuss it tomorrow?
138
00:12:31,668 --> 00:12:34,462
Owen. Didn't you like it?
139
00:12:34,629 --> 00:12:37,924
- Well... no. No, I didn't.
- Why not?
140
00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:41,511
It was three pages long.
It was a murder mystery...
141
00:12:41,678 --> 00:12:45,014
...that, by the way, was no big trick
in finding the murderer.
142
00:12:45,181 --> 00:12:47,892
- What gave it away?
- You only had two characters...
143
00:12:48,059 --> 00:12:50,937
...one of which was dead on page two!
144
00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:52,772
Well, one guy killed the other guy.
145
00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:57,235
- It wasn't motivated!
- Sure it was.
146
00:12:57,402 --> 00:13:00,280
A guy in a hat killed
the other guy in a hat.
147
00:13:01,197 --> 00:13:03,324
I have to go now, Owen.
148
00:13:09,038 --> 00:13:10,039
Thanks.
149
00:13:10,873 --> 00:13:11,874
- (bleep)
- Hi, Beth. It's me.
150
00:13:12,041 --> 00:13:16,713
It's, uh... 10130... and I did it
again. I'm sorry.
151
00:13:16,879 --> 00:13:20,258
It's just that... Margaret was on the...
152
00:13:20,425 --> 00:13:23,011
Oy, there I go again. It's...
153
00:13:23,177 --> 00:13:26,264
I'll... Look, I'm sorry. That's all.
Bye.
154
00:13:26,597 --> 00:13:27,598
(tuts)
155
00:13:32,562 --> 00:13:35,231
So Margaret's a big star. That's life.
156
00:13:35,398 --> 00:13:38,276
This is life, too.
That goes on, this goes on.
157
00:13:41,070 --> 00:13:42,155
Hm.
158
00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:44,282
The night was hot.
159
00:13:44,449 --> 00:13:47,535
Wait, no. The night... The night was...
160
00:13:48,244 --> 00:13:50,455
...humid! The night was humid.
161
00:13:50,621 --> 00:13:53,708
No, wait. Hot. Hot! The night was hot.
162
00:13:53,875 --> 00:13:56,085
The night was hot and wet. Wet and hot.
163
00:13:56,252 --> 00:13:59,255
The night was wet and hot... hot and
wet... That's humid.
164
00:13:59,422 --> 00:14:00,340
The night was humid.
165
00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:04,385
Maybe the night isn't humid.
Maybe... the night isn't humid.
166
00:14:04,552 --> 00:14:08,139
Maybe it was humid in the morning
and at night it was cold.
167
00:14:08,306 --> 00:14:09,265
That gives you fog.
168
00:14:09,432 --> 00:14:11,059
Ha! The night was f099Y-
169
00:14:11,225 --> 00:14:15,480
The night... The night was...
The night was...
170
00:14:15,646 --> 00:14:19,233
The night... The night was dry,
yet it was raining.
171
00:14:20,068 --> 00:14:21,903
The... The... The...
172
00:14:22,070 --> 00:14:24,405
The streets were wet...
173
00:14:24,572 --> 00:14:27,617
...but the night... was as bright...
174
00:14:27,784 --> 00:14:29,619
...as...the...
175
00:14:29,786 --> 00:14:33,956
...earrings in Margaret Donner's ears!
My God! I'm goin' outta my mind!
176
00:14:34,123 --> 00:14:35,458
Fuck it!
177
00:14:35,625 --> 00:14:38,795
The... night... was... humid!
178
00:14:39,420 --> 00:14:40,922
That's it and that's all.
179
00:14:41,089 --> 00:14:42,465
(grunts)
180
00:14:50,348 --> 00:14:54,936
Stop it, damn it!
I got a wax ball in my ear. Get it out.
181
00:14:56,145 --> 00:14:59,440
- Momma!
- You were writing to her, weren't you?
182
00:14:59,607 --> 00:15:02,527
Don't start that again, Momma.
And don't hit me!
183
00:15:02,693 --> 00:15:06,489
- You love her.
- There's no "her", Momma.
184
00:15:07,824 --> 00:15:11,786
- You were writing a letter.
- I'm writin' a story for class, Momma.
185
00:15:11,953 --> 00:15:15,331
- I take a class. I take a nice class.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
186
00:15:15,498 --> 00:15:19,544
- And I'm gonna be a writer some day.
- You know how that typing upsets me.
187
00:15:19,710 --> 00:15:22,213
I'm sorry, Momma. A writer writes.
188
00:15:22,380 --> 00:15:25,341
You're gonna be nothing.
You're gonna be nothing.
189
00:15:25,508 --> 00:15:27,009
You'll never get to first base.
190
00:15:27,176 --> 00:15:31,055
All you do is type, type,
type, type, type!
191
00:15:31,806 --> 00:15:34,767
You sit there typing all day
like a fat little pigeon.
192
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:37,687
You won't ever hear it again, Momma.
193
00:15:37,854 --> 00:15:39,689
I promise.
194
00:15:43,526 --> 00:15:46,154
Aarrghhh!
195
00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:48,614
- Momma...
- I think you got it, sonny.
196
00:15:48,781 --> 00:15:52,702
I don't know what I'd do
without you, Owen baby.
197
00:15:55,663 --> 00:15:58,875
- I know, Momma.
- Owen, my little baby.
198
00:15:59,041 --> 00:16:02,003
- I know.
- Owen, my little baby boy.
199
00:16:03,754 --> 00:16:07,550
(Owen) And even though
he was mortally wounded,
200
00:16:07,717 --> 00:16:10,553
the guy in the hat got up...
201
00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:15,057
...and pulled himself up and...
202
00:16:15,224 --> 00:16:20,396
...staggered out into the dark night...
203
00:16:20,563 --> 00:16:23,024
...like a milkman...
204
00:16:23,191 --> 00:16:26,068
...going out on his route.
205
00:16:27,236 --> 00:16:28,696
(man) There he is, Owen.
206
00:16:28,863 --> 00:16:32,241
- Professor Donner...
- Not now, Owen. Another time.
207
00:16:34,952 --> 00:16:36,537
- Beth...
- Don't bother.
208
00:16:36,704 --> 00:16:39,665
- I gotta talk to you.
- You're 16 hours late.
209
00:16:40,374 --> 00:16:43,836
And I'm sorry. It's just that...
she was on the television.
210
00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:45,922
Margaret was on TV
and my mind went nuts.
211
00:16:46,088 --> 00:16:49,550
My mind went crazy. I saw
nothing but hate and death.
212
00:16:49,717 --> 00:16:53,095
And I'm sorry, and I did call.
I called you around 10:30.
213
00:16:53,262 --> 00:16:56,140
- Where were you?
- Did you think I'd stay in all night...
214
00:16:56,307 --> 00:16:58,434
...staring at my tandoori chicken?
215
00:16:59,769 --> 00:17:03,272
I know you're angry and...
you have every right to be angry.
216
00:17:03,439 --> 00:17:05,525
It's just that I...
217
00:17:09,987 --> 00:17:12,782
- It's my class.
- Ah. How do you do?
218
00:17:12,949 --> 00:17:14,617
(all) Hi.
219
00:17:14,784 --> 00:17:17,662
- What's your name?
- Beth Ryan.
220
00:17:17,828 --> 00:17:19,789
She teaches anthropology.
221
00:17:19,956 --> 00:17:21,499
Beth... Ryan?
222
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:25,461
Don't even think about it.
223
00:17:25,628 --> 00:17:26,837
(man) Hang in there, Pinsky.
224
00:17:31,509 --> 00:17:36,389
Come on. I'm sorry. Do you know that
we are this far away from having a date?
225
00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:37,640
We're just this far.
226
00:17:37,807 --> 00:17:39,809
- (as Beth) Hello, you're late.
- I'm sorry.
227
00:17:39,976 --> 00:17:44,438
- You probably made tandoori chicken.
- (as Beth) Come on in, Larry. Oh...
228
00:17:44,605 --> 00:17:48,150
Come on, gimme a second chance.
What do you say? Come on!
229
00:17:48,317 --> 00:17:52,238
- I can't believe I'm saying this. Yes.
- Yeah? Great!
230
00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:54,740
Professor Donner,
I saw your wife on Oprah!
231
00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:56,409
Ex-wife. Ex!
232
00:17:57,285 --> 00:17:58,828
What's with him?
233
00:18:00,454 --> 00:18:02,790
(sighs) I can't get over this.
234
00:18:02,957 --> 00:18:05,376
- Why?
- Why? Why?!
235
00:18:05,543 --> 00:18:08,004
She steals my book! OK?
236
00:18:08,170 --> 00:18:10,089
- She goes on national television...
- I'm not gonna sit here
237
00:18:10,256 --> 00:18:11,841
and be barked at.
238
00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:16,012
Wait. Listen to me, Beth.
The problem is...
239
00:18:16,178 --> 00:18:19,640
...I can't write. I'm dead inside.
I have no passion.
240
00:18:19,807 --> 00:18:24,061
You have passion. When you talk
about Margaret, you have passion.
241
00:18:24,228 --> 00:18:25,438
Slut!
242
00:18:26,981 --> 00:18:28,983
No, my ex-wife is a major slut.
243
00:18:29,150 --> 00:18:31,360
- But you're not a slut.
- Thank you!
244
00:18:31,527 --> 00:18:36,657
I'm talking about passion!
It's selfless, committed, overflowing!
245
00:18:36,824 --> 00:18:38,826
Not hate and murder!
246
00:18:38,993 --> 00:18:42,163
And slut! I hate her!
I wish she was dead!
247
00:18:53,257 --> 00:18:54,508
Chill out.
248
00:18:56,385 --> 00:18:57,386
Thank you.
249
00:18:58,346 --> 00:19:00,222
It's so beautiful!
250
00:19:01,057 --> 00:19:03,559
It's very good, Phil. Very, very good.
251
00:19:03,726 --> 00:19:08,189
Forty yards of Naugahyde, a girl
and a dream. What can I say? It's...
252
00:19:08,356 --> 00:19:10,691
Well, I wrote it just like I lived it.
253
00:19:10,858 --> 00:19:13,819
Which is what you've been
teaching us: to write what we know.
254
00:19:14,570 --> 00:19:18,824
It's very good. It'll blow the lid off
the upholstery business as we know it.
255
00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:21,327
- Thank you.
- OK.
256
00:19:22,912 --> 00:19:28,417
Next is Murder at my Friend Harry's
by Owen... Lift.
257
00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:36,050
"Chapter 1. The night was humid."
258
00:19:37,718 --> 00:19:38,844
Class dismissed.
259
00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:42,932
I have an enormous headache in my eye.
260
00:19:58,280 --> 00:19:59,573
Yuck.
261
00:20:16,632 --> 00:20:18,426
(sighs)
262
00:20:45,453 --> 00:20:47,496
(car door closes)
263
00:20:56,839 --> 00:20:58,716
(Larry) I'm so sorry
about the cafeteria.
264
00:20:58,883 --> 00:21:01,135
It was Norman Bates in concert.
265
00:21:01,302 --> 00:21:04,889
It's just that I see her and I...
266
00:21:05,055 --> 00:21:07,683
- You wanna kill her.
- Metaphorically, yes.
267
00:21:07,850 --> 00:21:10,352
Specifically, without a doubt.
268
00:21:12,354 --> 00:21:15,816
- I'm glad you called.
- Me, too.
269
00:21:15,983 --> 00:21:17,693
I like trains.
270
00:21:17,860 --> 00:21:21,572
Every great romance or mystery
has a train in it.
271
00:21:21,739 --> 00:21:24,200
- Is this gonna be a great romance?
- Could be.
272
00:21:24,366 --> 00:21:29,246
We have a train, we have the moon,
we have compatible body parts.
273
00:21:29,413 --> 00:21:32,208
- Would you like to kiss me?
- I don't know.
274
00:21:32,374 --> 00:21:34,418
You don't know?
275
00:21:37,046 --> 00:21:38,464
Oh, you're so sweet, Beth.
276
00:21:39,548 --> 00:21:41,884
Oh, Larry, would you like to date me?
277
00:21:42,051 --> 00:21:47,389
- This isn't a date?
- Mmm... I was speaking euphemistically.
278
00:21:47,556 --> 00:21:50,726
- So you're... you're saying...?
- Yeah, yeah.
279
00:21:50,893 --> 00:21:54,230
So you're saying...?
Yeah, you are. I can feel that.
280
00:21:56,899 --> 00:22:00,694
- You're saying no?
- Kids are gonna sit here tomorrow.
281
00:22:00,861 --> 00:22:02,905
Awvvw...
282
00:22:04,573 --> 00:22:07,076
- I wanna make love to you, Beth.
- Oh, Larry...
283
00:22:07,243 --> 00:22:09,411
Sometime in the very near future.
284
00:22:09,578 --> 00:22:12,081
- Huh?
- I can't.
285
00:22:12,248 --> 00:22:14,291
- What?
- I have writer's block.
286
00:22:14,458 --> 00:22:17,253
- Everywhere?
- Yeah. It's no good. I can't.
287
00:22:19,630 --> 00:22:23,259
- On the train?
- Oh, I wanna ring the bell.
288
00:22:23,425 --> 00:22:25,427
(moans and sighs)
289
00:22:30,099 --> 00:22:32,101
- (Beth) Oh, take me, Casey.
- Who?
290
00:22:32,268 --> 00:22:34,103
- Take me, Casey.
- I'm taking you, I'm taking you.
291
00:22:34,270 --> 00:22:36,564
Take me, oh God...
292
00:22:41,610 --> 00:22:43,737
- Hi.
-on, God!
293
00:22:45,781 --> 00:22:48,450
Do you know Owen?
This is Owen. Owen is a dead man.
294
00:22:48,617 --> 00:22:52,246
- Did I come at a bad time?
- Owen... I'm dating.
295
00:22:53,122 --> 00:22:55,457
You read it, right? My story?
296
00:22:55,624 --> 00:22:58,002
- Yes.
- Good.
297
00:22:58,794 --> 00:23:02,214
Owen, you cannot follow me around
asking me questions.
298
00:23:02,381 --> 00:23:06,594
This stuff belongs in the classroom.
Not on my time. Do you understand me?
299
00:23:07,428 --> 00:23:09,305
Oh.
300
00:23:09,471 --> 00:23:11,599
I'm sorry.
301
00:23:12,308 --> 00:23:13,642
Good night, Miss Ryan.
302
00:23:17,897 --> 00:23:19,899
- Did you like it?
- No!
303
00:23:23,152 --> 00:23:25,112
(ringing)
304
00:23:25,696 --> 00:23:27,823
(Owen) Why didn't you like it?
305
00:23:28,073 --> 00:23:32,828
Because in a novel people have to have
more of a reason to commit a murder.
306
00:23:32,995 --> 00:23:34,496
If they just do it
because they're crazy,
307
00:23:34,663 --> 00:23:36,957
it's not strong enough for a novel.
308
00:23:37,124 --> 00:23:39,877
You mean, if someone
ruined you permanently,
309
00:23:40,044 --> 00:23:41,337
then you could murder 'em?
310
00:23:41,503 --> 00:23:43,505
Yes. Which brings us
to the second point.
311
00:23:43,672 --> 00:23:46,050
The motive: you have to eliminate it.
312
00:23:46,717 --> 00:23:51,013
- Eliminate the motive.
- Correct. I'll give you an example.
313
00:23:51,180 --> 00:23:53,849
My ex-wife. I hate her guts, right?
314
00:23:54,016 --> 00:23:58,771
Yeah. I overheard you in the cafeteria.
She really ruined you.
315
00:23:58,938 --> 00:24:03,275
Yes, she did. And I hate her with
a passion. But I would never murder her.
316
00:24:04,151 --> 00:24:06,570
- You'd get caught.
- Absolutely right.
317
00:24:06,737 --> 00:24:10,658
I would get caught because
I have a motive and people know that.
318
00:24:11,533 --> 00:24:14,161
I got a similar problem with my momma.
319
00:24:15,037 --> 00:24:16,288
Well, look at this, Owen.
320
00:24:16,455 --> 00:24:19,458
This is amazing. You and I
have something in common.
321
00:24:20,709 --> 00:24:21,627
We do?
322
00:24:21,794 --> 00:24:24,296
Absolutely. Think about what I'm saying.
323
00:24:24,463 --> 00:24:26,757
And then you just draw on
your own personal experiences.
324
00:24:27,758 --> 00:24:32,054
You mean... how do you murder
and not get caught?
325
00:24:32,221 --> 00:24:33,681
So how do you not get caught?
326
00:24:35,557 --> 00:24:38,060
Owen? How do you not get caught?
327
00:24:38,227 --> 00:24:41,730
By eliminating the motive
and establishing an alibi.
328
00:24:43,232 --> 00:24:47,194
- How?
- I can't tell you everything, Owen.
329
00:24:47,361 --> 00:24:49,571
I don't know. Go see a Hitchcock film.
330
00:24:49,738 --> 00:24:51,323
Wanna go to the movies with me?
331
00:24:51,490 --> 00:24:55,327
No, I don't wanna go to the movies.
It's real late and I...
332
00:24:55,494 --> 00:24:58,497
I'm gonna go now.
You're gonna be fine. OK?
333
00:24:59,999 --> 00:25:01,667
- Thank you, Professor Donner.
- Good night, Owen.
334
00:25:05,754 --> 00:25:08,048
Eliminate the motive.
335
00:25:08,924 --> 00:25:10,426
Eliminate...
336
00:25:10,592 --> 00:25:12,594
Elim...
337
00:25:12,761 --> 00:25:14,888
Eliminate the motive.
338
00:25:16,265 --> 00:25:18,308
Motive.
339
00:25:19,727 --> 00:25:21,603
Hitchcock.
340
00:25:22,146 --> 00:25:24,773
(man) Let's say that you'd like
to get rid of your wife.
341
00:25:24,940 --> 00:25:27,443
Let's say that you have
a very good reason.
342
00:25:27,609 --> 00:25:30,529
- No, let's not...
- No, no. Let's say.
343
00:25:30,696 --> 00:25:34,324
You'd be afraid to kill her.
You know why? You'd get caught.
344
00:25:34,491 --> 00:25:37,828
And what would trip you up?
The motive.
345
00:25:38,328 --> 00:25:42,875
Ah. Now here's my idea.
It's so simple, too.
346
00:25:43,459 --> 00:25:46,962
Two fellows meet accidentally,
like you and me.
347
00:25:47,129 --> 00:25:50,799
Each one has somebody
that he'd like to get rid of.
348
00:25:51,258 --> 00:25:54,178
So... they swap murders.
349
00:25:54,636 --> 00:25:58,766
- Swap murders? (laughs)
- Each fellow does the other's murder.
350
00:25:58,932 --> 00:26:02,728
Then there's nothing to connect them.
Each one has murdered a total stranger.
351
00:26:02,978 --> 00:26:06,190
Like... you do my murder, I do yours.
352
00:26:07,149 --> 00:26:09,985
Your wife, my father. Crisscross.
353
00:26:10,152 --> 00:26:13,739
Some people are better off dead.
Each one has murdered a total stranger.
354
00:26:13,906 --> 00:26:17,159
They swap murders.
You do my murder. Crisscross.
355
00:26:17,326 --> 00:26:18,285
I do yours.
356
00:26:18,452 --> 00:26:20,954
They swap murders. Crisscross.
357
00:26:21,288 --> 00:26:23,499
Crisscross.
358
00:26:24,875 --> 00:26:26,502
(Beth) "Choo-Choo Charlie said
to himself:
359
00:26:26,668 --> 00:26:29,421
"I think I can. I know I can.
360
00:26:29,588 --> 00:26:34,468
"He opened up his throttle and pushed
and pulled and pushed and pulled...
361
00:26:34,635 --> 00:26:39,348
...and it spluttered some more
and then... and then he... and then..."
362
00:26:43,018 --> 00:26:45,354
- How's that blockage problem?
- All aboard!
363
00:26:45,521 --> 00:26:47,231
- (Beth) Woo-woo!
- (phone rings)
364
00:26:47,397 --> 00:26:49,525
(Beth) No, no. Don't. Don't.
365
00:26:50,192 --> 00:26:51,151
I'm buying a gun, Owen.
366
00:26:51,318 --> 00:26:53,695
You must wonder what happened to me.
367
00:26:53,862 --> 00:26:57,157
- Uh... no, not at all.
- I saw that movie.
368
00:26:57,324 --> 00:26:58,534
(Larry) Uh-huh, uh-huh.
369
00:26:58,700 --> 00:27:01,995
I know now what you tried to tell me,
Professor Donner.
370
00:27:02,162 --> 00:27:03,580
- Oh, good.
- Crisscross.
371
00:27:03,747 --> 00:27:05,207
(Momma) Owen!
372
00:27:05,374 --> 00:27:08,752
- I'll call you in a few days, pal.
- Take your time, Owen. OK?
373
00:27:08,919 --> 00:27:11,255
- Bye.
- Owen!
374
00:27:12,089 --> 00:27:14,550
- Coming, Momma!
- Who were you talking to?
375
00:27:14,716 --> 00:27:18,554
- I just called the weather.
- You were talking to a machine?
376
00:27:22,099 --> 00:27:24,685
Two minutes ago
you were my agent, and now...
377
00:27:24,852 --> 00:27:27,604
Larry, I'm sorry.
That's the way the mop flops.
378
00:27:27,771 --> 00:27:30,732
After seven years I get
"That's the way the mop flops"?
379
00:27:30,899 --> 00:27:34,778
Larry, you must feel like this is
the lowest point of your entire life.
380
00:27:34,945 --> 00:27:38,574
Arnie, what are you doing?
Don't bend the fern. Fluff it!
381
00:27:38,740 --> 00:27:42,744
How, as a human being, can you give up
on somebody after seven years?
382
00:27:42,911 --> 00:27:47,749
Larry, this is a whole other agency.
Besides, you've never written anything.
383
00:27:47,916 --> 00:27:50,043
What about Hot Fire?
384
00:27:50,627 --> 00:27:52,254
This may be a tad bit disturbing,
385
00:27:52,421 --> 00:27:54,715
but we've just signed your wife
on as a client.
386
00:27:54,882 --> 00:27:58,385
Get me a doctor, Joel.
I'm having a heart attack.
387
00:27:58,552 --> 00:28:00,804
The book sold two million copies!
Arnie...
388
00:28:00,971 --> 00:28:03,891
But I wrote that and you know that!
Arnie knows that!
389
00:28:04,057 --> 00:28:06,643
Margaret couldn't write
her name in the snow!
390
00:28:07,102 --> 00:28:11,315
Larry, for seven years I've given you
assignments. I've made your deals.
391
00:28:11,481 --> 00:28:15,611
And for seven years you didn't want to
"compromise your art"!
392
00:28:15,777 --> 00:28:19,781
Oh, boy. It is just like an agent to
think that a writer can't be an artist.
393
00:28:19,948 --> 00:28:23,243
- Don't change the subject. Where was I?
- You were letting me go.
394
00:28:23,410 --> 00:28:24,411
Thank you.
395
00:28:24,578 --> 00:28:28,123
For four years you've been writing
a novel no one has ever seen.
396
00:28:28,290 --> 00:28:32,502
So you get the shaft from your wife.
It's another excuse for not writing.
397
00:28:32,669 --> 00:28:38,133
Well, go ahead, Larry! Go! Go to Mexico!
Write your heart out! Ande/e, arriba!
398
00:28:38,300 --> 00:28:40,969
But I handle writers, Larry,
not artists.
399
00:28:41,136 --> 00:28:43,805
You go be an artist.
Let the rest of the world make a living.
400
00:28:43,972 --> 00:28:47,601
Here. It's my favorite fuchsia.
Live and be well.
401
00:29:09,998 --> 00:29:12,459
(Owen) That's the house.
This is good here.
402
00:29:15,712 --> 00:29:17,839
I'll be right back.
I'm gonna visit my aunt.
403
00:29:18,006 --> 00:29:19,007
OK, bro.
404
00:29:59,172 --> 00:30:00,799
- (object drops)
- Oh, shit.
405
00:30:33,749 --> 00:30:36,126
(I Hawaiian music)
406
00:30:44,092 --> 00:30:46,219
Why, Mr. Lopez.
407
00:30:51,933 --> 00:30:54,269
Can I borrow that... towel?
408
00:31:00,567 --> 00:31:02,611
(Margaret) My big Chihuahua.
409
00:31:04,613 --> 00:31:06,615
~ (M _ Oh!
r. Lopez growls)
410
00:31:06,782 --> 00:31:08,825
(Margaret laughs)
411
00:31:11,078 --> 00:31:13,121
Grrr! Ruff, ruff!
412
00:31:18,585 --> 00:31:20,629
Ruff, ruff! Ruff! Grrr!
413
00:31:24,633 --> 00:31:26,635
(phone rings)
414
00:31:26,802 --> 00:31:28,845
Ruff, ruff, ruff!
415
00:31:34,351 --> 00:31:36,478
- Ruff! Ruff!
- (Margaret moans)
416
00:31:38,146 --> 00:31:40,232
(phone still ringing)
417
00:31:43,693 --> 00:31:45,821
- Ruff, ruff!
- Hello?
418
00:31:46,446 --> 00:31:48,824
Oh, hi, Joel. It's my agent.
419
00:31:48,990 --> 00:31:51,118
- Ruff!
- My agente.
420
00:31:52,702 --> 00:31:54,496
How's L.A., darling?
421
00:31:54,663 --> 00:31:58,125
Oh, nothing much. I'm having
a little trouble with the... gardener.
422
00:31:58,291 --> 00:32:00,836
- Ruff... ruff...
- What sound, sweetie?
423
00:32:01,002 --> 00:32:03,004
Oh, that's the... the TV.
424
00:32:03,171 --> 00:32:05,841
- Ruff! Ru-ruff!
- Uh... Old Yeller.
425
00:32:07,008 --> 00:32:09,177
Yes, I know they shot him in the end.
426
00:32:10,137 --> 00:32:12,139
Huh? Yes, darling.
427
00:32:12,305 --> 00:32:16,017
I'm aware of the book signing
tonight... in Maui.
428
00:32:17,144 --> 00:32:19,229
I'll be there. Kiss, kiss.
429
00:32:23,984 --> 00:32:26,403
(growling and moans of pleasure)
430
00:32:55,432 --> 00:32:57,058
(motor starts)
431
00:32:58,018 --> 00:33:00,061
- (toots horn)
- Bye, Mr. Lopez.
432
00:33:15,702 --> 00:33:17,746
(I Hawaiian music)
433
00:33:21,750 --> 00:33:23,793
Last boat to Maui!
434
00:34:03,124 --> 00:34:05,460
This is my first trip to the islands.
435
00:34:15,971 --> 00:34:19,307
(sings along with music)
436
00:34:53,341 --> 00:34:54,342
Oh!
437
00:34:56,803 --> 00:34:58,680
Oh, my God!
438
00:35:21,202 --> 00:35:23,663
(scream merging with laughter)
439
00:35:32,547 --> 00:35:34,674
The night...
440
00:35:34,841 --> 00:35:37,385
...was. ..n't.
441
00:35:38,595 --> 00:35:40,722
OY'
442
00:35:43,058 --> 00:35:47,520
There's probably halibut right here
who could write better than me.
443
00:35:51,232 --> 00:35:53,902
Boy. The night was...
444
00:35:56,946 --> 00:35:59,532
If you got a line, fish,
just yell it out.
445
00:36:00,617 --> 00:36:02,744
I'm up for grabs.
446
00:36:08,083 --> 00:36:10,585
- (engine fails to start)
- Perfect.
447
00:36:14,923 --> 00:36:16,966
(sighs)
448
00:36:18,093 --> 00:36:20,762
(faraway phone ringing)
449
00:36:25,934 --> 00:36:28,061
(phone still ringing)
450
00:36:34,734 --> 00:36:37,237
What about Brenda Lee?
You like Brenda Lee?
451
00:36:37,404 --> 00:36:39,489
- The jockey?
- No.
452
00:36:41,783 --> 00:36:43,827
(ringing)
453
00:36:45,787 --> 00:36:48,289
- Cloudy.
- (Owen) Aloha.
454
00:36:49,666 --> 00:36:51,960
- What?
- I said aloha.
455
00:36:52,293 --> 00:36:54,421
- Hello.
- Professor Donner?
456
00:36:55,672 --> 00:36:57,382
- Hello?
- Hello!
457
00:36:59,300 --> 00:37:02,011
- Hello.
- Professor Donner, stay by the phone.
458
00:37:02,178 --> 00:37:04,264
I don't want 'em
to be able to trace the call.
459
00:37:04,431 --> 00:37:05,765
(dial tone)
460
00:37:14,065 --> 00:37:16,151
(groans)
461
00:37:17,318 --> 00:37:19,362
(phone rings)
462
00:37:20,321 --> 00:37:22,490
- Who is this?
- Professor Donner?
463
00:37:23,825 --> 00:37:24,993
Aloha! Hello!
464
00:37:25,160 --> 00:37:27,454
- Who is this?
- It's Owen!
465
00:37:30,039 --> 00:37:32,333
- Owen?
- Yeah, from class!
466
00:37:32,500 --> 00:37:33,793
What do you want?
467
00:37:35,336 --> 00:37:37,714
It's done.
You want anything from Hawaii?
468
00:37:39,883 --> 00:37:42,343
- Hawaii?
- Wiki-wiki.
469
00:37:42,510 --> 00:37:44,512
♪ Aloha be
470
00:37:44,679 --> 00:37:47,766
- What are you doing in Hawaii?
- Crisscross. You know.
471
00:37:50,518 --> 00:37:52,687
Owen, I'm hanging up on you now.
472
00:37:52,854 --> 00:37:55,982
Oh, yeah, right! I got ya!
Boy, are you smart!
473
00:38:02,697 --> 00:38:04,240
(phone rings)
474
00:38:04,657 --> 00:38:10,038
She didn't feel a thing.
I know how important that is to you.
475
00:38:10,371 --> 00:38:12,415
- Who?
- Your wife.
476
00:38:13,500 --> 00:38:16,419
She had a little trouble walkin',
but that was from the gardener.
477
00:38:17,337 --> 00:38:21,090
- You saw my wife?
- She was kind of a tart, Larry.
478
00:38:21,257 --> 00:38:24,302
But I can see why you married her.
She was very beautiful.
479
00:38:24,469 --> 00:38:26,930
Owen, you stay away from my wife.
480
00:38:27,096 --> 00:38:29,224
(Owen hangs UP)
481
00:38:32,602 --> 00:38:34,395
(phone rings)
482
00:38:34,562 --> 00:38:38,191
Did you hear what I said, Owen?
You stay away from my wife.
483
00:38:38,358 --> 00:38:42,487
- I told you, it's done. Nobody saw.
- What the hell are you talking about?
484
00:38:42,654 --> 00:38:45,323
Crisscross, like in the movie. Done!
485
00:38:45,782 --> 00:38:49,160
Owen, what the hell
did you do to my wife?
486
00:38:49,327 --> 00:38:51,579
I... I don't wanna say on the phone.
487
00:38:51,746 --> 00:38:54,874
All I can tell you is
that I killed her last night.
488
00:38:55,375 --> 00:38:57,043
(dial tone)
489
00:38:57,210 --> 00:38:59,462
My God! Oh, my God.
490
00:39:00,088 --> 00:39:02,131
Oh, my God.
491
00:39:03,132 --> 00:39:04,092
(phone rings)
492
00:39:04,259 --> 00:39:07,262
Owen, what the hell did you do?
Tell me the truth.
493
00:39:07,428 --> 00:39:10,849
Meet me tonight at 7:30 at
Mulholland Drive and Cahuenga Pass.
494
00:39:11,015 --> 00:39:14,602
- We'll discuss your end of the bargain.
- What are you talking about?
495
00:39:14,769 --> 00:39:17,355
- You gotta kill my mother.
- Kill your mother?!
496
00:39:17,522 --> 00:39:19,941
7:30, Cahuenga Pass. Crisscross.
497
00:39:20,108 --> 00:39:22,193
- Owen, I...
- (Owen hangs up)
498
00:39:22,610 --> 00:39:24,487
Crisscross... Criss...
499
00:39:24,654 --> 00:39:28,658
Holy shit. He did it.
He did it! The little bastard did it!
500
00:39:28,825 --> 00:39:32,787
He killed my wi... No, he didn't do it.
He couldn't poss... No, he didn't do it.
501
00:39:32,954 --> 00:39:35,456
I'll call her up,
call her up on the phone.
502
00:39:35,623 --> 00:39:39,085
She'll answer the phone,
I'll hang up, and she won't be dead.
503
00:39:39,252 --> 00:39:41,296
That's it and that's all.
504
00:39:45,466 --> 00:39:47,510
(phone rings)
505
00:39:51,431 --> 00:39:56,603
Come on, come on, Margaret. Answer
the phone. Answer the phone, Margaret.
506
00:39:56,978 --> 00:39:59,981
Why the hell isn't she
answering the phone?
507
00:40:00,148 --> 00:40:04,110
Because she's dead. That's why
she's not answering the phone.
508
00:40:04,277 --> 00:40:07,155
You don't answer the phone
when you're dead!
509
00:40:09,115 --> 00:40:12,327
They're gonna think I did it.
They're gonna think that I did it!
510
00:40:12,493 --> 00:40:15,663
Why would they think that I did it?
Because I hate her guts!
511
00:40:15,830 --> 00:40:18,666
That's why they'll think
that I did it. My God...
512
00:40:19,667 --> 00:40:21,169
I have no alibi.
513
00:40:21,336 --> 00:40:24,505
Lester! I was with you yesterday!
Lester!
514
00:40:28,676 --> 00:40:30,011
I was with you yesterday, right, Lester?
515
00:40:30,178 --> 00:40:33,139
Right. And now I'm with Ms Gladstone.
516
00:40:33,514 --> 00:40:35,767
I left the club at one.
I couldn't have done it!
517
00:40:35,934 --> 00:40:39,062
That's right. You couldn't have done it.
Close the door on your way out.
518
00:40:39,854 --> 00:40:42,899
I couldn't have gone to Hawaii
and back in that time.
519
00:40:43,066 --> 00:40:44,025
So what am I worried about?
520
00:40:44,192 --> 00:40:48,488
That's what I'd like to know. Hawaii
and back? No way, man. You're cool.
521
00:40:48,655 --> 00:40:53,701
Well... Now, if he left the club at one,
he could catch the three o'clock flight.
522
00:40:53,868 --> 00:40:57,163
You could be in Hawaii by five,
given the three-hour time change.
523
00:40:57,330 --> 00:41:00,208
- She's got a point.
- You could spend four hours there...
524
00:41:00,375 --> 00:41:02,961
...and still catch the
last flight out by ten.
525
00:41:03,127 --> 00:41:06,547
- (Lester) That's true.
- You'd arrive at LAX by 6am.
526
00:41:06,714 --> 00:41:10,885
An hour on the freeway...
You'd be home by seven.
527
00:41:11,052 --> 00:41:14,389
Whatever it is,
you're fuckin' guilty, man.
528
00:41:14,555 --> 00:41:17,058
Meet Senior Flight Supervisor Gladstone.
529
00:41:17,225 --> 00:41:20,895
Hi. Pleased to meet you. Listen,
I've got a flight schedule in here.
530
00:41:21,062 --> 00:41:23,564
- I was on a rock!
- A rock?
531
00:41:23,731 --> 00:41:26,317
They're gonna think I did it!
I'm all motive and no alibi!
532
00:41:27,402 --> 00:41:29,529
I have no alibi! Motives are no problem.
533
00:41:29,696 --> 00:41:32,240
I'm up to my ass in motives.
I'm majoring in motives.
534
00:41:32,407 --> 00:41:36,744
Alibi, nowhere near my neighborhood.
But motives: whooo-ooh!
535
00:41:36,911 --> 00:41:41,040
- I gotta go! Can I borrow your car?
- Sure, man. The keys are on the table,
536
00:41:41,207 --> 00:41:43,918
next to the door. Goodbye.
537
00:41:44,711 --> 00:41:45,753
I gotta find Beth.
538
00:41:48,256 --> 00:41:51,134
What am I doing?
What the hell am I doing?!
539
00:41:51,300 --> 00:41:54,095
She's not dead.
I'm crazy. I'm a crazy man.
540
00:41:54,262 --> 00:41:57,056
She is not dead. He didn't kill her.
541
00:41:57,765 --> 00:41:59,434
(Radio Announcer) Our top story
from Hawaii:
542
00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:02,478
Novelist Margaret Donner is missing
and presumed dead.
543
00:42:03,604 --> 00:42:06,274
- According to the police...
- Holy Christ!
544
00:42:06,441 --> 00:42:08,776
I'm not crazy! She's presumed!
545
00:42:08,943 --> 00:42:13,281
She was last seen boarding a boat
to Maui. She disappeared along route.
546
00:42:13,448 --> 00:42:16,951
- A search is on for the body.
- Margaret is dead! Poor Margaret!
547
00:42:17,118 --> 00:42:20,455
She is the renowned author
of the best-selling novel "Hot Fire."
548
00:42:20,621 --> 00:42:23,916
That slut! She is a slut! Slut!
549
00:42:24,083 --> 00:42:26,335
Foul play has not been ruled out.
550
00:42:27,211 --> 00:42:28,463
I'm gonna fry!
551
00:42:28,629 --> 00:42:30,757
(I didgeridoo playing)
552
00:42:32,133 --> 00:42:33,634
(door shuts)
553
00:42:34,135 --> 00:42:36,137
I'm in really deep shit, Beth.
554
00:42:36,304 --> 00:42:39,474
Ah. Look who's decided
to breeze back into my life.
555
00:42:39,932 --> 00:42:42,393
- I gotta talk to you.
- You have to talk to me?
556
00:42:42,560 --> 00:42:45,480
You don't return
my calls or get in touch.
557
00:42:45,646 --> 00:42:47,315
But hey, you need something from me?
558
00:42:48,483 --> 00:42:50,443
Make yourself at home. Have a seat.
559
00:42:50,610 --> 00:42:52,987
Can I offer you something? A cool drink?
560
00:42:53,154 --> 00:42:55,656
Would you listen to me?
I'm in a lot of trouble!
561
00:42:55,823 --> 00:42:58,117
- I'm on the edge of my seat.
- It's Margaret.
562
00:42:58,284 --> 00:43:00,161
Don't tell me! She's come back.
563
00:43:00,328 --> 00:43:02,789
- She's...
- Pregnant, put on weight...
564
00:43:02,955 --> 00:43:04,040
She's dead!
565
00:43:05,333 --> 00:43:06,834
Oh, God.
566
00:43:07,001 --> 00:43:09,670
- It's awful.
- Larry, I'm sorry.
567
00:43:11,339 --> 00:43:14,217
- Did she suffer?
- He said she didn't feel a thing.
568
00:43:14,383 --> 00:43:15,843
- Her doctor?
- Her killer.
569
00:43:16,010 --> 00:43:19,514
- She was killed?!
- She's dead. It works that way.
570
00:43:19,680 --> 00:43:22,517
Wait! Did the police find a clue
or have a motive or...
571
00:43:22,683 --> 00:43:26,395
if there was a motive, the fat little
bastard never would've killed her!
572
00:43:26,562 --> 00:43:29,857
Don't you see? Eliminate the motive,
establish an alibi.
573
00:43:30,149 --> 00:43:33,528
- Just like I told him!
- Just like you told him?!
574
00:43:33,694 --> 00:43:37,490
- We were speaking hypothetically.
- Larry Donner! Did...
575
00:43:38,032 --> 00:43:41,494
- Did you pay a man to kill your wife?
- No! He just did it.
576
00:43:41,661 --> 00:43:45,289
- Oh, my God!
- Hey, look. I told a guy something...
577
00:43:45,456 --> 00:43:47,208
...and he took it the wrong way.
578
00:43:47,375 --> 00:43:49,836
What, uh... What did you say to him?
579
00:43:50,002 --> 00:43:53,214
- "Don't kill my wife", wink, wink?
- I don't like your tone.
580
00:43:53,381 --> 00:43:56,217
- Oh, God. You better leave.
- I got no place else to go.
581
00:43:56,384 --> 00:43:59,595
- My head is spinning.
- Oh, and my head isn't creamed corn?
582
00:44:00,388 --> 00:44:04,976
You announced that you may or may not
have inadvertently murdered someone.
583
00:44:05,143 --> 00:44:06,060
Mm-hm.
584
00:44:06,227 --> 00:44:10,398
This puts me in a highly distracted
state of mind. I am nauseous.
585
00:44:10,565 --> 00:44:13,818
Great! Margaret is dead,
I have no alibi,
586
00:44:13,985 --> 00:44:15,653
and you're mad that I
upset your stomach.
587
00:44:15,820 --> 00:44:19,282
Well, excuse me. I'll just go
so the police can start their manhunt!
588
00:44:21,242 --> 00:44:23,953
One little murder and
I'm Jack the Ripper!
589
00:44:26,873 --> 00:44:29,750
Jeez, you think you know somebody.
590
00:44:41,721 --> 00:44:43,097
Cahuenga Pass.
591
00:44:43,264 --> 00:44:45,600
(Larry's voice)
Leave a snappy message. Bye.
592
00:44:45,766 --> 00:44:48,936
Larry, it's Beth. Um...
593
00:44:49,103 --> 00:44:51,814
Call me at home right now, OK?
As soon as you get in.
594
00:44:51,981 --> 00:44:53,649
I'm very confused.
595
00:44:53,816 --> 00:44:58,821
You... came in with just...
murder and Margaret, and I just...
596
00:44:59,614 --> 00:45:02,575
Call me... now. Thank you.
597
00:45:08,956 --> 00:45:11,292
- Larry!
- Get in the car, Owen.
598
00:45:11,459 --> 00:45:13,836
- This isn't your car.
- I borrowed it. Get in!
599
00:45:14,295 --> 00:45:17,798
I thought you might like to have this.
It belonged to Margaret.
600
00:45:17,965 --> 00:45:20,259
Get in the car. Get in the car!
601
00:45:23,804 --> 00:45:25,932
Look what you did. You killed my wife!
602
00:45:26,432 --> 00:45:28,476
No, I didn't. Yes, I did.
603
00:45:29,185 --> 00:45:32,480
You're sick, Owen. You need care.
I am taking you to the police.
604
00:45:32,647 --> 00:45:35,107
Did you know Hawaii
was a series of islands...
605
00:45:35,274 --> 00:45:38,819
...that was all spit up by the same
volcano? I never knew that.
606
00:45:38,986 --> 00:45:42,531
You killed somebody!
You're a murderer! You took a life!
607
00:45:42,698 --> 00:45:44,700
You're right. I'm no good.
608
00:45:44,867 --> 00:45:47,745
How could I do that?
I'm a sick, sick per... Cows!
609
00:45:49,664 --> 00:45:53,042
- Why did you kill my wife?!
- I thought you wanted me to.
610
00:45:53,209 --> 00:45:57,630
You said you wished she was dead.
I told you I wished my momma was dead.
611
00:45:57,797 --> 00:46:00,341
I kill your wife, you kill my momma.
That's fair.
612
00:46:00,508 --> 00:46:02,510
I am not killing your mother.
613
00:46:02,677 --> 00:46:06,681
- You have to turn yourself in.
- No. It was part of our plan.
614
00:46:06,847 --> 00:46:11,185
What plan?!
There was no plan, you moron!
615
00:46:11,352 --> 00:46:14,272
You killed a person and
I'm takin' you to the police!
616
00:46:14,438 --> 00:46:17,525
I'll just tell 'em that you did it.
You got the motive.
617
00:46:19,277 --> 00:46:21,529
- You're gonna tell them the truth.
- Huh?
618
00:46:21,696 --> 00:46:25,700
You're gonna tell the police the truth
or I'll kill us both, I swear!
619
00:46:26,409 --> 00:46:29,203
- I didn't do this only for me.
- Say goodbye, Owen.
620
00:46:29,370 --> 00:46:32,540
Larry... Larry, slow down.
You're goin' a tad fast.
621
00:46:33,332 --> 00:46:36,210
Please slow down, Larry!
I don't like goin' fast!
622
00:46:36,377 --> 00:46:39,338
- Are you gonna tell 'em you did it?
- Please slow down!
623
00:46:39,505 --> 00:46:40,673
Huh?
624
00:46:42,049 --> 00:46:44,468
- Yeah. I'll do n.
- OK.
625
00:46:45,386 --> 00:46:47,179
- Please stop the car!
- I can't!
626
00:46:47,346 --> 00:46:48,973
- Stop the car!
- There's no brakes!
627
00:46:49,140 --> 00:46:53,060
- What?! Watch out for that car!
- (car horn)
628
00:46:53,227 --> 00:46:56,022
- Oh. You're a good driver, Larry.
- Just shut up!
629
00:47:11,370 --> 00:47:13,039
Larry! Larry!
630
00:47:17,626 --> 00:47:20,713
Larry, you're originally
from the East, aren't you?
631
00:47:21,213 --> 00:47:24,383
- Owen!
- A man on our block was from the East.
632
00:47:24,550 --> 00:47:26,761
Mr. Brockman.
He was in the button business.
633
00:47:26,927 --> 00:47:29,096
- Is that right?
- Yeah. This is good!
634
00:47:29,263 --> 00:47:31,390
It's like the Flintstones car wash.
635
00:47:44,945 --> 00:47:47,823
Larry! Ooh, I can't look!
636
00:47:47,990 --> 00:47:50,409
(truck horn)
637
00:47:55,414 --> 00:47:56,624
Whoa!
638
00:48:20,648 --> 00:48:24,235
So are you telling me
you weren't driving that car?
639
00:48:24,402 --> 00:48:26,987
Look, man. It's like I told you.
640
00:48:27,154 --> 00:48:31,659
He borrowed the car yesterday morning
and I haven't seen him since.
641
00:48:32,535 --> 00:48:37,123
- Did he say where he was going?
- No. Mumbled about motives and alibis.
642
00:48:37,289 --> 00:48:39,125
Motives and alibis?
643
00:48:39,291 --> 00:48:42,586
He figured that since Margaret
ruined his life,
644
00:48:42,753 --> 00:48:43,838
you'd think he killed her or somethin'.
645
00:48:44,004 --> 00:48:46,507
- You don't think he did?
- No, I don't think so.
646
00:48:46,674 --> 00:48:50,344
Personally, if the bitch stole my book,
I'd kill her. But that's me.
647
00:48:50,511 --> 00:48:53,305
Larry? There's no way he coulda done it.
648
00:48:53,472 --> 00:48:54,765
What makes you say that?
649
00:48:55,975 --> 00:48:58,978
Because Larry never did...
650
00:48:59,145 --> 00:49:01,021
...anything.
651
00:49:02,314 --> 00:49:05,651
OK. Here we go. Eggs é la Owen.
652
00:49:05,818 --> 00:49:09,029
(sighs) Owen, get it
through your thick head.
653
00:49:09,196 --> 00:49:11,532
I may be a lot of things,
but I am not a killer.
654
00:49:12,241 --> 00:49:15,035
You don't have to blow her brains out.
655
00:49:15,202 --> 00:49:17,872
Thank you! That takes
the pressure right off.
656
00:49:18,038 --> 00:49:21,250
She's old. She's got a bad ticker.
657
00:49:21,417 --> 00:49:24,295
All you gotta do is
jerk around a lot when you talk to her.
658
00:49:24,462 --> 00:49:27,173
- "Nice to meet you, Mrs. Lift!"
- Would you stop it?
659
00:49:29,091 --> 00:49:33,220
Well, just meet her. Maybe she'd be
somebody you'd like to kill.
660
00:49:33,387 --> 00:49:36,640
(Momma) Owen! What the hell's
going on out there?!
661
00:49:36,807 --> 00:49:37,892
Nothing, Momma!
662
00:49:38,058 --> 00:49:39,101
(whispers) We woke her up.
663
00:49:39,268 --> 00:49:42,229
Who are you talking to? Who's in there?
664
00:49:43,022 --> 00:49:44,565
- Nobody, Momma!
- (door bangs)
665
00:49:47,693 --> 00:49:48,944
Who's this?
666
00:49:51,155 --> 00:49:52,865
This is Cousin Paddy.
667
00:49:53,032 --> 00:49:57,244
He's gonna be stayin' with us
for a while. Isn't that nice?
668
00:49:58,078 --> 00:50:00,164
You don't have a Cousin Paddy!
669
00:50:02,416 --> 00:50:03,751
You lied to me!
670
00:50:05,294 --> 00:50:06,504
(Larry groans)
671
00:50:10,758 --> 00:50:13,677
- That's it. That's all.
- Larry... Larry.
672
00:50:15,137 --> 00:50:17,431
I'm sorry. She makes me so nervous.
673
00:50:17,598 --> 00:50:21,268
Come on. Go in there and sit down.
I'll get you some ice.
674
00:50:23,562 --> 00:50:25,147
So what do you think of her?
675
00:50:26,315 --> 00:50:28,859
I think she could relax a little bit.
676
00:50:29,944 --> 00:50:31,946
- Are you gonna do it?
- Owen...
677
00:50:32,112 --> 00:50:35,324
I'm not gonna kill your mother.
If you wanna do it, you do it.
678
00:50:35,491 --> 00:50:39,119
A guy kills my wife.
He can't even kill his own mother.
679
00:50:39,286 --> 00:50:41,830
- You wanna see my coin collection?
- No!
680
00:50:43,624 --> 00:50:45,709
I collect coins.
681
00:50:46,835 --> 00:50:50,339
- I got a dandy collection.
- I don't wanna see it, Owen.
682
00:50:51,715 --> 00:50:54,385
- But it's my collection.
- I don't care.
683
00:50:54,552 --> 00:50:57,304
Look, Owen.
I'm just not in the mood. OK?
684
00:51:05,479 --> 00:51:07,648
Never showed it to anyone before.
685
00:51:10,568 --> 00:51:13,153
- All right, I'll look at it.
- No, it's OK.
686
00:51:13,320 --> 00:51:15,072
- Show it to me.
- No, you don't mean it.
687
00:51:15,239 --> 00:51:17,575
- Show me the damn coins!
- All right.
688
00:51:18,909 --> 00:51:20,995
This one is a nickel.
689
00:51:21,620 --> 00:51:23,998
This one also is a nickel.
690
00:51:25,291 --> 00:51:27,376
And here's a quarter.
691
00:51:28,377 --> 00:51:30,462
And another quarter.
692
00:51:32,590 --> 00:51:33,841
And a penny.
693
00:51:34,758 --> 00:51:37,136
See? Nickel, nickel,
quarter, quarter, penny.
694
00:51:37,303 --> 00:51:39,847
Are any of these coins worth anything?
695
00:51:41,348 --> 00:51:42,433
No.
696
00:51:43,017 --> 00:51:47,021
And here... is another nickel.
697
00:51:47,980 --> 00:51:51,191
- Why do you have them?
- What do you mean?
698
00:51:51,358 --> 00:51:56,030
The purpose of a coin collection is that
the coins are worth something, Owen.
699
00:51:56,196 --> 00:51:57,239
Oh, but they are.
700
00:51:58,282 --> 00:52:01,076
This one here I got in change...
701
00:52:01,243 --> 00:52:04,371
...when my dad took me
to see Peter, Paul and Mary.
702
00:52:05,205 --> 00:52:09,877
And this one I got in change
when I bought a hot dog at the circus.
703
00:52:10,044 --> 00:52:13,881
My daddy let me keep the change.
He always let me keep the change.
704
00:52:14,089 --> 00:52:15,883
This one...
705
00:52:16,050 --> 00:52:17,635
...is my favorite.
706
00:52:17,801 --> 00:52:21,055
This is Martin and Lewis
at the Hollywood Palladium.
707
00:52:22,306 --> 00:52:23,557
Look at that.
708
00:52:24,350 --> 00:52:27,770
See the way it shines
on the little eagle?
709
00:52:30,064 --> 00:52:31,482
I loved my dad a lot.
710
00:52:34,777 --> 00:52:38,906
- So this whole collection is...
- Change my daddy let me keep.
711
00:52:39,782 --> 00:52:41,784
- What was his name?
- Ned.
712
00:52:41,950 --> 00:52:44,036
He used to call me his little Ned.
713
00:52:44,828 --> 00:52:47,289
That's why Momma named me Owen.
714
00:52:47,456 --> 00:52:49,458
I really miss him.
715
00:52:49,625 --> 00:52:52,878
- It's a real nice collection, Owen.
- Thank you, Larry.
716
00:52:53,045 --> 00:52:56,382
- Owen! Food!
- In a minute, Momma!
717
00:52:56,548 --> 00:52:58,258
Don't you "in a minute" me!
718
00:52:58,425 --> 00:53:00,844
Get off your fat little ass
or I'll break it for you!
719
00:53:01,011 --> 00:53:03,722
I want two soft-boiled eggs, white toast
720
00:53:03,889 --> 00:53:06,100
and some of that grape jelly,
goddamn it!
721
00:53:06,266 --> 00:53:08,185
And don't burn the toast!
722
00:53:08,352 --> 00:53:09,812
- Kill her, Larry.
- I can't.
723
00:53:09,978 --> 00:53:14,400
You gotta kill her for me, Larry.
Don't you understand? Crisscross.
724
00:53:14,566 --> 00:53:18,987
Crisscross! You gotta do it, Larry!
If you don't, I will. I swear I will.
725
00:53:19,154 --> 00:53:21,490
Move it, fat boy!
726
00:53:21,657 --> 00:53:23,450
That's it! I'm gonna
choke her to death!
727
00:53:23,617 --> 00:53:27,037
- No, Owen!
- I swear to God, I'm gonna kill her!
728
00:53:28,622 --> 00:53:30,457
- Calm down, Owen.
- Larry...
729
00:53:30,624 --> 00:53:33,836
It's gonna be OK.
It's gonna be OK, Owen.
730
00:53:34,002 --> 00:53:36,088
I promise.
731
00:53:40,592 --> 00:53:42,469
Will you do it?
732
00:53:42,636 --> 00:53:44,555
Yeah. I'll do it.
733
00:53:44,722 --> 00:53:47,141
Larry, you're the best pal
a guy ever had.
734
00:53:47,307 --> 00:53:49,560
Here. Look. I want you to have this.
735
00:53:49,727 --> 00:53:53,689
Look. Here. It's a souvenir from
the London Bridge gift shop in Arizona.
736
00:53:53,856 --> 00:53:57,985
Look. See? They brought this bridge
over from London, England,
737
00:53:58,152 --> 00:53:59,486
stone by stone.
738
00:53:59,653 --> 00:54:02,030
See the little bridge?
See the stones there?
739
00:54:02,197 --> 00:54:05,117
- Yeah, I see 'em.
- Here. You can have that.
740
00:54:09,788 --> 00:54:10,956
Crisscross.
741
00:54:12,541 --> 00:54:15,836
- When did you last see him?
- I can't remember. I told you.
742
00:54:16,962 --> 00:54:20,090
- The day after his wife disappeared?
- I didn't say that.
743
00:54:20,257 --> 00:54:21,800
Miss Ryan, why are you
protecting him?
744
00:54:21,967 --> 00:54:24,845
I'm not. I just don't think
he killed her.
745
00:54:25,012 --> 00:54:27,514
Where do you think he is, Miss Ryan?
746
00:54:27,681 --> 00:54:29,600
I don't know!
747
00:54:30,559 --> 00:54:33,103
- He's in a lot of trouble.
- He didn't do it.
748
00:54:33,270 --> 00:54:35,189
Then who do you suppose did?
749
00:54:38,358 --> 00:54:41,528
- Somebody else.
- So you do think it was murder.
750
00:54:42,863 --> 00:54:45,991
- You know who killed her, don't you?
- No.
751
00:54:46,158 --> 00:54:49,161
- Yes, you do.
- I do not! He wouldn't tell me!
752
00:54:53,373 --> 00:54:56,877
Did Professor Donner
hire a man to kill his wife?
753
00:54:57,044 --> 00:55:00,172
No! He said... not really.
754
00:55:04,343 --> 00:55:08,931
And I heard him scream out
"I hate her! I wish she were dead!"
755
00:55:09,097 --> 00:55:12,976
Yeah, I heard him. He said
"I hate her. I wish she was dead."
756
00:55:13,143 --> 00:55:14,812
That's what he said.
757
00:55:14,978 --> 00:55:18,232
"I hate her. I wish she was dead."
758
00:55:18,982 --> 00:55:21,193
He called her a very bad name...
759
00:55:21,360 --> 00:55:24,738
...and screamed "I hate her.
I wish she were dead."
760
00:55:26,031 --> 00:55:28,116
It's a coffee-table book.
761
00:55:31,662 --> 00:55:33,205
(TV on)
762
00:55:35,541 --> 00:55:37,376
All right, Momma.
763
00:55:37,543 --> 00:55:39,878
Turn off the TV.
764
00:55:40,045 --> 00:55:41,797
OK.
765
00:55:43,674 --> 00:55:45,759
Goodbye, Momma.
766
00:55:50,848 --> 00:55:53,183
She'll be sleepin' in a
couple of minutes.
767
00:55:53,350 --> 00:55:55,227
I graduated from Yale.
768
00:55:56,562 --> 00:55:59,773
All right. Out you go.
769
00:56:00,190 --> 00:56:03,193
- Out? Out where?
- Out on the ledge. Go out on the roof.
770
00:56:03,360 --> 00:56:05,988
No, no. I'm not going out
on any ledge.
771
00:56:06,154 --> 00:56:07,823
You gotta make it look like a burglar.
772
00:56:07,990 --> 00:56:11,618
- You go in, you mess up things...
- No, Owen. This is going too far.
773
00:56:11,785 --> 00:56:13,245
- You want outta this?
- Yes.
774
00:56:13,412 --> 00:56:15,080
Then fulfill your end of the bargain.
775
00:56:15,247 --> 00:56:18,208
You go in, stuff a pillow
over her face and leave.
776
00:56:18,375 --> 00:56:21,587
You walk out that door.
You never have to see me again, OK?
777
00:56:21,753 --> 00:56:23,797
Oh, God!
778
00:56:26,133 --> 00:56:30,721
- OK. Out you go.
- Shit. I hate heights.
779
00:56:32,180 --> 00:56:33,181
Larry!
780
00:56:37,769 --> 00:56:39,771
- You all right? Move your hand.
- Why?
781
00:56:39,938 --> 00:56:41,648
Gotta close the window.
782
00:56:47,362 --> 00:56:49,948
And like this you kill an evening.
783
00:56:52,868 --> 00:56:55,245
Rats! Now I got Willard here.
784
00:56:57,080 --> 00:56:59,166
I'm bein' held captive by a little troll
785
00:56:59,333 --> 00:57:02,544
who should be hanging off
a rear-view mirror.
786
00:57:02,711 --> 00:57:04,796
I'm not doin' this.
787
00:57:07,591 --> 00:57:09,259
- Aargh!
- What are you doin'?
788
00:57:09,426 --> 00:57:12,346
I'm selling The Watchtower!
What do you think?!
789
00:57:12,512 --> 00:57:14,723
You got rats the size
of Oldsmobile's here!
790
00:57:18,018 --> 00:57:20,103
Rats.
791
00:57:20,270 --> 00:57:23,857
OK, forget about the burglar stuff.
Just go through her door.
792
00:57:24,024 --> 00:57:28,904
It's less dramatic but I don't wanna
make you uncomfortable. Here, use this.
793
00:57:29,071 --> 00:57:32,032
- I really don't like you, Owen.
- OK, I gotta go.
794
00:57:32,199 --> 00:57:35,577
If I'm late for my lane,
they tack on an extra buck.
795
00:57:43,877 --> 00:57:46,004
Ugh. What a week.
796
00:58:14,366 --> 00:58:20,205
Mrs. Lift, I know you don't want to hear
anything derogatory about your son.
797
00:58:20,372 --> 00:58:23,750
I understand that.
Because he's not a bad man, Mrs. Lift.
798
00:58:23,917 --> 00:58:28,755
He's a nice man, actually.
He is a lunatic. No, Mrs. Lift, he is.
799
00:58:28,922 --> 00:58:31,383
He's a lunatic. And, um...
800
00:58:31,550 --> 00:58:33,135
I don't have to be here now, Mrs. Lift.
801
00:58:33,301 --> 00:58:38,682
I could be in Mexico, out of all of
this. I'm only here to stop him fro...
802
00:58:40,267 --> 00:58:42,769
How do you say this, Mrs. Lift?
803
00:58:43,437 --> 00:58:45,605
Listen to me, Mrs. Lift.
804
00:58:45,772 --> 00:58:49,901
Your son... killed my wife.
805
00:58:50,068 --> 00:58:53,822
And now he wants me to kill you.
806
00:58:55,032 --> 00:58:57,451
(snores)
807
00:58:57,743 --> 00:59:00,245
- Mrs. Lift?
- (snores)
808
00:59:03,415 --> 00:59:07,002
- I'm gonna go read the paper now and...
- (snoring continues)
809
00:59:07,169 --> 00:59:09,713
I'm just glad we
had this chance to talk.
810
00:59:11,298 --> 00:59:13,216
(snores)
811
00:59:14,968 --> 00:59:19,473
I'm a fugitive. The little bastard
turned me into Richard Kimble.
812
00:59:19,639 --> 00:59:22,851
He shit and shoved me in it.
I gotta get outta here! I gotta go!
813
00:59:24,102 --> 00:59:27,773
Where am I running? Evidence.
incriminating evidence!
814
00:59:32,444 --> 00:59:33,570
Nothing.
815
00:59:38,408 --> 00:59:40,494
Ha! A lei.
816
00:59:41,036 --> 00:59:43,121
Poha jelly.
817
00:59:43,830 --> 00:59:45,165
Not enough!
818
00:59:46,666 --> 00:59:49,711
Poha jelly, a lei and a doll.
I need some evidence.
819
00:59:49,878 --> 00:59:51,880
Aha! Bingo. The mother lode.
820
00:59:52,047 --> 00:59:54,800
A plane ticket!
A little careless, Owen, aren't we?
821
00:59:54,966 --> 00:59:57,177
Los Angeles, Hawaii, 10am!
822
00:59:57,344 --> 01:00:00,347
(cackles) I got you! A plane ticket!
823
01:00:00,514 --> 01:00:02,516
With my name on it.
824
01:00:02,682 --> 01:00:04,476
Oh, God!
825
01:00:04,643 --> 01:00:06,728
(knock at door)
826
01:00:11,316 --> 01:00:12,400
909$.!
827
01:00:14,027 --> 01:00:16,113
(knocking continues)
828
01:00:29,709 --> 01:00:30,961
Mr. Lift?
829
01:00:35,257 --> 01:00:37,217
(heart thumping)
830
01:00:45,559 --> 01:00:47,602
We'd like to ask you a few questions.
831
01:00:47,769 --> 01:00:49,688
I hope there's no trouble.
832
01:00:49,855 --> 01:00:53,900
I was at the bowlin' alley all night.
I hope there's nothin' wrong.
833
01:00:54,067 --> 01:00:56,486
No, we'd like to ask you
about Professor Donner.
834
01:00:57,154 --> 01:01:00,615
- Professor Donner?
- Yes. Would you mind if we came in?
835
01:01:01,908 --> 01:01:04,619
- In the house?
- Just a few questions.
836
01:01:05,036 --> 01:01:07,664
I... I'm sorry. You can't.
837
01:01:10,125 --> 01:01:13,295
My momma's real sick.
I don't think it's a good idea.
838
01:01:13,461 --> 01:01:16,006
- It'll only take a minute.
- No, I...
839
01:01:21,511 --> 01:01:23,847
OK! All right. Come on up.
840
01:01:24,014 --> 01:01:27,017
If it'll only take a minute,
that won't be so bad.
841
01:01:27,559 --> 01:01:29,603
Would you like to meet my momma?
842
01:01:32,981 --> 01:01:37,402
We understand you take Professor
Donner's course at Valley College.
843
01:01:37,569 --> 01:01:39,821
Yeah. Creative writing.
844
01:01:39,988 --> 01:01:42,616
I'm gonna put my bowlin' ball away.
845
01:01:42,782 --> 01:01:46,870
- I'm his star pupil.
- Do you have any idea where he is?
846
01:01:47,037 --> 01:01:51,499
Did you try his apartment? He goes there
a lot. He keeps his stuff there.
847
01:01:53,501 --> 01:01:55,629
You guys wanna have some tea?
848
01:01:55,795 --> 01:01:57,631
We've got orange pekoe...
849
01:01:57,797 --> 01:02:00,217
...we've got Irish breakfast...
850
01:02:00,383 --> 01:02:02,302
...we've got Darjeeling...
851
01:02:02,469 --> 01:02:05,972
Mr. Lift, have you ever heard
Professor Donner talk about his wife?
852
01:02:06,139 --> 01:02:10,852
Professor Donner? Oh, he... he always
talked about her like she was an angel.
853
01:02:11,019 --> 01:02:14,397
He loved his wife.
He worshipped the ground she... Hi.
854
01:02:16,483 --> 01:02:19,194
Hi, tea! Hi, tea. Hi.
855
01:02:19,361 --> 01:02:22,072
You never heard him say
anything bad about her?
856
01:02:23,865 --> 01:02:27,953
Oh. This is Irish breakfast.
I'll get Darjeeling.
857
01:02:28,119 --> 01:02:31,498
Whatever you want, Mr. Lift.
We won't be havin' any.
858
01:02:32,999 --> 01:02:35,669
- What was that question again?
- (Momma) Owen!
859
01:02:38,505 --> 01:02:40,215
Momma! You're alive!
860
01:02:43,134 --> 01:02:45,512
Old people, you have to reassure them.
861
01:02:47,597 --> 01:02:50,392
Mr. Lift, can we get back
to Professor Donner?
862
01:02:50,558 --> 01:02:54,980
Yes. By all means,
let's get back to him.
863
01:02:56,481 --> 01:02:59,317
- Mr. Lift...
- Oh! You know what?
864
01:02:59,484 --> 01:03:01,861
This... This box is empty.
865
01:03:02,028 --> 01:03:05,365
Could you get me some tea
in the pantry?
866
01:03:05,865 --> 01:03:08,535
Sure. No problem.
867
01:03:10,203 --> 01:03:14,666
(detective) You said that he loved his
wife. What gave you that idea?
868
01:03:15,417 --> 01:03:17,669
Oh! I'm sorry, officer.
869
01:03:17,836 --> 01:03:21,673
I have some tea right here on the stove.
It won't be necessary.
870
01:03:21,840 --> 01:03:25,218
- Oh. No problem.
- What was that question again?
871
01:03:25,385 --> 01:03:28,263
What makes you think
that he loved his wife?
872
01:03:30,056 --> 01:03:33,018
But you know what you could get me
is some sugar.
873
01:03:33,184 --> 01:03:34,394
Is it in the pantry?
874
01:03:36,021 --> 01:03:38,481
- Yeah.
- No problem.
875
01:03:38,648 --> 01:03:43,528
I shouldn't use sugar in my tea because
I'm carryin' around this spare tire.
876
01:03:43,695 --> 01:03:47,490
I'd like to get rid of it
but it's so hard to cut back.
877
01:03:48,450 --> 01:03:52,329
- Owen! You did it, didn't you, Owen?
- No, Momma, I didn't.
878
01:03:52,495 --> 01:03:55,874
- Yes, you did!
- No! Honest to God, I didn't do it!
879
01:03:56,041 --> 01:03:57,834
You told them to take me away!
880
01:03:58,960 --> 01:04:01,921
Oh. No, Momma. No.
881
01:04:02,130 --> 01:04:05,258
- You came to take me away!
- I'm sorry.
882
01:04:05,425 --> 01:04:09,804
- My momma's not feelin' well.
- Not feeling well, my foot!
883
01:04:09,971 --> 01:04:11,681
- I'm sorry.
- You little bastard!
884
01:04:11,848 --> 01:04:14,559
I said you'd desert me, and you did!
885
01:04:14,726 --> 01:04:17,896
The only way they'll get me
outta here is to drag me out!
886
01:04:18,063 --> 01:04:21,107
You're gonna have to
take me out in a pine box!
887
01:04:22,484 --> 01:04:25,528
Get out! Get outta my house!
888
01:04:27,113 --> 01:04:28,990
Owen!
889
01:04:29,908 --> 01:04:31,868
You're grounded!
890
01:04:34,162 --> 01:04:36,206
I can't believe that you
brought them here!
891
01:04:36,373 --> 01:04:39,125
- Why didn't you kill Momma?
- Because I'm not a killer!
892
01:04:39,292 --> 01:04:43,254
I can't put a pillow over her face
and squeeze the life out of her!
893
01:04:47,133 --> 01:04:50,136
- You see that door with the hook on it?
- Yeah.
894
01:04:50,303 --> 01:04:53,681
Every night around nine o'clock,
she yells "Bath"
895
01:04:53,848 --> 01:04:55,809
and hangs her shawl on that hook.
896
01:04:55,975 --> 01:04:58,311
- I'll bet that's where I come in.
- Yeah.
897
01:04:58,478 --> 01:05:00,688
- Now, how did I know that?
- Come on, come on.
898
01:05:00,855 --> 01:05:02,732
- Watch out for my skates.
- Ow!
899
01:05:08,696 --> 01:05:10,782
(hinge falls down stairs)
900
01:05:12,325 --> 01:05:15,286
She'll get out of her chair,
she'll go to the door,
901
01:05:15,453 --> 01:05:19,124
you go behind her and pow!
Down the stairs she goes.
902
01:05:19,290 --> 01:05:23,002
- And where are you gonna be?
- Howie's Lanes. Come on.
903
01:05:36,599 --> 01:05:39,394
To hell with this guy! What am I? Crazy?
904
01:05:40,186 --> 01:05:42,564
I'm outta here. I can't stay here.
905
01:05:43,314 --> 01:05:45,942
- I can't stay in this house!
- (siren)
906
01:05:54,576 --> 01:05:56,661
Stand back, please.
907
01:06:09,048 --> 01:06:11,551
Milk and Mallomars...
908
01:06:36,075 --> 01:06:38,203
Bath! !
909
01:06:39,537 --> 01:06:42,332
- Who the hell are you?!
- I'm Owen's friend.
910
01:06:42,499 --> 01:06:46,669
- Owen doesn't have a friend!
- That's because he's shy.
911
01:06:46,836 --> 01:06:48,880
No, he's not. He's fat and he's stupid.
912
01:06:49,047 --> 01:06:51,466
Get outta my house! Where is Owen?
913
01:06:51,633 --> 01:06:53,927
- Owen went bowling.
- I want Owen!
914
01:06:54,093 --> 01:06:56,846
- He'll be back soon.
- I want my bath and my medicine!
915
01:06:57,013 --> 01:06:59,224
- I can get it for you.
- Who the hell are you?
916
01:06:59,390 --> 01:07:01,434
- Let me hang that up.
- I can do it myself!
917
01:07:01,601 --> 01:07:03,019
I know, but I'd like to
hang it up for you.
918
01:07:03,186 --> 01:07:05,271
Get out of my way, you black bastard!
919
01:07:05,980 --> 01:07:06,981
What?!
920
01:07:08,066 --> 01:07:09,526
Mrs. Lift!
921
01:07:09,943 --> 01:07:12,445
- He tried to kill me.
- What?
922
01:07:12,612 --> 01:07:14,989
I said, he's tryin' to kill me!
923
01:07:15,156 --> 01:07:16,616
Mrs. Lift! Don't...
924
01:07:17,033 --> 01:07:19,536
I can hang up my own goddamn shawl.
925
01:07:22,830 --> 01:07:26,000
He's trying to kill me!
926
01:07:26,167 --> 01:07:30,380
I asked for the salted nuts!
He brought me the unsalted nuts!
927
01:07:30,547 --> 01:07:33,132
The unsalted nuts make me choke!
928
01:07:38,304 --> 01:07:40,306
Aargh!
929
01:07:51,484 --> 01:07:52,860
Pain in the ass!
930
01:07:59,617 --> 01:08:01,494
Oh, no!
931
01:08:15,508 --> 01:08:17,844
Your friend had an accident. He's dead!
932
01:08:18,011 --> 01:08:21,055
You go bowling and leave
a corpse to take care of me!
933
01:08:21,222 --> 01:08:23,933
- He's dead?
- See for yourself!
934
01:08:25,768 --> 01:08:27,854
Larry! My friend!
935
01:08:28,021 --> 01:08:31,608
- My friend! Larry!
- (mimics) "My friend! My friend!"
936
01:08:31,774 --> 01:08:33,776
You little crybaby!
937
01:08:33,943 --> 01:08:37,488
Go bury him in the yard
before he stinks up the place!
938
01:09:45,682 --> 01:09:47,642
Larry, you're alive!
939
01:09:50,728 --> 01:09:52,689
You killed her.
940
01:10:04,367 --> 01:10:07,954
Holy shit! What a dream I was having!
941
01:10:08,121 --> 01:10:10,456
Louis Armstrong was trying to kill me!
942
01:10:10,623 --> 01:10:14,377
- Mrs. Lift?
- Get away from me, you horse's ass!
943
01:10:17,922 --> 01:10:20,258
(groans)
944
01:10:25,138 --> 01:10:28,725
She's not a woman.
She's the Terminator.
945
01:10:33,938 --> 01:10:36,023
(dinging)
946
01:10:58,004 --> 01:11:01,090
The ex-husband of missing novelist
Margaret Donner...
947
01:11:01,257 --> 01:11:04,385
...is wanted for questioning
but has now himself disappeared.
948
01:11:04,552 --> 01:11:07,472
If you have any information
regarding his whereabouts
949
01:11:07,638 --> 01:11:09,348
contact your local police.
950
01:11:09,515 --> 01:11:12,935
Owen! There's a murderer in the house!
951
01:11:13,102 --> 01:11:15,897
Hello, police? I found him!
The wife murderer!
952
01:11:16,063 --> 01:11:18,191
- He's here!
- Gimme the phone!
953
01:11:18,649 --> 01:11:20,651
I'm on the next train to Mexico.
954
01:11:20,818 --> 01:11:24,489
- No! This is no time to panic.
- This is the perfect time to panic!
955
01:11:24,655 --> 01:11:28,868
She turned me in! Do what you want
with her. I gotta think about myself.
956
01:11:29,035 --> 01:11:31,120
Larry, don't leave me!
957
01:11:32,205 --> 01:11:33,873
Larry!
958
01:11:42,006 --> 01:11:43,883
(cracking)
959
01:11:51,349 --> 01:11:52,892
I'm sorry, Larry.
960
01:11:54,185 --> 01:11:56,062
It's OK, Owen.
961
01:11:56,229 --> 01:12:00,316
- I messed everything up.
- Owen, it's gonna be OK.
962
01:12:00,483 --> 01:12:02,109
I ruined your life.
963
01:12:02,568 --> 01:12:06,447
Come on, Owen. Sometimes
things happen in life for a reason.
964
01:12:07,782 --> 01:12:12,036
No, really. Maybe I was meant to go to
Mexico to be a writer. You never know.
965
01:12:12,203 --> 01:12:14,539
This is a great ending.
966
01:12:14,705 --> 01:12:18,251
I don't have the beginning,
but this is a great ending.
967
01:12:18,417 --> 01:12:22,129
Story of my life. I always have
great endings and no beginnings.
968
01:12:22,296 --> 01:12:24,841
That's not good for a writer, is it?
969
01:12:25,007 --> 01:12:27,093
No, it's not.
970
01:12:29,512 --> 01:12:31,138
How about "The night was humid?"
971
01:12:35,852 --> 01:12:38,604
- It's hot in here.
- Yeah, hot and close.
972
01:12:38,771 --> 01:12:42,358
- Moist.
- Right. "The night was moist."
973
01:12:42,525 --> 01:12:46,487
This is what I'm talking about.
It's writing. Finding the perfect word.
974
01:12:46,654 --> 01:12:50,157
The perfect start. "it was the best
of times, it was the worst of times".
975
01:12:50,324 --> 01:12:52,326
"Now is the winter of our discontent".
976
01:12:52,493 --> 01:12:56,038
See what I'm saying?
Perfect beginnings. Perfect words.
977
01:12:56,205 --> 01:12:59,667
It's like us. We're on a train
to Mexico. We're on the lam.
978
01:12:59,834 --> 01:13:02,128
It's exciting, it's kinda mysterious.
979
01:13:02,295 --> 01:13:05,464
Do you say "The night was humid"
or "The night was moist?"
980
01:13:05,631 --> 01:13:08,467
- That's writing!
- The night was sultry.
981
01:13:14,098 --> 01:13:16,809
I'm getting the hell outta here!
982
01:13:18,561 --> 01:13:21,188
Too goddamn sultry in here!
983
01:13:25,735 --> 01:13:27,069
Where you gem"?
984
01:13:27,904 --> 01:13:29,405
I'm gonna kill the bitch.
985
01:13:31,032 --> 01:13:33,826
- You want anything?
- You can get me a Chunky.
986
01:13:42,126 --> 01:13:46,172
- Come here, Mrs. Lift.
- You stay away from me, you murderer!
987
01:13:51,010 --> 01:13:52,511
Momma...
988
01:13:52,762 --> 01:13:54,221
Mrs. Lift!
989
01:13:54,639 --> 01:13:56,766
- (Owen) Momma!
- Murderer! Murderer!
990
01:13:58,976 --> 01:14:01,395
Momma... Momma...
991
01:14:01,562 --> 01:14:06,150
Sultry? I'll show you
something sultry, Mrs. Lift!
992
01:14:06,359 --> 01:14:07,860
G, 54.
993
01:14:08,027 --> 01:14:13,074
Stupid bingo! Don't you idiots know
there's a murderer loose on this train?
994
01:14:13,616 --> 01:14:16,369
- Mrs. Lift, come back here.
- Bingo bastards.
995
01:14:16,535 --> 01:14:18,412
My mother's a little overmedicated.
996
01:14:18,579 --> 01:14:22,583
Murderer! Murderer!
There's a murderer on the train.
997
01:14:22,750 --> 01:14:26,170
Wake up, you nut heads! Murderer!
998
01:14:26,337 --> 01:14:28,130
Excuse me. Excuse me.
999
01:14:28,297 --> 01:14:30,800
Wake up! There's a murderer
on the train!
1000
01:14:31,592 --> 01:14:33,135
Mrs. Lift?
1001
01:14:34,345 --> 01:14:36,555
Aarrghhh!
1002
01:14:37,306 --> 01:14:40,726
- Mrs. Lift, be careful!
- Get away from me, you murderer!
1003
01:14:42,770 --> 01:14:44,647
' No!
, (Momma yells)
1004
01:14:48,526 --> 01:14:51,612
- Mrs. Lift...
- Let me go, you murderer!
1005
01:14:51,779 --> 01:14:52,947
Owen!
1006
01:14:53,614 --> 01:14:55,741
- Larry, you'll kill her!
- Save me!
1007
01:14:55,908 --> 01:14:59,704
I'm not tryin' to kill her!
I'm tryin' to save her, you toad!
1008
01:15:05,835 --> 01:15:07,545
Come on, Mrs. Lift!
1009
01:15:12,425 --> 01:15:15,386
Owen! Save me!
1010
01:15:18,889 --> 01:15:21,892
Aarrghhh!
1011
01:15:27,606 --> 01:15:30,901
Owen! Save me!
1012
01:15:31,068 --> 01:15:33,029
Owen!
1013
01:15:33,195 --> 01:15:37,575
- What are you doin' to my momma?!
- Making a wish! What do you think?!
1014
01:15:39,076 --> 01:15:41,037
Help!
1015
01:15:41,203 --> 01:15:42,955
Oh, no! Larry!
1016
01:15:59,346 --> 01:16:01,974
Oh, you saved me, my Owen!
1017
01:16:02,141 --> 01:16:05,978
- Mrs. Lift, are you OK?
- Beat it, chump!
1018
01:16:07,646 --> 01:16:09,315
- Larry!
- Aarghhh!
1019
01:16:13,110 --> 01:16:15,196
Bye, Larry!
1020
01:16:21,452 --> 01:16:24,205
To tell you the truth,
it was all a little bit embarrassing.
1021
01:16:24,371 --> 01:16:28,084
My earring fell over the rail.
I bent over to retrieve it.
1022
01:16:28,250 --> 01:16:30,628
The last thing I remember,
I was in the water.
1023
01:16:30,795 --> 01:16:33,839
She fell off the boat.
She fell off the boat.
1024
01:16:34,006 --> 01:16:36,175
The little bastard never
laid a hand on her.
1025
01:16:36,383 --> 01:16:38,469
This wonderful Adonis of the deep...
1026
01:16:38,636 --> 01:16:41,138
Oh, I love that. "Adonis of the deep."
1027
01:16:41,305 --> 01:16:44,266
She's rescued by a fishing boat!
The woman is priceless.
1028
01:16:44,433 --> 01:16:47,853
- You gotta love this woman.
- Do you love this woman?
1029
01:16:49,313 --> 01:16:54,026
Shikamoto nursed me back to health,
and we're going to be married.
1030
01:16:54,193 --> 01:16:56,821
Who asked this guy
to pull her outta the water?
1031
01:16:56,987 --> 01:16:58,989
(chuckles)
1032
01:16:59,281 --> 01:17:01,992
Margaret Donner, author
of the best seller "Hot Fire,“
1033
01:17:02,159 --> 01:17:06,205
has sold the movie rights
of her ordeal at sea for $1.5 million.
1034
01:17:06,372 --> 01:17:09,375
Will wonders never cease!
Back to you, Stan.
1035
01:17:11,168 --> 01:17:14,004
She's a genius.
She's getting $1.5 million
1036
01:17:14,171 --> 01:17:15,631
and I'm getting glucose
four times a day.
1037
01:17:15,798 --> 01:17:18,425
I'm getting something down the hall.
1038
01:17:18,592 --> 01:17:22,221
- What?
- Anything. I can't take this any more.
1039
01:17:22,388 --> 01:17:26,142
Every ten minutes, it's "Margaret this"
and "Margaret that".
1040
01:17:26,308 --> 01:17:28,352
I'm sorry. I just can't help it.
1041
01:17:28,519 --> 01:17:31,814
Hate's no good. I'm not
living here with you in hate.
1042
01:17:32,606 --> 01:17:36,735
Get rid of it all together, Larry,
or I'm leaving you.
1043
01:18:15,107 --> 01:18:17,026
Oh!
1044
01:18:19,361 --> 01:18:21,405
Oh, Larry!
1045
01:18:33,626 --> 01:18:35,294
Argh!
1046
01:18:35,461 --> 01:18:37,546
(static on TV)
1047
01:18:47,306 --> 01:18:50,559
(gentle snoring)
1048
01:19:05,866 --> 01:19:07,868
His name was Owen...
1049
01:19:08,035 --> 01:19:11,163
...and he wanted me to kill his mother.
1050
01:19:11,747 --> 01:19:13,958
When I asked him why,
1051
01:19:14,124 --> 01:19:17,253
he said because he didn't like her.
1052
01:19:18,170 --> 01:19:20,464
When I asked him why me,
1053
01:19:21,131 --> 01:19:24,260
he said it was my idea.
1054
01:19:28,639 --> 01:19:31,433
I was teaching college...
1055
01:19:51,870 --> 01:19:53,956
(continues typing)
1056
01:20:04,466 --> 01:20:06,552
(rings)
1057
01:20:07,845 --> 01:20:10,389
- Hello.
- Aloha.
1058
01:20:10,556 --> 01:20:12,975
- Owen! How are ya!
- I'm fine.
1059
01:20:13,142 --> 01:20:16,562
- Where are you?
- In Topanga Canyon. I just killed Beth.
1060
01:20:16,729 --> 01:20:18,731
- What?
- Nah, I'm kiddin'.
1061
01:20:18,897 --> 01:20:22,568
- Look out your window.
- You little couch potato!
1062
01:20:23,777 --> 01:20:26,780
- Hi, Owen!
- Hi, Larry.
1063
01:20:27,281 --> 01:20:29,658
- Owen, come on up.
- OK.
1064
01:20:30,659 --> 01:20:34,038
- I missed you.
- I missed you, too. It's been a year.
1065
01:20:34,204 --> 01:20:37,041
- Wow. You look terrific.
- Thank you. So do you.
1066
01:20:37,207 --> 01:20:39,752
- Well, thanks. How's Momma?
- Dead.
1067
01:20:39,918 --> 01:20:42,755
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- Mm, well...
1068
01:20:42,921 --> 01:20:44,590
Did you, um...
1069
01:20:44,757 --> 01:20:46,216
No!
1070
01:20:46,383 --> 01:20:48,969
No. Natural causes.
1071
01:20:49,136 --> 01:20:52,014
- That's good.
- Yeah, well.
1072
01:20:52,181 --> 01:20:53,432
I see you're writing.
1073
01:20:53,599 --> 01:20:55,976
I started the day
I got outta the hospital.
1074
01:20:56,143 --> 01:21:00,397
And I haven't stopped, Owen. I'm half a
paragraph away from finishing my book!
1075
01:21:00,564 --> 01:21:02,941
- That's great!
- Yeah, it's really somethin'.
1076
01:21:03,108 --> 01:21:05,527
Well, you know what they say.
1077
01:21:05,694 --> 01:21:08,947
(both) A writer writes... always.
1078
01:21:09,573 --> 01:21:11,450
Well, look. I won't keep you from it.
1079
01:21:11,617 --> 01:21:14,912
- I just came by to say hello and...
- You just got here!
1080
01:21:15,079 --> 01:21:17,998
Actually, I gotta catch a plane. I'm
goin' to New York because...
1081
01:21:18,165 --> 01:21:20,042
- I wrote a book.
- What?
1082
01:21:20,209 --> 01:21:22,836
It's gonna be on the stands in two days.
1083
01:21:23,003 --> 01:21:26,090
You wrote a book?
And it's gonna be published?
1084
01:21:26,256 --> 01:21:28,801
- Yeah.
- Owen, that's unbelievable!
1085
01:21:28,967 --> 01:21:31,970
It's called Momma and Owen
and Owen's Friend Larry,
1086
01:21:32,137 --> 01:21:36,725
and it's all about you and me and
Momma and our experiences together.
1087
01:21:37,976 --> 01:21:40,062
What's your book about?
1088
01:21:42,773 --> 01:21:46,276
You wrote a book called Momma
and Owen and Owen's Friend Larry?
1089
01:21:46,443 --> 01:21:47,820
Yeah.
1090
01:21:49,363 --> 01:21:53,242
- It's all about our...
- (both) ..experiences together.
1091
01:21:55,452 --> 01:21:57,913
- Slut! You slut!
- Are you angry with me?
1092
01:21:58,080 --> 01:22:00,833
- I don't like you, Owen!
- You want me to leave?
1093
01:22:00,999 --> 01:22:02,418
No, I want you dead and in hell!
1094
01:22:04,086 --> 01:22:05,712
(Owen 989$)
1095
01:22:05,879 --> 01:22:09,174
- I can't breathe!
- Because I'm choking you, you moron!
1096
01:22:09,341 --> 01:22:10,884
Here!
1097
01:22:11,051 --> 01:22:12,970
Here. I want you to have this.
1098
01:22:13,137 --> 01:22:15,013
- What is this?
- That's my book.
1099
01:22:20,102 --> 01:22:21,937
What is this?
You wrote a pop-up book?
1100
01:22:22,104 --> 01:22:23,522
Yeah. Yeah.
1101
01:22:23,689 --> 01:22:26,900
See? Here's where we meet
in class. Pull that tab.
1102
01:22:27,943 --> 01:22:31,864
See? And... And this is you and me
and Beth on the choo-choo.
1103
01:22:32,030 --> 01:22:33,365
Toot, toot!
1104
01:22:33,949 --> 01:22:38,704
And here's where you meet Momma.
See her cane?
1105
01:22:39,329 --> 01:22:40,414
(mimics Momma) "Bath!"
1106
01:22:41,331 --> 01:22:45,502
- And these are my coins. See my coins?
- It's your coin collection!
1107
01:22:45,669 --> 01:22:48,505
And here's... See, instead of you
chuckin' her off a train,
1108
01:22:48,672 --> 01:22:50,090
we go on a picnic together.
1109
01:22:50,257 --> 01:22:51,884
What do we do?
Devil-egg her to death?
1110
01:22:52,050 --> 01:22:54,052
Oh, no. There's no death.
1111
01:22:54,219 --> 01:22:56,930
- There's no death?
- No, this is a kids' book.
1112
01:22:57,097 --> 01:22:59,016
- You wrote a pop-up book!
- Yeah.
1113
01:22:59,183 --> 01:23:01,226
This is the cutest thing
I've ever seen!
1114
01:23:01,393 --> 01:23:03,687
Yeah, and here's the best part.
1115
01:23:03,854 --> 01:23:08,317
We all go on vacation in Hawaii.
You... and me... and Beth.
1116
01:23:09,735 --> 01:23:12,738
(Beth) "Hate makes you impotent,
love makes you crazy."
1117
01:23:12,905 --> 01:23:15,407
"Somewhere in between
you can survive."
1118
01:23:16,116 --> 01:23:18,535
- Gets better every time I read it.
- Thank you.
1119
01:23:18,702 --> 01:23:22,247
- Except for the last line.
- I beg your goddamn pardon?
1120
01:23:22,414 --> 01:23:24,917
Hate makes you impotent,
love makes you crazy.
1121
01:23:25,083 --> 01:23:26,835
In the middle you can survive?
1122
01:23:27,002 --> 01:23:29,421
- Yeah!
- It's cryptic!
1123
01:23:29,588 --> 01:23:31,924
- Cryptic, he says.
- That's right. Cryptic.
1124
01:23:32,090 --> 01:23:33,008
Cryptic.
1125
01:23:33,175 --> 01:23:37,262
Watch this, Beth. Have you ever seen
a weeble snorkel? Look at him.
1126
01:23:37,429 --> 01:23:40,432
You know, actually,
I find it a little confusing.
1127
01:23:40,599 --> 01:23:43,519
- Are you kidding me?!
- Just that last line.
1128
01:23:43,685 --> 01:23:45,562
- Just the last line!
- Yeah.
1129
01:23:45,729 --> 01:23:48,690
This is great. So you
and Sancho Panza agree on this?
1130
01:23:48,857 --> 01:23:53,195
You're taking criticism from somebody
who had his book signing at Toys 'R' Us!
1131
01:23:53,362 --> 01:23:54,821
I don't believe this.
1132
01:23:56,323 --> 01:23:59,368
- You're really agreeing with him?
- He's got a point.
1133
01:23:59,535 --> 01:24:01,662
- He's got a point?!
- Yeah!
1134
01:24:01,828 --> 01:24:05,624
I'm a Book-of-the-Month Club alternate,
on the best-seller list.
1135
01:24:05,791 --> 01:24:09,378
With his book, you get a free balloon!
I don't understand it.
1136
01:24:09,545 --> 01:24:13,799
- (Beth) He's entitled to his opinion.
- I know he's entitled to his opinion.
1137
01:24:13,966 --> 01:24:16,385
But look at him. He's a buoy with hair.
1138
01:24:18,387 --> 01:24:22,766
Keep going a little further, Owen.
Maybe somebody'll harpoon you.
1139
01:24:23,267 --> 01:24:25,352
("Shikisha" by Sipho Mabuse)
1140
01:24:27,437 --> 01:24:29,481
♪ People, get ready
1141
01:24:31,275 --> 01:24:33,360
♪ Wherever you are
1142
01:24:35,779 --> 01:24:38,907
♪ People, get ready
1143
01:24:39,741 --> 01:24:42,369
♪ No matter how far
1144
01:25:01,138 --> 01:25:03,432
♪ Everywhere in the village
1145
01:25:05,225 --> 01:25:08,145
♪ People are dancing in the streets
1146
01:25:09,021 --> 01:25:11,773
♪ It's the beginning of the new life
1147
01:25:13,108 --> 01:25:16,236
♪ You can turn it up on your radio
1148
01:25:17,654 --> 01:25:19,615
♪ Shikisha
1149
01:25:19,781 --> 01:25:21,617
♪ Shikisha
1150
01:25:21,783 --> 01:25:22,826
♪ Shikisha
1151
01:25:22,993 --> 01:25:25,078
♪ Shikisha, wah, Shikisha
1152
01:25:26,038 --> 01:25:28,081
♪ Shikisha
1153
01:25:28,248 --> 01:25:30,167
♪ Shikisha
1154
01:25:30,334 --> 01:25:31,251
♪ Shikisha
1155
01:25:31,418 --> 01:25:33,503
♪ Shikisha, wah, Shikisha
1156
01:25:34,838 --> 01:25:37,633
♪ People are dancing in the streets
1157
01:25:39,051 --> 01:25:41,136
♪ Right across the Limpopo
1158
01:25:42,721 --> 01:25:45,766
♪ It's the beginning of the new age
1159
01:25:47,184 --> 01:25:50,020
♪ So turn it up on your radio
1160
01:25:51,647 --> 01:25:53,440
♪ Stomp your feet to the beat
1161
01:25:53,607 --> 01:25:55,651
♪ Feel the heat
1162
01:25:55,817 --> 01:25:57,611
♪ Stomp your feet to the beat
1163
01:25:57,778 --> 01:25:59,780
♪ Feel the heat
1164
01:25:59,946 --> 01:26:01,907
♪ Stomp your feet to the beat
1165
01:26:02,074 --> 01:26:04,076
♪ Feel the heat
1166
01:26:04,242 --> 01:26:06,161
♪ Stomp your feet to the beat
1167
01:26:06,328 --> 01:26:07,871
♪ Feel the heat
1168
01:26:08,038 --> 01:26:10,165
♪ Wah, Shikisha
1169
01:26:10,332 --> 01:26:13,085
♪ Shikisha!
1170
01:26:29,601 --> 01:26:31,687
♪ Stomp your feet
1171
01:26:33,647 --> 01:26:35,732
♪ Stomp your feet
1172
01:26:37,943 --> 01:26:40,028
♪ Stomp your feet
1173
01:26:42,239 --> 01:26:44,324
♪ Stomp your feet
92554
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